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1
00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,488
Blue Moon Detective Agency.
2
00:01:13,649 --> 00:01:15,736
Sorry for not answering
on the first ring...
3
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,988
...but we're cleaning,
preparing for spring.
4
00:01:18,154 --> 00:01:20,157
Getting rid of the old
to make room new...
5
00:01:20,322 --> 00:01:22,328
...so we give every client
his or her due.
6
00:01:22,490 --> 00:01:24,995
Sorry, operator, we cannot accept...
7
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,210
...an out-of-state call that is collect.
8
00:01:42,512 --> 00:01:44,185
Oh, Herbert.
9
00:02:28,184 --> 00:02:31,067
You, guys. You, guys.
10
00:02:31,270 --> 00:02:33,275
I don't think this is a good idea.
11
00:02:52,541 --> 00:02:54,630
Stop it this instant.
12
00:02:55,921 --> 00:02:58,055
I tried to tell them.
13
00:02:58,214 --> 00:03:00,137
I wanna see
Mr. Addison in my office.
14
00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:01,641
Mr. Addison isn't here.
15
00:03:01,842 --> 00:03:03,562
He had a bowling tournament.
16
00:03:04,138 --> 00:03:05,609
You did this on your own?
17
00:03:07,390 --> 00:03:09,228
Mr. Addison didn't incite you?
18
00:03:10,894 --> 00:03:12,283
He didn't put you up to this?
19
00:03:15,399 --> 00:03:17,985
I'm very disappointed in you.
20
00:03:18,152 --> 00:03:19,362
In you, Mr. O'Nea|.
21
00:03:19,528 --> 00:03:22,293
In you, Mr. Viola
and you, MacGi|icuddy.
22
00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:24,203
-He started it.
-Did not.
23
00:03:24,366 --> 00:03:26,454
-Did too.
-I don't care who started it.
24
00:03:26,618 --> 00:03:29,336
I thought you were mature enough
to leave unsupervised...
25
00:03:29,496 --> 00:03:31,049
...but I guess I was wrong.
26
00:03:31,206 --> 00:03:33,756
As punishment
I want you in your seats...
27
00:03:33,917 --> 00:03:36,054
...with you heads down
for a full 30-minutes.
28
00:03:36,836 --> 00:03:38,558
-You're kidding?
-Did you hear me?
29
00:03:38,756 --> 00:03:41,140
In your seats, heads on your desks.
30
00:03:42,342 --> 00:03:44,597
Do you want Mr. Addison
to hear about this?
31
00:03:51,727 --> 00:03:55,738
Agnes, would you give me a hand
with these, please?
32
00:03:58,110 --> 00:03:59,948
MacGi|icuddy, I am telling.
33
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,993
And no talking to our neighbours.
34
00:04:02,156 --> 00:04:04,492
This is quiet time.
35
00:04:09,704 --> 00:04:11,792
Boy, oh, boy.
36
00:04:12,665 --> 00:04:15,002
Did this place ever need
a spring cleaning?
37
00:04:15,168 --> 00:04:16,378
I can imagine.
38
00:04:16,544 --> 00:04:19,593
Just the Anselmo case alone
filled a whole dumpster.
39
00:04:19,757 --> 00:04:21,725
Agnes, do you have any idea...
40
00:04:21,883 --> 00:04:25,062
...when Mr. Addison's gonna be back
from his bowling tournament?
41
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,477
He wasn't sure exactly.
42
00:04:26,639 --> 00:04:29,142
It depends on how long
the awards luncheon lasts.
43
00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:31,568
I can't help feeling
this ship is out of shape.
44
00:04:31,768 --> 00:04:35,481
Lately, everyone around here has
either been cutting up or cutting out.
45
00:04:35,689 --> 00:04:37,742
Well, everyone's a little tired.
46
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:40,201
We've been going gangbusters
for five years now.
47
00:04:40,404 --> 00:04:42,988
-A lot of blood under the bridge.
-The tired talking?
48
00:04:43,197 --> 00:04:44,787
I guess I am pretty tired.
49
00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:48,710
Though most of the time when I think
about it, I really would miss this place.
50
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:52,713
All those people who have sat
in that chair telling me their stories.
51
00:04:52,873 --> 00:04:54,381
And I certainly would miss you.
52
00:04:54,584 --> 00:04:56,553
I'd miss you too, Ms. Hayes.
53
00:04:56,711 --> 00:04:59,214
And Viola and MacGi|icuddy
and the rest of them...
54
00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:01,386
...though I feel like
wringing their necks.
55
00:05:01,591 --> 00:05:02,980
And Mr. Addison?
56
00:05:03,176 --> 00:05:06,059
l'd particularly would like
to wring his neck.
57
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:09,602
Though I can't imagine coming to work
and not finding him hell-bent...
58
00:05:09,766 --> 00:05:11,438
...on making my life miserable.
59
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,442
Come in.
60
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:14,778
Excuse me, Ms. Hayes.
61
00:05:14,979 --> 00:05:17,698
I don't recall giving you permission
to leave your desk.
62
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,783
You didn't,
but there is a client here to see you.
63
00:05:20,944 --> 00:05:22,616
Although I am being disciplined...
64
00:05:22,778 --> 00:05:26,741
...I took the liberty to beg him not to
leave, at least until he'd spoken to you.
65
00:05:26,908 --> 00:05:29,245
Agnes, would you see him in, please.
66
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:36,341
Ms. Hayes.
67
00:05:36,543 --> 00:05:38,714
I will be eternally penitent...
68
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,053
...for the role I played
in that tomfoolery out there.
69
00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:44,517
But I want you to know
that MacGi|icuddy...
70
00:05:44,676 --> 00:05:47,524
-...really was the one who started it.
-Did not.
71
00:05:48,055 --> 00:05:49,563
Out.
72
00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,448
Hello.
73
00:05:59,649 --> 00:06:01,240
Hello, my name is Ash. Brock Ash.
74
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,035
Hello, Mr. Ash.
I'm Madelyn Hayes.
75
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:06,002
-Mind if I sit down?
-Oh, not at all. Please.
76
00:06:10,994 --> 00:06:12,169
-Are you all right?
-No...
77
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,213
-...but there's nothing you can do.
-How may I help you?
78
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,885
-You can save me from oblivion.
-Excuse me?
79
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,557
A perfect crime was committed.
80
00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:23,094
One which the combined resources
of the police, FBI, Interpol...
81
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:26,520
...and several insurance companies
have as yet been unable to solve.
82
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,734
What makes you think we can succeed
where so many others failed?
83
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:31,065
Don't solve the crime...
84
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,609
-...I want you to prove I did it.
-Come again.
85
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,196
I won't bore you
with the details of my illness...
86
00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:38,359
...but I've seen better days.
87
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,446
I'm over the anger
and past the denial...
88
00:06:40,610 --> 00:06:42,863
...but the only thing
standing between me...
89
00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:45,329
...and acceptance of my fate
are a few regrets.
90
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,335
When I die my name dies with me.
91
00:06:47,492 --> 00:06:49,710
My wife preceded me.
I have no issue.
92
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:53,298
My only legacy will be a two-line
obituary of interest to no one.
93
00:06:53,498 --> 00:06:55,966
And that scares the hell out of me.
94
00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:59,554
All I've accomplished is this deed,
this crime. My one success.
95
00:06:59,712 --> 00:07:01,930
Such a success, in fact...
96
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,513
...no one knows I did it.
97
00:07:03,717 --> 00:07:06,135
You wanna be remembered
for committing a crime?
98
00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:09,310
Herostratus has been remembered
for thousands of years...
99
00:07:09,473 --> 00:07:12,900
...as the one responsible for the
destruction of the Temple of Artemis.
100
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,989
One of the great wonders
of the ancient world...
101
00:07:16,145 --> 00:07:18,067
...he burned it to the ground.
102
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:21,530
Yet history never recorded
the name of the man who built it.
103
00:07:21,693 --> 00:07:23,993
People are remembered
for all sorts of things.
104
00:07:24,195 --> 00:07:25,952
My wish is to be remembered at all.
105
00:07:26,157 --> 00:07:29,288
What do you need a detective for?
Why don't you turn yourself in?
106
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:32,173
I have several times.
So have dozens of others.
107
00:07:32,371 --> 00:07:35,753
The crime I committed nearly
25 years ago created quite a stir.
108
00:07:35,958 --> 00:07:38,093
And the artefacts I took
were priceless.
109
00:07:38,293 --> 00:07:40,548
So every nut's been
trying to get into the act?
110
00:07:40,754 --> 00:07:43,091
Exactly.
Anyone can claim they did it.
111
00:07:43,257 --> 00:07:44,727
The facts are well documented.
112
00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:48,063
But there is one person who can
actually link me to the theft.
113
00:07:48,263 --> 00:07:49,685
-I want you to find him.
-Who?
114
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:52,144
The security guard
on duty that night.
115
00:07:52,308 --> 00:07:54,479
There's a detail he left out of
his statement.
116
00:07:54,643 --> 00:07:57,407
A detail that only
he and I know about.
117
00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:02,615
Now, this is a snapshot of me
the day before the robbery.
118
00:08:03,152 --> 00:08:04,873
-Who's the woman?
-My wife, Karen.
119
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,373
-She was beautiful.
-Yes, she was.
120
00:08:07,532 --> 00:08:10,380
That night when I made my way
to the exhibit...
121
00:08:10,534 --> 00:08:13,464
...Karen had arranged to distract
the guard in the stairwell.
122
00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:16,000
This fellow had an eye
for a well-turned ankle.
123
00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:19,838
With the prospect of enormous wealth,
Karen was willing to turn a lot more.
124
00:08:20,045 --> 00:08:21,682
-Your wife?
-The irony was...
125
00:08:21,838 --> 00:08:24,768
...all the money went to pay
her hospital bills years later.
126
00:08:24,924 --> 00:08:27,688
I don't know where this guard is
or if he's still alive...
127
00:08:27,845 --> 00:08:30,263
...but if he is
and you can locate him...
128
00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:33,395
...then I can come forward.
I can leave my mark.
129
00:08:33,934 --> 00:08:35,772
Then I can die.
130
00:08:37,145 --> 00:08:39,316
Will you take my case, Ms. Hayes?
131
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,163
I do wish you'd reconsider.
132
00:08:49,324 --> 00:08:50,996
I'm sorry, Mr. Ash.
133
00:08:51,159 --> 00:08:53,295
Perhaps if I doubled your fee.
134
00:08:53,454 --> 00:08:55,175
Money really isn't the issue here.
135
00:08:55,331 --> 00:08:57,134
This case just isn't my cup of tea.
136
00:08:57,333 --> 00:09:00,298
Well, if you change your mind,
here's my card.
137
00:09:00,503 --> 00:09:02,922
Mr. Viola would you see
Mr. Ash to his car, please?
138
00:09:03,088 --> 00:09:05,142
-Really, that's not necessary.
-I insist.
139
00:09:05,342 --> 00:09:07,892
-You're very considerate.
-Good luck.
140
00:09:08,552 --> 00:09:10,143
Thank you.
141
00:09:35,998 --> 00:09:39,094
Strike. Yes.
142
00:09:40,626 --> 00:09:43,475
-Good morning, Maddie.
-Good afternoon, David.
143
00:09:43,631 --> 00:09:46,180
-You got the message, right?
-I got the message.
144
00:09:46,383 --> 00:09:47,973
-I didn't inconvenience you.
-No.
145
00:09:48,178 --> 00:09:50,395
-You're not mad?
-Do whatever you have to do...
146
00:09:50,555 --> 00:09:53,520
-...to make yourself happy.
-That a girl. Finally catching on.
147
00:09:53,683 --> 00:09:56,316
So who was the deadbeat
I saw Viola walking out?
148
00:09:56,518 --> 00:09:58,737
-A case that won't be.
-Looking for a freebie?
149
00:09:58,938 --> 00:10:00,659
-I didn't like the story.
-Which was?
150
00:10:00,815 --> 00:10:03,235
If you'd come to work
instead of hanging out...
151
00:10:03,401 --> 00:10:04,742
...you'd hear for yourself.
152
00:10:04,945 --> 00:10:05,989
-What's his name?
-Who?
153
00:10:06,154 --> 00:10:07,742
-The client.
-He's not a client.
154
00:10:07,946 --> 00:10:11,542
He wants to give us his hard-earned
money and you turn him away?
155
00:10:11,743 --> 00:10:13,332
We shouldn't work with criminals.
156
00:10:13,535 --> 00:10:15,459
-He was a criminal?
-He is a criminal.
157
00:10:15,664 --> 00:10:17,549
-What's he wanted for?
-He's not wanted.
158
00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:19,588
-Then what's he not wanted for?
-David.
159
00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:22,129
You can't leave without telling me.
160
00:10:22,296 --> 00:10:24,595
I've got work to do.
I don't have time for this.
161
00:10:24,796 --> 00:10:28,013
-I have a right to know.
-Then will you get out?
162
00:10:28,219 --> 00:10:32,359
I'll do better than that. I'll get out of
the building. I'll go to lunch, again.
163
00:10:33,224 --> 00:10:34,694
His name is Ash.
164
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:37,864
He committed a crime and he wants
someone to prove he did it.
165
00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:40,701
And you let him walk out of here?
Maddie, how could you.
166
00:10:40,855 --> 00:10:42,694
David, we're not glorifying criminals.
167
00:10:42,857 --> 00:10:44,365
How about glorifying ourselves?
168
00:10:44,527 --> 00:10:47,540
Unsolved Mysteries, uncracked crimes,
TV's 10 top most wanted.
169
00:10:47,695 --> 00:10:50,201
There's a tidal wave of trash
sweeping this country.
170
00:10:50,367 --> 00:10:53,330
Maybe we could get somebody
to hit Morton Downey with a chair.
171
00:10:55,245 --> 00:10:58,839
Boy, Maddie, I thought I knew you,
but denying a dying man his last wish.
172
00:10:58,998 --> 00:11:01,847
How can you champion his cause
when you weren't here?
173
00:11:02,044 --> 00:11:03,800
A testimonial to your skills.
174
00:11:04,004 --> 00:11:05,926
He's a criminal.
We're not going to help.
175
00:11:06,131 --> 00:11:10,391
Stop the presses. Criminal comes to
Blue Moon wants them to take the case.
176
00:11:10,595 --> 00:11:13,525
The only difference between this guy
and every other clown...
177
00:11:13,682 --> 00:11:17,359
...is that we don't gotta go through
six talks in a car, two pair of shoes...
178
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:20,982
...couple of sets of stunt doubles going
through some elaborate chase...
179
00:11:21,188 --> 00:11:24,404
...just to find out that he's the criminal.
I find that refreshing.
180
00:11:24,567 --> 00:11:26,406
Maybe I've been misled
a few of times.
181
00:11:26,568 --> 00:11:28,373
My intent was always to help people.
182
00:11:28,572 --> 00:11:31,787
-The man wants to confess.
-Not for remorse. He's after stardom.
183
00:11:31,949 --> 00:11:34,631
Somebody's gotta take the blame,
which rhymes with fame.
184
00:11:34,786 --> 00:11:36,922
Might as well be him
and might as well be us.
185
00:11:37,122 --> 00:11:39,803
David, I know the concept
of morality is foreign to you.
186
00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:41,002
But I'm sorry.
187
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:43,089
Hello, yeah.
Give me the lobby, please.
188
00:11:44,046 --> 00:11:46,549
Security, this is David Addison
up in Blue Moon.
189
00:11:46,757 --> 00:11:49,308
Adult male, 5'10",
not long for this world,
190
00:11:49,468 --> 00:11:51,770
with a short guy with a little
moth-eaten beard.
191
00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:53,602
Don't let them out. Be right down.
192
00:11:54,472 --> 00:11:55,814
We're not taking this case.
193
00:11:56,017 --> 00:11:59,444
Oh, yeah, like we're not gonna
really take the case.
194
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,441
Ms. Van Breegle,
yes, I understand your position...
195
00:12:03,607 --> 00:12:05,362
...but try to understand mine.
196
00:12:05,526 --> 00:12:08,825
There's a larger issue than
the confidentiality of your records.
197
00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:10,750
I need to find Duncan Kennedy.
198
00:12:10,948 --> 00:12:15,207
If I don't find a liver donor for my
patient soon-- What do you mean?
199
00:12:15,411 --> 00:12:17,498
That's why the good Lord
gave us two.
200
00:12:17,705 --> 00:12:21,964
What? Well, you can
stick Gray's Anatomy up your--
201
00:12:24,963 --> 00:12:27,014
-What did you find out?
-The big goose egg.
202
00:12:27,172 --> 00:12:29,061
-And I believe you meant kidneys.
-What?
203
00:12:29,218 --> 00:12:31,102
Never mind.
How about you, any luck?
204
00:12:31,302 --> 00:12:32,643
That was the museum curator.
205
00:12:32,804 --> 00:12:35,190
Sorry but I can't release
any information on my--
206
00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:37,312
-Damn.
-Yeah, you said a mouthful.
207
00:12:37,476 --> 00:12:39,562
I got a guy from Reuters
coming over here...
208
00:12:39,728 --> 00:12:43,820
...talking about a big cash bonus for
an exclusive on the Brock Ash case.
209
00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:47,614
Mr. Viola, I believe this calls
for a covert operation.
210
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,160
I was hoping you'd say that, sir.
211
00:12:50,364 --> 00:12:51,953
David...
212
00:12:52,449 --> 00:12:55,129
...for the last time
we're not cashing in on this crime.
213
00:12:55,328 --> 00:12:57,498
-Okay, case closed.
-What?
214
00:12:57,705 --> 00:12:58,831
Romans have a saying:
215
00:12:58,997 --> 00:13:01,086
If enough people tell you
your fly's open...
216
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:02,970
...then maybe you should look down.
217
00:13:03,585 --> 00:13:06,351
I wanna thank you and Viola
for bringing me to my senses.
218
00:13:06,548 --> 00:13:08,349
-You do?
-You do?
219
00:13:08,508 --> 00:13:10,060
I do.
220
00:13:11,552 --> 00:13:14,980
I guess maybe I was allowing the
ethical considerations of this case...
221
00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:18,485
...to be obscured
by my entrepreneurial zeal.
222
00:13:18,852 --> 00:13:20,572
Believe I owe this agency
an apology.
223
00:13:20,769 --> 00:13:23,274
We're all guilty of occasional
lapses in judgement.
224
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,652
We are, however,
duty bound as citizens...
225
00:13:25,817 --> 00:13:29,079
...to follow up on whatever leads
are presented to us by Mr. Ash...
226
00:13:29,236 --> 00:13:32,915
...who is, after all, a common criminal,
but that's where our job ends.
227
00:13:33,115 --> 00:13:34,670
-What's the catch?
-No catch.
228
00:13:34,826 --> 00:13:38,705
We just gather whatever information we
can and turn it over to the authorities.
229
00:13:38,913 --> 00:13:42,128
Without turning it into a
self-aggrandizing media sideshow?
230
00:13:42,334 --> 00:13:44,552
I promise you,
I will not let a bearded lady...
231
00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:47,890
...or a two-headed turtle boy
anywhere near this place.
232
00:13:48,589 --> 00:13:51,224
-Okay?
-Okay.
233
00:13:51,426 --> 00:13:53,646
Mr. Viola,
run Ms. Hayes to the museum.
234
00:13:53,845 --> 00:13:56,729
Speak to curator about the
documents she's holding from us.
235
00:13:56,932 --> 00:13:59,316
I, myself, am on the way
to the dentist.
236
00:14:00,019 --> 00:14:01,941
I feel a touch of
gingivitis coming on...
237
00:14:02,104 --> 00:14:04,868
...and I'd hate to ruin this smile.
238
00:14:06,858 --> 00:14:09,409
There's something fishy
in the house of Denmark.
239
00:14:13,616 --> 00:14:16,119
May I be of some assistance to you,
Monsignor?
240
00:14:20,957 --> 00:14:25,299
Monsignor Viola brings his regards
from Rome.
241
00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:29,303
Oh, I'm so sorry.
242
00:14:29,508 --> 00:14:31,761
What lovely long nails you have.
243
00:14:37,931 --> 00:14:41,064
Monsignor would like to know
if he can impose your hospitality...
244
00:14:41,227 --> 00:14:43,114
...for a tour of your fine museum.
245
00:14:48,277 --> 00:14:50,613
Monsignor, this might be
a good opportunity...
246
00:14:50,778 --> 00:14:53,247
...for you to practise your English.
247
00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:56,628
Okay.
248
00:14:57,161 --> 00:15:00,708
Marcel Duchamp understood
that taking an ordinary object...
249
00:15:00,873 --> 00:15:04,550
...and putting it into a different
cultural context became art.
250
00:15:06,378 --> 00:15:10,471
And over here we have a new
installation of works of the 1960s.
251
00:15:11,592 --> 00:15:12,683
Decadent.
252
00:15:12,842 --> 00:15:14,564
-Mrs. Van Driggle.
-Breegle.
253
00:15:14,721 --> 00:15:17,650
Oh, yes. I'm sorry.
Would you mind if I used your phone?
254
00:15:17,807 --> 00:15:20,441
I have to check about
the Monsignor's trip home.
255
00:15:20,642 --> 00:15:22,563
Yes, of course.
Let me show you where--
256
00:15:22,771 --> 00:15:24,775
That's all right. I'll find it.
Thank you.
257
00:15:24,938 --> 00:15:26,860
I don't wanna interrupt the tour.
258
00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:33,116
You have a beautiful museum.
259
00:15:33,322 --> 00:15:36,040
Well, it's an honour
to have you here.
260
00:15:36,242 --> 00:15:37,334
Yes.
261
00:15:37,869 --> 00:15:38,995
How I envy you.
262
00:15:39,162 --> 00:15:43,338
Working every day among some of the
greatest art the world has ever known.
263
00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:46,755
Art is my life.
264
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,848
Raphael. Botticelli. Giotto.
265
00:15:51,049 --> 00:15:53,979
Oh, we have a Giotto inside.
266
00:15:56,013 --> 00:15:59,146
You've seen one Giotto,
you've seen them all.
267
00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:21,626
I have some photographs
in my office.
268
00:16:21,789 --> 00:16:25,171
They're of Renaissance statuary
you might be interested in.
269
00:16:25,335 --> 00:16:27,256
Your ceiling.
270
00:16:27,879 --> 00:16:29,930
She's so empty.
271
00:16:30,088 --> 00:16:33,221
Do you know La Cappella Sistina?
272
00:16:33,384 --> 00:16:36,350
One of the most moving
experiences of my life...
273
00:16:36,512 --> 00:16:39,893
...was the first time I saw
the Sistine Chapel.
274
00:16:40,558 --> 00:16:46,110
Sometimes when I want to be
alone with the divine...
275
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:51,954
...I go there after all the turistas
have gone home.
276
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,786
I lie on to my back...
277
00:16:53,948 --> 00:16:56,795
...just like Michelangelo.
278
00:16:56,950 --> 00:17:00,332
-On the floor?
-Si, on the floor.
279
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:06,388
I lie there for much time...
280
00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:09,053
...watching the creation of a man.
281
00:17:09,255 --> 00:17:11,057
A great...
282
00:17:16,096 --> 00:17:18,895
...tranquillity fills me.
283
00:17:19,056 --> 00:17:21,940
Almost as if it was I...
284
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:26,615
...Monsignor Viola, who's hand...
285
00:17:26,772 --> 00:17:28,907
...is touching the Almighty's.
286
00:17:42,414 --> 00:17:46,885
Back in the monastery, my brothers
and me would lie in the snow...
287
00:17:47,042 --> 00:17:49,891
...and make the angels, like this.
288
00:17:53,426 --> 00:17:54,849
Come on, Monsignor.
289
00:17:55,052 --> 00:17:57,686
They want you back
in Rome right away.
290
00:17:57,845 --> 00:18:00,860
-Thank you so much, Ms.--
-Van Breegle. Dr. Van Breegle.
291
00:18:01,057 --> 00:18:03,643
Van Drigg|e-- Breegle. Breegle.
292
00:18:04,936 --> 00:18:07,191
My pleasure.
293
00:18:12,319 --> 00:18:14,205
Maybe I've been
underestimating Herbert.
294
00:18:14,404 --> 00:18:17,039
I put my foot down when he told me
to dress like a nun.
295
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,705
I like the way that boy thinks.
296
00:18:19,910 --> 00:18:22,840
Look, the important thing is
you got Duncan Kennedy's file.
297
00:18:23,039 --> 00:18:25,756
-We have yet to find Kennedy.
-What's next on the list?
298
00:18:25,958 --> 00:18:29,221
Silver Lining Rest Farm.
I hope this isn't a forwarding address.
299
00:18:29,378 --> 00:18:32,474
It doesn't sound
like a forwarding address.
300
00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:35,473
I can't wait until we can
wash our hands of this case.
301
00:18:35,634 --> 00:18:38,768
Who would use his wife
to seduce a man to pull off a robbery?
302
00:18:38,972 --> 00:18:41,771
The kind of man who'd
marry a woman like that.
303
00:18:41,932 --> 00:18:44,235
It's the aforementioned robbery
you mentioned...
304
00:18:44,395 --> 00:18:48,238
-...that's is a tad chichier than your--
-Doesn't make it any less scuzzy.
305
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,278
Puts Ash on a list
with some heady folk.
306
00:18:50,483 --> 00:18:54,575
Before this he was a regular Joe, now
he's the D.B. Cooper of the art crowd.
307
00:18:54,738 --> 00:18:57,039
-So?
-So he's set apart from the rest.
308
00:18:57,198 --> 00:19:00,664
He'll have his niche in the pantheon
of criminals. He'll be remembered--
309
00:19:00,828 --> 00:19:03,163
-As a crook.
-|mmorta|ity's tough to pass up.
310
00:19:03,372 --> 00:19:06,670
Immortality and infamy are two
completely different kettle of fish.
311
00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:09,094
Tell that to Billy the Kid
or Bonnie and Clyde.
312
00:19:09,294 --> 00:19:11,097
-Scuzzball.
-Then what's the point?
313
00:19:11,254 --> 00:19:13,176
-That's not the point.
-What's the point?
314
00:19:13,382 --> 00:19:17,179
I happen to think it's a big waste
of time to live your life for posterity.
315
00:19:17,345 --> 00:19:19,183
Cheap talk from a girl
who's been on...
316
00:19:19,345 --> 00:19:21,352
...more magazine covers than
the ayatollah.
317
00:19:21,558 --> 00:19:24,238
I don't wanna get the writers in trouble.
Anyway...
318
00:19:24,435 --> 00:19:26,570
...occasionally someone
recognizes me, so?
319
00:19:26,771 --> 00:19:29,357
It's a big deal.
You've been recorded, documented...
320
00:19:29,523 --> 00:19:31,825
...as someone who's made
a contribution.
321
00:19:32,026 --> 00:19:35,372
-I never knew this was important to you.
-it's not important to me.
322
00:19:35,572 --> 00:19:38,668
-Making your mark, being immortalized.
-Is not important to me.
323
00:19:38,866 --> 00:19:40,753
You've taken this
close to your bosom.
324
00:19:40,952 --> 00:19:43,586
First of all, this case is nowhere
even near my bosom.
325
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:47,424
Second of all, I don't have a bosom and
most men I know don't have bosoms.
326
00:19:47,626 --> 00:19:49,298
And third, viva la difference.
327
00:19:49,502 --> 00:19:52,053
I'm just trying to explain
where Ash is coming from.
328
00:19:52,255 --> 00:19:55,720
You can't tell the difference
between surface and substance.
329
00:19:55,884 --> 00:19:58,102
Between celebrity
and real accomplishment.
330
00:19:58,302 --> 00:19:59,810
By jingo, you're right.
331
00:19:59,972 --> 00:20:03,151
The scales have fallen from my eyes
and I owe it all to you.
332
00:20:03,307 --> 00:20:05,111
The clothes, cars, flashy women.
333
00:20:05,268 --> 00:20:07,239
All trappings of material
accomplishment.
334
00:20:07,396 --> 00:20:10,741
I have yet to see you lift a finger
to lay a foundation past tomorrow.
335
00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:13,070
You wanna know how many
foundations I've laid.
336
00:20:13,277 --> 00:20:16,742
I've seen your m.o. a million times,
in the field, in a relationship.
337
00:20:16,948 --> 00:20:19,581
Never once have I seen you
invest anything of yourself.
338
00:20:19,742 --> 00:20:22,163
-Oh, and you have.
-Why would I invest something...
339
00:20:22,328 --> 00:20:25,127
...in a relationship
that you're not willing to invest in.
340
00:20:25,329 --> 00:20:28,593
You'd probably think you were
the one who didn't wait to not invest.
341
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:31,842
That's why it didn't work, Maddie.
We talked it to death.
342
00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:37,392
Yeah, I guess we did.
343
00:20:37,594 --> 00:20:38,685
We still do.
344
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:41,853
It doesn't matter if the topic
is the Van Allen belt...
345
00:20:42,014 --> 00:20:44,566
...or people who pick their noses
on the freeway...
346
00:20:44,726 --> 00:20:47,442
...or Egyptian funeral masks
that Brock Ash stole.
347
00:20:47,603 --> 00:20:50,154
It always turns out to be
a postmortem on us.
348
00:20:50,314 --> 00:20:52,866
-That's right.
-So let's not do it anymore.
349
00:20:53,067 --> 00:20:56,746
-Let's not.
-Okay, David, this isn't about us.
350
00:20:57,196 --> 00:21:01,420
If you wanna be famous, write a book,
become a sculptor or a congressman.
351
00:21:01,618 --> 00:21:04,797
Do anything instead of teaching
air guitar to the employees.
352
00:21:04,996 --> 00:21:06,752
I don't wanna be famous.
353
00:21:06,914 --> 00:21:10,380
I could careless whether or not I get
the recognition I richly deserve.
354
00:21:10,544 --> 00:21:13,511
And I don't want any credit
for bringing Brock Ash to justice.
355
00:21:13,714 --> 00:21:15,303
-You're sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.
356
00:21:18,218 --> 00:21:20,981
Just give it a shot, pop.
Try and remember.
357
00:21:21,846 --> 00:21:24,647
-Those eyes ....
-That's right. Those eyes.
358
00:21:24,808 --> 00:21:27,145
You remember those eyes?
They come in pairs?
359
00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:30,983
There's also a nose and a mouth,
put them together and it makes a face.
360
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:32,448
Do you remember this face?
361
00:21:33,985 --> 00:21:36,236
My mother had eyes like that.
362
00:21:36,237 --> 00:21:37,114
My mother had eyes like that.
363
00:21:38,156 --> 00:21:39,876
My mother's name was Mildred.
364
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:42,252
Her father, my grandfather...
365
00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:46,291
...called her Millie. Millie.
366
00:21:46,457 --> 00:21:49,386
He raised Persian horses
on the farm...
367
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:50,882
...back in Elgin, Illinois.
368
00:21:51,085 --> 00:21:54,384
-He's not going to remember, David.
-I remember everything.
369
00:21:54,548 --> 00:21:56,019
Sharp as a tack.
370
00:21:57,009 --> 00:21:58,396
Dunc.
371
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,556
May I call you Dunc?
372
00:22:01,638 --> 00:22:03,809
Dunc, you used to work
in the museum.
373
00:22:04,015 --> 00:22:05,309
Thirty-five years.
374
00:22:05,517 --> 00:22:07,439
Do you ever remember
seeing this girl?
375
00:22:07,977 --> 00:22:11,571
You know, the native girls
in the Pacific had hair like that.
376
00:22:11,772 --> 00:22:13,577
Black as alabaster.
377
00:22:13,734 --> 00:22:16,700
Once I was on shore leave...
378
00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:21,662
...and the chief petty officer and I, we--
We made screwdrivers.
379
00:22:21,867 --> 00:22:24,632
Orange juice and torpedo fluid.
380
00:22:25,288 --> 00:22:27,625
That will put hair on your chest,
I'll tell you.
381
00:22:27,790 --> 00:22:31,088
-Anyway, we met these native girls.
-POP, POP, POP-
382
00:22:31,251 --> 00:22:32,294
Hang on one second.
383
00:22:32,460 --> 00:22:35,178
Take this pen and sign your name
here on the dotted line.
384
00:22:35,339 --> 00:22:37,842
-David, you can't do that.
-Boy, are you a stickler.
385
00:22:38,426 --> 00:22:41,392
Pop, the museum, this girl.
386
00:22:41,596 --> 00:22:43,730
Girl? This girl?
387
00:22:43,931 --> 00:22:47,728
-David, it's hopeless.
-Hey, you are a pretty thing.
388
00:22:47,893 --> 00:22:49,281
And tall.
389
00:22:49,437 --> 00:22:51,857
Always liked my gals tall.
390
00:22:53,149 --> 00:22:56,031
Mr. Kennedy, thanks so much.
Sorry we bothered you.
391
00:22:56,193 --> 00:22:57,701
Oh, don't run off.
392
00:22:57,863 --> 00:23:00,163
I don't get a lot of visitors.
393
00:23:00,322 --> 00:23:02,245
Here, take a load off.
394
00:23:02,409 --> 00:23:06,170
Wheel of Fortune
will be on any minute.
395
00:23:11,585 --> 00:23:13,636
Sit down, damn it.
396
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,261
Yeah, okay.
397
00:23:20,261 --> 00:23:23,892
Vanna's got a nice smile,
but the rest of her--
398
00:23:25,224 --> 00:23:26,861
Skin and bones.
399
00:23:27,017 --> 00:23:30,980
No sirree, give me a gal
with a little meat on her.
400
00:23:32,732 --> 00:23:34,321
Pearls of wisdom, Dunc.
401
00:23:34,524 --> 00:23:35,948
Pearls of wisdom.
402
00:23:36,151 --> 00:23:38,204
Mr. Kennedy,
we really have to be going.
403
00:23:38,403 --> 00:23:40,825
I know this woman.
404
00:23:40,990 --> 00:23:43,576
She had the most beautiful
green eyes.
405
00:23:43,784 --> 00:23:45,255
Face like an angel.
406
00:23:45,452 --> 00:23:48,917
Came out of nowhere,
stayed a while.
407
00:23:49,124 --> 00:23:51,045
Never saw her again.
408
00:23:51,835 --> 00:23:54,219
But I've never forgotten her.
409
00:23:56,797 --> 00:23:58,352
Get me The Sun.
Get me The Times.
410
00:23:58,508 --> 00:24:00,678
Get me the Sun-Times.
Get me the Sunday Times.
411
00:24:00,842 --> 00:24:03,726
I want Dan Rather, Barbara Walters.
I want Walter Cronkite.
412
00:24:03,890 --> 00:24:08,278
Call the encylopaedia people. Tell them
to make room. Volume A, Addison.
413
00:24:25,326 --> 00:24:27,214
Good afternoon.
414
00:24:27,914 --> 00:24:29,752
If this checks out, we got a headline.
415
00:24:29,914 --> 00:24:33,095
-When does this stuff ever check out?
-Just stick around, folks.
416
00:24:33,252 --> 00:24:34,972
You might be surprised.
417
00:24:35,128 --> 00:24:37,015
Ellen Dunbar. Newsweek.
418
00:24:37,174 --> 00:24:40,470
-I'm a big fan.
-Nice to meet you, Ellen.
419
00:24:50,602 --> 00:24:54,068
You certainly did an excellent job
at turning out the fourth estate.
420
00:24:54,274 --> 00:24:56,159
Got a stringer from ABC News.
421
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:57,652
All the local newspapers.
422
00:24:57,860 --> 00:25:00,541
Spy magazine. MAD magazine.
423
00:25:00,697 --> 00:25:03,201
The roof has been secured
for Connie Chung's chopper.
424
00:25:03,408 --> 00:25:04,750
Very good. Thank you, girls.
425
00:25:04,910 --> 00:25:08,255
I take it Ms. Hayes will not be here
to bask in the limelight with us.
426
00:25:08,412 --> 00:25:09,754
Ms. Hayes will be just fine.
427
00:25:09,914 --> 00:25:12,002
She needs a little counselling
and bed rest.
428
00:25:12,208 --> 00:25:13,928
She did seem a trifle agitated.
429
00:25:14,128 --> 00:25:16,713
Well, Ms. Hayes is
a very private person.
430
00:25:16,879 --> 00:25:20,677
The thought of all those shutterbugs
made her adrenal glands spasm.
431
00:25:21,260 --> 00:25:23,679
Well, sir, there is one
other small problem.
432
00:25:23,846 --> 00:25:27,439
It's T-minus-3 minutes until Showtime
and Brock Ash has still not shown.
433
00:25:27,641 --> 00:25:29,147
You call yourself a showman?
434
00:25:29,351 --> 00:25:31,486
The man probably wants
to make an entrance.
435
00:25:31,686 --> 00:25:33,942
However, I will take a look
down the hallway...
436
00:25:34,105 --> 00:25:37,285
...and see if maybe he got lost.
437
00:25:43,950 --> 00:25:46,832
How's my hair? How are my teeth?
How's the dimple look?
438
00:25:50,164 --> 00:25:52,418
-What time is it?
-With all due respect, sir...
439
00:25:52,583 --> 00:25:55,431
...it's about 30 seconds later
than the last time you asked.
440
00:25:55,587 --> 00:25:58,172
Maybe he had car trouble.
441
00:25:58,590 --> 00:26:00,974
Maybe he was sicker
then he thought.
442
00:26:01,133 --> 00:26:04,184
-You're not suggesting--
-You don't suppose--
443
00:26:04,554 --> 00:26:07,936
No. We'll give him
a few more minutes.
444
00:26:16,276 --> 00:26:18,361
You gotta go in there
and stir the pot up...
445
00:26:18,526 --> 00:26:20,449
...while I put out an APB
for this moron.
446
00:26:20,612 --> 00:26:23,626
You want me to go in there
and talk to those reporters?
447
00:26:23,823 --> 00:26:26,375
Do barnyard noises,
leader impressions, I don't care.
448
00:26:26,534 --> 00:26:27,710
Just keep them occupied.
449
00:26:27,912 --> 00:26:30,249
-Sorry, sir. I can't do that.
-You gotta do that.
450
00:26:30,414 --> 00:26:34,127
No, I'd love to do that, sir,
but all those faces looking at me.
451
00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:37,923
All those minds weighing,
judging, evaluating.
452
00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:39,767
Shredding me. I--
453
00:26:39,924 --> 00:26:41,431
I'm just no good with people.
454
00:26:41,634 --> 00:26:44,517
-You can't cave in on me now.
-I'm feeling a little woozy.
455
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,808
G. Gordon Liddy
had a thing about rodents...
456
00:26:46,972 --> 00:26:49,903
...and then one mouthful of rat tartare
and he was a new man.
457
00:26:50,058 --> 00:26:52,361
Those people in there,
that's the cure for you.
458
00:26:52,562 --> 00:26:55,943
Now go in there, look them in the eye
and start yakking.
459
00:27:08,828 --> 00:27:10,631
Excuse me.
460
00:27:18,129 --> 00:27:20,051
First of all...
461
00:27:21,384 --> 00:27:25,725
...on behalf of the of the entire
moon here at Blue Staff.
462
00:27:26,262 --> 00:27:27,900
I mean ....
463
00:27:29,099 --> 00:27:31,816
Well, I would just like to--
464
00:27:32,978 --> 00:27:35,066
To-- To express to all of you...
465
00:27:35,230 --> 00:27:38,031
...how much your-- Your presence here
means to us today.
466
00:27:38,984 --> 00:27:40,408
Somebody get the hook.
467
00:27:40,943 --> 00:27:43,080
That's right. A-S-H.
468
00:27:43,738 --> 00:27:45,827
No patient listed under that name.
469
00:27:45,991 --> 00:27:48,246
Okay, thank you very much.
470
00:27:50,913 --> 00:27:53,546
Operator, give me a listing
for the highway patrol.
471
00:27:53,708 --> 00:27:57,089
And while you're at it give me a listing
for the county morgue.
472
00:27:58,171 --> 00:28:03,972
Man, after all, has always strived
for perfection.
473
00:28:04,510 --> 00:28:07,191
The perfect Iiftoff,
the perfect martini...
474
00:28:07,388 --> 00:28:09,725
...the perfect pair of breasts.
475
00:28:11,726 --> 00:28:15,357
Just as one mammal's regurgitation
is another mammal's ambergris.
476
00:28:15,563 --> 00:28:20,913
And so, with the sweet perfume
of history as our stalwart ally...
477
00:28:21,110 --> 00:28:25,203
...we come to understand
that the perfect crime...
478
00:28:25,364 --> 00:28:27,454
...is exactly that.
479
00:28:27,660 --> 00:28:29,001
I'm telling you, I looked--
480
00:28:29,161 --> 00:28:30,750
Never mind. He just walked in.
481
00:28:30,912 --> 00:28:33,878
Brock. All right, listen,
pull yourself together.
482
00:28:34,042 --> 00:28:36,590
We've got to go out here
and throw the press a bone.
483
00:28:36,752 --> 00:28:38,839
I'd like you to cancel
this news conference.
484
00:28:39,004 --> 00:28:40,427
What are you talking about?
485
00:28:40,589 --> 00:28:43,092
I have nothing to say to the press.
I'm not feeling--
486
00:28:43,258 --> 00:28:46,438
You're not feeling good.
Here, come over here. Sit down.
487
00:28:46,595 --> 00:28:49,610
I know what you're going through.
You're nervous. You're upset.
488
00:28:49,807 --> 00:28:51,563
I'm not going to die.
489
00:28:51,725 --> 00:28:54,193
Well, Brock,
we all have to go sooner or later.
490
00:28:54,352 --> 00:28:56,275
Whether you go sooner
or a little later--
491
00:28:56,481 --> 00:28:59,031
My departure's scheduled
for later rather than sooner.
492
00:28:59,192 --> 00:29:03,202
My condition is a virus that mimics
all the symptoms of a terminal disease.
493
00:29:05,030 --> 00:29:08,495
And now, here he is,
the man of the hour.
494
00:29:08,701 --> 00:29:11,668
-You're gonna pull through?
-I got the results this morning.
495
00:29:11,872 --> 00:29:13,627
Sleuth extraordinaire.
496
00:29:13,831 --> 00:29:15,124
What about your confession?
497
00:29:15,290 --> 00:29:17,178
We have signed affidavit here
from the--
498
00:29:17,336 --> 00:29:20,431
From the guard who said
he positively identifies your wife.
499
00:29:20,588 --> 00:29:21,928
It corroborates your story.
500
00:29:22,090 --> 00:29:24,676
There's no way we can't slam
this through, slam dunk.
501
00:29:24,885 --> 00:29:27,221
Detective beyond compare.
502
00:29:27,428 --> 00:29:30,146
Mr. Addison I can look forward
to a speedy recovery...
503
00:29:30,307 --> 00:29:32,277
...and along and prosperous life.
504
00:29:32,434 --> 00:29:34,654
It wouldn't make sense
to spend it behind bars.
505
00:29:34,854 --> 00:29:38,995
The man who ratiocinated his way
up the ranks.
506
00:29:39,192 --> 00:29:40,235
Look, look, I'm--
507
00:29:40,402 --> 00:29:44,077
Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy
to hear about your good news.
508
00:29:44,237 --> 00:29:46,492
But this puts me
in an awkward position here.
509
00:29:46,698 --> 00:29:52,002
Who deduced and reasoned
what no other could.
510
00:29:52,204 --> 00:29:54,210
-it's not my problem.
-What do you mean?
511
00:29:54,374 --> 00:29:57,671
You're the one that wanted a story.
A legacy, you wanted a legacy.
512
00:29:57,877 --> 00:29:59,430
Legacies are for the deceased...
513
00:29:59,587 --> 00:30:02,305
...and the actuarials
for a man my age would suggest...
514
00:30:02,466 --> 00:30:05,265
...I won't be joining their numbers
for quite some time.
515
00:30:07,178 --> 00:30:08,685
The keenest eye.
516
00:30:08,888 --> 00:30:11,224
Mr. Ash even
if I could forget about this...
517
00:30:11,390 --> 00:30:14,356
...I have a responsibility to report this
to the authorities.
518
00:30:14,561 --> 00:30:16,115
The sharpest mind.
519
00:30:16,312 --> 00:30:20,026
We can't just ask the cat to jump
back in the bag once it's out, can we?
520
00:30:20,233 --> 00:30:22,701
Let's give a big
Blue Moon welcome...
521
00:30:24,404 --> 00:30:27,583
...to Mr. David Addison.
522
00:30:28,116 --> 00:30:30,501
Ash. Ash--
523
00:30:52,975 --> 00:30:54,565
Excuse me.
524
00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:57,148
Stay right where you are.
525
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,401
Be back in a minute.
526
00:30:59,606 --> 00:31:01,494
Mr. Addison.
527
00:31:01,651 --> 00:31:04,664
You check the lobby?
And the garage?
528
00:31:04,820 --> 00:31:06,956
And still no sign of him.
529
00:31:07,948 --> 00:31:10,250
All right. Thank you very much.
530
00:31:12,078 --> 00:31:14,380
Guess we can kiss our Ash goodbye.
531
00:31:15,623 --> 00:31:16,715
I'm sorry, sir.
532
00:31:31,889 --> 00:31:34,988
-Good morning, Ms. Di Pesto.
-Good morning, Ms. Hayes.
533
00:31:35,602 --> 00:31:38,401
Good to see everything getting
back to normal around here.
534
00:31:38,562 --> 00:31:40,485
I wouldn't say things
are back to normal.
535
00:31:40,691 --> 00:31:43,194
Still hot under the collar
about his media non-event?
536
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:46,997
Bitter, angry, dejected, depressed.
537
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,290
I overheard him call USA Today
and tell them they didn't have...
538
00:31:51,452 --> 00:31:54,797
-...David Addison to kick around.
-Oh, brother.
539
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,306
-David?
-Yo.
540
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:06,808
Sorry, I was a little tense yesterday.
541
00:32:07,009 --> 00:32:08,848
Yeah, you were a little tense.
542
00:32:09,011 --> 00:32:11,691
I'm also sorry about what happened
with Brock Ash.
543
00:32:11,889 --> 00:32:14,475
-it's no big deal.
-Right.
544
00:32:15,185 --> 00:32:19,028
I know you don't wanna hear this,
but things worked out for the best.
545
00:32:19,189 --> 00:32:21,526
I'm glad that you're glad
a guilty man got away.
546
00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:22,775
I didn't say that.
547
00:32:22,943 --> 00:32:27,202
I'm saying I'm relieved that as far as
we're concerned the case is closed.
548
00:32:27,780 --> 00:32:29,121
The case is closed?
549
00:32:31,368 --> 00:32:34,167
It will be as soon as
I catch this guy and nail him.
550
00:32:34,330 --> 00:32:35,966
Oh, I see.
551
00:32:36,122 --> 00:32:39,504
He schtised you
and now you're gonna schtise him.
552
00:32:39,668 --> 00:32:42,931
-Payback. Law of the jungle.
-Revenge. This is not the jungle.
553
00:32:43,130 --> 00:32:44,850
Then let me give you
more motivation:
554
00:32:45,007 --> 00:32:46,348
Cash, and lots of it.
555
00:32:46,550 --> 00:32:48,851
Museum's insurance carrier's
out a couple mil...
556
00:32:49,011 --> 00:32:50,684
...on the stolen Egyptian masks.
557
00:32:50,888 --> 00:32:54,020
They're anxious to express their
gratitude for putting Ash in jail.
558
00:32:54,224 --> 00:32:57,404
I think I'd feel better if your motives
were purely mercenary.
559
00:32:57,604 --> 00:32:58,646
Stand up.
560
00:33:00,272 --> 00:33:02,823
Ash snatched the brass ring
right out of your hand.
561
00:33:04,109 --> 00:33:06,246
The affidavit's gone.
562
00:33:07,322 --> 00:33:09,791
-You're an opportunist.
-Kennedy's room, please.
563
00:33:09,992 --> 00:33:12,327
Brock Ash provided you
with a golden opportunity.
564
00:33:12,493 --> 00:33:14,415
Only this isn't achievement.
565
00:33:14,578 --> 00:33:17,461
This is riding someone e|se's
coat tails, cashing in.
566
00:33:17,622 --> 00:33:19,676
Yeah, thank you very much.
567
00:33:24,588 --> 00:33:26,393
Duncan Kennedy just cashed out.
568
00:33:32,181 --> 00:33:35,525
The nose looks right, but there's
something about the jaw that's off.
569
00:33:35,683 --> 00:33:37,275
It needs to be more chiselled.
570
00:33:37,436 --> 00:33:39,606
I'll never forget those pouty,
bee-stung lips.
571
00:33:39,812 --> 00:33:42,398
The kiss of blush beneath
those cheekbones.
572
00:33:42,565 --> 00:33:44,618
We're gonna get this out on
the wire today.
573
00:33:44,776 --> 00:33:47,113
Thanks to you two,
Ash won't get too far.
574
00:33:47,321 --> 00:33:49,955
The department wants to
thank you for your cooperation.
575
00:33:50,115 --> 00:33:52,536
We can't let him go around
strangling people.
576
00:33:52,744 --> 00:33:54,464
Most Pls wouldn't see it that way.
577
00:33:54,662 --> 00:33:56,999
They'd wanna make the collar
and grab the glory.
578
00:33:57,164 --> 00:34:00,795
You can rest assured, you're looking
at dyed-in-the-wool do-gooders.
579
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,514
You let your Jim Rockford's...
580
00:34:02,670 --> 00:34:05,256
...and your Joe Mannix's
go for the glory. Not us.
581
00:34:05,423 --> 00:34:07,677
Mr. Addison,
may I speak with you for a moment?
582
00:34:08,218 --> 00:34:10,019
Yeah. Excuse me.
583
00:34:13,306 --> 00:34:15,311
Squeezed a frail I used to run with.
584
00:34:15,474 --> 00:34:17,977
It took some juice,
but I ran a make on those wheels.
585
00:34:18,143 --> 00:34:21,443
-And I have got the dirt on this stiff.
-What?
586
00:34:21,606 --> 00:34:23,491
The car I followed
Ash down to that day.
587
00:34:23,649 --> 00:34:27,162
Iran a description of it by a friend of
mine who works at the Auto Club.
588
00:34:27,321 --> 00:34:29,241
Look, a rental leased to Ash.
589
00:34:29,404 --> 00:34:32,253
That's the address.
A downtown hotel.
590
00:34:32,410 --> 00:34:35,920
Burty-boy, if this pans out I'll dedicate
my memoirs to you. Thanks.
591
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:39,715
Maddie, gotta go. The Anselmo case
has reached a flash point.
592
00:34:39,874 --> 00:34:43,553
Officers, if there's anything we can do,
don't hesitate to hesitate. Come on.
593
00:34:53,139 --> 00:34:56,353
This doesn't look like the kind of hotel
Mr. Anselmo would stay at.
594
00:34:56,516 --> 00:34:58,486
That depends on which Anselmo.
595
00:34:58,644 --> 00:35:01,657
The west coast Anselmos lost
their money in the October crash.
596
00:35:01,814 --> 00:35:05,111
The east coast Anselmos,
on the other hand, stayed rather fluid.
597
00:35:05,275 --> 00:35:07,743
I have the distinct feeling
I'm being shanghaied...
598
00:35:07,902 --> 00:35:09,909
...with another one
of your secret agendas.
599
00:35:10,072 --> 00:35:11,912
Nonsense. Room service.
600
00:35:12,074 --> 00:35:14,458
I thought he was expecting us.
601
00:35:15,829 --> 00:35:20,669
Mr. Anselmo,
Maddie Hayes and David Addison.
602
00:35:21,917 --> 00:35:23,804
Oh, now, look,
you went and spooked him.
603
00:35:31,845 --> 00:35:34,016
-That was Brock Ash.
-What's he doing here?
604
00:35:34,180 --> 00:35:36,683
You knew where he was
and you didn't tell the police?
605
00:35:36,850 --> 00:35:39,697
I knew nothing of the kind.
Bad enough he murdered a man...
606
00:35:39,853 --> 00:35:42,273
...let alone stick his nose
in the Anselmo case.
607
00:35:46,068 --> 00:35:48,997
There goes your chance
to be part of history.
608
00:35:49,196 --> 00:35:51,166
There goes my chance
to become a pizza.
609
00:35:51,323 --> 00:35:53,874
Are you sure it says
we gotta do this in the script?
610
00:35:54,076 --> 00:35:56,875
-Out of my way.
-Wait a second. This is man's work.
611
00:36:00,834 --> 00:36:03,798
-Watch it. Watch it.
-I'm just trying to help.
612
00:36:06,964 --> 00:36:08,600
David.
613
00:36:13,429 --> 00:36:15,268
Thank you.
614
00:36:17,517 --> 00:36:19,023
All right, look, Spiderman...
615
00:36:19,184 --> 00:36:20,940
...why don't you and me go inside.
616
00:36:21,144 --> 00:36:24,277
Come on, slip inside, order up
a mess of flies from room service.
617
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:28,153
Sorry, but I intend to spend the rest
of my life on a beach somewhere.
618
00:36:28,362 --> 00:36:30,282
Come on, you're all washed up, Ash.
619
00:36:30,445 --> 00:36:33,127
These ledges go around and around.
There's no way down.
620
00:36:33,324 --> 00:36:35,957
Then it becomes a test
of endurance, Mr. Addison.
621
00:36:36,118 --> 00:36:39,667
If I were a betting man,
I'd put my money on the cat burglar.
622
00:36:45,379 --> 00:36:47,098
Hold on, Dave's coming.
623
00:36:47,296 --> 00:36:48,470
David, be careful.
624
00:36:48,672 --> 00:36:52,019
Now, Maddie, you're starting
to repeat yourself in your old age.
625
00:36:58,099 --> 00:37:00,983
Mr. Addison,
the mask I stole was cursed.
626
00:37:01,979 --> 00:37:04,992
-I'd hate to see you fall victim.
-Cursed-shmursed, hang on.
627
00:37:07,026 --> 00:37:08,746
-I can't.
-Come on, hang on.
628
00:37:08,901 --> 00:37:12,165
You're trying to get out of
that dinner you're gonna owe me.
629
00:37:12,365 --> 00:37:13,918
I get to choose the restaurant.
630
00:37:14,449 --> 00:37:15,956
David.
631
00:37:28,924 --> 00:37:32,683
Ash's obituary will make the paper.
That would have made him happy.
632
00:37:32,885 --> 00:37:36,267
-Yeah, he made a splash.
-There's nothing you could have done.
633
00:37:36,471 --> 00:37:39,651
Double nothing would have been
a whole lot better than what I did.
634
00:37:40,227 --> 00:37:42,065
Maddie, I'm gonna
go on record here.
635
00:37:42,228 --> 00:37:46,073
You were right, I was wrong.
We shouldn't have taken this case.
636
00:37:46,274 --> 00:37:49,869
Just because I didn't want you to take
this case doesn't mean you're wrong.
637
00:37:50,028 --> 00:37:52,496
You were passionate.
You wanted to see it through.
638
00:37:52,698 --> 00:37:55,877
If I'd let well enough alone
he wouldn't be one with the sidewalk.
639
00:37:56,034 --> 00:37:57,588
-It was an accident.
-It was not.
640
00:37:57,745 --> 00:38:00,425
He was on that ledge
because I chased him out there.
641
00:38:00,623 --> 00:38:03,173
You chased him out there
because he was running away.
642
00:38:03,333 --> 00:38:07,390
He wouldn't have run if
he wasn't guilty. He killed a man.
643
00:38:07,588 --> 00:38:11,301
Hold it before this turns into some
bloodless, long-winded, abstract...
644
00:38:11,466 --> 00:38:14,599
...lecturing debate about
capital punishment or prison reform...
645
00:38:14,762 --> 00:38:17,147
...or how Brock Ash
was probably a middle child...
646
00:38:17,306 --> 00:38:19,607
...because middle children
have it the roughest.
647
00:38:19,767 --> 00:38:23,149
Let me nip this bud. A man died.
I could have stopped it and I didn't.
648
00:38:23,354 --> 00:38:25,691
-You did everything--
-I've gotta live with that.
649
00:38:25,856 --> 00:38:28,905
For crying out loud,
you risked your life to save that guy.
650
00:38:29,068 --> 00:38:31,405
But it takes two to hold on
and he couldn't.
651
00:38:32,864 --> 00:38:36,162
I wonder what the last thing
that went through his mind was.
652
00:38:36,367 --> 00:38:38,918
Well, I can guarantee you
it wasn't the perfect crime.
653
00:38:39,078 --> 00:38:41,463
I was with my grandfather
when he died.
654
00:38:41,623 --> 00:38:44,421
He was a big wheel on
the Chicago commodities exchange.
655
00:38:44,584 --> 00:38:47,514
All he can talk about was a snow fort
he built when he was 9.
656
00:38:48,129 --> 00:38:51,927
He packed the snow in shoe boxes
and used slush as mortar.
657
00:38:52,508 --> 00:38:54,264
The walls were eight-feet tall.
658
00:38:54,428 --> 00:38:57,146
And then the January thaw came along
and it was gone.
659
00:38:57,348 --> 00:38:59,898
-He couldn't hold on.
-Well, David, he was 97.
660
00:39:00,100 --> 00:39:01,191
No. I mean, Brock Ash.
661
00:39:01,352 --> 00:39:04,365
He had both hands around the belt.
His feet were on the wall...
662
00:39:04,522 --> 00:39:06,907
-...but he couldn't keep a grip.
-He'd been sick.
663
00:39:07,108 --> 00:39:10,120
Yeah, if he couldn't hold on
tight enough to save his life...
664
00:39:10,276 --> 00:39:12,283
...he couldn't have
squeezed hard enough...
665
00:39:12,446 --> 00:39:15,661
-...to crush Duncan Kennedy's larynx.
-If he didn't do it, who did?
666
00:39:15,865 --> 00:39:18,203
We should go back to the scene
of the perfect crime.
667
00:39:25,251 --> 00:39:26,461
Ms. Hayes.
668
00:39:26,628 --> 00:39:29,760
I hope Monsignor Viola
got back to Rome safely.
669
00:39:29,922 --> 00:39:32,555
-Mr. Viola is not a Monsignor.
-Yeah, he got defrocked.
670
00:39:32,716 --> 00:39:35,137
Something about whipped cream
and a feather duster.
671
00:39:35,344 --> 00:39:37,564
-I'm sorry.
-Yeah, he landed on his feet.
672
00:39:37,722 --> 00:39:40,356
-Got a gig as pit boss in Vegas.
-Ms. Van Drigg|e--
673
00:39:40,558 --> 00:39:42,693
-Breegle.
-We're private detectives.
674
00:39:42,852 --> 00:39:46,316
-This is my associate, David Addison.
-Is anything wrong?
675
00:39:46,522 --> 00:39:49,203
We'd like to ask you few questions
about Duncan Kennedy.
676
00:39:49,358 --> 00:39:52,290
Oh, Duncan.
What a terrific old gentlemen.
677
00:39:52,488 --> 00:39:54,705
-He was strangled last night.
-Oh, no.
678
00:39:56,408 --> 00:39:58,626
That's awful.
Who would have done such a thing?
679
00:39:58,827 --> 00:40:02,091
We have reason to believe that
he knew something about a burglary...
680
00:40:02,248 --> 00:40:03,671
...that occurred years ago.
681
00:40:03,875 --> 00:40:06,508
The man who committed
the actual crime died last night.
682
00:40:06,668 --> 00:40:09,137
Now, he said that he stole
a famous Egyptian mask.
683
00:40:09,339 --> 00:40:13,135
From Amenhotep's temple at Luxor.
It was priceless.
684
00:40:13,342 --> 00:40:17,103
But the insurance company is offering
rewards for a laundry list of items.
685
00:40:17,304 --> 00:40:19,475
Obviously the thief is lying.
686
00:40:19,681 --> 00:40:20,856
Oh, he was lying, yes.
687
00:40:21,017 --> 00:40:24,693
He actually confessed to a crime much
larger than the one that he committed.
688
00:40:24,854 --> 00:40:27,617
We think someone was piggybacking
on the criminal's crime.
689
00:40:27,814 --> 00:40:30,070
Poor Duncan.
690
00:40:31,111 --> 00:40:33,114
What happened to your nails?
691
00:40:33,696 --> 00:40:36,710
I broke one last night...
692
00:40:36,909 --> 00:40:39,494
...so I decided to cut them all off.
693
00:40:40,746 --> 00:40:44,672
I don't know many women who would
cut off nine nails for the sake of one.
694
00:40:45,416 --> 00:40:46,839
I'm a stickler for symmetry.
695
00:40:47,042 --> 00:40:49,972
Don't you hate those bits
of evidence under your fingernails?
696
00:40:50,130 --> 00:40:51,933
It just ruins a girl's manicure.
697
00:40:52,132 --> 00:40:55,560
Duncan called you, didn't he?
To warn you that we'd been to see him.
698
00:40:55,761 --> 00:40:58,691
What fertile imaginations
you both have.
699
00:41:05,061 --> 00:41:06,734
Let's go.
700
00:41:46,103 --> 00:41:48,441
Hey, my lips.
701
00:41:48,649 --> 00:41:50,118
Stop those lips.
702
00:41:56,072 --> 00:41:58,078
Come on, Maddie, get in.
703
00:41:59,619 --> 00:42:01,171
Let's go.
704
00:42:01,702 --> 00:42:03,839
We can't drive this. it's a work of art.
705
00:42:03,996 --> 00:42:07,426
Art-shmart, Van Breeg|e's
giving us the wiggle. Hang on.
706
00:42:18,387 --> 00:42:19,513
No!
707
00:42:24,060 --> 00:42:25,863
A full twist with a double pike.
708
00:42:26,020 --> 00:42:27,573
I give it a 9.5.
709
00:42:30,732 --> 00:42:32,205
on, God!
710
00:42:38,741 --> 00:42:40,747
Hey, who turned out the lights?
711
00:42:40,952 --> 00:42:42,293
Turn, David, turn, turn.
712
00:42:48,543 --> 00:42:50,595
David.
713
00:43:02,014 --> 00:43:04,944
-David, look. Turn, turn!
-This is tricky, Maddie.
714
00:43:05,101 --> 00:43:06,941
Rebel Without a Cause, James Dean.
715
00:43:07,104 --> 00:43:09,690
-He died in the end.
-Oh, yeah.
716
00:43:30,169 --> 00:43:33,384
-Hit the brakes, David.
-Brakes? What brakes?
717
00:43:44,850 --> 00:43:46,486
Talk about life imitating art.
718
00:43:46,686 --> 00:43:49,154
Now, I could make
a double entendre here...
719
00:43:49,313 --> 00:43:51,697
...but I'm doing my part
to clean up the airwaves.
720
00:43:51,857 --> 00:43:54,492
Just say no to innuendo.
721
00:43:54,652 --> 00:43:55,945
Hang on, Maddie.
722
00:44:01,076 --> 00:44:02,961
Shark.
723
00:44:04,286 --> 00:44:05,794
Made you look. Hang on, Maddie.
724
00:44:05,956 --> 00:44:08,126
David, get me out off this thing.
725
00:44:08,290 --> 00:44:09,881
This is a good shade for you.
726
00:44:10,085 --> 00:44:11,557
Slide down.
727
00:44:12,671 --> 00:44:14,806
Slide down here.
728
00:44:18,385 --> 00:44:20,970
David, look what you've done.
729
00:44:23,891 --> 00:44:28,234
Hey, pal, I'm sorry. If you got a hammer
or something, I'll help you fix it.
730
00:44:28,438 --> 00:44:29,943
Fix it?
731
00:44:30,105 --> 00:44:31,611
I wanna worship it.
732
00:44:33,610 --> 00:44:34,902
I now realise it.
733
00:44:35,069 --> 00:44:37,786
All I did was assemble
the raw materials for your vision.
734
00:44:38,322 --> 00:44:42,877
But you-- You gave it wings,
dimension, scope.
735
00:44:43,035 --> 00:44:44,543
-Pith.
-Pith?
736
00:44:44,746 --> 00:44:46,133
Yes.
737
00:44:46,330 --> 00:44:48,549
The last 10,000 years
of artistic expression...
738
00:44:48,708 --> 00:44:51,673
...have simply been a prelude
to this moment.
739
00:44:52,544 --> 00:44:55,130
I want to know everything
about your work.
740
00:44:55,339 --> 00:44:58,472
Well, I showed early promise
in Miss Manner's class.
741
00:44:58,635 --> 00:44:59,928
It was in the second grade.
742
00:45:00,095 --> 00:45:02,265
I worked mostly with crayons
and Lincoln Logs.
743
00:45:02,431 --> 00:45:04,517
I began doing things with
Mr. Potato Head...
744
00:45:04,682 --> 00:45:06,403
...that no one had ever done before.
745
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,063
In my college years,
I moved on to performance art...
746
00:45:09,228 --> 00:45:12,528
...drinking vast quantities of beer
and throwing up on the carpet.
747
00:45:17,529 --> 00:45:20,114
-Ms. Hayes, did you hear the news?
-What?
748
00:45:20,324 --> 00:45:23,836
All this time, Mr. Addison's been
a genius and we didn't know about it.
749
00:45:23,994 --> 00:45:26,498
I always sensed
a hidden reservoir of talent.
750
00:45:26,663 --> 00:45:28,883
Look, he even autographed to me.
751
00:45:29,083 --> 00:45:31,634
Oh, brother.
752
00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:42,137
Congratulations.
753
00:45:42,304 --> 00:45:45,270
You've finally earned your place
in history.
754
00:45:49,396 --> 00:45:51,650
Two hundred dollars a day per diem.
755
00:45:59,406 --> 00:46:00,877
-And a limousine.
-A limo?
756
00:46:01,074 --> 00:46:02,628
Stretch.
757
00:46:14,087 --> 00:46:16,672
It's all set.
You've been commissioned to install...
758
00:46:16,839 --> 00:46:20,303
...a 12-foot pile of underwear
in the Place de Ia Concorde.
759
00:46:20,509 --> 00:46:22,100
-Leave for where?
-Paris.
760
00:46:22,303 --> 00:46:25,152
-Texas?
-They want my oeuvre in the Louvre.
761
00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:27,568
Oh, David, you were in a wreck...
762
00:46:27,726 --> 00:46:30,111
...you're lucky they didn't
revoke your license...
763
00:46:30,270 --> 00:46:34,150
...and now a bunch of art sheep
are saying you're a master?
764
00:46:35,026 --> 00:46:37,909
-That's hysterical.
-Hey, I don't make the rules.
765
00:46:38,112 --> 00:46:41,992
Put your artistic endeavours on hold
because we have a ton of work to do.
766
00:46:42,158 --> 00:46:44,661
It's tax time.
We have to close the corporation.
767
00:46:44,870 --> 00:46:47,289
-Can't we can do en route?
-En route?
768
00:46:47,913 --> 00:46:51,711
-You're coming with me, aren't you?.
-I did negotiate for two tickets.
769
00:46:51,919 --> 00:46:53,637
To Paris?
770
00:46:53,836 --> 00:46:56,600
-Sure. I've gotta go pack.
-No, no, no.
771
00:46:57,798 --> 00:46:58,843
Go exactly as you are.
772
00:46:59,007 --> 00:47:02,687
I'll need to bone up on your anatomy
for an ambitious nude by yours truly...
773
00:47:02,846 --> 00:47:04,353
...Vincent van Addison.
774
00:47:04,555 --> 00:47:07,486
And I know just what you should
cut off and send in the mail.
775
00:47:09,227 --> 00:47:10,615
What?
63556
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