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1
00:00:02,033 --> 00:00:04,135
(katie herzig) ♪ hey, na na,
Hey, na na ♪
2
00:00:04,135 --> 00:00:05,506
Morning, juan!
Morning, juan.
3
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,108
♪ hey, na na, hey, hey ♪
4
00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:09,040
Hi, juan!
5
00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:10,181
Hello, juan!
6
00:00:10,181 --> 00:00:12,383
Another saturday he returns.
(grunts)
7
00:00:12,383 --> 00:00:14,485
(sizzling)
Whoo, baby.
8
00:00:14,485 --> 00:00:18,189
Greetings,
Juan the garden maker,
9
00:00:18,189 --> 00:00:19,720
Bringer of flowers,
10
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,292
Cutter of grass.
11
00:00:21,292 --> 00:00:23,124
Max, your burger's ready
When you are.
12
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,396
Oh, no, thanks. Juan's
Gonna teach me how to mow!
13
00:00:25,396 --> 00:00:26,727
(laughs) he loves juan.
14
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,129
Oh, juan's the best.
15
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,661
I'm telling you, larry,
You aliens are missing out, man.
16
00:00:30,661 --> 00:00:32,103
The bacon cheeseburger
17
00:00:32,103 --> 00:00:34,465
Is one of the finest
Joys of life.
18
00:00:34,465 --> 00:00:37,208
You humans are just
Monkeys in tennis shoes.
19
00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:39,740
Larry, what would happen
If you ate food?
I have no idea.
20
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,473
Zabvronians' bodies
Are extremely sensitive.
21
00:00:42,473 --> 00:00:44,345
What are you, afraid?
(scoffs)
22
00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:47,278
You're afraid.
Oh! Marty...
23
00:00:47,278 --> 00:00:50,081
Bok-bok-bok-bok-bok-caw!
I am a higher life form.
24
00:00:50,081 --> 00:00:53,654
Taunts and threats have
No effect on me.
(high-pitched voice)
Larry's afraid. Larry's afraid.
25
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:54,785
Larry's a--
(scoffs) give it here!
26
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,837
No, I don't like it.
27
00:01:06,837 --> 00:01:08,339
(sighs)
28
00:01:08,339 --> 00:01:10,201
(panting)
29
00:01:10,201 --> 00:01:12,072
Great run!
30
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,345
(chuckles) I still don't
Understand why we did it.
31
00:01:14,345 --> 00:01:17,178
(panting) to look good!
32
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,610
But you look terrible,
Like the worst I've ever seen.
33
00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:22,253
Okay. Thanks for that.
34
00:01:22,253 --> 00:01:24,555
(chuckles) no?
35
00:01:24,555 --> 00:01:26,187
Oh... You know what?
36
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,189
I think I'm gonna
Take a bath.
37
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,090
There's nothing like
Stripping down
38
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,323
To what you were born with
And having a good, hot soak.
39
00:01:32,323 --> 00:01:34,195
It really relaxes
The muscles.
40
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:36,167
Well, my muscles
Are not sore.
41
00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:38,299
Would it kill you
To act like they were?
42
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,671
(breathing heavily)
Ouch.
43
00:01:40,671 --> 00:01:42,633
I know, right? (groans)
44
00:01:46,377 --> 00:01:50,181
Stripping down
To what I was born with.
45
00:01:50,181 --> 00:01:51,882
(turns water on)
46
00:01:51,882 --> 00:01:54,385
(whistling)
47
00:01:54,385 --> 00:01:57,148
(water running)
48
00:01:57,148 --> 00:01:59,250
(electricity crackling,
Splash)
49
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:01,592
(gasps)
50
00:02:01,592 --> 00:02:03,123
Wife!
51
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,726
Marty weaver made me
Eat a cow!
52
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:06,797
(water running)
53
00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:08,299
(thud)
54
00:02:08,299 --> 00:02:10,631
Wife!
I demand an audience!
55
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,633
I'm upstairs, larry bird!
56
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,905
Oh. Uh, juan?
57
00:02:14,905 --> 00:02:17,308
When you're done lying
Motionless on the ground,
58
00:02:17,308 --> 00:02:18,869
Perhaps you could come
Round the front
59
00:02:18,869 --> 00:02:21,412
And water the shrubbery.
It's a bit dry.
60
00:02:21,412 --> 00:02:24,775
Juan?
61
00:02:24,775 --> 00:02:30,251
♪♪♪
62
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:33,153
I called 9-1-1.
They're on their way.
63
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,926
Good. Now what the hell, guys?
This is really weird!
64
00:02:35,926 --> 00:02:38,659
I know, right?
We tried to get his attention,
65
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,431
But we don't speak spanish.
Oh...
66
00:02:40,431 --> 00:02:41,932
Oh, my god, don't touch
The body!
67
00:02:41,932 --> 00:02:43,334
You never touch the body!
68
00:02:43,334 --> 00:02:44,565
Well, I think it's
A little late for that.
69
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,937
Guys, juan isn't
Ignoring you.
70
00:02:46,937 --> 00:02:48,869
He's... You know.
71
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,502
Dead.
72
00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:52,643
Dead?
Dead.
73
00:02:52,643 --> 00:02:53,774
Dead.
Well, make him stop.
74
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,206
We can't.
Why not?
75
00:02:55,206 --> 00:02:56,607
Okay, you know what?
76
00:02:56,607 --> 00:02:58,209
Marty, the kids could
Come in any second!
77
00:02:58,209 --> 00:02:59,580
We have a dead man
On our sofa!
78
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,282
He can't stay!
I'm sorry, juan.
79
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,853
Oh, poor juan.
He's gotta go!
80
00:03:02,853 --> 00:03:04,855
Hold on a second,
'cause I find this fascinating.
81
00:03:04,855 --> 00:03:06,817
Do you guys...
Not know what death is?
82
00:03:06,817 --> 00:03:09,520
Of course we do.
Since taking human form,
83
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,223
We die every night
For six hours.
Preferably eight.
84
00:03:12,223 --> 00:03:14,525
And in the morning,
We un-die, refreshed.
85
00:03:14,525 --> 00:03:17,197
Sometimes I die
After mating with jackie.
I die during.
86
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,870
I see.
Sleep! You're talking
About sleep!
87
00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:24,235
This is death, the end of life!
Jackie, stop touching juan!
88
00:03:24,235 --> 00:03:25,936
Okay... Listen up, guys.
89
00:03:25,936 --> 00:03:29,780
For humans, death is it--
The end!
90
00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:33,284
It's like a light burning out
That never comes back!
91
00:03:33,284 --> 00:03:35,316
Hey, guys. Oh, hey, juan.
92
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,247
Thanks for letting me ride
In your cart.
93
00:03:36,247 --> 00:03:37,988
(spanish accent)
No problemo!
94
00:03:37,988 --> 00:03:39,850
(whispers, normal accent)
Oh, my god!
95
00:03:39,850 --> 00:03:42,623
Yep, I did that.
96
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,325
(siren wails)
97
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:46,557
Good-bye, juan.
98
00:03:46,557 --> 00:03:48,499
I don't know why we're waving.
He can't see us.
99
00:03:48,499 --> 00:03:52,263
Because it's sad.
He was a sweet man.
(gate closes)
100
00:03:52,263 --> 00:03:54,365
Yeah, he was.
(sighs)
101
00:03:54,365 --> 00:03:56,236
(clicks tongue and sighs)
102
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,938
Guess we should go
Break the news to max.
103
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,240
Ugh.
Ohh, I don't want to,
Either.
104
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,712
But max loved juan.
Yeah.
105
00:04:01,712 --> 00:04:03,444
You know, they spent
A lot of time together.
106
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,416
Juan let him help
With the watering,
107
00:04:05,416 --> 00:04:07,848
Pulling the weeds,
Emptying the mower bag.
108
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,480
You ever think juan
Might have been
109
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,282
Using our son
For free labor?
110
00:04:11,282 --> 00:04:13,584
Marty, this is a big deal,
Okay?
111
00:04:13,584 --> 00:04:15,386
I mean, max knows
About death,
112
00:04:15,386 --> 00:04:17,688
But he's never had anyone
Close to him pass away.
113
00:04:17,688 --> 00:04:21,292
He has all of his grandparents.
He's never lost a pet.
114
00:04:21,292 --> 00:04:22,933
I mean, not one
That he knows of.
115
00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:24,395
Yeah, we did pull off
116
00:04:24,395 --> 00:04:25,666
That impressive
Hermit crab switcheroo.
117
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:27,998
Wait a minute. Do you think
That we could possibly--
118
00:04:27,998 --> 00:04:29,700
Marty.
Right. That's a bad idea.
119
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:31,342
Yeah.
Okay, we can do this,
You know?
120
00:04:31,342 --> 00:04:33,273
We'll just sit him down,
Have a conversation like we did
121
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,745
With jackie joyner-kersee
And larry bird.
122
00:04:34,745 --> 00:04:36,407
That went well, right?
Yeah.
123
00:04:36,407 --> 00:04:39,380
(screaming)
124
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:42,383
(screaming and sobbing)
125
00:04:43,754 --> 00:04:46,417
(sobbing)
126
00:04:46,417 --> 00:04:48,689
(shouts indistinctly)
127
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,421
(gasps)
128
00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:51,362
Ah, there you are.
129
00:04:51,362 --> 00:04:53,494
Larry, what the hell
Is going on?
130
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:56,567
Oh, I explained death
To the community,
131
00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:58,729
And they asked specifically
When it happens,
132
00:04:58,729 --> 00:05:00,931
And I had to confess
That I did not know,
133
00:05:00,931 --> 00:05:03,303
And it caused a bit of a panic.
134
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,605
Maybe you can clear
Things up?
135
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,377
Well, actually, we need
To talk to max.
136
00:05:06,377 --> 00:05:08,008
Excellent. Community!
137
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,940
(whistles) your attention!
(sobbing continues)
138
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:14,314
Marty weaver will now explain
How death comes--
139
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,916
At a prearranged moment,
140
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,318
When you're physically
And mentally prepared,
141
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,822
And it's always reasonable,
Fair, and painless.
142
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,394
Marty.
143
00:05:24,495 --> 00:05:26,497
(sighs) okay,
Here's the thing.
144
00:05:26,497 --> 00:05:29,830
It's doesn't come
At a prearranged moment, okay?
145
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:33,364
And you're never prepared,
And it is never painless.
146
00:05:33,364 --> 00:05:34,505
(zabvronians gasp)
147
00:05:34,505 --> 00:05:37,408
Maybe you could answer
Some questions.
148
00:05:37,408 --> 00:05:38,839
(gasping)
(marty) yeah, okay, fine.
149
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,512
But just a couple. Uh, you,
The indian one?
150
00:05:41,512 --> 00:05:43,374
Are we going to die?
151
00:05:43,374 --> 00:05:46,617
I don't know. The third
From left, the pants too high?
152
00:05:46,617 --> 00:05:47,948
How do you go on,
153
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,450
Knowing you're going to die?
What's the point?
154
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,822
(sighs)
The point is to enjoy
Life while you can
155
00:05:51,822 --> 00:05:53,784
And not think about
When it's going to end.
156
00:05:53,784 --> 00:05:55,456
It's called denial.
157
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,628
You--up front,
Little man-woman?
158
00:05:57,628 --> 00:05:59,390
What is this denial?
159
00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:00,891
Well, it's keeping
Yourself busy,
160
00:06:00,891 --> 00:06:04,435
Distractions--you know,
Food, shopping, alcohol,
161
00:06:04,435 --> 00:06:05,466
So you don't have to think
About things.
162
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,367
Yeah, yeah, take me,
For instance, okay?
163
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,839
Over half my family
Had heart attacks.
164
00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,541
Does that ever cross
My mind?
165
00:06:10,541 --> 00:06:11,902
Not once!
(laughs)
166
00:06:11,902 --> 00:06:13,574
Instead, he plays
Computer poker
167
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,376
And eats cheeseburgers
With reckless abandon.
168
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,878
Yeah, my heart's so bad,
169
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,150
It practically whistles
When it beats.
It does?
170
00:06:20,150 --> 00:06:22,112
(lowered voice) well, I just
Want to put their mind at ease.
171
00:06:22,112 --> 00:06:23,383
So just go with me.
Oh. Okay.
172
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,384
(normal voice)
I mean, honestly,
173
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,056
If I keep
Stuffing my face like this,
174
00:06:26,056 --> 00:06:28,388
It'll be a miracle if I'm even
Around in five years.
175
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,891
Look, basically,
I'm a dead man walking,
176
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,463
And I'm okay with it.
177
00:06:32,463 --> 00:06:33,964
And he's okay with it.
178
00:06:33,964 --> 00:06:37,428
I'm gonna die.
(pops) big whoop.
Big whoop.
179
00:06:37,428 --> 00:06:39,129
You're gonna die?!
180
00:06:39,129 --> 00:06:42,773
Oh, max, we were going to
Talk to you about this.
181
00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:44,805
(marty grunts)
Not about daddy, about juan.
182
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,507
(voice breaking) there's
Something wrong with juan?
183
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,509
Well, um...
184
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,581
Oh, my gosh! (screaming)
185
00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:52,112
Max!
Oh!
186
00:06:56,186 --> 00:06:57,888
I can't believe juan died.
187
00:06:57,888 --> 00:06:59,920
I don't want
Daddy to die, too.
188
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,692
Honey, that is not
Going to happen.
189
00:07:01,692 --> 00:07:02,993
Yeah, I only said
I had a whistling heart
190
00:07:02,993 --> 00:07:04,795
To make the aliens
Feel better.
191
00:07:04,795 --> 00:07:05,926
But juan died.
192
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,958
That's true, but juan
Was very old.
193
00:07:07,958 --> 00:07:10,130
He was...
194
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,131
Debbie, how old
Was he?
195
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,432
45.
196
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,864
45?! Oh, my god,
197
00:07:13,864 --> 00:07:15,435
He spent a lot of time
In the sun.
198
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,907
Only old people die?
199
00:07:16,907 --> 00:07:18,639
No.
Yes.
200
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,741
Yes.
No.
201
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:21,742
But if you guys die,
202
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,844
I'll be all alone.
203
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,676
Hey, what if I promised you
204
00:07:25,676 --> 00:07:27,878
That we all die
At exactly the same time?
205
00:07:27,878 --> 00:07:29,980
Would that make you
Feel better, sport?
206
00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:31,221
Are you nuts?
207
00:07:31,221 --> 00:07:33,083
How would that
Make me feel better?
208
00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:35,586
Did you just promise our son
A murder/suicide pact?
209
00:07:35,586 --> 00:07:37,087
I'm regretting the choice.
210
00:07:37,087 --> 00:07:38,559
(doorbell rings)
(sighs)
211
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:41,492
Honey, you don't have to
Worry about any of this.
212
00:07:41,492 --> 00:07:43,494
Nobody's going to die.
213
00:07:43,494 --> 00:07:45,165
You're all
Going to die.
214
00:07:46,497 --> 00:07:47,498
(door closes)
What the hell was that?
215
00:07:47,498 --> 00:07:49,139
We got a freaked-out kid
In there.
216
00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:50,741
So sorry to bother you,
217
00:07:50,741 --> 00:07:52,202
But we've come to terms
With your eventual demise,
218
00:07:52,202 --> 00:07:54,144
And we are here
To say farewell.
219
00:07:54,144 --> 00:07:55,506
Appreciate that, jackie,
220
00:07:55,506 --> 00:07:56,807
But you're being
A little ridiculous.
221
00:07:56,807 --> 00:07:58,148
We are being ridiculous?
222
00:07:58,148 --> 00:08:00,180
You're the ones that are
So accepting of death!
223
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,714
Fight it!
Solve the problem!
224
00:08:03,714 --> 00:08:06,056
I've been a problem solver
My entire life.
225
00:08:06,056 --> 00:08:08,519
I'm great at checkers.
I own tetris.
226
00:08:08,519 --> 00:08:09,890
It's simple math.
227
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:12,593
You're capable of being alive.
You die.
228
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:15,025
You should be capable
Of being alive again.
229
00:08:15,025 --> 00:08:16,797
It's not a solvable problem.
230
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,770
The fact is that we were all
Rather taken by surprise
231
00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:22,633
By juan's passing.
(chuckles)
232
00:08:22,633 --> 00:08:23,904
We don't want that
To happen again,
233
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,906
So we must protect ourselves
From future hurt.
234
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,507
So we're thinking
Of becoming friends
235
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,508
With things that don't die,
236
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,541
Like goldfish or dogs.
237
00:08:30,541 --> 00:08:31,542
Did you guys
Do any research
238
00:08:31,542 --> 00:08:33,614
Before you came
To this planet?
239
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,615
I'm just wondering.
240
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,847
You know what?
I got an idea.
241
00:08:36,847 --> 00:08:39,119
Marty, do you know where
They're having juan's funeral?
242
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,751
Yes, because I have
A direct feed
243
00:08:40,751 --> 00:08:43,023
Of all funeral information
That goes right into my head.
244
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,295
Ah!
Okay, you know what,
Heart whistle?
245
00:08:45,295 --> 00:08:48,028
Let's lose
The smart-ass remarks, okay?
246
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,259
It'll be a good thing.
247
00:08:49,259 --> 00:08:51,902
They need to process
What has happened.
248
00:08:51,902 --> 00:08:53,834
And they're not
The only ones.
249
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,907
Tell me something--
250
00:08:56,907 --> 00:08:59,710
How do you know about tetris,
But you don't know about death?
251
00:08:59,710 --> 00:09:02,072
(bell tolls)
All right, now before
We go in,
252
00:09:02,072 --> 00:09:04,544
Remember, this is
A somber event, okay?
253
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,546
So a few ground rules...
A question!
254
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,079
Why are we
Dressed like this?
255
00:09:09,079 --> 00:09:10,881
I don't know.
I specifically told larry
256
00:09:10,881 --> 00:09:12,823
Not to dress that way.
He insisted.
257
00:09:12,823 --> 00:09:14,925
I was told this was
A celebration of juan's life.
258
00:09:14,925 --> 00:09:18,328
We zabvronians always dress
Appropriately for a celebration.
259
00:09:18,328 --> 00:09:19,990
Okay, well, yeah,
My bad.
260
00:09:19,990 --> 00:09:22,663
I did use the term
"Celebration of life."
261
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,695
I did not mean a luau.
262
00:09:24,695 --> 00:09:26,166
Well, I fell silly.
263
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,238
But okay, you know,
It shows that you care,
264
00:09:28,238 --> 00:09:29,940
And that's what
This is about--
265
00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:32,202
Giving the people
Who knew juan
266
00:09:32,202 --> 00:09:35,575
An opportunity to express
How important he was to them,
267
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,047
And then letting those
People know
268
00:09:37,047 --> 00:09:39,079
That even though
Juan is gone,
269
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:42,152
He will live
In their hearts forever.
270
00:09:42,152 --> 00:09:44,014
(organ music playing)
271
00:09:44,014 --> 00:09:47,187
So where are all these people
272
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,860
In whose hearts
Juan will live forever?
273
00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:52,122
Excuse me. Do we have
The wrong time?
274
00:09:52,122 --> 00:09:53,163
Where is everyone?
275
00:09:53,163 --> 00:09:56,126
Mr. Salgado's wife passed
Several years ago,
276
00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:59,099
And his only family is a cousin
Who lives in new brunswick
277
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,801
But couldn't make the trip.
278
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,032
New brunswick?
279
00:10:02,032 --> 00:10:04,074
That's, like,
An hour away.
280
00:10:04,074 --> 00:10:06,677
They weren't close.
281
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:14,044
Juan's death reminds us
How short life is.
282
00:10:14,044 --> 00:10:18,048
But it also reminds us how
Precious every moment can be...
283
00:10:18,048 --> 00:10:19,619
So tell me
About the wooden boat.
284
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,620
Shh.
285
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,992
(whispering)
It's not a boat.
286
00:10:21,992 --> 00:10:25,055
It's a coffin. It's where
Juan's body is buried.
287
00:10:25,055 --> 00:10:27,397
(lowered voice) and is--is part
Of the ceremony
288
00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:29,730
Taking the boat to a lake
To sail it about?
289
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,301
Again, not a boat.
290
00:10:31,301 --> 00:10:33,103
(lowered voice) it actually
Gets buried in the ground.
291
00:10:33,103 --> 00:10:35,105
So you bury
The people you love,
292
00:10:35,105 --> 00:10:37,407
But a moose you just met
You stuff and mount on a wall?
293
00:10:37,407 --> 00:10:39,269
He makes a good point.
294
00:10:39,269 --> 00:10:42,142
This is a good time
For anyone who knew juan
295
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,074
To share some words.
296
00:10:44,074 --> 00:10:46,176
(normal voice)
I'd like to say something.
297
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,922
(exhales)
298
00:10:51,922 --> 00:10:54,654
Juan was important to us.
299
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:59,129
Although we did not know him
For a long time,
300
00:10:59,129 --> 00:11:01,992
He kept our gardens beautiful,
301
00:11:01,992 --> 00:11:07,167
And he was sweet to us,
And we will miss him.
302
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,039
Juan was one of
The first people we met
303
00:11:09,039 --> 00:11:10,300
When we moved here.
304
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:13,243
At first we thought
He was attached to his machine,
305
00:11:13,243 --> 00:11:15,405
Sort of a half-man,
Half-mower.
306
00:11:15,405 --> 00:11:18,178
(laughter)
307
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,880
He once ran over my foot.
308
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,112
Oh, yeah.
(laughs) it hurt!
309
00:11:22,112 --> 00:11:24,885
(laughter)
310
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:27,317
I'm sorry, guys.
I just feel that the energy
311
00:11:27,317 --> 00:11:28,989
Expended here
Will be better spent
312
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,690
Trying to solve
This death thing.
313
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:34,124
This is for you, juan.
(sizzling)
314
00:11:34,124 --> 00:11:35,766
It can't be harder
Than tetris level seven.
315
00:11:35,766 --> 00:11:37,067
Are you kidding me?
316
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:39,299
(amplified voice) what is it
With airplane food?
317
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,803
Aren't forks weird?
318
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,876
Juan was like the father
I never had.
319
00:11:45,876 --> 00:11:47,077
What?
Oh.
320
00:11:47,077 --> 00:11:50,180
Let us sing to him
The song we all know.
321
00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:55,115
♪ I've been working
On the railroad ♪
322
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:58,188
♪ all the live-long day ♪
323
00:11:58,188 --> 00:12:02,092
(all) ♪ I've been working
On the railroad ♪
324
00:12:02,092 --> 00:12:06,096
♪ just to pass the time
Away ♪
325
00:12:06,096 --> 00:12:07,397
(singing fades)
326
00:12:07,397 --> 00:12:09,429
(sighs) if you're sad,
Max, it's okay.
327
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:10,861
Men can cry.
328
00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:12,803
You've seen daddy
Watch the mets.
329
00:12:12,803 --> 00:12:14,104
Thank you, debbie weaver.
330
00:12:14,104 --> 00:12:16,336
You were right.
We do feel better.
331
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,369
Oh. How about you, buddy?
You feel better?
Yeah.
332
00:12:19,369 --> 00:12:22,873
I mean, it's sad, but as long
As I can remember him,
333
00:12:22,873 --> 00:12:25,115
Maybe it's okay I won't get
To see him again.
334
00:12:25,115 --> 00:12:26,877
(larry bird)
Good news, everyone.
335
00:12:26,877 --> 00:12:30,821
I figured out
How to beat death.
336
00:12:30,821 --> 00:12:33,023
Juan has returned.
337
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,290
(whirring)
338
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:42,863
He bought our gardener
Back from the dead.
339
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:44,094
Yes, I did.
340
00:12:44,094 --> 00:12:46,066
I don't understand.
341
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:49,439
All you need to know is,
Larry bird 1, death 0.
342
00:12:49,439 --> 00:12:50,871
I know I complain a lot
343
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,502
About living in this
Cul-du-wack,
344
00:12:52,502 --> 00:12:54,845
But this is the greatest
Thing I've ever seen.
345
00:12:54,845 --> 00:12:56,847
Is juan dead or alive?
346
00:12:56,847 --> 00:12:58,078
Dead.
Alive.
347
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,779
Dead.
Alive.
348
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,882
Husband, I'm not quite sure
How I feel about this.
349
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:05,255
Maybe it's just me,
But juan seems a little bit...
350
00:13:05,255 --> 00:13:06,386
Different.
351
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:09,389
(sputtering and whirring)
352
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,121
No, no, he's as good
As new.
353
00:13:11,121 --> 00:13:13,523
Really?
Is that what you think?
354
00:13:13,523 --> 00:13:16,396
(whirring continues)
355
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,368
What's our policy
On facebooking this?
356
00:13:18,368 --> 00:13:20,170
Hey, what's everyone
Looking at?
357
00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:22,102
A ladybug!
Can I see?
358
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,433
No! Flew away!
359
00:13:23,433 --> 00:13:25,836
Amber, I know you want to
Play dollies with abby,
360
00:13:25,836 --> 00:13:27,978
Your mother says,
Not asking, but commanding.
361
00:13:27,978 --> 00:13:30,941
Ah, yes. Why bear witness
To a resurrection
362
00:13:30,941 --> 00:13:33,914
When there are dolls
To be played with?
363
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,847
Larry, what the hell
Did you do to him?
364
00:13:36,847 --> 00:13:38,388
What does it matter?
He's back.
365
00:13:38,388 --> 00:13:40,520
I thought when someone died,
You never saw them again.
366
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,352
Hold on a second, max.
I'm confused.
367
00:13:42,352 --> 00:13:44,254
Honey, mommy and daddy are
Trying to fix something.
368
00:13:44,254 --> 00:13:45,856
Fixed it!
Somebody answer me!
369
00:13:45,856 --> 00:13:47,357
This is not natural, larry.
370
00:13:47,357 --> 00:13:49,199
Well, neither is most
Of the food that you eat,
371
00:13:49,199 --> 00:13:50,530
But you seem to enjoy that.
372
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,232
(whirring stops)
He's got a point.
373
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,064
Don't bring my food into this!
You eat like an animal.
374
00:13:54,064 --> 00:13:55,405
Hey, juan.
375
00:13:55,405 --> 00:13:57,567
I'm confused about
A bunch of things.
376
00:13:57,567 --> 00:13:59,940
Will you answer
Some questions?
377
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:03,273
Are you dead?
Did you meet god?
378
00:14:03,273 --> 00:14:04,844
Did you go to heaven?
379
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,047
Did it hurt?
Was it dark?
380
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,949
Did you see my hermit crab?
381
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,450
My parents say
It's the same one,
382
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,482
But I'm suspicious.
383
00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:14,584
(lawn mower whirring)
Does everyone die?
384
00:14:14,584 --> 00:14:17,127
Does no one die?
You died.
385
00:14:17,127 --> 00:14:19,359
Is my dad going to die?
386
00:14:21,591 --> 00:14:23,934
Okay, larry, I know
Tempers are high,
387
00:14:23,934 --> 00:14:26,296
But it is not appropriate to
Call my husband a poopy-head.
388
00:14:26,296 --> 00:14:27,867
Well, he is.
I am not.
389
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,500
Are, too.
Larry, you have to put juan
Back the way he was.
390
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:32,872
Look, I have solved
The problem of death.
391
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,644
Accept it as a gift.
Larry bird, you need
To tell them the truth.
392
00:14:34,644 --> 00:14:37,147
What is the truth?
That your husband
Is a poopy-head.
393
00:14:37,147 --> 00:14:39,079
Larry herbert walker bird!
394
00:14:40,310 --> 00:14:41,551
He hasn't solved anything.
395
00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:42,983
He doesn't even know
How he did it.
396
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,584
I do know how I did it!
397
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,156
I just can't do it again.
398
00:14:46,156 --> 00:14:48,458
(jackie joyner-kersee sighs)
Larry, what are you
Talking about?
399
00:14:48,458 --> 00:14:51,361
(breathes deeply)
Before I came to this planet,
400
00:14:51,361 --> 00:14:53,623
My father gave me
One vial of medicine,
401
00:14:53,623 --> 00:14:55,565
And he told me,
Should the worst happen,
402
00:14:55,565 --> 00:14:57,167
Only then should I use it.
403
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:59,269
And I didn't know
What he was talking about
404
00:14:59,269 --> 00:15:00,430
Until juan died.
405
00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:03,203
(gasps) larry,
You only had one,
406
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:04,674
And you used it on juan?
407
00:15:04,674 --> 00:15:06,476
You used it on juan?
408
00:15:06,476 --> 00:15:08,438
It just happened!
409
00:15:08,438 --> 00:15:11,942
I was... (sighs) standing
Next to juan's coffin boat--
410
00:15:11,942 --> 00:15:14,084
Again, not a boat.
Not the time.
411
00:15:14,084 --> 00:15:17,517
And this indescribable wave
Of emotion came over me, and--
412
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:20,190
Oh, larry, it's called
Sadness.
413
00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:21,591
It's natural.
414
00:15:21,591 --> 00:15:23,423
Just what came after was not.
415
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,554
No, I didn't feel sad.
416
00:15:24,554 --> 00:15:27,227
I felt powerless.
417
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:29,199
Yes.
418
00:15:29,199 --> 00:15:32,162
I, the great larry bird,
419
00:15:32,162 --> 00:15:34,204
Powerless.
420
00:15:34,204 --> 00:15:37,467
(breathes deeply)
421
00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:39,109
Really? Nothing?
422
00:15:39,109 --> 00:15:41,011
Powerless, yeah.
Shocking.
I can't believe it. Wow.
423
00:15:41,011 --> 00:15:42,512
(sighs) the thing is,
424
00:15:42,512 --> 00:15:45,345
My husband and I still
Don't quite understand
425
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,117
How these bodies work.
426
00:15:47,117 --> 00:15:49,619
Since taking human form,
We now sleep.
427
00:15:49,619 --> 00:15:52,622
What if we now also...
Die?
428
00:15:52,622 --> 00:15:54,384
Oh.
429
00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:55,525
Okay. Mm.
430
00:15:55,525 --> 00:15:58,528
Excuse me. Young max weaver
Is sitting on your roof.
431
00:15:58,528 --> 00:15:59,689
What?
432
00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:01,161
(door opens)
433
00:16:02,993 --> 00:16:05,495
Max, what are you doing
Up there?!
434
00:16:05,495 --> 00:16:07,267
Nobody will talk to me.
435
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:11,501
I'm confused. I have questions.
And I'm 8.
436
00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:13,503
I want to talk to mommy now.
437
00:16:13,503 --> 00:16:15,575
(debbie) all right, max,
Mommy's coming.
438
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,978
(crickets chirping)
439
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,412
Hey. You guys okay?
440
00:16:22,412 --> 00:16:24,554
You've been out here
A long time.
441
00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:26,086
Max and I
Have been hanging.
442
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,257
Uh-huh.
443
00:16:27,257 --> 00:16:28,618
Talking about how--
How all this
444
00:16:28,618 --> 00:16:33,263
Has been confusing
And how death is confusing.
445
00:16:33,263 --> 00:16:35,025
But he's calmer now.
446
00:16:35,025 --> 00:16:37,627
And I told him that tonight
He can ask us
447
00:16:37,627 --> 00:16:40,300
Anything he wants to
About all of this,
448
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,671
And that we would try
To answer truthfully,
449
00:16:41,671 --> 00:16:43,103
Even if it's sad.
450
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,604
Yeah? That make you
Feel better, kiddo?
451
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,076
Yeah.
452
00:16:46,076 --> 00:16:47,607
Okay, so why don't you
Head on inside,
453
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,709
You get ready for bed,
454
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,211
And then we'll come in
And we'll have
455
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,143
A nice, long conversation
About death,
456
00:16:53,143 --> 00:16:56,186
And then it's off
To dream land.
457
00:16:56,186 --> 00:16:58,588
Hmm. (kisses) see you
In there, buddy.
458
00:16:58,588 --> 00:17:00,120
Just be careful.
Okay.
459
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,123
All right. Ready?
On 3. 1, 2, 3!
460
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,554
Oopsie-daisy!
461
00:17:04,554 --> 00:17:05,625
Oy.
462
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,430
You okay?
463
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:15,135
Marty, I don't like that you
Eat cheeseburgers every day,
464
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,807
And that you make jokes
About your whistling heart.
465
00:17:17,807 --> 00:17:19,709
I don't want you
To end up like juan
466
00:17:19,709 --> 00:17:22,742
Before larry got to him--
Or after, for that matter.
467
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:26,316
All right, listen to me,
Okay? (sighs)
468
00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:29,479
There's something
That you need to know.
469
00:17:29,479 --> 00:17:31,681
I'm not going anywhere.
470
00:17:31,681 --> 00:17:35,725
It would take
A team of navy s.E.A.L.S.
471
00:17:35,725 --> 00:17:38,328
With a team of real seals
472
00:17:38,328 --> 00:17:40,160
To drag me away from
You and the kids.
473
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,591
Okay?
474
00:17:41,591 --> 00:17:43,793
Okay. But promise me
You'll try
475
00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:45,765
To eat a salad
Every once in a while,
476
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,437
And maybe you'll jog
With me.
477
00:17:47,437 --> 00:17:49,569
I cross my whistling heart.
(groans)
478
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,771
Okay, that's not even funny.
I-I'm gonna stop saying that.
479
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,403
Last time. Okay.
(kisses)
480
00:17:53,403 --> 00:17:59,149
(man) ♪ sit in the dark
And tell me your secrets ♪
481
00:17:59,149 --> 00:18:04,614
♪ it starts in my head,
Always teasing ♪
482
00:18:04,614 --> 00:18:10,690
♪ turn the key
And lock the cellar door ♪
483
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,292
You okay?
484
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,693
You've been out here
485
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,495
Ever since you put juan
In the shed for the night.
486
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,767
(inhales) I'm fine.
487
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:21,601
Okay.
488
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,373
(sighs) you know, I get you.
489
00:18:23,373 --> 00:18:25,535
I mean, sometimes
The best thing you can do
490
00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:28,178
After a crazy day like this
491
00:18:28,178 --> 00:18:30,810
Is just sit on the curb
492
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,842
And let the night
Wash over you.
493
00:18:32,842 --> 00:18:35,785
Marty, I don't know
If you... (sighs)
494
00:18:35,785 --> 00:18:37,787
It's just--
495
00:18:37,787 --> 00:18:40,820
I've always been able
To solve any problem.
496
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,353
And we were prepared
For some uncertainty
497
00:18:43,353 --> 00:18:44,794
When we came to this planet.
498
00:18:44,794 --> 00:18:48,658
And my children really
Don't know this world.
499
00:18:48,658 --> 00:18:50,560
And...
500
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,263
If anything should happen
501
00:18:53,263 --> 00:18:55,305
To jackie and me--
502
00:18:55,305 --> 00:18:58,868
Not that it can or will,
But as a father, it...
503
00:18:58,868 --> 00:19:00,640
Hey. Hey.
504
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,313
Your children will be
Taken care of.
505
00:19:03,313 --> 00:19:04,844
Okay?
506
00:19:07,777 --> 00:19:09,279
Thank you.
507
00:19:09,279 --> 00:19:10,880
♪♪♪
508
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,353
(sighs)
509
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,884
You should
Probably know that
510
00:19:14,884 --> 00:19:16,656
If anything happens to you
And debbie, jackie and I--
511
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,428
My sister's on it.
512
00:19:18,428 --> 00:19:20,230
So it's okay.
513
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:22,732
♪ won't you ♪
But--but thank you.
Thanks.
514
00:19:22,732 --> 00:19:24,364
♪ tell me your story? ♪
515
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,740
Okeydokey, it's time.
516
00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:34,574
So, uh, hey, buddy.
It's time.
517
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:37,507
Huh? Off to new brunswick.
518
00:19:37,507 --> 00:19:40,510
I think your cousin's gonna be
Pretty surprised to see you.
519
00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:43,353
You got enough, uh,
Cash to last?
520
00:19:43,353 --> 00:19:46,556
I know that larry was
Very generous.
521
00:19:46,556 --> 00:19:47,887
(brakes hiss and squeak)
522
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:51,190
Okay. Here you go.
(sighs)
523
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,922
Ahh.
524
00:19:52,922 --> 00:19:58,368
I envy you the adventure
That awaits you,
525
00:19:58,368 --> 00:19:59,529
Juan salgado.
526
00:19:59,529 --> 00:20:01,801
Be good.
Enjoy the world.
527
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:05,735
Remember, I was only able
To do this once.
528
00:20:05,735 --> 00:20:07,407
Earn it.
529
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,310
All right. Okay.
All right.
530
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,541
Let him go now.
He's gotta go.
531
00:20:11,541 --> 00:20:13,443
Okay.
532
00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:17,617
(doors hiss)
533
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:18,948
(doors close)
534
00:20:22,652 --> 00:20:24,524
Marty, about the guardianship
Of your children--
535
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:25,755
How many people
Are ahead of us?
536
00:20:25,755 --> 00:20:27,957
Pretty much everyone we know
Would have to die.
537
00:20:27,957 --> 00:20:29,559
Oh, so we have a chance?
38660
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