All language subtitles for The Nanny S03E10 Having His Baby 1080p WEB-DL DD2 0 H 264-squalor_track3_[eng]

Miss Fine, some mail came
for you.

A male? Well, who is he?

What does he look like?
Did you let him get
away?

Miss Fine, this kind
of mail.

Oh, well, I know him.

Bill.

Look at this,
something
from Danny.

Oh, my ex-fiancé's
baby
was born.

-Oh.
-Look at that head of hair.

Oh, my God, it's
not
his head.

Well, at least Danny
can be sure it's his.

Oh, Niles, you ever think
about
having a kid of your own,

someone that you could
take care of,

put to bed at night,

rub Vicks on his little
chest
when he's sick?

I already have one.

Isn't he adorable?

[SIGHING]

-Miss Fine, are you all
right?
-Oh, yeah.

I just thought that by this
age
I'd have a child of my own.

And maybe if I hadn't
dumped Danny,

this little Chia Pet
could have been mine.

Miss Fine, you still have
plenty
of time to have children.

Meanwhile, there's
an expiration date

stamped on my eggs,

"Best if used before you start
looking like your mother."

You know, he's
really
not so bad.

A lot of women like hairy men.
What's his name?

Let me see.

Uh-oh. Judy.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

SINGER:♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffields' door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl
we've described

♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪

Oh, Niles, look at this
little grooming set

that I put together
for Danny's baby.

It's got a little comb
and a little brush
and an Epilady junior.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Oh, I'm just so jealous.

You know, Miss
Fine,
I can't see why

this picture makes
you
yearn for a child.

I could see a Lhasa Apso.

Oh, stop, stop.
It's not nice.

Miss Fine, I don't think
I tell you often enough

what a wonderful
job
you're doing.

So, I've got a little gift
certificate here from Saks.

I want you to take the
afternoon
off and have a shopping spree.

-Somebody famous coming
over this afternoon?
-Uh-huh.

-Trying to get rid of me?
-Desperately.

Oh, are you still upset about
that Charlton Heston thing?

I mean, so I went for a lock
of his hair.

How was I to know the whole
thing would come off?

Please, Miss Fine.

It doesn't matter.
I'm very busy today.

I have to go buy my mother
a birthday present,

take Brighton
to the orthodontist,
get tights for Gracie,

-visit Grandma Yetta
at the home.
-Good.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

All of which I can do after
I meet the famous person.

[FRAN GASPS]

Oh, my God!

It's Monica Baker,
the movie star.

I just love you.

Well, then we
have
a lot in common.

I have followed
your entire
career.

Your affair with the
Baldwin brothers,

the Bridges,

and oh, I almost left out
the Sheen brothers.

I wish I had.

Fran, I'm asking Alison to
the Thanksgiving Day parade.

Does "Eat dirt and die"
mean no?

Oh, give me the phone.

Hi, Alison.

Yeah, I hear you're going
to the parade with Brad Pitt.

No?

Well, how about Johnny Depp?
No?

Well, honey, aren't you
just
being a little too cocky?

Uh-huh.

She's desperate. She'll go
out
with anyone.

-I love you.
-I love you more.

Did I mention that
I'm a famous movie
star

just standing
here
like a lump?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Come this way.

Cute son.

Oh, he's not my kid.
I'm the nanny.

If he were my son,
he'd have big hair

and be a lifetime member
of Weight Watchers.

I just left my baby,
Zack, with his nanny.

Oh, everybody has a baby.

Look, my ex-boyfriend Danny
and his wife just had one.

She's not breastfeeding,
though.

The kid's on a low-silicone
diet.

Oh, isn't it dangerous
to have that puppy
right on top of the
baby?

[MONICA GASPS]

I know. As much as
I wanna have a kid,

something tells me
I was better off

not dipping into
that gene pool.

-I went to a sperm bank.
-Wow!

Husbands just get in the
way
of dating, big time.

Oh. No.

I don't feel that way.

I want to marry a guy,
get pregnant,

and have someone to blame
for making me

swell and vomit
for nine months.

Well, I thought so, too,

but I decided that I
wanted
to have a baby

before I started
looking
like my mother.

Uh, about this sperm bank,
do they have an express line?

Well, it's really
quite simple.

For a donor, I chose
a rugged outdoorsman

with a passion for dirt biking
and fixing cars.

Oh, do they have
any Jewish guys?

Fran, are you sure this is
how
the pilgrims dressed?

Oh, honey,

I didn't get
enough
material.

So, they'll call her
the Mayflower Madam.

Look at you, sewing
kids' costumes.

Oh, you're gonna make
such a good mother.

Oh, thank you.

What do you think, baby?
Am I gonna be a good mommy?

Sure. It's easy.

"Darling, my happiness
isn't important,

but would it kill
you
to give me

one grandchild
before I die?"

"Morty, put the seat
down!
I almost fell in!"

Oh, my God.

That's the last time
I let
Ma baby-sit for her.

Fran, you know that
I will support

whatever you decide,

but don't you think people
would be a little shocked

if you just showed up
pregnant?

Yeah. They'd
think
I had a date.

You know, Val, to tell
you
the truth,

I don't really care
what people think
anymore.

I mean, I know that
I want to have a kid,

and I don't know if I'm ever
gonna meet Mr. Right.

Yeah, but artificial
insemination?

Well, that's how I got here,
'cause I know my parents
have never...

Look, I can't tell you what to
do. Your body's your own.

You got that right. 'Cause
if
anybody else was using it,

I wouldn't have to
order take-out.

-What do you think, Niles?
-Hmm?

Should I have a baby?

Miss Fine, pregnant.

I'm not sure the world is
ready
for you in a muumuu.

Oh, hey, this mama ain't
wearing no muumuu.

When that kid is born, you're
gonna be able to read

"Donna Karan Control Top"
across his little forehead.

You know, Fran, this isn't
gonna be easy.

There's gonna be a lot of pain
and suffering and possible
embarrassment.

Oh, you guys going to another
singles bar?

-No!
-No!

I'm talking about
the delivery.

I mean, how do they manage
to yank

a whole little human being
out of you?

[GRUNTING]

Well, it doesn't
have to be so
bad.

-I mean, if you get somebody
that's gentle and sensitive.
-Yeah.

Oh, come on, get out
of there. Just get...

This is such a weird
location
for a sperm bank,

right in the middle
of a shopping mall?

Oh, well, it used to be a, uh,
Siemen's Furniture Showroom.

So they only had to
change half the sign.

If you'd like to see profiles

of the gentlemen
who've contributed,

here's our donor menu.

-[GASPING]
-Oh, look at the selection.

Wow!

Boy, is everyone
in the menu,

or do you have, like,
a catch of the day?

Look at Number 64.

But he's got
a weight
problem,

gastrointestin
al
abnormalities,

and a mother who's
certifiably insane.

Right. Well, I want him
to fit in the family.

Do you see anything you like?

Hmm. Number 41 looks okay.

But, you know, I really need
another second.

I mean, it takes me
a half an hour

just to order from
the
Der
Wienerschnitzel.

No pun intended!

Maybe you'd like
to take this home?

You know, you're right.
It's a big decision.

Come on, Val.

We'll go to Hickory Farms next
door and fill up on samples.

[FRAN SCREAMING]
Oh, I'm so sorry!

Oh, Val, are you as
embarrassed as I... Val?

I just can't understand

why we're not as productive
as we were last year.

Profits are down, ticket sales
are down.

But some figures
are increasing.

Listen, Hazel...

oh, don't you have
something
to dust off?

How about the left side
of your bed?

I'll tell you why
we're not as productive.

Because the two of you
never shut up.

-You don't have to
get nasty about it.
-Well, excuse me for living.

Hi.

Knock. Knock. Mr. Sheffield,
can I talk to you a minute?

Actually, I don't have
the time.

I've always thought of you as
more than just an employer...

Miss Fine, I'm working.

-You know,
we're kind of like friends.
-Very busy.

Oh, why don't I
just
cut to the chase?

What would you say
if I told you

I wanted to have a baby?

Niles, hold my calls.

NILES:Why?

Mind your own bloody business.
It's private.

NILES:Sorry, sir.

So, go on, Miss Fine.

NILES:Now, we can hear them,
but they can't hear us.

Oh, maybe it's this one.

C.C.:No, no, no.
It's that one, you
jackass.

It's the red one.

All right. So, why
do you suddenly

want to have a baby?

I mean, where did this
come from?

Oh, I've been thinking
about this ever since

Samantha had Tabitha
onBewitched.

You know, I don't know
why
Darrin never let her use
her powers.

What? It was better sucking up
to Larry Tate for a raise?

I was always with
Endora on that one.

Miss Fine, how are you
gonna
have a baby without a man?

Mr. Sheffield,
it's the '90s.

If they can grow a human ear
on the back of a mouse,
I can have a baby.

All I need is a donor.

A...a donor?

You mean, someone that's
just gonna give you...

The fruit of his looms.

Well, who exactly do
you
have in mind?

Oh, I've picked
the perfect guy.

41. Tall, dark,
handsome, creative,

with a big head of hair.

So, what do you think?

Oh, well, uh, this is...

this is a big decision.

I'm, uh, gonna have to
give this some thought.

Well, I'm glad that you're
taking it seriously

because, you know,

I really value your input.

Oh, my God! What am
I gonna do?

What do you think, Niles?

Couldn't hear you,
sir.
Leaf blowing.

Perhaps it'd work better
if you switched it on.

[WHIRRING]

MAXWELL: Niles.

Help me.

Oh, darn it, man,
just get in here.

Don't do that, sir.

Don't we have enough
scary things roaming
around in the
corridors?

Look, it seems Miss
Fine
is determined

to go through
with
this baby thing.

I'm afraid she's gonna
ask me to, uh, assist.

Well, what makes you
so sure she wants you?

Oh, come on, man, she
practically spelled it
out.

She wants someone tall,
handsome, creative.

Did she also mention
cocky, vain,

couldn't get the laundry in
the
hamper if his life depended
on it?

-No.
-Then what are you
worried about?

I'm telling you,
she wants me.

She wants me real bad.

Niles, I'm gonna need your
help
in this.

All right. But there better
be
a damn big Christmas bonus

in my stocking.

All right. Now,
let's not panic.

All she needs is someone
to sit her down

and talk to her calmly
and rationally.

I'll kill her.

How could my own daughter
not tell me

that I am gonna be
an illegitimate
grandmother?

[SOBBING]

I know. I know.

Can I get you anything?

No. Nothing. Nothing.

Maybe lunch.

No fish!

Sylvia, I--I didn't
mean to alarm you.

I just thought
you should know.

The girl is a nut. She's
totally
lost her mind.

Who did she pick
to father this
kid?

I believe it's me.

You could do a lot worse.

Ma? What are you doing here?

Oh, I was just
in the neighborhood
catching up on the news,

like my unmarried
daughter's
gonna have a baby.

Ma, I can't plan my
life
around a husband.

It may never happen.

Well, I'm dead now.
Do what you want.

Sylvia.

Do you know what it's
like
for a child to grow up
without a father?

Yeah, Ma. I
haven't
seen Daddy

since Flushing got
wired
for cable.

He loves the Spice Channel.

And I'll tell you, he
has
learnt a few things.

-Sylvia.
-Ma.

Oh, fine, have a baby.

Do you know how long it takes
to get your figure back?

I don't know,
Ma.
32 years?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Darling, you don't know
what it's like to take care
of a little one.

You are used to
three grown kids

who don't even need you
anymore.

Ma, lay off. Get it?

As in lay off the unneeded
nanny.

They would be lost
without her.

SYLVIA: [GASPS] Oh, my God.
It's Monica Baker.

I can't tell you how many
people
meet me on the street

and swear that I am you.

Ma, that's
Tammy Faye Bakker.

Sit down. Sit down.

Monica, we're having brunch
with the Schuberts.

Why do you have your child
with you?

My nanny is sick.

And I couldn't
just leave him.

My poor little baby.

-Well, if you want,
I'd be happy to...
-Okay.

Hi.

Mommy loves you.

But the public loves Mommy.

So she has to go.

Hi, sweetie.

Oh, are we gonna have
a ball.

Of course, some people here

don't think that I
can
take care of a little
kid.

You like SpaghettiOs?

You know what? I'm full.

Here you go. Don't
drink
and drive, honey.

[TV PLAYING]

[SIGHING]

["FLINSTONES"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[SCREECHING]

Cootchie-cootchie-coo.

[SCREAMING]

-[SCREAMING]
-♪♪ Rock-a-bye baby ♪♪

♪♪ On the treetop ♪♪

♪♪ When the wind blows ♪♪

♪♪ The cradle will rock ♪♪

-♪♪ When the bough breaks ♪♪
-[SCREAMING]

♪♪ The cradle will fall ♪♪

[FAST] ♪♪ And down will come
baby cradle and... ♪♪

..all.
[SCREAMS]

Oh, I guess you just
want to sleep, huh?

All right. Good night,
little fellow.

Ohhhh.

You don't want me to go?

Well, I can sit here
and cuddle with you.

Okay.

[SHUSHING]

Let's go to sleep.

♪♪ Lullaby ♪♪

[SCREAMING]

Sorry.

[♪♪♪]

-Here you go.
-Thanks again, Fran.

I hope he wasn't
too much trouble.

Oh, no, not at all.

-Bye, Zacky.
-Bye.

Bye-bye.

Oh, isn't he cute?

You should have seen him
driving around

in his little car
all over the house.

Oh, by the way, you know
that ceramic vase

that's in the hallway?

Oh, you mean the Picasso.

Oh, isn't he cute?

You know, you look good
with a baby, Miss Fine.

Oh, thanks.

Well, you should
hire me as your nanny.

Pay me 500 bucks a week,
and I'll quit my old job.

I'll tell you, this
was the
greatest day of my
life.

Do you know that I taught
him
a new word?

Entenmann's.

So I suppose your mind is made
up about having a child?

Absolutely.

Yeah, I'm definitely not
gonna
have one right now.

What?

Yeah. You know, when I
put
little Zacky to sleep,

and he was lying
there
looking so precious,

I looked around, and there
was
no one to share it with.

I know what you mean,
Miss Fine.

Ohh.

Well, I'll tell you, I admire
women that do it on their own

but at the end of the day,
I want his daddy to come home

so I can put the baby
in his arms and say,

"Here, your turn.
I'm playing
Mahjong."

Well, I must
say
I am relieved.

Why? What have you
got to do with it?

Well, I, uh, you know...

you were gonna ask me to...

Wait a minute.

Do you think that I was gonna
ask you to be the father?

I most certainly did not.

And you could do worse.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,

are your feelings hurt
that I wasn't gonna ask you?

No.

Come on, you're my boss.
I'm your nanny.

What were you gonna do? Pay me
to take care of our kid?

Wait a minute. This could
work out.

No, no. It would be
too weird.

You know, if you want to have a
baby with me, Maxwell Sheffield,

you're just gonna have to do
it
the old-fashioned way.

Marry you?

Yeah, that, too.

[♪♪♪]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]