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1
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:09,075
"Night of the Living Homeless"
2
00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:12,902
I'm going down to South Park,gonna have myself a time,
3
00:00:12,937 --> 00:00:16,161
Friendly faces everywhere,humble folks without temptation,
4
00:00:16,192 --> 00:00:19,504
I'm goin out to South Park,gonna leave my woes behind,
5
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,851
Ample parking day or night,people spouting howdy neighbor,
6
00:00:22,883 --> 00:00:25,964
I'm heading out to South Park,gonna see if I can't unwind,
7
00:00:26,073 --> 00:00:29,582
I like fucking silly bitches
and I know my penis likes it.
8
00:00:29,617 --> 00:00:32,498
So come on down to South Parkand meet some friends of mine,
9
00:00:35,427 --> 00:00:38,328
All right, this time, it's me and Kenny
versus you two assholes.
10
00:00:38,642 --> 00:00:39,016
Fine.
11
00:00:39,741 --> 00:00:41,785
Oh, dude, what's with
all the homeless people?
12
00:00:46,106 --> 00:00:47,592
Sir, could you
move a little, please?
13
00:00:47,723 --> 00:00:49,035
Spare some change?
14
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,246
Aw, dude, he smells like Kenny's house.
Get out of here!
15
00:00:52,607 --> 00:00:55,264
You guys, that's not cool.
These people have nowhere to go.
16
00:00:58,076 --> 00:01:00,532
They don't have food or shelter.
We have to do something.
17
00:01:00,969 --> 00:01:02,163
Well dude, what are
we supposed to do?
18
00:01:02,198 --> 00:01:03,757
Yeah, what arewe supposed to do?
19
00:01:03,978 --> 00:01:06,532
No, Kyle's right, you guys.
We should do something.
20
00:01:07,396 --> 00:01:08,569
- Really?
- Yeah.
21
00:01:08,797 --> 00:01:10,521
I know what you're thinking, Kyle,
and I'm with you.
22
00:01:10,919 --> 00:01:12,485
I know exactly
what we should do.
23
00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,054
Gather around
and witness the glory
24
00:01:17,103 --> 00:01:19,652
as Eric Cartman attempts
to jump his skateborad
25
00:01:19,657 --> 00:01:20,868
over the homeless.
26
00:01:21,127 --> 00:01:23,349
Thank you, thank you.
The ramp ready?
27
00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:25,119
Yeah, it's all set.
28
00:01:25,766 --> 00:01:26,477
He won't make it.
29
00:01:26,746 --> 00:01:29,832
Excuse me, this isn't exactly
what I had in mind!
30
00:01:29,868 --> 00:01:32,313
All right, here we go!
Jimmy?
31
00:01:41,407 --> 00:01:43,334
Yes! I did it!
32
00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:45,124
I jumped
over the homeless!
33
00:01:45,517 --> 00:01:46,984
- Yes!
- Yes, yes!
34
00:01:46,989 --> 00:01:50,314
- That was a sweet idea, Kyle.
- Goddamnit, that wasn't my idea!
35
00:01:51,337 --> 00:01:53,798
All right, people, we need to come up
with answers.
36
00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:56,058
There are homeless
sprouting up all over town.
37
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,343
What are we
supposed to do?
38
00:01:59,257 --> 00:02:03,053
- Well, I short of had an idea.
- Please, Mr. Valmor.
39
00:02:03,086 --> 00:02:06,858
We could give the homeless all
designer sleeping bags and makeovers.
40
00:02:07,006 --> 00:02:09,197
At least that way,
they'd be pleasant to look at.
41
00:02:10,078 --> 00:02:11,981
- Oh, that's a good one.
- Good idea. I like it.
42
00:02:12,016 --> 00:02:13,293
Well, I was thinking:
43
00:02:14,159 --> 00:02:16,783
We could turn
the homeless into tires
44
00:02:16,816 --> 00:02:20,124
so that we'd still have homeless,
but we could use them, on our cars.
45
00:02:20,538 --> 00:02:22,312
- Oh, that's a good one.
- Nice one, Randy.
46
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:23,801
- Like it.
- That's like recycling.
47
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,161
All right, enough!
48
00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:28,863
I find this whole conversation
to be extremely offensive!
49
00:02:28,896 --> 00:02:33,004
The homeless aren't monsters.
They are people, like you and me!
50
00:02:34,669 --> 00:02:38,013
You mean they've adapted,
copied our DNA.
51
00:02:38,047 --> 00:02:38,948
Excuse me.
52
00:02:39,517 --> 00:02:42,665
I am the top researcher of
homeless studies for Park County.
53
00:02:43,059 --> 00:02:45,293
I don't know why more homeless
people are showing up in town,
54
00:02:45,328 --> 00:02:46,326
but I do know...
55
00:02:46,996 --> 00:02:48,630
that we must
be extremely careful.
56
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:52,356
If we give them anything,
there could be more.
57
00:03:08,436 --> 00:03:08,899
Hi.
58
00:03:10,289 --> 00:03:13,283
I've been saving up for
a new X-Box game but...
59
00:03:13,808 --> 00:03:15,903
but I think you could use the money
a lot more than I could.
60
00:03:17,449 --> 00:03:20,303
Listen, I-I want you to take this.
It's twenty dollars.
61
00:03:23,447 --> 00:03:24,300
Got any more?
62
00:03:26,717 --> 00:03:29,299
No, that's--
I thought that was a lot.
63
00:03:31,457 --> 00:03:32,981
Spare any change?
64
00:03:35,686 --> 00:03:36,591
You're welcome.
65
00:03:50,737 --> 00:03:51,705
Oh crap.
66
00:03:54,797 --> 00:03:55,981
Dude, what are all
these homeless people
67
00:03:56,031 --> 00:03:56,977
doing in front
of your house?
68
00:03:57,308 --> 00:03:58,105
I don't know.
69
00:03:58,175 --> 00:04:00,172
There's a bunch
outside my house too.
70
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:03,302
- Spare any change, sir?
- No! Fuck off!
71
00:04:04,137 --> 00:04:04,818
I don't get it.
72
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:07,340
My dad said as long as nobody
gave them money, they'd move on.
73
00:04:07,689 --> 00:04:09,588
- He did?
- Well, this is bullcrap!
74
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,204
Somebody
has to be responsible.
75
00:04:11,248 --> 00:04:14,458
Well, I kind of gave a homeless guy
twenty dollars last night.
76
00:04:14,659 --> 00:04:15,552
You what?
77
00:04:15,587 --> 00:04:17,389
Oh come on, that can't be
why they're all here.
78
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,782
There has
to be another reason.
79
00:04:18,909 --> 00:04:20,414
Kyle, what were you thinking?
80
00:04:20,447 --> 00:04:23,328
Yeah! I can't possibly jump
these many homeless people.
81
00:04:23,598 --> 00:04:24,599
I won't risk it!
82
00:04:25,087 --> 00:04:26,453
I could jump
two homeless people...
83
00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:27,255
maybe three,
84
00:04:27,546 --> 00:04:30,402
but asking me to jump this many
is asking me to risk my life, Kyle!
85
00:04:30,708 --> 00:04:32,329
I don't want you
to jump them, retard!
86
00:04:35,137 --> 00:04:38,341
- Spare some change?
- No, sorry, I don't have any change.
87
00:04:40,336 --> 00:04:42,656
- Got any change?
- No, sorry.
88
00:04:44,298 --> 00:04:45,735
Can you
spare some change?
89
00:04:48,197 --> 00:04:49,382
Change?
90
00:04:50,017 --> 00:04:51,229
I don't have any change.
91
00:04:52,228 --> 00:04:53,848
- Change?
- No!
92
00:04:54,368 --> 00:04:55,623
Change?
93
00:04:57,686 --> 00:04:58,876
Spare some change?
94
00:04:59,088 --> 00:05:00,824
Leave me alone.
I don't have any change.
95
00:05:01,237 --> 00:05:02,841
All right.
God bless you, sir.
96
00:05:03,338 --> 00:05:05,076
Oh, now I feel bad. Here!
97
00:05:07,148 --> 00:05:09,852
- Change?
- Change?
98
00:05:09,886 --> 00:05:11,650
No, that was really
all the change I had.
99
00:05:12,259 --> 00:05:14,948
- Spare some change?
- I just gave you change!
100
00:05:15,327 --> 00:05:16,535
Change?
101
00:05:23,236 --> 00:05:24,774
I don't have
any more change!
102
00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:34,582
No! I don't have any change!
I don't have any change!
103
00:05:36,407 --> 00:05:37,599
Okay, that'll be great.
104
00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:39,345
Let's also make sure
we have enough chairs
105
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:41,452
in the community center
for everyone to attend.
106
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:47,396
Stay away!
Stay away!
107
00:05:47,808 --> 00:05:49,721
Randy?
Randy, what happened?
108
00:05:51,038 --> 00:05:56,359
I don't have any change!
I don't have any change!
109
00:05:58,099 --> 00:06:01,923
This is a News 5 Special Bulletin,with Chris Swollenballs.
110
00:06:02,239 --> 00:06:05,030
South Park has become overrun
with the homeless.
111
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:07,363
Nearly every square inchof public property
112
00:06:07,398 --> 00:06:08,623
is now riddledwith homeless,
113
00:06:08,638 --> 00:06:11,572
shutting down roadways and makinggetting around impossible.
114
00:06:11,709 --> 00:06:14,087
Many people are trapped
throughout the town.
115
00:06:15,027 --> 00:06:17,197
Help! Help us!
116
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:19,315
Dude, it's our dads.
117
00:06:19,418 --> 00:06:20,434
Oh my God.
118
00:06:20,799 --> 00:06:24,564
In the meantime, South Park citizens
are being advised to stay indoors
119
00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:26,183
and protect their change.
120
00:06:26,917 --> 00:06:28,330
Spare some change?
121
00:06:28,819 --> 00:06:30,731
What the--
You can't be in here.
122
00:06:30,778 --> 00:06:33,867
- You got any change, sir?
- No, I don't have any change.
123
00:06:34,347 --> 00:06:35,170
How did he get in here?
124
00:06:35,566 --> 00:06:37,827
Change?
125
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,345
No, please.
I don't have any change.
126
00:06:40,698 --> 00:06:42,629
Honest I don't.
I don't have any!
127
00:06:46,436 --> 00:06:47,759
You see
what you did, Kyle?
128
00:06:47,817 --> 00:06:49,496
Come on, we have to try
and help our stupid parents.
129
00:06:51,566 --> 00:06:52,368
They're everywhere!
130
00:06:54,546 --> 00:06:55,892
What are you boys doing?
Get in.
131
00:06:58,918 --> 00:06:59,885
Spare any change, sir?
132
00:07:00,636 --> 00:07:01,352
Come on, let's go!
133
00:07:03,928 --> 00:07:05,436
What the hell
were you doing outside?
134
00:07:05,806 --> 00:07:07,694
Our parents are stuck
on top of a building in town.
135
00:07:07,906 --> 00:07:09,169
You aren't getting
into town.
136
00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:11,480
It's completely overrun
with these things.
137
00:07:15,787 --> 00:07:18,142
No! No, I don't need
my windshield cleaned.
138
00:07:18,196 --> 00:07:20,126
Stop it. Stop it!
139
00:07:22,249 --> 00:07:24,610
Look, our only hope is to talk
to the homeless researcher
140
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:25,444
out on Travis Street.
141
00:07:25,677 --> 00:07:27,620
He understands what's going on
better than anybody.
142
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:28,986
Just stick with me, kids.
143
00:07:37,808 --> 00:07:39,729
- Holy shit, dude!
- Over here!
144
00:07:41,757 --> 00:07:42,659
Jump down! Go!
145
00:07:45,417 --> 00:07:47,927
Aw God, it really smells
like Kenny's house down here.
146
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,203
Dude, shut the fuck upabout my house!
147
00:07:50,399 --> 00:07:52,883
Whoa, Kenny, relax dude.
We need to work together.
148
00:07:53,237 --> 00:07:54,853
Come on, we gotta get
to that scientist's house.
149
00:08:07,747 --> 00:08:09,251
No sign of anybody else.
150
00:08:09,928 --> 00:08:11,834
That's it. I'm gonna
make a break for it.
151
00:08:12,216 --> 00:08:15,314
Don't be crazy, Gerald. You'll never
get through all those homeless people.
152
00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:19,058
And even if you did, what then?
You can't drive anywhere.
153
00:08:19,508 --> 00:08:20,512
If I can make it
through them,
154
00:08:20,553 --> 00:08:23,485
maybe I can catch the bus
to Fairplay. I have to try.
155
00:08:23,868 --> 00:08:25,473
You won't make it
through, Gerald!
156
00:08:30,899 --> 00:08:34,833
- Change? Change sir?
- You got some change?
157
00:08:40,268 --> 00:08:42,544
- Don't have any change.
- Change!
158
00:08:44,656 --> 00:08:46,108
Don't have any change.
159
00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:50,213
Damnit! All right,
you want change? Here.
160
00:08:50,942 --> 00:08:53,619
There! There's some change.
All right, a little bit.
161
00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:55,180
There you go.
Take the change.
162
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,574
Oh wait. Wait, now I don't have
any change left for the bus.
163
00:08:59,970 --> 00:09:02,533
Hold on. Can I just get back some
of that change, please?
164
00:09:02,746 --> 00:09:03,582
Change, sir?
165
00:09:03,619 --> 00:09:06,194
Can I have just a little change for
the bus, please?
166
00:09:06,348 --> 00:09:08,724
I need a little...
Anybody have some change?
167
00:09:09,888 --> 00:09:11,505
Change?
Got any change?
168
00:09:17,689 --> 00:09:18,414
What happened?
169
00:09:19,028 --> 00:09:20,495
He's become one of them.
170
00:09:26,703 --> 00:09:28,040
- Change?
- Change?
171
00:09:28,130 --> 00:09:29,587
- I got one.
- You got any change?
172
00:09:38,064 --> 00:09:41,479
- Go away, I don't have any change.
- Are you the head of Homeless Studies?
173
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,087
Yes. Who are you?
174
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,132
We think this may be
our friend's fault.
175
00:09:45,353 --> 00:09:47,186
He gave one of the homeless
twenty dollars yesterday--
176
00:09:47,452 --> 00:09:48,978
Oh my God.
Get in here!
177
00:09:50,567 --> 00:09:51,502
Tell me what's going on?
178
00:09:51,844 --> 00:09:53,334
There's a bunch of people
trapped in the middle of town
179
00:09:53,369 --> 00:09:54,665
surrounded by homeless people.
180
00:09:54,691 --> 00:09:55,608
We can't get to them.
181
00:09:55,973 --> 00:09:58,407
All right, all right, look!
I didn't wanna risk it, but...
182
00:09:58,903 --> 00:09:59,933
I think I know
what to do.
183
00:10:00,624 --> 00:10:03,131
I'll try to jump all those homeless
and get to the people on that roof.
184
00:10:03,543 --> 00:10:05,781
- Jump them?
- I jump the homeless professionally.
185
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,006
If you can get me
a skateboard,
186
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,915
I'll try to jump that homeless crowd
and save those people.
187
00:10:09,293 --> 00:10:11,952
Oh, shut up, Cartman. All you did
was jump over one homeless guy.
188
00:10:12,094 --> 00:10:13,879
I easily could have cleared another
thirty or forty.
189
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:15,715
You barely made it
over one, fatass!
190
00:10:15,914 --> 00:10:16,838
Kyle, enough!
191
00:10:16,873 --> 00:10:19,397
Cartman jumping more homeless people
isn't gonna solve anything right now!
192
00:10:19,654 --> 00:10:22,398
God-damnit! I don't want him
to jump over more--
193
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:26,638
Boys! Boys! I don't think you quite
understand how the homeless function.
194
00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:30,571
Perhaps you should come downstairs.
To my laboratory.
195
00:10:37,863 --> 00:10:41,037
We don't have any change!
Go away!
196
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,134
- Anything, Steven?
- No.
197
00:10:43,341 --> 00:10:45,060
All the phone lines
are completely down.
198
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:57,521
Hello? It's Steve Garrett
from the library.
199
00:10:57,556 --> 00:10:58,665
Please let us in.
200
00:10:59,673 --> 00:11:01,464
Find another place
to hide, Steve!
201
00:11:01,904 --> 00:11:03,590
I have others with me.
202
00:11:03,671 --> 00:11:05,979
We have nowhere else to go.
One woman here is pregnant.
203
00:11:06,451 --> 00:11:07,999
We can't just leave them
out there.
204
00:11:08,204 --> 00:11:10,528
Let us in! For God's sake,
they're coming!
205
00:11:10,846 --> 00:11:13,377
No! No, I'm sorry,
we don't have any change.
206
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:15,289
You have
to let them in, Randy.
207
00:11:15,324 --> 00:11:17,455
There isn't enough food
for more people up here!
208
00:11:17,824 --> 00:11:20,311
Oh God. One of them
is a war veteran.
209
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,288
We're gonna have
to give him some change.
210
00:11:22,573 --> 00:11:26,090
- This isn't happening!
- All right, all right, fine!
211
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,372
Could you spare
some change, sir?
212
00:11:36,561 --> 00:11:39,617
I've dissected several homeless
to see what makes them tick.
213
00:11:40,142 --> 00:11:42,718
Their anotomy is shockingly
similar to ours.
214
00:11:42,961 --> 00:11:45,917
See? Everything is there:
Heart, lungs, kidneys.
215
00:11:46,143 --> 00:11:48,658
They're almost identical
to us in every way.
216
00:11:49,321 --> 00:11:50,544
Except for one.
217
00:11:54,312 --> 00:11:58,443
The homeless can survive
solely on change.
218
00:11:59,612 --> 00:12:00,509
Change?
219
00:12:00,741 --> 00:12:02,581
They feed
on our change.
220
00:12:02,616 --> 00:12:04,559
They need it in order
to keep them moving.
221
00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:06,382
Is that--
Is that some spare change?
222
00:12:06,402 --> 00:12:08,955
Somehow they're able
to take our change
223
00:12:08,990 --> 00:12:11,304
and turn it into
nourishment, sustenance.
224
00:12:11,392 --> 00:12:13,311
- Spare some of that change, sir?
- But now watch.
225
00:12:17,402 --> 00:12:18,670
Spare some change?
226
00:12:20,052 --> 00:12:22,725
It has already completely forgotten
that I've given it change.
227
00:12:23,964 --> 00:12:26,956
It just wants...
more change.
228
00:12:27,574 --> 00:12:28,274
Look over here.
229
00:12:29,571 --> 00:12:32,841
This one I've kept deprived of change
for over three days.
230
00:12:33,334 --> 00:12:35,210
Change?
231
00:12:35,313 --> 00:12:37,103
- What's it doing?
- It's dying.
232
00:12:37,551 --> 00:12:38,345
Cool.
233
00:12:38,641 --> 00:12:40,813
I've learned that
the nearby city of Evergreen
234
00:12:40,848 --> 00:12:43,008
had a homeless problem
just before we did.
235
00:12:43,161 --> 00:12:44,507
And they were able
to stop it.
236
00:12:45,443 --> 00:12:49,289
Excuse me, the front door was open.
Can I borrow some change?
237
00:12:49,582 --> 00:12:50,635
Change?
238
00:12:52,832 --> 00:12:54,058
Oh my God,
they're coming in!
239
00:12:54,502 --> 00:12:56,518
Quick, kids. Get out of here.
You can fit.
240
00:12:58,351 --> 00:12:59,143
What about you?
241
00:12:59,292 --> 00:13:01,522
Get to Evergreen and find out
how they got rid of the homeless!
242
00:13:01,557 --> 00:13:02,420
I'll be all right!
243
00:13:02,812 --> 00:13:04,257
Eh!
Stop pushing, Kenny.
244
00:13:04,563 --> 00:13:07,853
Hello? I'm sorry, I just really
need some change for the bus?
245
00:13:08,303 --> 00:13:10,382
- Change?
- Spare some change?
246
00:13:10,621 --> 00:13:12,601
Stop it!
I really do need change!
247
00:13:12,884 --> 00:13:15,502
- Me too. Change?
- Change?
248
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:18,066
Hello?
Do you have any change?
249
00:13:20,113 --> 00:13:21,829
Sorry to take
the easy way out.
250
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,904
Ow! Oh, fuck!
251
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,633
Ah! God!
252
00:13:58,961 --> 00:14:01,298
No. No, damnit!
253
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:06,338
That's it. That's it, everyone.
We're out of Pop-Tarts.
254
00:14:07,144 --> 00:14:10,527
- No. We can't be.
- Face it, we're gonnna starve!
255
00:14:10,612 --> 00:14:12,431
No, no, wait.
There's still a box over here.
256
00:14:12,576 --> 00:14:13,668
Those are cherry!
257
00:14:14,711 --> 00:14:16,848
Wait, I got a signal!
I got a signal.
258
00:14:17,121 --> 00:14:19,819
- What? You do?
- How? Call the fire department.
259
00:14:19,961 --> 00:14:21,091
I'm calling my wife.
260
00:14:22,534 --> 00:14:24,293
Mary. Mary baby,
are you all right?
261
00:14:24,451 --> 00:14:27,013
- Oh, maybe we're gonna be okay.
- Ask her what's happening.
262
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,024
Mary, what's going on out there?
Nobody's coming for us.
263
00:14:31,821 --> 00:14:34,901
They what? No!
That's impossible.
264
00:14:35,111 --> 00:14:36,799
But how can that be?
We didn't even--
265
00:14:37,282 --> 00:14:39,744
Hello? Mary.
Mary!
266
00:14:40,033 --> 00:14:41,019
What happened, Glen?
267
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,627
There's no help coming!
She said...
268
00:14:44,424 --> 00:14:45,802
Because of all the homeless...
269
00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:48,481
Because of all the homeless
in South Park,
270
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,068
property values
have plummeted.
271
00:14:50,301 --> 00:14:53,158
I had two liens against my house
and so the bank is foreclosing!
272
00:14:54,263 --> 00:14:55,537
I don't have
a home anymore.
273
00:14:59,224 --> 00:15:00,423
Randy, what are you doing?
274
00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:03,082
He's homeless now.
We aren't safe.
275
00:15:03,171 --> 00:15:06,895
- I'm not like them.
- Not yet. It's only a matter of time.
276
00:15:07,071 --> 00:15:09,709
And what are you gonna do, huh?
Just blow his head off?
277
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,071
If we have to!
Sit down, Glen.
278
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:15,615
- Randy, you can't just--
- Sit down!
279
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:19,702
This is crazy.
280
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:20,976
How can they just
take away my house?
281
00:15:21,284 --> 00:15:22,560
Where am I supposed
to put all my things?
282
00:15:22,851 --> 00:15:25,358
I don't have a place for all my stuff.
Where am I supposed to put all my stuff?
283
00:15:25,781 --> 00:15:26,845
I'll need to pay
for storage.
284
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,232
Can I borrow some money
to put my stuff in storage?
285
00:15:29,432 --> 00:15:31,783
Come on, guys.
If you all just help me out a little bit.
286
00:15:32,043 --> 00:15:34,010
Each one of you just
put in a little change?
287
00:15:34,974 --> 00:15:35,688
Change?
288
00:15:49,891 --> 00:15:51,856
What the hell
happened here?
289
00:15:52,813 --> 00:15:54,057
That's far enough!
290
00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:57,108
Just march your butts
right back out of our town!
291
00:15:57,143 --> 00:15:59,086
We just came
to ask a question.
292
00:15:59,121 --> 00:16:01,278
You homeless
or homeowners?
293
00:16:01,555 --> 00:16:02,289
We're nine.
294
00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:05,871
Yeah? Well that makes you homeless,
so get out of here before you die!
295
00:16:05,908 --> 00:16:08,251
Look, we just need help with
our own homeless problem.
296
00:16:08,287 --> 00:16:10,970
Yeah. This Jew here made them
take over our town.
297
00:16:11,005 --> 00:16:12,217
Shut up, Cartman!
298
00:16:12,735 --> 00:16:14,001
Cartman?
299
00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:16,016
Eric Cartman?
300
00:16:16,716 --> 00:16:19,199
The kid who jumped
thirty homeless people
301
00:16:19,234 --> 00:16:20,252
on a skateboard?
302
00:16:21,958 --> 00:16:24,161
- You heard about that?
- Heard about it?
303
00:16:24,198 --> 00:16:27,514
They said you could have easily cleared
fifty homeless with that jump.
304
00:16:27,549 --> 00:16:28,743
Thirty was hard enough.
305
00:16:28,786 --> 00:16:31,773
Oh God! It wasn't thirty,
it was one!
306
00:16:31,805 --> 00:16:34,930
He jumped over one homeless person
with his stupid skateboard
307
00:16:34,965 --> 00:16:36,625
and he barely made it
over that guy!
308
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:37,693
Kyle, knock it off!
309
00:16:37,725 --> 00:16:39,654
We're here to find out
how to get rid of the homeless,
310
00:16:39,689 --> 00:16:41,506
not how many homeless
Cartman can jump!
311
00:16:41,541 --> 00:16:42,674
Please, we just want you
to tell us
312
00:16:42,714 --> 00:16:44,323
how you got rid of
the homeless in your town.
313
00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:47,896
Well, that was easy.
314
00:16:51,724 --> 00:16:55,050
The homeless first started arriving
in Evergreen about three months ago.
315
00:16:55,744 --> 00:16:57,311
At first, there were only
a few of them,
316
00:16:57,351 --> 00:16:59,369
asking for change,
sleeping in the parks.
317
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:01,634
But then more showed up
318
00:17:01,669 --> 00:17:04,303
and we realized there was
something different about them.
319
00:17:04,743 --> 00:17:06,842
They fed off of our change
to the point
320
00:17:06,877 --> 00:17:09,499
that they could actually
start renting apartments.
321
00:17:10,503 --> 00:17:11,769
We knew it wouldn't
be long before
322
00:17:11,809 --> 00:17:14,098
the homeless actually
started buying homes.
323
00:17:14,655 --> 00:17:17,535
And then we'd have no idea
who was homeless and who wasn't!
324
00:17:18,535 --> 00:17:21,121
The people living in the house right
next door to you could be homeless
325
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,097
and you wouldn't even know!
326
00:17:23,226 --> 00:17:26,500
Nobody could trust anybody.
Fights broke out. War!
327
00:17:26,923 --> 00:17:30,191
That's when I started suspecting
that my own wife...
328
00:17:30,413 --> 00:17:32,787
who I'd been living
with for twenty years,
329
00:17:32,822 --> 00:17:34,390
was actually homeless.
330
00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:37,767
So I had to burn her.
In her bed while she slept.
331
00:17:38,204 --> 00:17:42,067
After she died, I vowed I wouldn't let
the homeless destroy our town!
332
00:17:42,485 --> 00:17:45,258
So we came up with a plan to get
rid of them, once and for all.
333
00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:54,361
You son of a bitch.
You didn't solve your homeless problem.
334
00:17:54,683 --> 00:17:56,624
You just sent all your homeless
to South Park.
335
00:17:57,583 --> 00:17:58,960
That's right, yes.
336
00:17:58,993 --> 00:18:00,404
- What?
- I knew it!
337
00:18:00,683 --> 00:18:02,859
It wasn't because I gave
that guy twenty dollars.
338
00:18:02,894 --> 00:18:04,426
The homeless
all came from here!
339
00:18:04,765 --> 00:18:06,603
And it was Texas
who sent them to us!
340
00:18:07,054 --> 00:18:09,308
People in San Antonio
got rid of their homeless
341
00:18:09,315 --> 00:18:11,437
by telling them what a great place
Evergreen was!
342
00:18:11,755 --> 00:18:13,892
But then you didn't solve the problem,
you just moved it.
343
00:18:14,255 --> 00:18:16,765
Right.
But we survived.
344
00:18:18,024 --> 00:18:20,307
Dennis!
345
00:18:22,674 --> 00:18:23,657
Christine!
346
00:18:23,692 --> 00:18:27,750
You son of a bitch!
You tried to kill me!
347
00:18:28,564 --> 00:18:30,639
I had to, Christine.
You were homeless.
348
00:18:30,721 --> 00:18:33,981
No, I wasn't homeless,
you stupid asshole!
349
00:18:34,274 --> 00:18:35,964
Christine,
I can't understand you.
350
00:18:36,493 --> 00:18:39,475
Yeah! Because
you burned my lips off!
351
00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:41,572
I nurned your rip sauce?
352
00:18:41,683 --> 00:18:44,997
No!
You burned my lips off!
353
00:18:45,664 --> 00:18:47,483
I have no idea
what you're saying!
354
00:18:55,664 --> 00:18:58,163
Dude, our parents are just as stupid
as these people.
355
00:18:58,236 --> 00:18:59,728
Our town is gonna end up
just like this.
356
00:19:00,224 --> 00:19:02,391
No it isn't.
Come on, I have an idea.
357
00:19:02,754 --> 00:19:05,706
No, no, no, we're not having Cartman
jump any more homeless people, Kyle.
358
00:19:05,863 --> 00:19:07,038
That isn't my idea!
359
00:19:07,274 --> 00:19:10,239
I saw a bus in a garage a couple of
blocks back. We need to modify it!
360
00:19:11,186 --> 00:19:12,063
What are we gonna do?
361
00:19:12,153 --> 00:19:14,181
We're gonna save our parents
before they all kill each other.
362
00:19:42,453 --> 00:19:44,757
A bus!
A bus is coming!
363
00:19:47,734 --> 00:19:51,300
It's the boys! They've modified
a bus to get us out of here.
364
00:19:51,466 --> 00:19:52,967
I knew
they'd come back for us.
365
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:54,451
- All right!
- Yeah.
366
00:19:54,513 --> 00:19:56,531
Look, Glen.
We're saved.
367
00:19:59,273 --> 00:20:00,314
All right,
I'm turning around.
368
00:20:02,186 --> 00:20:04,287
- Why are they turning?
- What are they doing?
369
00:20:06,885 --> 00:20:08,247
Don't leave us!
370
00:20:09,373 --> 00:20:12,038
- All right, hit it.
- Let's hope to Christ this works.
371
00:20:12,284 --> 00:20:14,905
California Love
372
00:20:19,536 --> 00:20:21,045
California,
373
00:20:21,833 --> 00:20:23,771
Is nice to the homeless,
374
00:20:24,784 --> 00:20:29,309
California-nia,Supercool to the homeless,
375
00:20:30,066 --> 00:20:32,727
In the city,
376
00:20:32,734 --> 00:20:34,583
City of Santa Monica,
377
00:20:35,343 --> 00:20:39,861
Lots of rich peoplegiving change to the homeless,
378
00:20:41,135 --> 00:20:42,217
Change?
379
00:20:43,305 --> 00:20:45,861
In the city,
380
00:20:45,904 --> 00:20:47,489
City of Brentwood,
381
00:20:48,254 --> 00:20:53,010
They take really good care,of all their homeless,
382
00:20:53,693 --> 00:20:54,670
They're listening.
Let's go!
383
00:20:56,475 --> 00:20:59,058
In the city,
384
00:20:59,095 --> 00:21:00,495
Marina del Rey,
385
00:21:01,714 --> 00:21:03,614
They're so niceto the homeless,
386
00:21:04,036 --> 00:21:06,021
Built a port about it,
387
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:09,510
- They're leading them away!
- We're gonna be all right!
388
00:21:09,843 --> 00:21:11,490
Oh Glen!
We made it!
389
00:21:12,255 --> 00:21:13,953
California,
390
00:21:14,554 --> 00:21:16,534
Supercoolto the homeless,
391
00:21:16,573 --> 00:21:17,520
Change?
392
00:21:17,564 --> 00:21:21,794
California-nia,Idn't on the tona,
393
00:21:22,835 --> 00:21:25,355
In the city,
394
00:21:25,444 --> 00:21:27,000
City of Venice,
395
00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:32,560
Right by Matt's house,You can chill if you're homeless,
396
00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:39,403
Yes!
That's three homeless!
397
00:21:39,585 --> 00:21:41,612
Suck on that!
Fuck, yeah!
398
00:21:42,944 --> 00:21:44,805
Honestly, I don't know
what you see in this, Kyle.
399
00:22:10,385 --> 00:22:14,319
Sync and Edits: VeRdiKT
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