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00:00:06,386 --> 00:00:08,485
Sync by YYeTs
Correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:35,486 --> 00:00:39,700
And so then, and so then it turns out
the Terminator secretly had a kid,
3
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:43,626
ten years ago, meaning Terminator
could be his own father,
4
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:47,582
and then Skeletor gets angry
and wants to fight him!
5
00:00:48,999 --> 00:00:53,145
No, dude, that's not the trailer for
Terminator five, that really happened.
6
00:00:53,337 --> 00:00:54,898
Skeletor's real?
7
00:00:54,898 --> 00:00:57,574
No, dude, that's not Skeletor,
that's Terminator's wife.
8
00:00:57,574 --> 00:00:59,661
Skeletor's a lady?
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God dammit!
10
00:01:01,078 --> 00:01:03,246
Who the fuck do they think they are?
11
00:01:03,247 --> 00:01:05,515
This is the last fucking straw!
12
00:01:05,516 --> 00:01:08,685
I am going to fucking kill everybody!
13
00:01:08,686 --> 00:01:09,819
Hey, Eric!
14
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:13,197
I am so sick of this fucking schooooool!
15
00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:19,195
This stupid school and its stupid
principal have gone too far this time!
16
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,481
You get in trouble again, Cartman?
17
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,318
No! I didn't do a damn thing.
18
00:01:23,318 --> 00:01:24,465
Nothing!
19
00:01:24,465 --> 00:01:26,806
I told you this school is a den of snakes!
20
00:01:26,806 --> 00:01:28,838
You're not gonna believe what
they did this time, you guys!
21
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,215
Dude, we're just trying to eat.
22
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,119
Oh, you think I'm just
over reacting again, huh.
23
00:01:32,119 --> 00:01:33,465
No, not this time!
24
00:01:36,307 --> 00:01:40,455
The school has gone too far and it
affects each and every one of you!
25
00:01:41,597 --> 00:01:44,107
You remember the school
physical we all took last week?
26
00:01:44,107 --> 00:01:45,019
Yeah.
27
00:01:45,019 --> 00:01:48,905
Well, the school put the
sizes of all our penises
28
00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:51,513
up on a big chart in the school hallway!
29
00:01:52,249 --> 00:01:53,407
No, they didn't.
30
00:01:53,407 --> 00:01:54,881
Yeah, they fucking did, Kyle!
31
00:01:55,554 --> 00:01:57,719
Dude, why would the school put
up the sizes of our wieners?
32
00:01:57,719 --> 00:01:58,935
Because they don't fucking care!
33
00:01:58,936 --> 00:01:59,602
I've told you this!
34
00:01:59,603 --> 00:02:02,905
They don't give a shit about the students
and they live to make us miserable!
35
00:02:02,906 --> 00:02:04,548
That doesn't make any sense.
36
00:02:04,548 --> 00:02:06,378
Go look for yourselves!
37
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:10,480
There, you see?
38
00:02:10,481 --> 00:02:12,148
Can you fucking believe it?
39
00:02:12,149 --> 00:02:14,515
Is that really all our wiener sizes?
40
00:02:14,515 --> 00:02:15,956
Yeah, dude! Look at it!
41
00:02:15,956 --> 00:02:19,398
It says right there.
Eric Cartman 1.2 inches.
42
00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:21,268
Why would they tell everybody that?
43
00:02:21,268 --> 00:02:22,823
They wanna measure my wiener, fine,
44
00:02:22,823 --> 00:02:24,549
but don't put me on blast!
45
00:02:24,549 --> 00:02:26,429
Craig Tucker, 2.4 inches.
46
00:02:26,430 --> 00:02:27,673
Yeah, that's about right.
47
00:02:27,673 --> 00:02:29,891
Butters Stotch, 2.2 inches.
48
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Is that good?
49
00:02:30,815 --> 00:02:32,385
How big do they say mine is?
50
00:02:34,379 --> 00:02:36,488
I told you the students
would be interested in
51
00:02:36,488 --> 00:02:38,681
how much they grew since
their last physical.
52
00:02:38,681 --> 00:02:41,630
You're right, they really
seem into it, mkay.
53
00:02:43,419 --> 00:02:45,486
Wait, it says mine's only 2.1 inches.
54
00:02:45,486 --> 00:02:46,610
That doesn't seem right.
55
00:02:46,610 --> 00:02:47,874
No shit, Sherlock!
56
00:02:47,874 --> 00:02:50,076
My dick isn't 1.4 inches either.
57
00:02:50,076 --> 00:02:51,377
It isn't.
58
00:02:51,377 --> 00:02:54,282
This is another conspiracy
by the school faculty!
59
00:02:54,282 --> 00:02:55,837
A conspiracy?
60
00:02:55,837 --> 00:02:57,944
They're trying to stir
up some big thing again!
61
00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,965
Get all the girls all
heated up and freaking out
62
00:02:59,965 --> 00:03:01,798
over with boy has the biggest shlong!
63
00:03:01,799 --> 00:03:03,733
This has to be dealt with!
64
00:03:03,734 --> 00:03:04,867
Well everyone's already seen it.
65
00:03:04,868 --> 00:03:05,902
Nothing we can do about it now.
66
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,887
Oh, there's something we can
do about it, all right.
67
00:03:08,887 --> 00:03:10,131
If they're gonna put us on blast,
68
00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:11,908
they are at least getting
the numbers right.
69
00:03:11,909 --> 00:03:13,891
We are going to re-measure!
70
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:18,911
All right.
71
00:03:18,911 --> 00:03:20,884
Clyde Donovan, 2.3 inches.
72
00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:22,318
You see witnesses?
73
00:03:22,319 --> 00:03:24,517
That's .2 inches more than
what the school said.
74
00:03:24,517 --> 00:03:25,641
All right.
75
00:03:25,641 --> 00:03:26,395
Nice one, Clyde.
76
00:03:26,395 --> 00:03:27,491
All right, next.
77
00:03:29,391 --> 00:03:30,745
Whip it out, butters.
78
00:03:33,266 --> 00:03:34,897
Ooh, it's a little chilly in here.
79
00:03:34,898 --> 00:03:37,048
All right, butters, let's see
what you got going on down there.
80
00:03:37,048 --> 00:03:39,334
Hey, wait, the cold is
makin' it shrink some.
81
00:03:39,334 --> 00:03:41,061
Where you goin' little feller?
82
00:03:41,061 --> 00:03:42,393
Butters, I don't have time for this.
83
00:03:42,393 --> 00:03:44,528
I can't wait if your wiener
is pullin' a scared turtle.
84
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:45,941
Hang on, he's comin' back out.
85
00:03:45,941 --> 00:03:47,645
There he is!
86
00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:48,935
Who's a little guy.
87
00:03:48,935 --> 00:03:50,116
All right, butters.
88
00:03:50,116 --> 00:03:52,828
Looks like we have 2 point
-- wow -- 2.4 inches.
89
00:03:52,828 --> 00:03:53,805
Really nice, butters.
90
00:03:53,805 --> 00:03:55,151
I'm hung like a horse!
91
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:55,885
All right, that's everybody!
92
00:03:55,886 --> 00:03:58,037
Let's go post these numbers!
93
00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:01,828
What?
94
00:04:01,828 --> 00:04:03,163
Didn't you forget something?
95
00:04:03,163 --> 00:04:04,180
What, Kyle?
96
00:04:04,180 --> 00:04:06,881
You measured everyone's
wiener except for yours.
97
00:04:07,505 --> 00:04:08,798
I measured mine this morning. See?
98
00:04:08,799 --> 00:04:10,103
It's right here at the top.
99
00:04:11,149 --> 00:04:13,524
13.7 inches?
100
00:04:13,524 --> 00:04:14,481
Yeah, it's pretty good.
101
00:04:14,481 --> 00:04:17,021
Your wiener is not thirteen inches long!
102
00:04:17,021 --> 00:04:18,651
You made everyone else get
measured with witnesses.
103
00:04:18,651 --> 00:04:19,769
You have to too.
104
00:04:19,769 --> 00:04:20,841
Well, what are you guys gonna do,
105
00:04:20,841 --> 00:04:22,926
use a tape measure and
measure my penis yourselves?
106
00:04:22,926 --> 00:04:23,944
Are you homos?
107
00:04:23,944 --> 00:04:25,609
You just did that to everybody in class!
108
00:04:25,609 --> 00:04:26,960
Okay, fine, whatever.
109
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,057
Go ahead!
110
00:04:29,845 --> 00:04:31,917
Yeah, that's good.
A little higher on Craig's side.
111
00:04:34,627 --> 00:04:35,752
Yeah.
112
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,478
Actual boy's penis sizes?
113
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:39,482
Gross!
114
00:04:39,482 --> 00:04:40,373
You see?
115
00:04:40,373 --> 00:04:43,145
My wiener isn't 1.2 inches, it's 1.4!
116
00:04:43,145 --> 00:04:45,718
What red?
117
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:47,860
You all freakin' out because my wiener
is smaller than the other guys?
118
00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:49,173
I don't care!
119
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,929
Clearly I'm very happy with
the size of my wiener,
120
00:04:51,929 --> 00:04:53,667
or else why would I have
called for a new measurement
121
00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:55,235
and for this poster to be put up at all?
122
00:04:55,235 --> 00:04:57,666
Don't forget that this was all my idea!
123
00:04:57,666 --> 00:05:00,864
Eric Cartman to the principal's office.
Immediately.
124
00:05:00,864 --> 00:05:02,330
Oh God dammit!
125
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,655
Let me guess, I'm in trouble again!
126
00:05:05,656 --> 00:05:07,790
You're darn right, Eric.
127
00:05:07,791 --> 00:05:08,391
For what?
128
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:11,612
Why did you measure all the
boy students' penis sizes
129
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:14,225
and put the results on the
school bulletin board?
130
00:05:14,225 --> 00:05:15,966
Why did you measure our penis sizes
131
00:05:15,966 --> 00:05:17,715
and put the results on the
school bulletin board?
132
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,670
What?
133
00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:21,251
I don't care if Obama is president!
134
00:05:21,251 --> 00:05:23,465
You don't go around putting
little boys on blast,
135
00:05:23,465 --> 00:05:25,686
telling the whole world
lengths of their dicks!
136
00:05:25,805 --> 00:05:26,713
Wait.
137
00:05:26,713 --> 00:05:30,335
Are you talking about the numbers we
published Tuesday from the physicals?
138
00:05:30,335 --> 00:05:31,588
You're damn right!
139
00:05:31,588 --> 00:05:32,982
1.2 inches!
140
00:05:32,983 --> 00:05:36,319
I'll have you know that my penis
is a respectable 1.4 inches!
141
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,829
Maybe it's still the
smallest in the school,
142
00:05:37,829 --> 00:05:40,003
but it's point two inches
bigger that you said!
143
00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:44,165
The numbers we put up were
height differentials!
144
00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:48,332
What?
145
00:05:48,332 --> 00:05:50,966
We thought it would be fun to
put up how much each student
146
00:05:50,966 --> 00:05:53,682
has grown in height since
their physical last year.
147
00:05:53,682 --> 00:05:56,409
You grew 1.2 inches.
148
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,489
Those weren't our dick sizes?
149
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:04,207
Why would we publish the length
of our students' private parts?
150
00:06:04,207 --> 00:06:06,072
I don't know, why would you?
151
00:06:06,072 --> 00:06:07,651
We didn't!
152
00:06:07,651 --> 00:06:08,968
Aw, crap!
153
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,465
You mean everyone knows
my wiener is smaller
154
00:06:10,465 --> 00:06:11,931
than everyone else's because of me?
155
00:06:11,931 --> 00:06:15,243
This is exactly the kind of thing
we are always talking about Eric.
156
00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:17,507
You get angry about
something, you don't think,
157
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,441
and you cause bad things to happen.
158
00:06:19,441 --> 00:06:21,982
This time, you've done it to yourself!
159
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,153
Oh God.
160
00:06:23,153 --> 00:06:25,624
Why couldn't I have just taken
a minute to think about it.
161
00:06:25,624 --> 00:06:28,311
Because you have an anger problem, Eric.
162
00:06:28,311 --> 00:06:29,814
No, I don't!
163
00:06:31,028 --> 00:06:32,964
What we need to figure out here,
164
00:06:32,964 --> 00:06:36,520
is are we dealing with maybe a little
bipolarism, some rage addiction.
165
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,166
It could be a lot of things.
166
00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:40,336
My little sunshine has a temper sometimes,
167
00:06:40,336 --> 00:06:41,666
but he's not all bad.
168
00:06:41,666 --> 00:06:43,117
Let's try a little experiment.
169
00:06:43,117 --> 00:06:46,382
I want to see what kind of
things trigger you, Eric, okay?
170
00:06:46,382 --> 00:06:50,226
How do you think you would react if I
said some negative things about you?
171
00:06:50,227 --> 00:06:52,361
Honestly I wouldn't really care.
172
00:06:52,362 --> 00:06:55,905
What if I were to tell you
that I think you're fat?
173
00:06:55,905 --> 00:06:57,741
I think you're a fat little boy.
174
00:06:57,741 --> 00:07:01,170
I think you're way too fat for your age.
175
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,939
Does that make you feel any anger?
176
00:07:02,939 --> 00:07:04,420
Huh, fatty?
177
00:07:04,420 --> 00:07:05,541
Jelly belly?
178
00:07:05,542 --> 00:07:08,844
You got jelly in your belly
you little fat [Bleep].
179
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,992
You get a little flash of
anger when someone tells you
180
00:07:11,992 --> 00:07:15,140
you got tits like a forty
year old woman, fat boy?
181
00:07:16,908 --> 00:07:19,281
You like that? Shitty titty jelly belly?
182
00:07:19,281 --> 00:07:22,024
Oh, yeah, he's a big boy!
183
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:25,261
Get that fatty some mud flaps for his ass.
184
00:07:25,262 --> 00:07:27,697
Big ol' jiggly fatty butt!
185
00:07:35,202 --> 00:07:36,244
Huh.
186
00:07:36,365 --> 00:07:37,989
Well, I just don't see it, Ms. Cartman.
187
00:07:37,989 --> 00:07:40,810
Your son doesn't seem to be
triggered by anger at all.
188
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:44,422
In fact, I'd say he's one of the more
even tempered children I've ever seen.
189
00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:46,512
Sorry, doctor. Your wife's on the phone.
190
00:07:46,512 --> 00:07:47,900
Says it's an emergency.
191
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:48,883
Excuse me.
192
00:07:49,852 --> 00:07:50,890
Carol, what --
193
00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:52,905
whoa, calm down, honey.
194
00:07:53,343 --> 00:07:54,289
What do you mean?
195
00:07:55,237 --> 00:07:56,379
Web chat with what--
196
00:07:56,819 --> 00:07:58,225
what fourteen year old girl?
197
00:07:58,225 --> 00:07:59,394
Carol, I would never!
198
00:07:59,394 --> 00:08:01,192
No, I don't have a criminal record!
199
00:08:01,192 --> 00:08:03,375
Who is Mitch Conner?
200
00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:06,161
There can't be an official police
report, honey, there's no --
201
00:08:06,161 --> 00:08:10,005
no, Carol put down the gun!
Sweetie, put down the --
202
00:08:10,005 --> 00:08:12,088
Carol? Carol?
203
00:08:15,115 --> 00:08:17,539
I'm not fat. I'm big boned.
204
00:08:19,346 --> 00:08:21,008
Thank you for coming parents,
205
00:08:21,008 --> 00:08:24,088
we've called you in because we have had
a little 'incident' at the school.
206
00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:26,997
The fourth grade boys
measured their penises
207
00:08:26,997 --> 00:08:29,317
and posted results in the school hallway.
208
00:08:30,025 --> 00:08:31,249
Oh dear.
209
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,845
Now, we realize this issue
can have a troubling affect
210
00:08:33,845 --> 00:08:35,831
that can get blown out of proportion.
211
00:08:35,831 --> 00:08:38,388
Did they measure from the
base or from the balls?
212
00:08:43,238 --> 00:08:45,339
How does the school let
things like this happen?
213
00:08:45,339 --> 00:08:49,038
Now, now, boys' fascination with
their genitalia is a natural thing.
214
00:08:49,038 --> 00:08:53,268
We simply need to find a way to help the
students understand what they've done.
215
00:08:53,268 --> 00:08:54,583
I'm a scientist.
216
00:08:54,584 --> 00:08:56,396
I think it's best I handle this.
217
00:08:57,815 --> 00:09:00,087
Hello, students, my name is doctor marsh,
218
00:09:00,087 --> 00:09:01,599
and I'm gonna talk to
you a little bit about
219
00:09:01,599 --> 00:09:03,667
what happened at the school yesterday.
220
00:09:05,079 --> 00:09:08,023
How do a man and woman make a baby?
221
00:09:08,023 --> 00:09:09,298
Anybody.
222
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:12,026
A man and a woman, what do
they do to make a baby?
223
00:09:12,026 --> 00:09:13,772
How about the little
girl in the brown coat.
224
00:09:13,772 --> 00:09:15,047
Yeah, you.
225
00:09:15,047 --> 00:09:16,384
They have sex.
226
00:09:16,384 --> 00:09:17,283
Good!
227
00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:19,883
The man puts his penis, okay,
228
00:09:19,883 --> 00:09:22,367
into the woman's vagina.
229
00:09:22,367 --> 00:09:23,839
Okay, now sometimes,
230
00:09:23,839 --> 00:09:29,170
a man can feel like how long his
penis is is actually important.
231
00:09:29,170 --> 00:09:30,603
But is it?
232
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:33,159
When you boys measured your penis length
233
00:09:33,159 --> 00:09:35,736
the truth is it doesn't really matter.
234
00:09:35,736 --> 00:09:37,579
What does matter is --
235
00:09:37,788 --> 00:09:42,001
length times diameter
plus weight over girth
236
00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:44,833
divided by angle of the tip squared. Okay?
237
00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:47,762
When we are talking about penis size,
238
00:09:47,762 --> 00:09:49,545
we can't just use a tape measure.
239
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:52,708
We need a scale, and a protractor as well.
240
00:09:52,709 --> 00:09:54,684
Let's look at it on the graph here.
241
00:09:55,903 --> 00:09:58,083
Follow along with me on
your study sheet, kids.
242
00:10:01,003 --> 00:10:02,943
I want to congratulate all of you
243
00:10:02,943 --> 00:10:06,032
for making the effort to come
to anger management class.
244
00:10:06,032 --> 00:10:07,004
We didn't make any effort.
245
00:10:07,005 --> 00:10:08,463
We didn't have a choice!
246
00:10:08,464 --> 00:10:10,616
Yeah, this is bullshit!
247
00:10:10,617 --> 00:10:13,939
Together, we are going to learn
what makes us angry, okay,
248
00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:15,104
and how to better deal with it
249
00:10:15,105 --> 00:10:17,439
so we don't get our ourselves
into trouble a anymore.
250
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:18,507
So lame.
251
00:10:18,508 --> 00:10:20,212
Why doesn't everyone just die.
252
00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:20,745
Look!
253
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,641
If a somebody order the city beef,
254
00:10:22,642 --> 00:10:25,820
and a complain because they say
they ordered the city s shrimp
255
00:10:25,821 --> 00:10:27,141
it's not a my fault
256
00:10:27,142 --> 00:10:30,272
he gets a city chicken
poured all over his head!
257
00:10:30,273 --> 00:10:32,615
We have good reason to be angry!
258
00:10:32,616 --> 00:10:34,915
This country is going to shit!
259
00:10:34,916 --> 00:10:36,777
We have exactly twelve days
260
00:10:36,778 --> 00:10:37,993
before the oil is gone
261
00:10:37,994 --> 00:10:42,072
and our president is a socialist
who wasn't even born in America!
262
00:10:42,073 --> 00:10:44,307
Right. See, what we all need to do is
263
00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:46,484
channel our various reasons for anger
264
00:10:46,485 --> 00:10:48,256
and learn to control it.
265
00:10:48,313 --> 00:10:49,798
Man, this shit is whack, mah.
266
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:51,602
I just seen all this shit front in, mah.
267
00:10:51,603 --> 00:10:52,865
Don't understand what it's like my pops.
268
00:10:52,866 --> 00:10:54,184
Ain't no mother good,
269
00:10:54,185 --> 00:10:54,803
mah, bitch be coming.
270
00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:56,599
I be tappin that shit, mah.
271
00:10:57,193 --> 00:10:58,598
Why am I here?
272
00:10:58,599 --> 00:11:01,773
Well, Eric, because I know you
want to control your anger
273
00:11:01,774 --> 00:11:03,203
and become a better person.
274
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:05,449
You saying I got problems
like these people?
275
00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:07,833
No! No, I'm not saying that at all.
276
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,735
Please, I'm just saying how amazing you are
277
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:16,156
for wanting to lessen some of your
more less awesome attributes.
278
00:11:16,157 --> 00:11:17,493
Oh, that's cool.
279
00:11:18,573 --> 00:11:20,416
And so, by dividing the weight
280
00:11:20,417 --> 00:11:23,322
and the girth of the penis
by the angle or the --
281
00:11:23,323 --> 00:11:24,425
what do we call it again?
282
00:11:24,426 --> 00:11:27,065
The yaw, the yaw of the shaft,
283
00:11:27,066 --> 00:11:32,055
what we finally get is the
adjusted penis size or t.M.I.
284
00:11:32,056 --> 00:11:33,503
Any questions so far?
285
00:11:33,504 --> 00:11:35,081
Yes, little girl over there.
286
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,108
What's a penis?
287
00:11:42,861 --> 00:11:44,213
Ah, good question.
288
00:11:44,214 --> 00:11:47,033
Uh, the penis, is the thing
we are talking about
289
00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:49,310
that boys' have that we're measuring.
290
00:11:49,311 --> 00:11:50,905
Okay. Any other questions?
291
00:11:52,399 --> 00:11:55,595
Okay. So then let's move on to
the example on your study sheet.
292
00:11:55,596 --> 00:11:58,352
How about you, could you read the
first example for the class?
293
00:12:00,659 --> 00:12:01,714
Example one, young lady,
294
00:12:01,715 --> 00:12:03,344
please read the problem out loud.
295
00:12:05,318 --> 00:12:11,292
Example one: 'Randy' has a penis
that is 4.4 inches in length.
296
00:12:11,293 --> 00:12:13,469
4.4 inches.
297
00:12:13,624 --> 00:12:15,904
Its angle is 32 degrees.
298
00:12:15,905 --> 00:12:19,251
Its flaccid girth is 1 inch in diameter.
299
00:12:19,252 --> 00:12:22,175
His balls are 7 centimeters from the base.
300
00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:24,015
Seven centimeters.
301
00:12:24,254 --> 00:12:29,452
Randy notes that the drift of his
penis is 4 centimeters to penis right
302
00:12:29,453 --> 00:12:32,781
and its dead weight is .5 kilograms.
303
00:12:32,936 --> 00:12:34,996
Great. And so, divide by the 17,
304
00:12:34,997 --> 00:12:38,610
carry the one and we can see that
'Randy's' adjusted penis size,
305
00:12:38,611 --> 00:12:43,336
or TMI, is 6.3 inches.
306
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,582
Do we got that?
307
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:47,334
Randy's length is 4.4 inches,
308
00:12:47,335 --> 00:12:50,327
but his adjusted length is 6.3.
309
00:12:50,346 --> 00:12:55,549
So how does our example person 'Randy'
compare to others on the TMI scale?
310
00:12:55,616 --> 00:12:57,626
By referring again to the TMI chart,
311
00:12:57,627 --> 00:13:04,138
we see that a TMI of 6.3 is.
8 inches more than the national average.
312
00:13:05,636 --> 00:13:09,982
Okay. What we're going to do now is
get to the root of all your anger.
313
00:13:09,983 --> 00:13:11,772
Daniel, could you stand up, please.
314
00:13:14,048 --> 00:13:16,163
What makes you the angriest, Daniel?
315
00:13:16,164 --> 00:13:18,014
Stupid ass blind liberals!
316
00:13:18,015 --> 00:13:18,610
Okay, great.
317
00:13:18,611 --> 00:13:22,177
Chase, could you stand up and pretend
to be a stupid ass blind liberal.
318
00:13:23,249 --> 00:13:25,023
And what makes you angriest, chase?
319
00:13:25,024 --> 00:13:26,747
Skrawny ass sissies!
320
00:13:26,748 --> 00:13:28,558
Okay, Daniel is a skrawny ass sissy.
321
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,418
He just cut in front of
you in line at the bank.
322
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:32,195
Go!
323
00:13:32,196 --> 00:13:32,791
Hey!
324
00:13:32,792 --> 00:13:34,496
What, you think, I got a small dick?
325
00:13:34,497 --> 00:13:35,163
Huh?
326
00:13:35,164 --> 00:13:36,553
I don't have a small penis!
327
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,980
My wife thinks my penis is perfectly fine!
328
00:13:40,443 --> 00:13:41,188
Okay.
329
00:13:41,189 --> 00:13:44,445
Uh, why don't we do some role
playing now with Wayne d
330
00:13:44,446 --> 00:13:46,436
who gets angriest at his mom.
331
00:13:49,417 --> 00:13:51,885
Gretchen, could you play
Wayne d's mom for us.
332
00:13:52,890 --> 00:13:53,737
You bitch!
333
00:13:53,738 --> 00:13:54,548
You think you bad
334
00:13:54,549 --> 00:13:58,022
just cuz you a mom don't mean I won't
put a cap in your ass, bitch, mah!
335
00:13:58,023 --> 00:14:02,261
I may be female on the outside but I
still have a bigger penis than you!
336
00:14:02,284 --> 00:14:03,271
I don't have a small penis.
337
00:14:03,272 --> 00:14:03,921
Don't say that!
338
00:14:03,922 --> 00:14:04,780
It isn't true!
339
00:14:04,781 --> 00:14:06,079
It isn't true!
340
00:14:06,151 --> 00:14:07,087
That's enough!!
341
00:14:07,088 --> 00:14:10,486
I'm sick of everyone talking
about a penis size!
342
00:14:10,487 --> 00:14:11,793
Yeah, it doesn't matter!
343
00:14:11,794 --> 00:14:13,414
It doesn't matter!
344
00:14:16,152 --> 00:14:20,258
Does everyone here have an
issue with their penis size?
345
00:14:21,073 --> 00:14:21,589
No. Nope.
346
00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:22,394
Not me.
347
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,658
Nah mah, my shit be packin', mah.
348
00:14:24,694 --> 00:14:26,600
My penis is thirteen inches long!
349
00:14:28,466 --> 00:14:30,141
Kids, my name is Rebecca Turnoud
350
00:14:30,142 --> 00:14:34,327
and I'm an actual doctor of
human sexuality and behavior.
351
00:14:34,328 --> 00:14:35,587
Unfortunately,
352
00:14:35,588 --> 00:14:39,345
you have been taught some very wrong
ideas in the past couple of days
353
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,736
and I am here to set things straight.
354
00:14:41,777 --> 00:14:42,692
Thank God.
355
00:14:42,693 --> 00:14:46,183
I want you to try and
forget these wild theories
356
00:14:46,184 --> 00:14:48,849
and understand that all that's important
357
00:14:48,850 --> 00:14:51,372
when it comes to a man
and a woman making love
358
00:14:51,373 --> 00:14:54,864
is actually length times girth
359
00:14:54,865 --> 00:14:59,524
over angle of the shaft
divided by mass over width.
360
00:14:59,614 --> 00:15:01,264
Vou damn n montaire!
361
00:15:13,603 --> 00:15:16,310
We all nt to welcome our new member, Randy.
362
00:15:16,311 --> 00:15:17,712
Say hi to everyone, randi.
363
00:15:17,713 --> 00:15:19,226
Oh suck it, all of you!
364
00:15:19,227 --> 00:15:21,220
Now, we've all been trying
to channel our anger
365
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,961
in more constructive ways, Randy.
366
00:15:22,962 --> 00:15:25,009
Why don't you share what's bothering you.
367
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:27,526
You don't just go around changing math.
368
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:31,378
Who the hell is this chick surgeon
general appointed by Obama?
369
00:15:31,379 --> 00:15:32,579
God damn right!
370
00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:34,624
Socialist fascists!
371
00:15:35,118 --> 00:15:36,332
Power to the people!
372
00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:37,761
Burn it down!
373
00:15:37,947 --> 00:15:39,599
Burn it down!
374
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,768
Mr. marsh, this is what we are
here to try and work on, okay.
375
00:15:42,769 --> 00:15:45,338
No dude, we're burnin' this shit!
376
00:15:45,339 --> 00:15:48,087
If you take a minute to
think about your anger --
377
00:15:50,563 --> 00:15:51,711
yeah, dude!
378
00:15:51,747 --> 00:15:54,344
Mah, that shit be burnin n shit mah!
379
00:16:04,878 --> 00:16:07,499
Welcome to fed ex, how
can I help you today?
380
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,005
Yes, I've got some birthday
presents I need shipped.
381
00:16:10,006 --> 00:16:11,969
Alright, let's see what kind of --
382
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:13,427
burn it down!
383
00:16:13,661 --> 00:16:15,338
Burn it down, dude!
384
00:16:21,116 --> 00:16:23,824
Let's see how the American
government likes it
385
00:16:23,825 --> 00:16:26,984
when we shut down their federal express!
386
00:16:28,209 --> 00:16:31,844
Tom, I'm standing outside the
fedex in fairplay, Colorado
387
00:16:31,845 --> 00:16:35,329
where a radical political group
has taken several people hostage.
388
00:16:35,330 --> 00:16:38,126
They call themselves 'the
pissed off and angry party'
389
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:40,746
and they allowed me to speak
with them moments ago.
390
00:16:40,889 --> 00:16:42,836
This is a call to all angry people!
391
00:16:42,837 --> 00:16:43,944
We've had enough!
392
00:16:43,945 --> 00:16:45,845
We're gonna hit the
government where it hurts!
393
00:16:45,846 --> 00:16:47,805
Right in the federal express!
394
00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:50,192
What exactly are you angry about?
395
00:16:50,284 --> 00:16:53,350
We're angry about this
stupid liberal government
396
00:16:53,351 --> 00:16:56,592
and fascist lies, media control, and --
397
00:16:56,593 --> 00:16:57,640
and Jews!
398
00:16:57,641 --> 00:17:01,157
Yeah, and Jews and all the stuff
that the government's doing!
399
00:17:01,158 --> 00:17:02,688
You've got a lot of people scared.
400
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,141
What are your demands?
401
00:17:04,142 --> 00:17:07,891
Well, first of all, we want that
surgeon general to step down!
402
00:17:08,648 --> 00:17:12,069
And we want -- and we wanna see
Obama's real birth certificate!
403
00:17:12,070 --> 00:17:14,946
Yeah. We wanna see Obama's
real birth certificate!
404
00:17:14,947 --> 00:17:15,854
And, uhmm --
405
00:17:15,855 --> 00:17:17,753
and my mom gotta stop trippin mah.
406
00:17:17,754 --> 00:17:19,633
Bitch be trippin' all the time, mah!
407
00:17:19,634 --> 00:17:21,936
Yeah, we want our mom's
to stop trippin, man,
408
00:17:21,937 --> 00:17:24,034
cuz them bitches be trippin all the time!
409
00:17:24,035 --> 00:17:25,406
And I think that --
410
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:26,782
is that it?
411
00:17:26,783 --> 00:17:28,332
No, and Kyle!
412
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:30,031
Oh, yeah and Kyle!
413
00:17:30,032 --> 00:17:31,544
Surgeon general's resignation,
414
00:17:31,545 --> 00:17:33,282
Obama's real birth certificate,
415
00:17:33,283 --> 00:17:35,323
mom's to stop trippin and Kyle.
416
00:17:35,324 --> 00:17:36,197
You got that?
417
00:17:36,198 --> 00:17:39,772
Or else we're gonna bring the
federal express to a grinding halt!
418
00:17:39,773 --> 00:17:42,883
Does it bother you that the federal
express is not affiliated at all
419
00:17:42,884 --> 00:17:44,553
with the federal government?
420
00:17:47,371 --> 00:17:48,337
No!
421
00:17:48,608 --> 00:17:50,133
No, that doesn't matter.
422
00:17:51,882 --> 00:17:52,872
Really?
423
00:18:01,636 --> 00:18:03,461
Butters, what are you doing?
424
00:18:03,462 --> 00:18:04,366
Homework!
425
00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:05,693
I just don't get it!
426
00:18:05,694 --> 00:18:07,594
That is the fourth time I've calculated!
427
00:18:07,595 --> 00:18:09,113
And it's below average!
428
00:18:09,114 --> 00:18:12,957
I thought I was hung, but according
to my TMI I have a micropenis!
429
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,182
Your TMI?
430
00:18:14,183 --> 00:18:15,282
I don't understand it.
431
00:18:15,283 --> 00:18:18,445
I'm startin' -- I'm startin to feel angry!
432
00:18:18,872 --> 00:18:20,958
Butters, put your clothes on!
433
00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:22,114
Oh, what's the point, mom?
434
00:18:22,115 --> 00:18:23,643
What's the point of life anyways?
435
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:24,946
All you do is yell at me!
436
00:18:24,947 --> 00:18:25,748
And the government!
437
00:18:25,749 --> 00:18:27,445
It's lead by fascists!
438
00:18:27,446 --> 00:18:29,531
And everyone's a Justin Bieber wanna be!
439
00:18:29,532 --> 00:18:30,752
I wanna go and drive a hummer.
440
00:18:30,753 --> 00:18:31,814
That's what I wanna do!
441
00:18:31,815 --> 00:18:34,530
I wanna drive a car that
goes vram vram vram!
442
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:38,106
Butters, what does driving a car have
to do with your penis being small?
443
00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:44,753
Hey! Everyone who's pissed off and angry
is rallying to take down America!
444
00:18:44,754 --> 00:18:46,099
Join the fight!
445
00:18:48,658 --> 00:18:50,772
We're gonna take down
the federal expresses!
446
00:18:50,773 --> 00:18:52,358
The American apparels!
447
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,893
And the American furniture warehouse!
448
00:18:56,821 --> 00:18:59,090
We are fed up and we've had enough!
449
00:19:02,572 --> 00:19:05,120
Surgeon general, twelve more
fedexs have been taken over,
450
00:19:05,121 --> 00:19:07,581
the pissed off and angry party
is gaining more support.
451
00:19:07,582 --> 00:19:09,143
They've shut down American airlines
452
00:19:09,144 --> 00:19:11,723
and American apparels all over the country.
453
00:19:11,724 --> 00:19:13,529
We have to ask you to step down.
454
00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:14,647
Are you seriously saying
455
00:19:14,648 --> 00:19:16,532
we're going to give into their demands?
456
00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:18,310
They are all really angry.
457
00:19:18,311 --> 00:19:19,628
We have to make them stop.
458
00:19:19,629 --> 00:19:22,469
Is the team standing by to
that little boy 'Kyle'?
459
00:19:22,470 --> 00:19:24,164
Team is standing by, sir.
460
00:19:24,303 --> 00:19:25,005
Excuse me.
461
00:19:25,006 --> 00:19:26,004
Excuse me. Let me through!
462
00:19:26,005 --> 00:19:27,091
Who is this?
463
00:19:27,092 --> 00:19:29,792
Surgeon general, I believe I
know why this is happening.
464
00:19:29,842 --> 00:19:34,226
I have found a direct correlation
between anger and TMI.
465
00:19:36,546 --> 00:19:38,602
Anger equals length times width
466
00:19:38,603 --> 00:19:42,676
over mass squared minus angle
of the shaft plus yaw.
467
00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:46,991
Look, we all get angry, but when
someone is consistently angry,
468
00:19:46,992 --> 00:19:49,152
or always finding new reasons to be angry
469
00:19:49,153 --> 00:19:53,334
it means they have a very,
very, very, very small dick.
470
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:54,780
Your theory is fine, doctor,
471
00:19:54,781 --> 00:19:56,042
but it doesn't matter.
472
00:19:56,043 --> 00:19:59,677
The TMI equation is true solid
science, which cannot be changed.
473
00:19:59,678 --> 00:20:01,422
There's nothing we can do about it.
474
00:20:01,543 --> 00:20:02,671
Isn't there?
475
00:20:03,676 --> 00:20:06,590
Isn't there?
476
00:20:07,329 --> 00:20:08,919
We've waited long enough, Randy!
477
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,866
Let's start killing these sons a bitches!
478
00:20:10,867 --> 00:20:12,373
No, please!
479
00:20:12,374 --> 00:20:14,239
Yeah, dude, they aren't
gonna give us what we want.
480
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,821
Yo, let's cap these bitches, mah.
481
00:20:15,822 --> 00:20:18,238
Let's cap 'em 'n leave 'em in
the back a the buildin', mah.
482
00:20:18,470 --> 00:20:19,502
Hey, come over here!
483
00:20:19,503 --> 00:20:20,098
Look!
484
00:20:20,099 --> 00:20:23,613
We interrupt this newscast for an important
message from the surgeon general.
485
00:20:23,614 --> 00:20:26,530
Fellow Americans, as you
all know the TMI scale was
486
00:20:26,531 --> 00:20:30,370
implemented long ago to assure
that each and every American
487
00:20:30,371 --> 00:20:32,690
could accurately measure their junk.
488
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:36,012
The established equation
is 100 percent accurate.
489
00:20:37,617 --> 00:20:42,585
However, due to recently collected
data we are making one change.
490
00:20:42,586 --> 00:20:46,309
The national average for penis
length is now officially moved,
491
00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:49,776
from six inches to 1.6 inches.
492
00:20:50,032 --> 00:20:55,629
Anyone with a TMI of over 1.5 inches
is considered 'above average.'
493
00:21:00,048 --> 00:21:03,132
the winds of change are blowin'.
494
00:21:03,671 --> 00:21:07,589
There's excitement in the air.
495
00:21:07,729 --> 00:21:08,956
Can you feel it?
496
00:21:09,084 --> 00:21:12,073
It's electric and magical
497
00:21:12,074 --> 00:21:19,620
the happy train's on track
because America is back.
498
00:21:21,690 --> 00:21:22,724
Come on!
499
00:21:22,769 --> 00:21:23,821
Wait, what?
500
00:21:27,336 --> 00:21:30,170
America is back!
501
00:21:30,171 --> 00:21:32,948
America is back!
502
00:21:32,949 --> 00:21:34,185
Wait, according to that scale,
503
00:21:34,186 --> 00:21:36,076
I still have a small wiener.
504
00:21:36,243 --> 00:21:39,159
America is back!
505
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,783
I'm still fucking angry!
506
00:21:40,784 --> 00:21:43,024
And we're back!
507
00:21:43,224 --> 00:21:45,424
Sync by YYeTs
Correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
37902
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