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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
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This place is going
to smell classy all week.
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00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,666
To Homer...
The Wall Street genius!
5
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,881
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
6
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,011
Hey, Homer, how come you got
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00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,929
money to burn, or singe anyway?
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00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,848
Yeah Homer,
what's your secret investment?
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00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,433
Take a guess.
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00:00:58,516 --> 00:00:59,851
Pumpkins?
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00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:01,853
Yeah, that's right, Barney.
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00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,105
This year,
I invested in pumpkins.
13
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,608
They've been going up
the whole month of October,
14
00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:08,151
and I got a feeling
15
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,862
they're going to peak
right around January
16
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,989
and, bang,
that's when I'll cash in.
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00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,450
To Homer, and to Sergeant Pepper
18
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:18,703
who is growing out of
the middle of your back.
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Barn, you got
to unwrap the plastic
20
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:22,707
before you smoke these.
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00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,125
To Homer. Yeah!
22
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Way to go, Homer!
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Homer, you knuckle-beak,
I told you a hundred times
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you got to sell
your pumpkin futures
25
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before Halloween, before.
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00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,346
Alright, let's not panic.
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I'll make the money back
by selling one of my livers.
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I can get by with one.
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00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:42,644
How am I going
to tell Marge we're broke?
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I need a miracle.
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My house is on fire!
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Whoo-hoo!
Insurance to the rescue!
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Hello, Homer.
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00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,660
Marge, we had a deal.
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Your sisters don't
come here after 6:00,
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00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:02,413
and I stop eating your lipstick.
37
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,457
This is a special occasion.
38
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,793
Patty and Selma just got promoted
at the D.M.V.
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00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:07,877
Yeah, Homer.
40
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:11,464
Let your wife have
a glimpse of success for once.
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00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,966
All right.
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00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,676
That's the last straw.
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00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:18,138
Time to take out
the trash, but first
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00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,265
I'm going to have
to ask you to leave.
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00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,900
I'm sorry.
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00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,569
Homer doesn't mean to be rude.
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He's just a very
complicated man.
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Wrong!
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When are you going to wake up
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00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,200
and smell your husband, Marge?
51
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,369
Granted, you got
some kids out of him,
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00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:42,763
but when the seeds
have been planted,
53
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,205
you throw away the envelope.
54
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,049
I wish you wouldn't put
Homer down like that.
55
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,834
He may not be a
big success like you,
56
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,586
but I can always count on him
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to provide for the family.
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Sweet, trusting Marge,
I can't let you down.
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I'll get some money somehow.
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00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,139
Hello. Vegas?
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00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,183
Give me a hundred bucks on red.
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00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,102
D'All right,
I'll send you a check.
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00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,982
If only I could think
of an invention.
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00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,817
Something that would
really make money.
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00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,029
Must concentrate and work harder
than I've ever worked...
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00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,828
Congratulations,
Mr. Simpson.
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This invention of yours
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00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,874
has made us all rich,
especially you.
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00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,292
It's simple yet ingenious
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00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,461
and it fits right
in the palm of your hand.
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00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,630
Every person in America
now owns one of these
72
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,298
and in many cases,
three or four.
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00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,799
Could I just get a look at that?
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00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,509
Why would you need to see it?
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00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,054
You're the genius who invented
the product in question.
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00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,388
But, could I just...
77
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,015
Now don't worry,
you'll get to see it
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00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,142
just as soon as we unveil
our new ad campaign.
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00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,894
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
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00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:49,604
Let me see! Let me see!
Out of the way!
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00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,522
Homer! Homer, wake up!
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There's still a few minutes
till our usual bedtime.
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00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,652
Ooh, my invention!
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00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,654
All my money problems
could have...
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00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,030
Money problems?
Homer, are we
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00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:00,907
in some sort of
fiduciary trouble?
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00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,788
Marge, my loyal wife,
88
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:08,915
of course not.
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00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:12,168
And Lisa, my little princess.
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00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,921
And who could forget
dear Rat Boy?
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00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:16,047
Rat Boy? I resent that.
92
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,342
Bart, I told you before...
93
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,135
Stop gnawing on the drywall.
94
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,304
What a day, Milhouse?
95
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,265
The sun is out,
birds are singing.
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00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,267
Bees are trying to
have sex with them...
97
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,726
As is my understanding.
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00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:31,020
It is a gorgeously fabulous day.
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00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,689
Marvelous even.
100
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,609
So, what's your
hurry to get to school?
101
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,819
Nothing.
102
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:39,320
What's your hurry?
103
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,157
That's enough, Bart.
104
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,701
Fun is fun, but if we're late,
105
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:45,928
we're going to get in trouble.
106
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,453
You're right, Milhouse.
107
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:48,997
Fun is fun.
108
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:55,670
Attention, students.
It's time once again
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00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,231
to choose a gym class
for the coming term,
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00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,590
so let's all prove
how adult we can be
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00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,968
by filing to the gym
in a calm and orderly manner,
112
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:03,886
even though it's first come,
first serve,
113
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,570
and the most popular sports
fill up fast.
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00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,727
Aargh, too many wee ones!
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00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,689
This gets uglier every year.
116
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:16,566
Any sign of Bart and Milhouse?
117
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,443
No. And if they don't
get here soon,
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00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:20,236
it'll be T.S. for them.
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00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:24,991
I don't feel right.
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00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,660
Do you hear that, Bart?
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00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,370
That was the tardy bell.
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00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,664
"Truant! Truant! Truant!"
They'll all say.
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00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,125
Aw, who needs him?
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00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:35,418
I can have fun all by myself.
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00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,586
S'all right?
126
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:37,837
S'all right.
127
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,088
S'all right?
S'all right.
128
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,506
S'all right?
S'all right.
129
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,762
Sure Homer, I can loan you
all the money you need.
130
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,723
However, since you
have no collateral,
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00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:51,726
I'm gonna have to break
your legs in advance.
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00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,644
Gosh, Moe, I use these
all the time.
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00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,646
Couldn't you just
bash my head in?
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00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,273
Hey, hey, are you a loan shark?
135
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,359
Do you understand
how finance works?
136
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,485
Now, let's do this thing.
137
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:08,951
No.
138
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,286
It's P.E. sign-up day.
139
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,621
How could you forget?
140
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,664
They had signs posted
all over the library.
141
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,750
Better sign up for
something fast, man.
142
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,668
Baseball just filled up...
143
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,712
So did tae kwon do.
144
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,849
There's only one class left,
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00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:35,603
but it happens to be
the coolest one of all.
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00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:38,815
Ballet?
Dancing is for girls.
147
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,942
Well, you should have
gotten here earlier.
148
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:44,904
I need another extension
on my mortgage payments.
149
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:47,387
I understand that Mr. Simpson,
but according to our computer,
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00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,742
your credit history is not good.
151
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,829
It says here that you've been
pre-declined for every major credit card.
152
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:55,540
It also says that you once
grabbed a dog by the hind legs
153
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,917
and pushed him around
like a vacuum cleaner.
154
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,120
That was in the third grade.
155
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,379
Well, it all goes
on your permanent record.
156
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:03,857
I'm sorry, but if you don't come up
with that money by tomorrow,
157
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,234
the bank is going
to take your house.
158
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,051
Well, good luck finding it
159
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,975
because I'm gonna take
the numbers off tonight.
160
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,930
Well, we'll look for the house
with no numbers.
161
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,075
Then I'll take off the numbers
on my neighbor's house.
162
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:16,144
So then we'll look for the house next
to the house with no numbers.
163
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:18,771
All right,
you'll get your money.
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00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,773
You're my last last chance...
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00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,483
Bottom-of-the-barrel, hail-mary,
166
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,652
longshot-wish-you-would-do-it
but-probably-won't
167
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,654
final resort to lend me money.
168
00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:27,864
We'll take care of you.
169
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,615
Yes, care.
170
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:51,804
Cut him a check
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00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,598
and get him the
hell out of here.
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00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,814
What a wonderful dinner.
What a beautiful family.
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00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,192
Someone get a picture of me
with my arm around this steak.
174
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,919
You're certainly in a good
mood tonight, Dad.
175
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,570
Well, Lisa,
176
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:09,614
I managed to solve
a little problem today,
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00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:13,201
and to celebrate,
I'm going to tilt my chair.
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00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:16,954
Slanty.
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00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,708
Patty, Selma?
What are you doing here?
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00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:23,628
We thought we'd stop by
unexpectedly for dinner.
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00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,923
Now bring us some extra chairs
like a good blubber-in-law.
182
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,466
Time to fertilize the lawn.
183
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:31,552
A couple of 500-pound bags
should do it.
184
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,197
Homer, be careful with
my sisters' heads.
185
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,972
Their necks are brittle.
186
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,141
That's okay, Marge.
Nothing's broke...
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00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,726
Except Homer.
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00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,645
What's that supposed to mean?
189
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,897
It means...
190
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:45,691
It means these two
fabulous babes
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00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,401
are staying for dinner.
192
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:51,906
Now, there's a stink
I could have done without.
193
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:54,534
This has been such
a nice, peaceful dinner.
194
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:55,785
It calls for a celebration.
195
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,286
I'm going to make
196
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,372
the most international coffee
in the house...
197
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,457
Montreal Morn.
198
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:04,895
All right, you had your fun.
199
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,254
Now get lost.
200
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,089
Our fun hasn't begun yet.
201
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:15,680
We know something you
don't want Marge to know.
202
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,473
Now we own you
203
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,017
like Siegfried owns Roy.
204
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:23,145
I'm sorry. All we have
is Nescafe.
205
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,481
I'm very, very sorry.
206
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,525
Marge, Marge.
You're just in time.
207
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:30,736
Homer's getting ready
to give us a foot rub.
208
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:31,737
You are?
209
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,657
No! I...
210
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:38,202
I'm giving them a foot massage.
211
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,121
At least let me have that.
212
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:42,707
You can start with the corns.
213
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:46,168
Then you can move on
to bunion country.
214
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,170
Okay. Steady, Bart.
215
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,716
Taking ballet doesn't
make you any less of a man.
216
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,930
All right, girls.
217
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,933
Today we learn the dance
of the fairy queens.
218
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,394
You can either be
a fairy or a queen.
219
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:04,770
It's wide open.
220
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,691
And what have we here?
221
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,736
A young man maybe who thinks
he can be the next Baryshnikov?
222
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,571
I don't want to be
the next anything.
223
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,823
I'm only taking this stupid
class because they made me.
224
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,658
So, he has fire in the belly.
225
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:21,495
But it will take more than belly
fire to be the next Baryshnikov.
226
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,956
Look, Boris, I think
ballet's for sissies.
227
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,978
Ballet is for the strong,
the fierce, the determined...
228
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,003
But for the sissies...
229
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:30,212
Never.
230
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,006
Now, put on this fuchsiatard.
231
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,966
You, are a fairy.
232
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,552
Quitting time.
233
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,928
Let's go Homer.
On the way home,
234
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,388
we're stopping at Moe's
for a Zima.
235
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,599
Maybe I'll just stay
and work overtime.
236
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:44,518
My sisters-in-law
are at my house again.
237
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,145
Homer, quit wallowing
in self-pity.
238
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:49,065
Pull yourself together
and come get drunk with us.
239
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:52,151
♪♪
240
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,822
Is something wrong,
Mr. Simpson?
241
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,491
I don't like wearing
tights, ma'am.
242
00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:01,369
But so many of your
heroes wear tights.
243
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,536
Batman, for example
244
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,622
and... Magellan.
245
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,558
Look, I don't like this cootie platoon
and I never will.
246
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:07,875
I'm out of here,
247
00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:09,278
and I'm out
of this stupid outfit.
248
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:14,548
Wait.
249
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,342
Joy of movement increasing.
250
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,803
Love of dance,
impossible to resist.
251
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,348
Toes twinkling!
252
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:23,683
Look at me, girls.
253
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,226
I'm doing ballet!
254
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,436
And I love it!
255
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,273
Am I wrong,
256
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,651
or did it just get fatter
in here?
257
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,361
Request permission to slink by.
258
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,154
Permission pending.
259
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,489
First...
260
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,199
light our cigarettes.
261
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:41,867
But you're already
smoking cig...
262
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,039
You're really pushing it.
263
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,708
Come on, Homer.
264
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,961
You can't spell "obsequious"
without "I-O-U."
265
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,462
I'll have to trust you on that.
266
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,256
Well, Marge was always
a good speller.
267
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:56,549
Let's ask her.
268
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:57,842
No! Don't tell Marge.
269
00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,635
I'll be good, I'll be good.
270
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,477
Just for that, you have
to crawl around on the floor
271
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,271
like the dog you are.
272
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,982
Yes, ma'am.
273
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:16,944
Now say "I am Homer Simpson,
274
00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:18,738
the lowly dog"
275
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,197
in a dog's voice.
276
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,074
I am rrr-omer rrr-impson.
277
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,492
Good.
Jump, Homer, jump.
278
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,411
What's going on in here?
279
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:26,871
Rabso-rutely rothing, Rarge.
280
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,497
- What's that paper?
- What paper?
281
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,837
Homer.
282
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,422
Is this projection accurate?
283
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:39,341
Did you borrow money
from my sisters?
284
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,153
I don't know Marge.
I can't be expected to keep track
285
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,095
of all my wheelings
and dealings.
286
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:46,015
He blew all your savings
on jack-o'-lanterns.
287
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,767
You told!
288
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,187
Sorry, Marge.
289
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,444
I never want to see
you again. You either.
290
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:01,781
Homer.
Homer, why didn't you tell me?
291
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,616
I was ashamed, Marge.
292
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,576
I failed you as
a husband and a provider,
293
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:08,537
and at best, I was a B-plus dog.
294
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,874
I'll understand if you wanna sleep
on the couch tonight.
295
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:18,964
How's Dad today?
296
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,383
Not too good, Lisa.
297
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,928
Frankly, he's underneath
the table.
298
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,180
Nobody make me any breakfast.
299
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,474
A man so deeply in debt
doesn't deserve it.
300
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:30,976
But I like to make
you breakfast.
301
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,062
In that case,
I'll just have French toast
302
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,064
with double butter
and a side of bacon.
303
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:37,858
But no powdered sugar...
I don't deserve it.
304
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,235
Maybe a little powdered sugar.
305
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:46,992
See that?
306
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,678
I started to do, like,
a little arabesque,
307
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:50,162
but then I just
fully went for it
308
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:53,082
and pulled off
the demi-entrechat.
309
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,668
Not that I'm into
that kind of thing.
310
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,628
Bravissimo, Bart!
311
00:13:57,711 --> 00:14:00,506
Next week,
class gives its first recital
312
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:03,592
and you, you will
dance the male lead.
313
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,302
Dance in front
of my whole school?
314
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,137
What is it with you and ballet?
315
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,265
I know you have
great conflict, Bart.
316
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,724
You love ballet,
317
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:14,728
yet you fear the boys
will laugh at you. No?
318
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,522
No. I fear the girls
will laugh at me.
319
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:18,941
I fear the boys will beat
the living snot out of me.
320
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:22,152
Hey Dad, what you doing?
321
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,613
Daddy has very
important work to do.
322
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,882
He's looking
through the want ads
323
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,491
to find a part-time job.
324
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,910
Dad, that's a gag paper
we got at the carnival.
325
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,079
No wonder I didn't hear
about Bart being elected
326
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,373
World's Greatest Sex Machine.
327
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,458
Aw, I'll never pay
off that debt.
328
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,752
Need money fast?
Got no experience?
329
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:42,590
Step up to elegance.
Become a limo driver at Classy Joe's.
330
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:45,885
That's it! I'll make money
with a chauffeur job.
331
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,220
Good thing you turned
on that TV, Lisa.
332
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,514
I didn't turn it on.
I thought you turned it on.
333
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:53,100
No. Well, anyway,
turn it off.
334
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:54,310
It is off.
335
00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:02,961
You're gonna have to work hard
to win this crowd over.
336
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,695
Most of them are here
as part of detention.
337
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,655
Really big crowd.
338
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,198
We even bussed in troublemakers
339
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,283
from other schools.
340
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,964
That spiky-haired, masked dancer
is really something.
341
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:25,132
I wonder who he is.
342
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:27,593
He's graceful, yet masculine
343
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,929
So it's okay for me
to enjoy this.
344
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,932
This reminds me
of the movie Fame,
345
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,851
and to a lesser extent,
the TV series
346
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,062
which was also called Fame.
347
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,108
Wow. I can't believe
348
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:46,612
my very first passenger is
comedy legend Mel Brooks.
349
00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:49,198
I loved that movie
Young Frankenstein.
350
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,033
Scared the hell out of me.
351
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,785
Um, thanks.
352
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,579
Hey, let's do that
2,000-pound-man thing.
353
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,849
I'll be the Carl Reiner guy,
and you be what's-his-face.
354
00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,708
Homer, it's not that easy.
355
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,293
It takes the genius
of Carl Reiner
356
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,188
and the rhythm and timing
that only he and I...
357
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:06,173
Sir, today every country
has a national anthem.
358
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:09,343
Did they have national anthems
2,000 years ago?
359
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:12,513
Sure. Sure we had.
Of course we was caves.
360
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:14,974
But every cave
had a national anthem.
361
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,851
I'll never forget
my cave's national anthem.
362
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,520
What was that national anthem?
363
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,522
♪ Let 'em all go to hell ♪
364
00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:23,607
♪ Except Cave 76 ♪
365
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,112
Vat's with the si...
What's with the siren?
366
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:32,199
Evening, Simpson.
You got a short in your taillight.
367
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,718
Started blinking when
you made that turn.
368
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,285
Let's see your
Chauffeur's License.
369
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,830
Chauffeur's License?
370
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,748
Mel, buckle your borscht belt!
371
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:44,920
Since you're trying
to make a getaway in park
372
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,423
I'm guessing you
don't have a license.
373
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,341
Better head down
to the D.M.V.
374
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,552
These two broads
will help you out.
375
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:56,432
Wow. Officer, this man
is making me a little edgy.
376
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,118
Could you please give me
a ride to the airport?
377
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:00,978
Hey! Hey! You're Mel Brooks!
378
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,521
Sure. I'll give you a ride.
379
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:03,981
Thank you.
380
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:06,483
On the way, we can do
that 2,000-dollar-man thing.
381
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:11,030
You be Carl Reiner,
and I'll be Police Chief Wiggum.
382
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:14,324
Listen, why don't you play Carl Reiner
and let me play Police Chief Wiggum?
383
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:15,951
I hate Carl Reiner.
384
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:22,666
I haven't been moved like this
since the Joy Luck Club.
385
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,006
They love me. I'm accepted.
386
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:30,591
I don't need this mask anymore.
387
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:34,219
Behold, the masked dancer
is me, Bart.
388
00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:38,390
It is I who have won
your acclaim.
389
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,476
Bart does ballet!
390
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,019
He dances like girls!
391
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,102
Ha, ha!
392
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,772
Go ahead and laugh,
393
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,708
but I took a chance and did
something I wanted to do.
394
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:50,986
And if that makes me a sissy,
well, then, I guess I'm a sissy.
395
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,822
He's a sissy.
396
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,324
Let's rush him.
397
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,326
Yeah, let's get him!
398
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,660
Come on!
399
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,287
After him, go!
400
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,041
There he is!
There, right there!
401
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,710
Bart, use the ballet.
402
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:10,506
Leap, leap like
you've never leapt before.
403
00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:21,850
Looks like he took
a pretty bad spill.
404
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,311
Well, as long as he's hurt.
405
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,816
Bart, I am so proud of you.
406
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,499
You've shown
a sensitive side of yourself
407
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:31,985
that can never be erased.
408
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,738
From this day forward,
we are kindred spirits.
409
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,492
Why did she just leave me here
410
00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:40,953
when I clearly need
medical attention?
411
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,667
Stupid driving test
at the stupid D.M.V.
412
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,961
where stupid Patty
and stupid Selma work.
413
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,088
Sometimes,
I think God is teasing me,
414
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,549
just like he teased Moses
in the desert.
415
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,551
Tested, Homer.
God tested Moses.
416
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,886
And try to be nice
to my sisters.
417
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,180
Very hard on me to have you
fighting all the time.
418
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,683
Okay, Marge.
I'll get along with them.
419
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:04,685
Then, I will hug some snakes.
420
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:09,189
Yes, I will hug and kiss
some poisonous snakes!
421
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,732
Now, that's sarcasm.
422
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,820
Well, well, well.
Look who needs us again
423
00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:16,947
to get his Chauffeur's License.
424
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:19,241
Look, all I ask
is that you be fair.
425
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,910
Did not adjust side mirror...
Minus one point.
426
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,329
Failed to check blind
spot... minus two points.
427
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,641
You won't be happy till my family
thinks I'm a loser, will ya?
428
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,041
You are a loser, Homer.
429
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:30,294
And we're winners.
Ya gotta learn that.
430
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:32,629
Seat belt twisted...
Minus one point.
431
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:35,215
Nagging the driver...
Minus ten points for you!
432
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,925
Grazed a cone...
Minus five points.
433
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,529
Being a jerk...
Minus a million points.
434
00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:41,930
- D!
- One more wrong answer,
435
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,267
and Homer flunks another
of life's little tests.
436
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,894
And what's this?
437
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,605
Someone didn't fill in
a circle all the way.
438
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,527
Boy.
That felt good.
439
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:56,778
Let me try.
Let me try.
440
00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,615
Yeah.
Boy.
441
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,575
That was so sweet.
442
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,413
- So Homer, how did you do?
- Well, I...
443
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,709
Ladies, please don't
tell me you're smoking
444
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,294
in a government building
445
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,588
because that is precisely
the kind of infraction
446
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:17,049
that can cost a couple
of sisters their promotion.
447
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,551
- Yeah, what?
- You mean...
448
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,523
I'll never forgive myself
for this.
449
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:37,402
Wait a minute.
450
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:38,779
Those are yours, sir?
451
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:39,863
Yes.
452
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,282
I am in flavor country.
453
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,034
Both of them?
454
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:46,328
It's a big country.
455
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:47,996
Ladies, I apologize.
456
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,499
And you, sir, are worse than Hitler.
457
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,543
Homer, I'm...
458
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:56,630
I'm speechless.
You just saved our hides.
459
00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:59,424
Please, on top of everything else,
don't make me picture your hides.
460
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,302
That's a wonderful thing
you did for my sisters.
461
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:03,387
I didn't do it for them.
462
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,180
I did it for you, Marge.
463
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,932
I'd kill for you.
464
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,642
Please ask me to kill for you.
465
00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:11,436
No, Homey.
You see?
466
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,872
This is the stuff
I've been telling you about
467
00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:14,898
that you never see.
468
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:18,068
Homer...
469
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:21,113
We're... sorry.
470
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:22,799
If there's anything
we can do to make it up...
471
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,950
- Call off the debt?
- Or, say we could let you
472
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:26,285
pass your driver's test.
473
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:28,829
- Call off the debt?
Well...
474
00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:30,497
Debt's off. Let's go, Marge.
Whoo-hoo!
475
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:42,009
♪♪
476
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,220
Shh!
477
00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:32,768
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ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
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