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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,248 - Previously on "Time Traveling Bong"... 2 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,516 - Watch out! 3 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,018 - Oh, my God. "Time traveling bong." 4 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,753 [whooshing] 5 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,490 - That filthy witch has a tiny cauldron! 6 00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:23,691 - Smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke. 7 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:24,725 - No! No! 8 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,160 - I found a glassblower. 9 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,261 I think he's gonna do an amazing job. 10 00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:28,862 - Your vase-pipe, Sir Jeff. 11 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:29,863 - This looks like shit! 12 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:30,898 [bleats] 13 00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:33,267 - [screams] - Oh, God! 14 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,668 - Here goes the witch! 15 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,370 [whooshing] 16 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,671 - We're not home. 17 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,073 - That glassblower must have messed up the bong 18 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,408 when he blew it. - So now what, 19 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:41,975 the structural integrity of the bong has changed, 20 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,010 so we can't get home? 21 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,745 - I don't know. 22 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:45,913 [gasps] 23 00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:47,381 I think those are cave people. 24 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,616 - Smoke, smoke, smoke! - [bleep], it's cashed. 25 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,017 - Didn't you bring more weed? 26 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:51,119 - No, I thought we'd be right back. 27 00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:52,886 I'm peeing. - Me too! 28 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,889 [both whimper] 29 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,892 [funky music] 30 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,661 * 31 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,530 - [roars] 32 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,532 - [caws] 33 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:08,202 * 34 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:11,405 [rapid percussive music] 35 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,875 - Jesus, no. Oh, my God. 36 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,610 We're dead meat. 37 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,045 - Oh, shit, they're horny. 38 00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:19,347 - How do you know? 39 00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,649 - Their boners. 40 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,284 - Whoa. 41 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,588 - Hi. Hello. 42 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,191 Hello, hello. 43 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,059 - Hi. [chuckles] 44 00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:33,727 - [groans] Okay, okay. 45 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:36,430 Hi. Sharee, what's happening? 46 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,199 - I don't know. Just go with it. 47 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:39,200 - [moans] 48 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,401 Okay, hi, ladies. 49 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:42,370 Okay, shh, shh, shh. Hello. 50 00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:43,937 - Yeah, right there. Ooh. - Oh, oh, ow. 51 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,207 Ow, ow. Oh, no, my cravat! 52 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:47,375 That's okay. You can keep it. 53 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:49,109 - Let's go down. Gentle, gentle. 54 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,544 - [moans] 55 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,446 - Oh, oh, God. - Sharee, what's happening? 56 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,647 - Okay, shush. Shush, shush, shush. 57 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,082 - Yeah, but no teeth. No teeth! 58 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,284 - It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. 59 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,285 - [moans] Oh, gosh. 60 00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,153 - [sniffs] Ooh. 61 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,488 - Jesus, that knuckle's huge! 62 00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:02,256 - Whoo, that is piping hot. 63 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:03,491 - Ah! Oh! 64 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,259 - [moaning] - Ow, ow. 65 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:07,628 - [moaning crescendos] 66 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,504 [bird caws] 67 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,074 - Oh, Sharee. 68 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,643 Sharee, put your shirt on. 69 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,878 We've got to find something to smoke and get out of here. 70 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,947 - Mmmmm... 71 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:30,218 No. 72 00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:31,485 - What are you talking about? 73 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,586 It's horrible here. 74 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,388 - It's amazing here. 75 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:38,426 I had--I had my first orgasm last night. 76 00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:40,261 - What? - I'd never had one. 77 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,329 I didn't know what it felt like. 78 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,663 Donnie never asked. 79 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,365 He said he didn't need my life story. 80 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,766 - Look, I'm really happy for you. 81 00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,968 That's great, but I can't stay here. 82 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:50,238 Last night started out kind of nice, 83 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:51,672 but then it got really rough. 84 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,007 These women almost sucked my [bleep] off, okay? 85 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,142 They were hungry for it. 86 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:56,610 - Okay. 87 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:57,811 - They were jamming their [bleep] into my mouth. 88 00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:58,979 - Okay. 89 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,381 - And fingering my ass[bleep] so hard. 90 00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:01,615 - All right! - My penis is raw and blistered. 91 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,083 It looks like a hamburger hot dog. 92 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,718 - Okay, I don't need to hear about your [bleep] skin. 93 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,355 Also, what the [bleep] is a hamburger hot dog? 94 00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,889 - It's a hot dog made of hamburger meat. 95 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,891 - Where the [bleep] is that sold? 96 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:11,959 - Wawa. 97 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,494 - I've never seen it. 98 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,329 - Please, Sharee, I can't stay here, okay? 99 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:18,366 "No" doesn't mean "no" here. It doesn't mean anything. 100 00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:20,368 Can you imagine how terrifying it is 101 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,903 to be in a sexual situation where at any moment 102 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,839 you could be overpowered? 103 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,608 As I'm saying it, I realize--yeah. 104 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,477 - I can picture that, Jeff. I can--I can picture that. 105 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,211 Right? - Sorry, yes. 106 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,746 - Okay, all right, give me a few weeks, 107 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,482 and we'll revisit the issue. 108 00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:35,816 - Is this because of the 1600s? 109 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,718 Are you still mad? I thought you were over that. 110 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:41,021 - I was stabbed in the tit yesterday. 111 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:44,224 I was dunked. I was pressed by rocks. 112 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,359 I almost died. 113 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:46,894 You get one shitty blowjob, 114 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,095 and you gotta go! 115 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,331 No, no, no, [bleep] you, all right? 116 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,932 We don't even have weed anyway. 117 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,401 We'll--we'll figure it out. 118 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:55,168 Just go jerk off in a cave or something. 119 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,737 It'll feel just like home. 120 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,072 - I can't jerk off here, Sharee. 121 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,075 This is their porn. 122 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,744 - Porn? You don't need porn here. 123 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,613 These people are professionals. 124 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,047 - They're not human, Sharee! 125 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,082 - [deep moan] - [bleep], she sounds horny. 126 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,250 I've gotta hide. 127 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,919 I'm gonna find weed. 128 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,087 - [grunting] 129 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,823 [sniffing] 130 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,458 [grunts] 131 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:20,127 - [chuckles] She's thirsty. 132 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:23,130 [percussive music] 133 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,398 * 134 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:26,534 [all grunting, sniffing] 135 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,311 [flatulence] 136 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,447 [laughter] 137 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:46,253 * 138 00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:47,287 - [screams] 139 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,423 [cavemen grunting] 140 00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:56,330 - [moaning] Forget it. 141 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:59,132 - [grunts] 142 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,233 [animal roars] 143 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,202 [yells] 144 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:10,344 * 145 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:18,486 - Yes! 146 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,621 - [snoring] 147 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,562 - Sharee! Sharee? 148 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,431 - [growls] - Holy shit! 149 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,165 - [grunting] 150 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,467 - What the-- 151 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,536 [both grunting] 152 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:38,005 - [purring] 153 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,841 - [grunting] 154 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,343 - [purrs] - What the [bleep]? 155 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,480 - "Tayeena ween." "Tayeena ween!" 156 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,981 - Wait, are you doing "Nell"? 157 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:50,183 - You got me, Jeff. I'm improvising. 158 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,020 - Okay, whatever. Look, I found paleo nugs. 159 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,923 - Yeah, there's a bunch over there too. 160 00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:57,458 - Cool, Sharee. 161 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,693 All right, look, you've had your weird, shitty fun. 162 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,994 Now let's get the [bleep] out of here. 163 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,796 - No! No, wait, Jeff! No, no, I love it here. 164 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,598 The raw meat made my period come back. 165 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,500 I've had two rock solid ones already. 166 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,735 - It's been a week. 167 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,236 - I don't need Klonopin to sleep here. 168 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,338 I don't need Accutane. Look at, my backne's gone! 169 00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:13,974 - Oh, Jesus, you're covered in scratches, Sharee. 170 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,276 - I know. 171 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,277 - [sniffs] 172 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,345 - Ugh. 173 00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:19,480 - I don't want to leave, Jeff. 174 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,748 Every guy I've ever been with 175 00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:22,816 wants me to shave my pubes off. 176 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,552 The guys here love my body hair. 177 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,720 I don't have to shave or wax. 178 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,188 There's no need to Veet or Nair, 179 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,389 which means no Nair burns, 180 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,892 no threading, no plucking, no bleaching. 181 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:32,993 - [yells] 182 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,496 [grunting] 183 00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,431 - [bleep], one of them found me. 184 00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:38,666 Come on, we've got to go right now. 185 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,200 - I don't have to electrolysis, Jeff. 186 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,902 No need to no!no! - Come on, she's getting closer. 187 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,537 We gotta go, come on! - No sugaring, no lasering! 188 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,172 - Please, Sharee! - Oh, fine. 189 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,540 - Come on, Sharee, we don't have much time. 190 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:49,142 - Ugh, do it. 191 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,277 [whooshing] 192 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:53,113 - [grunting, panting] 193 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,715 [yells] 194 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,485 - Oh, Miss Paula D., come on, I ain't even did nothing. 195 00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:59,386 - I was thinking about you hotly, 196 00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,054 and now you got to be punished. 197 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,991 It's your fault, dressing the way you was. 198 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:04,992 [whooshing] 199 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:06,026 [both groaning] 200 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,995 - Oh, God, ow. 201 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:08,996 - [screams] 202 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,931 Interlopers! 203 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,634 - Ohhh. 204 00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,805 - Oh, God, oh-- Slaves? 205 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:18,939 - This is slave time. - These are slaves. 206 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,273 - These are slaves, yeah. 207 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,809 - Shoot 'em, Clyde! Shoot 'em! 208 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,143 - Give me a second. 209 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,678 - Get away from her. - We can save you. 210 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,813 - Get over here. - Come on, hold onto us. 211 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,380 - Come on, hurry! - Come on. 212 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,916 - We're gonna save you. - Shoot 'em, shoot, 'em, 213 00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:30,651 shoot 'em! - It's stuck. 214 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:31,819 - Leave the uggs. 215 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:32,853 - I think we've got a little time. 216 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,087 - Ah, here we go. 217 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,856 - Shoot 'em now! Shoot 'em! 218 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,758 - Hold on tight, guys. 219 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,126 [whooshing, gunshot] 220 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:42,429 - Oh! 221 00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:44,532 - Paula D.? 222 00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:46,466 [all screaming] 223 00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,378 [screaming continues] 224 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,817 [all groaning] 225 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,522 - Where are we? - I don't know. 226 00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:10,824 [upbeat '60s music] 227 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,927 - Whoa. 228 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,463 - * Get out of the coal mine baby * 229 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,466 * We got a new fad going around * 230 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:22,803 * Going around, going around, going around * 231 00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:26,206 * 232 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:29,409 - Oh, my God, it's 1963. 233 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,945 - We did it. We're white saviors. 234 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,981 - You're free. - You're free. 235 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,082 - What's happened here? 236 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,717 - Sorry, we time traveled 237 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,319 from slave times to free times, 1963. 238 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,520 - Yeah, there's no slavery here, guys. 239 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,955 You're liberated. 240 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,559 - It's an awesome time for black people. 241 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,227 - It's not great actually. - Not awesome. 242 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,461 - In fact, even our time is bad. - That was too far. 243 00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,230 - There's, like, a lot of police-- 244 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,732 - It's maybe better than slave times by a little bit. 245 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:52,933 - I've been writing about it on my blog, it sucks. 246 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,167 - You gotta take me back. 247 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,103 My children. I got eight children. 248 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,405 That's not counting the mulattos and the quadroons! 249 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,641 - I'm so sorry, but we can't. - I'm sorry. 250 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,242 - We're stuck here. We don't know how the bong works. 251 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,544 It's kind of broken, and you guys are gonna 252 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,013 just have to blend in. 253 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,248 - [sobs] - We ain't got nowhere to live. 254 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,983 We ain't got nowhere to work. 255 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,118 I don't even know how to read. 256 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,986 - Ooh, you got to learn. 257 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,421 - Excuse me, miss. 258 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:16,123 Would you like to join the army? 259 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,858 Get a hot meal and a gun with your name on it. 260 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:18,859 - You mean, like, a musket? 261 00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,127 - I like your spirit. 262 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,629 You'll be great on the front lines. 263 00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,664 Plus, we'll give you new, snazzy fatigues. 264 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:26,266 - Hey, let's do it. - No, no, no, no, no. 265 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,268 - Hold a second. This is a death wish. 266 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,003 - You don't have to go to war. - I mean, you could model. 267 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,472 - Yeah. - We ain't got no money! 268 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,141 Now this is a job. 269 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,009 You wanted us to be free? 270 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,778 Well, we is gonna be free in... 271 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,146 - Vietnam. 272 00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:41,749 - We is gonna be free in Vietnam. 273 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,016 - [sighs] 274 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,417 - And I'm gonna greet every day 275 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,154 with a hearty, "Good morning, Vietnam!" 276 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,889 all chanting: Vietnam! 277 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,824 - Ohh! Vietnam! 278 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,960 - [sighs] That's really bad. 279 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,162 - But we win Vietnam, right? 280 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:57,164 - I don't think we do. I mean, it-- 281 00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,632 Oh, of course, no service. 282 00:09:58,632 --> 00:09:59,900 This is getting really annoying. 283 00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,368 - Oh, God. 284 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,070 all: * Tweedle dee-dee-dee 285 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,706 * Tweedle dee-dee-dee, Tweedle dee-dee-dee * 286 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:08,475 * Tweedle dee-dee-dee, Tweedle dee-dee-dee * 287 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,844 * Tweedle dee-dee-dee, tweet, tweet * 288 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,312 * Tweet, tweet 289 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,715 * He rocks in the treetops all day long * 290 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,850 * Hoppin' and a-boppin' and singin' his song * 291 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,185 - Stop it, stop it, stop it! 292 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,720 What the hell are you doing? 293 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,089 You and your big nose missed your step-ball-change. 294 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,357 Dance like a man! 295 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,093 All right, kids, back in the car. 296 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,995 Michael done [bleep] it up for everybody. 297 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,529 Sorry about that. Let's go! 298 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,799 - Thanks a lot, Michael. - Come on, Michael! 299 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,266 - Move your fat asses, Jackie and Rebbie! 300 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,869 Let's go, Tito! Hustle, Jermaine. 301 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,404 Come on, La Toya, with your little fat head. 302 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,339 Get up--move it, Michael, Marlon, and Randy! 303 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,741 Let's go! Pick up the pace! 304 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,042 [car door slams] 305 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,777 Let's go, Jacksons! Let's go! 306 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,546 You missed your step-ball-change with your big nose. 307 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:47,547 - That was-- 308 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:48,548 - Oh, my God, that-- 309 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,717 [both scream] 310 00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:50,951 [both hyperventilating] 311 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,219 - That was The Jackson 5. 312 00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,687 - Wow, La Toya, Jackie, Marlon. 313 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,088 - Singing to me. 314 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,423 - Shining out his beautiful eyes. 315 00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,925 - How did I not take a picture? My phone works. 316 00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,259 At least the camera works. - Joe. God, Joe. 317 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,128 - Ooh, he was scary, man. - Yikes! Ooh! 318 00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:03,496 - Really living up to the stereotype. 319 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,865 - Just like the movie. - Ah. 320 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:08,401 - Ooh, God! Wait. 321 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,237 Maybe that's the reason 322 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,305 we were sent time traveling in the first place. 323 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:15,242 - To write The Jackson 5's music and get super rich, yes! 324 00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:18,746 - That is really hard not to do now that you said it. 325 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:22,615 But what I meant was to save Michael's childhood 326 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,317 because he was robbed of his, yeah. 327 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,386 - Which is why he robbed so many children of theirs. 328 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,589 - We'd be saving Michael and all of his victims. 329 00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:32,459 - Maybe we're supposed to be changing history for the better. 330 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,061 - We're not doing great so far. 331 00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,429 We just sent those slaves to Vietnam. 332 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,799 - Ugh, that was so bad. - That was more you than me. 333 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,467 - That was more you than me! - That was dumb, that was bad. 334 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:41,735 - God! - You know what though? 335 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,536 They might make it out. 336 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,372 You know, we have to do this, right? 337 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,307 We have to make up for our sins. - We're gonna do it. 338 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,409 - God, we were two New Jersey dildos, 339 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:52,579 and now we have the chance to make history better. 340 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,680 - Yes. 341 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,149 We are gonna save Michael Jackson. 342 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,550 - By kidnapping him. 343 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,551 - Love it. 344 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,120 - Huh. 345 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,155 But Joe Jackson did see us. 346 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,757 - Well, we're gonna need disguises. 347 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:06,659 - Really subtle disguises. 348 00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,662 Ooh, good afternoon! 349 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,031 - Can I help you? 350 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,665 - Oh, well, we were just looking for the home 351 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,167 of a Mr. Joseph Jackson. 352 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,535 - That's me. 353 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:16,569 - Oh, is it? 354 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,371 Well, how lucky are we? Ha ha! 355 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,173 My name is Beverly McClellan, 356 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:23,576 and this is my colleague, Simon Cowell. 357 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,013 We are producers of a television program 358 00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,580 called "The Bee's Knees." 359 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,149 - "Bee's Knees." 360 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:30,851 - Yes, "The Bee's Knees." 361 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:33,586 We were just wondering if perhaps your children 362 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,455 would perhaps like to audition 363 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,524 to sing and dance on our show. 364 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:40,727 - Sing and dance. 365 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,762 - Yes, sing and dance. 366 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,564 Like I said. 367 00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:45,799 - How much? 368 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,400 - Oh. 369 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,470 The payment would be about 60. 370 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,371 - Yeah. 371 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,873 - 60? - Thousand! 372 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:55,075 - Thousand? - What? Mm-hmm. 373 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,010 - Kids! Get out on the lawn now! 374 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,611 - 60,000? - Let's go, Jacksons! 375 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,514 Jackie, Rebbie, Tito, Jermaine, La Toya, let's go! 376 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,483 Michael, Marlon, Randy, let's go, Jacksons! 377 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,052 Let's go! - Definitely Michael. 378 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:07,354 - Yeah, Michael, Michael, bring your ass on, come on! 379 00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:09,222 - What about Janet? - Who? 380 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,523 - Hoo-hoo! - Not born yet. 381 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,791 - Ha ha, just kidding, daddy-o. 382 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,760 - Jacksons! Come on, let's go! 383 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,362 Get out there on the lawn! 384 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,697 - Ooh. 385 00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:18,899 Are you Michael? 386 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,834 - I'm Jackie. - Ooh, good luck. 387 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,435 - Hey, are you Michael? 388 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,838 - I'm Tito. - Who's Michael? 389 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,106 - I am. 390 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:29,843 Daddy! [muffled shouting] 391 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,344 [children shouting] 392 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,580 - We got the King of Pop. We got the King of Pop. 393 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,714 - Shamoa! 394 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,319 - Top of the evening to you. 395 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,787 I'm Beverly McClellan. 396 00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:43,690 We would like one motel room for us and our son here, 397 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:44,557 Michael Jackson. 398 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,159 [bleep]! - Language. 399 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:50,097 [gentle music] 400 00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:52,399 - Thank you so much. 401 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,869 Well, my dogs are really killing me. 402 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,305 Oof, these shoes, mm. 403 00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:01,308 - You have such a pretty voice, Mrs. McClellan. 404 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,713 - It's Ms. McClellan, 405 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:09,682 but, look, we're not who you think we are, okay? 406 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:14,054 My name is Jeff, and this is my cousin, Sharee. 407 00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,655 - Hi. 408 00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,324 - But thank you so much for saying I have a nice voice. 409 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,126 It is insanely flattering coming from you. 410 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:22,395 - I'm gonna sing for you later. You might like my voice as well. 411 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:26,066 - Look at that skinny nose. 412 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,936 My dad would love your nose. 413 00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,270 He always makes fun of mine. 414 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,404 - Oh, no. 415 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,772 - No, Michael, your nose is perfect. 416 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:33,974 Your face is beautiful. 417 00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,208 - Just as it is right now. 418 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,378 Michael, we had to take you, okay? 419 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,247 We had to make sure that you weren't abused 420 00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:41,614 and you were nurtured. 421 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,484 - You are so insanely talented. 422 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:47,454 Check it out. You're superhuman. 423 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,724 No. 424 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,759 No, no, no, no, no. 425 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,331 Excuse us just one second. 426 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,334 - What are you doing? 427 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,635 I'm hanging out with Michael Jackson right now. 428 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,304 - His music is disappearing. 429 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:05,705 - No. 430 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,007 No, [bleep]! 431 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,241 - Language! 432 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,277 - [sighs] We gotta take him back. 433 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,112 - No! No, Jeff, how can we? 434 00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,413 How can we now? 435 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,715 Come on, we have to weigh the pros and cons here. 436 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:16,916 - Okay, fine. 437 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,619 - Pro, Michael seems like a healthy, happy, 438 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,521 normal child away from his family. 439 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:22,922 - Yeah, con, bringing him here 440 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,657 is making his music disappear, Sharee. 441 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:27,860 His music brought joy to literally billions of people. 442 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,729 - Okay, pro. 443 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,798 The dozens to hundreds of children 444 00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,533 that Michael molested would be saved. 445 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,168 - Allegedly molested. 446 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,603 - Alleged, what are you talking about? 447 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,171 Google it. - I can't, Sharee. 448 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,007 It's 1963. 449 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:41,774 Here's a con, if we bring him back, 450 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,643 he might still molest kids, you don't know. 451 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,345 Pedophilia might be an inborn thing. 452 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,679 The jury's still out on that, right? 453 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,448 - I don't know, Jeff. I can't Google it. 454 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,949 You just covered that. - Okay. 455 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,319 - But the point is we have the chance to make things right. 456 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:53,686 That sweet little boy out there, 457 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,222 he doesn't want to be the Neverland Ranch guy. 458 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:58,058 - I know, he became so weird, his tattooed beard. 459 00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,626 - The makeup, and the vitiligo. 460 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,328 - And the nose, the glasses and the glove. 461 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:02,996 - Elizabeth Taylor and the wheelchair. 462 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,232 The Blanket incident, I'm like, "What are you doing?" 463 00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:06,833 - He really was abused by his father. 464 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,036 - But his father was abused by the system. 465 00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:10,403 - Ugh! But his music! 466 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:11,838 But "Thriller"! The dance! 467 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,373 - It doesn't matter. That's a sweet boy. 468 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,008 - Okay, you're right, you're right. 469 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,876 You're right, we've got to do the right thing. 470 00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:17,944 - Yes. 471 00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:20,313 We are going to raise Michael Jackson 472 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,714 as our son. 473 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,623 - Ooh. Yikes. - Ooh. 474 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:32,925 - I'm just gonna-- 475 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,328 - Take this. 476 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,464 - * Oh, Henry was a renegade 477 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,066 [all shouting] 478 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:42,001 * Never liked to play it safe 479 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,503 - I haven't seen that on the big screen. 480 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,604 It's gonna be all the birds. 481 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,106 - * ...at a time 482 00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:50,677 * There's got to be a better way * 483 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:54,414 * Oh, people came from miles around * 484 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,883 * Searching for a steady job * 485 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,018 * Ooh 486 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:03,390 * It's gonna take it but we'll make it one day * 487 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,125 * It's gonna take a long time * 488 00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,993 [ding] 489 00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:12,832 * It's gonna take it but we'll make it one day * 490 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,967 * 491 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,369 all: Two, one! 492 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,638 Happy 1964! 493 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,872 [noisemaker honks] 494 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:27,680 * * 495 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,382 [warning alarm blares] 496 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:33,386 * 497 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,387 [doorbell chimes] 498 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,555 - Good morning, ma'am. 499 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,157 Can I interest you in a hairbrush-- 500 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,391 - [screaming] 501 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,592 - * Wherever we're going * 502 00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:42,529 - You ready? - Yeah. 503 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,664 Ah! [groaning] 504 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,799 - Ooh, you okay, Michael? 505 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,735 - * Whatever we're doing * 506 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,503 - Ah. 507 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,740 - * It's gonna take it but we'll make it one day * 508 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,243 * However we want it 509 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,810 - [sighs] 510 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:01,181 And that's the story of Peter Pan. 511 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,249 - I want to go to Neverland. 512 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,550 - [sighs] 513 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,984 - [bleep], I didn't even think of that. 514 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,186 - Language. 515 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:08,288 - Okay, yeah. Thank you, good night. 516 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,423 - Jeff. 517 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,658 I said, "Jeff." 518 00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,493 - Yeah, I heard you. 519 00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:14,827 - You're a good boy, Michael. 520 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,429 - Mm. - We love you. 521 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,531 - I love you, too, White Mommy and Daddy. 522 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,900 Good night. - Okay. 523 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,570 Night-night. 524 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,037 ['60s music plays] 525 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:27,307 [both sighing] 526 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:34,314 * 527 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,449 - Jeff... 528 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,851 I can't do this anymore. 529 00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,788 - Oh, thank God. Me either. 530 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:42,955 * 531 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,391 [music stops] 532 00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,459 I've been wanting to say something for weeks. 533 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,195 This is horrendous, okay? 534 00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,129 Today I sold one hairbrush, 535 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,600 and I got a lead for another hair brush sale. 536 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,669 - Today I made $3 in tips, 537 00:18:56,669 --> 00:19:00,473 and I was groped relentlessly all day. 538 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,375 When do men stop groping women? 539 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,710 When? Tell me! 540 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,878 - The '90s. - I hope so. 541 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,780 - Maybe post-9/11. I don't know. 542 00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:10,250 - Everybody's red. All the white people are red. 543 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,784 - Yeah, 'cause they're in the sun with no sunscreen. 544 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:12,919 It's like-- - And then they're-- 545 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,487 Everybody's a [bleep] alcoholic. 546 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,656 - I tried to buy sunscreen. It doesn't exist yet. 547 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,191 When do they invent SPF? 548 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,959 That guy's gonna make a [bleep] mint. 549 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,127 - Ooh. 550 00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:23,996 - If I have to eat one more Jell-O mold 551 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,699 or plate of Spam, I'm gonna [bleep] kill myself. 552 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:31,204 - I have a spare tire made of mayonnaise. 553 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,772 And you know this shit doesn't work. 554 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,841 Thank God for the diet pills. 555 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,042 Ugh. 556 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,579 - I can't wear this gabardine shit anymore! 557 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,180 Everything is itchy. 558 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:44,183 I've been uncomfortable since the first day we got here. 559 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,719 - Being a parent is so hard. - Ugh! 560 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,521 - The PTA meetings. - Ew. 561 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,323 - Making lunches every day. - Ew. 562 00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:51,891 - Avoiding the cops 'cause we stole a child. 563 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,293 - Yeah, I don't know what we were thinking. 564 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,661 - Yeah, we should have spent that belt machine money 565 00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:57,364 on more diet pills. 566 00:19:57,364 --> 00:20:00,533 - No, I'm talking about kidnapping Michael Jackson. 567 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,068 - Oh, yeah, that. Ugh. 568 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,203 - We took a human child. 569 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,138 - Should we kill him? 570 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,008 No! - Yeah, no. 571 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:10,810 - We're not gonna kill a child. - No, no. 572 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,011 - We're not gonna kill the King of Pop. 573 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,513 - Yeah, yeah, no. 574 00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:15,282 - Who are we to say what history should and shouldn't be? 575 00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,549 - No us. - No. 576 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,184 - I don't trust us. 577 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:19,719 We are idiots! 578 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,220 - When we get to a place, we should not touch anything. 579 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,589 - Yes. - We should just look around. 580 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,257 We should look around and go. 581 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,858 It's like we smoke, if it's not home, we smoke out. 582 00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:28,561 - But we can't just bring him back. 583 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,368 - Now before we go, Michael, 584 00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:39,171 I want you to remember you're beautiful just the way you are. 585 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:42,742 - Also, publishing rights. Buy The Beatles' music. 586 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,844 It's just a little tip from White Daddy. 587 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:47,847 - I hope you learned something from us. 588 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,449 - I learned that it's okay to take 589 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:51,250 little boys from their homes. 590 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,352 - Oh, [bleep]. - Shit. 591 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:53,753 - Language! 592 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,388 - Okay. Good-bye, Michael. - All right, bye. 593 00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,524 [doorbell chimes] 594 00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:05,698 - Michael. Oh, my God, Michael. 595 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,368 [dramatic music] 596 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:10,269 I see you! 597 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,471 Oh, I'm gonna get you. 598 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:12,739 Yeah, uh-huh. 599 00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:14,441 - Go, smoke. Get the bong, get the bong, go! 600 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,309 - Nobody steals my son! 601 00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,244 I'm gonna get you! - Go, go, go, go. 602 00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:20,613 [whooshing] 603 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,549 - The [bleep]? 604 00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:24,317 [whooshing] 605 00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:26,085 [both groan] 606 00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:27,920 - God. 607 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,856 - Ooh, doesn't get any easier. 608 00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:32,325 - For once I wish we'd land in a pond. 609 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:34,661 Where the [bleep] are we? 610 00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,565 - Holy shit! 611 00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:40,066 Sharee, this is it, 612 00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:41,968 the best time period there is in human history. 613 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,437 Ancient Greece, the era of symposiums 614 00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,706 that gave birth to philosophy and literature. 615 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:47,740 Plus they have plumbing. 616 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:49,008 - And Greek salad. 617 00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:51,177 - Oh, I would kill for a Greek salad. 618 00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:54,947 both: Greek salad! 619 00:21:59,386 --> 00:22:00,920 - Next time on "Time Traveling Bong"... 620 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:01,921 - There's a really hot party tonight. 621 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,089 Yes! - Nice! 622 00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:04,290 - So it's that kind of party. 623 00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:05,291 [retches] 624 00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:06,359 [both groan] 625 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,761 It's the future. 626 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,631 - No! 627 00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:12,765 - Pretty hilarious. 40207

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