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♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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D'
3
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Aah!
4
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:57,390
Children,
we've just been tipped off
5
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,725
that Superintendent Chalmers
6
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,518
is planning
a surprise inspection.
7
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So let's clean up this pigsty.
8
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,357
Wha!
9
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On another topic,
the following students
10
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,488
have won mountain bikes:
11
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:12,947
Bart Simpson,
12
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,532
Jimbo Jones,
13
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,409
Nelson Muntz.
14
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,411
I want you to keep filling
your shirt with crud
15
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till I get back.
16
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Yes, sir.
17
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You may pick your bikes up
in utility basement B.
18
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Fools.
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Oops.
20
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Still on.
21
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Hey, what do you think he meant
22
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,395
by that "fools" remark?
23
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Who cares?
Time to get me a mountain bike.
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Hey, what gives?
25
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Where are the mountain bikes?
26
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Sorry about the ruse, gentlemen.
27
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You're being swept under the rug
28
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,264
for the superintendent's visit.
29
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,873
Enjoy.
30
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,001
How are we going
to get out of here?
31
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,921
And when are we going
to get our mountain bikes?
32
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Would the world judge me harshly
33
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if I threw away the key?
34
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No, but the P.T.A
would tear you a new arse.
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00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,428
Wise counsel, William,
36
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:18,656
but the potty talk adds nothing.
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Aye, sir.
38
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,809
You bath-taking,
underpants-wearing, lily-hugger.
39
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,152
Superintendent Chalmers,
welcome.
40
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,528
Hello, Seymour.
41
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,114
So, what's the word down
at 1 School Board Plaza?
42
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,675
We're dropping
the geography requirement.
43
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,325
The children
weren't testing well.
44
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It was proving to be
an embarrassment.
45
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,413
Very good.
Back to the three "r's."
46
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,831
Two "r's" come October.
47
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,476
What do you think
of the banners?
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Nothing but
transparent toadying.
49
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They were the children's idea.
I tried to stop them.
50
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,882
It's always
the children's fault,
51
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:55,091
isn't it, Seymour?
52
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,427
Yes. Yes, it is, sir.
53
00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:01,264
Imagine a school out there
with no bullies.
54
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,766
Science geeks
not getting beat up.
55
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,686
Kids using their
lunch money for food.
56
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,104
I can't take it!
57
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:11,065
Ooh! Ooh!
58
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,278
Hey, I think I can squeeze
through that vent.
59
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All right.
60
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:17,989
All right, Bart.
Do it, man.
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00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,582
Now, remember, little dude,
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00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:30,168
you're our only hope.
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00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,546
Got him!
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00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,341
- Way to go, man!
- Ha-ha!
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00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:38,551
May I interest you
in a Jell-O brick, sir?
66
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:39,886
There's a grape in the center.
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00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,846
Well, I'm not made of stone.
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00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:44,974
You're not made of stone.
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00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:49,312
A brick, and you're
not made of... stone.
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00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,731
My beauty.
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00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:54,400
Wait till the
superintendent sees you.
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00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,778
Were it not a violation
of God's law,
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00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:59,113
I'd make you my wife.
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00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,407
Now there's a lonely man.
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00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,374
I'm new in town.
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00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:10,792
Be there a cool loch
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00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:14,087
where a lass could
wash her long red hair?
78
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:17,173
Nay, but there's a pool
at me apartment complex.
79
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,342
There was a rat in the deep end
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00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,425
but we got him.
81
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,178
Lead on.
82
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,224
48... 49...
83
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,392
50.
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Flag's up to date.
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00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,395
Very good, Seymour.
86
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:32,647
Now, are these children
as smart as they look?
87
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,524
Well, let's pick one at random.
88
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,943
How about that one?
89
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,153
- You mean this boy here?
- No! No, Lisa Simpson.
90
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,030
When was the Battle
of New Orleans?
91
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:45,827
January 8, 1815,
two weeks after the war ended.
92
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,036
First-rate.
93
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,371
What's a battle?
94
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,206
Let's go.
95
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,874
Did that boy say
"What's a battle?"
96
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,376
No. He said
"What's that rattle?"
97
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:54,377
It's about the heating ducts.
98
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,838
It sounded like "battle."
99
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,381
I've had a cold.
100
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,174
So you hear "r's" as "b's"?
101
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,384
Yes.
102
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,467
I understand.
103
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,436
Come on, Bart.
104
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:12,979
Ride me.
105
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,857
I better not.
106
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:20,945
He's insulting both of us.
107
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,198
Let's go.
108
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,298
Excellent.
Not a trace of urine.
109
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,008
Seymour, you run a tight ship.
110
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,593
Well, you know
what they say, sir,
111
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,012
where there's no smoke,
there's no fire.
112
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,388
What an odd remark.
113
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,349
Why, that looks
like a 50¢ piece.
114
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,225
I'll just bend over and get it.
115
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,772
It seems to be caught...
116
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,315
between these two flowers.
117
00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:58,399
Aah!
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00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,818
No!
119
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,156
Seymour, I was thinking
of promoting you
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00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:06,741
to assistant superintendent,
121
00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:09,827
but instead, that plum
goes to Holloway.
122
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,245
But, sir, he's a drunk.
123
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,164
- And a pill-popper.
- If I could just...
124
00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:14,123
Silence!
125
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,958
And why is a cafeteria worker
126
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,126
posing as a nurse?
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00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,504
I get two paychecks this way.
128
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:20,587
D'
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00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,883
There's no detention
this time, Simpson.
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00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:25,885
This is the end.
131
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:30,723
You are expelled
from Springfield Elementary.
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00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,688
Aw...
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00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,025
Tonight, on Eye on Springfield:
134
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,194
The munchkins
from "The Wizard of Oz."
135
00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:45,029
Where are they now?
136
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,449
And, we'll visit
a nudist camp...
137
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,243
for animals.
138
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,953
But first, a look
at the local holiday
139
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,705
that was called
distasteful and puerile
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00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,707
by a panel of hillbillies...
141
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,584
Whacking Day.
142
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,670
No! No!
143
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,880
In a tradition that dates
back to founding father
144
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,132
Jebediah Springfield,
145
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,092
every May 10th,
local residents gather
146
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:08,386
to drive snakes
into the center of town
147
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,555
and whack them to snake heaven.
148
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,646
After exposing Alger Hiss,
149
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,898
honorary grand marshal
Richard Nixon
150
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,400
goes after another deadly hiss.
151
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,199
Is-is Whacking Day over?
152
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:33,870
Thank you.
153
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,663
Thanks for coming out.
154
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,207
It's all so barbaric.
155
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,418
Hey, kids, how was school?
156
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:42,587
I learned how many drams
in a pennyweight.
157
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:43,754
I got expelled.
158
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:44,964
That's my boy.
159
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,633
Beer.
160
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:48,968
What?!
161
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,720
Look, Dad, I don't need school.
162
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,638
I'll make my way as a bootblack.
163
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:53,973
Shine your boots, guv'nor?
164
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,558
No son of mine is gonna be
165
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,602
a 19th century
cockney bootblack.
166
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,854
We're gonna find
you another school.
167
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,653
Now, remember, Bart,
this is a religious school.
168
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,031
So be very careful about
what you say and do here.
169
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:11,324
No problemo.
170
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,576
Now, Bart,
since you're new here,
171
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,120
perhaps you'd favor us
with a Psalm.
172
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:20,166
How about... "Beans, Beans,
the Musical Fruit?"
173
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:22,877
Well, beans were a staple
of the Israelites.
174
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,086
Yes, proceed.
175
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,715
"Beans, beans, the musical fruit
176
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,425
the more you eat,
the more you toot."
177
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,974
Avert your eyes, children!
178
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,935
He may take on other forms!
179
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,688
I guess that's it.
180
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,065
I just can't be educated.
181
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,527
I can always get a job
182
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:50,738
testing dangerous
food additives.
183
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:53,241
We'd like you to try
this new diet cola.
184
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,076
We call it Nature's Goodness.
185
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:57,703
- What's in it?
- 2-4-desoxyprophenuramine.
186
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,840
Sweet.
187
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,260
Pleasing taste, some monsterism.
188
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,304
Cool.
189
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,139
You're going to get
an education.
190
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,267
I'm going to teach you myself.
191
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,560
Marge, it's too late.
192
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,228
The boy is ten years old.
193
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:25,565
Let's focus our energy
on Lisa and the other one.
194
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,899
What's your problem?
195
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,318
- Whacking Day is coming.
- Whoo-hoo!
196
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,237
The greatest day of the year.
197
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,322
But killing snakes is evil.
198
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,074
Maybe so, Lisa,
199
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:37,827
but it's part of our,
so human nature.
200
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,496
Inside every man is a struggle
between good and evil
201
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,248
that cannot be resolved.
202
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:47,753
♪ I am evil Homer,
I am evil Homer ♪
203
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:51,465
♪ I am evil Homer
I am evil Homer... ♪
204
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,097
Have a nice day at school, Lis.
205
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:00,683
I'll just try and make
the best of a bad situation.
206
00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:06,939
Bart, get dressed for school.
207
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,063
I expect you to be in your
seat when the bell rings.
208
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,779
I bought a bell.
209
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,040
I think I'll unplug that.
210
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,252
I'm your new teacher.
211
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:31,380
My name is Mrs. Simpson.
212
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:49,190
I didn't do it.
213
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:54,945
That's right.
214
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,869
I invited a guest speaker
to talk to the class.
215
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,950
Hello, children.
216
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,827
I got separated from my platoon
217
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:04,497
after we parachuted
into Dusseldorf.
218
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,336
So I rode out the war
219
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:13,798
posing as a German
cabaret singer.
220
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:17,385
♪ Won't you come home,
Franz Brauder? ♪
221
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:20,137
♪ Won't you come home? ♪
222
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,555
Yoo-hoo!
223
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:31,399
Ach, du lieber!
Das ist not eine booby!
224
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,484
Is that story true, Grampa?
225
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:34,902
Well, most of it.
226
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,780
I did wear a dress
for a period in the '40s.
227
00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:40,032
They had designers then.
228
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:47,081
Look what I got, Marge.
229
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,042
A new whacking stick.
230
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,252
Whack!
231
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,253
Ooh!
232
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:54,046
Excuse me.
233
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,673
Whack, whack, whack!
234
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,675
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
235
00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,844
Bart, I'd like you
to read this copy
236
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:01,429
of "Johnny Tremain."
237
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,888
It's a book I read as a girl.
238
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,473
A book?
239
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:05,975
I think you might like this.
240
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:08,477
It's about a boy
who goes to war.
241
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,396
His hand is deformed
in an accident.
242
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:11,355
Deformed?
243
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,898
Why didn't you say so?
244
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,901
They should call this book
"Johnny Deformed".
245
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,404
♪ Fight, fight, fight,
fight, fight, fight ♪
246
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,323
♪ The Itchy
and Scratchy show ♪
247
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,625
- God!
- Get his gun!
248
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:34,044
♪ The Itchy
and Scratchy show ♪
249
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,588
"hundreds would die
250
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,506
"but not the thing
they died for.
251
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,884
A man can stand up."
252
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,553
Wow.
253
00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:44,680
If you'd like to learn more
254
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:48,476
about colonial times, we could take
a field trip to Olde Springfield Towne.
255
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:53,730
D'
256
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:12,541
- Dad.
- Wha!
257
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,918
Dad!
258
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,629
Everyone likes Whacking Day,
but I hate it.
259
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,672
Is there something wrong
with me?
260
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,216
Yes, honey.
261
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,717
Then what should I do?
262
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,595
Just squeeze your rage
into a bitter little ball
263
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:27,264
and release it at
an appropriate time.
264
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,641
Like that day I hit the referee
265
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:30,142
with a whiskey bottle.
266
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,352
- Remember that?
- Yeah.
267
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,187
When daddy hit the referee?
268
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,270
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
269
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:41,402
Any experience?
270
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,531
Yes. I played
Panicky Idiot ♪2
271
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,491
in "The Poseidon Adventure".
272
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:49,578
Sorry, we're looking
for more of a "duh, duh" idiot.
273
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,581
But... No, I see.
274
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,042
Hello, Barney.
275
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:56,919
Are you playing the town drunk?
276
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,380
Actually, I'm supposed
to be the governor.
277
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,341
The enemy surrounded the fort,
278
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,802
and said that if
the captain was sent out,
279
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,679
the rest would be spared.
280
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,889
- What did they do?
- They sent him out.
281
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,516
- Was he killed?
- And how!
282
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:14,144
That's why they call it
Fort Sensible.
283
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:19,400
This is Jebediah Springfield
at the Battle of Ticonderoga.
284
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:20,359
Next.
285
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:22,695
And here he is killing a snake
286
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:26,073
on the very first
Whacking Day in 1775.
287
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,742
Hey, wait a minute.
288
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,453
That was the same day
he was at Ticonderoga.
289
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,831
How could he be in
two places at once?
290
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,083
Um...
291
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,166
you see...
292
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,839
He'll blow the whole deal.
293
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:42,715
Get him out of here.
294
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,550
Roger.
295
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,803
If you want to learn
more about Whacking Day,
296
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,014
there are many fine books
in our gift shop.
297
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:53,267
Welcome to your official
Whacking Day headquarters.
298
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:56,061
I've hidden a snake
somewhere in the store.
299
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:59,356
The first one to whack it
gets a free Squishee.
300
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,150
I got it.
301
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,651
No. That's a licorice whip.
302
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,361
Over here near the beer.
303
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,156
- Hey, hey!
- Aah!
304
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,617
I should have put
more thought into my promotion.
305
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,076
Aim for the body, men.
306
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,203
Right, chief.
307
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,082
And the Lord said
308
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:20,210
"Whack ye all the serpents
which crawl on their bellies
309
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,087
"and thy town shall be
310
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,548
a beacon unto others."
311
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,260
So you see, Lisa,
even God himself
312
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,137
endorses Whacking Day.
313
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,472
Let me see that.
314
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:32,932
No.
315
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,647
♪ O Whacking Day ♪
316
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,857
♪ O Whacking Day ♪
317
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:46,528
♪ Our hallowed
snake skull-cracking day ♪
318
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,949
♪ We'll break their backs,
gouge out their eyes ♪
319
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:54,119
♪ Their evil hearts,
we'll pulverize ♪
320
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:58,624
♪ O Whacking Day,
O Whacking Day ♪
321
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:04,546
♪ May God bestow
His grace on thee ♪
322
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,173
Here you go.
323
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,442
Official Whacking Day parking.
324
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,843
Ten dollars per axle.
325
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,057
Woo-hoo!
326
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,642
Hooray!
327
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,312
Take that, snake.
328
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,855
And you too.
329
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,524
Snakes! Snakes everywhere!
330
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,609
Getting ready for Whacking Day?
331
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,277
What's Whacking Day?
332
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,744
Did you bring
the pre-whacked snakes?
333
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:39,039
Beautiful.
334
00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:46,380
Well, Marge,
should I whack slow or fast?
335
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:49,717
Slow, then fast.
336
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,178
Dad, please,
337
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,015
for the last time, I beg you,
338
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:59,143
don't lower yourself
to the level of the mob.
339
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:02,021
Lisa, maybe
if I'm part of that mob,
340
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,481
I can help steer it
in wise directions.
341
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:07,401
Now, where's my giant foam
cowboy hat and air horn?
342
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:15,576
And now to open
this year's festivities,
343
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:17,411
here's our Grand Marshall
344
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:20,164
the prophet of love,
Larry White.
345
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,623
Barry White.
346
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,167
No, it says here Larry White.
347
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,668
I know my own name.
348
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,587
Yeah? Well, we'll see.
349
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:32,342
Ladies and gentlemen,
my unlimited love to y'all.
350
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:35,846
It's truly an honor
to be here at this...
351
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:38,348
Hey, what is this
all about anyway?
352
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,518
God, no.
353
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,520
You people make me sick.
354
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:47,274
Were they even listening to me?
355
00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:49,068
I, don't think so.
356
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:53,614
And now, let's hear it
for our own Miss Springfield.
357
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:56,533
Gentlemen, start your whacking.
358
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:11,714
D'
359
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,180
Eww! A bug!
360
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,437
If the snakes were in here,
361
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,855
we could protect them.
362
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,649
Well, according to this,
363
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:31,860
snakes hear by sensing
vibrations in the ground,
364
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,863
so if we put our
stereo speakers on the ground
365
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,573
and play something
with a lot of bass,
366
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:39,785
those snakes will be in here
like Oprah on a baked ham.
367
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,287
Good idea. Let's see.
368
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,039
Bass, bass...
369
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,708
"Tiny Tim",
"The Chipmunks Greatest Hits",
370
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:47,793
"A Castrato Christmas."
371
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,755
♪ Can't get enough
of your love, babe ♪
372
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:56,426
Mr. White, can we
borrow you for a minute?
373
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,971
Anything...
for a lady.
374
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,183
♪ Don't bother the snakes ♪
375
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,978
♪ Leave all the snakes ♪
376
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,061
♪ Alone ♪
377
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,400
♪ Yeah ♪
378
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:12,901
♪ whoa, babe ♪
379
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:17,238
♪ Come here ♪
380
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:21,827
♪ My darling, I... ♪
381
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:26,415
♪ Can't get enough
of your love, babe ♪
382
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:30,669
♪ Girl, I don't know,
I don't know why ♪
383
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:33,964
♪ Can't get enough
of your love, babe ♪
384
00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:38,760
♪ Some things
I can't get used to ♪
385
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,513
♪ No matter how I try ♪
386
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:48,562
♪ It's like the more you
give, the more I want ♪
387
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:51,106
♪ And, baby, that's no... ♪
388
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,108
♪ That's no lie ♪
389
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,694
♪ Tell me, what can I say? ♪
390
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,029
In here!
391
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,697
♪ What am I gonna do? ♪
392
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,532
♪ How should
I feel when... ♪
393
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,497
Hey, where did
all the snakes go?
394
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:18,050
People of Springfield,
Whacking Day is a sham!
395
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:19,593
It was started in 1924
396
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,637
as an excuse
to beat up the Irish.
397
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,598
'Tis true.
I took many a lump,
398
00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:26,433
but 'twas all in good fun.
399
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:27,684
Now wait a minute!
400
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,770
How can you people
turn on snakes
401
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,605
after all they've done for you?
402
00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:32,898
I'm an old man.
403
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,691
I hate everything but Matlock.
404
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,276
Ooh, it's on now.
405
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,696
Mrs. Glick, who killed
all those rats in your basement?
406
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,114
Snake did.
407
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,866
You like snakes,
don't you, Barry White?
408
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:46,620
I love the sexy slither
of a lady snake.
409
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:48,455
Baby.
410
00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:49,957
Hooray for snakes!
411
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,792
Hooray for snakes!
412
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,544
Look at this, everyone,
12 dead snakes.
413
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,548
I'm sick of you people.
414
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,634
You're nothing but a pack
of fickle mush-heads.
415
00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:02,052
He's right.
416
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,637
Give us hell, Quimby!
417
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:08,225
♪ Born free ♪
418
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:12,813
♪ As free as the wind blows ♪
419
00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:16,984
♪ As free
as the grass grows... ♪
420
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,485
Bart, I'm very impressed
421
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:20,421
at the independent learning
you've displayed here.
422
00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:22,072
Thanks, Seymour.
423
00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:23,365
Yes.
424
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:25,200
Um, anyway, as a reward
for your studying,
425
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,786
I've decided to welcome you
back to our school.
426
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:31,957
You'll be reunited with
your chums, Nelson, Jimbo, D...
427
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,333
Dear God!
428
00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:35,460
I guess I've always
used violence
429
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,212
as a way of getting attention.
430
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,923
Yes, yes, me too.
431
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,595
Faster, Willie, faster.
432
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,889
Now we give them the bikes,
no one sues.
433
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,102
What if they're dead, sir?
434
00:21:52,185 --> 00:21:55,105
Then we ride these bikes
to Mexico and freedom, Willie!
435
00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:56,189
Freedom!
436
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:57,566
Freedom.
437
00:21:57,649 --> 00:22:00,235
Yeah, I'll turn you in
at the first toll booth.
438
00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:11,747
♪♪
439
00:22:54,581 --> 00:22:55,581
Shh.
440
00:22:59,002 --> 00:23:01,838
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
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