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1
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,416
Niles.
Hm?
2
00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:13,000
Brighton says my uniform
makes me look like a dork.
3
00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:14,366
I wear a uniform.
Do I look like a dork?
4
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,150
Remember what happened
to Gretel.
5
00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:28,116
I see we've customized
our Red Robin uniform.
6
00:00:28,150 --> 00:00:31,830
Believe me, you sell
more cookies my way.
7
00:00:31,116 --> 00:00:33,416
Does anybody know
what today is?
8
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,330
Another one of your
colorful holidays
involving plagues?
9
00:00:36,660 --> 00:00:38,266
Hey, don't knock
the Jewish holidays.
10
00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:41,266
They get you out of
more school than mono.
11
00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:44,100
No, one year ago today
was the day
12
00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:46,383
that Danny dumped me
for Heather Biblow,
13
00:00:46,416 --> 00:00:49,116
which would make
one year ago tomorrow
14
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,100
the day that Heather found
Nair in her Pert Plus...
15
00:00:53,483 --> 00:00:55,166
which would make Friday
the day
16
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,233
that she bought her first
Eva Gabor wig.
17
00:01:00,133 --> 00:01:01,466
Grab the wheel, Miss
Fine.
You're swerving.
18
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,283
Oh. Sorry.
19
00:01:04,316 --> 00:01:06,166
Which would make Saturday
the first anniversary
20
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,316
of the day that I started
to work here.
21
00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:10,216
Oh, it seems
like
only yesterday
22
00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:11,283
when you called
the Orkin Man
23
00:01:11,316 --> 00:01:12,400
when I served escargots.
24
00:01:12,433 --> 00:01:14,433
[CHUCKLES]
25
00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:16,660
I don't care
how rich you are.
26
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,250
You don't eat something
27
00:01:17,283 --> 00:01:20,333
that leaves a trail of slime
behind it.
28
00:01:20,366 --> 00:01:22,400
Oh, don't you look adorable
in that uniform.
29
00:01:22,433 --> 00:01:25,830
Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
30
00:01:25,116 --> 00:01:26,383
I was talking to Grace,
Miss Fine.
31
00:01:26,416 --> 00:01:29,660
Oh.
- But you do look--
32
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,330
Well, I know Red
Robins
are always prepared,
33
00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:33,116
but for what?
34
00:01:33,150 --> 00:01:35,166
Well, you're just gonna
have to earn a merit badge
35
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,450
to find out.
Hm.
36
00:01:37,483 --> 00:01:39,183
It was very sweet
of you to
volunteer
37
00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:40,350
to be Grace's troop
mother,
Miss Fine.
38
00:01:40,383 --> 00:01:43,200
Oh, my pleasure.
39
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:45,500
That's the last time I ever
scratch my armpit in public.
40
00:01:50,433 --> 00:01:52,450
Miss Fine, will you
be
free Saturday night?
41
00:01:52,483 --> 00:01:55,450
Saturday? Why?
42
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:57,250
Well, I'd rather
not discuss it.
43
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,133
I just want to be
sure
you can be here.
44
00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:02,133
I'm all yours,
and I have been for a
year.
45
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,233
Oh, I can't believe
he remembered.
46
00:02:06,266 --> 00:02:08,366
Is he a doll or what?
47
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,483
You know, if he asks,
I don't expect anything--
48
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:10,383
Size five.
49
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:16,233
I have never felt
so wanted or appreciated--
50
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:17,100
Bloomingdale's,
3rd floor.
51
00:02:19,483 --> 00:02:21,216
Well, I just hope
he doesn't go overboard--
52
00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:22,660
Diamonds are forever.
53
00:02:24,116 --> 00:02:27,250
[THEME SONG PLAYS]
54
00:02:27,283 --> 00:02:28,333
♪ She was workin'
In a bridal shop ♪
55
00:02:28,366 --> 00:02:30,830
♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
56
00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:31,250
♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪
57
00:02:31,283 --> 00:02:33,660
♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪
58
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:34,416
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
59
00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:37,433
♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
60
00:02:37,466 --> 00:02:39,266
♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪
61
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:41,150
♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪
62
00:02:41,183 --> 00:02:43,300
♪ She was there to sell makeup ♪
But the father saw more ♪
63
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:45,316
♪ She had style, she had flair,
She was there ♪
64
00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:49,266
♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪
65
00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:52,350
♪ Who would've guessed
That the girl we described ♪
66
00:02:52,383 --> 00:02:54,233
♪ Was just exactly what
The doctor prescribed? ♪
67
00:02:54,266 --> 00:02:55,300
♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪
68
00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:57,330
♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
69
00:02:57,660 --> 00:02:58,183
♪ And the kids
Sre actually smiling ♪
70
00:02:58,216 --> 00:02:59,316
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
71
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,100
♪ She's the lady in red ♪
72
00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:05,383
♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪
73
00:03:05,416 --> 00:03:07,216
♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪
74
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:07,450
♪ The nanny named Fran ♪
75
00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:18,160
Okay, Red Robins,
now survival tips.
76
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:19,383
Listen closely,
'cause the proper knot
77
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,116
can save your life.
78
00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:23,233
You're in the woods,
you look around.
79
00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:24,150
All of a sudden
you squish a bug...
80
00:03:24,183 --> 00:03:25,316
right here.
81
00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:27,150
[GIRLS GROANING]
- Disgusting!
82
00:03:27,183 --> 00:03:29,116
Well, the proper slipknot
83
00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:33,133
not only can conceal
those unwanted bug guts,
84
00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:35,300
but it also creates
a flattering neckline
85
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:36,316
and gives the illusion
of cleavage.
86
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:42,133
You're a born
leader,
Miss Fine.
87
00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:44,200
Well, you know, I was leader
of my Weight Watchers group.
88
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:46,500
You had a weight problem?
89
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:48,830
Oh, yeah. I once woke up
with a Milky Way in my mouth.
90
00:03:48,116 --> 00:03:48,433
I still don't know
how it got there.
91
00:03:51,266 --> 00:03:53,500
Where you goin'?
92
00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:54,466
We're going to Macy's to
buy
a present for--
93
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:55,416
Someone.
Not you.
94
00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:58,250
Yeah, for my friend...
95
00:03:58,283 --> 00:04:00,160
Mark.
96
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,416
Oh, Mark. What are you
gettin' him?
97
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,183
Chanel No. 5.
98
00:04:05,133 --> 00:04:07,133
Oh, well,
perhapsMark
99
00:04:07,166 --> 00:04:08,433
a lighter,
more floral scent--
100
00:04:08,466 --> 00:04:10,160
Jean Naté,L'Air du Temps.
101
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,216
But...
102
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:13,150
it's the thought
that counts.
103
00:04:13,183 --> 00:04:13,250
[MUTTERS]
Take your father's
credit card.
104
00:04:17,116 --> 00:04:18,350
Okay, ladies.
105
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,450
Now, today's field trip,
106
00:04:20,483 --> 00:04:24,233
we're going to my grandma's
retirement home,
107
00:04:24,266 --> 00:04:28,250
and you're each going to adopt
your very own grandma.
108
00:04:28,283 --> 00:04:30,150
What's the pink tissue for?
109
00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:32,266
Oh, give that to your grandma.
110
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:34,283
It makes a lovely wrist
and brassiere strap ornament.
111
00:04:39,466 --> 00:04:42,116
Nanny Fine, you are
not going to make
112
00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:44,133
those decrepit
old ladies feel any younger
113
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:47,333
by bringing in these vibrant,
wrinkle-free girls.
114
00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:48,250
This is notCocoon.
115
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,466
Well, how would you feel if
you were alone and forgotten,
116
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:54,433
without any friends?
117
00:04:56,183 --> 00:04:57,300
Oh, bad example.
118
00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:04,200
I know when I'm old, I'd
rather be in a dark room
119
00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:06,116
with the drapes
drawn,
the mirrors covered
120
00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:07,233
and a really big
bottle
of NyQuil.
121
00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:11,266
Not me.
122
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:14,433
I'm gonna be
a platinum-blond prune
down in Miami,
123
00:05:14,466 --> 00:05:16,366
just pulling up my tube top
124
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,116
and cha-cha-cha-in'
with the cabana boys.
125
00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:22,316
I'd rather die young.
126
00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:23,333
And we're all
pulling for
you.
127
00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:33,160
We don't go young
in my family.
128
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,416
No, we Fines like
to linger
129
00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:35,466
and be a burden
to others
130
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:36,366
for as long
as possible.
131
00:05:42,350 --> 00:05:44,316
FRAN:
Okay, Red Robins,
132
00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:46,433
now, remember your manners -
no loud noises,
133
00:05:46,466 --> 00:05:48,183
and whatever you do,
don't unplug anything.
134
00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:52,433
Cupcakes, tissues -
okay, go find your grandmas
135
00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:53,266
and introduce yourselves.
136
00:05:54,433 --> 00:05:56,116
Hi, Grandma Yetta.
137
00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:58,466
Mwah!
138
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,660
Boy, are you a big Robin.
139
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,300
What, were you left back?
140
00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:04,366
Yetta, it's Fran.
141
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,366
Fran?
142
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,350
Where's Kukla and Ollie?
143
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,500
Yetta, if you're
gonna
live in the past,
144
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,316
pick the Renaissance.
145
00:06:15,316 --> 00:06:17,500
Why didn't you sign
up
for a Red Robin
146
00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:18,183
like everybody else?
147
00:06:18,216 --> 00:06:19,183
I'm not a joiner.
148
00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:23,133
Look at them,
staring atJeopardy!
149
00:06:23,166 --> 00:06:24,830
like they know...
-[BELL DINGS ON TV]
150
00:06:24,116 --> 00:06:25,400
...European monarchs for 500.
151
00:06:28,416 --> 00:06:29,433
Most of them can't remember
their room number.
152
00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:34,366
Oh, Gracie, honey,
153
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,200
why aren't you
talking
to your new grandma?
154
00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:38,233
Mrs. Kramer wasn't
in her room.
155
00:06:38,266 --> 00:06:40,200
They said she checked out.
156
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,830
Maybe she moved
to Florida.
157
00:06:42,116 --> 00:06:43,316
No, they said
she bought a farm.
158
00:06:46,483 --> 00:06:48,300
Farm? The woman couldn't
grow a wart.
159
00:06:51,433 --> 00:06:54,383
Well, maybe she was going to
the well tokick the bucket.
160
00:06:54,416 --> 00:06:57,150
Oh, you don't have to
paint me a picture.
161
00:07:00,233 --> 00:07:02,366
Gracie, sweetie, the
grandma
that was assigned to you
162
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,233
passed away.
163
00:07:04,266 --> 00:07:07,160
Oh. Can I eat
her cupcake?
164
00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:10,233
Sure, sweetie.
165
00:07:10,266 --> 00:07:12,000
Kids are so resilient.
166
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:13,416
Honey, I'm so sorry.
167
00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:16,400
You were definitely
supposed to get a live
one.
168
00:07:16,433 --> 00:07:19,166
Fran, Kramer's room
was on a corner.
169
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,500
That's cross-ventilation,
Yetta.
170
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,333
Has anyone moved in yet?
171
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,133
ALL:
Bye.
172
00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:33,250
Bye, my beautiful
Red Robins.
173
00:07:33,283 --> 00:07:36,216
Fly. Fly.
174
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:37,366
Fly...
175
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:39,483
the hell outta here.
176
00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:46,100
I am guessing the field
trip
was less than a total
success,
177
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,350
considering there was
a body count.
178
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,416
[HIGH-PITCHED GROAN]
179
00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:52,216
Fran, I don't wanna be
a Red Robin anymore.
180
00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,300
Oh, come on, honey.
181
00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:56,200
One old lady dies on you
182
00:07:56,233 --> 00:07:57,383
and you're already turned off
183
00:07:57,416 --> 00:07:59,266
to the whole Red Robin
experience?
184
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:02,166
[DOORBELL DINGS]
185
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,283
[SHOUTS]
I'll get it.
186
00:08:04,316 --> 00:08:07,233
Sit down and relax.
We'll watchCourt TV.
187
00:08:07,266 --> 00:08:08,216
Uh, who's on?
188
00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:10,830
The Menendez boys.
189
00:08:10,116 --> 00:08:11,183
They're back for
a second season.
190
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,133
Hello, I'm Mrs.
Livingston,
Heather's mother.
191
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:20,250
Oh, come in.
192
00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:22,133
Is that Heather
with the
freckles
193
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:25,830
or Heather
with the extra
pinkie?
194
00:08:25,116 --> 00:08:29,830
Oh, it's a real treat
watching her sip tea.
195
00:08:29,116 --> 00:08:30,366
Miss Fine,
this is a little awkward.
196
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,830
We're making a change
in our domestic staff,
197
00:08:33,116 --> 00:08:36,233
and the kids all say such great
things about the Sheffield home.
198
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,350
Well, in the short
year
that I've been here,
199
00:08:39,383 --> 00:08:42,233
I have added a certain
element of style
200
00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:44,400
and panache to this house.
201
00:08:44,433 --> 00:08:46,330
Hm. When did I eat corn?
202
00:08:48,433 --> 00:08:51,183
Miss Fine,
let me finish.
203
00:08:51,216 --> 00:08:54,660
No, it's very flattering,
but I can't even consider it.
204
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,660
Even if you doubled my salary
205
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,500
and offered me
an El Dorado
206
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,416
in the Bill Blass
color scheme...
207
00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:02,160
I'd have to turn you down.
208
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,660
Who'd pay the insurance?
209
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:07,660
Not you, Miss
Fine.
Niles.
210
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,466
Niles would pay
my insurance?
211
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,830
No, we want Niles.
212
00:09:13,116 --> 00:09:15,233
Could you just find out
for us if he's happy
here?
213
00:09:15,266 --> 00:09:19,216
Oh. Well, what is it,
that fancy English accent?
214
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,160
'Cause, if I wanted to, I
could
talk with an accent too.
215
00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:32,100
What was wrong with the blouse
I picked out for Fran?
216
00:09:32,133 --> 00:09:34,450
Oh, no. It was cheap
and incredibly tacky.
217
00:09:34,483 --> 00:09:35,416
You could see
right through
it.
218
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:38,466
And what's the downside
of that?
219
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,500
I wanna get her something
she doesn't already have.
220
00:09:42,183 --> 00:09:44,100
Hi, kids.
221
00:09:44,133 --> 00:09:45,450
Fran, if you were...
222
00:09:45,483 --> 00:09:48,500
Uh...
Mark?
223
00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:50,383
BOTH:
Yeah, Mark.
224
00:09:50,416 --> 00:09:53,160
Um, would you like
a pair of earrings?
225
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:56,100
Oh, I think Mark
would love the
earrings.
226
00:09:56,133 --> 00:09:58,150
Just make sure
they're
clip-ons.
227
00:09:58,183 --> 00:10:00,216
Mark doesn't have
pierced ears?
228
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:01,466
No, his lobes
are too fatty.
229
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:02,366
It runs
in his
family.
230
00:10:06,216 --> 00:10:09,283
[KNOCKING]
Mr. Sheffield, I
hope
I'm not bothering
231
00:10:09,316 --> 00:10:10,483
like you're talking to
some caterer about
something--
232
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:11,416
Shrimp
cocktail,
rumaki.
233
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,116
Miss Fine, we're in a bit
of a crunch here.
234
00:10:15,150 --> 00:10:16,216
Do you have anything to say
235
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,000
that's even remotely
comprehensible?
236
00:10:18,330 --> 00:10:19,400
Oh, all right, all right.
237
00:10:19,433 --> 00:10:20,300
But I did want to tell
you
this in private.
238
00:10:21,433 --> 00:10:24,330
Follow my eyes?
239
00:10:24,660 --> 00:10:25,000
What, you don't want to talk
in front of the lamp?
240
00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:28,400
Wha--?
Oh, Niles!
241
00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:30,300
Oh, you can speak freely
in front of him.
242
00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:32,183
We have no secrets
in this house.
243
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:33,300
That's because he listens
at the door.
244
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,330
How else would I hear you
scratching to get back in?
245
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:46,300
Well, someone is
trying
to hire away
246
00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:50,000
one of your most
valued
domestic employees.
247
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:53,000
Niles?
- Well, I didn't say that,
but, yeah, Niles.
248
00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:54,433
How'd you guess?
249
00:10:54,466 --> 00:10:56,233
Well, scarcely a day goes by
250
00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:57,300
when I don't
get a telephone call
251
00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:59,660
requesting Niles.
252
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,500
An employee of his skills
and breeding
253
00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:02,300
is always in demand.
254
00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:03,233
I'm hot.
255
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:08,416
Well, next time you get
one of those calls for
me,
256
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:10,200
you just tell them
I'm not interested.
257
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:11,483
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
258
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,483
Wi-- will do, Miss Fine.
[NILES CHUCKLES]
259
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,150
What's so funny?
- Uh, uh, nothing.
260
00:11:18,183 --> 00:11:20,283
No one ever calls for me?
261
00:11:20,316 --> 00:11:22,183
Well, actually,
there was one.
262
00:11:22,216 --> 00:11:24,483
See?
Your mother.
263
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:29,250
Um, "Clairol's, uh, Loving
Care
gives better coverage."
264
00:11:29,283 --> 00:11:30,830
What's she telling
me
that for?
265
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:35,330
Nanny Fine,
I don't want to be
rude--
266
00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:36,333
Hmm, since when?
You're right.
267
00:11:36,366 --> 00:11:38,450
Get out.
268
00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,166
We need to talk
about Saturday
night.
269
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,150
What time do you want me here?
- She's coming?
270
00:11:42,183 --> 00:11:45,330
Oh, we're gonna have to
talk
about this guest list.
271
00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:46,333
Well, of course
Miss Babcock's coming.
272
00:11:46,366 --> 00:11:48,150
She made all the arrangements.
273
00:11:48,183 --> 00:11:51,450
Oh, boy, did I have
you
pegged all wrong.
274
00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:53,250
Isn't it the
people
you hate on
sight
275
00:11:53,283 --> 00:11:54,266
that become
your lifelong friends.
276
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:56,383
Not always.
277
00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:00,383
Maxwell, the limousine
will pick us up
278
00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:01,450
at the airport
in Washington.
279
00:12:01,483 --> 00:12:03,416
Mm-hm.
Washington?
280
00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:06,333
Yes, well, you may
as well know,
281
00:12:06,366 --> 00:12:08,450
the Center for Performing Arts
has nominated us
282
00:12:08,483 --> 00:12:10,483
for its highest award.
283
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,350
Is that what you wanted me
for
on Saturday night,
284
00:12:13,383 --> 00:12:15,333
to babysit?
285
00:12:15,366 --> 00:12:16,450
No, we wanted you
to fly the jet.
286
00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:22,116
Miss Fine, I didn't say
anything to you before
287
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:24,366
about the nomination
because,
mm, bad luck, you know.
288
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,500
We've been overlooked
so many times before.
289
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,500
You've been
overlooked?
290
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:30,183
Is there a
problem,
Miss Fine?
291
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:31,450
D-do you have plans
Saturday night?
292
00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:34,330
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna heat up
a Lean Cuisine
293
00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:35,450
and see what kind
of frontiermishegaas
294
00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:37,000
Dr. Quinn
has gotten herself
into.
295
00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:53,350
Gracie, you're gonna love
your new grandma, Mrs. Klein.
296
00:12:53,383 --> 00:12:56,166
Now, do you remember
what I told you to ask her?
297
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,500
Is she related to Calvin,
and can we get a discount?
298
00:12:59,316 --> 00:13:00,350
Excellent.
299
00:13:00,383 --> 00:13:02,250
Good morning.
300
00:13:02,283 --> 00:13:03,450
How are you two ladies
doing today?
301
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,133
Fine, Daddy.
302
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:07,100
[MUTTERS] Yeah, been better.
303
00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:09,100
Is everything...
everything all right,
Miss Fine?
304
00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:12,500
[MUMBLES NONSENSE WORDS]
305
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:14,166
Miss Fine, is there something
bothering you?
306
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,383
No, what could possibly
be bothering me?
307
00:13:16,416 --> 00:13:18,400
[UNDER BREATH]
I'm a fool and a laughing
stock.
308
00:13:18,433 --> 00:13:22,133
I beg your pardon?
- N-nothing.
309
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:24,266
Miss Fine, you've barely
spoken
a word to me in 12 hours.
310
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:26,383
It's beginning to scare me.
311
00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:29,166
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
312
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,150
[UNDER BREATH]
I invited my mother.
I'll never hear the end of it.
313
00:13:30,183 --> 00:13:31,350
Come on, Gracie.
314
00:13:31,383 --> 00:13:33,383
Miss Fine, you are not leaving
this house
315
00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:35,100
until I know why you're
so upset with me.
316
00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:37,300
I'm not upset with you.
317
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:40,330
You're the best boss
anyone could possibly ask for.
318
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:50,350
[UNDER BREATH]
Eat tripe and die.
319
00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:54,160
Now, Gracie, I had Mrs.
Klein
thoroughly checked out.
320
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,483
She's cute, she's sweet,
and she's healthy as a
horse.
321
00:14:00,433 --> 00:14:03,233
You know, she holds
the retirement home record
322
00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:05,660
for most reps
on the thigh burner...
323
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,216
one.
324
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,483
Oh, Grandma Yetta!
325
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,200
We're here
to introduce Gracie
326
00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:16,500
to her new grandma,
Mrs. Klein.
327
00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:17,216
Oh, yeah?
328
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:18,383
Well, if you
want to talk to her,
329
00:14:18,416 --> 00:14:19,333
you're gonna need
a Ouija board.
330
00:14:22,266 --> 00:14:23,433
She never should have gone
for that second rep.
331
00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:28,116
Another one?
332
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:31,116
What if it's me?
What if I'm a
jinx?
333
00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:33,183
Oh, no, honey.
334
00:14:33,216 --> 00:14:36,216
Now, that
is just ridiculous.
335
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,450
There's no such thing.
336
00:14:37,483 --> 00:14:38,216
Toi, toi.
337
00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:43,660
People here
are old and sick.
338
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,400
They can go at any
time,
in the next minute.
339
00:14:45,433 --> 00:14:47,166
Would you go
cheer somebody else up.
340
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:52,150
Sweetie, you're
an adorable little
girl,
341
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,300
and anyone would love to
be
your grandma, right?
342
00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:04,166
You're not a jinx!
343
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,000
And just to prove it
to you,
344
00:15:06,330 --> 00:15:08,150
I'm gonna give you
my very own grandma.
345
00:15:09,383 --> 00:15:10,150
Yetta!
346
00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:13,483
Damn crepe soles
stick like gum.
347
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:20,183
Honey, I'd love to be
your grandma.
348
00:15:21,433 --> 00:15:22,366
I've lived a good life.
349
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,433
So then she said
that Heather was a liar,
350
00:15:28,466 --> 00:15:29,350
so thenHeather
351
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:32,250
No, wait...
352
00:15:32,283 --> 00:15:34,660
Oh, yeah.
353
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,350
No, wait...
O-oh, yeah.
354
00:15:36,383 --> 00:15:37,216
Let's start again.
355
00:15:39,233 --> 00:15:41,100
See, honey, you're not a jinx
356
00:15:41,133 --> 00:15:42,166
because I'm not dead.
357
00:15:43,383 --> 00:15:44,450
And I wish I was.
358
00:15:47,466 --> 00:15:49,830
Uh, honey, why don't we
play
some hide-and-go-seek.
359
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,383
Okay, I'll hide.
360
00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:52,183
Good choice, sweetie.
361
00:15:55,116 --> 00:15:57,133
So what's the matter?
362
00:15:57,166 --> 00:15:59,333
Who said anything was
the matter?
363
00:15:59,366 --> 00:16:01,830
Franny, I know you
like the back of my
hand.
364
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,216
Jeez, I never
noticed that
before.
365
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:09,466
So anyway, what is it -
man trouble?
366
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,233
Well, how could he not know
what's bothering me?
367
00:16:13,266 --> 00:16:15,416
I know. It's because I'm
like
all the Fine women.
368
00:16:15,450 --> 00:16:19,330
We're just too damn subtle.
369
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:22,133
It's a waste of time
talking to men.
370
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:24,100
First of all,
they aren't that
interesting.
371
00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:29,283
Sixty-two years I was
married
to your grandfather,
372
00:16:29,316 --> 00:16:32,000
we didn't say two words.
373
00:16:32,330 --> 00:16:35,660
The man had no
communication skills.
374
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,200
That's true.
375
00:16:36,233 --> 00:16:38,500
If only he'd been able to say,
376
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,660
"I'm choking on a chicken
bone,"
he'd be alive today.
377
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:40,416
Yeah.
378
00:16:43,116 --> 00:16:45,250
So what is it?
Your sex life stinks?
379
00:16:45,283 --> 00:16:47,483
Grandma, he doesn't
sleep with me.
380
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,830
Not even on your birthday?
381
00:16:50,116 --> 00:16:51,350
No.
382
00:16:51,383 --> 00:16:54,830
That's a bad marriage.
383
00:16:54,116 --> 00:16:56,283
We're not married.
384
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,483
Oy, look at me,
I'm hanging on every
word,
385
00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:58,300
like I'm talking to Yoda.
386
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,150
[MOUTHS SILENTLY]
387
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,150
[CONTINUES MOUTHING SILENTLY]
388
00:17:16,183 --> 00:17:18,500
[SIGHS] May I
help you, sir?
389
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:19,133
Oh, that's all right,
Niles.
390
00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:21,133
I'm just counting
forward 28 days
391
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,216
from the last time Miss Fine
seemed to hate my guts
392
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,416
for no apparent reason.
393
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:27,333
No, that'll be next week.
394
00:17:27,366 --> 00:17:30,100
Hm, something to look
forward
to, sir.
395
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,433
C.C., maybe you can
shed some light on this.
396
00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:35,500
I mean, you're a woman.
397
00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:36,350
I'm still waiting
for the DNA
results.
398
00:17:40,366 --> 00:17:42,366
You men
just don't get it.
399
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,150
She doesn't hate you,
it's her life!
400
00:17:45,183 --> 00:17:47,333
She doesn't
have a boyfriend.
401
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:50,300
She has a dead-end job
with no prospects,
402
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:53,166
she's working for a man
who hardly knows she's
alive.
403
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,330
Her own dog hates her.
404
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,116
A blind date stole her stereo.
405
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:02,400
Who was I talking about again?
406
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,266
Think back, sir.
407
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,316
One year ago today,
408
00:18:08,350 --> 00:18:11,330
someone's spike heel
dug its first divot
409
00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:14,000
into the parquet floor.
410
00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:15,333
I thought you were
gonna get that fixed.
411
00:18:15,366 --> 00:18:18,166
Come closer.
412
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:22,160
One year to the day
since we first
learned.
413
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,416
"If it ain't
half off,
it ain't on
sale."
414
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,400
Would you just--?
415
00:18:27,433 --> 00:18:28,330
Would you just
get to the point, old man.
416
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,316
Work with me, sir.
417
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,450
It's her anniversary.
418
00:18:34,483 --> 00:18:38,366
Oh, Niles, don't be
preposterous.
419
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,216
I mean, you've been
working here forever,
420
00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:42,266
and I haven't the faintest
idea
when you started.
421
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:44,250
And you don't go off
all half-cocked.
422
00:18:44,283 --> 00:18:45,416
I keep the hurt
inside, sir.
423
00:18:49,483 --> 00:18:52,466
You also forget my birthday.
I suppose that's all right too.
424
00:18:55,166 --> 00:18:57,316
Come on, Niles.
425
00:18:57,350 --> 00:18:58,383
Are you seriously
telling me
426
00:18:58,416 --> 00:19:00,333
that Miss Fine
is the type of person
427
00:19:00,366 --> 00:19:02,133
to hold it over my head
just because I simp--
428
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:07,100
Oh, God, is it too late
to send flowers?
429
00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:09,466
Maxwell, have you
lost your mind?
430
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,160
She is the nanny!
431
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,160
I have been your partner
for 10 years,
432
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:15,150
and we've never celebrated
a damn thing.
433
00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:23,450
Get it?
434
00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:24,366
[CLEARS THROAT]
Perhaps I can still
pick something up
435
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,660
at Bloomingdale's.
436
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:28,166
Maxwell, we have to get
to the airport.
437
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,366
You are not gonna
miss
this ceremony.
438
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,433
I can't walk
down the aisle
alone!
439
00:19:32,466 --> 00:19:33,466
I say, prepare
for the inevitable.
440
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,283
Kids, hurry up!
441
00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:47,660
Your father's on...
442
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,300
and he won!
443
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:50,283
[MUTTERS]
I hope his fly is open.
444
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:55,300
Oh, doesn't daddy
look handsome?
445
00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:56,466
[MUTTERS]
Hmmm, no Pierce Brosnan.
446
00:19:58,366 --> 00:20:00,333
Oh, there's C.C.
447
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,160
Oh, my. The camera does
put on 10 pounds.
448
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,166
It just doesn't distribute it.
449
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:13,830
Um, I'd like to thank
450
00:20:13,116 --> 00:20:14,350
the Center
for the Performing
Arts
451
00:20:14,383 --> 00:20:17,233
for this most gracious
recognition,
452
00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:20,166
and I'd like to thankmy three wonderfulchildren,
453
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,166
and a very specialthanksto the woman
454
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,160
without whose helpI wouldn't be heretonight...
455
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:27,660
Miss Fran Fine.
456
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,500
Oh.
457
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:32,216
Happy anniversary,Miss Fine.
458
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,116
C.C. fainted!
459
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:40,383
Oh, my God.
460
00:20:40,416 --> 00:20:42,133
And that, ladies,
461
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:43,333
is why you must always
wear your underwear.
462
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,330
Oh, congratulations, sir.
Thank you.
463
00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:55,166
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
464
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,383
that was so sweet of you
to mention my
anniversary.
465
00:20:59,416 --> 00:21:01,433
But, you know,
you really didn't have to.
466
00:21:01,466 --> 00:21:03,433
I mean, those things
aren't important to me.
467
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:08,350
Well, they are important to me.
468
00:21:08,383 --> 00:21:10,300
It's been a marvelous year,
Miss Fine,
469
00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:11,483
and you are
a wonderful nanny,
470
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,350
and I'm sorry
if I don't say it enough.
471
00:21:13,383 --> 00:21:15,483
Oh, well,
if I'm so
wonderful,
472
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,183
how come nobody wants
to hire me away?
473
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:19,300
Oh, well, that?
474
00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:21,660
Yeah.
Well, there--
475
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,166
There's a very simple
explanation to that.
476
00:21:25,216 --> 00:21:28,116
As a matter of fact,
it's so simple
477
00:21:28,150 --> 00:21:30,250
that explaining it to you
478
00:21:30,283 --> 00:21:31,200
would really be
rather insulting.
479
00:21:31,233 --> 00:21:32,200
[SHE CHUCKLES]
480
00:21:32,233 --> 00:21:33,133
Go ahead.
481
00:21:35,466 --> 00:21:38,350
Um, well...
482
00:21:38,383 --> 00:21:39,366
Well, the reason
that you haven't had
483
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,233
any other job offers is--
484
00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:43,160
Is simply because, uh...
485
00:21:45,416 --> 00:21:47,400
Niles,
is there any more tea?
486
00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:49,116
I'll go to China
and see.
487
00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:56,483
Hi.
488
00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:03,300
Well, just look at you,
Miss Fine.
489
00:22:03,333 --> 00:22:05,383
I-I mean-- I mean,
I am a single father,
490
00:22:05,416 --> 00:22:08,366
but what married woman
in her right mind
491
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,316
would want someone
as attractive as you
492
00:22:10,350 --> 00:22:12,160
in her home right under
her husband's nose?
493
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:17,433
Mmm, well...
494
00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:18,300
[CHUCKLES]
Now that you mention
it.
495
00:22:21,283 --> 00:22:22,350
Well, when you're
right,
you're right.
496
00:22:24,316 --> 00:22:26,200
Goodnight, Mr. Sheffield, Niles.
497
00:22:26,233 --> 00:22:28,333
NILES: Good night, Miss Fine.
498
00:22:28,366 --> 00:22:31,350
Nice, save, sir.
- Whew, thanks, Niles.
499
00:22:31,383 --> 00:22:32,466
I came up with that at the
last minute. [CHUCKLES]
500
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,366
I heard that!
501
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,160
Brighton!
[GLASS SHATTERS]
502
00:22:59,316 --> 00:23:08,100
[HUMS "PUT ON A HAPPY FACE"]
503
00:23:08,133 --> 00:23:10,366
[HUMS "PUT ON A HAPPY FACE"]
♪Wha-wha, wha-wha-wha, whaa
504
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:17,116
[HE CONTINUES HUMMING]
505
00:23:17,150 --> 00:23:18,350
[HUMS JAUNTILY]
♪De-de-de, de-de-de-de, de-de
♪
506
00:23:18,383 --> 00:23:19,266
♪De-de, de-de-de-de ♪
36820
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