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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:16,625 ♪♪ 2 00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:23,240 -All right, Assistant Principal Weber. 3 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:24,763 You wanna tell me why the Sotto Valley 4 00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:27,157 High School cafeteria looks like a war zone? 5 00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:33,468 Why you're dressed like a delivery man? 6 00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:35,078 And what the hell this is? 7 00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:44,435 ♪♪ 8 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:52,182 ♪♪ 9 00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:54,141 -We must stop the Crites 10 00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:57,144 and destroy Christopher Stewart. 11 00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,320 -I think we need to call somebody. 12 00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:00,582 -Who? 13 00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:03,672 -I don't know! Just call somebody. 14 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:05,326 -Jesus Christ. 15 00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:09,286 What the hell is going on? 16 00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:11,419 -Deputy! You have to do something! 17 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,247 -What? 18 00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:14,944 -Our friend and his mom have been kidnapped by these... 19 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,815 by these terrible little critters! 20 00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,295 -Not know. 21 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:31,134 ♪♪ 22 00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,963 -Pork Chop... we're coming for you. 23 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,052 -Mom? What's going on? What are these things? 24 00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:37,532 [ Electricity crackles ] 25 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,101 -Oh, my God. You're okay! 26 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:45,235 -I'm not sure that we're okay, but... 27 00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:47,716 -Oh, shit! Where's Holt? 28 00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:49,326 -The delivery guy? 29 00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:51,807 This is not the time to be thinking about sex. 30 00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:53,809 -He's not a delivery guy. 31 00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:56,072 He's a shape-shifting intergalactic bounty hunter. 32 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,900 He went into the school to try to save you. 33 00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,642 -What are you talking about? Nobody came to save me. 34 00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,992 Mr. Weber threatened to kill me with a golf club. 35 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,213 -Kill you? Wait. Wait, wait. 36 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:09,041 Was Mr. Weber wearing a delivery uniform? 37 00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:10,608 -Yeah. Why? 38 00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:13,742 -My God, that wasn't Mr. Weber. That was Holt. 39 00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:15,439 I thought that son of a bitch was gonna protect you, 40 00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:16,745 not try to kill you. 41 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,050 -Okay. I'm confused. 42 00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,878 Why the hell would anyone want to kill me? 43 00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:22,316 -I don't know. Maybe because you're... 44 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,448 -Because I'm what? -You're...Oh! 45 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,407 [ Beeping ] 46 00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:34,719 ♪♪ 47 00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:43,685 ♪♪ 48 00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:48,255 What is that smell? 49 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:50,257 -That was just me. 50 00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:51,649 -Christopher, come on, seriously? 51 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,129 -I'm nervous, okay? 52 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,175 We're in a fucking spaceship, Mom. 53 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:04,445 -[ Screaming ] 54 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,422 -Oh, my God. 55 00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,337 It's you. 56 00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:30,035 -"You"? Who? 57 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:33,082 -Uh... 58 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,085 -Welcome home, Christopher. 59 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,914 I'm sure you have many questions. 60 00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:40,176 -Yeah. 61 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:43,179 -Veronica, you look well. 62 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,355 -How does he know your name? 63 00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:47,139 Mom, how the fuck does he know your name? 64 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,445 -Uh... 65 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,795 -We have traveled thousands of miles 66 00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:54,930 and braved many dangers to find you. 67 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,192 -Me? Why do you wanna find me? 68 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,325 -You haven't told him? 69 00:03:58,455 --> 00:03:59,717 -No. Please. 70 00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,415 -Told me what? 71 00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:03,591 -You've always felt different, haven't you? 72 00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:04,766 -Yes. -Okay, stop. 73 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,376 He's not ready for this. 74 00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:09,553 -Haven't you ever wondered why every waking moment 75 00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:13,209 is consumed with the idea of feasting, 76 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:17,735 yet, no matter how much you eat, your hunger still burns? 77 00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,955 -Okay, I've always been a bit peckish, but -- 78 00:04:20,085 --> 00:04:22,392 -Christopher, there's a reason your appetite 79 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,046 is never satisfied. 80 00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:25,961 -Yeah, my mom says that I have no self-control. 81 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:29,617 -Why your teeth have baffled Earth's dentists? 82 00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:32,184 -I have hypohydrotic ectodermal dysplasia. 83 00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:33,795 Right, Mom? 84 00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:35,187 -Huh? 85 00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:40,758 Mom?! 86 00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:42,369 -And your eyes? 87 00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:44,458 -Yeah, I have acute ocular rosacea. 88 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,068 -Yeah, he gets weekly treatments 89 00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:48,331 at the ophthalmologist. That's totally normal. 90 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:52,509 -[ Groaning ] 91 00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:57,993 Holy shit! 92 00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:00,648 That's my natural eye color?! 93 00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:06,262 Oh, so, that's not normal back hair? 94 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,046 -That is normal back hair. 95 00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:09,526 You got it from my dad's side. 96 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:12,007 -But the paralyzing quills hidden underneath 97 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,835 are another story. 98 00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,449 -What the fuck is a paralyzing quill?! 99 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:21,190 -You see, Chris, my boy -- 100 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,193 -No! Don't. Let me tell him. 101 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,327 I should be the one to do this. 102 00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:33,637 Something happened a... long time ago. 103 00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:34,899 -Oh, God. 104 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,510 -We met at a Y2K party, all right? 105 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,946 We thought the world was gonna end. 106 00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:39,382 I mean, I thought, why the hell not? 107 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,428 I was rip-shit on some homemade wine. 108 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,169 I didn't think it could actually happen. 109 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,649 -Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 110 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:49,697 You mean, that, that thing is my father?! 111 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,438 -Yes. 112 00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:53,744 -You told me that my real father was a roadie for the WWE! 113 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,094 How could I have been so fucking stupid?! 114 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,966 -Look, you are just lashing out at me 115 00:05:58,096 --> 00:05:59,054 because you're angry! 116 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:00,621 -I'm lashing out at you 117 00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,579 because you ran out of things to fuck on Earth! 118 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,189 And now I'm an alien! 119 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,627 -Hey, don't talk to your mother that way! 120 00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:08,150 -I'm sorry! 121 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,066 Christopher, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before! 122 00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:14,722 -Roni, give the boy some space. 123 00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:16,854 -You just... -What? 124 00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,073 -Stop looking at me! 125 00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,770 You're undressing me with those eyes! 126 00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,381 -You look hot, sue me. -Just -- 127 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:36,091 -You are the Crite we've been searching for, 128 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:39,181 my son. -Holy shit. 129 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,228 -I have come to bring you to a world 130 00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,100 where you will be worshipped, 131 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,232 a world where you belong. 132 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:50,322 I have come to take you home. 133 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:53,456 Join me and you will visit new galaxies 134 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:58,069 and see and eat things that no regular human has ever seen... 135 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,158 or eaten. 136 00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:01,290 -It's like everything I've ever thought 137 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,597 about my life has been a lie. 138 00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,599 -Become who you were born to be. 139 00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:09,124 You are easily the smartest Crite ever conceived. 140 00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:11,169 Your genetic code will create a line 141 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,694 of hyper-intelligent hybrids. 142 00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:18,350 With your lineage, our species will make a great leap forward. 143 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:21,832 My own flesh and blood, my son, 144 00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:24,356 will be the future of our people. 145 00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,230 -Fuck. 146 00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:38,762 -I don't know about you, Sheriff, 147 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,285 but I'm thinking that's no YouTube video 148 00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:41,809 those kids were trying to make. 149 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,986 I mean, they would've put it up by now, right? 150 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:48,424 -Do I have resting bitch face? 151 00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,600 -Sheriff! You have some visitors. 152 00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:53,298 -We'll take it from here. 153 00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:59,000 ♪♪ 154 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:04,832 ♪♪ 155 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:06,268 -Who the hell are these guys? 156 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:08,096 -The Crites have found what they were seeking -- 157 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:12,056 a genetic abomination, part-human, part-Crite. 158 00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:14,015 We must retrieve the boy. 159 00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:17,453 -You mean the boy that was right under your nose for three weeks? 160 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,281 -He appeared to be human. 161 00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:22,850 -The Crite ship has already left Earth's atmosphere. 162 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:24,678 -We're too late. 163 00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,421 -Not necessarily... 164 00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:35,602 -Oh, shit! 165 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:41,869 ♪♪ 166 00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:51,879 ♪♪ 167 00:08:52,009 --> 00:09:01,889 ♪♪ 168 00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:11,986 ♪♪ 11513

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