All language subtitles for The.Simpsons.S05E10.$pringfield.Or.How.I.Learned.to.Stop.Worrying.and.Love.Legalized.Gambling.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-MZABI_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,755 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:16,016 D' 3 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,101 Aah! 4 00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:34,297 The News on Parade Corporation presents... 5 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,542 Bringing you the world of current events! 6 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:50,759 New gadgets! 7 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,929 And Hollywood! 8 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:59,642 Look! It's Amos from radio's Amos and Andy. 9 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,519 Hello, everybody! 10 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,400 It's a proud day as Springfield is declared... 11 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:10,236 one of America's 400 fastest growing cities! 12 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,197 And why not? Business is booming! 13 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,617 Half the country wears Springfield galoshes. 14 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:18,745 And say hello to the state's first Aqua-Car factory. 15 00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:21,456 Keep 'em coming, boys! The city's even 16 00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:24,417 in the celebrity business. Everyone knows Professor "Rubber Mouth" 17 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,461 - hails from Springfield. - Bravo! 18 00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:28,505 Everybody's chipping in. 19 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:32,675 Even this fella has Springfield's can-do spirit! 20 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,804 So, watch out, Utica. 21 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:39,724 Springfield is a city on the grow. 22 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,355 Ha! The way people act around here, 23 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,198 you'd think the streets were paved with gold. 24 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:48,942 They are. 25 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,828 Got any spare change, man? 26 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:02,122 Yes! And you ain't gettin' it! 27 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,542 Everybody wants somethin' for nothin'. 28 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,585 I'm old! Gimme, gimme, gimme! 29 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,965 Hey! 30 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,151 There's something you don't see in a toilet every day. 31 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:17,428 Anybody lose their glasses? 32 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,848 Last chance. Whoo-hoo! 33 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,728 The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle 34 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,623 is equal to the square root of the remaining side. 35 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,983 - That's a right triangle, ya idiot! - D' 36 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:33,653 Thank you so much for visiting our plant, Dr. Kissinger. 37 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,071 It was fun. 38 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,835 We'll let you know if your glasses turn up. 39 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:40,535 Yes. Well, I'm sure I left them in the car. 40 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:43,079 No one must know I dropped them in the toilet. 41 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:47,041 Not I, the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accords. 42 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:50,211 Mm-Hmm. Mmm. 43 00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:56,384 Sir, bad news from accounting. The economy's hit us pretty hard. 44 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:59,846 Tough times? I've lived through 12 recessions, 45 00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:02,432 eight panics and five years of McKinleynomics. 46 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,391 I'll survive this. 47 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:06,186 Even so, sir, we could stand to lay off a few employees. 48 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:10,857 Very well. Lay off... him, him, him, him... 49 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,902 Better keep the egghead. He just might come in handy. 50 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:17,113 Dad, you shouldn't wear glasses that weren't prescribed for you. 51 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,867 Lisa, just because you're 10 feet tall doesn't mean you can tell me what to do. 52 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,494 - I'm Bart. - Give me those. 53 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,663 And finally, Henry Kissinger was hospitalized today 54 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,458 after walking into a wall. 55 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:31,211 Now over to Kent Brockman with some grim economic news. 56 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,379 Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be 57 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,590 down here at the unemployment office. 58 00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:38,468 Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. 59 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,387 Useful people are starting to feel the pinch. 60 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:44,641 I haven't been able to find a job in six years. 61 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,476 And what training do you have? 62 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,646 Five years of modern dance. Six years of tap. 63 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,773 The economic slump began last spring, 64 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:53,733 when the government closed Fort Springfield, 65 00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:57,153 devastating the city's liquor and prostitution industries. 66 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,113 Now, at the risk of being unpopular, 67 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,865 this reporter places the blame 68 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,659 for all this squarely on you, the viewers. 69 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,664 I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury... 70 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,291 to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. 71 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,460 And once elected, I will send for the rest of you. 72 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:15,588 Boo! 73 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:19,008 - Excuse me, Mr. Mayor? - The chair recognizes 74 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,135 the little chick with the gleam of hope in her eyes. 75 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:24,889 This piggy bank contains $15 I saved from my allowance. 76 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:28,518 It isn't much, but I would like to help. 77 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,646 Aw, just what I need to tip the skycaps. 78 00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,856 I'll tell you what made this town great! 79 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,484 Good, old-fashioned gumption! 80 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:39,487 There's nothing here a little elbow grease won't fix! 81 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,698 So let's roll up our sleeves... 82 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,574 and... 83 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,618 People! People! 84 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:46,995 Let's be a little more realistic. 85 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:49,372 Now, I, hesitate to bring this up, 86 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,725 but a number of cities have rejuvenated their economies... 87 00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,960 with, legalized gambling. 88 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,756 There is an added bonus. Some of the revenue... 89 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,175 can go to help our underfunded public schools. 90 00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:08,933 - Well, I like the part about the gambling. - What do you think, Reverend? 91 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:12,687 Once something has been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral. 92 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,647 By building a casino, 93 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,734 I could tighten my stranglehold on this dismal town! 94 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,325 Well, now. Are there any objections? 95 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,744 Probably Marge is gonna have some. 96 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,248 Actually, I think it might really help our economy. 97 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,128 Very well then. Instead of fleeing this town, 98 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:40,381 I'll stay here and grow fat off kickbacks and slush funds. 99 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,556 This could be a whole new beginning for Springfield. 100 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:50,683 And you know what the best part is? 101 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,728 We've really done something for the children. 102 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,285 We're thrilled you've decided 103 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,037 to build your casino on our waterfront. 104 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:15,416 I 'll never forget my carefree boyhood days on this old boardwalk. 105 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,383 Why, you... 106 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,551 Master Burns! I mean, carry on. 107 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,765 Me leg's gone gimpy! Who'll provide for me little ones? 108 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,455 What was I laughing at now? 109 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,376 Yes. That crippled Irishman. 110 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,608 Sir, the designers are here with some prototypes for your casino. 111 00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,884 Gentlemen, I give you Britannia! 112 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,071 Gambling with all the glitz and glamour of the British Isles. 113 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,181 Best of all, the waitresses and showgirls are all real Brits. 114 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,767 Fresh from the streets of Sussex they are! 115 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,644 Freshen your drink, governor? 116 00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:20,022 - Get out. - Okay. All right. Wait... 117 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,150 - Now... Now, dig this, man... - Get out! 118 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,110 Wow. Let me just get my head together. 119 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:26,112 Now! 120 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:29,157 I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. 121 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,368 We'll sail round the Horn and return with spices and silk, 122 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,954 the likes of which ye have never seen. 123 00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:37,999 - We're building a casino! - Arr. 124 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,001 Can you give me five minutes? 125 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:43,504 Idiots. I'll design it myself! I know what people like. 126 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:46,966 It's got to have sex appeal and a catchy name. 127 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,556 Mom, we're having a geography pageant at school, 128 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,725 and I don't know which state to go as. 129 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,978 In honor of legalized gambling, why not go as the state of Nevada? 130 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:01,105 No. Nevada makes my butt look big. 131 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,399 Then how 'bout going as Florida? 132 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,527 You enjoy orange juice. Old people like you. 133 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,612 Dad, what do you think? 134 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:11,032 Shh! I'm trying to teach the baby to gamble. 135 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:13,826 - Why? - I got a job at Burns' casino. 136 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,413 As you know, it's been my lifelong dream to become a blackjack dealer. 137 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,416 Your lifelong dream was to be a contestant on The Gong Show. 138 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,211 And you did it in 1977. Remember? 139 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:27,298 ♪♪ 140 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:35,473 We got more gongs than the break-dancing robot that caught on fire. 141 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,940 Hello. I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. 142 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,025 Welcome to Mr. Burns' casino. 143 00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:48,295 If there's anything I can do to make your visit more enjoyable, 144 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,612 please, just let me know. 145 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:50,863 Yeah, great. See ya! 146 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,573 Don't forget to apply for... 147 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,784 our V.I.P. platinum club for special discounts on... 148 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,370 Hey! I said bug off! 149 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,417 Let's see. Eighteen, 27, 35... 150 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:07,004 Dealer bust! Looks like you all win again. 151 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,048 Yee-Haw! Homer, 152 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,509 I want you to have my lucky hat. 153 00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,511 I wore it the day Kennedy was shot, 154 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:16,013 and it always brings me good luck. 155 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,600 Why, thanks, Senator. Oop! Looks like my shift is over. 156 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,980 Come on, lucky seven! 157 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,399 Papa needs a new pair of spats. 158 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,569 I want some of that sweet, sweet do-re-mi! 159 00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,862 Fat City, here I come! 160 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,990 Please throw the dice now. Please. Now. 161 00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:36,325 Don't rush me! I have arthritis. 162 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,327 Will the gentleman please roll the dice? 163 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,329 All right, all right, smart guy. 164 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,499 For crying out loud, I dropped one. 165 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,501 Now it's in my shoe! 166 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,587 Ooh! 167 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,630 Ooh! Ooh! 168 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:56,095 A round of applause please for Anastasia! 169 00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:58,222 She loves show business. 170 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,641 So much nicer than the savagery of the jungle, ja? 171 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,651 Hey, tiger! Wake up! 172 00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:29,295 Whoo-hoo! Jackpot. 173 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,505 Wait a minute! Are you over 21? 174 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,799 - Are you? - I'm not authorized to answer that. 175 00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:38,429 By the way, your martinis suck! 176 00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:41,140 Yeah? What are you gonna do? Start your own casino, 177 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:43,851 in your tree house and get all your little friends to come? 178 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,479 I'd like to see that! 179 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:50,107 Hi. Yeah, welcome. Have a lucky day! 180 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,193 Well, he certainly showed me. 181 00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:56,322 Hi, Homie! 182 00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:59,450 Hey, Marge, after your big tantrum against legalized gambling, 183 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,161 I bet it feels pretty weird to be in a casino. 184 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:05,581 - I was for the casino! - Strike three, Marge! 185 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,959 I remember that meeting, and I have a photographic memory. 186 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,588 Legalized gambling is a bad idea. 187 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,049 You can build a casino over my dead body. 188 00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:18,344 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 189 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,805 - For you. It's the president. - Y'ello? 190 00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,432 And then I said to the president... Get this... 191 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,643 Marge? Marge? 192 00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,233 I wonder if they have a lost and found. 193 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,152 What the hey! 194 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,591 Hey, how's it goin'? Hey! Good to see you. Tell your friends. 195 00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,219 Lookin' lucky! Hey, what's happenin'? Love the jacket. 196 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:03,889 Behold the box of mystery! 197 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:07,601 The cat goes in... Right here... 198 00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,860 Twenty-one? 199 00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:18,404 Do that card-counting thing again. Come on. Do it again. 200 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,114 Definitely have to leave the table. 201 00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:22,158 No! Please, please, please, please, please. 202 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:25,119 Gotta watch Wapner. Leave the table. Yeah, leave the table. 203 00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:27,621 No! 204 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,720 Sir, you haven't slept since the casino opened five days ago. 205 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:44,930 I've discovered the perfect business. 206 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,933 People swarm in, empty their pockets and scuttle off! 207 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,019 Nothing can stop me now! 208 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,521 Except microscopic germs. 209 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,124 But we won't let that happen, will we, Smithers? 210 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,858 No, sir. 211 00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:14,376 Whoa! A baby on the table! That's good luck! 212 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,878 Yay! 213 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,839 - Snake eyes. Sorry. - Boo! 214 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:24,136 Garsh, it must be excitin' to live in the casino. 215 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:27,681 - Ja. - You know, we are having a party tonight. 216 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:36,106 Whoa, Marge! You gotta watch out. 217 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,026 Your little boy Bart could have been eaten by that pony! 218 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,529 My God! Barney, thank you. 219 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,614 I would never have forgiven myself. 220 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,908 Now, you stay put, young lady. 221 00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,371 Man, that's classic compulsive behavior. 222 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:53,290 Wow! Free beer! 223 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,209 Buddy, those are my quarters! 224 00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:57,586 Hey, this guy's paying off! 225 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:09,765 I don't wanna hit a sore spot, but can we talk about herpes? 226 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,851 ♪ Herpes, herpes bo-berpes ♪ 227 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:15,437 ♪ Banana-fana, fo-ferpes herpes, ♪ 228 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,773 Hey, that spot on Gorbachev's head... 229 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,234 Herpes! Trust me. 230 00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:24,029 Anybody here have herpes? 231 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,949 You people are the worst audience I've ever seen. 232 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,034 Well, you're the worst comedian we've ever seen! 233 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:32,663 Great! Well, we'll just sit here silently for the next 90 minutes. 234 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,915 Fine with us. 235 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:42,965 They're all covered with filthy germs! Aren't they, Smithers? 236 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,174 Why, what do you mean, sir? 237 00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:49,221 - Freemasons run the country! - Ew! 238 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,020 Marge, you waited for me! 239 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,232 - Okay, Marge. Let's go. - I'll catch up to you. 240 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,776 - Marge, I'm taking the car. - I'll walk. 241 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,779 - This late? Through the bad neighborhood? - Yeah. 242 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,324 - Marge... - Go home! You're bad luck! 243 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:12,453 Wait! I see what's happening here. 244 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:17,499 You're just mad because everyone in this town loves gambling except for you! 245 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:21,337 Well, that's just sad. 246 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,221 - Um... - What? 247 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,366 Excuse me, ma'am. Don't you think you've gambled enough? 248 00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:34,308 No! 249 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:38,854 Okay. We're required by law to ask every 75 hours. Get her another free drink. 250 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,125 Do you get the feeling this family is disintegrating? 251 00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:44,526 I mean, we haven't had a meal with Mom all week. 252 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,963 And she hasn't even started my costume for the geography pageant. 253 00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:49,698 Pipe down, sister! I gotta book a new act for tonight. 254 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,826 Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was really Liza Minnelli. 255 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:58,332 - There's nothing to eat for breakfast! - You gotta improvise, Lisa. 256 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:02,795 Cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust... 257 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:05,172 Maybe Mom just doesn't realize we miss her. 258 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,383 We could go down to the casino and let her know. 259 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,635 Aw, come on, Lisa. There's no reason to... 260 00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,931 Let's go see Mom. 261 00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:18,769 Marge, we need to talk. 262 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,121 You're spending too much time at the casino, 263 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,563 and I think you may have a problem. 264 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,565 I won $60 last night. 265 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,026 Whoo-hoo! Problem solved! 266 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,946 Smithers, I've designed a new plane. 267 00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:32,157 I call it the Spruce Moose, and it will carry 200 passengers... 268 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:37,121 from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in 17 minutes! 269 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,957 - That's quite a nice model, sir. - Model? 270 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,627 - Mom! - What? Lisa, what's up? 271 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,505 - I just had a bad dream. - Sure. 272 00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:48,966 You just lie down and tell me all about it. 273 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,926 Well, I know it's absurd, 274 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,029 but I dreamed the bogeyman was after me, and he's hiding... 275 00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:54,972 Bogeyman! 276 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,182 You nail the windows shut. I'll get the gun. 277 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,977 Bart, I don't want to alarm you, 278 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,855 but there may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house. 279 00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:17,619 - What happened here? - Nothing, Marge. Just a little incident 280 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,747 involving the bogeyman! 281 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,016 None of this would have happened 282 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,792 if you had been here to keep me from acting stupid! 283 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:27,546 I'm sorry. I have been spending too much time at the casino. 284 00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,548 I'll be around more from now on. 285 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,009 Does this mean you'll help me with my costume? 286 00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:35,095 Sure, honey. I promise. 287 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,598 Thanks, Mom. 288 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:40,225 Aw, just like on TV. 289 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,150 Hi. You from the casino? 290 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,277 - I'm from a casino. - Good enough. Let's go. 291 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:57,159 I'm afraid Robert Goulet hasn't arrived yet, sir. 292 00:17:57,242 --> 00:18:00,370 Very well. Begin the thawing of Jim Nabors. 293 00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,919 Are you sure this is the casino? 294 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:09,046 I think I should call my manager. 295 00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:11,590 Your manager says for you to shut up! 296 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,592 Vera said that? 297 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:19,681 Dad! Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume. 298 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,518 And she's not! And the geography pageant is tonight! 299 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,062 Lisa, your mom still loves you. 300 00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:28,899 It's just that she has a career now. She's a slot jockey. 301 00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:32,402 But, Dad, if I don't show up in a rubber suit shaped like the state of Florida, 302 00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:35,239 I'll be the laughingstock of the whole school. 303 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,324 It's always something, isn't it? 304 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,285 First I have to drive your pregnant mother to the hospital... 305 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,538 so she can give birth to you, and now this! 306 00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:53,632 - Dad! - Yeah. The costume. 307 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,510 Hello, "Floreda"! 308 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,221 I'm not a state! 309 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,974 I'm a monster! 310 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,770 No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster... 311 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,897 that has enslaved your mother! 312 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,983 I call him Gamblor! 313 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:14,528 And it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws! 314 00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:18,282 Marge! Where are you? 315 00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,200 Damn this casino! 316 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:27,666 Double stars! Everybody wins! 317 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,170 Hey! 318 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:35,215 Seven. Lucky seven! 319 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:39,136 - Yeah... Ooh! - He can't talk now. 320 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,016 Marge? 321 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:46,310 - Hey! - Smithers, 322 00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:49,188 I don't want that unpredictable lunatic working in my casino. 323 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,523 Fine. We'll transfer him to the nuclear plant, sir. 324 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,693 My beloved plant. How I miss her. 325 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,737 Bah! To hell with this! 326 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,947 Get my razor! Draw a bath! 327 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,576 - And get these Kleenex boxes off my feet! - Certainly, sir. 328 00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:06,330 - And, the jars of urine? - We'll hang on to those. 329 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:09,124 Now, to the plant! We'll take the Spruce Moose! 330 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,335 - Hop in! - But, sir... 331 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:14,129 I said hop in. 332 00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,347 Homer, what is it? Slow down. 333 00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:26,600 Yer getta ferda redda oura. 334 00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:28,602 Think before you say each word. 335 00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:32,314 - You broke a promise to your child. - What? 336 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:36,318 You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. 337 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:39,446 You made her cry. Then I cried. 338 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:43,242 Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trouper. 339 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:46,328 Lisa's costume! 340 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:51,166 Homer, I didn't realize. I'm so sorry. 341 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:55,295 Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem. 342 00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:58,131 You know, you're right, Homer. 343 00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:00,467 Maybe I should get some professional help. 344 00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:03,011 No, no! That's too expensive. Just don't do it anymore. 345 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,388 ♪♪ 346 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:06,390 ♪ Jingle bells Batman smells ♪ 347 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:08,600 ♪ Robin laid an egg ♪ 348 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:12,396 ♪ Batmobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away, hey ♪ 349 00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:14,523 Thank you! Thank you very much. 350 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,483 I'm sorry, kid. 351 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:19,361 And special awards go to the two students... 352 00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:21,405 who obviously had no help from their parents: 353 00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:24,700 Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum. 354 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:27,244 - I'm Idaho! - Yes, of course you are. 355 00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:30,372 You know, Marge, for the first time in our marriage, 356 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:33,166 I can finally look down my nose at you. 357 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,252 You have a gambling problem! 358 00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:37,754 That's true. Will you forgive me? 359 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:40,007 Sure! 360 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:42,485 Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? 361 00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:43,969 Well, that's nothing, 362 00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:46,555 because you have a gambling problem! 363 00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:48,998 And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house... 364 00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:50,976 'cause he was dressed like Santa Claus? 365 00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:54,104 Well, you have a gambling problem! 366 00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:57,441 Homer, when you forgive someone, you can't throw it back at them like that. 367 00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,234 Aw, what a gyp. 368 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:01,361 Remember when I... 369 00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:03,322 - Homer! - Yeah. I forgot already. 370 00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:11,830 ♪♪ 371 00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:02,547 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC. 29026

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.