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00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. Outland (PVP) server World of Warcraft - Torporr (character name).
2
00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:13,796
Boxers!
3
00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:02,220
Not one step further.
4
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:05,682
The keeper
of the lmperial Seal.
5
00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:08,268
Just the man l was looking for.
6
00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:12,522
A woman.
7
00:05:12,605 --> 00:05:14,941
You Chinese are
very progressive.
8
00:05:51,561 --> 00:05:53,521
A gift from an old friend.
9
00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:56,316
Wu Chow.
10
00:05:57,192 --> 00:05:59,861
He wanted me to send
his regards.
11
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,700
Father!
12
00:07:00,171 --> 00:07:01,798
Father.
13
00:07:01,881 --> 00:07:06,261
The seal.
You must get it back.
14
00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:09,681
l promise.
15
00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:14,561
Give this... to your brother.
16
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,217
What are you reading?
17
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:50,930
Oh.
"Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy."
18
00:07:51,014 --> 00:07:52,265
lt's incredible.
19
00:07:52,307 --> 00:07:54,434
Roy's just taken out
the Mummy's entire army
20
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:58,021
of zombie confederate soldiers,
and he only had one bullet.
21
00:07:58,104 --> 00:07:59,772
That's impossible.
22
00:07:59,814 --> 00:08:01,107
Oh, no, it's not.
23
00:08:01,149 --> 00:08:03,818
Roy figured out
the physics of the canyon
24
00:08:03,902 --> 00:08:06,362
and then ricocheted a bullet
off the canyon wall.
25
00:08:06,446 --> 00:08:08,448
Nailed each zombie
through the heart.
26
00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:10,783
What about the Shanghai Kid?
27
00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:12,619
He was captured
and knocked out on page 10
28
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,329
while he was polishing
Roy's pearl handles.
29
00:08:14,412 --> 00:08:15,496
Don't you worry.
30
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:18,625
Roy's about to save him from
becoming a human sacrifice.
31
00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:21,503
Those stories are all lies.
32
00:08:21,586 --> 00:08:22,629
No. See?
33
00:08:22,712 --> 00:08:23,963
lt says right here
on the back.
34
00:08:24,047 --> 00:08:27,217
"Author Sage McCallister bases
all his stories
35
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:29,135
on firsthand accounts."
36
00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:53,535
Sorry, sheriff.
No princess.
37
00:08:58,081 --> 00:08:59,791
Every day you meet
the noon stage.
38
00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:02,335
Every day it's the same story.
39
00:09:02,377 --> 00:09:04,170
She's not coming back.
40
00:09:04,212 --> 00:09:07,423
Pei Pei's married to her work
in San Francisco.
41
00:09:07,507 --> 00:09:08,925
Modern woman.
42
00:09:09,008 --> 00:09:11,261
Sheriff, you got a parcel.
43
00:09:12,637 --> 00:09:14,514
Hey, maybe it's from her!
44
00:09:14,514 --> 00:09:17,058
No. lt's from my sister
in China.
45
00:10:07,358 --> 00:10:08,818
l know.
46
00:10:13,198 --> 00:10:15,533
l know.
l must go.
47
00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:18,995
Stay here and be a good horsey
for the new sheriff.
48
00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:27,587
Uh, sheriff,
that stage is headed east.
49
00:10:27,629 --> 00:10:30,340
lsn't China kind of west
of here?
50
00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:33,092
l'm not going to China.
l'm going to New York.
51
00:10:33,176 --> 00:10:34,636
Roy invested my money.
52
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:38,306
ls it true that he lives in a
penthouse at the top of the Ritz
53
00:10:38,515 --> 00:10:40,016
surrounded by dozens
of beautiful women
54
00:10:40,141 --> 00:10:41,768
at his every beck and call?
55
00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,269
That's the old Roy.
56
00:10:43,353 --> 00:10:45,647
He's married, settled down.
57
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,483
Trust me, he's changed.
58
00:10:50,026 --> 00:10:52,654
So there we were.
Completely outnumbered.
59
00:10:52,737 --> 00:10:55,490
He didn't have to tell me
we didn't stand a chance.
60
00:10:55,532 --> 00:10:58,785
So l send the Shanghai Kid
and the princess out the back.
61
00:10:58,910 --> 00:11:01,454
Poor Shanghai Kid.
He was so frightened.
62
00:11:01,538 --> 00:11:03,831
He forgot to thank me
for saving his life.
63
00:11:04,666 --> 00:11:05,667
l'm used to that.
64
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:09,629
Now, l returned to the front,
and l counted to three...
65
00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:11,840
and l burst out of the mission.
66
00:11:11,923 --> 00:11:15,844
Pearl handles blazing.
Lead flying everywhere.
67
00:11:15,885 --> 00:11:17,887
And not a single bullet
touched me.
68
00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:20,306
-No!
-Yeah.
69
00:11:20,348 --> 00:11:22,517
What happened
to the emperor's gold?
70
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,852
Well, we divided it up.
71
00:11:23,935 --> 00:11:27,021
l insisted on giving my share
to the lndians.
72
00:11:27,105 --> 00:11:29,274
The savages?
73
00:11:29,357 --> 00:11:33,027
Please don't ever call
those noble people savages.
74
00:11:33,111 --> 00:11:34,320
lf being proud of your body
75
00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:36,865
and wanting to ride around naked
all day makes you a savage,
76
00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:39,868
then, by God,
you're drinking with a savage.
77
00:11:54,257 --> 00:11:56,634
And that is what you call
a French toast.
78
00:11:56,718 --> 00:12:00,346
You are so sophisticated,
Mr. O'Bannon.
79
00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:02,348
Whoo!
80
00:12:02,432 --> 00:12:05,643
Who's up for some more bubbly?
81
00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:19,657
Reach for the sky, Roy.
82
00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:21,868
Say that again.
83
00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:24,120
Reach for the sky, Roy.
84
00:12:24,204 --> 00:12:26,748
Chon Wang!
85
00:12:26,831 --> 00:12:28,625
You sly son of a gun!
86
00:12:28,708 --> 00:12:30,668
-Look at you!
-Look at you!
87
00:12:30,752 --> 00:12:33,838
-What brings you to New York?
-My share of the gold.
88
00:12:33,922 --> 00:12:36,216
Refresh my memory.
What gold?
89
00:12:36,257 --> 00:12:38,384
The emperor's gold.
90
00:12:38,468 --> 00:12:41,012
Okay, now, that gold is in
91
00:12:41,095 --> 00:12:43,890
what the Wall Street pros call
a long-term investment.
92
00:12:43,932 --> 00:12:45,892
We can't touch it
because it's building.
93
00:12:45,934 --> 00:12:46,935
l need it tonight.
94
00:12:47,018 --> 00:12:48,937
You just got here.
Let's celebrate.
95
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:49,938
No. l don't have time.
96
00:12:50,021 --> 00:12:53,399
-You just got to the big city.
-My father's been killed.
97
00:12:57,612 --> 00:12:58,947
Chon, l'm...
98
00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:00,949
You need the money to get back
for the funeral?
99
00:13:01,032 --> 00:13:04,285
No. l must go to England.
The ship leaves tonight.
100
00:13:04,369 --> 00:13:05,870
Your father died in England?
101
00:13:05,954 --> 00:13:08,665
China. My sister followed
the murderer to London.
102
00:13:08,748 --> 00:13:12,293
Wait. Murderer.
l'm a little bit mixed up.
103
00:13:12,377 --> 00:13:14,379
Let me see if l can get
the facts straight.
104
00:13:14,462 --> 00:13:17,549
You have a sister? You never
told me you had a sister.
105
00:13:17,632 --> 00:13:19,968
ls she pretty or does she look
like you? Be honest.
106
00:13:20,051 --> 00:13:22,387
Roy, l need my money!
107
00:13:22,428 --> 00:13:24,389
l don't like
that tone of voice.
108
00:13:24,472 --> 00:13:27,517
You think after all we've been
through l'd stiff you?
109
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,686
l'm doing pretty well
for myself.
110
00:13:29,769 --> 00:13:31,354
Yeah.
111
00:13:31,938 --> 00:13:34,399
-l'm sorry, Roy.
-That's okay.
112
00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:36,484
You're going through
a really tough time right now.
113
00:13:36,568 --> 00:13:38,778
You got to be more trusting
of people, okay?
114
00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:40,572
Look at me.
lt's Roy.
115
00:13:40,655 --> 00:13:42,782
The couple at table 5
is ready to order.
116
00:13:46,619 --> 00:13:48,162
Do you work here?
117
00:13:48,246 --> 00:13:49,497
No, l don't work here.
118
00:13:49,581 --> 00:13:52,000
lt looks like these guys
are wearing a similar jacket.
119
00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:54,544
Roy, here's your cut
of the tips.
120
00:13:59,674 --> 00:14:00,925
lt's the craziest thing.
121
00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:03,636
l guess because
l come in here so much
122
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,138
they're mistaking me
for a waiter.
123
00:14:05,221 --> 00:14:07,849
-lt's embarrassing.
-You lost the gold.
124
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:11,269
-Not all of it.
-Where's the rest?
125
00:14:11,352 --> 00:14:15,231
l have one word for you.
Zeppelin.
126
00:14:15,315 --> 00:14:17,025
l need my money now!
127
00:14:17,108 --> 00:14:18,902
-Easy, easy.
128
00:14:20,695 --> 00:14:22,197
Will you do anything
for this money?
129
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,157
Yes.
l must leave tonight.
130
00:14:24,199 --> 00:14:25,992
Okay.
Take this key.
131
00:14:26,075 --> 00:14:27,994
Go to the room.
Get cleaned up.
132
00:14:28,036 --> 00:14:29,621
Your old pal Roy's got a plan.
133
00:14:29,704 --> 00:14:31,831
Go! Come on!
134
00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:50,558
Howdy, big boy.
135
00:15:01,027 --> 00:15:01,945
What?
136
00:15:02,028 --> 00:15:04,697
There's a woman in there!
She wants me to sleep with her.
137
00:15:04,781 --> 00:15:05,865
Of course she does.
138
00:15:05,907 --> 00:15:08,117
l told her the Great Wall
ain't the only big thing
139
00:15:08,201 --> 00:15:09,160
coming out of China.
140
00:15:09,244 --> 00:15:11,788
-Why did you say that?
-So you could get the money.
141
00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:13,957
l will not sleep with women
for money!
142
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:14,958
Why?
143
00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:17,168
l'm gonna sleep with her
for money.
144
00:15:17,794 --> 00:15:20,547
Chon, just go in there
and do your business
145
00:15:20,588 --> 00:15:22,715
and think about your sister
in England.
146
00:15:22,757 --> 00:15:24,217
-What?
-Roy!
147
00:15:24,259 --> 00:15:26,094
-Duty calls.
-Roy!
148
00:15:31,766 --> 00:15:33,643
Good evening, Mr. Mayor.
149
00:15:33,726 --> 00:15:35,061
Where are they?
150
00:15:35,103 --> 00:15:36,271
Who?
151
00:15:37,605 --> 00:15:39,065
My daughters.
152
00:15:39,107 --> 00:15:40,233
10th floor.
153
00:15:47,323 --> 00:15:49,784
Roy?
Roy, you got trouble.
154
00:15:49,826 --> 00:15:51,411
Roy!
155
00:15:51,494 --> 00:15:54,038
l got to check on something.
l'll be right back.
156
00:15:56,457 --> 00:15:58,084
Chon, new plan.
We got to go.
157
00:15:58,168 --> 00:15:59,919
-Chon, what are you doing?!
158
00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:01,254
l'm fixing her back.
159
00:16:01,296 --> 00:16:03,798
Put her down,
you decadent Philistine.
160
00:16:06,217 --> 00:16:08,219
Hey, Chon, come on!
Let's go!
161
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:10,513
-Bye-bye.
-Bye.
162
00:16:10,597 --> 00:16:12,432
Come on!
163
00:16:14,017 --> 00:16:16,269
l don't understand.
What's going on?
164
00:16:16,311 --> 00:16:17,604
l don't have time to explain.
165
00:16:17,645 --> 00:16:20,148
All you have to know is there
are bad men after us...
166
00:16:20,231 --> 00:16:21,608
but l'm in the right.
167
00:16:21,691 --> 00:16:26,154
-Roy.
-You gotta trust me on this.
168
00:16:26,196 --> 00:16:27,280
Okay, look.
169
00:16:27,363 --> 00:16:30,283
l'm in a transitional phase
in my life.
170
00:16:30,325 --> 00:16:31,826
-But...
-But what?
171
00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:35,288
You want to know the truth?
172
00:16:35,371 --> 00:16:37,373
l'm a little lost right now.
173
00:16:37,457 --> 00:16:39,459
l see you.
You've got a sense of purpose.
174
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:43,338
But look at me.
l'm a 30-year-old waiter/gigolo.
175
00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:45,715
Where's the future in that?
176
00:16:50,178 --> 00:16:52,263
So what's the plan?
177
00:16:52,347 --> 00:16:54,182
You were always
my compass, Chon.
178
00:16:54,265 --> 00:16:56,518
The plan.
You ask me the right questions.
179
00:16:56,601 --> 00:16:57,560
The plan?
180
00:16:57,644 --> 00:17:00,355
The plan, l think,
is to find the right woman.
181
00:17:00,438 --> 00:17:02,857
Raise a lot of children
and teach them values.
182
00:17:02,941 --> 00:17:05,693
No, Roy.
The plan to get out of here.
183
00:17:05,777 --> 00:17:07,529
Okay, the plan.
Here we go.
184
00:17:18,957 --> 00:17:20,583
-Cops! Cops!
-They can help us.
185
00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:22,961
No, no.
Chon, not these cops.
186
00:17:23,044 --> 00:17:26,005
These are dirty cops.
They take advantage of people.
187
00:17:26,047 --> 00:17:30,510
Now, if they stop us, remember,
l'm not Roy O'Bannon.
188
00:17:30,593 --> 00:17:32,053
Who are you?
189
00:17:32,095 --> 00:17:35,390
l'm your friend Smoky Desperado
from the West.
190
00:17:35,473 --> 00:17:36,724
And who am l?
191
00:17:36,808 --> 00:17:38,852
You. You're Benihana.
192
00:17:38,935 --> 00:17:41,062
-Benihana.
-Yeah.
193
00:17:41,145 --> 00:17:44,649
You teach crippled children yoga
here in the city.
194
00:17:44,732 --> 00:17:47,735
-You go first.
-No! Why me?
195
00:17:47,819 --> 00:17:50,196
Because you blend in, okay?
196
00:17:50,321 --> 00:17:53,241
Now, go!
Don't let them see you!
197
00:17:54,993 --> 00:17:56,077
Benihana.
198
00:18:12,552 --> 00:18:14,262
Hey! Hey!
199
00:19:17,116 --> 00:19:19,786
Chon!
200
00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:21,371
Come on.
Stop wasting time.
201
00:19:26,042 --> 00:19:26,918
You!
202
00:19:27,043 --> 00:19:29,254
Chon, l found our ticket
out of here.
203
00:19:30,797 --> 00:19:32,131
We're on our way.
204
00:19:32,257 --> 00:19:34,384
Looks like old Roy
came through again.
205
00:19:34,467 --> 00:19:36,427
Just like old times, Chon.
206
00:19:36,511 --> 00:19:38,263
Check over there!
207
00:19:38,346 --> 00:19:41,391
-Over to the alley!
-That way!
208
00:19:44,602 --> 00:19:47,480
Yeah, just like old times.
209
00:19:47,564 --> 00:19:49,315
Will you forget about the gold
for a second?
210
00:19:49,315 --> 00:19:51,109
You're gonna have more money
than you ever dreamed of
211
00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:52,944
when that first zeppelin
takes off.
212
00:19:52,986 --> 00:19:56,114
Why do l always believe you?
213
00:19:56,197 --> 00:19:57,991
What do you mean?
214
00:19:58,032 --> 00:19:59,576
You're lucky l didn't invest
215
00:19:59,659 --> 00:20:02,620
in that ridiculous
automobile idea.
216
00:20:02,704 --> 00:20:04,539
Yeah, that's gonna make
a lot of money.
217
00:20:29,564 --> 00:20:30,940
What's that?
218
00:20:31,024 --> 00:20:33,568
Doghouse.
l'm in the doghouse.
219
00:20:34,485 --> 00:20:36,237
Oh, come on, Chon.
220
00:20:36,321 --> 00:20:38,281
Look, l'm sorry l lied.
221
00:20:38,323 --> 00:20:40,867
l just didn't want to
disappoint you.
222
00:20:42,202 --> 00:20:44,245
That's exactly what l mean.
223
00:20:44,329 --> 00:20:45,872
l can't take that look.
224
00:20:45,997 --> 00:20:48,666
l learned it from my father.
225
00:20:48,708 --> 00:20:50,835
That's how he used to look
at me.
226
00:20:52,086 --> 00:20:54,714
What did your dad do?
Was he an lmperial Guard?
227
00:20:54,756 --> 00:20:55,798
No.
228
00:20:55,924 --> 00:20:58,760
Much more important.
229
00:20:58,885 --> 00:21:01,346
He was the keeper
of the lmperial Seal.
230
00:21:01,387 --> 00:21:02,847
That's what l love
about China.
231
00:21:02,931 --> 00:21:05,767
Everybody's job description
sounds so damn cool.
232
00:21:05,808 --> 00:21:08,811
The seal has been symbol
of the emperor's power
233
00:21:08,937 --> 00:21:10,104
since Genghis Khan.
234
00:21:10,146 --> 00:21:13,483
lt has been passed down
from one emperor to another.
235
00:21:13,525 --> 00:21:17,070
My family have been watching
over it for 12 generations.
236
00:21:17,153 --> 00:21:18,738
12 generations?
237
00:21:20,114 --> 00:21:22,867
My father and l used to
skip stones across the moat
238
00:21:22,909 --> 00:21:27,163
and talk about a day
l would follow his footsteps.
239
00:21:28,706 --> 00:21:31,626
l was his only son.
240
00:21:31,709 --> 00:21:35,296
lf l'd have been there,
l could have protected him.
241
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:37,757
lt's not your fault.
You were 3,000 miles away.
242
00:21:41,094 --> 00:21:42,804
What's with that little box?
243
00:21:43,763 --> 00:21:47,642
My sister sent it to me
from my father.
244
00:21:47,684 --> 00:21:50,478
-There's a message inside.
-What's it say?
245
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,273
lt's a puzzle box.
l don't know how to open yet.
246
00:21:53,314 --> 00:21:54,274
What do you mean?
247
00:21:54,315 --> 00:21:56,901
Get a hammer and smash it open
so you can see what it says.
248
00:21:56,985 --> 00:21:59,153
l must have patience.
249
00:21:59,279 --> 00:22:01,614
By the time
l'm able to open it...
250
00:22:01,656 --> 00:22:03,032
l will be ready to read
the message.
251
00:22:03,157 --> 00:22:04,325
Come on, Confucius.
252
00:22:04,367 --> 00:22:06,619
That's the corniest thing
l've ever heard.
253
00:22:09,706 --> 00:22:11,541
Let me see this.
254
00:22:14,586 --> 00:22:16,087
You know what?
255
00:22:16,171 --> 00:22:18,131
We're gonna go to England.
256
00:22:18,173 --> 00:22:19,674
We're gonna find
your dad's killer.
257
00:22:19,716 --> 00:22:21,217
We're gonna get
that seal back.
258
00:22:21,301 --> 00:22:22,760
There's no reward
for this, Roy.
259
00:22:22,844 --> 00:22:24,095
Who said anything
about a reward?
260
00:22:24,179 --> 00:22:27,640
l'm talking about friendship,
loyalty, honor.
261
00:22:27,724 --> 00:22:29,225
Okay?
262
00:22:30,143 --> 00:22:31,686
Thank you, Roy.
263
00:22:34,439 --> 00:22:36,482
And l hear England is ass soup.
264
00:22:36,566 --> 00:22:38,776
A lot of pretty girls there.
265
00:22:50,955 --> 00:22:53,666
First order of business,
my Lords...
266
00:22:53,708 --> 00:22:57,504
is a report from our esteemed
friend Lord Rathbone...
267
00:22:57,587 --> 00:23:02,550
who recently returned from
a diplomatic mission to China.
268
00:23:13,394 --> 00:23:15,438
Fellow Lords...
269
00:23:15,522 --> 00:23:19,359
l'm afraid l bring disturbing
news from the Orient.
270
00:23:20,068 --> 00:23:22,195
The opium wars
have ravaged the land.
271
00:23:22,278 --> 00:23:24,697
The emperor's enemies
are organizing.
272
00:23:24,739 --> 00:23:27,367
The most vicious
are the Boxers.
273
00:23:27,408 --> 00:23:31,412
A godless band of rebels
who murder without discretion.
274
00:23:32,914 --> 00:23:35,208
China is not well.
275
00:23:36,876 --> 00:23:40,922
l have brought back an envoy
who should give us some insight
276
00:23:41,005 --> 00:23:44,551
into the inscrutable mind
of the Chinese.
277
00:23:48,096 --> 00:23:50,473
ls he mad?
278
00:23:50,557 --> 00:23:53,476
Given to Her Majesty
Queen Victoria by the emperor
279
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,397
in recognition of her
50 glorious years on the throne.
280
00:23:59,190 --> 00:24:00,859
Outrageousness!
281
00:24:02,235 --> 00:24:03,945
Long live the queen.
282
00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:29,637
Jack the Ripper
strikes again!
283
00:24:29,679 --> 00:24:32,432
Extra! Extra!
Read all about it.
284
00:24:32,473 --> 00:24:34,142
Howdy, partner.
285
00:24:35,101 --> 00:24:37,228
The English are not
very friendly.
286
00:24:37,270 --> 00:24:39,772
They're just sore losers.
287
00:24:39,856 --> 00:24:41,316
What did they lose?
288
00:24:41,399 --> 00:24:44,819
A little thing called
the American Revolution, Chon.
289
00:24:44,903 --> 00:24:45,862
Never heard of it.
290
00:24:45,945 --> 00:24:47,280
l'll give you the highlights.
291
00:24:47,363 --> 00:24:49,282
They came over
with about a million men.
292
00:24:49,324 --> 00:24:51,326
We had a bunch of farmers
with pitchforks
293
00:24:51,367 --> 00:24:53,453
and beat 'em like a drum.
294
00:24:56,915 --> 00:24:58,750
Hey! l'm walking here!
295
00:24:58,833 --> 00:25:02,170
You're driving on the wrong side
of the road!
296
00:25:02,253 --> 00:25:05,965
Bunch of amateurs.
These people don't get it.
297
00:25:06,007 --> 00:25:07,800
Hello, ladies.
298
00:25:11,554 --> 00:25:12,639
Look at you.
299
00:25:12,722 --> 00:25:14,974
What? l'm not supposed to
notice a pretty lady?
300
00:25:15,058 --> 00:25:17,519
l thought you wanted to
settle down and have a family.
301
00:25:17,602 --> 00:25:20,897
l do, Chon.
l just hope l can.
302
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:22,023
Why not?
303
00:25:22,106 --> 00:25:25,693
Sometimes l worry that
all the damn horseback riding
304
00:25:25,777 --> 00:25:27,070
l did out in the West,
305
00:25:27,153 --> 00:25:31,157
bouncing up and down on the
hard saddles might have made it
306
00:25:31,199 --> 00:25:35,578
so my salmon don't swim upstream
the way they're supposed to.
307
00:25:35,662 --> 00:25:36,704
What?
308
00:25:36,788 --> 00:25:39,958
l might be shooting blanks.
309
00:25:39,999 --> 00:25:41,042
Oh.
310
00:25:41,125 --> 00:25:43,253
Don't say anything.
311
00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:47,340
Roy, it's okay.
312
00:25:47,423 --> 00:25:49,968
Some people are not meant
to have a family.
313
00:25:50,051 --> 00:25:52,887
l've always had such a special
connection with children.
314
00:25:52,929 --> 00:25:54,222
The little ankle biters.
315
00:25:54,305 --> 00:25:56,391
Hey, watch it,
you little punk!
316
00:25:56,474 --> 00:25:58,309
Pardon me, guv.
317
00:26:02,146 --> 00:26:04,065
You gents lost your way?
318
00:26:04,148 --> 00:26:06,609
Yeah. We're looking
for my sister.
319
00:26:06,693 --> 00:26:09,445
She's staying
at 32 Oxford Street.
320
00:26:09,529 --> 00:26:12,657
l know it well, guv.
Me old man used to live there.
321
00:26:12,740 --> 00:26:15,743
Can you show us the way?
322
00:26:15,827 --> 00:26:19,831
Well, memory's
a little dodgy.
323
00:26:19,914 --> 00:26:22,333
But l'm sure for a bob
l could get you there.
324
00:26:22,417 --> 00:26:25,128
What do you take us for?
Okies from Muskogee?
325
00:26:25,211 --> 00:26:27,255
Go sell your bullshit
someplace else.
326
00:26:27,338 --> 00:26:29,299
We're not buying.
327
00:26:29,382 --> 00:26:31,009
Thanks for the tip, guv.
328
00:26:31,092 --> 00:26:33,386
Hey! l stole that watch
from my uncle!
329
00:26:33,428 --> 00:26:34,721
What?
330
00:26:55,033 --> 00:26:56,075
This way.
331
00:27:00,079 --> 00:27:02,248
Come here,
you little rubbish eater!
332
00:27:02,332 --> 00:27:05,460
What did l tell you about
poaching on our turf, Charlie?
333
00:27:05,543 --> 00:27:07,670
l'm on the straight
and narrow. Honest.
334
00:27:12,634 --> 00:27:15,011
What's this, then?
335
00:27:15,094 --> 00:27:16,471
After l'm through
beating you...
336
00:27:16,554 --> 00:27:19,474
you're gonna wish you never
ran away from the workhouse!
337
00:27:19,557 --> 00:27:21,142
Leave the boy alone.
338
00:27:22,143 --> 00:27:25,104
Bloody tourists!
Get your noses out of it!
339
00:27:25,146 --> 00:27:26,940
Do whatever you want
to the kid...
340
00:27:27,023 --> 00:27:28,733
but that's my watch.
341
00:27:28,816 --> 00:27:33,238
Well, there's a load of us
and only two of you.
342
00:27:33,321 --> 00:27:35,114
So piss off!
343
00:27:35,198 --> 00:27:37,450
Easy, fellas.
You've lost one war this way.
344
00:27:37,534 --> 00:27:39,452
Don't make
the same mistake twice.
345
00:27:55,468 --> 00:27:57,470
Come on!
After him!
346
00:28:03,852 --> 00:28:05,019
Hey!
347
00:28:10,483 --> 00:28:11,818
There he is!
Get him!
348
00:28:11,860 --> 00:28:14,487
We've got him now.
Move in, lads.
349
00:28:37,886 --> 00:28:40,763
Boys, boys, wait, wait!
350
00:28:50,106 --> 00:28:51,482
Come on! Get him!
351
00:28:51,566 --> 00:28:52,567
Up the bloody ladder!
352
00:29:23,848 --> 00:29:26,601
Hey! Hey!
353
00:29:27,435 --> 00:29:29,020
Watch it!
354
00:29:36,319 --> 00:29:37,403
Hey.
355
00:30:04,138 --> 00:30:05,557
Come here, you!
356
00:30:37,547 --> 00:30:38,715
Cool.
357
00:30:58,526 --> 00:30:59,736
Move it!
358
00:31:38,983 --> 00:31:40,193
You!
359
00:31:52,747 --> 00:31:55,083
Did you see that?
360
00:31:55,166 --> 00:31:56,793
lt's okay.
361
00:31:56,918 --> 00:31:57,961
Okay?!
362
00:31:58,002 --> 00:31:59,712
l call that one
my kung pao chicken.
363
00:31:59,754 --> 00:32:01,506
l clotheslined the sucker.
364
00:32:03,550 --> 00:32:04,676
Come on, get back!
365
00:32:04,717 --> 00:32:06,970
Clear away!
366
00:32:07,053 --> 00:32:08,763
Make way!
367
00:32:20,608 --> 00:32:24,904
l think you gentlemen should
accompany me back to the yard.
368
00:32:24,946 --> 00:32:27,574
This isn't a yard!
lt's a jail!
369
00:32:27,615 --> 00:32:28,950
Roy, calm down.
370
00:32:30,910 --> 00:32:33,538
Unbelievable.
371
00:32:35,290 --> 00:32:36,583
Wait!
Someone's coming!
372
00:32:36,666 --> 00:32:38,710
-Let me handle this.
-l'm gonna handle it.
373
00:32:38,793 --> 00:32:40,295
The English aren't like you.
374
00:32:40,336 --> 00:32:42,547
They don't get all emotional.
Touchy-feely.
375
00:32:42,589 --> 00:32:43,715
Do me a favor.
376
00:32:43,798 --> 00:32:46,259
Park the kung fu.
Let me do the talking.
377
00:32:47,552 --> 00:32:51,347
Come here.
Let me give you a hug.
378
00:32:53,933 --> 00:32:57,437
l've been after that
Fleet Street gang for two years.
379
00:32:57,478 --> 00:32:59,439
Then you two come along
and bring them down
380
00:32:59,522 --> 00:33:01,399
in a single afternoon.
Brilliant!
381
00:33:01,482 --> 00:33:03,067
Now, um...
382
00:33:03,151 --> 00:33:04,485
Oh, that's my watch!
383
00:33:04,569 --> 00:33:06,237
Yes. A street urchin
turned it in.
384
00:33:06,321 --> 00:33:08,406
The little punk better not
have scuffed it.
385
00:33:08,448 --> 00:33:11,492
-l hope your luck picks up.
-What do you mean?
386
00:33:11,576 --> 00:33:14,579
l deduced from your watch
that you'd hit a rough patch.
387
00:33:14,662 --> 00:33:16,331
He has.
How do you know?
388
00:33:16,414 --> 00:33:18,958
lt's an investigative technique
l've developed.
389
00:33:19,042 --> 00:33:22,295
l can deduce intimate details
about an individual
390
00:33:22,378 --> 00:33:25,882
through a close scrutiny
of their personal effects.
391
00:33:25,965 --> 00:33:27,800
What else can you tell?
392
00:33:29,552 --> 00:33:33,723
The owner of this watch
is a bad gambler
393
00:33:33,806 --> 00:33:35,225
and a lousy shot.
394
00:33:35,308 --> 00:33:37,977
Although he's cheated death
several times...
395
00:33:38,061 --> 00:33:41,606
he spends most of his life
wandering in a rather pathetic
396
00:33:41,648 --> 00:33:44,526
and futile search
for purpose and respect.
397
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:46,736
Oh, yes.
398
00:33:46,819 --> 00:33:49,781
He has a penchant
for loose women.
399
00:33:51,199 --> 00:33:53,701
Wow. That's amazing.
400
00:33:53,785 --> 00:33:55,787
l'm sure it's a very popular
party trick
401
00:33:55,828 --> 00:33:57,664
at birthdays
for small children...
402
00:33:57,747 --> 00:34:00,667
but it doesn't quite play
with adults.
403
00:34:00,708 --> 00:34:02,210
Just to set
the record straight.
404
00:34:02,293 --> 00:34:04,963
Roy O'Bannon is not attracted
to loose women.
405
00:34:05,046 --> 00:34:06,756
Loose women
are attracted to me.
406
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,967
-You're Roy O'Bannon?
-Yeah.
407
00:34:09,008 --> 00:34:11,010
The famous Western folk hero?
408
00:34:11,052 --> 00:34:12,220
Have you heard of me?
409
00:34:12,303 --> 00:34:13,638
Have l heard of you?
410
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:17,058
l've only read "Roy O'Bannon
vs. The Mummy" five times.
411
00:34:17,141 --> 00:34:18,351
lt's fascinating.
412
00:34:18,434 --> 00:34:20,186
l want you to meet
the Shanghai Kid.
413
00:34:20,228 --> 00:34:21,271
Oh, yes.
414
00:34:21,354 --> 00:34:23,940
The faithful Chinese sidekick.
415
00:34:24,023 --> 00:34:27,527
l'm not a sidekick.
Those stories are all lies.
416
00:34:27,610 --> 00:34:29,529
Come on, don't be bitter.
417
00:34:29,571 --> 00:34:32,073
l can't help what
Sage McCallister writes.
418
00:34:32,156 --> 00:34:35,910
lf there's anything l can do,
l'm at your service.
419
00:34:35,994 --> 00:34:38,955
We're looking for my sister.
She's staying at this address.
420
00:34:39,038 --> 00:34:41,958
Can you take us there?
421
00:34:42,041 --> 00:34:43,960
Oh, dear.
422
00:34:44,043 --> 00:34:46,504
l think you'd better come
with me.
423
00:35:12,906 --> 00:35:14,407
Lin.
424
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:16,993
Wang.
425
00:35:22,749 --> 00:35:26,753
lf you don't mind,
l'll just wait outside.
426
00:35:28,671 --> 00:35:30,632
lntroduce me.
427
00:35:30,715 --> 00:35:33,843
Oh. This is Lin,
my baby sister.
428
00:35:36,179 --> 00:35:38,264
Roy O'Bannon.
429
00:35:39,724 --> 00:35:41,059
Pleasure.
430
00:35:41,935 --> 00:35:44,521
You never told me your sister
was such a...
431
00:35:44,562 --> 00:35:46,606
beautiful lotus blossom.
432
00:35:53,446 --> 00:35:54,113
What'd she say?
433
00:35:55,657 --> 00:35:56,449
No, no, no.
434
00:35:56,533 --> 00:35:58,618
No talking about me
in your native tongue.
435
00:35:59,619 --> 00:36:01,037
Why are you in jail?
436
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,956
l followed the man
who murdered Father.
437
00:36:02,997 --> 00:36:04,249
And?
438
00:36:04,290 --> 00:36:05,834
l found out where he live.
439
00:36:05,917 --> 00:36:08,795
l snuck inside his house
and tried to kill him.
440
00:36:08,837 --> 00:36:10,880
lt's my duty to find
Father's killer.
441
00:36:10,964 --> 00:36:13,633
No, it is mine!
l'm the one who promised Father.
442
00:36:13,675 --> 00:36:15,051
But l'm his only son.
443
00:36:15,134 --> 00:36:17,428
When you abandoned us
for America...
444
00:36:17,554 --> 00:36:19,222
Father said he had no son.
445
00:36:19,305 --> 00:36:20,682
What?
446
00:36:22,642 --> 00:36:24,519
Whoa. Time out.
447
00:36:24,602 --> 00:36:26,229
Time out. Come here.
448
00:36:26,271 --> 00:36:27,814
The detective's a fan.
449
00:36:27,856 --> 00:36:29,774
Why don't l play
the celebrity card?
450
00:36:29,858 --> 00:36:31,442
We'll get her out that way.
451
00:36:31,568 --> 00:36:33,820
-Okay?
-Okay.
452
00:36:36,990 --> 00:36:39,617
Don't worry.
l'll get you out.
453
00:36:44,497 --> 00:36:45,999
Everything's gonna be okay.
454
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:49,335
ln fact, l'm gonna give you
my good-luck playing cards.
455
00:36:51,171 --> 00:36:53,548
Just ignore the naked ladies.
456
00:36:54,257 --> 00:36:55,300
Wang!
457
00:36:56,134 --> 00:36:59,262
Have you opened Father's box?
458
00:36:59,387 --> 00:37:00,972
Not yet.
459
00:37:08,062 --> 00:37:10,607
She tried to assassinate
Lord Rathbone
460
00:37:10,732 --> 00:37:13,151
whilst he was taking
afternoon tea.
461
00:37:13,193 --> 00:37:15,278
He's 10th in line
to the throne...
462
00:37:15,403 --> 00:37:17,322
Her Majesty's
favorite cousin...
463
00:37:17,363 --> 00:37:19,574
and the finest swordsman
in England.
464
00:37:22,493 --> 00:37:24,621
So, of course,
the press had a field day.
465
00:37:24,746 --> 00:37:27,874
The story actually knocked Jack
the Ripper off the front page.
466
00:37:27,957 --> 00:37:29,751
Artie, Lin is not a killer.
467
00:37:29,834 --> 00:37:32,670
She's just a really,
really, really hot...
468
00:37:32,754 --> 00:37:34,589
confused Chinese girl.
469
00:37:34,714 --> 00:37:37,967
Maybe if l agreed to sign
a few autographs
470
00:37:38,051 --> 00:37:40,094
and talk to some of my fans
here in England...
471
00:37:40,178 --> 00:37:43,681
do some type of charity event,
can we get her out that way?
472
00:37:43,765 --> 00:37:45,725
l'm afraid
that's out of the question.
473
00:37:45,767 --> 00:37:47,227
What will happen
to my sister?
474
00:37:47,268 --> 00:37:50,021
She'll go to trial,
probably be locked away
475
00:37:50,104 --> 00:37:52,815
in an institution
for the criminally insane.
476
00:37:52,941 --> 00:37:55,652
The tabloids have already
dubbed her "Loony Lin."
477
00:37:55,735 --> 00:37:57,737
l thought it was rather catchy.
478
00:37:59,489 --> 00:38:01,533
At the time.
479
00:38:18,633 --> 00:38:20,426
Do you have any notion
what would happen
480
00:38:20,426 --> 00:38:21,845
if we were to be seen
together?
481
00:38:21,928 --> 00:38:25,765
Since your return, l have yet to
lay eyes on the lmperial Seal.
482
00:38:25,807 --> 00:38:29,102
l'm hosting a jubilee ball
at my country estate tomorrow.
483
00:38:29,143 --> 00:38:31,521
Be at the stables
at midnight.
484
00:38:32,146 --> 00:38:35,775
As requested,
a token of my esteem.
485
00:38:43,074 --> 00:38:45,451
This is where you get out.
486
00:38:48,246 --> 00:38:50,248
l hope there will be
more trust between us
487
00:38:50,331 --> 00:38:53,418
when l'm emperor
and you are the new king.
488
00:39:01,968 --> 00:39:04,971
Wow. Buckingham Palace.
Look at that, Chon.
489
00:39:05,054 --> 00:39:07,223
That's where the queen lives.
490
00:39:08,308 --> 00:39:10,476
Hey, look at this guy.
491
00:39:10,476 --> 00:39:13,313
He's a royal guard.
He has a very important job.
492
00:39:13,354 --> 00:39:14,606
l used to be just like him.
493
00:39:14,647 --> 00:39:16,316
No, they're nothing like you.
494
00:39:16,357 --> 00:39:17,984
They're a tourist attraction.
495
00:39:18,026 --> 00:39:20,028
You can make faces at them,
insult them...
496
00:39:20,111 --> 00:39:21,362
and they can't move a muscle.
497
00:39:21,404 --> 00:39:22,947
-Here. Watch this.
-Roy...
498
00:39:22,989 --> 00:39:24,324
No, it's okay.
499
00:39:24,365 --> 00:39:26,868
Hey, buddy,
your shoes are untied.
500
00:39:29,871 --> 00:39:33,708
That is the biggest damn beaver
l have ever seen.
501
00:39:34,459 --> 00:39:35,793
Roy, stop it.
502
00:39:35,877 --> 00:39:36,794
The queen!
503
00:39:36,878 --> 00:39:37,837
Look! The queen!
504
00:39:37,879 --> 00:39:40,632
She's mooning us!
505
00:39:40,715 --> 00:39:42,258
He almost went for that.
506
00:39:42,383 --> 00:39:44,594
My friend and l just came over
from America.
507
00:39:44,677 --> 00:39:47,347
You might have heard of it.
We run your jerkwater country.
508
00:39:47,430 --> 00:39:50,600
Come on, you gonna take that
from a colonial?
509
00:39:50,642 --> 00:39:51,684
Roy, stop it.
510
00:39:51,809 --> 00:39:54,896
l bet you are one hell
of a damn poker player.
511
00:39:54,979 --> 00:39:56,147
No hard feelings.
512
00:40:01,027 --> 00:40:02,612
They can't do that!
513
00:40:02,654 --> 00:40:04,030
You're not allowed to do that!
514
00:40:04,072 --> 00:40:05,156
Shouldn't have touched him.
515
00:40:05,198 --> 00:40:07,242
You scram, you little punk.
516
00:40:07,283 --> 00:40:08,868
l've got friends
at Scotland Yard.
517
00:40:08,868 --> 00:40:10,370
l'll give you up
in a heartbeat.
518
00:40:10,411 --> 00:40:11,913
You get your watch back?
519
00:40:11,996 --> 00:40:14,415
Don't worry about my watch.
Go on.
520
00:40:14,499 --> 00:40:15,625
lt's a knockoff.
521
00:40:15,667 --> 00:40:17,168
What are you talking about?
522
00:40:17,210 --> 00:40:20,004
My uncle stole this watch
from President Lincoln.
523
00:40:20,088 --> 00:40:22,048
lt's a priceless
family heirloom.
524
00:40:22,090 --> 00:40:24,133
Not according
to the pawnbroker.
525
00:40:24,217 --> 00:40:25,552
You should not steal.
526
00:40:25,677 --> 00:40:27,887
lf l don't steal,
l don't eat.
527
00:40:27,929 --> 00:40:31,975
Who showed you how to do
all that kicking and punching?
528
00:40:32,058 --> 00:40:33,893
My father.
529
00:40:33,893 --> 00:40:37,021
Have you ever heard of those?
They're parents.
530
00:40:37,063 --> 00:40:38,898
You don't 'cause you're
a little orphan.
531
00:40:38,982 --> 00:40:42,527
Now, go on.
You're cramping our style.
532
00:40:44,821 --> 00:40:47,073
Oh, this country blows.
533
00:40:47,115 --> 00:40:50,201
You need a place to stay?
534
00:40:53,872 --> 00:40:55,790
Come on in
and warm your dogs.
535
00:40:55,832 --> 00:40:58,668
You can
get into a lot of trouble
536
00:40:58,793 --> 00:41:00,587
breaking into
a place like this.
537
00:41:00,628 --> 00:41:02,380
That being said, well done.
538
00:41:07,635 --> 00:41:09,554
You just ate
the last chocolate.
539
00:41:09,637 --> 00:41:10,763
Course l did.
540
00:41:10,805 --> 00:41:12,849
You gotta look out
for number one.
541
00:41:13,933 --> 00:41:15,560
l could really
get used to this.
542
00:41:15,602 --> 00:41:18,021
Living the life
of a country gentleman.
543
00:41:18,104 --> 00:41:19,981
Maybe doing
a little painting.
544
00:41:20,064 --> 00:41:22,859
Let Lin play in the garden
with the children.
545
00:41:22,901 --> 00:41:25,361
Vera, Chuck, and Dave.
546
00:41:25,445 --> 00:41:26,863
Who's Lin?
547
00:41:26,946 --> 00:41:30,575
Lin's the most beautiful woman
l've ever met.
548
00:41:30,658 --> 00:41:33,828
She's gonna be the savior
of the house of O'Bannon.
549
00:41:33,870 --> 00:41:36,706
Chon, check out the threads.
550
00:41:36,789 --> 00:41:39,626
All l'm missing is the
loyal hound curled at my feet.
551
00:41:39,751 --> 00:41:42,170
We are wasting time.
We must find Rathbone.
552
00:41:42,212 --> 00:41:43,546
What do you think
l've been doing?
553
00:41:43,630 --> 00:41:45,590
Sitting here drinking
expensive hooch?
554
00:41:45,673 --> 00:41:46,674
Refill.
555
00:41:46,758 --> 00:41:49,010
l've been working on a plan.
556
00:41:49,135 --> 00:41:53,348
Now -- Whoa.
Don't slosh the brandy.
557
00:41:53,431 --> 00:41:55,767
-lt messes with the bouquet.
-Sod off.
558
00:41:55,850 --> 00:41:57,810
l'm trying to teach you
a skill set.
559
00:41:57,977 --> 00:41:59,437
Help get you off the street.
560
00:41:59,521 --> 00:42:01,481
-Bartenders make big bucks.
-Roy!
561
00:42:01,606 --> 00:42:03,316
The plan.
562
00:42:03,358 --> 00:42:05,109
Thank you, Chon.
563
00:42:05,151 --> 00:42:07,320
lf we find the seal...
564
00:42:07,403 --> 00:42:10,448
we can prove Rathbone
killed your dad.
565
00:42:12,659 --> 00:42:15,328
lt's the old Hail Mary play.
566
00:42:15,370 --> 00:42:17,622
l also have a version
where we dig a tunnel.
567
00:42:19,832 --> 00:42:20,750
Hey!
568
00:42:20,792 --> 00:42:23,002
Bloody catapult.
Jesus Christ!
569
00:42:23,086 --> 00:42:25,338
-You don't need a catapult!
-Who asked you?
570
00:42:25,380 --> 00:42:27,507
You don't interrupt grown-ups
when they're talking.
571
00:42:27,549 --> 00:42:30,468
"Lord Nelson Rathbone requests
the pleasure of your company
572
00:42:30,510 --> 00:42:31,636
at the jubilee ball
573
00:42:31,678 --> 00:42:35,515
in honor of Her Majesty's
50th year on the throne."
574
00:42:35,557 --> 00:42:36,975
Sounds good.
575
00:42:37,058 --> 00:42:39,018
lt doesn't address security.
576
00:42:39,060 --> 00:42:40,770
They're not gonna let
Chon and l
577
00:42:40,854 --> 00:42:42,272
waltz into the castle.
578
00:42:42,355 --> 00:42:44,774
All you need is
a proper disguise.
579
00:42:46,568 --> 00:42:49,195
l do like a good disguise.
580
00:43:13,595 --> 00:43:15,096
l look like a fool.
581
00:43:15,180 --> 00:43:18,057
What?! You're a maharaja.
That's lndian royalty.
582
00:43:18,099 --> 00:43:21,352
-But l'm Chinese.
-lt's the same thing.
583
00:43:21,436 --> 00:43:23,521
Bob your head a little bit.
584
00:43:23,605 --> 00:43:26,316
Gives you more
of a lndia-royalty flavor.
585
00:43:26,399 --> 00:43:29,360
That's good.
Good show, good show.
586
00:43:29,444 --> 00:43:30,612
Good show, good show.
587
00:43:30,653 --> 00:43:33,198
-Cheerio, cheerio.
-Cheerio, cheerio.
588
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,033
What do we do
when we see Rathbone?
589
00:43:35,116 --> 00:43:36,034
Kill him.
590
00:43:36,117 --> 00:43:38,036
No, okay? No!
591
00:43:38,077 --> 00:43:40,914
You're gonna be civil,
'cause we don't have the seal.
592
00:43:40,955 --> 00:43:45,877
No seal. No Lin.
No family honor. Okay?
593
00:43:45,919 --> 00:43:48,338
Be cool.
Okay, we look great.
594
00:43:48,379 --> 00:43:49,881
Let's enjoy this party.
595
00:43:52,967 --> 00:43:55,136
-Whoa. What are you doing?
-l'm going inside.
596
00:43:55,178 --> 00:43:57,847
-The place is haunted.
-You're the harness man.
597
00:43:57,931 --> 00:43:59,307
You get back at the carriage.
598
00:43:59,307 --> 00:44:01,518
You wait in case we need
to make a quick getaway.
599
00:44:01,601 --> 00:44:02,602
Go on.
Man your post.
600
00:44:02,685 --> 00:44:04,229
You don't always get
what you want.
601
00:44:04,312 --> 00:44:06,773
Why are you so mean
to that boy?
602
00:44:06,814 --> 00:44:09,484
l see a lot of myself
in that kid.
603
00:44:09,567 --> 00:44:11,778
lt's kind of freaking me out.
Come on.
604
00:44:22,247 --> 00:44:23,957
Your name, please, sir.
605
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,170
So l can announce you.
606
00:44:37,637 --> 00:44:41,057
Sherlock... Holmes.
607
00:44:41,182 --> 00:44:43,017
Sherlock Holmes.
608
00:44:44,602 --> 00:44:47,647
Which province do you represent,
Your Highness?
609
00:44:50,567 --> 00:44:53,278
Nevada.
610
00:45:13,047 --> 00:45:16,968
May l present
Major General Sherlock Holmes
611
00:45:17,010 --> 00:45:21,055
and His Highness,
the maharaja of Nevada.
612
00:45:34,152 --> 00:45:37,113
How are the security
arrangements?
613
00:45:37,197 --> 00:45:40,366
Oh, everything seems to be
going swimmingly, my Lord.
614
00:45:40,408 --> 00:45:41,618
And if l may say so...
615
00:45:41,701 --> 00:45:44,329
it is an honor to guard
Your Lordship tonight.
616
00:45:44,370 --> 00:45:46,831
l speak for all of us
at Scotland Yard
617
00:45:46,915 --> 00:45:49,876
when l say that no matter how
far you are from the throne...
618
00:45:49,918 --> 00:45:52,545
you'll always be number one
in our hearts.
619
00:45:58,426 --> 00:46:00,220
Okay, here's the plan.
620
00:46:00,303 --> 00:46:01,804
We're gonna get
a little chow.
621
00:46:01,888 --> 00:46:03,598
Then we're gonna
sneak out of here.
622
00:46:03,681 --> 00:46:06,100
-Start looking for that seal.
-Okay.
623
00:46:06,184 --> 00:46:08,311
-Spotted Dick, sir?
-What?
624
00:46:08,394 --> 00:46:10,104
Spotted Dick.
625
00:46:12,482 --> 00:46:13,733
Can you believe this guy?
626
00:46:13,775 --> 00:46:14,859
l'm trying to get
something to eat.
627
00:46:14,943 --> 00:46:16,819
He's asking me
if l got the clap.
628
00:46:16,903 --> 00:46:19,822
l think
he's offering you food.
629
00:46:20,907 --> 00:46:22,867
Oh. Spotted Dick.
630
00:46:22,951 --> 00:46:24,410
Oh, no.
l think l'll pass.
631
00:46:24,494 --> 00:46:25,912
l'm not really
a dessert man.
632
00:46:25,995 --> 00:46:29,290
Perhaps my friend might like
some Spotted Dick.
633
00:46:31,334 --> 00:46:33,294
l might try
one of these sausages.
634
00:46:33,336 --> 00:46:35,088
A little smoky Joe.
635
00:46:37,465 --> 00:46:40,051
This is good!
636
00:46:40,134 --> 00:46:42,220
l thought the food here
was supposed to suck.
637
00:46:42,303 --> 00:46:44,472
The haggis is fresh
from Scotland, sir.
638
00:46:44,556 --> 00:46:47,267
lt's made from
the finest sheeps' bladders.
639
00:46:51,771 --> 00:46:54,482
l'm gonna get some whiskey
and wash my mouth out.
640
00:46:59,821 --> 00:47:01,489
You should try the quail.
641
00:47:03,950 --> 00:47:06,035
l shot them myself
this morning.
642
00:47:06,786 --> 00:47:09,122
How do you do, Your Lordship?
643
00:47:09,163 --> 00:47:11,916
Very well, thank you.
644
00:47:11,958 --> 00:47:15,295
l'm not acquainted
with the Nevada province.
645
00:47:18,464 --> 00:47:21,050
But l haven't been to lndia
since '81.
646
00:47:21,134 --> 00:47:23,553
l spent most of my time
in the Orient.
647
00:47:23,636 --> 00:47:26,222
l hear you've just returned
from China.
648
00:47:26,306 --> 00:47:29,434
You are well-informed,
maharaja.
649
00:47:29,517 --> 00:47:31,728
lt is my dream
that the Chinese people
650
00:47:31,811 --> 00:47:35,148
will follow lndia's example and
one day embrace British rule.
651
00:47:35,190 --> 00:47:36,774
The Chinese are very proud.
652
00:47:36,858 --> 00:47:40,278
They place family and honor
above all else.
653
00:47:40,361 --> 00:47:43,823
Well, l'm sure
we can break them of that.
654
00:47:47,994 --> 00:47:50,413
lf you'll excuse me,
l have a matter to attend to.
655
00:47:50,496 --> 00:47:52,832
Until we meet again.
656
00:47:58,087 --> 00:48:01,007
Patience.
l'm proud of you, Chon.
657
00:48:01,049 --> 00:48:03,551
We must find the seal.
658
00:48:06,054 --> 00:48:07,305
What do you see?
659
00:48:07,388 --> 00:48:09,349
Shh, shh, shh!
660
00:48:12,727 --> 00:48:16,272
He just pulled a fancy
dragon key out of his desk.
661
00:48:16,356 --> 00:48:17,815
That was my father's!
662
00:48:17,857 --> 00:48:19,359
l must avenge his honor.
663
00:48:19,442 --> 00:48:21,861
Hey, slow down, tiger.
Slow down.
664
00:48:21,903 --> 00:48:24,405
Quit going all Chinese on me.
665
00:48:28,284 --> 00:48:29,369
Where is he?
666
00:48:29,452 --> 00:48:32,163
Damn it. Remember
your puzzle box. Patience.
667
00:48:33,373 --> 00:48:35,583
Okay, there are no windows.
668
00:48:35,667 --> 00:48:37,669
We just came in
through the only doorway.
669
00:48:37,752 --> 00:48:39,420
That leaves one explanation.
670
00:48:39,504 --> 00:48:41,256
Remember in "Roy O'Bannon
vs. The Mummy"
671
00:48:41,339 --> 00:48:42,507
how the zombie king got away
672
00:48:42,549 --> 00:48:44,384
when l chased him
into the pharaoh's tomb?
673
00:48:44,467 --> 00:48:47,178
There's a secret passageway
behind the sphinx.
674
00:48:47,262 --> 00:48:50,640
There's gotta be a lever
or a button over here.
675
00:48:50,723 --> 00:48:52,725
Help me lift some stuff up.
676
00:49:06,656 --> 00:49:07,657
Roy!
677
00:49:07,740 --> 00:49:10,118
The painting.
lt's looking at me.
678
00:49:10,159 --> 00:49:11,411
-Look!
-Oh, yeah.
679
00:49:11,494 --> 00:49:13,580
Looks like it's looking at me.
That's great.
680
00:49:13,663 --> 00:49:15,832
No, real eyes.
Moving!
681
00:49:15,915 --> 00:49:18,251
That kid got to you,
didn't he?
682
00:49:18,334 --> 00:49:20,628
Unbelievable!
We're not in a haunted house.
683
00:49:20,670 --> 00:49:22,755
That's a technique
that an artist uses.
684
00:49:22,797 --> 00:49:25,800
"Ubiquitous gaze" or "pursuant
eyes" is the technical term.
685
00:49:25,884 --> 00:49:28,887
lt's unnerving, though.
l'll give you that.
686
00:49:32,974 --> 00:49:36,936
Roy.
Now, those eyes. Look!
687
00:49:36,978 --> 00:49:38,438
Whatever you say, Chon.
688
00:49:43,568 --> 00:49:46,362
Let's see what you got here,
Rathbone.
689
00:49:51,743 --> 00:49:52,952
Roy!
690
00:49:55,288 --> 00:49:58,291
What, Chon?
Are the statues moving now?
691
00:50:36,246 --> 00:50:37,038
Roy!
692
00:50:37,789 --> 00:50:42,001
l can't hear myself think
with you shouting at me.
693
00:50:43,169 --> 00:50:44,295
Chon?
694
00:50:46,339 --> 00:50:49,509
Chon? Chon?
695
00:50:50,844 --> 00:50:52,095
This is ridiculous.
696
00:50:52,178 --> 00:50:54,806
lf you want to act
like a child and play games...
697
00:50:54,848 --> 00:50:56,349
then find someone else...
698
00:50:56,391 --> 00:50:57,809
'cause l take
this stuff seriously.
699
00:50:57,892 --> 00:51:00,687
l'm here to work.
l'm on a mission.
700
00:51:02,564 --> 00:51:03,648
Chon?
701
00:51:05,358 --> 00:51:06,526
Okay, Chon.
702
00:51:06,609 --> 00:51:09,696
Okay, you little
Chinese otter.
703
00:51:09,737 --> 00:51:11,072
Let's play.
704
00:51:26,796 --> 00:51:27,922
Chon, demons!
705
00:51:46,816 --> 00:51:49,694
She's gonna fight
my battles for me.
706
00:51:49,777 --> 00:51:52,488
Come on.
Let's go.
707
00:51:53,615 --> 00:51:56,159
What? What are you doing?
708
00:51:56,242 --> 00:51:58,786
lt's kinky.
l like it.
709
00:52:05,752 --> 00:52:08,338
Wow! Look at this.
710
00:53:17,740 --> 00:53:20,243
Wait. There's something
different about this room.
711
00:53:33,548 --> 00:53:34,591
Hey.
712
00:54:03,953 --> 00:54:05,663
Let's go!
713
00:54:06,873 --> 00:54:08,750
-Wang!
-Chon, for God's sakes.
714
00:54:08,833 --> 00:54:11,044
-Now he shows up.
-l found it.
715
00:54:11,085 --> 00:54:13,004
Wait. Do you want to hear?
716
00:54:13,588 --> 00:54:15,548
The seal's gone.
717
00:54:49,457 --> 00:54:50,500
Lin.
718
00:54:52,210 --> 00:54:53,294
Roy!
719
00:54:54,128 --> 00:54:56,297
Are we gonna come back?
720
00:54:56,381 --> 00:54:58,132
Roy!
721
00:55:07,725 --> 00:55:10,270
Must you keep doing that?
722
00:55:10,311 --> 00:55:13,481
l was taught
not to be seen or heard.
723
00:55:14,983 --> 00:55:16,109
The seal.
724
00:55:16,150 --> 00:55:17,902
l am a man of my word.
725
00:55:21,489 --> 00:55:24,242
l remember watching
my brother play with this
726
00:55:24,325 --> 00:55:25,785
like a baby rattle.
727
00:55:27,662 --> 00:55:32,166
When l'd try to touch it,
the dowager empress beat me.
728
00:55:33,209 --> 00:55:35,253
No doubt
your deprived childhood
729
00:55:35,336 --> 00:55:37,589
made you into the man
you are today.
730
00:55:37,672 --> 00:55:39,799
Wu Chow.
731
00:55:39,841 --> 00:55:41,467
Wu who?
732
00:55:41,509 --> 00:55:43,803
He is the emperor's
bastard brother.
733
00:55:43,887 --> 00:55:46,347
He was banished
from the Forbidden City
734
00:55:46,389 --> 00:55:48,224
for trying to steal
the lmperial Seal.
735
00:55:48,308 --> 00:55:49,601
Our father caught him.
736
00:55:49,642 --> 00:55:52,645
He vowed to return to claim
the emperor's throne.
737
00:55:52,687 --> 00:55:55,440
This guy?
738
00:55:55,523 --> 00:55:58,026
l'll assume everything
has been arranged as discussed.
739
00:55:58,151 --> 00:56:01,029
You have nothing to worry about.
lt's all in place.
740
00:56:01,029 --> 00:56:04,157
That diamond is as big
as a damn monkey's paw.
741
00:56:04,199 --> 00:56:05,742
-Look at that.
-Roy.
742
00:56:05,825 --> 00:56:07,452
Don't even think about it.
743
00:56:07,535 --> 00:56:10,246
l'm just admiring
the craftsmanship, Chon.
744
00:56:10,330 --> 00:56:13,708
So for now,
our business is completed.
745
00:56:21,382 --> 00:56:22,675
Where's Lin?!
746
00:56:36,981 --> 00:56:38,024
Hey! Hey!
747
00:56:43,071 --> 00:56:44,489
Gotcha!
748
00:56:46,157 --> 00:56:48,576
Just looking out
for number one.
749
00:56:48,660 --> 00:56:49,494
No!
750
00:56:50,203 --> 00:56:51,704
The kid got the seal!
751
00:57:08,513 --> 00:57:09,848
Chon!
752
00:57:19,023 --> 00:57:20,191
lt's stuck.
753
00:57:29,701 --> 00:57:30,451
Lin!
754
00:57:42,797 --> 00:57:44,883
Go! You can do it!
755
00:57:44,966 --> 00:57:48,303
She's got it.
756
00:57:48,386 --> 00:57:49,429
She's got it!
757
00:57:49,512 --> 00:57:51,973
Roy! Come on!
758
00:57:52,015 --> 00:57:54,434
Chon, what in our history
together
759
00:57:54,517 --> 00:57:56,978
makes you think l'm capable
of something like that?
760
00:57:57,103 --> 00:57:58,646
-Roy!
-l can't do that!
761
00:57:58,688 --> 00:57:59,606
Hurry up!
762
00:57:59,647 --> 00:58:01,649
Wait.
763
00:58:01,733 --> 00:58:03,443
There's a better way.
764
00:58:13,953 --> 00:58:15,079
Slow down!
765
00:58:15,163 --> 00:58:16,581
l'm a bat out of hell!
766
00:58:16,623 --> 00:58:18,374
Yee-haw!
767
00:58:18,458 --> 00:58:19,792
Besides, l don't know
where the brake is.
768
00:58:19,876 --> 00:58:20,877
What?!
769
00:58:24,589 --> 00:58:26,424
Look out!
770
00:58:48,363 --> 00:58:49,989
So, what now, buddy?
771
00:58:50,031 --> 00:58:53,451
Relax, relax.
Smooth sailing from here.
772
00:59:02,710 --> 00:59:05,839
Yes, these are the men
who attacked me.
773
00:59:05,922 --> 00:59:10,176
l'm afraid the assailants have
temporarily eluded us, my Lord.
774
00:59:10,218 --> 00:59:12,178
Perhaps you could explain
to me
775
00:59:12,220 --> 00:59:15,306
how Loony Lin
managed to escape
776
00:59:15,390 --> 00:59:18,017
from the confines of
Scotland Yard under the watch
777
00:59:18,101 --> 00:59:22,564
of the most respected
police force in the world.
778
00:59:22,605 --> 00:59:25,733
Yes, of course.
lt's absolutely fascinating.
779
00:59:25,817 --> 00:59:27,902
She picked the lock
780
00:59:27,986 --> 00:59:31,364
using a deck of rather
risque playing cards.
781
00:59:31,447 --> 00:59:35,743
Then scaled the walls
with a mop, a fork...
782
00:59:35,785 --> 00:59:38,204
and various pilfered
undergarments.
783
00:59:38,288 --> 00:59:39,956
You've got to hand it
to the Chinese.
784
00:59:40,039 --> 00:59:42,625
They're awfully ingenious,
Lord, aren't they?
785
00:59:43,918 --> 00:59:46,337
Does your incompetence know
no bounds?!
786
01:00:15,825 --> 01:00:17,702
Where am l?
787
01:00:18,828 --> 01:00:21,080
Lin!
788
01:00:21,122 --> 01:00:23,291
l don't even know these women.
789
01:00:26,503 --> 01:00:30,256
Lin, what are you doing here?
790
01:00:30,340 --> 01:00:32,091
Oh, Lord.
791
01:00:32,133 --> 01:00:35,011
Do you want to try
the position on page 3 7?
792
01:00:40,058 --> 01:00:42,393
Come here, you little minx.
793
01:00:44,312 --> 01:00:46,231
What?
794
01:00:58,826 --> 01:01:00,787
-You okay?
-No, l'm not okay.
795
01:01:00,828 --> 01:01:03,206
l've just been violated
by a barnyard animal.
796
01:01:07,460 --> 01:01:10,922
Who would leave a pile of stones
in the middle of the field?
797
01:01:11,005 --> 01:01:14,050
l don't know, Chon.
These people are nuts.
798
01:01:15,677 --> 01:01:17,011
Come on.
799
01:01:20,473 --> 01:01:24,519
-Can l tell you something?
-What?
800
01:01:24,602 --> 01:01:26,938
This is a hell
of a damn adventure we're on.
801
01:01:27,021 --> 01:01:29,232
l'm having
an absolute ball with you.
802
01:01:31,734 --> 01:01:33,069
Me too.
803
01:01:37,866 --> 01:01:39,701
Here we go.
804
01:01:39,784 --> 01:01:41,619
Get your thumb out, maharaja.
805
01:01:41,703 --> 01:01:43,162
-Why?
-Get over here.
806
01:01:44,247 --> 01:01:45,957
Excuse me!
807
01:01:47,792 --> 01:01:49,210
-Lin!
-Lin!
808
01:01:57,302 --> 01:01:59,804
My shoulder's getting
a little tight.
809
01:02:00,972 --> 01:02:03,474
This is your first time
in England, isn't it?
810
01:02:04,475 --> 01:02:07,395
How do you know your way around?
lt's incredible.
811
01:02:07,478 --> 01:02:09,898
l always had a good sense
of direction.
812
01:02:09,981 --> 01:02:11,858
You can say that again.
813
01:02:11,900 --> 01:02:15,236
l wish we could say the same
about you-know-who.
814
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:17,030
l once sent him over
a mountain range.
815
01:02:17,071 --> 01:02:18,489
He was lost forever.
816
01:02:19,574 --> 01:02:22,202
One time, l sent him
over the Great Wall.
817
01:02:22,285 --> 01:02:26,039
-He was lost for three days.
-Three days?!
818
01:02:27,582 --> 01:02:30,418
Oh, gosh, we got a lot
in common.
819
01:02:30,502 --> 01:02:32,921
l've never met
anybody like you, Roy.
820
01:02:33,004 --> 01:02:34,839
-Really?
-Yeah.
821
01:02:35,757 --> 01:02:39,636
Hey, can l tell you something
without you getting offended?
822
01:02:39,719 --> 01:02:41,012
What?
823
01:02:41,095 --> 01:02:44,224
You have a great body.
824
01:02:44,265 --> 01:02:47,227
There. l said it.
lt's out in the open.
825
01:02:49,562 --> 01:02:52,148
-You must work out.
-Me?
826
01:02:52,232 --> 01:02:53,399
Excuse me.
827
01:02:55,443 --> 01:02:58,029
Chon, what are you doing?
828
01:02:58,112 --> 01:03:00,490
l don't like the backseat.
829
01:03:00,532 --> 01:03:03,868
Makes me sick. Dizzy.
830
01:03:10,291 --> 01:03:12,544
Whitechapel.
831
01:03:12,627 --> 01:03:15,046
This looks like
a nice enough neighborhood.
832
01:03:18,258 --> 01:03:20,802
-What is Puss 'n' Boots?
-lt's a boardinghouse.
833
01:03:20,885 --> 01:03:24,264
Some of the sailors on the ship
coming over recommended it.
834
01:03:28,601 --> 01:03:31,271
Come on. Come on!
835
01:03:39,487 --> 01:03:41,197
l won't let my sister
stay here.
836
01:03:41,281 --> 01:03:43,408
What are we supposed to do?
Check in to the Savoy?
837
01:03:43,491 --> 01:03:45,285
We'll get arrested
before we get to our room.
838
01:03:45,368 --> 01:03:47,036
l don't mind this place.
839
01:03:50,999 --> 01:03:54,878
See?
She's a little open-minded.
840
01:03:55,503 --> 01:03:57,422
l know this sounds crazy
'cause l just met her...
841
01:03:57,505 --> 01:04:00,300
but l think l'm falling for her.
842
01:04:00,341 --> 01:04:01,593
l think she's the one.
843
01:04:01,676 --> 01:04:03,386
Roy, she's my baby sister.
844
01:04:03,469 --> 01:04:05,513
l know she is.
Thank God!
845
01:04:05,597 --> 01:04:06,973
That's the only chance
l've got.
846
01:04:07,056 --> 01:04:09,017
l'm getting ready
to launch a little thing
847
01:04:09,100 --> 01:04:10,852
called
"Operation Sweep Her Off Her Feet."
848
01:04:10,935 --> 01:04:12,979
You're in a position
to talk me up.
849
01:04:13,062 --> 01:04:14,397
Can l count on you?
850
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:16,524
Please, buddy, l've never
asked you for anything.
851
01:04:16,608 --> 01:04:18,985
Sure, Roy.
l'll tell her the truth.
852
01:04:19,027 --> 01:04:20,403
Don't get hung up on the truth.
853
01:04:20,486 --> 01:04:23,031
Feel free to smooth out
your old pal's rough edges.
854
01:04:25,116 --> 01:04:27,202
l love you, buddy.
855
01:04:30,914 --> 01:04:33,625
Lin. Come.
856
01:04:38,379 --> 01:04:39,672
Sit.
857
01:05:05,406 --> 01:05:06,741
Hello, love.
858
01:05:06,783 --> 01:05:08,201
Fancy a tumble?
859
01:05:08,243 --> 01:05:11,454
Oh!
Where were you two days ago?
860
01:05:11,538 --> 01:05:13,706
l would have bedded you
in a second.
861
01:05:13,790 --> 01:05:15,416
Now you're looking
at a changed man.
862
01:05:15,500 --> 01:05:18,503
l'm sort of saving myself
for someone special.
863
01:05:18,586 --> 01:05:20,421
l'll give you a discount.
864
01:05:21,589 --> 01:05:26,010
That's the most romantic thing
any woman's ever said to me.
865
01:05:26,052 --> 01:05:28,263
You better go.
866
01:05:28,346 --> 01:05:30,473
You better go
before we lose control. Go!
867
01:05:30,557 --> 01:05:32,725
lf you change your mind...
868
01:05:32,767 --> 01:05:33,852
Roy!
869
01:05:42,277 --> 01:05:45,613
Our father would talk about
the right man for you.
870
01:05:45,697 --> 01:05:48,658
He must be strong,
courageous...
871
01:05:48,741 --> 01:05:51,286
and a good father.
872
01:05:51,369 --> 01:05:53,746
-Like Roy.
-We got her, Chon.
873
01:05:53,788 --> 01:05:55,582
Not like Roy.
874
01:05:55,623 --> 01:05:57,417
You don't know him like l do.
875
01:05:57,500 --> 01:06:00,378
He has many bad habits.
876
01:06:00,420 --> 01:06:01,588
Such as?
877
01:06:01,629 --> 01:06:05,425
He drinks, smokes,
and he gambles.
878
01:06:05,508 --> 01:06:07,093
Chon, where are you
going with this?
879
01:06:07,177 --> 01:06:09,095
He sleeps with women for money.
880
01:06:09,179 --> 01:06:10,430
What are you --
881
01:06:10,513 --> 01:06:14,434
Roy don't do that.
l can see inside him.
882
01:06:14,517 --> 01:06:15,935
He has a good heart.
883
01:06:15,977 --> 01:06:17,103
That's right.
884
01:06:17,145 --> 01:06:20,565
His salmon don't swim
upstream.
885
01:06:20,648 --> 01:06:21,941
He shoots blanks.
886
01:06:23,318 --> 01:06:25,778
Lin, he cannot be trusted.
887
01:06:25,820 --> 01:06:29,324
How could you say that?
You're his friend.
888
01:06:29,407 --> 01:06:31,868
Yeah, sort of.
889
01:06:31,951 --> 01:06:33,369
Roy is the type of a friend
890
01:06:33,453 --> 01:06:35,788
you'd never introduce
to your other friends
891
01:06:35,830 --> 01:06:37,624
or bring home to your family.
892
01:06:37,665 --> 01:06:40,418
He never speak the truth.
You know what l call him?
893
01:06:40,502 --> 01:06:43,338
Not Roy O'Bannon.
Roy O'Baloney.
894
01:06:44,923 --> 01:06:46,591
l don't care.
895
01:06:46,633 --> 01:06:48,760
Lin, l forbid it.
896
01:06:49,802 --> 01:06:51,804
You are not my father.
897
01:07:02,106 --> 01:07:04,692
Roy, there you are.
898
01:07:04,776 --> 01:07:07,320
-Hi.
-Mm-hmm.
899
01:07:07,362 --> 01:07:10,490
You need anything, buddy?
900
01:07:10,532 --> 01:07:13,660
A whole lot of
"leave me alone."
901
01:07:16,204 --> 01:07:17,539
What's wrong?
902
01:07:19,874 --> 01:07:20,834
Nothing.
903
01:07:20,875 --> 01:07:22,836
l woke up
on the wrong side of the bed.
904
01:07:22,877 --> 01:07:26,047
l feel a little pain in my back
like someone put a knife there.
905
01:07:26,130 --> 01:07:27,882
l'm okay.
906
01:07:27,966 --> 01:07:29,801
Don't worry about me.
907
01:07:39,102 --> 01:07:40,895
Roy!
908
01:07:47,026 --> 01:07:49,279
That actually reminds me
of a trick.
909
01:07:49,362 --> 01:07:51,322
You ever seen this one?!
910
01:07:51,406 --> 01:07:52,532
Or this one?!
911
01:07:53,575 --> 01:07:56,244
You think you're so cool
with your karate
912
01:07:56,327 --> 01:07:58,913
and your childlike reflexes.
913
01:08:01,416 --> 01:08:02,750
Roy, you okay?
914
01:08:03,418 --> 01:08:05,503
Look at you.
915
01:08:05,587 --> 01:08:08,506
Do you really call me
Roy Baloney?
916
01:08:11,759 --> 01:08:13,344
Roy, you don't understand.
917
01:08:13,428 --> 01:08:16,264
You just smashed
my puzzle box.
918
01:08:17,307 --> 01:08:19,392
l'll never figure out
my message.
919
01:08:19,475 --> 01:08:21,311
-Roy...
-Go.
920
01:08:23,354 --> 01:08:25,148
You're dead to me.
921
01:08:25,231 --> 01:08:27,609
l don't know a Chon Wang.
922
01:08:41,623 --> 01:08:42,624
What?
923
01:08:42,707 --> 01:08:44,918
Hi, Roy.
924
01:08:46,002 --> 01:08:47,754
Who loves you, baby?
925
01:08:47,837 --> 01:08:50,507
-Nice try, Chon.
-Roy...
926
01:08:50,590 --> 01:08:52,258
l'm sorry.
927
01:08:57,472 --> 01:09:00,308
You do that again,
and you're a dead man.
928
01:09:11,069 --> 01:09:12,153
Pillow fight!
929
01:09:39,848 --> 01:09:41,432
l am Roy Baloney!
930
01:09:41,516 --> 01:09:42,517
Yes!
931
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:43,601
l'm full of it!
932
01:09:43,643 --> 01:09:44,978
You are!
933
01:10:12,380 --> 01:10:14,007
Roy?
934
01:10:14,048 --> 01:10:17,677
-Roy?
935
01:10:19,846 --> 01:10:20,763
Lin!
936
01:10:25,727 --> 01:10:27,645
lt was his idea.
937
01:10:28,897 --> 01:10:30,231
-Chon!
-Clothes!
938
01:11:02,847 --> 01:11:04,516
Nice night for a walk.
939
01:11:13,274 --> 01:11:14,234
Lin!
940
01:11:14,317 --> 01:11:15,777
-Lin!
-There you are!
941
01:11:15,860 --> 01:11:16,861
What are you doing?
942
01:11:16,903 --> 01:11:19,572
Don't you know there's
a serial killer on the loose?
943
01:11:19,656 --> 01:11:21,407
Forget it.
944
01:11:29,374 --> 01:11:31,209
Who the hell are these guys?
945
01:11:31,251 --> 01:11:32,210
Boxers.
946
01:11:32,252 --> 01:11:33,753
What do they want with us?
947
01:11:33,795 --> 01:11:36,047
They're with me.
948
01:11:38,508 --> 01:11:41,886
l think we need to have
a little chat.
949
01:11:51,396 --> 01:11:53,523
Chon Wang --
950
01:11:53,606 --> 01:11:56,359
the man who can fight
an emperor.
951
01:11:56,442 --> 01:11:59,112
The emperor should never have
his burial knife.
952
01:11:59,195 --> 01:12:00,822
l see.
953
01:12:00,864 --> 01:12:03,324
You're still
my brother's lapdog.
954
01:12:03,408 --> 01:12:05,243
l'm here not for him.
955
01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:08,121
l'm here for my father.
956
01:12:08,204 --> 01:12:10,081
Of course you are.
957
01:12:13,209 --> 01:12:16,754
lt was my dagger
that plunged into his heart.
958
01:12:16,838 --> 01:12:18,840
lt's still crusted
with his blood.
959
01:12:23,678 --> 01:12:26,055
l know the boy has the seal.
960
01:12:26,139 --> 01:12:27,307
Where is he?
961
01:12:27,348 --> 01:12:28,433
We don't know.
962
01:12:28,474 --> 01:12:30,435
That's the truth --
we don't know.
963
01:12:30,518 --> 01:12:32,353
Mmm...
964
01:12:33,313 --> 01:12:35,773
What are you --
What are you doing?
965
01:12:39,694 --> 01:12:41,321
Stop! Put her down!
966
01:12:42,405 --> 01:12:43,948
Put her down!
Put her down!
967
01:12:44,032 --> 01:12:45,783
Or what, Mr. O'Bannon?
968
01:12:45,867 --> 01:12:48,203
Are you gonna kick my ass?
969
01:12:48,286 --> 01:12:51,497
l've read all about
your ridiculous exploits.
970
01:12:51,623 --> 01:12:53,041
l mean, just...
971
01:12:53,124 --> 01:12:57,378
how does it feel to kill
a mummy with your bare hands?
972
01:12:57,504 --> 01:12:59,672
Only a nation
of uneducated rednecks
973
01:12:59,672 --> 01:13:02,383
would be amused
by such cowboy drivel.
974
01:13:02,425 --> 01:13:04,511
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy.
975
01:13:04,552 --> 01:13:06,846
What's with
the personal attacks?
976
01:13:06,888 --> 01:13:08,598
You don't see me
making any comments
977
01:13:08,681 --> 01:13:12,060
about your pasty complexion
or your snotty accent
978
01:13:12,143 --> 01:13:15,146
or even your filthy,
smutty sex books.
979
01:13:15,230 --> 01:13:17,232
Yeah, l saw your book.
lt disgusted me.
980
01:13:19,859 --> 01:13:22,278
Oh, why is it always the head
with you people?!
981
01:13:23,947 --> 01:13:26,658
Hold it! Stop! Hold it!
982
01:13:26,741 --> 01:13:27,825
Just hold it!
983
01:13:27,909 --> 01:13:30,828
What are we doing here?
Guys, look at this.
984
01:13:30,912 --> 01:13:33,540
We're acting like animals...
over what?
985
01:13:33,623 --> 01:13:34,832
Some seal?
986
01:13:34,916 --> 01:13:37,502
The seal represents
imperial power.
987
01:13:38,253 --> 01:13:40,964
l will use it to unite
the emperor's enemies
988
01:13:41,047 --> 01:13:44,008
and storm the Forbidden City.
989
01:13:44,092 --> 01:13:45,510
What's in it for you?
990
01:13:45,593 --> 01:13:47,762
You're looking
at the future king of England.
991
01:13:47,846 --> 01:13:49,764
You're, like, 20th in line
to the throne.
992
01:13:49,806 --> 01:13:51,099
10th.
993
01:13:51,182 --> 01:13:53,309
But my friend
is about to change all that
994
01:13:53,393 --> 01:13:56,771
by simple...
process of elimination.
995
01:14:00,942 --> 01:14:02,986
lt's called a machine gun.
996
01:14:03,069 --> 01:14:06,364
The first of its kind --
it fires 200 rounds a minute.
997
01:14:06,447 --> 01:14:08,700
Testament to British ingenuity.
998
01:14:08,783 --> 01:14:11,619
Oh, so you steal the seal,
999
01:14:11,703 --> 01:14:13,788
and then you knock off
nine royals?
1000
01:14:15,540 --> 01:14:18,084
You got the short end
of that stick, my friend.
1001
01:14:22,130 --> 01:14:23,673
Dump them in the river.
1002
01:14:25,550 --> 01:14:26,968
Where are you taking her?
1003
01:14:27,051 --> 01:14:28,928
To make history.
1004
01:14:28,970 --> 01:14:31,181
l can already see
the headlines --
1005
01:14:31,264 --> 01:14:35,435
"Nation mourns as Loony Lin
massacres royal family."
1006
01:14:49,324 --> 01:14:53,745
l need your assurance
that you will find the seal.
1007
01:14:53,828 --> 01:14:55,455
Don't concern yourself.
1008
01:14:55,496 --> 01:14:57,540
My men are scouring the city.
1009
01:14:57,582 --> 01:15:02,670
You better pray they find it...
or our agreement is over,
1010
01:15:02,712 --> 01:15:07,091
and you will never get
the crown.
1011
01:15:13,765 --> 01:15:16,601
Chon, l got a confession
to make.
1012
01:15:16,643 --> 01:15:18,853
You are in love
with my sister.
1013
01:15:18,937 --> 01:15:20,939
Well, that, but...
1014
01:15:21,022 --> 01:15:23,691
l didn't lose all the money
on the zeppelins.
1015
01:15:23,775 --> 01:15:25,193
No?
1016
01:15:25,276 --> 01:15:29,572
Nah. l blew most of it
on the Roy O'Bannon novels.
1017
01:15:29,656 --> 01:15:31,074
l wrote them.
1018
01:15:31,199 --> 01:15:32,784
No, Sage McCallister
wrote them.
1019
01:15:32,867 --> 01:15:36,037
That's what l'm saying, buddy.
l'm Sage McCallister.
1020
01:15:41,042 --> 01:15:42,502
You wrote those lies?!
1021
01:15:42,627 --> 01:15:44,504
l've always had
low self-esteem.
1022
01:15:44,546 --> 01:15:46,047
How many books did you print?
1023
01:15:46,130 --> 01:15:48,299
l self-published
probably a million copies.
1024
01:15:49,342 --> 01:15:51,344
We were actually second
to the Bible that year.
1025
01:15:51,386 --> 01:15:52,262
Oh, you --
1026
01:15:52,345 --> 01:15:54,472
l guess l'm just about
the worst friend
1027
01:15:54,514 --> 01:15:56,683
a guy could ask for.
1028
01:15:58,059 --> 01:16:01,396
No, you're a good friend.
1029
01:16:01,479 --> 01:16:02,564
Thank you.
1030
01:16:02,647 --> 01:16:06,025
lf you really love Lin,
l won't stand in the way.
1031
01:16:06,109 --> 01:16:07,193
Really?
1032
01:16:07,277 --> 01:16:11,489
But if you break her heart...
l'll break your legs.
1033
01:16:11,573 --> 01:16:12,657
That's fair.
1034
01:16:13,950 --> 01:16:17,453
Well,
friends to the end, Chon...
1035
01:16:17,537 --> 01:16:19,205
and this is the end.
1036
01:16:23,918 --> 01:16:25,295
Chon, you got a plan?
1037
01:16:25,420 --> 01:16:26,880
You wouldn't happen to have
a plan, would you?
1038
01:16:26,963 --> 01:16:28,006
Yes.
1039
01:16:28,089 --> 01:16:29,883
-Anything l can do?
-No.
1040
01:16:29,924 --> 01:16:32,760
Good. l'll let you do
the heavy lifting, then.
1041
01:16:47,692 --> 01:16:49,611
Chon, hurry.
1042
01:16:55,158 --> 01:16:56,117
Chon!
1043
01:16:56,201 --> 01:16:57,243
Chon! Chon, hurry!
1044
01:16:57,368 --> 01:16:58,494
Hurry!
1045
01:16:58,536 --> 01:17:00,246
Hurry! Chon, hurry!
1046
01:17:00,330 --> 01:17:01,331
Roy!
1047
01:17:05,293 --> 01:17:06,669
Coming!
1048
01:17:08,463 --> 01:17:09,380
Chon!
1049
01:17:13,092 --> 01:17:14,594
The water's so dirty!
1050
01:17:14,677 --> 01:17:16,804
No! No! lt's dirty! No!
1051
01:17:44,541 --> 01:17:48,002
Just go ahead and drown me.
l don't care anymore.
1052
01:17:51,714 --> 01:17:52,215
Roy!
1053
01:18:52,025 --> 01:18:53,943
You look ridiculous.
1054
01:18:55,653 --> 01:18:57,155
l think we look good.
1055
01:18:59,490 --> 01:19:02,535
l really must protest
this intrusion.
1056
01:19:02,619 --> 01:19:05,747
Every bobby in London is out
scouring the streets
1057
01:19:05,788 --> 01:19:06,748
for you two.
1058
01:19:06,789 --> 01:19:08,249
Have you been drinking?
1059
01:19:08,291 --> 01:19:11,669
l always drink when my
employment's been terminated.
1060
01:19:11,753 --> 01:19:12,795
They fired you?
1061
01:19:12,879 --> 01:19:14,797
Lord Rathbone saw to that.
1062
01:19:14,881 --> 01:19:15,882
l'm sorry.
1063
01:19:16,925 --> 01:19:18,384
lt's of no consequence.
1064
01:19:18,510 --> 01:19:21,888
l never wanted to be
an inspector in the first place.
1065
01:19:21,930 --> 01:19:24,390
lt was my father's idea.
1066
01:19:24,432 --> 01:19:26,601
l always wanted to be
a writer.
1067
01:19:27,727 --> 01:19:28,811
Yeah.
1068
01:19:28,937 --> 01:19:30,688
Artie, we need your help.
1069
01:19:30,772 --> 01:19:32,315
Rathbone has taken Lin.
1070
01:19:32,398 --> 01:19:33,858
He's gonna kill
the royal family
1071
01:19:33,900 --> 01:19:35,360
and he's gonna assume
the throne.
1072
01:19:35,443 --> 01:19:37,904
Do you have any evidence
1073
01:19:37,946 --> 01:19:40,990
to support these
preposterous allegations?
1074
01:19:41,074 --> 01:19:43,743
We have this.
lt's the boy's.
1075
01:19:43,785 --> 01:19:46,538
Use your technique.
Tell us where he is.
1076
01:19:48,581 --> 01:19:51,000
Paraffin wax --
most interesting.
1077
01:19:51,084 --> 01:19:52,502
He's at a church.
1078
01:19:52,585 --> 01:19:54,379
The little punk's hiding
in a church.
1079
01:19:54,462 --> 01:19:55,922
No, no, no.
1080
01:19:56,047 --> 01:19:57,924
lt's not candle wax.
1081
01:19:58,007 --> 01:19:59,175
l have it.
1082
01:20:02,971 --> 01:20:04,764
-Don't worry. You'll get it.
-What are you doing?
1083
01:20:04,806 --> 01:20:06,766
-He's picking the lock.
-Well, hurry up!
1084
01:20:06,808 --> 01:20:10,103
Chon, please! Please.
lt's a very meticulous process.
1085
01:20:10,144 --> 01:20:13,565
Let Artie do his job.
lt's almost an art form.
1086
01:20:13,606 --> 01:20:15,733
lt takes the precision
of a surgeon.
1087
01:20:15,859 --> 01:20:18,111
You have to be so precise.
1088
01:20:18,152 --> 01:20:20,488
Maybe if we jam
another one in there.
1089
01:20:24,951 --> 01:20:26,494
That works, too.
1090
01:20:26,578 --> 01:20:28,788
Lacks a certain finesse.
1091
01:20:32,292 --> 01:20:34,460
All right, all right.
Let's split up.
1092
01:21:41,152 --> 01:21:42,362
What the...
1093
01:21:46,533 --> 01:21:48,451
l am gonna break your neck.
1094
01:21:48,493 --> 01:21:49,369
Come here.
1095
01:22:30,451 --> 01:22:31,411
Looky here.
1096
01:22:31,452 --> 01:22:33,580
-Come on, where is it?
-What?
1097
01:22:33,663 --> 01:22:35,290
You know
what l'm talking about.
1098
01:22:35,331 --> 01:22:36,791
Don't give me that "what."
1099
01:22:37,458 --> 01:22:38,793
What do we got here?
1100
01:22:38,877 --> 01:22:40,545
Oh, yes.
1101
01:22:41,629 --> 01:22:43,965
You don't mind
if l take this back, do you?
1102
01:22:44,048 --> 01:22:45,592
Go on.
Get out of here.
1103
01:22:45,675 --> 01:22:46,593
Go!
1104
01:22:46,676 --> 01:22:47,635
Roy?
1105
01:22:47,719 --> 01:22:48,887
l got it.
1106
01:22:52,015 --> 01:22:53,683
Give me the seal.
1107
01:22:54,642 --> 01:22:56,811
Give me the seal!
1108
01:23:09,365 --> 01:23:11,743
All right, spread out!
1109
01:23:11,784 --> 01:23:12,911
Through there!
1110
01:23:14,245 --> 01:23:15,663
Let's go.
1111
01:23:24,839 --> 01:23:26,841
The gig's up.
1112
01:23:36,142 --> 01:23:38,228
So, what are we gonna do?
1113
01:23:41,022 --> 01:23:42,315
Come on, think!
1114
01:23:42,357 --> 01:23:44,651
l'm not going
to an English prison.
1115
01:23:44,692 --> 01:23:47,570
With my feathery blond hair
and Chon's athletic build,
1116
01:23:47,654 --> 01:23:49,572
they'll try to make us
the belle of the ball.
1117
01:23:49,656 --> 01:23:51,699
Forget it.
l'm not going back.
1118
01:23:53,034 --> 01:23:56,246
Well, at least we'll get
a good view of the fireworks
1119
01:23:56,329 --> 01:23:57,580
from Scotland Yard.
1120
01:23:57,664 --> 01:23:59,541
-Fireworks?
-Yeah.
1121
01:23:59,582 --> 01:24:02,001
At midnight, they're launching
this huge display
1122
01:24:02,126 --> 01:24:03,878
from a flotilla of barges
on the Thames.
1123
01:24:03,962 --> 01:24:06,881
lt's the official kickoff
to the Queen's Jubilee.
1124
01:24:06,923 --> 01:24:08,842
ls the royal family
gonna be there?
1125
01:24:09,551 --> 01:24:12,303
They're gonna be viewing
the spectacle from a balcony
1126
01:24:12,345 --> 01:24:13,888
overlooking the river.
1127
01:24:13,972 --> 01:24:15,932
He's got a machine gun
on the barge.
1128
01:24:17,809 --> 01:24:18,810
Yes.
1129
01:24:27,819 --> 01:24:29,779
You gents lost your way?
1130
01:24:29,863 --> 01:24:31,406
Kid, tell me
you got a way out.
1131
01:24:44,502 --> 01:24:46,629
Nice move, kid.
1132
01:24:46,713 --> 01:24:48,089
So why did you come back?
1133
01:24:48,173 --> 01:24:50,758
Why did you give up the seal?
1134
01:24:53,469 --> 01:24:55,054
'Cause l'm a fool.
1135
01:24:56,848 --> 01:24:58,474
Guess l'm a fool, too.
1136
01:24:58,600 --> 01:25:00,685
Well, put her there, fool.
1137
01:25:01,895 --> 01:25:03,062
l never got your name.
1138
01:25:03,146 --> 01:25:05,273
Name's Chaplin...
1139
01:25:05,356 --> 01:25:07,400
Charlie Chaplin.
1140
01:26:07,877 --> 01:26:09,379
-Excuse me.
-Excuse me.
1141
01:26:09,462 --> 01:26:10,547
Excuse me, please!
1142
01:26:10,630 --> 01:26:12,465
-Excuse me.
-Excuse me.
1143
01:26:20,807 --> 01:26:22,350
You warn the royal family.
1144
01:26:22,433 --> 01:26:23,434
l'll save Lin.
1145
01:26:23,518 --> 01:26:25,395
How on earth are you gonna
do that?
1146
01:27:52,815 --> 01:27:54,067
You okay?
1147
01:28:00,281 --> 01:28:01,574
l just saved you!
1148
01:28:01,616 --> 01:28:02,742
You were late!
1149
01:28:02,742 --> 01:28:03,785
What?!
1150
01:28:08,498 --> 01:28:09,666
Nelson?
1151
01:28:22,762 --> 01:28:24,556
Why are you hiding yourself
back there?
1152
01:28:24,639 --> 01:28:26,808
l shouldn't like to impede
your view, Your Highness.
1153
01:28:26,933 --> 01:28:28,768
Nonsense.
You arranged all this.
1154
01:28:28,810 --> 01:28:30,728
You should have
a front-row view.
1155
01:28:30,812 --> 01:28:34,315
l regret that, uh,
respectfully l must decline.
1156
01:28:34,399 --> 01:28:37,068
l need to keep a good eye
on proceedings.
1157
01:28:41,823 --> 01:28:44,200
Nelson,
you've outdone yourself.
1158
01:28:44,284 --> 01:28:46,744
Wait till you see the finale.
1159
01:28:51,124 --> 01:28:52,709
Hey!
1160
01:28:55,128 --> 01:28:56,796
Hey!
1161
01:30:08,159 --> 01:30:09,410
This is hopeless.
1162
01:30:09,494 --> 01:30:11,412
We're not gonna get past
the guards.
1163
01:30:11,496 --> 01:30:13,081
Well, not with that attitude
we won't.
1164
01:30:13,122 --> 01:30:15,083
Come on, Artie.
There's got to be a way.
1165
01:30:15,124 --> 01:30:17,126
There's always --
1166
01:30:30,515 --> 01:30:31,850
Lin!
1167
01:31:07,844 --> 01:31:10,096
Yee-haw! Yeah!
1168
01:31:10,180 --> 01:31:11,890
Yee-haw!
1169
01:31:11,973 --> 01:31:13,349
Yee-haw!
1170
01:31:15,476 --> 01:31:17,061
We got to jump it!
1171
01:32:08,154 --> 01:32:09,864
Wu Chow!
1172
01:32:26,840 --> 01:32:28,758
Hold it right there,
Rathboner.
1173
01:32:31,594 --> 01:32:33,096
l'm guessing
by your hasty retreat
1174
01:32:33,179 --> 01:32:35,598
that you're still
20th in line for the throne.
1175
01:32:35,682 --> 01:32:36,891
10th.
1176
01:32:36,975 --> 01:32:39,310
lnspector Doyle,
arrest this man.
1177
01:32:43,022 --> 01:32:44,023
He's got a gun!
1178
01:32:46,943 --> 01:32:47,944
Come on!
1179
01:32:50,196 --> 01:32:51,281
-Oh!
-You okay?
1180
01:32:51,364 --> 01:32:52,615
What happened?
1181
01:32:52,699 --> 01:32:55,076
Rathbone nailed Artie
with a little sissy gun.
1182
01:32:55,159 --> 01:32:57,453
l'll look after him.
You two go.
1183
01:32:57,579 --> 01:32:59,289
Go!
1184
01:33:06,713 --> 01:33:08,715
For Father.
1185
01:33:08,798 --> 01:33:10,717
For Father.
1186
01:33:10,758 --> 01:33:12,510
For Old Man Wang.
1187
01:33:16,806 --> 01:33:19,809
Oh, my lucky playing cards.
1188
01:33:27,901 --> 01:33:30,069
Be careful.
1189
01:33:30,111 --> 01:33:32,947
Tell Rathbone to be careful.
1190
01:33:33,031 --> 01:33:34,991
Roy, let's go.
1191
01:33:41,831 --> 01:33:43,958
You're gonna need
a bigger gun!
1192
01:34:01,893 --> 01:34:03,269
You see him?
1193
01:34:03,311 --> 01:34:04,729
No.
1194
01:34:04,812 --> 01:34:06,689
Show your face, Rathbone!
1195
01:34:06,773 --> 01:34:08,191
l'm gonna tear this guy apart.
1196
01:34:08,274 --> 01:34:10,652
Roy, you go this way.
l'll go that way.
1197
01:34:10,735 --> 01:34:13,404
Split up? l don't know
if that's a good idea.
1198
01:34:13,488 --> 01:34:14,614
lt's okay.
1199
01:34:23,998 --> 01:34:25,834
He's not up here.
1200
01:34:27,502 --> 01:34:29,128
Roy, keep going.
1201
01:34:32,841 --> 01:34:34,801
Aw, come on, Roy.
1202
01:34:47,814 --> 01:34:50,108
Hey, uh, Rathbone...
1203
01:34:50,191 --> 01:34:53,444
l was just thinking
of a title for my new book...
1204
01:34:53,528 --> 01:34:57,198
"Roy O'Bannon
vs. Little Lord Sissy."
1205
01:34:57,323 --> 01:35:00,910
But what about "Roy O'Bannon vs.
The Man Who Would Be Queen"?
1206
01:35:04,289 --> 01:35:05,540
No sign of him, Chon.
1207
01:35:05,623 --> 01:35:07,792
The coast is clear up here.
1208
01:35:13,506 --> 01:35:14,966
Roy! Look out!
1209
01:35:17,552 --> 01:35:18,636
Roy!
1210
01:35:18,720 --> 01:35:19,971
Oops.
1211
01:35:24,058 --> 01:35:25,393
Come on up.
1212
01:35:25,476 --> 01:35:27,604
l'll show you
how your father died.
1213
01:36:07,769 --> 01:36:09,854
Lord, help me.
1214
01:36:09,938 --> 01:36:12,524
Just let me know you're there.
Love me. Hate me.
1215
01:36:12,607 --> 01:36:14,901
But let me know
you're up there!
1216
01:36:14,943 --> 01:36:17,237
Hey, l can see our hotel
from here.
1217
01:36:31,292 --> 01:36:33,086
Come along.
1218
01:36:33,127 --> 01:36:34,879
l'm waiting.
1219
01:36:34,963 --> 01:36:38,174
Come on, Roy. Okay.
1220
01:36:38,258 --> 01:36:40,343
Roy O'Bannon
will not go quietly.
1221
01:36:40,426 --> 01:36:41,761
You hear that, England?!
1222
01:36:41,803 --> 01:36:43,596
Throw whatever
you want at me --
1223
01:36:43,638 --> 01:36:46,599
your terrible weather,
your perverted killers,
1224
01:36:46,641 --> 01:36:48,643
your Spotted Dick!
1225
01:37:25,513 --> 01:37:27,098
Roy, you're about to die.
1226
01:37:27,182 --> 01:37:29,642
You're on the minute hand
of a clock.
1227
01:37:29,684 --> 01:37:33,229
My life is flashing
before my eyes.
1228
01:37:33,313 --> 01:37:36,274
Wait a minute.
l don't remember her.
1229
01:37:51,497 --> 01:37:52,874
One more.
1230
01:38:08,097 --> 01:38:09,265
One more.
1231
01:38:38,419 --> 01:38:40,421
How disappointing.
1232
01:38:43,132 --> 01:38:44,634
One more.
1233
01:38:56,479 --> 01:38:58,857
You killed my friend.
1234
01:39:04,904 --> 01:39:06,447
You killed my father!
1235
01:39:26,217 --> 01:39:28,303
Roy!
1236
01:39:28,386 --> 01:39:30,805
l thought you were dead!
Oh!
1237
01:39:30,889 --> 01:39:33,391
You think
some tea-drinking psycho
1238
01:39:33,433 --> 01:39:35,435
can take out Roy O'Bannon?
1239
01:39:48,114 --> 01:39:50,116
Easy there, cowboy.
1240
01:40:12,472 --> 01:40:14,015
You got any ideas?
1241
01:40:19,062 --> 01:40:21,189
-We jump!
-Jump?!
1242
01:40:22,732 --> 01:40:24,108
You mean fall?!
1243
01:40:24,192 --> 01:40:25,944
Aim for the flag!
1244
01:40:25,985 --> 01:40:27,612
Aw, shit.
1245
01:40:28,905 --> 01:40:30,615
l got to tell you something.
1246
01:40:30,698 --> 01:40:31,783
What?
1247
01:40:31,824 --> 01:40:34,744
You're the best sidekick
l could ever ask for.
1248
01:40:34,827 --> 01:40:37,997
Thank you, Roy.
l feel the same about you.
1249
01:40:39,332 --> 01:40:40,583
On three.
1250
01:40:40,667 --> 01:40:41,793
One...
1251
01:40:41,876 --> 01:40:43,253
Two...
1252
01:40:43,336 --> 01:40:44,045
-Three!
-Three!
1253
01:41:10,989 --> 01:41:12,407
Roy. Roy!
1254
01:41:15,994 --> 01:41:17,495
Howdy.
1255
01:41:21,624 --> 01:41:24,252
ln recognition
of outstanding bravery,
1256
01:41:24,335 --> 01:41:27,505
l dub you Sir Chon Wang.
1257
01:41:33,011 --> 01:41:34,929
For uncommon valor,
1258
01:41:35,013 --> 01:41:38,433
l dub you Sir Roy O'Bannon.
1259
01:41:43,855 --> 01:41:47,609
And for steadfast dedication
to justice,
1260
01:41:47,692 --> 01:41:50,904
l dub you
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
1261
01:41:56,201 --> 01:41:57,994
Arise.
1262
01:42:12,800 --> 01:42:15,136
Who loves you, baby?
1263
01:42:31,069 --> 01:42:33,238
Madam.
1264
01:42:35,782 --> 01:42:38,701
Artie, l bet Scotland Yard's
dying to get you back now.
1265
01:42:38,785 --> 01:42:40,954
My official
crime-fighting days are over.
1266
01:42:41,037 --> 01:42:42,163
The queen has asked me
1267
01:42:42,247 --> 01:42:44,541
to accompany the lmperial Seal
back to China.
1268
01:42:44,624 --> 01:42:46,042
What a week.
Unbelievable.
1269
01:42:46,125 --> 01:42:48,044
She couldn't have picked
a better man, right, Chon?
1270
01:42:48,127 --> 01:42:49,170
Yeah.
1271
01:42:49,254 --> 01:42:52,257
And the voyage is gonna give me
time to work on my new novel.
1272
01:42:52,340 --> 01:42:54,551
lt features a new kind
of detective,
1273
01:42:54,634 --> 01:42:57,595
and he's gonna solve crimes
using deductive reasoning.
1274
01:42:57,679 --> 01:42:59,264
Give me a name.
What's his name?
1275
01:42:59,305 --> 01:43:00,807
Actually, Roy,
l was rather hoping
1276
01:43:00,890 --> 01:43:03,560
to call him Sherlock Holmes,
if that's all right with you.
1277
01:43:05,562 --> 01:43:07,647
l'd be insulted
if you didn't use it.
1278
01:43:13,903 --> 01:43:15,822
-Ta.
-See you, Artie.
1279
01:43:17,824 --> 01:43:20,159
That was very nice
of you, Roy.
1280
01:43:20,201 --> 01:43:22,495
l would've kept the name
if l thought it was any good.
1281
01:43:22,579 --> 01:43:24,163
lt's a horrible name
for a detective --
1282
01:43:24,247 --> 01:43:26,416
Sherlock Holmes. Holmes?
1283
01:43:28,042 --> 01:43:29,836
Will you stop playing with that?
l'm gonna smash it.
1284
01:43:29,919 --> 01:43:31,171
l just want to see it
for a second.
1285
01:43:31,212 --> 01:43:33,256
-Just let me see it.
-No, you're gonna break it.
1286
01:43:34,924 --> 01:43:37,343
lt's just a rock
with some gibberish on it.
1287
01:43:37,427 --> 01:43:38,928
That's Chinese.
1288
01:43:39,804 --> 01:43:42,849
"Family is forever, my son.
1289
01:43:42,932 --> 01:43:45,768
l'm proud
you cast your own stone."
1290
01:43:48,188 --> 01:43:49,731
That's a good message.
1291
01:43:56,738 --> 01:43:59,949
l'd like to cast
my own stone, Chon.
1292
01:44:06,664 --> 01:44:08,583
-Hi.
-Hi.
1293
01:44:13,713 --> 01:44:16,883
l told you -- the house
of O'Bannon will prevail.
1294
01:44:22,764 --> 01:44:24,933
Chon, l got a business
proposition for you.
1295
01:44:25,600 --> 01:44:26,893
No more zeppelins.
1296
01:44:26,935 --> 01:44:28,728
No, no, this is much better
than zeppelins --
1297
01:44:28,811 --> 01:44:30,647
a new thing they're starting
out in California
1298
01:44:30,730 --> 01:44:32,148
called moving pictures.
1299
01:44:32,232 --> 01:44:33,233
Pass.
1300
01:44:33,274 --> 01:44:34,859
Hold it. Hold it.
Hear me out.
1301
01:44:34,943 --> 01:44:37,278
l really think these movies
could play to your strength.
1302
01:44:37,362 --> 01:44:38,279
There's no sound,
1303
01:44:38,363 --> 01:44:40,448
so we don't have to worry
about the language problem.
1304
01:44:40,532 --> 01:44:44,285
And l think the kung fu stuff
could be huge.
1305
01:44:44,369 --> 01:44:46,538
People are dying
for a good action picture.
1306
01:44:46,621 --> 01:44:48,206
What do you think?
1307
01:44:48,289 --> 01:44:51,209
Chon Wang, movie star?
1308
01:44:51,292 --> 01:44:52,710
lt could work.
1309
01:44:52,752 --> 01:44:56,047
l feel bad about ditching
that Chaplin kid,
1310
01:44:56,130 --> 01:44:58,466
but we're gonna be running
and gunning in Hollywood,
1311
01:44:58,591 --> 01:45:01,010
and he'd just cramp our style.
1312
01:45:01,052 --> 01:45:03,221
lt's such a tough town.
1313
01:45:19,279 --> 01:45:21,698
Bloody tourists!
1314
01:45:21,865 --> 01:45:23,283
Action!
1315
01:45:40,425 --> 01:45:41,759
You have to say "cut."
1316
01:45:43,094 --> 01:45:45,180
You just keep looking!
1317
01:45:52,478 --> 01:45:55,064
Come here, you little minx.
1318
01:45:55,148 --> 01:45:56,357
Cut.
1319
01:45:56,441 --> 01:45:57,859
That was good.
1320
01:45:57,984 --> 01:45:59,611
That was a good one, huh?
1321
01:46:01,029 --> 01:46:04,616
Maybe on this one
l should lick you...you think?
1322
01:46:04,699 --> 01:46:07,785
Like, after you lick me --
that could be kind of good.
1323
01:46:07,869 --> 01:46:09,662
And, Jackie...
1324
01:46:09,704 --> 01:46:10,830
Jackie?
1325
01:46:10,914 --> 01:46:12,790
Thank you. Hi, Owen.
1326
01:46:12,832 --> 01:46:14,000
Hello. How are you?
1327
01:46:14,042 --> 01:46:16,503
Okay, and l'm not
Roy O'Bannon.
1328
01:46:16,544 --> 01:46:17,670
Who are you?
1329
01:46:19,380 --> 01:46:21,132
Damn it, Chon,
l think she's the one.
1330
01:46:21,216 --> 01:46:23,843
l know it's crazy.
We just met, but she's the one.
1331
01:46:23,885 --> 01:46:26,721
No, Roy,
she's my babysitter.
1332
01:46:28,890 --> 01:46:30,475
Your babys--
1333
01:46:30,558 --> 01:46:32,143
What?
1334
01:46:32,227 --> 01:46:33,686
Baby what?
1335
01:46:33,728 --> 01:46:34,896
Baby sister.
1336
01:46:34,979 --> 01:46:36,523
Baby sister?
1337
01:46:36,564 --> 01:46:38,858
Not babysitter.
Baby sister.
1338
01:46:51,538 --> 01:46:52,664
You okay?
1339
01:46:54,374 --> 01:46:55,333
Action!
1340
01:46:58,253 --> 01:46:59,796
What happened?
1341
01:46:59,879 --> 01:47:02,507
Roy is the type of a friend
you never introduce
1342
01:47:02,590 --> 01:47:05,301
to your other friends
or bring into your family.
1343
01:47:05,385 --> 01:47:08,972
He's -- Look at his eyes.
They're brown -- full of shit.
1344
01:47:09,055 --> 01:47:10,807
Always...
1345
01:47:10,890 --> 01:47:12,809
Just bullshit all the time.
1346
01:47:12,892 --> 01:47:14,435
Yeah, have you ever heard
of those?
1347
01:47:14,561 --> 01:47:16,980
They're parents.
We have parents that love us.
1348
01:47:17,063 --> 01:47:19,482
You don't,
'cause you're a little orphan.
1349
01:47:21,401 --> 01:47:24,487
You don't --
We've got par-- Yeah, parents.
1350
01:47:24,571 --> 01:47:26,990
Have you ever heard of those?
We've got parents that love us.
1351
01:47:27,073 --> 01:47:29,826
But you don't,
'cause you're a little orphan.
1352
01:47:31,077 --> 01:47:32,954
Oh, go on.
1353
01:47:33,913 --> 01:47:36,374
So mean.
1354
01:47:36,416 --> 01:47:39,669
Chon Wang, movie star?
1355
01:47:39,752 --> 01:47:41,004
lt could work.
1356
01:47:41,087 --> 01:47:43,840
lt could work.
You could do your own stunts.
1357
01:47:43,923 --> 01:47:45,675
What? My own stunts?
1358
01:47:51,764 --> 01:47:53,433
Whoa! Whoa!
1359
01:47:54,434 --> 01:47:58,188
Stay here and be a good horsey
for the new sheriff.
1360
01:48:00,440 --> 01:48:02,192
That hurt.
1361
01:48:18,875 --> 01:48:21,044
You're supposed to catch me!
1362
01:48:21,127 --> 01:48:22,253
Roy, catch.
1363
01:48:29,552 --> 01:48:31,721
-Jesus.
-That's my fault.
1364
01:48:31,804 --> 01:48:33,181
Wait a second.
1365
01:48:33,264 --> 01:48:35,683
This nut is killing
your street women?
1366
01:48:39,771 --> 01:48:41,856
Who did that?
1367
01:48:41,940 --> 01:48:42,941
Jackie Chan.
1368
01:48:42,982 --> 01:48:43,983
Me?
1369
01:48:44,067 --> 01:48:45,318
That's right.
1370
01:48:46,569 --> 01:48:48,738
-That was the...
-First time.
1371
01:48:48,821 --> 01:48:50,740
-The best take.
-l'm sorry.
1372
01:48:50,823 --> 01:48:52,116
Hurry up!
1373
01:48:52,200 --> 01:48:53,826
Are you crazy?!
l can't do that!
1374
01:48:53,910 --> 01:48:56,371
This isn't Chinatown!
l can't sail through the air!
1375
01:48:56,412 --> 01:48:58,373
-l'm not gonna break my neck!
-Roy!
1376
01:48:58,456 --> 01:48:59,707
What in our history together
1377
01:48:59,749 --> 01:49:02,293
makes you think l'm capable
of something like that?
1378
01:49:02,335 --> 01:49:03,294
lt's getting bigger!
1379
01:49:03,336 --> 01:49:04,462
There's got to be
a better way.
1380
01:49:04,504 --> 01:49:05,338
Roy!
1381
01:49:06,506 --> 01:49:07,882
Roy!
95858
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