All language subtitles for The Nanny S04E02 The Birds Nest 1080p WEB-DL DD2 0 H 264-squalor_track3_[eng]

All right.
Now, prepare yourself, honey.

This is Loehmann's semi annual,
red star clearance.

You are gonna see things today,

that will haunt you for
the rest of your shopping
life.

Excuse me. Please.
Please, excuse me.

Shouldn't we help that woman
in the wheelchair through
first?

Oh, honey, stand your ground.

Last year when they put
out the Donna Karan,

she popped out of that chair
and screamed, "It's a
miracle."

Oh, all right.
They're about to open the
door.

-Watch your nose.
-Why? What's gonna
happen to my--

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[ALL YELLING]

Oh! Oh, God. Oh, look at
this.
Oh, this is so my color.

Oh, wait, it seems to be....
Oh, it's, like, hooked on
something.

-Help me.
-Excuse me, please.

-I had this sweater first.
-[CHUCKLES] I believe you're
mistaken.

-I've got the cuff.
-I've got the armpit.

I've got your kid.

Hah. She's not mine.

Listen, I'm warning you,
my nicotine patch fell off,

my mother's in town
and my boyfriend

just left me for my brother.

Now, I'm over 30, single,
and I work for her.

Hold onto this and
don't let go honey.

Hey, did you see
the movie,Babe,

-Yeah.
-Well, they ate him
at the wrap party.

Well, I can't hear you!

[♪♪♪]

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing to the
Sheffield's door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there to sell
makeup
but the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have
guessed that the girl
we've described ♪♪

♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪

Oh, I'm telling you,
ma,
the kid is a natural.

Honey, show her what you did
to get those women away

-from the Calvin Klein rack.
-"Look, there's John John!"

You don't learn
these
things in books.

[FRAN LAUGHS]

Meanwhile, ma, what'd you
have for lunch over there?

You got enough butter
on you to have your
ownLast Tango in
Paris.

I had a lobster.

Your Uncle Stanley caught them
near Rockaway Beach.

Ma, they don't even like
people to swim in that water.

It could be toxic.

What are you talking about?

There's nothing wrong
with those lobsters.

They're excellent.
Plus, they got two tails.

All right.
So when you grow that second
mouth out of your shoulder,

you can eat'em
at the same time.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

Ma, you made daddy sit
in the car for two hours?

We got a car phone
at a time share
walk-through.

Now, he can sit
and call Howard
Stern.

Why he wants to get
screamed at and
berated,

I will never understand.

Lay off the horn, youyutz!

Ms. Fine, have you seen
Brighton's science test?

-He got a 66.
-Wow, Brighton, you passed.

By a hair. That is no good.

I'm not kidding, young man.

We went through
all this last semester.

You keep this up and
I'm gonna have to send you
to military school.

-What?
-Military school?

Are you serious?

Nothing but young men.
No women for miles around?

I mean, for me it'd be nice.

Dad, look, I've got
a big science project due.

I've been working
on it for weeks.

It's definitely gonna
bring my grade up.

Oh, my God, where did
my moldy strawberry go?
Oh, I'm dead!

Well, you better think
of something else pretty
soon, young man.

And try to be more inventive
than moldy fruit.

And I don't want you
helping him either.

I wouldn't dream of it.

Not after the review my
strawberry got.

Brighton needs to learn
to do things on his own.

-I've packed
your briefcase, sir.
-Thank you.

You make things
far too easy for the boy.

He'll never become a man.

Doesn't have that
boyish
thing happening, sir.

Oh, there we are.

Are the kids yours or does
he do everything for you?

I'm serious, Ms. Fine.

And just because
Brighton
has a trust fund

don't think I'm gonna
let him end up
jet-setting
around the world,

skiing and yachting
and flitting from
party
to party.

Oh, he's got
far too much pride for that.

I mean, for me it'd be nice.

Maxwell, I am sorry I'm late.
I had to pack a bag.

They're fumigating my apartment.

They've tried that before.
You always come back.

Anyway, it's very difficult
to find a hotel that will
accept dogs.

Did you promise you wouldn't
hump the bellboy's leg?

You know, Niles, it's
a pity we don't see
more
of one another.

-Maxwell, I just had
a crazy notion.
-[DOG BARKS]

Why don't Chester
and I stay here?

Yes, of course, C.C.,
Niles will take care
of everything.

Oh, good.
Here you go.

Give him one of these
pills
three times a day.

-I'll put it in his food.
-Wrong end.

Well, I just thank God,
that I was making tea
while opening the mail

when this envelope addressed to
you accidentally steamed opened.

Applications
for military school?

I can't believe you're
thinking
about sending my baby away.

Who is this man I'm living
with?
I don't even know you anymore.

Ms. Fine, I happen to think
discipline is a way
of showing love.

Well, I am seeing a
whole
new side to you

that frankly I find...

intriguing.

[MEOWS]

Oh, look, Mr. Sheffield,

you got a cat on your terrace.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

He's probably hungry. I feed
him
something this time everyday.

Mr. Sheffield, I thought you
said you hated cats.

No. I hate
Andrew Lloyd Webber'sCats.

Here, Shoes.

-Shoes?
-Yeah.

Roger Clinton's cat
from next door.
Socks' sister.

Shoes and Socks?

And these are the people
they think they're clever
enough

to orchestrate Whitewater?

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
you better watch out.

Look at this,
you've got a little bird's
nest

with three little bird's eggs.

I thought birds laid
their eggs in the spring.

She's a bit late,
isn't she?

Hey, it's the '90s.

She don't have to lay
eggs
the minute she moves out
of her parents' nest.

Maybe she spent the
last
three years sitting
on somebody else's

waiting for that
certain
gray-streaked pigeon
to make his move.

-What are you doing?
-It's my science project.

Maggie gave me the idea.

See, I'm comparing different
types of lipsticks to see

which one's gonna stay
on the longest.

Oh, that's a good one.

Honey, that's not gonna
get you an "A" in science.

But it'll definitely get
you
out of military school.

Oh, you're right. It stinks.

You know what? Military school
might not be so bad.

Fran, when I'm gone,
I want you to have my
room.

Honey, stop it.
I don't want it.

Sure I could break through
that wall and create
a fabulous dressing area

with a tremendous
walk-in closet.

But I don't need that,
I need you.

Are these hardwood floors
under here?

If I could just think
of a great science
project.

Well, I'm sorry, but I
cannot
help you with that, mister.

You are gonna have to think
about that all on your own.

Okay. Here's my idea.

There were three abandoned eggs
in a nest on the terrace.

I thought you could incubate
them with heat lamps

and then you can document
the hatching.

Fran, that's a great idea.
How'd you think of it?

Well, who knows more about eggs
just sitting around going to
waste than me?

Hello.

Maxwell, I thought we might
have a little nightcap.

MAXWELL'S VOICE:
I don't want to do it at
the
house.

Meet me at the Regency Hotel
in an hour.

Niles? What are you doing
hanging around outside my room?

I was anxious to hear how your
meeting at the Regency went.

Did Pavarotti agree
to sing "Pagliacci"
at your benefit?

-After I buttered him up.
-[SWITCHES RECORDER ON]

I said, "I've dreamed of
seeing
you dressed like a clown.

Oh, God, it would be thrilling."

[SWITCHES RECORDER OFF]

Thank you.

Hey, honey,
what are you doing?

Oh, The Limited is having
a blowout sale.

Sweetie.

What are you thinking?

-It's tomorrow.
-Oh.

[PHONE RINGING]

-Hello.
-Fran listen, I need you to
do
me a really big favor.

You've got to turn
the heat lamps on the eggs
for 15 minutes.

B, I'm not supposed to help you.

Come on, Fran,
you've always helped me.

You've been like
a mother to me.

Forget it, B,
it's not gonna work.

Of course you're far too young
to be a mother.

All right. It worked.

This is the last time
I wanna hear about your
stupid eggs, uh... mama.

Oh, is that your mother?
I need to speak with her.

Sylvia, hello. Listen,
about those tickets you
wanted.

[HIGH VOICE] I can't
talk now. I'm nauseous.

Yeah. I hope
to see you soon, ma.

Get it?

Or your father's gonna
be sending us both
to military school.

Of course,
I could use a few good men.

Maxwell.

C.C., what's
the matter with you?

You've barely spoken
two words to me all day.

What happened to our
little
meeting at the Regency?

Oh, I decided
to handle it myself.

Maxwell, I would have
loved to have helped
you.

Yes, I appreciate that, C.C.
but it really went
much faster without you.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, I hate,
An Affair to Remember.

Why are you making me
watch this?

[CRYING] Tell him
you can't walk.

Tell him he ruined your life.

Make him feel guilty!

She's obviously not Jewish.

Oh, well,
now I'm too upset to study.

Oh, I'll have to go out
and get some burgers
with my friends.

Thanks a lot, Fran!

-I'm home.
-Oh, there you are.

How can you spend so long
at a mall?

Oh, this from a woman
that once spent two
hours

at Potatoes,
Potatoes,
Potatoes?

There are 80 toppings, dear.

Now did you remember
to turn the heat lamps
on?

Yes. I am responsible.

You know, you better get
your act together mister.

What are you gonna do
when I'm married
and have kids of my own

and I'm not living here anymore?

All right, bad example.

Come on, Fran,
what's the big deal?

All I asked you to do was
turn on a light.

It isn't a big deal,

unless I forget to turn it off.

Oh, God, I'm going to boot camp.

Oh, B, it looks like it's
okay.
Look, look, see.

Which only goes
to prove that heat is--

-Oh, oh, oh, invincible!
-[EGGS CRACK]

Do you think it broke?

All right. You know
what?
Let's just be positive.

It could still be all right.

You never read
"Humpty Dumpty," huh, kid?

Oh, God, I can't look.

B, we're in luck.
We're in luck.

It didn't break--
because it's hard boiled.

Oh, my God.

I'm very modest.
Do you think I can
get
a private latrine?

Well, B, I think that we can
salvage this egg.

-How?
-Uh...

you got any salt?

This is C.C. Babcock.

Please leave a message
at the sound of the tone.

[MACHINE BEEPS]

MAXWELL'S VOICE:I've dreamed
of seeing you dressed
like a clown.

Oh, God, it would be
thrilling.

♪♪ Working nine to five ♪♪

♪♪ What a way to
make a living ♪♪

[HUMMING]

Oh, Niles, you
know,
I was thinking,

Mr. Sheffield is
right.
If I help Brighton
with his project,

it's only
gonna hurt
him.

You've already gotten involved
and screwed up?

Yeah.

And now there's really
nothing I can do about
it

except to tell
Mr. Sheffield the
truth.

Here's the two
things
I came up with.

-Hello.
-Hello.

Hi, ma. Mwah!

Fran, I brought you one
of Uncle Stanley's lobsters.

You gotta try.

Ma! I'm not eating that thing.

Never mind the two
tails,
its got eyebrows.

You are so critical.
That's why you're not married.

Meanwhile, ma, what's with
this
big rash all over your chest?

Oh, look, its up here now.

I think its your father's beard.

I also got one on my calf,
my knee, my thigh, my--

All right. All right, ma.
Don't draw me a picture.

I think that you should
put on
some calamine lotion

and go soak
in a lukewarm tub.

-All right.
-Mwah.

-You didn't mean here, did
you?
-No.

Ms. Fine, I am very
proud of Brighton.

You know, he's been so
busy
with his science project

-he hasn't left his room
all day.
-Huh.

Now, you haven't helped
him,
have you?

Oh, believe me, I've been
no help to him at all.

Good. Here's a little bonus
in your paycheck this week.

Oh, thanks.

You know, I haven't helped him
with anything either.

What is your secret?

I keep telling you, Niles,

big hair and short skirts.

That's what got Mel Gibson
the Oscar.

What happened to telling
Mr. Sheffield the truth?

-Well, I decided to take
the road more traveled.
-[CHUCKLES]

Now, all I have to do is
get
Brighton an extension on
his

But I have never met a teacher
that I couldn't wrap around
my little pinkie.

-His teacher is a woman.
-Got any cash?

Oh, wow!

Mm, I'm getting
such a deja vu
here.

What is it?

Oh, here we go.

-Detention, honey?
-Yeah.

I was putting on
make-up in class.

Oh, you know,
you really shouldn't do
that.

-You're here to learn.
-Oh, I don't need school.

I'm gonna marry a doctor,
live in Great Neck,

right after my mother
moves to Boca.

How do you feel
about being a domestic?

Learn to love it, baby.

-Cute sweater.
-Oh, thanks.

-Where'd you get it?
-Oh, I got it at--

Oh, boy.

Uh, Mrs. Richardson?

You can go now, Francine.

Uh, about that little
incident
at Loehmann's

that was a big misunderstanding,

and I just wanted to
apologize
for what my twin sister
did.

All I wanted was a green sweater

to go with that damn skirt
I bought at a yard sale!

Well, now, let's just
put
all that behind us.

Hi. I'm Brighton
Sheffield's nanny

and I'm here to ask
for an extension
on his science
project.

What's that in your hand?

It's a fifty, but it's
in your hand now,
honey.

So you really want this
for Brighton, huh?

Oh, desperately.

How does it feel
to want something so bad
you can taste it,

feel it in your hand
and have someone yank it away?

It doesn't feel good.

Is that gum you're chewing
in my class?

No.

Put that on your nose.

Now, we'll just sit here
for a while, while you think
about your actions, miss.

How did she know I was a miss?

Oh, B, I got your teacher
to give you an extension.

Now, all you have to do
is come up
with a new science project.

Great. 'Cause I already got
one.
Check this out.

Ew! B, that's disgusting.

Genug
fruit already.

No. That's your
mother's back.

Ma, don't you think you should
give up on the lobster already?

Maybe they are
a little
suspicious.

I'll start on the ten pounds
of shrimp uncle Stanley
caught.

Well, do they look normal?

What they? It's one shrimp.

-Psst! Ms. Fine.
-What?

Where's Brighton?

He's upstairs
working on his science
project.

-Why?
-Oh, God, this is terrible.

I forgot to feed
Roger Clinton's cat today

and now the eggs
are missing out of the nest.

I'm afraid the cat
must have eaten them.

Why didn't
I think of
that?

You did. You warned me.

You know, you're right.

I did warn you.

But you didn't listen, did you?

I've ruined everything.
How could I be such a screw up?

Well, there's only one
thing
for you to do, mister.

Get your boots
and your sleeping bag.

What, you're sending me
to military school?

No. I just thought
we could have some
fun.

-Ms. Fine--
-Oh, calm down.

I'm sure I can get an
extension
from the teacher.

Now, we just have to come up
with a new idea for the kid.

There'll be a considerable
bonus
in it for you.

And good luck with the
teacher.
I hear she's pretty tough.

Oh, well, don't you
worry about her.

I'll take care
of everything.

-You already got
Brighton an extension.
-Oh, yeah.

How'd you do that?

Oh, Niles, I just
reasoned with the woman.

You can't argue with logic.

[KNOCKS]
Did you need me, sir?

MAXWELL'S VOICE:Run out to
Kennedy Airport, would you

and pick up Pavarotti.

Oh, you'd better leave now.

There's two lanes closed
on the LIE.

-It'll take you hours.
-Yes, sir.

[♪♪♪]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]