All language subtitles for The Nanny S03E01 The Pen Pal 1080p WEB-DL DD2 0 H 264-squalor_track3_[eng]

-Anything for the post
office?
-Here.

Miss Babcock's
corporate tax
returns

must be postmarked
by the 15th

or she'll face
substantial
penalties.

-Today's the 16th, Niles.
-What's your point?

Would you mail
this letter to Lenny?

You know, I can't
believe
you're still writing
to your first-grade pen

Why? Val wrote to hers
for a long time

until eventually he lost
his appeal.

She got tired of
writing him, huh?

No. He lost his appeal.

They fried him
at Leavenworth.

Here you go.

Miss Fine,
this is an Easter
Seal.

-Oh, they don't look.
-Oh.

FRAN: Ugh, something
smells rotten in here.

Or dead under the house.

Or... Maggie,
I love your new
perfume.

She's trying to attract
a guy.

Who, the Orkin Man?

Now, Brighton,
be nice to your sister.

Thank God
my new girlfriend
doesn't smell like that.

Oh, does she fold out
and thumbtack to the wall
like the last one?

Well, I think
it's just fabulous.

Now even you'll be
married before me.

Who is this little tramp
that's after
your father's money?

Well, her name's Veronica.

I leave notes for her
in third period,

she leaves them
for me in fourth.

We've had no physical contact
whatsoever.

Well, it's working
for Michael and Lisa Marie.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

SINGER:♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffield's
door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more
♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny!
♪♪

♪♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we've described ♪♪

♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually
smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red
when everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪

[TV PLAYING]

Oh, Autumn, what are you
doing?

You're throwing
your life away.

And for what?
Thatschmendrick

Oh, this isn't even my soap.

Oh, Summer, what are you doing?

Throwing your life away.

Oh, Nanny Fine.

How can you watch
those soaps?

-[SHUSHING]
-The plots are so ridi...

what's going on?

Well, she is hopelessly in
love
with her business partner,

only he doesn't
even know she
exists.

What a loser.

Hello, Maxwell.

Maxwell!

Oh, I'm sorry, C.C.
I didn't notice you there.

So what's gonna happen?
Is she going to get this guy

or bash his British head in
or what?

Well, he asked her
to work late
tonight,

and she's going
to
seduce him.

So we'll find out
what happens tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

This is a soap.

We'll be lucky if
six months from now

that coffee she's
making
is ready.

Oh, C.C., what are you doing
Saturday night?

Oh, my cousin Gee Gee
needs a transfusion,

and my blood type
is the...why?

Never mind. I just thought
we could do some work,

-but under the circumstances,
with your cousin...
-Oh, what's the rush?

I mean, they gave
her
six months.

You know, if she were Jewish,
her last name would be
Iceberg.

Oh, lookee here.

Another letter from that
pen pal of yours.

Do I detect a strong,
hideous cologne?

Yeah, your daughter just left.

But on the bright
side,
no more silverfish.

Oh, Lenny.

[EXCLAIMING]

-Oh, stop doing that.
-What?

Whenever you get
a letter from Lenny,

you make that
ridiculous grin.

No, I don't.

You know, you never did tell me
what this Lenny chap looks like.

Oh, I have no idea.

We vowed never
to exchange photographs,

which is probably
why he stood by me

through my fatal attraction
with Ben and Jerry.

Yes. I've seen those
pictures at your mother's.

Listen, Mr. Smarty Feldman,

he who wore a plaid skirt
to his high school
graduation

should not throw stones.

It was a kilt.

You say potato.

Oh, no, I'm nauseous!

What, Lenny broke
the no-photo rule?

No. He's coming
to New York,

and he wants
to meet me for dinner
at the Russian Tea Room.

The Russian Tea Rooms
are bad because waiters

dressed as Cossacks
give you the creeps? What?

No. I'm afraid to meet
Lenny because, well...

Over the years,
I might have
stretched
the truth a little

For instance?

Oh, things.

[STAR-SPANGLED BANNER PLAYING]

Oh, cheer up, FloJo.
Silver goes with everything.

Are you out of your mind?

What, no good?

You wouldn't believe
I'm the fastest
woman
on Earth?

In that outfit I would.

You like?

'Cause I did kind
of
tell him

that I was also a little
more
popular than I am.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Yes, sir!

-You know...
-Oh, what a great audience.

Thank you!

You know, to me...

To me nothing says
debutante

like a leopard-skin
cocktail dress.

What, no Oprah?

I don't do daytime.

Miss Fine, whatever possessed
you to make up all these
things?

What is it you're always
telling the children?

Don't wear white
shoes
after Labor Day?

All right, what is it I'm
always
telling the children?

Miss Fine works too
hard.
We should send her
to Club Med.

No. To tell the truth.

Oy, I think I told him
I was on that show,
too.

Oh, mayday, Fran.

Veronica stayed after
school
so she could meet me.

And that's
it.
It's over.

Oh, what happened?

Well, I wrote to
her
and told her I
look

and I don't.

B, you made up some
cock-and-bull story

just to make yourself
seem better?

I'm so surprised at you.

What? I said I was
surprised at him.

I had to lie to Lenny.

A guy like that's not
gonna
be interested in me

without the
Olympics,
Letterman, and...

my career.

You told him
you were a nanny?

Close.

[THEME FROM 2001:
A SPACE ODYSSEY PLAYING]

Houston, we have a problem.

Oh, Niles, I thought I
might
as well give Miss Fine

a lift to the Tea Rooms.

I'm going out anyway.
Got to drop by my...

My, um, attorney's.

Your attorney is nowhere near
the Russian Tea Room.

Then I'll get a new one.

Same place I'll
get
a butler.

Admit it, sir.

You're dying to get a look
at this Leonard fellow.

Oh, Niles, as usual, you
are
way off the mark.

Do you think he still
has
all his hair?

Oh, no, sir.

You're the fairest
of them all.

Where is Miss Fine anyway?

Oh, she's upstairs
getting allfarpitzed.

What does that mean?

You know, dressed.

I thought
that was
farblondzhet.

No, sir,
that means confused.

No, man, that'sfarkatke.

Well, then,
what'sfarshimmelt?

I think
that's her
uncle.

Oh, Miss Fine,
you look beautiful.

Oh, yeah,
but I'm all
farshvitzt.

Oh, what am I so
afraid of anyway?

So I told Lenny
that I'm a little
more
sophisticated

than I really am.

Oh, God. Please let
that be an eyelash.

Yeah, it was.

Tell me the truth.

If you were
expecting
Grace Kelly,

and I showed up,
you wouldn't be
disappointed,
right?

-Literally Grace Kelly?
-Yeah.

Well, yes.

I believe youfarkatked

FRAN: Oh, forget
it.
I'm not going.

Oh, Miss Fine, what, so for
the next 20 years,

I have to hear about this
wonderful man you never met?

You are going.

As a matter of fact...

You're going to take her
yourself.

I'm going to take you myself...

Even though it's
nowhere
near your attorney.

Even though it's
nowhere
near my...

Anyway, you're going
to
meet this Lenny fellow
face to face

so you can see that he
is
no better than I am.

-You are.
-Would you please?

You are.

All right, let's go.

Wait, wait.

Oh, I know. I'll tell him
I couldn't come,

because Miss America
could not fulfill her
duties

and I had to jump in.
That's good, that's
good.

No, you wrote that to him
in your last letter.

A million Rosa Lopezes
in the world,

and we got to end up
with a domestic with
total recall.

Hello, hello.

Ready to work?

Maxwell?

I'll be back in a
while,
C.C.

Can you start without me?

She can, and she has.

Come along, Miss Fine.

There's no reason
to be so
trepidatious.

Well, I can't help it.
I'm nervous.

Oh, what if he's not as
accepting of me as you are?

I mean, you've seen me
at my absolute worst.

Yes, I have.

When?

No, I just mean
your
absolute worst

is absolutely lovely.

You know, there's a
pooper-scooper law in this
city.

Come along.

Oh, I'm going. I'm going.

Quit pushing. Quit pushing.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield!

Oh, Mr. Sheffield, it's very
sweet of you

to sit with me until Lenny
comes, but it isn't necessary.

I'm a grown woman. I can
handle myself.

Hello, girl sweet as pudding.

Uh, you know, my wife
was pissed,

but I felt trapped
in my old body.

Forget it, Miss Fine.
I'm not going
anywhere.

Would you care
for an
aperitif?

No, I'll just do a little
before-dinner drink.

Two champagne cocktails,
please.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield.

Buying drinks, how classy.

Boy, me and Val usually just
sit
at the bar

and wait for the guys
next to us to go
to the bathroom,

and then we take theirs.

You'd drink someone
else's
drink?

No! We just hold it.

Well, you got to have a drink

to get into the free
happy-hour buffet.

Don't you ever go out?

Actually, I'll have you know

I was quite the
Jack-the-lad in my
day.

Oh, well, that's okay.

Everybody goes through
a curiosity phase.

Oh, thanks.

Ah, just in time.

Oh, I don't know why
I'm so worried about
meeting Lenny anyway.

I mean, at least I'm not
that broad over there.

Would you look at her?

Desperate look in her eyes,

boozing it up.

Oh, my God! It's me!

Maxwell,
darling,
is that you?

Shh. Don't turn around.

I'm yours.

Tell me what you want me
to do.

[WHISPERING] Cluck
like a chicken.

What?

It turns me on.

[IMITATING HEN CLUCKING]

[SCREAMING]

Mr. Sheffield's been delayed.

Did you think I was him?

If you tell
anyone about this...

Oh, I'd never do that.

We need the eggs.

Oh, I'll tell you,
I feel so out of place here.

I can't remember
the last time

I sat on a barstool
waiting to meet a guy.

I thought you went
out
last night with Val.

Oh, yeah. That's when
it was.

Oh, would you look at those
two
chippies over there

checking you out?

You know, Mr. Sheffield,
you're not tied to me.

I mean, if you want
to work the room...

No. If I get up, you
might
take my drink.

Touche.

You are sosuave bola.

I bet you got some sure-fire
pickup lines.

Well, the first one's simply,

"Maxwell Sheffield,
Broadway producer."

What's the second one?

"How do you like your eggs?"

[EXCLAIMING]

Mr. Sheffield!

I wonder what's keeping Lenny.

Lenny who? Oh.

He's half-an-hour late.

The suspense must be
killing you.

Huh? Oh, I'm sorry.

I was just thinking how nice
it is to get out,

you know, without the kids.

Maybe it's time we thought
about hiring someone
to take care of...oh.

Yes, Miss Fine,

I've often thought of
hiring a nanny myself.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, you know, Mr. Sheffield,
I have a little confession
to make.

I'm having such a great time
just sitting here with you,

I don't even care
if Lenny is a no-show.

There he is,

and he's gorgeous.
Go home.

Wait. Miss Fine, how do you
even
know that's him?

Well, we both agreed
to wear a red rose.

He's turning around.

Boy, coming and
going,
it's still good.

Well, I suppose he's all right,

if you go for that dark,
Mediterranean,

well-muscled-from-the-docks
type.

What, are you jealous?

Well, I admit, I wish I could
lift a crate

of rear-projection
television sets,

but unfortunately, I have to
hire people to do that.

Hi, it's me!

Hi.

Well, don't be shy.

Give me a kiss.

Maxwell Sheffield.

David Stavros.

Who?

You're not Lenny?

Well, what are you
wearing
a red rose for?

I'm with the band.

You have some hell
of a nerve!

Now, kiss me goodnight
and get out of here.

Uh, Miss Fine!

Oh, all right.

Here. Jot your number
down on this napkin.

Now get lost.

What do you say?
You want to give this Lenny
another half-an-hour?

Oh, no way.
The guy stood me up.

Boy, you'd think that he
would
want to meet

the first millionaire
woman
astronaut who opened
for Streisand.

Perhaps your
letters
intimidated him.

Yeah, well, if he can't
handle a strong woman...

Excuse me, ma'am.
This was left for
you.

Oh.

Oh, it's from Lenny.

"Dear Fran, this
is
my last letter.

When I came in and saw you
with that great-looking
guy,

I knew I could
never
compete with him."

Oh, Miss Fine,
I--I feel terrible.

You?

What were the odds
of Lenny walking in

just when I was in the
arms
of David?

Niles, I don't make it a
habit
of drinking with the
help.

I've never been
any help to you.

Exactly.

So, tell me, Rochester,

what did you do to kill a
day
before I came along?

Well, truth be told, my life
was a little empty.

But now I have a hobby.

I loathe you.

I despise you.

Servant.

Trollop.

Bellboy.

Brunette.

Good night, Maxwell,
Fanny Nine.

Swine.

Chicken.

Good night, people.

Miss Fine, how much did I
have
to drink this evening?

Not as much as them.

I suppose when two people
spend as much time

around each other
as those two,

something like this
is bound to happen.

Yeah, I suppose it's inevitable.

Are you...

are you thinking
what I'm
thinking?

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking about...

taking a shower
and going to
bed.

What a coincidence.

I'm going to bed thinking
about you taking a shower.

[♪♪♪]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]