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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,773
(whirring)
2
00:00:02,773 --> 00:00:04,135
Ugh. More reading?
3
00:00:04,135 --> 00:00:05,776
Come on, boys.
It's enough already.
4
00:00:05,776 --> 00:00:08,008
You're boring your mother and me
To death.
5
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,381
I'm reading philip roth.
He's delightful.
6
00:00:10,381 --> 00:00:11,542
(doorbell rings)
7
00:00:11,542 --> 00:00:12,713
Ugh.
So impressive.
8
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:15,015
Oh, great. It's the weavers.
9
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,287
This will be fun.
10
00:00:16,287 --> 00:00:18,018
Hi, larry.
11
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:22,493
So we are going to atlantic city
For the evening.
12
00:00:22,493 --> 00:00:23,654
And this is the first time
13
00:00:23,654 --> 00:00:25,056
That we're leaving amber alone
With the kids.
14
00:00:25,056 --> 00:00:26,597
So we're wondering if, uh,
15
00:00:26,597 --> 00:00:28,199
You guys can keep an eye on them
While we're away.
16
00:00:28,199 --> 00:00:29,560
Yeah. Just pop in,
Make sure they haven't
17
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,662
Gone all "Lord of the flies"
On each other.
18
00:00:31,662 --> 00:00:34,034
How long are you going
To be away from your children?
19
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,168
(inhales deeply)
24 blissful hours.
20
00:00:37,168 --> 00:00:38,639
We're going with you.
We're going with you.
21
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,211
What? No.
22
00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:42,243
Oh, come on. You're not
The only one who needs a break
23
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,075
From your lame children.
24
00:00:44,075 --> 00:00:46,117
Says the women who reads
Nicholas sparks.
25
00:00:46,117 --> 00:00:48,048
Ooh!
26
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,051
We could all use a little break
From one another.
27
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,583
(larry) yes,
So it works out perfectly.
28
00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:54,085
Reggie can help amber
Watch the kids.
(gasps)
29
00:00:54,085 --> 00:00:56,357
No, larry.
You're not coming, okay?
30
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,358
We're going alone
Because this is how--
31
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:59,190
Oh, marty, get off of it.
32
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:00,831
We all know
How this script ends.
33
00:01:00,831 --> 00:01:02,293
You tell us you're gonna
Do something,
34
00:01:02,293 --> 00:01:05,065
We say we're going with you,
You say "No," we go anyway,
35
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,837
Hijinks ensue.
36
00:01:06,837 --> 00:01:08,339
You learn from us,
We learn from you,
37
00:01:08,339 --> 00:01:10,201
And it all gets wrapped up
In a nice tidy package,
38
00:01:10,201 --> 00:01:12,203
Usually around 9:00 p.M.
39
00:01:12,203 --> 00:01:13,574
We'll see you tomorrow morning,
8:00 a.M.
40
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,176
You're driving. Don't be late.
41
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:16,847
(jackie) great!
No, I--no!
42
00:01:16,847 --> 00:01:18,779
We should know better
Than that.
43
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,251
Such a rookie mistake.
44
00:01:20,251 --> 00:01:21,412
(exhales deeply)
45
00:01:21,412 --> 00:01:26,517
♪♪♪
46
00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:28,859
Emergency contacts
On the fridge.
47
00:01:28,859 --> 00:01:30,491
I will have my phone with me
At all times.
48
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,223
And no parties.
49
00:01:32,223 --> 00:01:33,594
I've seen "The hangover."
50
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,426
Great reference, dad.
It's very relevant.
51
00:01:35,426 --> 00:01:36,827
Don't worry about it.
I got this.
52
00:01:36,827 --> 00:01:39,130
Amber, I know I said
I was leaving you in charge,
53
00:01:39,130 --> 00:01:40,801
But since your breakup
With jeremy,
54
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,673
You've been moping around here
More than usual,
55
00:01:42,673 --> 00:01:44,805
And I don't think you should
Be taking care of kids.
56
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,106
Well, that's...
57
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,708
Probably a good choice.
58
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,680
Which brings me to you.
59
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,142
Oh! Why, thank you,
Debbie weaver.
60
00:01:51,142 --> 00:01:52,683
I'm just so honored
That you're--
61
00:01:52,683 --> 00:01:53,844
Six months ago, yes.
62
00:01:53,844 --> 00:01:55,186
But now that you have
A girlfriend,
63
00:01:55,186 --> 00:01:57,448
You've become a little too...
Teenage boy.
64
00:01:57,448 --> 00:01:58,849
You're not the boss of me.
65
00:01:58,849 --> 00:02:01,492
And bingo.
66
00:02:01,492 --> 00:02:02,753
And then there's dick.
67
00:02:02,753 --> 00:02:04,595
You're the smartest.
True.
68
00:02:04,595 --> 00:02:06,257
The most responsible.
Check.
69
00:02:06,257 --> 00:02:09,300
The most likely to rat out
Your fellow children.
Max steals.
70
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:10,731
Not yet.
Excellent choice, deborah.
71
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:14,134
I've been champing at the bit
To get this place into shape.
72
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,135
(horn honks)
73
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,307
Come on!
74
00:02:16,307 --> 00:02:18,209
We were supposed to leave
An hour ago!
75
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:20,140
This trip wasn't a surprise!
76
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,472
You ready to relax?
77
00:02:21,472 --> 00:02:24,245
Can't wait. And here we go!
Love you, guys!
78
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:25,546
(both, flatly) love you back.
79
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,719
So... What do you want
To do?
80
00:02:28,719 --> 00:02:31,452
I don't know about you, but I'm
Gonna pee in the backyard.
81
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,724
You will do no such thing,
Young man!
82
00:02:33,724 --> 00:02:36,557
Get in the kitchen.
I'm making fresh kale smoothies.
83
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,259
(sighs)
84
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:39,390
Well...
85
00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:42,162
We don't have to babysit
Anymore.
86
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,495
So...
What do you want to do?
87
00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:46,337
Actually,
I've decided it's time
88
00:02:46,337 --> 00:02:49,300
To take my relationship
With giselle to the next level.
89
00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:51,272
You gonna touch her knee?
90
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,444
I... Am gonna tell her
That I'm not...
91
00:02:53,444 --> 00:02:55,506
You know, from earth.
92
00:02:55,506 --> 00:02:58,349
Oh, wow. That's...
93
00:02:58,349 --> 00:03:00,351
Really big.
Yeah.
94
00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:02,413
What's wrong?
95
00:03:02,413 --> 00:03:03,754
I don't know. I mean,
I guess I kind of liked
96
00:03:03,754 --> 00:03:05,816
Being the only girl
That knew your secret.
97
00:03:05,816 --> 00:03:09,260
I don't want to share
My reggie with a--
What are you doing?
98
00:03:09,260 --> 00:03:10,361
What?
99
00:03:10,361 --> 00:03:12,192
You always do this, amber.
100
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,565
I get closer to giselle,
You get closer to me.
101
00:03:14,565 --> 00:03:15,896
I start to have feelings
For you again,
102
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,568
You pull away, I get hurt.
103
00:03:17,568 --> 00:03:19,370
So I'm going to tell
My girlfriend who I really am,
104
00:03:19,370 --> 00:03:20,571
Unless you have
Something new to say.
105
00:03:20,571 --> 00:03:23,234
Because if you do,
You should say it now.
106
00:03:25,276 --> 00:03:27,438
That's what I thought.
107
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:32,243
(singsongy) amber, sweetie,
I made pot stickers!
108
00:03:33,544 --> 00:03:37,988
♪♪♪
109
00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:52,803
It's like the cantina
From "Star wars."
110
00:03:52,803 --> 00:03:54,465
Marty, look. Puppets!
111
00:03:54,465 --> 00:03:56,307
(women giggling)
112
00:03:56,307 --> 00:03:57,268
Who's that?
(debbie and marty laugh)
113
00:03:57,268 --> 00:03:59,570
Oh, it's a bachelorette party.
114
00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:00,971
Yeah, when a women gets married,
115
00:04:00,971 --> 00:04:02,873
Her maid of honor--
Usually her best friend--
116
00:04:02,873 --> 00:04:04,345
Takes the bridesmaids out.
117
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,547
I want to join
The bachelorette party.
118
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:07,818
Oh, no, jackie,
I'm going upstairs to the room.
119
00:04:07,818 --> 00:04:09,550
Oh, my god. She's very strong.
120
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,252
Marty, text me the room number!
I've gotta call the kids!
121
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,425
It's probably a disaster there.
122
00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:18,389
("Habanera"
From bizet's "Carmen" playing)
123
00:04:21,392 --> 00:04:22,633
(timer bell dings)
Ooh!
124
00:04:24,535 --> 00:04:25,696
(telephone rings)
125
00:04:25,696 --> 00:04:28,369
It's like grand central station.
126
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,341
(ring)
(sighs) weaver residence.
127
00:04:30,341 --> 00:04:34,445
(pop music playing loudly)
Hey, dick, it's debbie.
How's everything going?
128
00:04:34,445 --> 00:04:36,276
Great. The kids look like they
Don't get enough vegetables,
129
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,979
So I stuck pureed spinach
Into their muffins.
130
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,351
Ooh! Nice work, dick.
(call waiting beeping)
131
00:04:40,351 --> 00:04:42,052
I'm getting another call.
132
00:04:42,052 --> 00:04:43,584
Is there anything else,
Deborah?
133
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,285
Oh, I guess not.
134
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,358
Just tell the kids
That I love--
(line disconnects)
135
00:04:47,358 --> 00:04:48,819
Hello?
136
00:04:48,819 --> 00:04:50,661
Weaver residence.
137
00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:53,293
(distorted male voice)
Go to the tv.
138
00:05:05,576 --> 00:05:06,937
Really?
139
00:05:06,937 --> 00:05:09,740
(electric whirs and beeps)
140
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,485
No.
141
00:05:17,648 --> 00:05:18,649
Okay.
142
00:05:20,991 --> 00:05:24,425
Oh... (whispers) crap.
143
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:27,327
...My upstairs
For... Upstairs.
144
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,029
Ooh, reba!
145
00:05:33,664 --> 00:05:35,706
Okay, larry,
Room should be ready by now.
146
00:05:35,706 --> 00:05:36,867
Let's go get the keys.
147
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:38,569
What's the object
Of this game?
148
00:05:38,569 --> 00:05:40,040
It's blackjack.
You play against the dealer,
149
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,413
And basically, you have to get
As close to 21 as you can
150
00:05:42,413 --> 00:05:44,014
Without going over.
151
00:05:44,014 --> 00:05:45,476
Hit me.
152
00:05:45,476 --> 00:05:48,348
Oh, he shouldn't do that.
It's going to be a queen.
153
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,620
24.
154
00:05:51,121 --> 00:05:53,524
Wait a second, larry.
Can you count cards?
155
00:05:53,524 --> 00:05:55,586
Of course not.
Oh, yeah. What am I saying?
156
00:05:55,586 --> 00:05:57,528
I can see through them.
157
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,461
4 of diamonds.
158
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,092
6 of hearts.
159
00:06:02,092 --> 00:06:03,464
An "A" of balls.
160
00:06:13,944 --> 00:06:15,946
(loud click)
(gasps)
161
00:06:24,755 --> 00:06:25,916
(click)
162
00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:27,788
(clatter)
163
00:06:28,959 --> 00:06:30,090
(click)
164
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,864
(clatter)
165
00:06:33,864 --> 00:06:35,025
(click)
166
00:06:36,467 --> 00:06:37,598
(clatter)
167
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,704
What a strangely inefficient way
To communicate.
168
00:06:45,636 --> 00:06:47,738
Whoa!
169
00:06:51,542 --> 00:06:53,844
Tell me about your wedding,
Debbie weaver.
170
00:06:53,844 --> 00:06:56,416
Oh! It was great.
171
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,649
I mean, we didn't have
Any money,
172
00:06:58,649 --> 00:06:59,990
So a friend of marty's
From college
173
00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:03,123
Let us use his rooftop garden
In manhattan.
Oh.
174
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,195
What about you?
175
00:07:05,195 --> 00:07:08,198
Oh. No. Weddings are not a thing
On zabvron.
176
00:07:08,198 --> 00:07:11,431
After larry bird and I
Had been together for a year,
177
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,433
A clerk from the hall of records
Popped by
178
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,434
To tell us we were married,
179
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,066
And we signed our names
In the book of sorrows,
180
00:07:16,066 --> 00:07:17,808
And that was about that.
181
00:07:17,808 --> 00:07:19,439
Huh.
182
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,573
You weavers have been
So good to us this year.
183
00:07:22,573 --> 00:07:24,575
It's a shame I'll never
Have a real wedding.
184
00:07:24,575 --> 00:07:27,778
I would have liked very much
For you to be my maid of honor.
185
00:07:27,778 --> 00:07:30,951
Oh.
(inhales sharply)
Well, enough of that.
186
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,583
Let's go
And find our husbands
187
00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:34,585
So that you can start
Your vacation.
188
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:37,688
(exhales)
189
00:07:37,688 --> 00:07:40,090
Jackie?
190
00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:41,932
Hang on. Come here.
191
00:07:41,932 --> 00:07:43,163
We're gonna do
One bet, larry--
192
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,235
$5,000, then we walk away.
193
00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:48,799
Larry, $5,000 is a lot
Of money for us.
194
00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:50,701
I cannot lose.
195
00:07:50,701 --> 00:07:52,472
Marty, I can see
Through the cards.
196
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,243
I like your odds.
197
00:07:53,243 --> 00:07:56,176
(laughs) here we go!
198
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:59,249
(indistinct conversations)
199
00:08:00,911 --> 00:08:01,912
Card, sir?
200
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:17,497
(woman) 22. You bust.
201
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,529
Larry, what happened?
202
00:08:18,529 --> 00:08:19,870
I thought you said you could
See through the cards.
203
00:08:19,870 --> 00:08:21,632
I can.
Well, then what was that?
204
00:08:21,632 --> 00:08:23,934
Oh. Oh, I see. It's smudged.
205
00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:26,076
Yes, see, it looked like a "3."
206
00:08:26,076 --> 00:08:28,278
My goodness gracious me,
You seem genuinely upset.
207
00:08:28,278 --> 00:08:30,541
I thought you were joking
About the $5,000
208
00:08:30,541 --> 00:08:33,744
Being a lot of money.
How poor are you?
209
00:08:33,744 --> 00:08:36,286
Larry, I think
I have to kill you.
210
00:08:36,286 --> 00:08:37,588
How much do you have left?
211
00:08:40,791 --> 00:08:42,022
Like $300.
212
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,295
Fine. Come with me.
And then when we're done,
213
00:08:45,295 --> 00:08:48,298
I'm going to see a man
And some puppets.
214
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:54,104
(clock ticking)
215
00:08:54,104 --> 00:08:55,105
(knock on door)
216
00:08:55,105 --> 00:08:57,307
Hey.
217
00:08:57,307 --> 00:08:59,109
Hey.
218
00:08:59,109 --> 00:09:01,541
I'm sorry about earlier.
219
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,673
No, you're right.
220
00:09:02,673 --> 00:09:05,045
If I need to say something,
I should just say it.
221
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,618
Reggie, the thing is...
222
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,252
I just think it's really cool
223
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:15,986
That you're telling giselle
Your secret.
224
00:09:15,986 --> 00:09:17,027
Really?
225
00:09:17,027 --> 00:09:20,160
Oh. Hello, amber.
226
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,992
Giselle!
227
00:09:21,992 --> 00:09:23,764
You look good today.
What is that...
228
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,265
Is it your hair?
229
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:28,068
Bye.
230
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,269
Is everything okay?
231
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,171
You sounded weird
On the phone.
232
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,043
So here's the thing--
233
00:09:33,043 --> 00:09:36,576
I am...
234
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,650
I-I'm--I'm not...
235
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,652
Let me start
From the beginning.
236
00:09:43,914 --> 00:09:46,056
Huh.
237
00:09:46,056 --> 00:09:47,357
(marty) roulette?
238
00:09:47,357 --> 00:09:50,020
Larry, roulette has
The worst odds in the casino.
239
00:09:50,020 --> 00:09:53,123
Not when I play.
$300 on 17, please.
240
00:09:53,123 --> 00:09:54,765
Oh, my god.
241
00:09:54,765 --> 00:09:55,766
(ball rattling)
242
00:09:55,766 --> 00:09:56,897
Okay, 1-7.
243
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,969
Lets go, 17!
244
00:09:58,969 --> 00:10:01,802
I wanna stay married!
Come on, baby!
(pats table)
245
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,003
(ball clatters)
246
00:10:05,636 --> 00:10:06,637
Larry, again!
247
00:10:06,637 --> 00:10:08,308
Wait for it.
248
00:10:14,785 --> 00:10:17,147
17's a winner!
249
00:10:17,147 --> 00:10:18,388
(laughs) 17!
250
00:10:18,388 --> 00:10:19,820
Larry, I could kiss you!
251
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,321
I'm gonna kiss you.
Come here, you.
252
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,654
Aah!
Love you!
253
00:10:23,654 --> 00:10:26,226
Good lords of zabvron.
254
00:10:31,662 --> 00:10:32,833
Ahem!
255
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,666
472 years ago,
256
00:10:35,666 --> 00:10:39,169
I met you on opposing sides
Of an intergalactic battlefield.
257
00:10:39,169 --> 00:10:40,771
And when you won
258
00:10:40,771 --> 00:10:43,343
And started mutilating all
Of my fellow freedom fighters,
259
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,215
I knew that--
Jackie. Jackie.
260
00:10:45,215 --> 00:10:46,346
People are starting
To look,
261
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:47,818
So let's just
Move it along, okay?
262
00:10:47,818 --> 00:10:48,819
Okay. Okay.
263
00:10:48,819 --> 00:10:50,320
Lawrence bird,
264
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,282
Will you marry me?
265
00:10:52,282 --> 00:10:53,724
We are married.
266
00:10:53,724 --> 00:10:55,726
But I want to stand up
In front of everyone we know
267
00:10:55,726 --> 00:10:58,729
And proclaim my love
For you.
268
00:10:58,729 --> 00:11:00,430
All right, then. Um...
269
00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:03,193
I have a question
For you, my darling.
270
00:11:03,193 --> 00:11:04,765
After we do your thing,
271
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:07,067
Can we please see
A freaking puppet show?
272
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,999
Yes. Yes, we can.
273
00:11:08,999 --> 00:11:10,000
Oh...
274
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,773
(cheering)
275
00:11:17,207 --> 00:11:18,749
(static crackles)
276
00:11:18,749 --> 00:11:20,811
(gasps)
277
00:11:24,114 --> 00:11:25,756
Hello, grandson.
278
00:11:25,756 --> 00:11:27,858
The evacuation
Of earth has begun.
279
00:11:27,858 --> 00:11:30,460
We're not impressed,
And we're pulling you out.
280
00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:33,363
We will be there to
Retrieve you within the hour.
281
00:11:33,363 --> 00:11:36,326
Prepare for our arrival.
282
00:11:40,771 --> 00:11:43,273
So here is
The big secret.
283
00:11:43,273 --> 00:11:48,138
I am...
Really sweating. Huh.
284
00:11:48,138 --> 00:11:50,410
Reggie, stop.
Don't be nervous.
285
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,083
Just tell me.
Okay.
286
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:56,316
I think the best way
To tell you
287
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:59,289
Is to show you.
288
00:11:59,289 --> 00:12:00,851
(inhales deeply)
289
00:12:00,851 --> 00:12:03,794
Grandpa's coming!
He'll be here in 30 minutes!
290
00:12:03,794 --> 00:12:05,155
Oh, I'd love
To meet your grandfather.
291
00:12:05,155 --> 00:12:08,298
Zip it, missy!
The men are talking.
We have to tell mom and dad.
292
00:12:08,298 --> 00:12:10,861
He commanded us not to.
He's the supreme commander.
293
00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:13,263
It was a supreme command.
Wow. Okay.
294
00:12:13,263 --> 00:12:15,365
Hell of a day to leave
An 8-year-old in charge.
295
00:12:15,365 --> 00:12:16,506
Well, even if
We can't tell father,
296
00:12:16,506 --> 00:12:17,467
We should make sure
Everyone's prepared.
297
00:12:17,467 --> 00:12:20,771
Stay here.
I have to warn the community.
298
00:12:23,073 --> 00:12:28,218
So, if it doesn't work out
With you and reggie...
299
00:12:28,218 --> 00:12:31,451
Hey...
300
00:12:35,485 --> 00:12:38,358
(muzak playing)
301
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,861
I see
You're taking this seriously.
302
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,432
This is the only jacket
They had in my size, larry.
303
00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:44,394
Okay? Not everyone
Can just wear a tux
304
00:12:44,394 --> 00:12:45,535
Off the rack, you know.
305
00:12:45,535 --> 00:12:48,168
Here. I wanted you
To have this.
306
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,940
Jackie, you're not supposed
To get me a gift.
307
00:12:49,940 --> 00:12:52,342
It's your wedding.
I'm supposed to get you a gift.
308
00:12:52,342 --> 00:12:55,005
Well, just open it.
Oh.
309
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:57,878
I stole it
From housekeeping.
310
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,350
A maid of honor
Should look like a real maid.
311
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:01,251
(whispers) awesome.
312
00:13:01,251 --> 00:13:04,184
Tradition dictates
That I have a best man.
313
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,416
And while you are
Terribly flawed,
314
00:13:06,416 --> 00:13:08,358
Have questionable
Personal hygiene,
315
00:13:08,358 --> 00:13:09,920
And something
About your face
316
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,191
That I'm really
Not wild about...
317
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:13,393
Larry... What are
You trying to say?
318
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,125
That against all odds,
319
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:17,397
You are the best...
320
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,930
Friend I've ever had,
Marty weaver...
321
00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:22,502
And the best man
I'll ever know.
322
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:26,236
That's very nice, larry.
Thank you so--
323
00:13:26,236 --> 00:13:27,437
Yes.
324
00:13:27,437 --> 00:13:29,379
Yes, it's your nose
That bothers me.
325
00:13:29,379 --> 00:13:31,281
Yes, it's definitely
Your nose.
326
00:13:31,281 --> 00:13:32,442
(debbie) ready.
327
00:13:32,442 --> 00:13:36,146
Don't forget this.
328
00:13:36,146 --> 00:13:38,989
Yeah. That's what
This was missing.
329
00:13:56,306 --> 00:13:57,607
Yep,
It's grandfather all right.
330
00:13:57,607 --> 00:13:59,970
Go call mother and father.
331
00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:02,072
But it was
A supreme command.
332
00:14:02,072 --> 00:14:04,014
Yes, but our loyalty
Is to our parents.
333
00:14:04,014 --> 00:14:06,046
Got it.
334
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:08,448
Out of the way!
335
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,981
Hey, all your little
E.T. Friends
336
00:14:10,981 --> 00:14:12,122
Are acting weirder than normal.
What's going on?
337
00:14:12,122 --> 00:14:14,384
Reggie, is everything okay?
338
00:14:16,386 --> 00:14:18,428
Okay, something unexpected
Has happened.
339
00:14:18,428 --> 00:14:19,559
I might need to go away.
340
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,392
I need to tell you something
Right now.
341
00:14:22,392 --> 00:14:24,935
I have a big secret.
I should probably go.
342
00:14:24,935 --> 00:14:26,336
Stay here.
343
00:14:27,998 --> 00:14:30,040
I've had this secret
Ever since I've known you.
344
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,202
You love amber.
No, he doesn't.
345
00:14:32,202 --> 00:14:33,473
Yes, I do.
346
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,377
I am so sorry, giselle.
347
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,408
You know what, reggie?
348
00:14:38,408 --> 00:14:41,151
When I first met you,
I was just a lonely girl
349
00:14:41,151 --> 00:14:43,383
Who had no friends
And collected turtles.
350
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:47,257
So before you start making
Lots of excuses,
351
00:14:47,257 --> 00:14:50,420
Please just let me leave
With dignity, okay?
352
00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:52,092
Okay.
353
00:14:54,264 --> 00:14:56,366
Come on, dignity.
354
00:14:56,366 --> 00:14:58,128
Let's go.
355
00:14:58,128 --> 00:15:01,131
(alison krauss' "When you say
Nothing at all" playing)
356
00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:06,536
(door closes)
♪ it's amazing how you ♪
357
00:15:06,536 --> 00:15:10,380
♪ can speak right to my heart ♪
358
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,948
♪ without saying a word ♪
359
00:15:17,948 --> 00:15:22,592
♪ you can light up the dark ♪
360
00:15:22,592 --> 00:15:25,425
(roaring)
361
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:31,501
♪ try as I may,
I could never explain ♪
362
00:15:31,501 --> 00:15:40,410
♪ what I feel when you say
Don't say a thing ♪
363
00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:42,712
♪ the smile on your face ♪
364
00:15:42,712 --> 00:15:46,576
♪ lets me know
That you need me ♪
365
00:15:46,576 --> 00:15:48,348
♪ there's a truth in your eyes ♪
366
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:52,252
♪ saying you'll never leave me ♪
367
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,584
♪ the touch of your hand ♪
368
00:15:54,584 --> 00:16:02,032
♪ says you'll catch me
If ever I fall ♪
369
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:07,067
♪ you say it best ♪
370
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:15,005
♪ when you say nothing at all ♪
371
00:16:19,509 --> 00:16:21,651
You were my favorite thing
About earth.
372
00:16:21,651 --> 00:16:24,154
So were you.
373
00:16:24,154 --> 00:16:26,116
You and joe biden.
374
00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:29,689
Love me some joe biden.
375
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,494
♪ the smile on your face-- ♪
376
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,267
Hello, grandson.
377
00:16:38,368 --> 00:16:41,231
Oh, my.
378
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,676
Where is your father?
379
00:16:46,676 --> 00:16:48,738
He should be here any minute.
380
00:16:48,738 --> 00:16:50,540
Well, I wish he'd hurry.
381
00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:52,342
I wanna beat the traffic.
382
00:16:52,342 --> 00:16:54,484
(brakes squeal)
383
00:16:54,484 --> 00:16:55,515
(van doors open)
384
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:59,089
(zabvronians murmuring)
385
00:16:59,089 --> 00:17:01,491
(van door closes,
Car alarm chirps)
386
00:17:02,752 --> 00:17:05,125
Hello, daddy.
Son.
387
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,627
I've been trying
To contact you for months.
388
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,529
Didn't you get
My toasts?
389
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,561
No, I didn't get your toasts.
You didn't get my toasts--
390
00:17:11,561 --> 00:17:13,563
No, I just said I didn't get
Your toasts, daddy.
391
00:17:13,563 --> 00:17:16,106
Hello, debbie.
392
00:17:16,106 --> 00:17:17,707
(both) hello.
393
00:17:17,707 --> 00:17:19,739
Oh, back on zabvron,
My name was debbie.
394
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,071
I never told you that?
395
00:17:21,071 --> 00:17:22,672
No, I think I would have
Remembered that.
396
00:17:22,672 --> 00:17:24,114
Oh.
397
00:17:24,114 --> 00:17:25,315
Debbie callahan.
398
00:17:25,315 --> 00:17:26,316
Oh.
399
00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:28,148
The mission is over.
400
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,280
Zabvronians, move out.
401
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,182
No!
402
00:17:32,182 --> 00:17:34,484
(suitcases thud)
403
00:17:34,484 --> 00:17:35,585
I'm not going back,
404
00:17:35,585 --> 00:17:38,628
And neither is my family.
405
00:17:38,628 --> 00:17:39,729
We like it here.
406
00:17:39,729 --> 00:17:41,691
Really? 'cause all you do
Is piss and moan
407
00:17:41,691 --> 00:17:43,533
About how much
You hate it here.
408
00:17:43,533 --> 00:17:46,636
Yeah. Well, um...
Father, you would love it here.
409
00:17:46,636 --> 00:17:48,468
I've learned
So much already.
410
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:51,171
I feel I just need another six
Or maybe seven more seasons--
411
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:54,674
I mean, uh, years,
Before I figure it all out.
412
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,646
Four would be fine.
At least, yeah.
413
00:17:56,646 --> 00:17:58,308
Earth is a silly place.
414
00:17:58,308 --> 00:18:00,680
Half the world
Has no clean water,
415
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,213
And the other half has so much,
They poo in it.
416
00:18:03,213 --> 00:18:04,514
Poo?
417
00:18:04,514 --> 00:18:07,187
Then we met the weavers.
418
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,558
I mean, they're not much
To look at.
419
00:18:08,558 --> 00:18:10,620
But they've shown us
The very best
420
00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:12,722
This planet can be.
421
00:18:12,722 --> 00:18:14,664
We won't let you take
Our friends away.
422
00:18:14,664 --> 00:18:17,497
And if you do, you're gonna
Have to go through me.
423
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:20,870
I can go back to zabvron.
I'm good either way.
424
00:18:20,870 --> 00:18:22,672
You're coming home.
425
00:18:22,672 --> 00:18:24,334
No.
426
00:18:24,334 --> 00:18:26,105
This isn't over, son.
427
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,807
As sure as I'm standing here,
428
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,839
I will return.
429
00:18:29,839 --> 00:18:31,881
And when I do,
430
00:18:31,881 --> 00:18:33,743
You'd better
Have cut that hair.
431
00:18:33,743 --> 00:18:35,515
You look like your mother.
432
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:36,686
(gasps)
433
00:18:36,686 --> 00:18:37,817
Hi-ho.
434
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:40,750
(all) let's go.
435
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:41,821
(spaceship whirring)
436
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:45,225
Say hi to mummy.
437
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,657
(whirring)
438
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,836
So...
439
00:18:56,836 --> 00:19:00,210
Really, dick? You could have
Gone either way?
440
00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:02,672
Real cold, dick butkus.
Real cold.
441
00:19:02,672 --> 00:19:06,346
Oh, come on!
What was I supposed to say?
442
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:08,348
He had an army.
443
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:11,851
We can always go back home
If you change your mind.
444
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,883
No, my darling.
445
00:19:13,883 --> 00:19:17,857
Have the last 472 years
Taught you nothing?
446
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,729
My home
Is wherever you are.
447
00:19:20,790 --> 00:19:23,693
♪♪♪
448
00:19:23,693 --> 00:19:26,636
Mmm! Strange year.
449
00:19:26,636 --> 00:19:28,668
The strangest.
450
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,770
Still glad we moved here?
451
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,773
(imitating larry) has what
Seems like the 472 years
452
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:36,276
Taught you nothing, darling?
Okay, all right, pal.
453
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:37,807
(laughs)
454
00:19:37,807 --> 00:19:39,679
What do you think's
Gonna happen next year?
455
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,680
Oh, pretty straightforward.
456
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,652
I think we worked out
All the kinks.
457
00:19:42,652 --> 00:19:43,953
You know what?
I think you're right.
Yeah.
458
00:19:43,953 --> 00:19:46,185
♪♪♪
459
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,817
So we should probably
Go ahead and kiss
460
00:19:47,817 --> 00:19:49,959
So it's not like this thing
Hanging over our heads.
461
00:19:49,959 --> 00:19:51,391
I agree.
462
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:54,364
Fair warning.
463
00:19:54,364 --> 00:19:56,966
I've never
Kissed anyone before, so I'm...
464
00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:58,498
Just a little nervous to--
465
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:03,433
(man) ♪ found a place
I can stay-ay-ay ♪
466
00:20:03,433 --> 00:20:06,736
♪ where I feel sa-a-afe ♪
467
00:20:06,736 --> 00:20:09,679
Wow. Two tongues?
468
00:20:09,679 --> 00:20:11,941
You know it.
469
00:20:11,941 --> 00:20:17,687
♪ and a beautiful day ♪
470
00:20:17,687 --> 00:20:21,351
It's gonna be
An interesting summer.
471
00:20:25,355 --> 00:20:26,926
(beeps)
472
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,998
(lever clicks)
473
00:20:28,998 --> 00:20:31,401
Commandant bill,
I need your assistance.
474
00:20:31,401 --> 00:20:33,663
Bup-bup-bup.
You call me "Commandant bill,"
475
00:20:33,663 --> 00:20:36,466
I turn around
And look for my father. Please.
476
00:20:36,466 --> 00:20:39,539
Look, I'm not your father.
(sighs)
477
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,541
Now how do you get
This damn thing to work?
478
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:45,375
What? Are we gonna "Beam"
Something somewhere? (laughs)
479
00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:47,477
Perhaps you'd like to watch
A bunch of teddy bears
480
00:20:47,477 --> 00:20:49,819
Dance in a tree, hmm?
(chuckles)
481
00:20:49,819 --> 00:20:51,851
Are we really gonna
Do this again?
482
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:54,924
No, this is an urgent toast
To my son.
483
00:20:54,924 --> 00:20:56,826
You shouldn't be
Contacting him.
484
00:20:56,826 --> 00:20:58,728
Well, I'm still his father.
485
00:20:58,728 --> 00:21:02,562
If I can't save him,
At least I can mourn him.
486
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:03,563
(electric whir)
487
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:04,864
(click)
488
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:05,995
Hey, honey,
I'm running late.
489
00:21:05,995 --> 00:21:07,897
I'll call you later, okay?
Okay.
490
00:21:07,897 --> 00:21:09,799
(crunches) ugh!
491
00:21:09,799 --> 00:21:12,402
(mouth full)
God, this is stale!
492
00:21:12,402 --> 00:21:13,503
You know what?
(toast thuds)
493
00:21:13,503 --> 00:21:14,544
Give the bird-kersees
Their toaster back,
494
00:21:14,544 --> 00:21:15,975
Because I'm buying
A brand-new one
495
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:18,608
With the gambling winnings.
496
00:21:18,608 --> 00:21:20,510
Have a great day, babe.
34358
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