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1
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♪♪
2
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-I don't normally
hook up with guys
3
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I meet at parties, but...
4
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you're so different.
5
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:25,547
Ah!
6
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Ooh!
7
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[ Giggles ]
8
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[ Gasps ]
9
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Condoms are so '80s.
10
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Do it!
11
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I want you to roll down on me.
12
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:40,736
Oh!
13
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Oh!
14
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,609
[ Moans ]
15
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-Mom! Mom!
16
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-Yes?!
17
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-Everything all right?
18
00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:55,055
-Yeah.
19
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:56,491
What's all this?
20
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:57,970
-It's my physical.
21
00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:01,539
To ensure that I'm fit
for interstellar travel.
22
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:04,151
Or something.
Ow!
23
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:07,067
-Christopher,
I'm sorry I never told you.
24
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-My whole life,
you gave me shit for my eating.
25
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And it wasn't even my fault.
26
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It was your fault.
27
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You know?
28
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'Cause you fucked an alien.
Ow!
29
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,863
Do you have a license
to practice medicine?
30
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:22,865
Mom, you always made me hate
who I am,
31
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because I remind you
of your mistake.
32
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Well, I'm not a mistake.
33
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Mr. President says
I'm gonna be worshipped.
34
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-[ Laughing ] Worshipped.
35
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You're not actually thinking
of going with them?
36
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-Why not?
37
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On Earth, girls
don't talk to me.
38
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Dickheads like Ethan pummel me.
39
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Hell, you can barely look at me.
40
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-Christopher,
that's not true.
41
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I love you, but you can't just
run away with these monsters.
42
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-I am one of these monsters.
43
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♪♪
44
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♪♪
45
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Hi, Mr. President.
46
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-Call me "Dad."
47
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And this is your new mother,
Chancellor Eileen.
48
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-[ Chatters ]
49
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-Chancellor Eileen has been
very excited to meet you.
50
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-Hi, Mom.
51
00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,053
Dad, I wanna come live with you.
52
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-Excellent.
53
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,709
-You can't trust
these ankle-biters, Pork Chop.
54
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They're just using you.
55
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-Don't listen to her.
56
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:29,932
The only reason she's trying
to stop you is because
57
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:33,936
she can't believe someone
actually sees you as special.
58
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-They traveled
halfway across the galaxy
59
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to find me.
60
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That's what a real family's
supposed to do.
61
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Take her away.
62
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-Hold on, hold on.
63
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:44,555
You wanna talk about family?
64
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:47,776
What about what happened
to Uncle Murray?
65
00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:49,386
-Wait, what happened
to Uncle Murray?
66
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-Your new little family
here, they killed him.
67
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:56,611
[ Beeping ]
68
00:02:56,741 --> 00:03:00,310
-Ahh.
69
00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:01,746
-We want the Crite hybrid.
70
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:04,053
-Go fuck yourself.
71
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,099
-Holt! You son of a bitch!
72
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,753
You said you were
gonna protect him!
73
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:11,365
-Which is exactly
what I'm gonna do.
74
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:13,584
You're too late, Bounty Hunter.
75
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:16,065
-We thought
you might say that.
76
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,328
-Don't touch me! Asshole.
77
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-Christopher! Is that you?
78
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-Dana.
79
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-They turned him into a monster.
80
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:26,684
Cool!
Yo, are you on a spaceship?
81
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,034
-You may not hesitate
to leave your classmates
82
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:30,775
behind on Earth,
83
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,213
but will you choose
to condemn them to death?
84
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:34,823
-Wait. What?
85
00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:37,434
-If you do not return,
we will terminate them.
86
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:41,351
-Such a tough call.
Shit.
87
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:44,615
Chris, you gotta come back, man!
They're not playing!
88
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:47,879
-Christopher, please!
I'm sorry I didn't believe you!
89
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:50,012
-Okay. We have to go back.
90
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:53,276
-Absolutely not.
We have what we came for.
91
00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:55,800
Set a course
for our home planet.
92
00:03:58,977 --> 00:03:59,978
-We have to rescue them.
93
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,415
-No.
94
00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:02,807
-You don't have to come with me.
95
00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:04,113
Can't you just drop me off
or something?
96
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,810
-Christopher,
you are the key
97
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:08,291
to the next step
in Crite evolution.
98
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,815
A rescue mission
is just too dangerous.
99
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:13,165
-So? It was dangerous to come
and rescue me and you did it.
100
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:17,344
-But these human creatures,
they are not your family.
101
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:18,475
-Yes, they are.
102
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,347
-Then I am truly sorry,
103
00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:23,785
for nothing can be done
to save them.
104
00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:26,657
-I wouldn't bet on that.
105
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,920
-What are you holding?
106
00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:30,487
-Breath mints,
107
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:34,317
one of the deadliest poisons
known to man.
108
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:38,190
I keep 'em with me, just in case
I get taken against my will.
109
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,671
Just one tablet
is enough to kill me.
110
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,630
-Nonsense.
111
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,807
You will not destroy yourself
for the sake of these beings.
112
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:51,813
♪♪
113
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,250
-[ Chattering ]
114
00:04:54,381 --> 00:05:02,476
♪♪
115
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,348
-Ah! No! My son!
116
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:10,048
Crites!
My son has great conviction.
117
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,355
As we returned to rescue him,
118
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:17,491
so too shall we return
to save his comrades.
119
00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:18,796
-That's more like it.
120
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:19,928
-Wait.
Are you just gonna let him throw
121
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:21,756
himself to the bounty hunters?
122
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:25,325
-He will not be going alone.
123
00:05:31,287 --> 00:05:32,984
[ Speaks alien language ]
124
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-Christopher...
125
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,350
If you're gonna do this,
126
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,396
meet them someplace
public, okay?
127
00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:54,528
-I know.
128
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:57,052
-[ Speaking alien language ]
129
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:05,713
Tonight, we eat!
130
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:12,981
♪♪
131
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:16,027
-As expected, this contest
is no contest at all.
132
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:19,683
Maximum Doug Armstrong
is devouring the competition.
133
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,599
I am seriously going to vomit
just watching this.
134
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:31,173
-We must be
prepared for anything.
135
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:32,914
We don't know what this
"Christopher" is capable of.
136
00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:34,829
-And another six dogs down.
137
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:37,440
No one here is even close
to Maximum Doug.
138
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:38,963
I'm not sure there's anyone
in the universe
139
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,748
who could out-eat
the reigning champ.
140
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:50,758
♪♪
141
00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:53,369
-Chris!
-Dude!
142
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,938
Now, that's an entrance!
143
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:58,940
-Let's do this!
144
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:08,950
♪♪
145
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:18,829
♪♪
146
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:28,839
♪♪
147
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:33,148
♪♪
9789
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