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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
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00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734
Aah!
4
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:28,171
Another beautiful day
in the womb.
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00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:31,341
♪♪
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00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:42,936
Let go! Let go!
7
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I'm all naked and wet!
8
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Get up, Homer.
It's time for church.
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I don't want to go.
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It's church.
You have to go.
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Too cold out.
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I'm tired of having this argument
every Sunday. Get dressed.
13
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Stupid, itchy church pants.
14
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:06,000
One size fits all, my butt.
15
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,836
Come on.
We're going to be late.
16
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,799
Forget it. I'm not going.
17
00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,478
Hey, where's Homer?
18
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,564
Your father's... resting.
19
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Resting hung over,
resting got fired?
20
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:31,151
Help me out here.
21
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:34,779
I'm just a big,
toasty cinnamon bun.
22
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,782
I never want to leave this bed.
23
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:41,035
Got to take a whiz.
24
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Think, man, think.
25
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Think, think, think.
26
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,667
I better get up.
27
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:53,006
I'm whizzing with the door open,
and I love it.
28
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:59,762
♪ Why, why, Delilah? ♪
29
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,809
It's 11 KBBL degrees below zero.
30
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I hope you're someplace warm.
31
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You bet your sweet...
32
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ass!
33
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,822
I'm afraid our furnace
isn't working.
34
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Yeah, what's the story?
35
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,411
But let's just put it
out of our minds
36
00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:26,372
and turn to the lamentations
of Jeremiah...
37
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,624
long version.
38
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:30,585
"Joy is gone from our hearts.
39
00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:33,004
Our dancing
has turned to mourning."
40
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,594
♪♪
41
00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:43,556
♪ Who wears short shorts? ♪
42
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,643
♪ I wear short shorts ♪
43
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:52,065
The perfect chance to make
my patented space-age
44
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out-of-this-world moon waffles.
45
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,653
Let's see here.
46
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,238
Caramels...
47
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,156
waffle batter...
48
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,492
liquid smoke...
49
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:07,914
Ooh... waffle runoff.
50
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Fattening.
51
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:23,638
And he was cast into
the fiery cauldron of Hell.
52
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The searing heat,
53
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,144
the scalding rivers
of molten sulfur.
54
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I'm there.
55
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,194
Here, boy.
56
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,910
Okay, okay, okay, okay!
57
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The service is ended.
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Go in peace.
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00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,708
♪♪
60
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:57,255
The door's frozen shut...
and it's the only way out!
61
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,800
Our Father who art in heaven...
62
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:02,844
Lisa, this is neither
the time nor the place.
63
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,846
That was Johnny Calhoun with
64
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,265
"Gonna Find Me a Genie
with a Magic Bikini."
65
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,468
Of course Johnny's
next record was a spoken-word album
66
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:10,703
of his right-wing
political views.
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00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,061
It kinda killed his career.
68
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,539
If you can tell me
the name of that album
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00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,581
call our contest line now.
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I know that!
71
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,282
Hello, this is Homer Simpson.
72
00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:26,075
Homer, can you name that title?
73
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,454
"This Things I Believe."
74
00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,664
Can we accept that?
75
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:32,748
Whoo-hoo!
76
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:36,878
How's that door coming, Willie?
77
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,589
Miracles are
your department, Reverend.
78
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,132
While we're waiting,
79
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,926
why don't I read
from the Sunday bulletin?
80
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,511
"Card table for sale.
81
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,222
"Top badly damaged,
leg missing, otherwise fine.
82
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,433
One dollar or best offer."
83
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:54,062
You must be
the three chiropractors I sent for.
84
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:56,314
Now, start manipulating
my spine.
85
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:58,397
Hey, Moe, we don't know
nothing about manipulating.
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You heard the lady.
Grab her spine and get cracking.
87
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,322
Moe is their leader.
88
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:05,865
- Why you...
- Hey!
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Huzzah!
90
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:14,374
Please, please,
Christians, don't push.
91
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,000
Excuse me.
Pardon me. Whoa!
92
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,169
Coming through. How ya doin'?
Love that hat, baby.
93
00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:21,714
Come on, TV, give me
some of that sweet, sweet pep.
94
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,592
Let's define our terms,
gentlemen.
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00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,177
Are we talking
about redistricting
96
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,970
or are we talking
about reapportionment?
97
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,306
Well. Can't win them all.
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00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,934
We interrupt this
public affairs program
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to bring you a football game.
100
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Yes!
101
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Give it a little more gas.
102
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,158
No, no, that's too much.
103
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,535
Know what I think would help?
104
00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:51,619
What?! What would help?!
105
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,746
Nothing.
106
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:58,376
A 98-yard
triple reverse ties the score at 63-63.
107
00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:01,379
We have seen nothing but
razzle-dazzle here today.
108
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,173
Three visits from Morgana,
the Kissing Bandit
109
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,551
and the astonishing return
of Jim Brown.
110
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,344
Whoo-hoo!
111
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,097
Is that what I think it is?
112
00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:20,731
I found a penny!
113
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,443
Could this be
the best day of my life?
114
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,244
Looks like
we have a new champion.
115
00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,747
My beloved family.
116
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:37,999
How was church?
117
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,879
I, on the other hand,
118
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,273
have been having
the best day of my life,
119
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and I owe it all
to skipping church.
120
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,551
That's a terrible thing to say.
121
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Kids, your father
doesn't really mean that.
122
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Like fun, I don't.
123
00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:55,308
Marge, I'm never going
to church again.
124
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:58,769
Homer, are you actually
giving up your faith?
125
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No! No, no, no, no, no, no.
126
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,691
Well, yes.
127
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:12,116
I can't believe
you're giving up church, Homer.
128
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,784
Hey, what's the big deal
129
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,953
about going to some building
every Sunday?
130
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,181
I mean, isn't God everywhere?
131
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,372
Amen, brother.
132
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:19,725
And don't you think that
the Almighty
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00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,250
has better things to worry about
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00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,960
than where one little guy
135
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,504
spends one measly hour
of his week?
136
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:25,963
Tell it, Daddy.
137
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,090
And what if we picked
the wrong religion?
138
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,343
Every week we're just
making God madder and madder.
139
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,845
Testify!
140
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,725
Lord, my husband
is by no means perfect
141
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,685
but he's a kind, decent man.
142
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,396
Please show him
the error of his ways.
143
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,357
Marge, come to bed.
144
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,734
No, Homer.
145
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:49,320
He doesn't mean
to be sacrilegious, Lord.
146
00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,864
He just likes
to sleep in on Sundays.
147
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:52,949
Marge...
148
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:56,494
come to bed, Marge.
149
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,955
Lord, he's not a bad person,
Lord, really.
150
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,414
He just sometimes...
151
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,124
It's good for what ails you.
152
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,585
He doesn't mean any harm.
153
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,796
I can wait all...
154
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,933
Ooh!
155
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:30,778
God?
156
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:34,365
Thou hast forsaken my church!
157
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:36,617
Well, kind of...
but...
158
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:37,868
But what?
159
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,745
I'm not a bad guy.
160
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,998
I work hard and I love my kids
161
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,000
so why should I spend
half my Sunday
162
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,168
hearing about
how I'm going to hell?
163
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,381
You've got a point there.
164
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:51,716
You know, sometimes
165
00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:54,093
even I'd rather
be watching football.
166
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:56,971
Does St. Louis
still have a team?
167
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:58,054
No. They moved
to Phoenix.
168
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,473
Yeah.
169
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:02,143
You know what I really hate
about church?
170
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:03,769
Those boring sermons.
171
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,397
I couldn't agree more.
172
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,317
That Reverend Lovejoy
really displeases me.
173
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,819
I think I'll give him
a canker sore.
174
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:13,237
Give him one for me.
175
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,697
I will.
176
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,742
So I figure I should
just try to live right
177
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,827
and worship you in my own way.
178
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,871
Homer, it's a deal.
179
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:23,414
Now, if you'll excuse me
180
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:27,335
I have to appear in a tortilla
in Mexico.
181
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,543
Dad, can I ask you a question?
182
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:37,887
Sure, honey.
183
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,806
Why are you dedicating
your life to blasphemy?
184
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,433
Don't worry, sweetheart.
185
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:45,645
If I'm wrong,
I'll recant on my deathbed.
186
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,731
Hello, my animal friends.
187
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,274
Peace be with you.
188
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:54,487
Guys, please,
could you give me five minutes?
189
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,155
Reverend Lovejoy
190
00:10:56,238 --> 00:10:59,116
I had an ulterior motive
in inviting you to dinner.
191
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,078
- What?!
- No, it's nothing bad.
192
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,829
I'm just concerned
because my husband
193
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,290
hasn't been attending
your services lately.
194
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,584
Well, I wasn't sure
I was doing the right thing
195
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,545
but then God himself told me
I should seek a new path.
196
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,589
- Really?
- Yeah.
197
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,007
He appeared before me in a dream
198
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,425
and I knew that was special
199
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,220
'cause I usually dream
about naked... Marge.
200
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,431
So, Homer,
you saw the big cheese?
201
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,974
What did he look like?
202
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,768
Perfect teeth, nice smell...
203
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,353
a class act all the way.
204
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,355
Homer, you're crazy!
205
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,524
Tell him this is all crazy.
206
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:34,819
Homer, I'd like you
to remember Matthew 7:26...
207
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,028
The foolish man
208
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,280
who built his house on sand.
209
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,117
And you remember...
210
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,620
Matthew... 21:17.
211
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,996
"And he left them
212
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,957
"and went out of the city
into Bethany
213
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,208
and he lodged there"?
214
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:51,210
Yeah.
215
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,920
Think about it.
216
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:55,464
Hello, work?
This is Homer Simpson.
217
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,550
I won't be coming in tomorrow.
218
00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,135
Religious holiday.
219
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,219
The, feast of...
220
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:02,388
maximum occupancy.
221
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:03,931
Pretty slick.
222
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,891
You should join
my religion, Moe.
223
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:06,892
It's great.
224
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,310
No hell, no kneeling...
225
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,979
Sorry, Homer.
226
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,356
I was born a snake handler
and I'll die a snake handler.
227
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,319
Neighbor,
I heard about your heresy
228
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,990
and we've made it our mission
to win you back to the flock.
229
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,325
- No sale.
- Homer, Christian life
230
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,369
isn't all praying and sacrifice.
231
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,163
Hey, dig this.
232
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,873
♪ God said to Noah ♪
233
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,708
♪ There's gonna be
a floody-floody ♪
234
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:35,796
♪ Rain came down ♪
235
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,507
♪ It started
to get muddy-muddy ♪
236
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,346
♪ Get those animals ♪
237
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,807
♪ Out on the arky-arky ♪
238
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,058
Leave me alone.
239
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,227
Dad, the heathen's getting away.
240
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,520
I see him, son.
241
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,261
Where are we going?
242
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:25,554
Garbage island.
243
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:07,471
Let's go, kids.
244
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,682
How come we have to go to church
245
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,525
and Dad gets to stay home
and watch cartoons?
246
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,311
I have a responsibility
247
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,063
to raise these children right,
248
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,565
and unless you change
249
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,275
I'll have to tell them
their father is...
250
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,526
Well, wicked.
251
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,903
Kids, let me tell you
252
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,406
about another
so-called "wicked" guy.
253
00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:28,617
He had long hair
and some wild ideas
254
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:29,994
and he didn't always do
255
00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:32,496
what other people
thought was right
256
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,833
and that man's name was...
257
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:37,126
I forget.
258
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,335
But the point is...
259
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:41,088
I forget that too.
260
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,132
Marge, you know
who I'm talking about.
261
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,359
He used to drive that blue car.
262
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,135
Kids, could you wait outside
for us?
263
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,097
Homer, please
don't make me choose
264
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:52,975
between my man and my God
because you just can't win.
265
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,268
There you go again.
266
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:56,937
Always taking
someone else's side.
267
00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:00,441
Flanders,
the water department, God...
268
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:03,611
I'm only going to ask you
one last time.
269
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:06,739
Are you sure you won't
come with us to church?
270
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,949
Coming up next:
Make your own ladder.
271
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,075
Very sure.
272
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,872
My friends
273
00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:17,333
the devil walks among us.
274
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,878
I got him!
275
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:23,881
No, don't look for the pitchfork
and pointy tail.
276
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:26,926
Today's devil has assumed
a more seductive form
277
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,302
pleasing to the eye.
278
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:29,929
H-h.
279
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,431
An interview
with Lorne Michaels.
280
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:33,432
H-h-h.
281
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,392
Wait, that's no good.
282
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,102
Hey, now we're talking.
283
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,980
"Our unabashed dictionary
defines I.U.D.
284
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,942
as 'love springs internal.'"
285
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:45,402
I don't get it.
286
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,406
Hello.
I'm collecting
287
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,784
for the Brotherhood
of Jewish Clowns.
288
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:54,203
Last year tornados
claimed the lives
289
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,080
of 75 Jewish clowns.
290
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,581
The worst incident
291
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,584
was during our convention
in Lubbock, Texas.
292
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:04,254
There were floppy shoes
and rainbow wigs everywhere.
293
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,633
It was terrible.
294
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:10,260
Wait a minute.
Is this a religious thing?
295
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,680
A religious clown thing, yes.
296
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:13,990
- Sorry.
- Well, bless you any...
297
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:17,267
Remember the Sabbath day
to keep it holy.
298
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,397
Apu, I see you're not in church.
299
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,732
But I am.
I have a shrine to Ganesha
300
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,944
the god of worldly wisdom,
located in the employee lounge.
301
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,862
Hey, Ganesha, want a peanut?
302
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:30,781
Please do not offer my god
a peanut.
303
00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:33,051
No offense, Apu, but when
they were handing out religions
304
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,077
you must have been out
taking a whiz.
305
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,371
Mr. Simpson,
please pay for your purchases
306
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:38,914
and get out, and come again.
307
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,084
Pride goeth before destruction.
308
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,711
Boy...
309
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:47,631
everyone is stupid except me.
310
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:08,652
Marge, turn down the heat.
311
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,738
That's better.
312
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,513
Fire!
313
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,766
What do I do?!
What do I do?!
314
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,602
The song, the song.
315
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,896
♪ When a fire
starts to burn ♪
316
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,606
♪ There's a lesson
you must learn ♪
317
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,900
♪ Something, something,
then you'll see ♪
318
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,277
♪ You'll avoid
catastrophe ♪
319
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,779
D'
320
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,159
Fire at the old Simpson place!
321
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,134
You're on your honor
not to steal anything.
322
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,374
We won't.
323
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:07,836
Little Jumpshid,
324
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,755
the store is in your hands.
325
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,078
How I have waited for this day.
326
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:31,151
You ducks are really
trying my patience!
327
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,694
But you're so cute.
328
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,657
Homer! Homer!
329
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:48,085
No!
330
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,598
Dear Lord, may your loving hand
331
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,976
guide Homer to the mattress,
square and true.
332
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,275
Okay.
333
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:24,163
Flanders, you saved me.
334
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,706
Why?
335
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:29,877
Heck, you would have done
the same for me.
336
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,421
Help! Help!
337
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,925
That's right, old friend.
338
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,177
Dad!
339
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,678
Homie, are you all right?
340
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:43,182
Our magazines and
roach traps, gone!
341
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:44,892
All gone.
342
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:50,272
I saved your cat.
343
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,149
That hurt.
344
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:55,652
Hey, what are these axes for?
345
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,905
I don't know.
Chopping stuff.
346
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,114
Gotcha!
347
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:03,202
Some nice chopping.
348
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:06,205
Truly, this was an act of God.
349
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,208
Hey, wait a minute!
350
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,710
Flanders is
a regular Charlie Church
351
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,087
and God didn't save his house.
352
00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,174
D'
353
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,843
Any valuables in the house?
354
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,179
Well, the Picasso,
355
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:24,181
my collection of classic cars...
356
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,683
Sorry. This policy
only covers actual losses,
357
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,060
not made-up stuff.
358
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,811
Well, that's just great.
359
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,397
Fire... man's oldest foe.
360
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:35,234
Insatiable, remorseless,
unquenchable.
361
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,485
Hey, it's out.
362
00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:40,239
Coming up next:
Which work better...
363
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:43,200
Springy clothespins
or the other kind?
364
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:50,499
You know, I have a feeling
there's a lesson here.
365
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:52,084
Yes. The lesson is...
366
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,461
No, don't tell me.
I'll get it.
367
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:55,963
I know.
368
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,048
The Lord is vengeful.
369
00:20:58,131 --> 00:20:59,883
Spiteful one
370
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,511
show me who to smite
and they shall be smoten.
371
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,097
Homer, God didn't
set your house on fire.
372
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,391
No, but he was working
in the hearts
373
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:10,686
of your friends and neighbors
when they went to your aid,
374
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,521
be they Christian, Jew, or...
375
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:14,064
miscellaneous.
376
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,692
Hindu.
There are 700 million of us.
377
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:18,026
Aw, that's super.
378
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,987
I was rude to every one of you,
379
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:21,947
and you saved my life
380
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,782
when you could have
just left me to fry
381
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:26,493
like the proverbial pancake
that I am.
382
00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:30,998
Homie, I'm so glad
to hear you say that.
383
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,083
Now, would you give church
another try?
384
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:36,628
I'll be there next Sunday,
front row center.
385
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,888
Don't feel bad, Homer.
386
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:50,434
Nine out of ten religions
fail in their first year.
387
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,021
That's game, Hendrix.
388
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,481
God, I got to ask you something.
389
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,525
What's the meaning of life?
390
00:21:58,608 --> 00:22:00,277
Homer, I can't tell you that.
391
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,029
Come on.
392
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,489
You'll find out when you die.
393
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:05,866
I can't wait that long.
394
00:22:05,949 --> 00:22:08,076
You can't wait six months?
395
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,953
No, tell me now.
396
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:12,289
Well, okay.
397
00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:14,750
The meaning of life is...
398
00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:58,584
Shh!
399
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,925
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
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