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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
3
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Aah!
4
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:35,035
All right, I raise a quarter.
5
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,453
- I'm out.
- I'm out.
6
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,663
I'm out.
7
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,665
Homer, you want
any cards? Homer!
8
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Whoo.
9
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,421
Don't try to eat
these so-called "chips."
10
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,881
Do you want another card or not?
11
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,424
Okay.
I'll take three.
12
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,676
D'D'D'
13
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,429
I mean, whoo-hoo.
14
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,598
I'm in.
Let's see your cards.
15
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:59,726
I was bluffing.
16
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:02,562
Come to papa!
Wait a minute.
17
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,856
You have
a straight flush, homer!
18
00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:08,651
G'You do this every time, ya...
You...
19
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:12,030
Chokin' on my own rage, here.
20
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:15,075
Hey, don't yell at Homer
just 'cause he's a little slow.
21
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,328
Something was said. Not good.
22
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What was it?
"Don't yell at Homer"!
23
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No, that's okay.
What was it?
24
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:26,711
"Slow."
They called you "Slow"!
25
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,756
How dare you call me that?
I...
26
00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:32,717
Hey, Homer, you still here?
Boy, you are slow.
27
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,552
Something said. Not good.
28
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,137
Get the hell out of here.
29
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:45,939
So anyhoo, last night
we're playin' poker, right?
30
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,608
As usual, I'm winning
and not realizing it.
31
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And Lenny says that I'm...
32
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:55,990
Get this...
33
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"A little slow"!
34
00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:05,291
How come you're not laughing?
Do you think I'm slow?
35
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,293
- Buh.
- Snuh.
36
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:12,674
We don't think you're slow,
37
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:15,844
but on the other hand,
it's not like you go to museums
38
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,554
or read books or anything.
39
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You think I don't want to?
40
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:22,809
It's those TV networks, Marge.
They won't let me.
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00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,727
One quality show after another,
42
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,814
each one fresher and more
brilliant than the last.
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00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:29,607
If they only stumbled once,
44
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,694
just gave us 30 minutes
to ourselves.
45
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But they won't!
They won't let me live!
46
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Who am I kidding?
47
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- I am slow.
- Homey.
48
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,165
If you feel so bad
about yourself,
49
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,834
there's always things
you can do to feel better.
50
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,061
Take another bath
in malt liquor?
51
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,420
There's that.
52
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,173
Or you could take
an adult education course.
53
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,842
And how is "education"
54
00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,802
supposed to make
me feel smarter?
55
00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:00,430
Besides, every time I learn
something new,
56
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,640
it pushes some old stuff
out of my brain.
57
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:06,436
Remember when I took that home wine-making
course and I forgot how to drive?
58
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,937
That's because you were drunk!
59
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,606
And how.
60
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,659
One way to drive your man wild
61
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,871
is to wear tight,
revealing clothes.
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Eww!
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At this point
I'd like to remind you,
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00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,210
there are no refunds.
65
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,256
All right,
here's the 411, folks.
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00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,885
Say some gangsta
is dissin' your fly girl.
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Ya just give' em one of these.
68
00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:45,767
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
69
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,984
You see, that ping sound
means the spit was on target.
70
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Now you try.
71
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:01,699
Gettin' better.
72
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:05,912
Wait a minute.
Even Lenny is teaching a class.
73
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:08,539
Look at the way they admire
and adore him.
74
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:15,213
That's it. If he can teach a class,
he can teach a class!
75
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,382
I mean, I can teach a class!
76
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,635
What is your area of expertise?
77
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,446
Well, I can tell
the difference between butter
78
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,906
and "I Can't Believe
it's Not Butter."
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00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,474
No, you can't, Mr. Simpson.
No one can.
80
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I failed again.
81
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,478
Everybody can teach
a class but me.
82
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,690
I'm an idiot. What am I gonna
tell my wife and kids?
83
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,692
- You're married?
- That depends.
84
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,944
Is there another way
to get this job?
85
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,862
No. Mr. Simpson,
86
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,198
what I mean is we may have
a job for you after all.
87
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,201
We need someone to teach a course on
how to build a successful marriage.
88
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I'll do it!
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Anything to get me
out of that house,
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00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:51,124
away from all
that nagging and noise,
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00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,793
of a family of love.
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00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:55,169
♪ Sha-la-la-la ♪
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Look, everyone.
94
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,261
Now that I'm a teacher, I've
sewed patches on my elbows.
95
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:06,639
Homer, that's supposed
to be leather patches
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00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,350
on a tweed blazer,
not the other way around.
97
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,395
You've ruined
a perfectly good jacket.
98
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:17,108
Incorrect, Marge...
Two perfectly good jackets.
99
00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,610
I think it's great
you're a teacher, Dad.
100
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,654
So, will you be lecturing
from a standardized text
101
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,239
or using the more
Socratic method
102
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,683
of interactive
class participation?
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00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:29,078
Yes, Lisa.
Daddy's a teacher.
104
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,295
Homer.
What a pleasant...
105
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:40,465
Can't talk now, Flanders.
I've got a class to teach.
106
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:41,548
But you rang my...
107
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,012
Can I take your order?
108
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,680
Nothing for me today.
109
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,807
I've got a class to teach.
110
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:52,602
Sir, it's a felony
to tease the order box.
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00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:59,359
It's all right. I'm a teacher!
112
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,819
I didn't know we could do that.
113
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,497
All right. The first thing
they told me to do
114
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,665
was to make sure everyone here
is in the right class.
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00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,502
Down the hall, room 12.
116
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Thank you.
117
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Ew.
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00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,005
Okay. Let's get started.
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Um...
120
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h-h-m...
121
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No talking.
122
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No.
123
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,451
Um, how about if we tell you
124
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,412
our problems with relationships.
125
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:55,498
Yeah. Yeah!
That'll eat up some time.
126
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:59,377
Um, how about you, Otto?
127
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:03,297
My standards
are just too high, you know?
128
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,716
I feel like nobody's
good enough for me.
129
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,262
Whoa. You think
you got 'em all,
130
00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,055
but you forget about the eggs.
131
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,141
My problem is
I'm a real user of women.
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00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:16,352
I move in right away and
stay until the money's gone.
133
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,480
Well, I'm a smart woman,
but I make bad choices.
134
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,695
Okay. Here's a set of house keys
and my A.T.M. Card.
135
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,947
Um, I was married once, but,
136
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,324
I just didn't know
how to keep it together.
137
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,496
Come on, Waylon.
138
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,124
Make love to me
the way you used to.
139
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:39,584
No.
140
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:42,003
It's that horrible
Mr. Burns, isn't it?
141
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,714
You leave Mr. Burns
out of this!
142
00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,508
Smithers!
143
00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:54,015
Smithers!
144
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,251
Ooh, Mr. Simpson,
are you listening?
145
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,813
Simpson!
146
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,399
Yeah, I was listening.
Very funny.
147
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,360
Ya were not.
You were just eatin' a damn orange.
148
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,904
Yes, yes.
149
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,072
To the untrained eye,
I'm eating an orange,
150
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,241
but to the eye that has brains,
151
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,243
I'm making a point
about marriage.
152
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:18,706
For you see, marriage
is a lot like an orange.
153
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:20,791
First you have the skin,
154
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,711
then the sweet, sweet innards.
155
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,719
I don't understand.
156
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,322
If I wanted to see
a man eat an orange,
157
00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:36,015
I would have taken
the orange-eating class.
158
00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:39,727
The eating of an orange is
a lot like a good marriage.
159
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:42,355
Just eat the damn oranges!
160
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,900
This is terrible.
161
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,026
We're leaving.
162
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,694
Ach, let's get out of here.
163
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,821
This is a terrible excuse
for education.
164
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,908
I told Marge this wouldn't
work the other night in bed.
165
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,743
- In bed? Well.
- What?
166
00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:59,539
So somethin' wasn't workin' in bed?
Heh, heh, heh.
167
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,666
No, that's not what I meant.
168
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:04,293
Marge and I always
talk things over in bed.
169
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,377
Like the other night,
we were fighting about money.
170
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,755
Ooh, a fight.
171
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,841
Trouble in paradise?
Heh, heh, heh.
172
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,469
I was telling Marge
that we could save some money
173
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,930
if she only dyed her hair
once a month.
174
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:17,807
- Marge dyes her hair?
- Yeah.
175
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,018
She's been as gray as a mule
since she was 17.
176
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,937
Ooh.
Come on. Tell us more.
177
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,147
Tell us about it.
178
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,776
I went on for hours, and they
were hanging on my every word.
179
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:31,237
I really think I was born to teach.
180
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,156
All right, Simpson.
You were warned about teasing the box.
181
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,453
Wait! I need closure
on that anecdote.
182
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,299
Mrs. Simpson,
it may interest you to know,
183
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,468
we are having a sale
on blue dye number 52.
184
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,554
It is your hair color,
I believe.
185
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,681
Whatever do you mean?
186
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,809
I don't dye my hair.
187
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,436
Nah, nah, nah.
You got it wrong, 'Pu.
188
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,021
She's blue 56.
189
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,647
I don't know what
you're talking about.
190
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,066
We just love
your husband's class.
191
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,735
That's nice.
192
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:17,867
Homer, I really don't like you telling
personal secrets in your class.
193
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,828
Marge, I didn't tell 'em
personal stuff.
194
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:23,581
Today at the Kwik-e-Mart
everybody knew I dyed my hair.
195
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,625
You mean about you.
196
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,669
All right, maybe I said some things,
some personal things.
197
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,755
But you should've
seen 'em, Marge.
198
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,632
They really wanted to hear
what I had to say.
199
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,841
I'm happy about that.
200
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,926
But I think you
can be a good teacher
201
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,845
and still respect our privacy.
202
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,722
Look, Marge.
You don't know what it's like.
203
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,950
I'm the one out there every day
putting his ass on the line.
204
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,935
And I'm not out of order.
You're out of order!
205
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,647
The whole freakin' system
is out of order.
206
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,857
You want the truth?
You want the truth?
207
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,234
You can't handle the truth!
208
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:56,072
'Cause when you reach over
and put your hand into a pile of goo
209
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:59,909
that was your best friend's face,
you'll know what to do!
210
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:03,704
Forget it, Marge.
It's Chinatown!
211
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,916
Homer, don't ever tell them
personal stuff about me again!
212
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,084
Yes, ma'am.
213
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,752
Now, what is a wedding?
214
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:13,089
Well, Webster's Dictionary
describes a wedding as
215
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:16,676
"The process of removing
weeds from one's garden."
216
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,596
Tell us more
about you and Marge.
217
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,432
This is a place of learning,
not a house of...
218
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,975
hearing about things.
219
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,770
Guess he's run out of stories.
220
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:28,688
What a rip-off.
221
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:32,733
I can't believe I paid $10,000
for this course.
222
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,069
What the heck
was that lab fee for?
223
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:36,904
No. Wait. Um...
224
00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:39,156
Wait. I... Yes.
225
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,952
I do have a story about
two other young marrieds.
226
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:50,876
Now, the wife of this couple
has an interesting quirk in the bedroom.
227
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:55,756
It seems she goes wild with desire
if her husband nibbles on her elbow.
228
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,843
- We need names!
- Well, let's just call 'em,
229
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:02,722
Mr. "X" And Mrs. "Y."
230
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,473
So, anyway, Mr. "X" would say,
231
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,560
"Marge, if this doesn't
get your motor running,
232
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:09,812
my name isn't
Homer J. Simpson ."
233
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,735
Ooh, Homer.
234
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,278
Don't you have to get to class?
235
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:18,946
Not tonight, Marge.
236
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:22,408
Tonight we can eat a nice,
leisurely dinner at home.
237
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:24,326
Well, that will be l...
238
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,122
What the darn?
239
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:29,790
Marge, you'll never guess what.
240
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,500
My whole class is here.
241
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,419
They're going to observe
the human peep show
242
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,546
that is our lives.
243
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:39,341
Apparently, that disturbing odor
was the food.
244
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,929
So, little Lisa,
apple of my eye,
245
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,974
how are things down
at the old schoolhouse?
246
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:50,728
I find this demeaning and embarrassing
beyond my worst nightmares.
247
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,815
And how's my little
major leaguer?
248
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,234
Catch any june bugs today?
249
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,379
Well, me and Milhouse took
some mail from a mail truck
250
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:00,613
and threw it down the sewer.
251
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,865
Son, I know you meant well,
252
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:05,201
but that wasn't
the right thing to do.
253
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,744
What the hell are you
talkin' about?
254
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,245
You're the one
who double-dared us.
255
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,455
Why, you little...
256
00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:10,538
Ooh.
257
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,499
Homer!
258
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,417
- I'm outta here.
- Me too.
259
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,008
Well, now that the little ones
have toddled off to bed...
260
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:24,553
I want this to end now.
261
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,807
Hey, Homer.
Why don't you just nibble her elbow?
262
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,018
That always melts her butter, right?
Heh, heh, heh.
263
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,521
All right.
264
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,773
Okay.
Everybody out!
265
00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:38,025
Ooh, she's gotta have it.
266
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:42,488
Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!
Get out-out-out-out-out-out-out!
267
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,341
All right, we're breaking early
tonight, class.
268
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,450
For tomorrow, you should read
pages seven through 18
269
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:47,451
in Lisa's diary.
270
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,619
You too.
271
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:49,702
Get out!
272
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:50,745
But I'm not in the cla...
273
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,626
Is any of this gonna
be on the test?
274
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,711
'Cause I wasn't
payin' attention.
275
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:08,764
Come on, Marge. Let me in!
There's crickets out here.
276
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:14,395
Okay, Marge. Things were said.
Mistakes were made.
277
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:17,648
Let's end this madness
and get on with our lives.
278
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,900
You just don't get it,
do you, Homer?
279
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,444
You told personal things
about our lives,
280
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,154
even after
you promised you wouldn't.
281
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:27,658
- I can't trust you anymore.
- But I learned my lesson.
282
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:29,410
It'll never happen again.
283
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,829
Hey, Homer.
What's the big brouhaha-ha?
284
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,622
Marge is throwin' me out
285
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,457
for blabbin' about her elbow thing.
286
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,460
Honey, the door blew shut.
287
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,714
Fine.
288
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:44,133
If that's what you want,
you've got it.
289
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:47,761
This scene is gettin' old, man.
I'm hittin' the road.
290
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:51,265
Maybe I'll drop you a line
someday from wherever I wind up
291
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,267
in this crazy old world.
292
00:14:56,604 --> 00:15:01,525
Kids, your father and I are going
through a really tough time right now,
293
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,819
and I don't know
what's going to happen.
294
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:07,781
But just remember that both your mom
and your dad love you very, very much.
295
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:12,286
Wow, I've never seen Mom
so mad at Homer before.
296
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:14,121
I'll tell you a secret, Bart.
297
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,998
Every time I'm worried
about Mom and Dad,
298
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:18,792
I go to the attic and add
to my ball of string.
299
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:26,425
Earth base, this is
commander Bart McCool.
300
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,719
We are under attack by
the Zorrinid brain changers.
301
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:31,388
Quickly, into
the safety dome, Milbot.
302
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,223
Affirmative, humanoid.
303
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,560
Ew!
304
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,729
Don't mind me, boys.
Just scrubbin' my undies.
305
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:42,316
Sorry, Bart.
Your dad kinda blew the fantasy.
306
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:45,527
I only like it
when I'm pretend-scared.
307
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,987
Keep up the roughhousing, son.
308
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,740
Without a strong male
presence in the house,
309
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,742
you could turn sissy overnight.
310
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:54,203
These stubborn grass stains.
311
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,083
Good.
312
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,894
Reverend Lovejoy will
make Marge take me back.
313
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:03,045
He has to push
the sanctity of marriage,
314
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,547
or his god will punish him.
315
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,591
Get a divorce.
316
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,134
But isn't that a sin?
317
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,595
Marge, just about
everything is a sin.
318
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,931
You ever sat down
and read this thing?
319
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,183
Technically, we're not
allowed to go to the bathroom.
320
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,566
Good night, Marge.
321
00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:28,278
Why didn't I take a picture?
322
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,614
I had ten years
to take a picture.
323
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:34,785
Funny the way everything
reminds me of Homer.
324
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,089
I love you.
325
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,800
Will you marry me, Marge?
326
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:52,177
You mean, I'm gonna be a daddy?
327
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:57,224
I hope we'll always be
together, together, together...
328
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,018
Together?
329
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,561
Ooh.
330
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,485
Here, Dad. I brought you some nice...
331
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,822
Good news, Lisa. I don't need
your mother anymore.
332
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:16,243
I've created a replacement that's
superior to her in almost every way.
333
00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:18,704
Dad, that's just a plant.
334
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:21,040
Lisa! You will respect
your new mother.
335
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,124
Now, give her a kiss.
336
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,585
Kiss her!
337
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,881
- My-God! my-God!
- My-God!
338
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,716
All right.
Let's get our stories straight.
339
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,510
She tripped, right?
340
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:36,263
Look. I brought you
some nice pudding.
341
00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:40,517
Your flesh mother
used to bring me pudding.
342
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,561
I miss Marge.
343
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:46,065
Lisa, you're smart.
Help me trick her into taking me back.
344
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,484
Dad, you can't trick somebody
into loving you.
345
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,737
There's a reason two people
come together and stay together.
346
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:52,922
There's something
they give each other
347
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:54,615
that nobody else can give them.
348
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:56,634
If you want to get Mom back,
you just have to remember
349
00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:59,036
what you give her
that nobody else can.
350
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,997
I'll pay you $40
if you think of it for me.
351
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,249
- No.
- Okay. 30.
352
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,628
Good luck, Dad.
353
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:10,047
All right, brain.
It's all up to you.
354
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,133
If you don't think of what it is,
we'll lose Marge forever.
355
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,028
Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding.
Eat the pudding.
356
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,279
Eat the pudding.
Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding.
357
00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,447
Eat the pudding.
Eat the pudding.
358
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,516
Okay, but then
we gotta get to work.
359
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,236
H-hi, Marge.
360
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:34,113
I heard you and Homer broke up,
361
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:37,950
so I'm declarin' my intentions
to move in on his territory.
362
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,536
Here, I, brung ya some posies.
363
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,329
My.
364
00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:46,416
I'm very flattered, but
I'm not really interested.
365
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:50,504
Sheesh. I come here,
I get dressed up all nice-like,
366
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:55,259
put my heart on the line,
and I make a fool of myself.
367
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:58,804
Boy. I'm gonna
start bawlin' here.
368
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,640
Why don't you come inside
for a drink of water?
369
00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:02,975
'Kay.
370
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:10,274
Clean house, no silverfish.
371
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,109
Could've been very happy here.
372
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:14,987
- Homer.
- Moe.
373
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,074
- What are you doin' here?
- I, um... Well, I...
374
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,242
I never touched her, Homer.
375
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:21,427
Homer, I swear,
I never touched her.
376
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:22,995
Here's your water, Moe.
377
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,097
I didn't ask her for no water.
378
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,265
She's lyin', Homer, she's lyin'.
379
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,707
She told me you were dead.
380
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,793
That's the only reason I...
I didn't do nothin'!
381
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,296
Bye, Moe.
382
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:34,381
Homer, what happened to you?
383
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:38,135
Marge, I figured out what
I can give you that no one else can:
384
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:41,805
A bouquet of po...
385
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:45,350
I give up. I don't deserve
to live with you.
386
00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:55,903
My tattered rags
387
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:58,822
are caught on your coffee table.
388
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,325
Here.
Let me help you.
389
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,167
Wait a minute.
Wait, that's it.
390
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:13,212
I know now what I can offer you
that no one else can:
391
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:16,423
Complete and utter dependence.
392
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:18,634
Homer, that's not a good thing.
393
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:22,429
Are you kidding?
It's a wondrous, marvelous thing.
394
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:26,433
Marge, I need you more than
anyone else on this entire planet
395
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:28,393
could possibly ever need you.
396
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,813
I need you to take care of me,
to put up with me
397
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,191
and most of all,
I need you to love me,
398
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:35,859
because I love you.
399
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:40,656
But how do I know
I can trust you?
400
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:43,450
Marge, look at me.
We've been separated for a day,
401
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:45,702
and I'm as dirty as a Frenchman.
402
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,246
In another few hours
I'll be dead.
403
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,957
I can't afford
to lose your trust again.
404
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:08,058
I must admit,
you really do make a gal feel needed.
405
00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,018
Wait till my class
hears about this.
406
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,770
Kidding!
407
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:16,650
It's great to be
indoors with my family.
408
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:18,652
I'm really glad
you're back, Dad.
409
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:20,112
I knew you could do it.
410
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:22,864
Now don't screw it up.
411
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,533
Look, Dad.
I missed you so much,
412
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:27,244
I couldn't concentrate in
school and I got an "F."
413
00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:29,454
Hey, this is dated
two weeks ago.
414
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,873
Sorry.
Here's a fresh one.
415
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:34,584
And I have a special
present for you,
416
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:37,087
but I'll give it
to you later tonight.
417
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,840
Special present? I don't
wanna wait. I want it now!
418
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,009
I want the children to see.
419
00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:44,136
Ooh.
Right.
420
00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:46,847
Later.
421
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:49,433
So, Marge, are you
really happy? Really?
422
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:50,892
Hey, Moe.
423
00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,111
♪♪
424
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:46,073
Shh!
425
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:52,079
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