All language subtitles for The Neighbors (2012) S01E08 Thanksgiving is for the Bird-Kersees (1080p AMZN Webrip x265 10bit EAC3 5.1 - TheSickle)[TAoE]_track3_[eng]
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,073 --> 00:00:03,504
My name is debbie weaver.
This is my family.
2
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,106
This is our old apartment
In bayonne, new jersey.
3
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,638
My husband marty
Got us a deal on a town house.
4
00:00:07,638 --> 00:00:10,041
Nicer neighborhood,
Wider streets.
5
00:00:10,041 --> 00:00:11,682
Just one little problem--
6
00:00:11,682 --> 00:00:14,115
Our neighbors are all
From another planet...
7
00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:15,416
Literally.
8
00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:22,053
Hey, hon. I'm making
Shelf room for the turkey.
9
00:00:22,053 --> 00:00:25,056
Do me a favor.
Come here. Taste this.
10
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,059
Went bad, right?
Definitely.
11
00:00:28,059 --> 00:00:29,330
I knew it.
And thank you.
12
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,102
What could be more american
13
00:00:31,102 --> 00:00:33,204
Than eating food
To make room for more food?
14
00:00:33,204 --> 00:00:35,236
Happy day-before-
Thanksgiving, babe.
15
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,567
Don't remind me.
16
00:00:36,567 --> 00:00:38,169
(mouth full)
Listen, it's gonna be great.
17
00:00:38,169 --> 00:00:39,540
(mouth full) no. It's gonna be
Like every other year,
18
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,412
Where your father's gonna make
You feel small and worthless,
19
00:00:41,412 --> 00:00:43,414
And your mother's gonna
Judge everything I do.
20
00:00:43,414 --> 00:00:46,217
And I just dipped this chicken
Wing into the cake icing.
21
00:00:46,217 --> 00:00:48,048
Do you think I'm getting
Diabetes right now?
22
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,321
Look, my pop has nothing
To rag on me about this year.
23
00:00:50,321 --> 00:00:52,553
We got the new house
To brag about, right?
24
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,554
I got the promotion.
25
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,426
Not wearing
The goatee anymore.
26
00:00:55,426 --> 00:00:56,827
I hated the goatee.
27
00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:58,429
Yeah, bring it on, daddy.
(door opens)
28
00:01:00,231 --> 00:01:02,163
Oh, is that a new painting?
29
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:03,294
I don't like it.
30
00:01:03,294 --> 00:01:05,666
Yeah. What's up, larry?
Oh, it's nothing.
31
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,399
Jackie joyner-kersee has merely
Wandered out of our community.
32
00:01:08,399 --> 00:01:10,441
Oh, my god.
Is jackie okay?
33
00:01:10,441 --> 00:01:13,144
Perfectly fine.
She's profoundly depressed.
34
00:01:13,144 --> 00:01:14,445
Just this time of year
Reminds her
35
00:01:14,445 --> 00:01:16,076
Of when we arrived
On your planet.
36
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,077
She starts missing her family.
37
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,210
Blah, blah, blah.
Lady feelings.
38
00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:21,282
Anyway, she's wandering around
In a field.
39
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,184
It's kind of our therapy.
40
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:25,656
There she is. Wife!
41
00:01:25,656 --> 00:01:30,121
Enough pouting! Come!
42
00:01:30,121 --> 00:01:32,363
Larry, is this what you do
When you're sad?
No, no.
43
00:01:32,363 --> 00:01:35,326
I'm more of a prober.
44
00:01:35,326 --> 00:01:38,429
Come on, pumpkin!
Step it up!
45
00:01:41,132 --> 00:01:44,135
(crow cawing)
46
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:52,483
♪♪♪
47
00:01:52,483 --> 00:01:54,715
Honey, did you figure out what
You're cooking for tomorrow?
48
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,347
Who cares?
She gonna hate it anyway.
49
00:01:56,347 --> 00:01:58,219
I won't hate it,
I just won't like it.
50
00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,550
Hey. She meant grandma.
51
00:01:59,550 --> 00:02:00,891
Now apologize
To your mother.
52
00:02:00,891 --> 00:02:03,254
I'm sorry I don't like
Your bad cooking.
53
00:02:03,254 --> 00:02:04,555
You know my mom
Likes traditional, hon,
54
00:02:04,555 --> 00:02:06,497
So don't even overthink it.
Oh, okay.
55
00:02:06,497 --> 00:02:08,829
So when she takes the tiniest
Bite of the tiniest wing,
56
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,601
And she makes that face,
And she says to me,
57
00:02:10,601 --> 00:02:11,702
"Maybe next year, dear,"
58
00:02:11,702 --> 00:02:13,234
I won't overthink that, either.
59
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:16,167
Do we have to wear
Her stupid sweaters?
60
00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:18,369
Hey, if I have to make her
A turkey that she hates,
61
00:02:18,369 --> 00:02:20,641
Then you can wear the sweaters
That she's made for you.
62
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,373
Why don't you just
Make the turkey
63
00:02:22,373 --> 00:02:24,175
How she likes it for once?
64
00:02:24,175 --> 00:02:26,146
Don't you think
I've tried that, abby?!
65
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,218
It's just a turkey!
66
00:02:27,218 --> 00:02:28,219
Whoa! Hey!
67
00:02:28,219 --> 00:02:29,720
Come on.
What's happening here?
68
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,552
They didn't even get here,
And we're going nuts, huh?
69
00:02:36,227 --> 00:02:38,429
Why don't we just
Not have them come this year?
70
00:02:38,429 --> 00:02:40,861
Don't tease me,
Martin weaver.
71
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:43,194
Don't you dare tease me.
72
00:02:43,194 --> 00:02:45,766
We deserve a nice thanksgiving,
Just the five of us,
73
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,238
Eating whatever we want.
74
00:02:47,238 --> 00:02:50,401
Say it again,
You sweet, sweet man!
75
00:02:50,401 --> 00:02:51,672
(laughs) yes!
76
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,904
Wait. I know
What we should do!
77
00:02:53,904 --> 00:02:56,247
Let's deep-fry a turkey!
78
00:02:56,247 --> 00:02:58,779
Max, yes.
79
00:02:58,779 --> 00:02:59,910
You are brilliant!
80
00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:02,213
I don't care
What the testing says!
81
00:03:02,213 --> 00:03:04,885
An in-law-free,
Deep-fried thanksgiving!
82
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,287
Whoo!
Wait.
83
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:07,858
What did the testing say?
84
00:03:07,858 --> 00:03:09,860
Oh...
Yeah! We're gonna do it!
We're doing it!
85
00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:12,393
I am canceling my parents!
I'm a hero, honey.
86
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,295
I am a hero--
(crack)
87
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,666
Ooh. Oh.
88
00:03:15,666 --> 00:03:18,269
Get him--get him.
Take him from me.
Okay. Quick.
89
00:03:18,269 --> 00:03:19,300
(max) sorry.
All right.
90
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,302
Okay.
91
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:22,833
High five.
Yeah!
92
00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:25,806
(laughs) ha...
93
00:03:27,738 --> 00:03:29,840
Hello. What?
94
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,543
Yeah, dad, listen,
I got... I got some bad news.
95
00:03:32,543 --> 00:03:35,686
Theresa, come here.
It's marty with bad news.
96
00:03:35,686 --> 00:03:38,789
What's wrong?
Oh, you look puffy.
97
00:03:38,789 --> 00:03:40,251
Yeah, thanks, mom.
98
00:03:40,251 --> 00:03:42,293
Listen, I hate to do this to
You guys on such short notice,
99
00:03:42,293 --> 00:03:44,525
But, um, thanksgiving?
100
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,697
We have to cancel.
101
00:03:46,697 --> 00:03:48,228
Because debbie
Just texted me
102
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,432
That the, um,
The oven is broken.
103
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,404
(lowered voice)
If her turkey's any indication,
104
00:03:53,404 --> 00:03:55,235
It's been broken
For 18 years.
105
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,637
We both know
What this is about.
106
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,509
He's just embarrassed
To show us the new house.
107
00:03:58,509 --> 00:04:00,511
You're just covering the screen
With your hand, ma.
108
00:04:00,511 --> 00:04:02,242
I can still hear you.
109
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,874
(normal voice)
We certainly will miss
110
00:04:03,874 --> 00:04:05,916
Debbie's delicious turkey.
111
00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:08,379
Marty.
Marty, what is this?
112
00:04:08,379 --> 00:04:09,750
Is this because
You're embarrassed
113
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,552
Of how small
The new condo is?
114
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:14,385
Look, we can bring our own
Chairs if that's an issue.
115
00:04:14,385 --> 00:04:16,657
Dad, I-I have
My own chairs, okay?
116
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,329
And it's--it's not a condo,
117
00:04:18,329 --> 00:04:19,730
It's--it's a nice
Townhouse.
118
00:04:19,730 --> 00:04:21,261
Sorry.
119
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,693
(lowered voice) I knew
It wasn't a real house.
120
00:04:22,693 --> 00:04:24,395
I just didn't know
What the proper term was.
121
00:04:24,395 --> 00:04:26,567
It is a real house, dad.
It's a real house.
122
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:27,768
(normal voice) then why
Are you so embarrassed
123
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,269
For us to see it?
124
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,402
I'm not embarrassed.
125
00:04:31,402 --> 00:04:32,673
You know what?
126
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:35,906
You come tomorrow. You come see
My nice house. How 'bout that?
127
00:04:35,906 --> 00:04:38,349
Can we bring any chairs?
128
00:04:38,349 --> 00:04:39,350
Whatever you want, ma!
129
00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:40,411
(beeps)
130
00:04:40,411 --> 00:04:43,554
(whirring)
131
00:04:43,554 --> 00:04:45,356
(grunts)
132
00:04:45,356 --> 00:04:46,587
Hey, reggie jackson.
133
00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:50,421
So your mom's still
Pretty depressed, huh?
134
00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:52,893
She really misses
Her sisters this time of year.
135
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:56,697
It must be hard having her
Family all the way back home.
136
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,569
Up home?
137
00:04:58,569 --> 00:05:00,070
Oh, no. They're here.
138
00:05:00,070 --> 00:05:01,772
In the neighborhood?
Mm-hmm.
139
00:05:01,772 --> 00:05:04,475
Boys, it is forbidden
To discuss the exiled ones.
140
00:05:04,475 --> 00:05:06,507
Jackie,
You have sisters here?
141
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,308
Yes, I do.
142
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,711
However, my husband
Does not like my sisters.
143
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:11,942
You can say that again.
144
00:05:11,942 --> 00:05:14,485
Fine. However, my husband
Does not like my sisters.
145
00:05:14,485 --> 00:05:16,717
Well, I guess no matter
What galaxy you're from,
146
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,088
In-laws are tough.
147
00:05:18,088 --> 00:05:20,320
Mother, I wish
I could cheer you up.
148
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,022
I know, my son.
149
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,924
But there is no magical event
150
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,926
Which brings families together
To enjoy one another
151
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,498
While being thankful
For what they do have
152
00:05:27,498 --> 00:05:28,699
As opposed
To what they do not.
153
00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:32,463
(sighs)
154
00:05:33,864 --> 00:05:36,367
Ugh. You're killing me.
155
00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:41,772
Babe, we gotta talk.
156
00:05:41,772 --> 00:05:43,013
Marty, whatever you do,
157
00:05:43,013 --> 00:05:45,115
Do not google
"Deep-fried turkey disasters."
158
00:05:45,115 --> 00:05:47,047
Remember when we googled
"Tongue bumps"?
159
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,048
It's worse.
160
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,680
Look, I did something.
161
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:50,981
I did something, too.
162
00:05:50,981 --> 00:05:52,052
I invited my parents.
I invited the bird-kersees.
163
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,524
No!
What?!
164
00:05:53,524 --> 00:05:54,525
Me no? You no!
165
00:05:54,525 --> 00:05:56,527
What happened
To just us?
166
00:05:56,527 --> 00:05:58,759
Okay, how are you gonna explain
The bird-kersees to your folks?
167
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,791
Well, you know, they're--they're
Better at blending in now.
168
00:06:00,791 --> 00:06:02,493
And when my parents
See a white guy
169
00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:04,064
With a black lady,
An asian kid, and a redhead,
170
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,136
They're not gonna be much
Into conversation, so...
171
00:06:06,136 --> 00:06:08,569
At last, an upside
To racism.
Yeah.
172
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,941
But I won't give up
My deep-fried turkey. I won't.
173
00:06:10,941 --> 00:06:12,603
Look, no one's
Asking you to.
174
00:06:12,603 --> 00:06:14,475
But we wanted
This perfect thanksgiving.
175
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,947
Now we might just have to
Settle for "Fine."
176
00:06:16,947 --> 00:06:18,449
Think we can do that?
177
00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:19,910
Marty,
We live in new jersey.
178
00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:22,553
I drive a minivan.
I'm built for fine.
179
00:06:22,553 --> 00:06:23,714
And now we know
What to expect,
180
00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:24,715
So there's no more
Surprises, right?
181
00:06:24,715 --> 00:06:27,387
Nope. No more surprises.
182
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,089
(reggie jackson)
Father would be furious
183
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,462
If he knew what
We were doing.
184
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,866
(cart powers down)
185
00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:39,730
(whirs)
186
00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:40,831
(beeps)
187
00:06:53,544 --> 00:06:55,646
Brian boitano.
Greg louganis.
188
00:06:55,646 --> 00:06:58,418
We must see the prisoners.
Do you have
Written orders?
189
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,692
Oh, of course, greg.
Come closer.
190
00:07:01,692 --> 00:07:04,725
(slap)
(grunts)
There's your written order!
191
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:08,098
I'm the commander's son!
I am the law!
192
00:07:08,098 --> 00:07:10,461
Open it!
193
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,664
(beeps, whirring)
194
00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:20,741
Ladies...
195
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,012
Although you've been exiled
196
00:07:22,012 --> 00:07:24,014
For attempting to overthrow
My father,
197
00:07:24,014 --> 00:07:25,516
Our mother misses you.
198
00:07:25,516 --> 00:07:27,618
Therefore, we come
Neither as judge nor friend,
199
00:07:27,618 --> 00:07:29,480
But with a question...
200
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,652
Want to come to thanksgiving?
201
00:07:32,883 --> 00:07:34,625
(crinkling)
202
00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:43,634
Okay. Gammy and pop-pop
Just pulled in.
203
00:07:43,634 --> 00:07:45,996
Kids, mommy apologizes now
For everything she says.
204
00:07:45,996 --> 00:07:47,498
(doorbell rings)
205
00:07:47,498 --> 00:07:48,499
Here we go.
206
00:07:48,499 --> 00:07:49,570
(door opens)
207
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,241
H-hey!
Hey!
208
00:07:51,241 --> 00:07:53,644
You know, you got a crack
In the pavement out here.
209
00:07:53,644 --> 00:07:54,805
What's that smell?
210
00:07:54,805 --> 00:07:57,578
And so it begins. Hi!
211
00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:58,909
Hi, gammy! Hi, pop-pop!
212
00:07:58,909 --> 00:08:01,752
(laughs)
Prettiest girl in the family
By a mile!
213
00:08:01,752 --> 00:08:03,684
Thanks.
Thanks.
214
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,687
So, pop, I told you
The house was nice, huh?
215
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,188
Let me give you the tour.
216
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,160
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
217
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,822
I just took it.
218
00:08:11,822 --> 00:08:14,695
Maybe a nice cold beer could
Take a tour of my mouth.
219
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:17,267
Right.
220
00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:19,229
Who's ready for a sweater?
221
00:08:19,229 --> 00:08:22,733
I got the patterns from
Rosie o'donnell's craft book.
222
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:27,207
For a lesbian crackpot, she does
Have some darling ideas!
223
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,879
Awesome!
224
00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:31,511
I always wanted to wear
Genocide.
225
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,014
And, maxy,
Here's your sweater.
226
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,786
And for my abby,
227
00:08:35,786 --> 00:08:39,590
I made the most
Special sweater.
228
00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:43,694
(beeping and gobbling)
229
00:08:43,694 --> 00:08:45,926
Here you go, pop.
230
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,728
What the hell is this?
231
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,900
It's a microbrew.
The best money can buy.
232
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:51,632
(scoffs) microbrew.
233
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:54,565
So I guess you're a raging
Liberal now, too, huh?
234
00:08:54,565 --> 00:08:56,567
Yeah, I don't even know
How to connect the dots
235
00:08:56,567 --> 00:08:58,639
On that one, dad, so...
(knock on door)
236
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:02,272
Uh-oh, son. You got
Some jehovahs at the door.
237
00:09:02,272 --> 00:09:04,575
They're our neighbors, dad.
Be nice.
238
00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:06,316
Come on in.
239
00:09:06,316 --> 00:09:09,580
This is my dad dominick.
Hello.
240
00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:11,752
Greetings, marty's father.
241
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,323
I am neighbor larry bird.
242
00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:15,986
My wife, jackie joyner-kersee,
And my two sons,
243
00:09:15,986 --> 00:09:19,129
Reggie jackson
And dick butkus.
244
00:09:19,129 --> 00:09:21,662
Where are you folks from?
245
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,663
Florida.
Downtown.
246
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:23,764
I look asian.
247
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,335
My biological mother
Was a redhead.
248
00:09:26,336 --> 00:09:28,138
I have often wanted to meet
The man
249
00:09:28,138 --> 00:09:29,800
Who birthed my friend marty.
250
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,702
Ah! You hear that, marty?
Someone actually wants
251
00:09:31,702 --> 00:09:33,243
To spend thanksgiving
With me.
252
00:09:33,243 --> 00:09:35,205
Strong, commanding,
And funny.
253
00:09:35,205 --> 00:09:37,908
(chuckles)
I like you, larry bird.
254
00:09:37,908 --> 00:09:40,350
I bet you don't drink
No new age nonsense beer,
255
00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:42,582
Neither, huh?
Appalling grammar aside,
256
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,054
I'm grateful I appear
To be winning.
257
00:09:44,054 --> 00:09:47,618
(dominick chuckles)
Oh! Well, look.
Gang's all here!
258
00:09:47,618 --> 00:09:49,119
Theresa, these are
Our neighbors.
259
00:09:49,119 --> 00:09:53,694
Oh! Colorful. Fun. Hi.
Where are you guys from?
260
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,125
Mexico.
Midtown.
261
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:56,266
My biological mother
Was a redhead.
I'm jewish.
262
00:09:57,928 --> 00:09:59,329
Oh, god.
(doorbell rings)
263
00:09:59,329 --> 00:10:02,372
I believe our surprise guests
Have arrived.
264
00:10:02,372 --> 00:10:04,134
(whispers)
It's your sisters.
My sisters?
265
00:10:04,134 --> 00:10:06,006
Tell me you didn't.
266
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,078
Tell me you didn't
Disobey your father
267
00:10:08,078 --> 00:10:11,381
And invite the greatest
Intergalactic threat
268
00:10:11,381 --> 00:10:12,983
To my reign to this house!
269
00:10:14,384 --> 00:10:15,345
(forced laugh)
270
00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:17,387
So I think we're gonna
Need a second.
271
00:10:17,387 --> 00:10:19,019
Mm-hmm.
Uh, you guys,
272
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,350
Sit down over here.
273
00:10:20,350 --> 00:10:23,323
All righty. Got a deck
Of cards for ya. Okay.
274
00:10:24,294 --> 00:10:26,126
(singsongy) hey!
(singsongy) hey!
275
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,297
I'm jackie's sister.
276
00:10:27,297 --> 00:10:30,300
And I am
Jackie's other sister.
277
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,833
So, questions abound.
278
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,065
There's no time.
Take them back to exile, guards!
279
00:10:35,065 --> 00:10:36,336
Husband, please.
280
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:39,039
Please allow me
To say hello first.
281
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,772
My sisters!
(laughing)
282
00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:44,274
Oh, I missed you two! Ohh!
283
00:10:44,274 --> 00:10:45,415
So he's your sister?
284
00:10:45,415 --> 00:10:47,417
Allow me to explain.
285
00:10:47,417 --> 00:10:49,379
We chose these bodies
Because we learned
286
00:10:49,379 --> 00:10:51,882
The most unique friendships
On your earth
287
00:10:51,882 --> 00:10:53,153
Are between
Of women of color...
288
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,926
And men of prance.
Oh.
289
00:10:55,926 --> 00:10:58,358
Reggie jackson!
You look exactly the same.
290
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,691
How do you do it?
Black don't crack,
291
00:11:00,691 --> 00:11:02,132
But asian
Doesn't even peel.
292
00:11:02,132 --> 00:11:03,233
Blam!
Blam!
293
00:11:03,233 --> 00:11:05,335
I need to speak
To my family alone.
294
00:11:05,335 --> 00:11:07,137
(inhales deeply) debbie weaver,
You may take your family
295
00:11:07,137 --> 00:11:09,800
And go to your basement.
Not happening, larry.
296
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,742
Fine. Then I will
Go to the bedroom
297
00:11:11,742 --> 00:11:13,673
With my adopted, redheaded,
Jewish family
298
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,145
From midtown mexico.
299
00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:18,678
(exhales deeply)
300
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,011
(lowered voice) do you two
Know how dangerous it was
301
00:11:21,011 --> 00:11:22,352
To let them out?!
302
00:11:22,352 --> 00:11:24,214
They thought they were
Doing something nice.
303
00:11:24,214 --> 00:11:26,356
Until you two try
To overthrow me again.
304
00:11:26,356 --> 00:11:28,058
Oh, hooker, please!
305
00:11:28,058 --> 00:11:30,360
It was a misunderstanding!
306
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,163
You two threw me out
Of a second-story window,
307
00:11:33,163 --> 00:11:34,394
Shouting, "We are going
To overthrow you,"
308
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,266
So...
(whispers) hooker, please!
309
00:11:36,266 --> 00:11:38,198
Husband, I love you,
But they are my family,
310
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,831
And it is one day,
And they are staying!
311
00:11:40,831 --> 00:11:44,074
You go, girl!
That's my little sister!
312
00:11:44,074 --> 00:11:45,836
Mm!
313
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:49,379
I hope you two are happy!
314
00:11:49,379 --> 00:11:52,412
Families in conflict--
315
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,845
Amber described
All of this to me.
316
00:11:54,845 --> 00:11:58,188
It's beginning to feel
A lot like thanksgiving.
317
00:11:58,188 --> 00:11:59,920
Hmm.
318
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:03,353
(man) ♪ this thanksgiving day,
Hey! ♪
319
00:12:03,353 --> 00:12:06,056
Fried turkey.
That's not a meal.
320
00:12:06,056 --> 00:12:08,728
It's a prank on god.
321
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,261
(flatly) no, stop, theresa.
Don't go.
322
00:12:11,261 --> 00:12:14,404
She's a hot mess.
Life is too short.
323
00:12:14,404 --> 00:12:16,036
And so are you.
324
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,407
(all) blam! (laughing)
325
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:19,770
So, dad, dad,
Check this out, okay?
326
00:12:19,770 --> 00:12:22,973
It's a 1080p,
54-inch plasma--
327
00:12:22,973 --> 00:12:24,274
Oh, please.
328
00:12:24,274 --> 00:12:25,946
Marty's father,
Would you agree
329
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:28,779
My wife should have chosen
My side over her sisters'?
330
00:12:28,779 --> 00:12:31,121
In an argument,
She should do what you say,
331
00:12:31,121 --> 00:12:34,024
Or you'll wind up like marty,
With his wife calling the shots
332
00:12:34,024 --> 00:12:35,755
And your stones in a jar.
333
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,228
(laughs)
(forced laugh) hey, that's
Real funny, dad. Real clever.
334
00:12:38,228 --> 00:12:40,430
Aah! Make it stop!
(sweater gobbling)
335
00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:42,963
I'm losing my mind!
We have to kill the sweater.
336
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:45,765
♪ hey, mom and dad,
We're so glad ♪
337
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,397
♪ that it's thanksgiving day ♪
338
00:12:47,397 --> 00:12:49,800
Theresa, enough.
It's clean.
339
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,802
We're not operating on it.
340
00:12:51,802 --> 00:12:53,073
Let me help, debbie.
341
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,475
Just because your children's
Hands are dirty
342
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,208
Doesn't mean the table
Has to be.
343
00:12:58,208 --> 00:13:00,911
You know what, theresa?
Come after the turkey,
344
00:13:00,911 --> 00:13:03,283
Come after my table,
But leave my kids alone.
345
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,985
My kids are angels.
346
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,987
(abby) kill it!
Kill that sweater!
(sweater gobbling and beeping)
347
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,318
(pounding)
(amber) kill the sweater!
348
00:13:08,318 --> 00:13:09,960
(abby screaming)
Death to the sweater!
349
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,392
Death to the sweater!
(screaming)
350
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,463
Death to the sweater!
351
00:13:13,463 --> 00:13:15,325
Wife.
Yes?
352
00:13:15,325 --> 00:13:17,097
Marty's father says you
Should listen to me
353
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,798
And get rid of your sisters.
354
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,800
Oh. Well, your wife says
You should give her one day
355
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,333
With her sisters, who she
Hasn't seen in ten years.
356
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:25,335
So whose side are you
Going to take on this?
357
00:13:25,335 --> 00:13:27,007
Definitely marty's father.
(gasps)
358
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,808
(abby) kill it, max!
All you do is complain.
359
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,440
Nothing I do
Is good enough for you.
360
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,482
Not just me, dear.
361
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:35,345
And maybe if you tried
A little harder...
(sighs)
362
00:13:35,345 --> 00:13:37,547
Hey, mom,
Get off her back, okay?
363
00:13:37,547 --> 00:13:40,020
She works harder
Than anyone I know.
364
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,492
She is an incredible mother,
And she's a terrific wife,
365
00:13:42,492 --> 00:13:44,394
And if you can't treat her
With a little bit of respect,
366
00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:45,856
Then maybe you should go.
367
00:13:45,856 --> 00:13:47,527
Fine. I'll be in the car.
368
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,359
At least it's clean.
369
00:13:49,359 --> 00:13:51,962
Whoa, whoa!
370
00:13:51,962 --> 00:13:53,433
You won't stand up
To your wife,
371
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,564
And you talk to your mother
Like that?
(door closes)
372
00:13:54,564 --> 00:13:56,536
Oh, he stands up
To me plenty.
373
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,869
And maybe if you took a break
From criticizing
374
00:13:58,869 --> 00:14:01,341
Everything he does, you could
Say one nice thing to him.
375
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,944
It's nice to come here
And get yelled at.
376
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,116
I'm gonna get
Another lady beer.
377
00:14:06,116 --> 00:14:08,048
Good. Go!
It's a microbrew!
378
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,279
♪ is the turkey... ♪
379
00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:11,051
You just had to invite
Your parents.
380
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,223
Okay, it's my fault.
Always my fault!
381
00:14:13,223 --> 00:14:15,555
♪ hey, mom and dad,
We're so glad ♪
382
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,988
♪ that it's thanksgiving day ♪
383
00:14:17,988 --> 00:14:19,489
Thanksgiving sucks!
384
00:14:19,489 --> 00:14:20,560
♪ hey! ♪
385
00:14:27,397 --> 00:14:30,200
What are you doing,
Debbie weaver?
386
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,904
(mouth full) just puttin' some
Food on my feelings, reggie.
387
00:14:33,904 --> 00:14:35,405
It's what we do.
388
00:14:35,405 --> 00:14:37,507
Why do you let
Marty's mother get to you?
389
00:14:37,507 --> 00:14:41,281
Oh, dick,
That's adult grownup stuff.
390
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,553
Grownup?
She's in the car pouting,
391
00:14:43,553 --> 00:14:45,485
And you're eating
Mirsh-mallow out of a bag.
392
00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:49,459
You're good boys,
393
00:14:49,459 --> 00:14:53,623
So I'm gonna shoot it
To you straight, okay?
394
00:14:53,623 --> 00:14:56,666
Thanksgiving is hell.
395
00:14:56,666 --> 00:14:59,069
The only good parts
Are the day before
396
00:14:59,069 --> 00:15:01,171
When everything is possible,
397
00:15:01,171 --> 00:15:04,274
And the day after
When everyone goes home.
398
00:15:04,274 --> 00:15:08,278
In between, it's just a feast
Of self-loathing gluttony
399
00:15:08,278 --> 00:15:10,540
With a side of shame.
400
00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:14,344
And all you can do is just
Hunker down and accept it.
401
00:15:14,344 --> 00:15:16,016
(bag rustles)
402
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,627
Permission
To board vehicle?
403
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,529
Sure.
404
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:31,561
(grunts)
405
00:15:31,561 --> 00:15:33,303
(door alert chiming)
406
00:15:33,303 --> 00:15:36,436
(grunting)
407
00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:41,211
(continues grunting)
408
00:15:41,211 --> 00:15:42,612
(chiming stops)
(groans)
409
00:15:42,612 --> 00:15:45,445
Are you ready to join us
For turkey ingestion?
410
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,318
(chuckles)
It's sweet of you to ask,
411
00:15:48,318 --> 00:15:49,619
But no.
412
00:15:49,619 --> 00:15:53,253
It's just... Our family
Is complicated.
413
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,025
Why are you so hard on her?
414
00:15:55,025 --> 00:15:57,457
I'm her mother-in-law.
415
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,260
And he's my only son.
I want the best for him.
416
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:03,433
My mother-in-law kept me
On my toes.
417
00:16:03,433 --> 00:16:06,266
And her mother-in-law
Kept her on hers.
418
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,268
That's the game, kid.
419
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:11,701
She takes great care of him,
And you make her feel terrible.
420
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,605
Change the game.
421
00:16:15,605 --> 00:16:17,207
(perry como's
"Prayer of thanksgiving" plays)
422
00:16:17,207 --> 00:16:22,352
(silverware clattering)
♪ we gather together ♪
423
00:16:22,352 --> 00:16:27,387
♪ to ask the lord's blessing ♪
424
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:34,664
♪ he chastens and hastens
His will ♪
425
00:16:34,664 --> 00:16:38,228
(door closes)
♪ to make known ♪
426
00:16:38,228 --> 00:16:39,669
♪♪♪
427
00:16:39,669 --> 00:16:42,502
I hoped there'd be a...
428
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,634
Tiny wing left?
429
00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:47,437
♪ cease them from distressing ♪
430
00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:48,508
(silverware clatters)
431
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:53,243
♪ sing praises to his name ♪
432
00:16:53,243 --> 00:16:58,388
♪ he forgets not his own ♪
433
00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:00,390
(snaps)
434
00:17:00,390 --> 00:17:04,554
(choir)
♪ beside us to guide us ♪
435
00:17:04,554 --> 00:17:08,228
♪ our god with us joining ♪
436
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,260
Actually, debbie,
It's quite good.
437
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:11,331
♪ ordaining ♪
438
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,632
It is? Really?
439
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,104
♪ maintaining his... ♪
440
00:17:14,104 --> 00:17:16,066
(lowered voice)
What's happening?
441
00:17:16,066 --> 00:17:18,638
(whispers) it could be a trick.
Keep your guard up.
442
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,640
You've done a good job here,
Debbie.
443
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,074
In the spirit of giving
And admitting things,
444
00:17:24,074 --> 00:17:26,176
My sister and I
Have something to say.
445
00:17:26,176 --> 00:17:29,079
Larry bird, I guess if looked at
From a certain angle,
446
00:17:29,079 --> 00:17:31,651
I can see how some would say
We owe you an apology.
447
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,124
We never wanted
To overthrow you.
448
00:17:34,124 --> 00:17:35,625
Yes, you did.
Yes, we did.
449
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:39,559
But the truth is, we did it
Because we just never thought
450
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,692
That you were good enough
For our baby sister.
451
00:17:42,692 --> 00:17:43,833
No one is.
452
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:46,436
Oh, that's so sweet.
453
00:17:46,436 --> 00:17:47,667
Have we lost sight
Of the fact
454
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,569
That you threw me
Out of a window?
455
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,641
Sort of burying the lede here.
456
00:17:51,641 --> 00:17:55,645
So, uh, since we all
Seem to be mending fences...
457
00:17:55,645 --> 00:17:58,208
♪ divine ♪
458
00:17:58,208 --> 00:18:01,111
What? What do you want?
459
00:18:01,111 --> 00:18:04,284
You want a sweet sob story
That ends with a big hug?
460
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,685
Fine.
461
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,657
Have I told you all the story
About the time
462
00:18:07,657 --> 00:18:10,590
That marty here struck out
In t-ball?
463
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:15,365
T-ball! Where the ball sits
On a tee, not even moving.
464
00:18:15,365 --> 00:18:17,127
That's just what I needed.
That's perfect.
465
00:18:17,127 --> 00:18:18,498
Happy thanksgiving.
466
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,675
And it's a big ball.
It just sits there.
467
00:18:25,675 --> 00:18:28,278
You--all right.
468
00:18:28,278 --> 00:18:30,610
(voice breaking)
We will miss you.
469
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,482
(voice breaking)
I will miss you, too.
470
00:18:33,483 --> 00:18:35,745
Hold on.
471
00:18:35,745 --> 00:18:37,787
If there's one thing I learned
From that insufferable meal,
472
00:18:37,787 --> 00:18:40,390
It is that family
Is important, I guess.
473
00:18:40,390 --> 00:18:43,493
My wife is... My entire world,
474
00:18:43,493 --> 00:18:45,625
And my world misses her sisters.
475
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:49,799
So, against my better judgment
And sense of self-preservation,
476
00:18:49,799 --> 00:18:52,262
You two are released from exile.
(gasps)
477
00:18:52,262 --> 00:18:53,563
(gasps)
Ohh!
478
00:18:53,563 --> 00:18:54,864
(laughing)
Whoa.
479
00:18:54,864 --> 00:18:57,507
Maybe you are good enough
For our little sister after all.
480
00:18:57,507 --> 00:19:00,510
Really? So you'll stop
Trying to kill me?
481
00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:03,373
Absolutely.
Would you like a sip of wine?
482
00:19:03,373 --> 00:19:04,814
Just touch the glass.
483
00:19:04,814 --> 00:19:08,248
All you gotta do is just
Touch the glass.
484
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,679
(whispers)
Don't touch it.
485
00:19:09,679 --> 00:19:11,251
Touch it!
486
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,452
(gasps)
487
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,285
All right, ma,
We'll see you soon.
488
00:19:15,285 --> 00:19:17,387
I love you.
489
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:22,832
Well... Okay.
490
00:19:22,832 --> 00:19:24,764
Uh-huh.
491
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,736
All right.
Drive safe, dad.
492
00:19:26,736 --> 00:19:28,698
You didn't let me finish
The story.
493
00:19:28,698 --> 00:19:32,242
'cause I know the story, dad.
I struck out in t-ball, okay?
494
00:19:32,242 --> 00:19:34,674
Kids all laughed.
You got disappointed.
495
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,576
Rinse and repeat.
I get it.
496
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,708
Stop cutting me off,
Numb nuts.
497
00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:41,751
You struck out
In frickin' t-ball,
498
00:19:41,751 --> 00:19:43,413
Which is no easy feat.
499
00:19:43,413 --> 00:19:44,754
And everybody was
Laughing at you.
500
00:19:44,754 --> 00:19:46,686
Yeah, I know, dad.
I remember.
501
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,358
Two innings later,
You come up again,
502
00:19:48,358 --> 00:19:50,860
You barely make contact.
A lazy fly ball.
503
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:53,223
You trip on your way
To first base.
504
00:19:53,223 --> 00:19:55,765
I even think your pants fell.
I don't remember.
505
00:19:55,765 --> 00:19:58,197
No. They fell, pop.
This is a great story.
506
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,769
Thanks so much for the trip
Down memory lane.
507
00:19:59,769 --> 00:20:03,202
The point is,
You didn't quit.
508
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,734
You never quit.
509
00:20:04,734 --> 00:20:07,377
The sweet,
Sobby part of the story,
510
00:20:07,377 --> 00:20:11,581
Which you didn't let me finish,
Is that my son never quits.
511
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,445
Even if that means trying
To get his jealous old man
512
00:20:15,445 --> 00:20:19,589
To tell him that he's got
A pretty nice new place here.
513
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,723
You... So you like--
You like the place?
514
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,256
You did good, kid.
515
00:20:26,256 --> 00:20:28,598
(exhales)
(pats back)
516
00:20:28,598 --> 00:20:29,759
Take care of yourself.
517
00:20:29,759 --> 00:20:34,404
(harper simon)
♪ everyone seems so certain ♪
518
00:20:34,404 --> 00:20:35,935
You better crack a window,
Theresa.
519
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,408
It's a long way home, and that
Turkey's going right through me.
520
00:20:38,408 --> 00:20:39,639
Ooh.
(engine starts)
521
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:43,773
♪ everyone's got
A mother and a father ♪
522
00:20:43,773 --> 00:20:47,517
♪ they all seem so sure
They're going far ♪
523
00:20:47,517 --> 00:20:50,450
Congratulations, brother.
You never give up.
524
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,752
♪ there are more wishes
Than stars ♪
525
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,825
Dick butkus,
You changed the game.
526
00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:01,391
(laughing)
What about those sweaters?
527
00:21:01,391 --> 00:21:02,532
Oh!
Oh, my--ohh!
528
00:21:02,532 --> 00:21:05,495
I still hear mine singing.
(debbie and marty laugh)
529
00:21:05,495 --> 00:21:07,637
And p.S.--this fried turkey?
Really bad.
530
00:21:07,637 --> 00:21:09,699
Disgusting.
Ohh!
531
00:21:09,699 --> 00:21:11,871
Greatest thanksgiving ever.
Yes, it was.
532
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,303
(moans)
533
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:16,746
(sniffs) guys?
534
00:21:17,807 --> 00:21:19,679
Something's burning
In the backyard.
535
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,951
The deep fryer! Call 9-1-1!
536
00:21:21,951 --> 00:21:24,484
Uh-huh.
(debbie) you just had to ask us
For a deep-fried turkey!
537
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,617
(max) I'm 8 years old, mom.
Stop indulging me.
39190
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.