All language subtitles for The.Simpsons.S06E13.And.Maggie.Makes.Three.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-MZABI_track3_[eng]

♪ The Simpsons ♪

D'

Aah!

We now return to
Knightboat, the crime-solving boat.

Faster, Knightboat. We've got
to catch those starfish poachers.

You don't have to yell,
Michael. I'm all around you.

No! They're headed
for land.

We'll never catch them now.

Incorrect.
Look! A canal.

Go, Knightboat, go!

Every week there's a canal.

- Or an inlet.
- Or a fjord.

Quiet! I will not hear
another word against the boat.

Okay, TV off... It's family time.

But, Marge!

Knightboat...
The crime-solving boat.

Homer, you promised...

One night of family time a week.

Besides, that back-talking boat
sets a bad example.

Says you, woman.

All right, family
time begins now.

Homer!

It was Bart.

Why don't we all look
at the photo album?

So many memories.

Look...

Knightboat.

Aw...

And here's our TV
next to the mirror.

It looks like we have two.

- Wow. Two.
- Wow. Two.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... Two.

Let's get to the baby pictures.

That's exciting.

Please.

Here's Bart sleeping.

Here he is dozing.

Here he is after a
visit from the sandman.

Ooh, here's nappy-time, Bart.

Here's a cute one...
He's all tuckered out.

Why aren't there any
pictures of Maggie?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

It's actually a very
interesting story.

It all began about two years ago
before Maggie was even born.

Bart, you were Lisa's age.

And Lisa, you were... The age
Bart was several years ago.

Get the camera ready.

Bart very sleepy.

Listen carefully, and my
words will shape images

as clear as any TV show.

It was a tumultuous time
for our nation.

The clear beverage craze
gave us all a reason to live.

The information superhighway
showed the average person

what some nerd thinks
about Star Trek

and the domestication of
the dog continued unabated.

I was at my workstation
when suddenly...

Attention, American workers.

Your plant has been taken over
by an all-star team

of freelance terrorists.

Not on my shift!

No, you don't.

Simpson 10, terrorists 8.

Homer, tell the story right.

Okay.

Homer, you should see a doctor.

I don't think a healthy man

can make that kind of smell.

Your paychecks, gentlemen.

Whoo-hoo!

This is it.

With this single, glorious check

I'm finally
completely out of debt!

Yes! With my bills paid off

I can finally quit
this lousy job.

But Homer, how you going
to make a living?

Don't worry about Homer J.

I've got a plan...

A plan that will fix you good.

Hey, what did we do?

Sorry. That just
slipped out.

I'll miss you.

Did you hear me?

I said I quit, Monty!

And since I quit,
I can do anything I want.

Is that so?

Ooh, lovely desk.

It would be too bad
if someone...

I don't know...

Didn't use a coaster!

Such a nice, tidy office.

Maybe it's time you
started living like a pig!

I hope I haven't
upset you... Bongo head!

I should be resisting this,
but I'm paralyzed with rage.

And island rhythms.

Yeah! Way to play the boss's
head like a bongo, Homer.

He's getting a pretty good
sound out of that guy.

And...

Ee! Ooh!

That's for employing me
for eight years!

And that is that.

Good-bye, mind-numbing,
backbreaking labor forever.

Hello, dream job in paradise.

And now,
the final phase of my plan.

Hey, Barney, any chance
you can get me a job here?

Sure, Homer.

I told you, my uncle
owns the place.

Hey, Uncle Al,
can Homer have a job?

- Sure.
- Whoo-hoo!

Barney, you're fired.

Okay.

Show up tomorrow.
Bring three rags.

And a change of pants.

- Why?
- When it happens, you'll know.

You're a pin monkey?

Wow. Finally I don't
have to be ashamed

of my father's job.

I think it's romantic,

throwing off your shackles
of the workday world

and following a dream...
Of sorts.

I don't know if it's
such a good idea.

Can we get by on
a pin monkey's salary?

Don't worry, Marge.

I've come up with
a perfectly balanced budget.

There will be exactly
enough money

for you, me, Bart and Lisa,

if we make a few
small sacrifices.

From now on, we use
regular toilet paper

not that fancy quilted kind.

And only one of you kids
can go to college.

- Fine.
- Fine.

That night your mother and I

went out for a romantic evening

to celebrate the start
of our new life.

We began
with dinner and dancing.

♪ At the Copa ♪

♪ Copacabana ♪

♪ The hottest spot
north of Havana ♪

♪ At the Copa... ♪

Followed by a stroll
on the beach.

Marge.

Homer.

I've got sand in my underpants.

Me too. Let's go home.

I love you, Marge.

I love you, too, Homey.

Everything in our lives

is finally perfectly balanced.

I hope things stay
exactly like this forever.

- D'
-D'

- D'
-D'

Whoo-hoo!

Eww!

Did you have to be so graphic?

It's okay, Marge.

They pave the way for this
kind of filth in school.

So Dad, were you excited
that Mom was pregnant?

Actually, your mother
hadn't told me yet.

At that time, I had no idea
Maggie even existed.

- Dad!
- Dad!

Hi, Maggie.

So, anyhoo, back then there
was no way for me to know

your mother was pregnant.

Marge, you tie up
the bathroom every morning.

I've got to wash my hair.

The next few weeks
at my dream job

were like a wonderful
waking coma.

Hey, Homer.

- Hi there, Homer.
- Hi there, Homer.

- Hi, Homer.
- Hi, there, Homer.

Hi.

Bowling fresh.

Urinal fresh.

Homer, did you polish your head
in the Shine-o Ball-o?

- No.
- Okay, then.

Whoo!

I slowly learned

the intricate mysteries
of the alley,

like where the pins go
after they're knocked down.

♪♪

I was in heaven.

If horse racing
is the sport of kings,

then surely bowling is
a very good sport as well.

Hey, great job, Homer.

Thanks a lot, Homer.

Hey, you're the best.

♪ I'm gonna make
it after all ♪

Congratulations, Mrs. Simpson.
You're pregnant.

Am I to take it that this is...

an unwanted pregnancy?

No, no, not exactly.

It's just that I
haven't told Homer yet.

And with his new job,

I don't know how we're
going to be able to afford this.

Well, you know, a healthy baby
can bring upwards of $60,000.

- What?
- Well, of course, that was just a test.

Had you reacted differently,
why, you'd be in jail right now.

Simply a test.

So in a few months,

both of you will have
a brand new brother or sister.

Been there.
Done that.

I hope it's a girl.

You know nothing
about genetics, Lis.

It goes boy, girl, boy, girl.

You're worried about telling Dad,
aren't you, Mom?

Why do you say that?

Well, you've been in my room
for about four hours now.

Hey, I'm just hanging.

Homey, I...

Can't talk. Praying.

Dear Lord, the gods
have been good to me,

and I am thankful.

For the first time in my life,

everything is absolutely
perfect just the way it is.

So here's the deal.

You freeze everything as it is,

and I won't ask
for anything more.

If that is okay,

please give me
absolutely no sign.

Okay, deal.

In gratitude,
I present you this offering

of cookies and milk.

If you want me
to eat them for you,

give me no sign.

Thy will be done.

Oogie-boogie-boogie-
boogie-boogie-boo.

Oogie-boogie-boogie-boogie-boo.

I've got to tell Homer
about this baby

in just the right way
and at just the right time.

Until then, please,
keep this to yourselves.

If he found out now,

it would probably destroy him?

Yes.

- Gotta go.
- Gotta go.

Wait a minute! Wait!
I know that look.

Now, promise you
won't tell Homer.

We promise
we won't tell... Homer.

Hello, is this
A. Aaronson?

It might interest you to know

that Marge Simpson
is pregnant again.

Just thought you'd like
to know, Mr. Zakowski.

There.

Aaronson and Zakowski are
the two biggest gossips in town.

In an hour, everyone will know.

Another perfect day
in my perfect life

with my perfect job.

Hey, just heard the news
over the squawk box.

That's nice work, Homer.

Thank you!

Thank you very much.
It is nice work.

Mr. Simpson,
I have just heard

about the little bundle of joy.

- Congratulations, sir.
- It's true.

The bundle is little,
but I'm not in it for the money.

Hey, Homer!

Way to get Marge pregnant.

Heh-heh-heh.

This is getting very abstract,
but thank you.

I do enjoy working
at the bowling alley.

Surprise!
Baby shower!

Baby shower?

You know I haven't
told Homer yet,

and he'll be home any minute.

- Really?
- Really?

Man, it's windy
as hell out there.

Hey, wait a minute.

What are all these presents?

It looks like you're
showering Marge with gifts.

With little tiny,
baby-sized gifts.

Well, I'll be in the tub.

By the way,

congratulations
on your new job, Homer.

New job?

Marge is pregnant?

No!

Wow, Dad. You really
threw a tantrum

like a little sissy girl?

Just that one time.

Actually, when I was about
to have Bart...

You're pregnant?

And then when I told him
about Lisa...

You're pregnant again?

Well, who wouldn't be upset?

That new baby
in your mother's womb

was a ticking time bomb

threatening to blow this family
eight ways from Sunday.

Hey, where are you going?

Dad, you can't expect a person
to sit for 30 minutes straight.

I'm going to get a snack
and maybe go to the bathroom.

I'll stay here,
but I'm going to think

about products I might
like to purchase.

Ooh...

Ooh... I don't have that.

You're pregnant!

We're gonna have to have a baby.

All our financial
plans are ruined.

We're doomed.

Doomed, I tells ya!

Pow!

Bart, let your father
tell the story.

Yeah.

Okay, but I know funny.

Anyhoo...

We're doomed.

- Homer, you had a head.
- Check.

And your bottom
was a little bigger.

Aw...

You've worked hard
at the bowling alley.

Why don't you ask for a raise?

Yeah, a raise.

I've never been good
enough at any job

to deserve one before,

but I'm damn good at this one.

That's it. I'm going to march
right up to Al and say...

Steve... I mean, Al,

I think I deserve a raise.

You're a hard worker,

and I'd like to give
you a raise,

but the alley just ain't
doing enough business

to pay that kind of money.

How about if I
triple the business?

Then could I get a raise?

Well, yeah, but...

Of course.

Bowling. Bowling here.

Come bowl now.

Get your bowling.

Who's ready? Bowling.

Mom, make Dad tell
the story right.

That's what really happened.

My marketing plan attracted

a record number of police
and fire officials,

but few stayed to bowl.

I failed.

Quitting my dream job

was the hardest thing
I've ever done.

You did a great job, Homer,

and I'm really gonna miss you.

The place has never
been cleaner.

And the way you kept
the young people away...

That was beautiful.

Anyway, we all pitched in,
and we got you

this little going-away thing.

This was the happiest time
of my life.

I'll never forget you guys,
especially you, Joey.

See you around, Mr. Homer.

Don't worry, Joey.

We'll make it
to California someday.

Sure we will, Mr. Homer.

Sure we will.

It's going to be sad around here

without you, Homer.

Boy, this is depressing.

Hey, I know what would
cheer us up... Bowling.

Look at this.
I got a ball here.

I'm cheered up.

Hey, this is fun.

I needed more money
to support my growing family,

and there was only
one place in town

that a man like me
could make it.

Acid rain again.

Yes? Are you
a new applicant?

Actually, I quit,
and I came to get my job back.

Through there.

So, come crawling back?

Seems like
the classy thing to do

would be not to call
attention to it.

Thanks for giving me
my old job back.

I'm afraid it's not that simple.

As punishment
for your desertion,

it's company policy
to give you the plague.

Sir, that's the "plaque."

Yes, the special
demotivational plaque

to break what's left
of your spirit.

Because, you see,
you're here forever.

I've never been so miserable
in all my life,

but I can't take it out
on Marge and the kids.

I've got to carry
the burden all by myself.

Hi, Honey.
How are you?

Well, actually...

I can't go on with
this charade any longer.

I hate my job.
I hate my life.

And ever since I found out
about this baby,

there's been nothing
but bad luck.

My contractions started
an hour ago.

It's just in one ear and out the other
with you, isn't it Marge?

This is incredible.

It's God's most
wondrous miracle.

Sir, I think your wife
wants to hold the baby.

My wife?
Where? Where?

Congratulations.
It's a boy.

Arr! You're truly
the catch of the day.

It's wonderful.
It's magical.

Boy, here it comes...
Another mouth.

One more push should do it.

Marvelous.

Congratulations, Mr. Simpson.

You have a beautiful,
healthy baby.

Okay.

Homey, I think someone
is saying hello.

Hello.

Aw...

It's a boy, and what a boy!

That's the umbilical cord.

It's a girl.

A girl.

Marge, we have
a wonderful baby girl.

Not just a girl...

The most beautiful baby girl
in the whole world.

Come on, Marge,
show a little enthusiasm.

So you loved her
right from the start.

Absolutely.

Then why no pictures?

There are pictures.

I keep them where I need
the most cheering up.

♪♪

Shh!

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