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1
00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:04,213
Hey. Hey.
2
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:06,256
I got you one.
Oh, wow. Thank you.
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,525
Yeah. I'm just going
to grab some chips.
4
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:09,259
You want some? No, thanks.
5
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,969
We're still having
lunch today, right?
6
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,471
I guess.
7
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,976
How dare you.
8
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:34,618
Hey, Toby, what's this?
9
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,763
"I just want to remind everyone
about the company rules
10
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:40,415
"involving PDA, or public
displays of affection"?
11
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,126
Yes. Some people in the
office have complained...
12
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,753
Oh, really?
About some other people
13
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,338
engaging in PDA,
14
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,967
and, you know, I just want to remind
that it's not appropriate to do that.
15
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,927
Is this about me and jan
in my office?
16
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,221
Because I will have you
know that that was consensual.
17
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,558
What we did has nothing to
do with you or anyone here.
18
00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,269
I don't think anyone
heard anything.
19
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:04,481
We were very discreet and
most people had left by that point.
20
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,565
Okay... so I don't think
it's any of your business.
21
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:10,112
What I think you should do
is roll up the memo real tight...
22
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,364
Okay, hey, look, the
memo was not about you.
23
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:16,326
For the record, I have never been involved
with anyone at work in any capacity.
24
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,620
All right, everyone. Look.H_.
25
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:21,290
All right, the complaint
was about Jim and Pam.
26
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,836
No way. What?
27
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,796
You guys are together?
28
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,804
Yes, we are. Wow!
29
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,681
Awesome! Tuna!
30
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,057
I knew it. Michael: You guys!
31
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:41,393
To the two of you.
Michael: Yes! Yes!
32
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:44,605
Toby, was this your fun
little way of congratulating us?
33
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:46,982
Yes.
34
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,484
Okay, mind is exploding.
35
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,612
Get over here. Come on.
36
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:54,239
Come here. Okay.
37
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:56,074
Okay, stand up.
38
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,410
Okay, here we go.
39
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:04,625
Everyone, this is a day
that will live in infamy,
40
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:11,214
because today is the day
that Jim and Pam become one.
41
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,942
Actually we've been dating
for a couple of months.
42
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,927
I love you guys so much.
43
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,056
(Sighs)
44
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,308
(Phone ringing)
45
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,227
Phone's ringing. No, no,
no, Pam, let them ring.
46
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:28,732
Let the bells of dunder
Mifflin chime out your love,
47
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:33,570
because this is really good.
This is really good.
48
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:39,534
My heart soars
with the eagle's nest.
49
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,913
I don't see it. I think
they both could do better.
50
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:47,709
It's not a surprise to me.
Pam is the office mattress.
51
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,336
Jim Halpert's off the market.
52
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:53,048
Guess who just became the
best-looking single guy in the office?
53
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:30,085
Hey, can you make
that straighter?
54
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,796
That's what she said.
55
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,756
Did you plan that?
56
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,719
"Can you make that straighter?
57
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,637
"Thatjob looks hard.
58
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,973
"You should put
your mouth on that."
59
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,434
How can you even use
that one naturally?
60
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,352
Blowing up balloons, I thought.
61
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,646
Pam: "You mightwant
to trim it a little." Michael...
62
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,898
Oh, is Ryan coming backtoday?
63
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,234
Yeah, he is.
64
00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:00,031
Pam and Jim are together.
Ryan is visiting.
65
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,910
Only thing that could make
this day better is ice cream.
66
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,832
What do you want?
67
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,375
To give you this.
68
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,128
What is that?
69
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,671
It's a feral barn cat.
70
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,675
Itrapped him last night
and I'm giving him to you
71
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,800
as a replacement cat
for the one I destroyed.
72
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,677
Her name was sprinkles.
73
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:24,097
And his name is garbage.
74
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:27,142
Mose calls him garbage,
'cause he likes to eat garbage.
75
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,310
Don't you, garbage?
76
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,436
(Imitates chewing)
77
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,314
I can't believe you just thought
you could replace sprinkles.
78
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,357
Before she's even in the ground.
79
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,984
You haven't buried her yet?
80
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,861
Don't rush me. I'm grieving.
81
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,364
Garbage can be very helpful,
okay? He's a useful cat.
82
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:44,159
He killed an entire family
of raccoons. Look at him.
83
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:47,454
I don't want garbage.
I want sprinkles.
84
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:51,958
(Sighs)
85
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,881
(Meows)
86
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,969
Hey, Toby.
87
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,597
Hey, you two.
88
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,681
Jim: Hey.
89
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,100
So, now that we are dating,
90
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,645
we just wanted to know if
we had to sign one of those
91
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,022
"we're dating" things
for the company.
92
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:19,444
Oh, well, you know those are
only for, you know, "relationships."
93
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:23,240
So if this is just a casual
thing, there's no need.
94
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,866
Really. Oh.
95
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:28,745
Well, I won't speak for Jim,
but it's, like, pretty official.
96
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,457
Uh-huh.
97
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,920
Sorry, so do we need
to sign one or...
98
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,715
Let's just wait and
see what happens. Yeah.
99
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,385
Let's just wait. What?
100
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:45,929
Okay. Oh, okay.
101
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,138
Great.
102
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,396
(Door opens)
103
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:57,649
Hey, Ryan, welcome back...
Hold on one second.
104
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,285
Hey, Pam, it's great to
see you. Is Michael in?
105
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,620
Yeah. Michael: Hey.
There he is. There he is.
106
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,664
He's back and he's with a beard.
107
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:13,832
(Laughing)
108
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,458
He has facial hair.
109
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:19,129
Look at him. All grown
up and no place to go.
110
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:22,549
Hello, Mr. Sonny Crockett.
I'm tubbs.
111
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:24,509
Okay. Should we get started?
112
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:26,803
Oh, yeah,
let's get started because...
113
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,638
Yes, 'cause this is
very serious business.
114
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,056
Yeah. Exactly.
115
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,659
This is a business
meeting. Business meeting.
116
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:32,934
Fire guy. Stop that!
117
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,185
(Laughing) That's right.
118
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,872
Michael: That's right. Fire
guy. Ryan: Oh, you scared me.
119
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,039
He's the fire guy.
Don't start any fires.
120
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,523
(Making sound effects) Fire guy.
121
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:39,691
You weren't here for that.
122
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,359
Here for what?
When he started the fire.
123
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:46,114
Look how big he is. Look at
you. You are so mature and old
124
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:49,409
and little man now.
You're like our little man.
125
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,660
Okay... little old man-boy.
126
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,203
Michael, everybody...
With a beard.
127
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,681
Kevin: Bearded man-boy.
Michael: Wow!
128
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:56,124
Let me say something. I
know I used to be a temp here,
129
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,709
but now everything is different.
130
00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:00,337
I'd like your respect.
I am your boss now.
131
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,523
You're gonna have to treat me
the same way you treated jan.
132
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,632
Oh, wow.
133
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:06,134
Mmm. That's a little kinky.
I don't swing that way.
134
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,969
Okay. (Laughing) Woo!
135
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:09,405
I think Ryan has
a gay crush on me.
136
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,141
Enough! Okay? This is
inappropriate and it stops right now.
137
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,938
Do you understand?
138
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,356
Yes.
139
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,441
Everybody, come on, settle down.
140
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,151
Let's get serious here.
141
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:26,905
Ryan has a very special
important presentation to do,
142
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:29,532
which we will be doing in the
conference room in 10 minutes.
143
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,619
Perfect. Sound
good? Okay. All right.
144
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,037
Yeah, Ryan snapped at me.
145
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,124
But there was this twinkle in his
eye that I picked up on, which said,
146
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:41,670
"dude, we're friends. I'm
doing this for appearances.
147
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,463
"I am the big boss now,
148
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,633
"and I have to seem like
an ogre, but you know me
149
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,970
"and you trust me
and we like each other,
150
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:55,308
"and we'll always be friends and I
would never take you for granted
151
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,811
"in a million years.
152
00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:01,439
"And I miss you, man,
and I love you."
153
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,692
His words.
154
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,742
Dunder Mifflin infinity represents
a floor-to-ceiling streamlining
155
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,077
of our business model.
156
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,996
The centerpiece of the campaign
157
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,999
is a new business-to-business
website interface
158
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:22,627
that will allow us to compete
directly with big-box chains.
159
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,295
Wait a second,
160
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:27,090
last time I checked, dunder
Mifflin already has a website.
161
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:30,176
And quite frankly, I'm not
really sure what's wrong with it.
162
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,013
This is a massive overhaul.
163
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,973
We're getting younger, sleeker
164
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:38,184
and more agile with the way
that we adapt to the marketplace.
165
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,913
All essential personnel will be
issued blackberries for company use.
166
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,313
Oh, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
167
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,834
I'll stick around for a while to
help you set them up aftennards.
168
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,527
Any questions? Dwight?
169
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:51,156
What if we don't want to use a BlackBerry
because they are stupid and pointless?
170
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,490
This is company-wide, Dwight.
171
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,575
Dwight: Got it.
172
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:54,826
Ryan: Andy?
173
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,746
You should call it
dunder mifflinfinity.
174
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,831
You know,
push the words together.
175
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,416
Any other questions?
176
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:03,960
Kelly kapour?
177
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,629
Can we speak privately
about our relationship?
178
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:07,797
Thank you, everybody.
179
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,466
Ryan Howard, everybody.
180
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,842
Good job.
181
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,137
That was some fun stuff.
182
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,389
When does the website
go up? As fast as possible.
183
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,183
We want to start
retraining people asap
184
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,161
so we can hit the ground
running with the new system.
185
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,561
Cool beans.
186
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,522
We're screwed. Who is?
187
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,649
Us. You and me. The old-timers.
188
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,902
I am not old. You are old.
189
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,737
You are, like, 100.
190
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,614
You're over 40.
That's the cut-off.
191
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,824
Are you listening to
what he's saying?
192
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,827
"Retraining," "new
system, youth."
193
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:41,790
I'm telling you this kid is the
grim reaper. You deal with this
194
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:46,294
or you, me, Sammy, Phyllis, the
chick you hit with the car, we're goners.
195
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,007
I swore I wouldn't tell
anybody this, but
196
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,470
in the interest of
revealing secrets...
197
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,556
Oh, my god, this is gonna
make your brain explode.
198
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,768
Dwight and Angela
199
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,311
dafing.
200
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,188
Have been for six months.
201
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,482
Swear to god.
202
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,211
Oh, this is great. I was actually
gonna wait and tell you on your birthday,
203
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,653
but this is much more fun.
204
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:15,990
No, they have been dating
for, like, two years.
205
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:18,201
Since before your barbecue.
206
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,621
Wait, what?
207
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:23,998
You knew?
208
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:25,392
And you didn't say anything?
209
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,544
You didn't say anything to me.
210
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,004
Fair enough.
211
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:34,384
Wow. We should have started
dating, like, a long time ago.
212
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,569
Phyllis: Oh, sorry...
Can you believe that?
213
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:36,946
I didn't know you guys
were in here.
214
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,197
Oh, no. We're just sitting here.
215
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,223
I couldn't see your hands.
216
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:44,811
Hey, Pam, by the way,
it's great that you're dating.
217
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:49,899
But when a new client calls, you just have
to randomly assign them to a salesperson.
218
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:54,154
You can't base who gets new clients
on who you're sleeping with that week.
219
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,030
Okay? Okay.
220
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,366
Okay. Okay.
221
00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:02,036
And that is why we waited
so long to tell people.
222
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,507
Okay, what's up?
223
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,384
Yeah, okay, I was just...
224
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,638
After the presentation I just wanted to
make sure that vis-a-vis me in the office,
225
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,307
everything is business as usual?
226
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,809
Well, it is business,
but not as usual.
227
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,477
Yeah, no, I understand.
228
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:31,149
We're making great strides, we're
updating, but business as usual, no?
229
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,861
No. We're throwing out the entire
playbook, we're starting from scratch,
230
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:37,071
we're implementing
a brand new system.
231
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,990
Good. So we're on the same page.
232
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,242
No, we're not.
233
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,036
(Grunts)
234
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:49,667
Michael, I know exactly how much time
and manpower are wasted in this branch.
235
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:53,171
This company is getting
younger, faster and more efficient.
236
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,423
You need to prepare yourself.
237
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,219
We had a foreign exchange
student live with us when I was young
238
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:03,473
and we called him my brother
and that's what I thought he was.
239
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:09,604
And then he went home to
what is now formerly yugoslavia,
240
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:13,274
taking all of my
blue jeans with him.
241
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:16,361
And I had to spend
the entire winter in shorts.
242
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:20,281
That is what Ryan is like.
243
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,575
A fake brother
who steals your jeans.
244
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,707
So, how are you?
245
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:32,252
Awesome. I am dating
a lot of guys.
246
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,796
Good. A lot. Black guys, mostly.
247
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,506
Kelly. (Loudly) What?
248
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,510
Phyllis: Wait...
249
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,930
How do you touch just one
of these buttons at a time?
250
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,390
I don't know.
251
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,308
Did you even try?
252
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:50,979
If the kid wants to
set mine up, I'll let him.
253
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,689
I can't see half the things.
254
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,400
It's too little. Use the phone.
255
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:59,195
Kelly: I want you to tell me that
you care about me. That is what I want.
256
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,114
Ryan: Kelly, I'm your
boss now, okay?
257
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,283
You can't keep talking to
me like I'm your boyfriend.
258
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:06,619
Oh, big strong man,
fancy new whatever.
259
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,013
I don't think you
ever cared about me.
260
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,122
I never cared about you?
261
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,165
Six months ago, Karen
filippelli sent me an email,
262
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,667
asked me out, I said no,
263
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,436
because I was committed
to our relationship.
264
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,338
Vveh, I hope you're still
committed, because I'm pregnant.
265
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:23,136
And guess what, buddy?
I am keeping it.
266
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,595
Okay. Okay.
267
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,198
Do you feel prepared
to help me raise a baby?
268
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,392
I can't... I can't talk
about this right now, okay?
269
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,352
After work,
we'll go out to dinner.
270
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,229
We'll talk about it then, okay?
271
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,568
We have a date.
272
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:45,033
Hello. Hello, Dwight.
273
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,702
I've been thinking about things
274
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:53,166
and I wanted to know if you
would have dinner with me tonight.
275
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,334
Really?
276
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,585
Yes.
277
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:59,130
I'll make a reservation.
No, no. Let me cook for you.
278
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,966
Cauliflower and noodles.
Baked potato on the side.
279
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,344
I would prefer a public place.
280
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,929
See you after work.
281
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,725
(Sighs)
282
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:14,979
Hi, Pam.
283
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,564
Is Michael in? In his office.
284
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,191
You can go right in. Okay.
285
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,317
Hey. Jan.
286
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,236
Ryan. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.
287
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:26,115
So, elephant in the room,
I have your old job.
288
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:30,745
Well, not exactly my job. I
mean, I had a different title.
289
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:34,040
Oh, well, excuse me. Same
office, same responsibilities.
290
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:37,043
Different salary. You'll
get there. Don't worry.
291
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,670
Well, you look great.
292
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,381
Thank you. Thank you.
293
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,383
Scranton suits you.
294
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,218
Best decision I ever made.
295
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,470
You were let go.
296
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,098
You know, I love the beard.
Keep it forever.
297
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:52,934
Michael: Hey. Jan: Hey.
298
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:58,147
What is the actual deal with
these things in terms of testicles?
299
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,399
What?
300
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:03,236
I don't want to grow weird sperm
in case we ever want to have kids.
301
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,823
So what's Ryan doing here?
302
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,283
Oh, I don't know.
303
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,536
They're launching a
big new business plan,
304
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,413
new website... blah, blah, blah.
305
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,083
He's being a real twerp
about it, too.
306
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:22,296
It's all about youth and
agility and streamlining
307
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,060
and trying to squeeze out
the older people.
308
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,092
He's such a snake. Well...
309
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,553
I hope he gets hit
with an ageism suit.
310
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,013
What is that word?
311
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,640
Ageism?
312
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:36,936
Companies, they can't discriminate
against people due to old age.
313
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:40,040
Like a couple of years ago, we tried to
force out some of the older branch managers
314
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,607
with a mandatory retirement age.
315
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,401
And then ed truck,
your old boss,
316
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,529
threatened us with a
lawsuit, so we had to back off.
317
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,991
So older people have just as
many rights as younger people?
318
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,742
Yes, Michael.
319
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:53,995
They do.
320
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,769
Creed? Yes, sir.
321
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,731
Everything okay?
Everything's cool, dude.
322
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:25,026
I'm 30. Well,
in November, I'll be 30.
323
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,322
Is there another
meeting scheduled?
324
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,216
I was gonna do the
BlackBerry tutorial in here.
325
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,327
Michael told us to wait in
here. We don't know why.
326
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,831
Oh, man.
327
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,541
Good. We're all here.
328
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,335
We can get started. Michael.
329
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,978
Have a seat.
We're not doing this today.
330
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,505
Have a seat like everybody else.
331
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,131
Okay. This is...
332
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,799
It's still my office, Ryan.
333
00:16:55,723 --> 00:17:00,561
Well, there has been a lot
of talk about new ideas today.
334
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,856
Well, new ideas are fine,
335
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,609
but they are also illegal
336
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,320
because they are
a form of ageism.
337
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,697
What? Yes. I am right.
338
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:18,371
Did you know that, "the age
discrimination in employment act of 1967
339
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:22,333
"prohibits employment discrimination
based on age with respect to employees
340
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,377
"40 years of age or older"?
341
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,628
I did.
342
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,380
Mmm. Technically, he's right.
343
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,506
Hey, shut up, Toby.
344
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:33,427
Look, why do we, as a society,
hate old people so much?
345
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:34,554
Because they're lame.
346
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:37,473
No! Creed, no, they are not.
347
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:42,019
In fact, many cultures
revere old people
348
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:44,564
because of their
storytelling ability.
349
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,440
Like the old lady from Titanic.
350
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:51,696
Or the funny things that they
can do, like, "where's the beef?"
351
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,739
Yeah? Why do you have
the big picture up again?
352
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,592
You used that already
when you burned your foot.
353
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,034
Reusing the Ben Kingsley, too.
354
00:17:57,118 --> 00:18:00,162
I was going to put up
some new pictures,
355
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,249
but all of the ink
in the printer was gone.
356
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,750
Pam: Oh.
357
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,670
Michael Scott?
That is me. Come on in.
358
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,214
Who is this old fart?
359
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:14,635
Did you just stagger off the
street out of a box or something?
360
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,637
Who's this worthless
bag of bones?
361
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:21,267
Well, this guy is none other than
one of the founders of dunder Mifflin,
362
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,269
Mr. Robert dunder.
363
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,813
Michael: Huh? Oh, yeah.
364
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:27,982
Yes!
365
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,002
Hi, everyone. Michael, can
I talk to you for a second?
366
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,402
Sure thing.
367
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,446
Excuse me.
368
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:36,574
We have actual work to do.
369
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:37,992
Fine.
370
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,494
Then I will call David Wallace
and you can explain to him
371
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:43,873
why you threw the founder of the
company out on his ancient butt.
372
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,670
Bob, how old are you?
373
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,255
I'm 87.
374
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,799
87 years young.
375
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,427
And still active. That is great.
376
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,847
Did you know that Bob is still a
member of the board of dunder Mifflin?
377
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:03,726
Well, I haven't been
to a board meeting in years.
378
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,394
I send a proxy.
379
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,230
Ah! Still sends his own
proxy. Good for you.
380
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,192
I'm gonna live for
a very long time.
381
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,944
My grandma schrute
lived to be 101.
382
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:16,947
My grandpa manheim is 103,
383
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:19,575
and still puttering around
down in Argentina.
384
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,035
I tried to go visit him once,
385
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:24,246
but my travel visa was protested
by the shoah foundation.
386
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:27,958
I started this company in 1949.
387
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:29,043
Wow.
388
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,296
Back then it was an
industrial supplier
389
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,591
of metal brackets,
mostly, for construction.
390
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,967
Oh, boy.
391
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,386
And then Mifflin,
392
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,554
of course he killed
himself later,
393
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:43,474
uh, but I knew Mifflin
through the rotary club.
394
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:44,642
Great.
395
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,005
Dunder: (Chuckling)
And he was...
396
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:50,106
He was at dinner with Beverly
and her husband...
397
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,899
What was his name?
398
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,985
Jerry. Jerry trupianno...
I don't know.
399
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:59,323
From south Jersey
and he was tall.
400
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:02,076
Both he and Mifflin
were tall guys.
401
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:05,287
Great. That's great.
Thank you for coming in.
402
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,997
Robert dunder, everybody.
403
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:10,209
Thank you. That was wonderful.
Do you have a ride?
404
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,712
Well, I came here
in a cab. Perfect.
405
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:14,755
Could you get me that...
That's nice.
406
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,675
Inspuafional
what have we learned?
407
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:22,805
Well, we have learned that you
can't teach an old dog new tricks,
408
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:26,225
becauseitsihegal
and you will go to jail.
409
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,935
I think that I should
help him get home.
410
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:30,688
No. No, don't help him.
He doesn't need help, Pam.
411
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,406
What a nice guy.
412
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,326
(In singsong voice)
Good night, guys.
413
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,329
Well, today was a
fantastic waste of time.
414
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,415
I disagree. I think it
was very valuable.
415
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,960
Michael, technology helps business,
okay? You should not resist it.
416
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,443
This is the way
the world is moving.
417
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,381
I happen to think that the old
ways of doing business are better.
418
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,008
And I can prove it.
419
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,844
Okay. I look fonnard to
hearing your ideas.
420
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,346
Where do you want to go?
421
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,640
I don't know, some place
romantic and expensive.
422
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:08,142
Kelly, come on.
423
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:09,345
You know what, you're right.
424
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:13,189
I'm feeling kind of nauseous,
anyway. So, you know, skip it.
425
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,655
Dwight: Are you enjoying
your vegetarian noodles?
426
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,032
Very much.
427
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:25,117
How's your meat?
428
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:27,328
Dry. Delicious.
429
00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,125
I heard a joke today.
430
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:34,877
Oh, that's funny.
431
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:37,379
Yes, it was.
432
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:43,719
Are you enjoying
your mineral water?
433
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,889
I can't do this.
I can't be with you.
434
00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:52,311
Every time I look in your eyes I
see sprinkles' stiff, lifeless body.
435
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:56,982
Then don't look in my eyes. Look
right here. It's an old sales trick.
436
00:21:57,066 --> 00:22:00,486
I'm sorry. I gave this
everything I could.
437
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,905
No, please don't
do this, monkey.
438
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:06,158
I will leave your toothbrush on
top of your tire tomorrow morning.
439
00:22:13,624 --> 00:22:15,334
Smell that.
440
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:16,752
Do you smell that?
441
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:17,878
Dry rot?
442
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:21,048
No, Dwight, that smells
like good business to me.
443
00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:22,883
What I have done here
is I have collected
444
00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:26,804
all the finest gourmet items
that Scranton has to offer.
445
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,681
(Chuckling)
Sweet, chocolate turtles.
446
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:31,809
Yes. No, no, those
are for our clients.
447
00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:34,019
Actually, our ex-clients.
I'll explain later.
448
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:39,149
Ryan wants everything in our
company to be about emails and ims,
449
00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:44,154
but I think he is forgetting about
the original instant message,
450
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:49,535
letters attached to
baskets of food.
451
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:58,627
Excuse me, Angela. Michael
asked me to turn in these receipts
452
00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:00,713
for these gift basket items.
453
00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:02,798
Thank you. You're welcome.
454
00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:07,011
Isthatah? Yes.
455
00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:11,765
I miss you.
456
00:23:12,266 --> 00:23:13,434
Elevators.
457
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,687
Dwight, you have
to listen to me.
458
00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:20,858
We are not seeing each other
anymore. Can you accept that?
459
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,612
Fine.
460
00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:26,947
Then I just want to be friends.
461
00:23:27,031 --> 00:23:28,032
Good.
462
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,701
Plus a little extra.
Also, I love you.
463
00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:34,496
(Angela sighs)
464
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:35,724
I don't understand
what the big deal is.
465
00:23:35,748 --> 00:23:36,749
You don't? No.
466
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:38,542
You lied about being
pregnant. Right. So?
467
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:41,021
You really don't understand why
that might make me kind of angry?
468
00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:43,255
We're never getting
back together. No.
469
00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:44,590
Why not?
470
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,344
Hey.
471
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,012
Hey.
472
00:23:51,889 --> 00:23:55,225
All right, I just have to
ask, now that we're public,
473
00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:58,646
is the magic gone?
474
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,942
It's funny you bring that up
because, yes, it is.
475
00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:08,364
I knew it. Oh, man.
Just like that, huh?
476
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:12,493
I think, I mean, I don't
know what it is, but...
477
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:16,789
Be honest.
I now find you repulsive.
478
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,290
That's honest.
479
00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:19,375
(Sighing)
480
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:21,377
All right. Fair enough.
481
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:26,966
It was really fun while it
lasted, though, wasn't it?
482
00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:28,509
(Indifferently) Yeah.
483
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:30,135
For me it was.
484
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:31,595
Okay.
485
00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:32,930
All right.
486
00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:38,852
Yeah.
487
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:41,230
Hey, boss, I didn't know
you were coming in today.
488
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:43,065
What is going on here?
489
00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:44,316
I am glad that you asked.
490
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,235
Listen up, everybody.
491
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:50,864
In the last year, we have lost
seven clients to the big chains.
492
00:24:50,948 --> 00:24:54,743
These gift baskets are our
ticket back into their lives.
493
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:56,161
We are going to show up
494
00:24:56,245 --> 00:25:00,290
at these businesses unannounced
and we are going to win them back.
495
00:25:00,374 --> 00:25:01,375
With gift baskets?
496
00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:03,460
With peanut brittle,
497
00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:08,590
with macadamia nut cookies,
with chocolate turtles,
498
00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:14,179
with raspberryjam, and
a little bit of fat and salt.
499
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:16,932
Because you know what?
That's what people like.
500
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:18,767
Ever since I was a kid,
501
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:21,061
people have been telling
me that I can't do things.
502
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:22,938
"You can't be on the team.
503
00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,857
"You can't move on
to second grade."
504
00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:29,069
Well, now they're telling me
that I can't win back clients
505
00:25:29,153 --> 00:25:31,488
using old-fashioned
business methods.
506
00:25:31,572 --> 00:25:33,115
We'll see about that.
507
00:25:34,408 --> 00:25:38,954
And fyi, I eventually aced second
grade, and I was the biggest kid in class.
508
00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:45,294
Okay, we're gonna split up into teams.
Jim, Phyllis. Stanley, Dwight. Me, Andy.
509
00:25:45,627 --> 00:25:47,296
I'm not driving with him.
510
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:49,048
I'll go with you,
Stanley. Or him.
511
00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:50,233
Why don't we just go
by ourselves?
512
00:25:50,257 --> 00:25:53,594
Why don't we just go as teams to
demonstrate our teamsmanship?
513
00:25:53,677 --> 00:25:54,762
Phyllis: Michael? Yes.
514
00:25:54,845 --> 00:25:56,513
This is stupid.
Well, that's... okay.
515
00:25:56,597 --> 00:25:58,140
That's not helpful, Phyllis.
516
00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:01,101
How is giving people gift baskets
going to get our clients back?
517
00:26:01,185 --> 00:26:03,353
Gift baskets are
amazing, Phyllis.
518
00:26:03,437 --> 00:26:06,106
Gift baskets are
519
00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:10,444
the essence of class
and fanciness.
520
00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:13,197
They are the ultimate present
that a person can receive.
521
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,425
What about cash? With cash
you can buy whatever you want,
522
00:26:15,449 --> 00:26:19,328
including a gift basket. So,
it's kind of the best gift ever.
523
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:21,038
What about a gift basket
full of cash?
524
00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:23,874
Yes. Cash basket.
Nice work, tuna.
525
00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:25,417
Fine. I'm just gonna
go by myself.
526
00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:29,755
And I am going to win them back by
myself because this is important to me.
527
00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:32,049
Michael, wait.
528
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:33,801
Let me go.
529
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,345
No, this is my quest.
530
00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:38,806
Please. Let me go.
531
00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:41,934
I need to win
those clients back.
532
00:26:42,476 --> 00:26:43,519
Please.
533
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:44,853
Michael: Fine.
534
00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:48,232
Then godspeed to both of us.
535
00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:50,984
Good luck, Michael.
536
00:26:51,068 --> 00:26:53,320
We don't need luck.
537
00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:55,364
Dwight: Yeah. But thank you.
538
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,342
That was really nice of you
to say. Dwight: Thank you.
539
00:26:57,366 --> 00:26:59,868
Business to business,
the old-fashioned way,
540
00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:02,371
no blackberries, no websites.
541
00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:07,835
I would like to see a website
deliver baskets of food to people.
542
00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:11,755
Yes, I understand that, David.
543
00:27:11,839 --> 00:27:14,258
I just felt that if we
were to downsize Kelly
544
00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:18,137
and then outsource customer service
to India, which a lot of companies...
545
00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:21,515
Yeah. No. Yes, Kelly is Indian.
546
00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:23,642
I understand that's confusing.
547
00:27:24,518 --> 00:27:26,353
Hey, bro, I've been
meaning to ask you,
548
00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:28,438
can we get some
red bull for these things?
549
00:27:28,522 --> 00:27:32,609
Sometimes a guy's got to ride
the bull. Am I right? Later, skater.
550
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:38,365
Sweet ride. American-made.
551
00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:39,783
What happened to the sebring?
552
00:27:39,867 --> 00:27:42,077
It is in the body shop.
553
00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:45,223
I had to have the dent taken out
of the hood where I hit Meredith.
554
00:27:45,247 --> 00:27:46,456
Oh, that's a pain in the ass.
555
00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:47,624
I know.
556
00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:49,501
So, who's next? Larry meyers.
557
00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:52,504
Left us six months ago
for office depot.
558
00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:56,717
Female voice: Proceed to the highlighted
route, then route guidance will begin.
559
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,177
Why do you use that thing?
560
00:27:58,260 --> 00:28:00,137
It lets them know where
you are at all times.
561
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:01,388
Who?
562
00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:05,601
The government, spy
satellites, private detectives,
563
00:28:06,393 --> 00:28:07,936
ex-girlfriends.
564
00:28:10,230 --> 00:28:11,648
(Sobbing)
565
00:28:15,777 --> 00:28:16,778
(Sobbing continues)
566
00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:20,782
Next night, I'm out at a bar, 2:00
am. I figure I'll get a sandwich,
567
00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:23,035
'cause you can get a
sandwich any time of the night,
568
00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:24,745
I run into Vince Vaughn.
569
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:26,205
No way.
570
00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:27,372
Literally.
571
00:28:27,456 --> 00:28:30,083
Dude, you are so money,
572
00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:33,045
but you don't even
know it, but you do.
573
00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:36,256
Yeah. Later, guys.
574
00:28:36,340 --> 00:28:38,467
Later, dude. Later, man.
575
00:28:39,885 --> 00:28:41,178
(Sighs in amazement)
576
00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:45,599
Jim, how awesome is Ryan now?
577
00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:48,018
Yeah. He's definitely something.
578
00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:49,728
What does that mean?
579
00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:53,106
That whole lifestyle, his whole
vibe, you find that appealing?
580
00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:54,358
(Scoffs)
581
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:55,525
Tuna.
582
00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:57,027
(Inhales deeply)
583
00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:58,237
Tuna, tuna, tuna.
584
00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,863
Tuna, tuna, tuna.
585
00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:03,617
He has a killerjob. He's rich.
586
00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:07,537
He smells like what I think Pierce
brosnan probably smells like.
587
00:29:07,621 --> 00:29:10,207
He wears really cool
rich-guy clothes.
588
00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:13,877
And he can get
any girl that he wants.
589
00:29:13,961 --> 00:29:17,339
So, I'm sorry, tuna, but if you
don't know why that's awesome,
590
00:29:17,631 --> 00:29:18,715
then
591
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:21,718
you need awesome lessons.
592
00:29:21,802 --> 00:29:23,971
Tuna, check you later.
593
00:29:25,055 --> 00:29:27,683
'Cause he's so money
that he doesn't even know it.
594
00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:30,185
Wow, those things are heavy.
595
00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:32,354
There's a lot of stuff in there.
596
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:36,608
We have macadamia nut cookies,
597
00:29:37,401 --> 00:29:39,194
the honey mustard pretzels.
598
00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:42,072
Have you ever
tried focaccia crisps?
599
00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:43,925
You know we closed our
account with you, right?
600
00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:45,993
Yes. We do. We're
with office depot now.
601
00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:47,703
Yes. Yes. Yes, we know.
602
00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:50,038
But we just have not
gotten over you. Well...
603
00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:53,208
And we are dedicated to providing
you with the very best customer service...
604
00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:54,584
This is... the very best
605
00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:57,254
personal business
relationship... that's exactly right.
606
00:29:57,337 --> 00:29:59,840
We can if you ever
decide to come back to us.
607
00:29:59,923 --> 00:30:02,384
Okay. I don't think
we're coming back.
608
00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:04,803
Please come back.
Okay, you know what?
609
00:30:04,886 --> 00:30:06,596
Just enjoy the gift basket
610
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:10,183
and remember that we provide
a personal touch.
611
00:30:10,267 --> 00:30:11,977
Remember what we had, Larry.
612
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:13,812
I mean, really,
it's about money.
613
00:30:13,895 --> 00:30:16,023
Well, just enjoy
the gift basket.
614
00:30:16,732 --> 00:30:18,358
Okay, thanks. All right.
615
00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:20,322
I mean, their website's
really easy to use, too.
616
00:30:20,402 --> 00:30:22,112
That's a big deal for us.
617
00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:25,365
That guy was so...
618
00:30:26,616 --> 00:30:28,535
How can they not know
how much better we are?
619
00:30:28,618 --> 00:30:30,912
I don't know. Sometimes
people are just impossible
620
00:30:30,996 --> 00:30:32,706
and they make you
miserable. That is true.
621
00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:34,207
Like Angela in accounting.
622
00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:35,459
Yes. She is nuts.
623
00:30:35,542 --> 00:30:36,585
(Groans)
624
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:39,463
No, she's wonderful
ataccounfing.
625
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,631
But she drives me crazy.
626
00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:44,968
Female voice:
Make the next right turn.
627
00:30:45,052 --> 00:30:47,346
How do they know? How
does this know where to turn?
628
00:30:47,429 --> 00:30:49,056
That's very impressive.
629
00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:50,974
Hey, Pam,
630
00:30:51,058 --> 00:30:54,311
I haven't settled on a final design
logo yet for dunder Mifflin infinity
631
00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:56,188
and I know you're
into graphic design.
632
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:58,857
Do you want to give it a shot?
Maybe try and design the logo.
633
00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:00,567
Totally. Cool.
634
00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:02,486
That would be great.
635
00:31:02,611 --> 00:31:04,738
Can you do a couple mock-ups
and I'll take a look?
636
00:31:04,821 --> 00:31:05,864
Yeah. Thank you very much.
637
00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:06,990
Thank you. Cool.
638
00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:08,158
Okay.
639
00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:18,752
Yeah, I'm going to do some mock-ups
and then turn those into thumbnails,
640
00:31:18,919 --> 00:31:22,714
maybe do some splash frames...
641
00:31:22,798 --> 00:31:25,717
I don't know what I'm
talking about, but I'm excited.
642
00:31:26,093 --> 00:31:29,554
And the last guy says,
"no, hairy body."
643
00:31:29,638 --> 00:31:31,056
You know,
I have heard it before.
644
00:31:31,139 --> 00:31:34,309
Ah. Well, it's still very good.
645
00:31:34,393 --> 00:31:35,394
(Man chuckling)
646
00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:37,979
I bet I know someone
who hasn't heard thatjoke,
647
00:31:38,063 --> 00:31:39,523
your daughter Emily.
648
00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:40,690
How's she doing?
649
00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:43,193
She's great. Thanks for asking.
650
00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:44,820
Great memory, by the way.
651
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:47,197
Is she gonna be,
like, 11 this winter?
652
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,699
Wow. They grow up so fast.
653
00:31:49,825 --> 00:31:52,369
I have a few of my own
that I want someday.
654
00:31:53,995 --> 00:31:55,598
Listen, I don't want to take
any more of your time.
655
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:56,766
I know you're a very busy man.
656
00:31:56,790 --> 00:31:59,292
The reason we have
stopped by is to drop you off
657
00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:04,339
this elaborate bag of goodies
and to ask you to reconsider.
658
00:32:04,423 --> 00:32:05,841
(Chuckling) Okay.
659
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:08,343
Okay. Okay.
So you'll reconsider?
660
00:32:08,635 --> 00:32:10,345
Okay, thanks for the goodies.
661
00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:19,271
Isthatah you have to say?
662
00:32:20,730 --> 00:32:22,858
It looks delicious.
I don't know.
663
00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:24,484
You don't know?
664
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:28,780
Look, we want you back.
665
00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:31,283
Can you offer lower prices?
666
00:32:31,366 --> 00:32:32,534
Well, no.
667
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:33,845
Well, then,
we're not coming back.
668
00:32:33,869 --> 00:32:35,304
He's not coming back.
It's over, Michael.
669
00:32:35,328 --> 00:32:36,705
No, it's not. No, he's right.
670
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,373
No. Accept it. Why
would he come back?
671
00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:40,917
Why would he come back?
I will tell you, Dwight.
672
00:32:41,001 --> 00:32:45,630
He would come back because we
offer a wide selection of products,
673
00:32:45,714 --> 00:32:48,526
and because you're definitely not
getting the same sort of customer service
674
00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:49,610
that you get with us, are you?
675
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:50,903
That's not gonna
change his mind.
676
00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:53,930
He's moving on. We had
our chance and we killed it.
677
00:32:56,850 --> 00:32:58,143
(Sighs)
678
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:00,395
Look.
679
00:33:03,273 --> 00:33:06,109
We're also coming out
with a website soon.
680
00:33:06,193 --> 00:33:08,028
It's a state-of-the-art thing.
681
00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:10,113
It'll be up and running.
682
00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:15,827
It's gonna cut costs, and itwill
make ordering much, much easier.
683
00:33:15,911 --> 00:33:18,246
Okay. Well, when it's up,
I'll check it out,
684
00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:21,208
and if it really cuts costs,
maybe we'll come back.
685
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,503
Great. The magic of
the gift basket.
686
00:33:24,586 --> 00:33:26,129
That I don't care about as much.
687
00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:27,273
Let me know when the site's up.
688
00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:29,424
Okay. Good.
689
00:33:30,175 --> 00:33:33,553
Don't let Emily have any of the
cajun almonds. She's allergic.
690
00:33:35,931 --> 00:33:37,849
Female voice: Proceed straight.
691
00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:39,935
Well, we're 0 for 6.
692
00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:42,270
Lastchanceisthe
elmhurst country club.
693
00:33:42,938 --> 00:33:44,773
Other side of the lake
on the southeast side.
694
00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:46,274
(Sighing) I don't get it.
695
00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:49,277
I really don't get it.
I thought this would work.
696
00:33:49,736 --> 00:33:52,030
I threw everything I had
at that guy and nothing.
697
00:33:52,113 --> 00:33:54,366
That's how it goes
sometimes, you know?
698
00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:57,827
You lose everything
and everything falls apart
699
00:33:57,911 --> 00:33:59,704
and eventually you die
700
00:33:59,788 --> 00:34:00,997
and no one remembers you.
701
00:34:01,081 --> 00:34:02,624
That is a very
good point, Dwight.
702
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:04,376
Female voice: Make a right turn.
703
00:34:05,085 --> 00:34:08,380
Wait, wait. No, no, no.
It means bear right.
704
00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:11,383
No. It said right. It said
take a right. Up there.
705
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:12,676
No, no, no, look.
706
00:34:12,759 --> 00:34:16,513
It means go up to the right,
bear right over the bridge
707
00:34:16,596 --> 00:34:17,597
and hook up with 307.
708
00:34:17,681 --> 00:34:19,575
Female voice: Make a right
turn. Maybe it's a shortcut, Dwight.
709
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:20,600
It said go to the right.
710
00:34:20,684 --> 00:34:21,685
It can't mean that.
711
00:34:21,768 --> 00:34:22,828
There's a lake there! I think it
712
00:34:22,852 --> 00:34:24,413
knows where it is going.
This is the lake!
713
00:34:24,437 --> 00:34:25,706
The machine knows!
This is the lake!
714
00:34:25,730 --> 00:34:27,107
Stop yelling at me! No!
715
00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:29,734
Stop yelling!
There's no road here!
716
00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:33,989
Remain calm.
I have trained for this.
717
00:34:34,364 --> 00:34:35,490
Okay.
718
00:34:35,574 --> 00:34:37,367
Exit the window! Here we go.
719
00:34:37,450 --> 00:34:40,078
Female voice:
Make a u-turn, if possible.
720
00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:42,205
Look out for leeches!
721
00:34:42,289 --> 00:34:44,833
Michael! Are you okay?
722
00:34:44,958 --> 00:34:49,129
Swim for it! I got you.Lgotyou.
723
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:52,215
Oh, god.
724
00:34:52,299 --> 00:34:54,259
Michael! Michael!
725
00:34:54,342 --> 00:34:55,594
Let go. Let go of me.
726
00:34:55,677 --> 00:34:56,886
Michael.
727
00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:01,683
Dwight: I got you! I got you!
728
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:04,936
Come on. Come on. Come on.
729
00:35:07,397 --> 00:35:08,607
Come on.
730
00:35:33,214 --> 00:35:34,591
You sure you're okay?
731
00:35:34,674 --> 00:35:35,967
Fine.
732
00:35:36,051 --> 00:35:39,387
Good. That is what's
most important.
733
00:35:40,221 --> 00:35:42,557
Did you get the
rental insurance?
734
00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:45,727
Because that is pretty
important, too, at a time like this.
735
00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:56,071
What a disaster.
This whole thing.
736
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:58,865
I'll call a cab.
737
00:35:58,948 --> 00:36:03,745
These people just don't realize what
a gift basket means. They don't get it.
738
00:36:03,828 --> 00:36:05,872
Look at that. Still works.
Old-fashioned cell phone.
739
00:36:05,955 --> 00:36:09,125
Yeah. What about that
last guy, Aaron?
740
00:36:09,209 --> 00:36:12,962
Boy, is he a jerk. I don't
even know if I want it.
741
00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:15,215
"Their website is so easy."
742
00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:18,968
Yeah, well, you can have
your technology, jackass.
743
00:36:19,052 --> 00:36:20,095
Look where it got us.
744
00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:22,514
Yes, we need a cab
at lake Scranton
745
00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:25,141
at the end of east
mountain road, inthelake.
746
00:36:25,225 --> 00:36:26,476
Hang up.
747
00:36:27,227 --> 00:36:28,978
You know what we're gonna do?
748
00:36:29,062 --> 00:36:30,689
We're walking back.
749
00:36:30,772 --> 00:36:32,482
We're walking back
to that office
750
00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:35,985
and we're going to
reclaim our gift basket.
751
00:36:36,069 --> 00:36:39,072
Yes. We're going to
take what's rightfully ours.
752
00:36:39,155 --> 00:36:41,366
We're gonna take
a stand, Dwight.
753
00:36:43,076 --> 00:36:44,994
We're gonna take a stand!
Take a stand!
754
00:36:45,328 --> 00:36:47,640
So it plays on the infinity thing
without being obvious, you know?
755
00:36:47,664 --> 00:36:49,165
Ryan: Yeah. Definitely.
756
00:36:49,249 --> 00:36:51,167
I'd love to do like
a color version,
757
00:36:51,251 --> 00:36:53,420
just bring a little
color to it. I like it a lot.
758
00:36:53,503 --> 00:36:55,505
It's clear and subtle
at the same time.
759
00:36:55,588 --> 00:36:58,174
It's really good. You have
a real talent for this stuff.
760
00:36:58,258 --> 00:37:00,802
Thanks. I'd love to talk
to you about it more.
761
00:37:00,885 --> 00:37:01,970
That would be great.
762
00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:04,139
Do you want to go
out to dinner tonight?
763
00:37:05,390 --> 00:37:06,891
Oh, is it...
764
00:37:06,975 --> 00:37:08,727
Wear something nice. No.
765
00:37:08,810 --> 00:37:09,894
What?
766
00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:11,688
I just... I'm sorry.
767
00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:13,231
I just want to have dinner.
768
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,942
I'm dating Jim.
769
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:18,903
You're kidding.
770
00:37:22,532 --> 00:37:23,825
We're together.
771
00:37:24,951 --> 00:37:28,872
That's great. I...
That's awesome.
772
00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:30,331
Yeah. Great.
773
00:37:34,669 --> 00:37:36,129
So, let me... yeah.
774
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:38,381
Let me look at these.
Okay. Great.
775
00:37:38,465 --> 00:37:39,883
Cool. Great.
776
00:37:47,849 --> 00:37:51,853
I guess he can't get
any girl he wants.
777
00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:04,073
Did you forget something?
What happened to you guys?
778
00:38:04,157 --> 00:38:05,575
Give it back.
779
00:38:07,702 --> 00:38:09,329
The gift basket. Give it back.
780
00:38:09,412 --> 00:38:10,455
Oh, what is this?
781
00:38:10,538 --> 00:38:11,706
It's real simple.
782
00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:15,710
If you don't appreciate what we
do, then give us back our basket.
783
00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:17,796
Maybe you should leave.
784
00:38:17,879 --> 00:38:20,048
Yeah. Maybe we should...
785
00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:22,258
Maybe we should leave.
Come on, let's leave.
786
00:38:22,342 --> 00:38:23,426
But before we leave,
787
00:38:23,510 --> 00:38:28,264
my wet friend and I are gonna wait
for our cabs on your nice couches.
788
00:38:28,348 --> 00:38:31,518
Can you call us a cab, please?
I'm gonna... sorry.
789
00:38:31,601 --> 00:38:33,311
Michael: My clothes are so wet.
790
00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:34,771
Dwight: Nice leather.
791
00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:37,315
Oh, my shoes are so muddy.
792
00:38:37,398 --> 00:38:39,984
All right, here you go.
Take it back.
793
00:38:40,068 --> 00:38:41,653
It's been opened.
Yeah, it was mine.
794
00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:45,156
What's missing? The turtles.
795
00:38:45,448 --> 00:38:46,509
Summer sausage.
Where are the turtles?
796
00:38:46,533 --> 00:38:48,552
Where are the turtles?
Come on, guys, get out of here.
797
00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:53,331
Where are the turtles?
Where are they?
798
00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:54,558
Excuse me, I have an
announcement to make.
799
00:38:54,582 --> 00:38:57,502
We seem to be missing a box
of chocolate turtles with pecans
800
00:38:57,585 --> 00:39:00,129
and we will not be leaving the
premises until we obtain them.
801
00:39:00,213 --> 00:39:03,716
Hand over the turtles now!
802
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:07,220
I ate them, okay? I ate
the turtles. They're gone.
803
00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:22,068
We'll bill you.
804
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:27,407
May I have your
attention, please?
805
00:39:27,490 --> 00:39:31,494
This office will not be using
any new technology ever.
806
00:39:31,578 --> 00:39:33,663
Starting now.
That is not correct.
807
00:39:33,746 --> 00:39:38,167
Ryan thinks that technology is
the answer. Well, guess what?
808
00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:40,211
I just drove my car into a lake.
809
00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:41,462
You did what?
810
00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:45,592
I drove my car
into a (bleep) Lake.
811
00:39:46,885 --> 00:39:49,679
Why, you may ask, did I do this?
812
00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:51,973
Well, because of a machine.
813
00:39:52,056 --> 00:39:56,644
A machine told me to
drive into a lake. And I did it.
814
00:39:56,728 --> 00:40:01,107
I did it because I trusted
Ryan's precious technology.
815
00:40:01,190 --> 00:40:02,317
And look where it got me.
816
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:03,401
Into a lake.
817
00:40:03,484 --> 00:40:04,485
Exactly.
818
00:40:04,569 --> 00:40:06,571
Did you get any clients back?
819
00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,781
Maybe. Maybe not.
820
00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:10,158
Time will tell.
821
00:40:10,825 --> 00:40:13,578
But I will tell you one thing,
those gift baskets
822
00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:16,331
never endangered
anybody's lives.
823
00:40:20,209 --> 00:40:21,836
Game, set, match.
824
00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:26,966
Point. Scott. Game over.
825
00:40:29,218 --> 00:40:30,470
End of game.
826
00:40:39,145 --> 00:40:40,772
(Bottles rattling)
827
00:40:41,481 --> 00:40:44,400
Michael: Everyone always
wants new things.
828
00:40:44,943 --> 00:40:48,863
Everybody likes new
inventions, new technology.
829
00:40:49,405 --> 00:40:52,158
People will never be
replaced by machines.
830
00:40:52,241 --> 00:40:56,537
In the end, life and business
are about human connections.
831
00:40:57,747 --> 00:41:01,918
And computers are about
trying to murder you in a lake.
832
00:41:02,794 --> 00:41:04,963
And to me the choice is easy.
833
00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:12,804
I'm not saying I had a
meteoric rise, but I did.
834
00:41:13,513 --> 00:41:17,350
And if they knew how much I
was paying for my haircut now,
835
00:41:17,433 --> 00:41:19,644
they wouldn't be
giving me a noogie.
836
00:41:20,853 --> 00:41:22,188
It was $200.
59110
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