Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:07,716
It's The Muppet Show, with our very
special guest star Miss Juliet Prowse.
2
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,219
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
3
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:19,352
♪ It's time to play the music ♪
4
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,521
♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
5
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:25,191
♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
6
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:28,028
♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
7
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,238
♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
8
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:33,366
♪ It's time to raise the curtain
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
9
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,247
Hey, have I got an opening joke
for you tonight.
10
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:40,665
[GIGGLES]
11
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:44,169
You're... Oh, you're gonna love this.
These two...
12
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,379
♪ To introduce our guest star ♪
13
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,381
♪ That's what I'm here to do ♪
14
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,759
♪ So it really makes me happy ♪
15
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,886
♪ To introduce to you ♪
16
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,388
Miss Juliet Prowse!
17
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:06,024
♪ But now let's get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
18
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,318
♪ Celebrational, MuppetationaI ♪
19
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:11,029
♪ This is what we call ♪
20
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:15,116
♪ The Muppet Show ♪
21
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:26,670
Thank you. Thank you. Hey, listen,
it's another great show, folks.
22
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:30,799
I mean, tonight our guest star is one
of the truly great dancers of the world,
23
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,927
the one and only Miss Juliet Prowse.
24
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:37,931
And, if that weren't enough,
we've also got "Mahna Mahna,"
25
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,557
whatever that means.
26
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,939
♪ Be-do be-do do-do-do
Be-do be-be-do be-do ♪
27
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:47,691
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
28
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:51,736
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
29
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,363
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
30
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:54,823
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
31
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,074
♪ Do do-do do ♪
32
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:57,200
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
33
00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:58,576
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
34
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:02,372
♪ Be-do-do, be-do-do
Be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do ♪
35
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:06,126
♪ Mahna mahna mahna-ma
Nuh-nuh me-nah-ne-nah ♪
36
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,837
♪ Nuh-nuh-nuh mah-mah nuh-nuh ♪
37
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,548
♪ Uh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh ♪
38
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:14,050
[STAMMERING]
39
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,011
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
40
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,721
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
41
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:18,847
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
42
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,348
♪ Do do-do do ♪
43
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:21,474
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
44
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:22,767
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
45
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:27,063
♪ Be-do-do, be-do-do
Be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do ♪
46
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,899
♪ Mah nuh-nuh mah nuh-nuh ♪
47
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,235
♪ Mah-nuh mah-nuh-nuh
Mah-nuh-nuh-nuh ♪
48
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,739
♪ Mah-nuh mah-nuh-nana nuh-nuh ne ♪
49
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:37,824
Nuh?
50
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,493
Huh?
51
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:42,746
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
52
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,164
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
53
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,290
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
54
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,916
♪ Do do-do do ♪
55
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,043
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
56
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:49,252
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
57
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:53,506
♪ Be-do-do, be-do-do
Be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do ♪
58
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:56,760
♪ Nuh-nuh-nuh nuh-nuh
Mah nuh-nuh ♪
59
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,387
♪ Uh-nuh-nuh-nuh mah-nuh-nuh ♪
60
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:02,766
♪ Nuh-nuh-nuh na nuh-ne-nuh nah nah ♪
61
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:07,896
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
62
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,522
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
63
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:10,648
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
64
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,150
♪ Do do-do do ♪
65
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:13,276
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
66
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,569
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
67
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:18,531
♪ Be-do-do, be-do-do
Be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do ♪
68
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,534
♪ Mah-nuh-nuh na nuh-nuh ♪
69
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,870
♪ Mah-nuh-nuh na nuh-nuh ♪
70
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,499
♪ Mah-nah-nah-nah ♪
71
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,589
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
72
00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,049
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
73
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,175
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
74
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:38,718
♪ Do do-do do ♪
75
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:39,844
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
76
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,054
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
77
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:45,433
♪ Be-do-do, be-do-do
Be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do ♪
78
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,559
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
79
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,061
♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
80
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,187
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
81
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,814
♪ Do do-do do ♪
82
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:53,191
-♪ Mahna mahna ♪
-♪ Do doo be-do-do ♪
83
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:56,319
♪ Be-do-do, be-do-do
Be-do-do-doodle do do ♪
84
00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,529
[PHONE RINGS]
85
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:01,324
Hello? Okay, just a second.
86
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:03,827
It's for you.
87
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:05,829
MAHNA MAHNA:
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
88
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,378
The question is, what is a "Mahna Mahna"?
89
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:15,839
The question is, who cares?
90
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,096
Think about this, friends.
91
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,974
Boss, Muppy and I wanted to talk to you
92
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,226
about the act we're doing
on the show tonight.
93
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:30,979
Uh, Scooter, you're not doing
an act on the show tonight.
94
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:35,025
Oh, gee, my uncle who owns this theater
thought of this act, didn't he?
95
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,610
Tell us about the act
you're doing on the show tonight.
96
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:41,031
Oh, it's called "Simon Smith
and his Amazing Dancing Dog."
97
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,741
Yeah, I sing this song, see,
98
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:46,995
and Muppy here does this cute,
adorable, sweet, sugary little dance.
99
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:52,375
Um, well, it sounds, says the frog,
displaying his artistic judgment, sappy.
100
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,753
-Gee, my uncle thought it was...
-Uh...
101
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:59,758
It sounds, says the frog,
displaying his will to survive, wonderful.
102
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:03,011
-Yeah, it's great. He'll love it.
-Certainly.
103
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:07,057
I've often thought of Muppy here
as about the cutest little fellow around.
104
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,266
[GROWLS]
105
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,518
He thinks of himself as a killer.
106
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,395
Let me out of here!
107
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:20,153
That dumb dog. Whoa, I'm on-stage.
Wow! Ahem.
108
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,405
Now that I'm here,
let me take this opportunity
109
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:26,659
to present The Muppet Show's
resident artist, Gonzo the Great!
110
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,328
[FANFARE]
111
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,414
Ah! Thank you. Thank you very much.
Thank you.
112
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,916
Tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
113
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:38,922
I will eat this rubber tire to the music
of "The Flight of the Bumblebee."
114
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,799
Music, Maestro.
115
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,176
[BAND PLAYING "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE"]
116
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:47,681
-He's doing it, he's eating a tire.
-Amazing!
117
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:50,266
-Astounding!
-Boring!
118
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,688
[JEERS AND BOOS]
119
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,067
Looks like it's another wipeout for Gonzo.
120
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,240
Ah, yokels!
121
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,200
What do they know about art?
122
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,493
[SPITTING]
123
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:12,497
Hey, Kermit, Muppy wants you
to know he's very sorry he bit you.
124
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,833
-Oh, yeah?
-He wants you to know he's very grateful
125
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,960
you're letting him
do the "Simon Smith" number.
126
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,086
Oh, well, that's nice.
127
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:21,381
He wants you to know he wants
his own dressing room and star billing.
128
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,967
What? Who is this crazy dog?
129
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,927
He's my uncle's favorite pet.
130
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,846
[SLURPS]
131
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,973
Blech!
132
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:43,236
Hello there, Miss Prowse.
Hey, listen, is everything okay?
133
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,613
-Any complaints?
-No, none whatsoever.
134
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,491
Except that I've never had
to share my dressing room before
135
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,493
with a man who eats a tire.
136
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:55,373
I told Gonzo to dress in the alley.
Hey, listen, I gotta go introduce you.
137
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,375
You look beautiful. Beautiful!
138
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,918
[LAUGHS]
139
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,129
He's sweet. For a frog.
140
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:06,634
Ladies and gentlemen,
the lovely Miss Juliet Prowse.
141
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,602
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING RAGTIME]
142
00:09:57,389 --> 00:10:00,558
She just vanished. How did she do that?
143
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,060
Probably like this.
144
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,395
[INHALES]
145
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:08,441
Yup. That's probably how she did it.
146
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,072
[BAND PLAYING BALLROOM DANCE MUSIC]
147
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,329
You're such a smooth dancer.
148
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:26,042
Ever since we've started, I feel like
my feet have never touched the floor.
149
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,879
They haven't.
You've been standing on mine.
150
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,715
Oops!
151
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:36,136
Do you prefer Shakespeare to Bacon?
152
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,304
I prefer anything to bacon.
153
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:43,727
-You mind if I smoke?
-If you insist.
154
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,228
Thanks.
155
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,608
[ALL COUGHING]
156
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:59,117
-Smoke's not bothering you, is it?
-Manager!
157
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,167
[PLAYING CLASSICAL THEME]
158
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:11,921
At this time,
I would like to present my rendition
159
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,883
of one of the great songs of our time.
160
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:20,263
That ever-popular classic,
"You and I and George."
161
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:26,895
"But why," you ask, as well you should,
162
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:30,607
"have I never heard this great song
of our times?"
163
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:35,236
Fact is, nobody has ever heard
of this ever-popular classic.
164
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:41,159
In its only recording,
"You and I and George" sold two copies.
165
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:45,163
I bought one and George bought one.
166
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,667
Where were you?
167
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:59,177
My own mother turns down
her hearing aid when I sing this song.
168
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:08,269
♪ You and I and George ♪
169
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:13,942
♪ Went strolling through the park
One day ♪
170
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,070
♪ And then ♪
171
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,698
♪ You held my hand ♪
172
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,575
♪ As if to say ♪
173
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:29,708
♪ I love you ♪
174
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:31,835
♪ Then ♪
175
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,671
♪ We passed a brook ♪
176
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:40,719
♪ And George fell in and drowned himself ♪
177
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:45,223
♪ And floated out to sea ♪
178
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,602
♪ Leaving you ♪
179
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,856
♪ Alone ♪
180
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:57,861
♪ With me ♪
181
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:09,372
You know, that number you did
was just beautiful, Juliet.
182
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,790
Well, thank you, Kermit.
183
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:14,502
You know, I'm really happy to be
here with you and all the Muppets.
184
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:18,006
You know something?
I've never talked to a frog before.
185
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:23,136
Well, we're just like anyone else.
A little more jumpy maybe.
186
00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:26,139
But, you know, we have
our hopes and our dreams.
187
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,558
Oh, yeah? Well, what are
some of your dreams?
188
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,435
Well, uh, ahem...
189
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,396
You may just think
I'm gilding the lily pad here,
190
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:36,900
but, as a tadpole,
I always wanted to be a dancer.
191
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:40,528
-Oh!
-But you know what they say:
192
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:43,156
The first thing to go on a frog
are his legs.
193
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,325
You know, that's what they say.
194
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:49,412
That's funny, I never knew
that frogs had a sense of humor.
195
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,289
Oh, well, we have to.
196
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:55,627
Listen, you meet a frog without a sense of
humor and you're looking at a green lump.
197
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,380
Let's just face it, Julie.
198
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:02,175
Your average frog doesn't have a lot
going for him in the looks department.
199
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,553
Oh, I don't know,
I think you're quite attractive.
200
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,806
-Really?
-Mm-hm.
201
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:10,183
You're not just saying that
because you're a guest?
202
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,309
Well, certainly not.
203
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:15,730
In fact, I'd go as far as to say
that you are the Robert Redford of frogs.
204
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:19,109
Oh, wow!
Hey, listen, everybody, you hear that?
205
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,195
Juliet Prowse thinks
I'm the Robert Redford of frogs.
206
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,073
Hey, you're gonna be coming back
on this show a lot.
207
00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:28,868
Hey, listen,
have you ever kissed Robert Redford?
208
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:32,330
-No, I haven't.
-Well, how about, ahem...
209
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,458
kissing the next best thing?
210
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:38,294
You mean to tell me
that Paul Newman is here?
211
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,090
I mean me, the Robert Redford of frogdom.
212
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,592
Ah! My pleasure.
213
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:46,469
Whoo!
214
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,014
More! More!
215
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,932
Less! Less!
216
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:58,148
-Okay, stand by for the Western sketch.
-Hey, Kermit, Kermit.
217
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,401
[IMITATING JOHN WAYNE]
Does this sound like John Wayne?
218
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,528
Will you get on-stage, Fozzie?
219
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,030
-Hey, Kermit.
-Hm?
220
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:08,033
Yeah, now that Muppy is doing
the big "Simon Smith" number,
221
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,868
he only has one other suggestion.
222
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,871
I already gave him his own
dressing room, what more does he want?
223
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:16,082
Well, it's about the title of the show.
Look.
224
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,627
The Muppy Show?
225
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,379
[YELLS]
226
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:25,133
Ladies and gentlemen, it's cowboy time.
227
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,886
[PLAYING HONKY TONK PIANO]
228
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:32,766
I'd been playing saloon piano
in Snake City for three years.
229
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,101
It was the roughest town in the West.
230
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,646
I mean, we had some mean customers.
231
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:42,484
-Howdy, Rowlf,
-Uh... Hello, Miss Kitty.
232
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,904
I mean, they were tough.
233
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,074
After three years
I thought I'd seen it all.
234
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:53,745
I'd seen the Clanton brothers,
the Younger brothers, the James brothers.
235
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:57,040
Not to mention the Osmond brothers.
236
00:15:57,165 --> 00:16:01,920
But when Kid Fozzie came to town,
I knew I hadn't seen nothing.
237
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:08,927
All right, everybody. Reach for the floor.
238
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:15,433
-Beg pardon?
-Reach for the floor. This is a stickdown.
239
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,728
You're confused, Kid.
You ain't got no guns.
240
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,188
Those are pickles.
241
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:27,320
That's right, folks. There he is,
the fastest gherkin in the West.
242
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,738
[ALL LAUGHING]
243
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,908
He's got a license to carry them pickles?
244
00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:38,206
Hey, when you get shot by a pickle
at close range, do you get garlic burns?
245
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,541
[ALL LAUGHING]
246
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:43,211
All right, you asked for it.
247
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:51,261
Sorry, Kid, I didn't know the pickles
were loaded. Here's your money.
248
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:55,223
All right, Kid, don't make a move, I got
you covered. Throw down your pickles.
249
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:56,725
Okay.
250
00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,353
I don't need guns to fight you.
251
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:05,233
-I'll get you with my knife.
-Will you stop with the vegetables?
252
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:09,237
Boy, you shouldn't have done that.
I'm a desperate bear,
253
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,990
ready for desperate measures.
254
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,034
Oh, no!
255
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:16,494
-It's an apple!
-And don't tell me...
256
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:20,123
Yes. The fuse is lit.
257
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:25,128
The fuse is lit?
258
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,970
[COUGHING]
259
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:44,522
And that's how it was the day
Kid Fozzie came into town.
260
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:53,281
That's one of the reasons
I always thought the Muppets were weird.
261
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:57,369
-Why's that?
-They think explosions are funny.
262
00:17:58,036 --> 00:18:00,914
-Yes.
-Explosions aren't funny.
263
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:06,252
Although some of them
are really quite droll.
264
00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:13,593
Juliet, what has one eye,
sharp teeth and is long and fuzzy?
265
00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:16,054
-I don't know.
-I don't either, but you're wearing it.
266
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,806
Hiya, toots.
267
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,183
[BOTH SCREAM]
268
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,063
Muppy, Scooter, you're on next.
269
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,941
-It's no use, Kermit.
-What?
270
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:31,444
Muppy says if you won't change
the title of the show, he's not going on.
271
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:34,447
He's locked himself in
his dressing room and he's not coming out.
272
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,825
Yeah, but the "Simon Smith" number's
on next.
273
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:37,951
I know, I know.
274
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,620
-What are we gonna do?
-Kermit? Kermit? Kermit?
275
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:43,873
How come I'm not doing an act this week?
Hm?
276
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,000
Uh...
277
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:48,336
Congratulations, Fozzie,
you're doing an act this week.
278
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,549
Sometimes I can be very persuasive.
279
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:59,848
Ladies and gentlemen, "Simon Smith
and his Amazing Dancing... Bear."
280
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,601
[PLAYING JAZZY THEME]
281
00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:10,358
♪ I may go out tomorrow ♪
282
00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:13,445
♪ If I can borrow a coat to wear ♪
283
00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:16,239
♪ Oh, I'd step out in style ♪
284
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,367
♪ With my sincere smile
And my dancing bear ♪
285
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:22,245
♪ Outrageous, alarming ♪
286
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,457
♪ Courageous, charming ♪
287
00:19:25,749 --> 00:19:28,626
♪ Oh, who would think a boy and bear ♪
288
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:31,671
♪ Could be well-accepted everywhere? ♪
289
00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:35,759
♪ It's just amazing
How fair people can be ♪
290
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:44,017
♪ Seen at the nicest places ♪
291
00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:47,645
♪ Where well-fed faces all stop to stare ♪
292
00:19:47,771 --> 00:19:50,398
♪ Making the grandest entrances ♪
293
00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:52,901
♪ Simon Smith and his dancing bear ♪
294
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,235
♪ They'll love us ♪
295
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,029
♪ Won't they? ♪
296
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,530
♪ They feed us ♪
297
00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,157
♪ Don't they? ♪
298
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:02,160
♪ Oh, who would think a boy and bear ♪
299
00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:05,205
♪ Could be well-accepted everywhere? ♪
300
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:09,250
♪ It's just amazing
How fair people can be ♪
301
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:29,562
♪ Oh, who needs money ♪
302
00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:32,107
♪ When we're funny? ♪
303
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,316
Ha, ha!
304
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,819
♪ The great attraction everywhere ♪
305
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:38,863
♪ Will be Simon Smith
And his dancing bear ♪
306
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:45,954
♪ It's Simon Smith
And his amazing dancing bear ♪
307
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,207
Together! Yes!
308
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,795
Oh, yes!
309
00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:03,096
Say, Waldorf,
I was wondering if maybe you...
310
00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:08,351
Darn, I'd better get some new batteries
for my hearing aid.
311
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:12,355
I fooI him every time! Ha, ha, ha!
312
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:19,904
Okay, Muppet Glee Club,
Muppet Glee Club on-stage, please.
313
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:22,615
Muppet Glee Club, okay, all right.
314
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:25,618
Everybody in position, please. Okay.
315
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:26,995
Everybody ready?
316
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:32,208
The Muppet Glee Club. One and two and...
317
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:36,171
Uh, uh...
318
00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:38,882
Wait, wait, wait. Something is amiss here.
319
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:43,553
-I thought it was lovely.
-You wave that stick wonderfully.
320
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:46,681
When it comes to stick waving,
Kermit wrote the book.
321
00:21:46,765 --> 00:21:49,809
Well, thank you, thank you,
I do appreciate that kind comment,
322
00:21:49,893 --> 00:21:53,563
but I would like to point out to all
assembled here that this is a glee club.
323
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:56,274
Oh, yes, that is what our letterhead says.
324
00:21:56,358 --> 00:22:00,403
So when I wave this stick so wonderfully,
I would like to hear something.
325
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:01,571
ALL:
Oh!
326
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,990
We were remiss in that regard.
327
00:22:04,074 --> 00:22:07,827
Okay. Here we go, one more time.
The Muppet Glee Club.
328
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:10,163
One and two and...
329
00:22:10,622 --> 00:22:12,665
[ALL SINGING DIFFERENT TUNES]
330
00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:18,046
Wait, wait, wait. Hold, hold, hold...
331
00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:21,174
Hold it, hold it, hold it. Hold it, stop.
332
00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:25,470
How shall I say this? Excuse me, friends,
but to my ears at least,
333
00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:28,056
it would help a lot
if you were all singing
334
00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:30,350
-the same song!
CAMILLA: Oh, I love it!
335
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:33,687
-So wild!
-The frog is a genius.
336
00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:34,938
Awful cute too.
337
00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:37,315
It really doesn't matter
what song you sing,
338
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,110
as long as we all agree
to the song that we're going to sing.
339
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:41,319
-Okay.
-Okay.
340
00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:43,571
Now, does anybody here
have a favorite song?
341
00:22:43,655 --> 00:22:45,156
ALL:
Yes!
342
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:50,161
-Uh-- What song is that?
ALL: "Temptation"!
343
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:54,207
Since there seems to be
some consensus of opinion here,
344
00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:58,211
the Muppet Glee Club will now render,
ahem, "Temptation."
345
00:22:59,462 --> 00:23:00,964
-Piggy, honey?
-Hm?
346
00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:03,508
-You can take the solo.
-Yes, my love.
347
00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:05,927
-Okay, here we go.
-I love him.
348
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,972
The Muppet Glee Club, "Temptation."
349
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:11,224
One and two and...
350
00:23:11,349 --> 00:23:15,228
♪ Dum da-da da, dum da-da da
Dum da-da da, dum dum ♪
351
00:23:15,311 --> 00:23:19,149
♪ Dum da-da da, dum da-da da
Dum da-da da, dum dum dum ♪
352
00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:21,860
-♪ You came ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
353
00:23:21,985 --> 00:23:25,780
-♪ I was alone ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
354
00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:28,867
-♪ I should have known ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
355
00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:34,873
-♪ You were temptation ♪
-♪ Dum dum dum da-da da dum ♪
356
00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:37,792
-♪ You smiled ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
357
00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:41,546
-♪ Luring me on ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
358
00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:44,924
-♪ My heart was gone ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
359
00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:50,180
-♪ You were temptation ♪
-♪ Dum dum dum da-da da dum ♪
360
00:23:50,263 --> 00:23:53,975
♪ It would be thrilling ♪
361
00:23:54,225 --> 00:23:57,854
♪ If you were willing ♪
362
00:23:58,229 --> 00:24:03,026
♪ If it can never be ♪
363
00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:06,571
♪ Pity me ♪
364
00:24:06,654 --> 00:24:09,949
-♪ For you were ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
365
00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:14,037
-♪ Born to be kissed ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
366
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,790
-♪ I can't resist ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
367
00:24:16,873 --> 00:24:20,543
-♪ You are temptation ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
368
00:24:20,669 --> 00:24:25,799
-♪ And I am yours ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
369
00:24:25,924 --> 00:24:29,803
-♪ Here is my heart ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
370
00:24:29,928 --> 00:24:32,931
-♪ Take it and say ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
371
00:24:33,056 --> 00:24:37,185
-♪ We'll never part ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
372
00:24:37,310 --> 00:24:40,939
-♪ I'm just a slave ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
373
00:24:41,022 --> 00:24:46,111
-♪ Only a slave ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
374
00:24:46,194 --> 00:24:50,115
-♪ To you ♪
-♪ Da-da da dum da-da da dum ♪
375
00:24:50,198 --> 00:24:56,830
♪ Temptation ♪
376
00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:06,214
Juliet, I want to tell you what a pleasure
it was to have you with us on the show.
377
00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:08,842
Oh, Kermit, I really enjoyed it.
378
00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:11,136
And as a little token of our appreciation,
379
00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:13,722
we have a Muppet likeness of you
right here.
380
00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:17,767
-Oh, how sweet.
-I know you'd rather have the cash, but...
381
00:25:17,851 --> 00:25:20,103
No, no, no, Kermit,
this is just wonderful.
382
00:25:20,228 --> 00:25:21,479
-Oh.
-Uh...
383
00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:24,983
-Can I come home with you?
-Well, of course you can.
384
00:25:25,108 --> 00:25:27,527
She's not as pretty as you,
you know, but...
385
00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:30,613
Oh, Kermit, thank you. Mwah!
386
00:25:30,739 --> 00:25:33,867
Ooh, thank you.
And thank you all for joining us.
387
00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:36,870
We'll see you all next time
on The Muppet Show.
388
00:25:36,953 --> 00:25:39,122
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
389
00:26:16,534 --> 00:26:21,206
-Well, what did you think?
-Beats sitting home watching television.
390
00:26:21,289 --> 00:26:22,749
♪ Mahna mahna ♪
30367
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
