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1
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,341
(Pam laughs)
2
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,844
What's wrong, Michael?
3
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,596
I got gum in my hair.
4
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,680
You do.
5
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:16,058
This just stinks.
6
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:17,684
Don't touch it.
Please, don't touch it!
7
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:18,828
You've got a ton of dandruff.
8
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:19,895
Okay, let me be.
9
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,122
How'd you get gum in your hair?
10
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,750
I was walking in and I noticed
something shiny under Stanley's car,
11
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:28,028
and I'd gotten under to see what
it was, and I messed up my hair.
12
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,155
All for a stupid
piece of tin foil.
13
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,491
But, best-case scenario,
you thought it was a quarter.
14
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,034
Kill me, right now.
15
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,328
We have peanut butter
in the kitchen.
16
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,164
I don't feel like peanut butter.
Get me an ice cream sandwich.
17
00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:42,626
Nope, not for you, it's for
your hair. And it is 9:00 am.
18
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,213
No, Dwight, not the good peanut
butter. People are gonna get mad.
19
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:49,007
Hey, hey, hey. This is
my hair we're talking about.
20
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:52,928
Smells good.
21
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,222
Tastes good, too.
22
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,182
Oh, don't, that's disgusting.
23
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,934
Wow, a lot of calories.
24
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:01,311
Well, just don't
leave it on too long.
25
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,772
Keep massaging, please.
26
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,275
Oh, yeah, that's nice.
27
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,563
Hey, Michael, how
was your date last night?
28
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:45,856
(Sighs)
29
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:49,026
I will be honest. The dating
has not been going well.
30
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:52,696
Look, men are visual creatures.
31
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:59,578
We crave beauty. Like
a piece of fine art by
32
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,874
any number of renowned artists.
33
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:09,630
Or an arty photograph
of Cindy Crawford nude.
34
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:13,133
That, but the women I'm
getting fixed up with are...
35
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:19,348
Not that they aren't nice
or have great personalities,
36
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:23,477
they just, they just lack
a certain crawfordness.
37
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,189
I am livid. Absolutely livid.
38
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,357
It's ridiculous.
39
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,068
Yes, I'm having the Scranton
branch come in on one Saturday,
40
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,570
so they can re-enter sales
that they made on the phone
41
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,823
as sales made by the website, which
they should've done in the first place,
42
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,450
if the website had been working.
43
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:39,826
(Door opening)
44
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,665
My favorite branch.
How's everybody doing?
45
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,060
Hey, man, do you mind
if I run something by you?
46
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,044
Love it! Go.
47
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:53,215
Well, I kind of feel like what we have
going for us is our customer service.
48
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,592
And no matter how much
we change this up,
49
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,303
I don't know that a website's
gonna be able to replace that.
50
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,573
I can tell you've thought
about this a lot. I appreciate that.
51
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:01,598
Thanks.
52
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,808
David Wallace does, too.
53
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:06,061
You told him all about this
at the Christmas party, right?
54
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:08,855
Did I?
55
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,107
You did, yeah.
56
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,191
Hmm.
57
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,402
Watch your back, Jim.
58
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,530
I'm just kidding.
59
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,786
Ladies and gentlemen, may
I have your attention, please?
60
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,080
I know that a lot of you
are very angry with Ryan,
61
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,266
because he is the reason we
all have to come in tomorrow.
62
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:32,295
However, I swear to god, if
any of you hurts him in any way
63
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,506
emotionally, or taunts him,
64
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:38,176
or makes fun of his
height or his half-beard...
65
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,512
Okay. Thanks
Michael. He... yeah.
66
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:41,763
I'm here today
67
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,808
to do some creative problem
solving about dunder Mifflin infinity
68
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,768
and field your
questions. Question.
69
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:47,853
Dwight.
70
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,038
Why am I being forced
to come in tomorrow
71
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,148
and pretend that a website
made sales that I made?
72
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,443
This is a temporary measure to
increase the legitimacy of the site.
73
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,154
I don't like when my clients call
me to help them use the website.
74
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,864
I'm not seeing
commissions on that.
75
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,450
I hear you, Stanley. That
is a great observation.
76
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:06,246
Problems like that will not happen
when we launch dunder Mifflin infinity 2.0.
77
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,165
When will that be? Tbd.
78
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,249
Phyllis.
79
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:10,435
Did the police solve
the problem with...
80
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,753
Yes, yes, they did.
Yes, they did.
81
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:17,007
Yes, the social networking feature
of the dunder Mifflin infinity website
82
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,593
was infiltrated by
sexual predators.
83
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,596
I don't understand why our website
needs to have social networking at all.
84
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,615
Yeah, actually I have to
agree with Dwight on that one.
85
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:28,143
It's all about creating a
one-stop consumer experience.
86
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,145
All right? You're chatting
with your friends,
87
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,980
you're talking about
the latest music.
88
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,106
About the election.
89
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:37,402
All of it is happening
in our virtual paper store.
90
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:40,030
And then an older gentleman
asks you, "boxers or briefs?"
91
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,491
I don't get the big fuss,
here. I like the site.
92
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:45,786
If I had created a website with
this many problems, I'd kill myself.
93
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:46,971
Do you have a question, Kelly?
94
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,275
Yeah, I have a lot of questions.
95
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,081
Number one. How dare you?
96
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:59,174
Ryan has done a very good job,
and I am not applauding sarcastically.
97
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,926
Think about it. A month ago,
98
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,261
nobody would go on this
site, because we were worried
99
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:07,724
about getting molested or
losing our identity, having it stolen.
100
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:14,356
But now, at a time tdb, all of
these problems will be in the past.
101
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,900
You done good, kid.
You done good.
102
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,782
Well, it has been nice
seeing you again, my friend.
103
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:24,908
You, too.
104
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,204
Oh, Ryan, I need a
girlfriend so bad.
105
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,789
Michael, let me go.
106
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,040
Let me go, Michael.
107
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,208
All right.
108
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,920
Do you know any girls in New York
you might want to hook me up with,
109
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,923
that might be interested
in a guy like me?
110
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,675
Nah. Nah.
111
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,343
Sony, man. Vveh, youtned.
112
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,886
But, seriously...
113
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,681
You should see the girls
I meet at clubs in the city.
114
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,807
Unreal.
115
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,267
They sound great.
116
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,896
Bye, everyone! Stay real,
Scranton, all right? Peace!
117
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,900
Would you have sex
with Meredith?
118
00:05:58,984 --> 00:05:59,985
What?
119
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,295
Do you think
she'd keep it quiet?
120
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,904
I'm gonna go to my desk.
121
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,825
Jim, it's not the horniness,
okay? It's thelonehness.Thats_.
122
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,201
I know.
123
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,745
Let's go to New York.
We'll go clubbing with Ryan.
124
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,080
I can't. Yes, you can.
125
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,915
You're single, I'm single.
It'll be awesome.
126
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,041
I'm not single.
127
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,626
Who are you dating?
128
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,253
Pam.
129
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,880
That's still going on?
130
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:20,964
(Michael sighs)
131
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,010
Okay, Dwight, grab your stuff.
132
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,679
We're going to New York to
party with Ryan and to meet girls.
133
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:28,847
Yeah! Andy: Oh, yes.
134
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:33,101
Count me in, dudes. I am in
serious need of some bro time.
135
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:37,188
Old ball and chain's been a
lot more chain than ball lately,
136
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:38,992
if you know what I'm
saying. I'm right here.
137
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:42,527
No, singles only. Singles
only. Also, three is unlucky.
138
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,196
Curse of three. Sorry, Andy.
139
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,532
Cannot take any chances
on curses. Not tonight.
140
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:50,285
Let's go. Everybody, I will see
you tomorrow, Saturday morning,
141
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,663
probably wearing the same
clothes that I'm wearing right now,
142
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:55,957
if you catch my drift.
143
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,167
Pam: We get it.
144
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,752
I am going
145
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,462
to go get laid.
146
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,546
Goodbye!
147
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,256
(Laughing) With sex!
148
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,696
You know what? If we all
stayed a couple hours late tonight
149
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,890
without Michael distracting us, we
wouldn't have to come in at all tomorrow.
150
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:17,145
So I caught everyone before
they left, and I told them my idea.
151
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,563
And they loved it.
152
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:21,399
Because this is a group
that respects good ideas.
153
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:24,194
The one time a year
they hear one.
154
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,449
Ryan's assistant told us
155
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,494
that he would be
at this club this evening.
156
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,204
It is called prerogative.
157
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,331
(Dance music playing)
158
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,418
Michael: This place is packed!
159
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,003
Dwight: Fire hazard.
160
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,463
Packed with
161
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,173
"beautiful babies."
162
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,801
Swingers, classic.
163
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:51,930
Jon favreau,
tall guy from dodgeball.
164
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,224
These women look
like white slaves.
165
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,518
Michael: No, they'rejust hot.
Hotties.
166
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:59,813
I don't know. When you think about
it, cabo is really the third world.
167
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,541
Ryan: I don't go to a place like
that to see more poverty, you know?
168
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,668
You go there to get
some glamour, and...
169
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:04,693
Hey.
170
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:05,777
Michael?
171
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:06,861
Hey.
172
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:07,946
What are you doing here?
173
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,072
Well, you know,
174
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,035
just taking you up
on your offer to party, so...
175
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,075
Ta-da!
176
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,785
That is so awesome, man!
177
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,078
All right!
178
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,621
And you brought this guy!
179
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:17,956
Yeah!
180
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,290
Oh!
181
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,711
Ryan, it's Michael and Dwight.
182
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,170
I know it's you guys! Okay.
183
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,172
I'm so psyched
you're here. Well...
184
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:27,298
(Whooping)
185
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,508
All right!
186
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,176
Let's get a drink!
187
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,261
Let's do it!
188
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,937
Jim: Thanks a lot, guys!
Good job!
189
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,941
Later.
190
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,526
Nice job, everybody.
191
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,736
Great work.
192
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:57,203
Did you not tell the security
guard we were working late?
193
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,873
Nope. I didn't.
194
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,543
But let's go inside and
I can call him right now.
195
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,546
We can't. I locked the office
from the inside when we left.
196
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:09,174
Perfect. You guys worked
together on this one.
197
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:13,762
If I'm not in my bath with a glass of
red wine in one hour, you're both dead.
198
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:21,394
There is a master key and
a spare key for the office.
199
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,688
Dwight has them both.
200
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:27,942
When I asked, "what if you die,
Dwight? How will we get into the office?"
201
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:31,446
He said, "if I'm dead, you
guys have been dead for weeks."
202
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:35,408
Ryan: Guys, I want you to meet a
really good friend of mine. This is Troy.
203
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,594
Michael: Hey, nice to meet you.
204
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:37,660
How're you doing?
205
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,037
Hi. Dwight.
206
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,539
You resemble the
tolkien character.
207
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,584
He basically is, man. He's
a regular banking wizard.
208
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,795
No, no, no, not a wizard.
A hobbit.
209
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,166
Ryan: Bottle service, y'all?
210
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,591
Michael: Oh, okay.
All I know is,
211
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,844
I would like some chicken
fingers and a midori sour.
212
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,679
We don't serve food here.
213
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,808
Oh, okay. Then just
bring me two cups,
214
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:03,978
one with olives, and another
one filled with maraschino cherries.
215
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,982
Do you live in a
regular-sized house?
216
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,443
Yeah, he's a normal guy.
He's cool.
217
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,713
You really don't have
his phone number?
218
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,989
I told you, I have the
number that rings here.
219
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,157
Do you want that number?
220
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,951
I might have it in here.
221
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,911
Wow, that's great, Toby.
222
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,830
It's so random that I have it.
223
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,414
Toby, you're the best!
224
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:26,852
When I put it in, I thought it might be a
waste of time, but I guess it was worth it.
225
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,254
Great. It's under here
as "security guard home."
226
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,214
Did you not get
his name, or... no.
227
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,550
It's ringing... does anybody
have his name, quick?
228
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,676
Yes, it's Eddie.
229
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,803
It's not... it's not
Eddie. It's Evan or...
230
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,263
Hank. His name is Hank.
231
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,015
No, guys, his name's
not Hank, it's... is it Edgar?
232
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,100
Elliot. Elliot.
233
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,144
Is it... hey, chief.
234
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,980
This is Jim Halpert from
235
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,398
where you work.
236
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:52,944
You are the guy who sits
behind the desk. You're the...
237
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,488
The African-American guy.
238
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,073
I mean, you're...
239
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:58,992
Who have I got here?
240
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,620
Dwight schrute, man.
How's schrute farms?
241
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:03,955
Good.
242
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,832
This guy owns his own beet farm.
243
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,958
Insane!
244
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,085
Well, it's weevil season,
but we were prepared.
245
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,838
"Weevils."
what a crazy word, man.
246
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,424
I don't even know what that
means. What does that mean?
247
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,885
They lay their eggs
inside the unripe beetroot,
248
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,053
then, come springtime,
the babies eat their way out.
249
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,471
Crazy! Sick!
250
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,975
That's too much for me, man.
I'm gonna hit the bathroom.
251
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,060
You've already been
several times.
252
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,145
Yeah?
253
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,873
Maybe you have some
kind of bladder infection.
254
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:29,939
I don't know. Maybe.
255
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,691
I'll order you some
cranberryjuice.
256
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,568
With vodka. You're the best!
257
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,738
Do you have powers?
258
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,531
Oh, thank you, Hank.
259
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,284
You are a lifesaver,
Hank. Appreciate it.
260
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,996
All right, so Hank is going to come
down here. He's gonna let us all out.
261
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,332
He said it should be
just under an hour, so...
262
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:48,666
All: Oh!
263
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:49,792
We did it.
264
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,670
We should all make sure to
give him a big tip this Christmas.
265
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,924
Sorry, guys, but I don't think
I chipped in for last year's.
266
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,258
Neither did I.
267
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,677
Jim was supposed to collect it.
268
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,681
Way to go, man.
269
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,058
Now he's never gonna come.
270
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:08,937
By a show of hands, who thinks
we're a better couple than Jim and Pam?
271
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,107
Phyllis!
272
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:19,113
I thought about getting a tattoo
on my back, as well, at one point.
273
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:22,200
I was thinking about getting
back to the future.
274
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,285
"Back" because it's on my back,
275
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:29,040
and "future" because I'm the kind of guy
who likes to look ahead into the future.
276
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,669
I just think a tattoo should
mean something, you know?
277
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,295
And it's my
second-favorite movie.
278
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,797
I've never heard of that movie.
279
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,008
Back to the future? Oh, wow!
280
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:41,970
Well, you should take
a film education course.
281
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,304
How old are you?
282
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,306
40... I'm in my 40s.
283
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,518
Wow, that's so cool.
284
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:49,602
Yeah.
285
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,021
Well, I'm gonna go
back to my group now.
286
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,314
Oh, okay.
287
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,524
Thanks for the drink.
288
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,984
You are welcome.
289
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,616
This place is like a...
Like a sexy preschool.
290
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,636
Did you want a place where
we can meet older women?
291
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:08,037
I would love a place where
we can meet older girls.
292
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,247
Hell, yeah!
293
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,416
I'll hook it up!
294
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,668
Wow, that's dangerous.
295
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,344
Excuse me.
296
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,512
Yeah?
297
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,056
How did you all find each other?
298
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,185
We're the Jersey state varsity basketball
team. Northeast regional champs.
299
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,021
(Whooping)
300
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,064
Amazons!
301
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,234
It's off. It's not
the dude I know.
302
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,462
It's some other loser who
won't let us in without chicks.
303
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,047
Michael: You're kidding.
Ryan: Let's bail.
304
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:45,366
Wait, wait, wait. You two,
Jersey state girls, let's go.
305
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,327
We're not going
unless we can all go.
306
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,828
Okay, you know what? Fine.
307
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,247
Let's go, two girls to a
guy. Come on, let's do it.
308
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,915
Come on, Ryan. Move out!
309
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,210
Hey, three or four with him.
Let's go, come on. Here we go.
310
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:57,795
Don't step on him.
311
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:00,631
Pam: Really?
312
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,592
Hey, look what I
found in the back.
313
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,111
Want to play?
I can teach you to throw.
314
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,321
I know how to throw a football.
315
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,471
Of course you do.
316
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,306
Andy: Yeah, Pam! Hit me up!
317
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:09,515
Kevin: Go long!
318
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,060
(Groaning)
319
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:17,607
Bartender: There you go.
320
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,610
Wait a minute. What is
this? I didn't order this.
321
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,861
It's for you. From them.
322
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,233
Troy: What are you doing, man?
323
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,037
It's not safe. Anything
could have been in there.
324
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,497
Nice try!
325
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,624
I've never met anybody
who does that.
326
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,793
You wash dogs. Very cool.
327
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,420
That's one aspect of small
pet grooming. What do you do?
328
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:40,838
I am a bank teller.
329
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,509
Ryan told me to always tell
women you work in finance.
330
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,802
Cool. Yeah.
331
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,428
I think so. Yeah, I have fun.
332
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,389
I'm just gonna use
the powder room.
333
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,057
All right. So, phsee you soon.
334
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,392
Very perfect.
335
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:03,194
This needs to be shared.
336
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,873
(Cell phones ringing)
337
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,256
(All groaning)
338
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,049
She washes dogs.
339
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,467
You're doing it, man I know!
340
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,053
I don't want to get ahead
of myself, but...
341
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:30,739
I think I want her
to meet my mom.
342
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,265
Hey, man,
343
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:35,393
do you ever think there's gonna
be this massive nuclear holocaust?
344
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,276
And after all the major
nations are destroyed,
345
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,148
there'll just be tribes in the
jungles that rise up and survive?
346
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,775
Thatjungle warfare
is gonna rule the world?
347
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,861
Yeah, maybe.
348
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:54,888
Ryan: It's inevitable, right?
349
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:55,913
Mmm-hmm.
350
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,851
Please don't pick up.
Please don't pick up.
351
00:15:58,875 --> 00:15:59,876
Hank: Hello.
352
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:00,960
Hank.
353
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,503
Is that you? Yeah.
354
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,731
Still haven't left the
house yet, huh?
355
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,299
Hank: I was getting
ready to leave.
356
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,384
Good. Please hurry.
357
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:11,262
Stop calling me,
so I can put on my damn socks.
358
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:14,015
Will do. I'll stop calling.
359
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,144
Michael: I am.
360
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,896
I am getting out there.
361
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:23,065
Well, no, I've asked
a lot of girls to dance, mom.
362
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,442
They're just... it's not...
363
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:26,861
Listen to me for a second.
364
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,029
(Girl shouting)
365
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:30,531
Michael: Yes, I shaved
the back of my neck.
366
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,658
Oh, my god. Mom, I gotta go.
367
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,822
One of my friends is getting
beaten up by some girls!
368
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:40,374
Actually, it's kind of too bad we're
not coming into work tomorrow.
369
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:42,936
I bet Michael had some elaborate
370
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,130
theme party planned,
like "scrambled egg Saturday."
371
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:50,468
More like, "hey, everyone,
let's get your boss laid" Saturday.
372
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:04,565
I have an announcement to make.
373
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:08,861
I am moving to Costa Rica.
374
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:12,198
I've thought about it
for a long time, now,
375
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,033
and I'm finally gonna do it.
376
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,540
I'm just gonna hop the
fence and jog home, then.
377
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:37,866
Those girls really
whaled on you bad.
378
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,517
Why wouldn't they let me dance?
379
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,977
Okay, I gotta go.
380
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,062
Do not take him to a hospital.
381
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:46,691
Pretty weird.
382
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,234
Do you have to go with them?
383
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,610
I do, I have to go.
384
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:50,861
Stay. Just stay, please.
385
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,071
Okay, no. I have to go.
386
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,549
Good luck against
conn college, all right?
387
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,699
Call me.
388
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,783
Uh-huh.
389
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,034
I'm not gonna call her.
390
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,178
I don't want to go back in.
391
00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,328
I know. Here we go.
392
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,127
Cleaning people. Oscar?
393
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,316
Okay, so all you need to do is
explain to them what happened,
394
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,484
'cause I think they can help us.
395
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:15,094
Why are you assuming
they only speak Spanish?
396
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,430
If they speak Spanish.
397
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,098
Oscar: Good evening.
398
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,808
We locked ourselves in.
399
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,396
(Speaking Spanish)
400
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,524
They happen to speak Spanish.
401
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,942
Lucky us.
402
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,741
This is a one-time thing.
You know that, right?
403
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,492
Dwight: Wow. All right!
404
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:39,994
Michael: This is it.
405
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,787
This is where the magic happens.
406
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,664
Nice! Very nice.
407
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:46,375
One of you can have the sofa,
and one of you can have the floor.
408
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,877
I got the sofa.
Dwight: I got sofa.
409
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,146
Dwight, I got the sofa,
I'm the boss.
410
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,588
Come on. I got floor!
411
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,232
In case anybody needs
to go to the bathroom
412
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,484
in the middle of the night, I don't
want to get my head stepped on.
413
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,844
Do you want me to sing you a
song my mother used to sing me
414
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,429
when we were sick? No.
415
00:18:58,512 --> 00:18:59,513
(Singing in German)
416
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:02,350
(Shushing) Okay, Dwight. Dwight.
417
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,853
Leave him alone. It's a lullaby.
418
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:09,190
Ryan? Ryan, we're
gonna take your clothes off.
419
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,070
Guys...
420
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,324
I think my friend Troy
might have a drug problem.
421
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,368
What do I do?
422
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,913
I think his species might have
a higher tolerance than ours.
423
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,956
Just stop.
424
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:27,958
Here's what you do.
425
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:32,963
You tell him that you're his friend
and that you're going to help him,
426
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,132
and that everything's
gonna be all right.
427
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,345
And then you put a wire on him,
428
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:42,264
and you find out
who's selling him drugs.
429
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,976
And then you get that
guy and you flip him.
430
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,771
You turn him into a snitch.
You follow that guy
431
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:51,941
to the people who're
really, really bad.
432
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:55,820
I've been watching the wire
recently. I don't understand a word of it.
433
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,154
Ryan: Guys, I'm going to sleep.
434
00:19:57,238 --> 00:20:00,324
You can leave the light on if you
want, but please stop talking, okay?
435
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,159
Okay. Good night, Ryan.
436
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:03,953
Good night, Ryan.
437
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,708
Best night ever.
438
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,543
Like I said,
439
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,754
it's not about the horniness.
It's about the loneliness.
440
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,382
And how can I be
lonely with my boys?
441
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,675
(Both snoring)
442
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,677
Like a famous person once said,
443
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,679
boys on the side.
444
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:23,681
But I don't... I disagree.
445
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:27,393
I say, let's hear
it for the boys.
446
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,452
Son of a bitch.
31185
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