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1
00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:11,440
(indistinct chatter
in background)
2
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:14,180
(Nat): What are you
gonna do differently?
3
00:00:17,010 --> 00:00:19,250
You say the boys are gonna
play like you but the chirping,
4
00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:20,749
and the lumber, and
the running around
5
00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:22,479
have always been your game.
6
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,089
So, if I keep this team going,
7
00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:27,689
how're you gonna
raise your game?
8
00:00:27,690 --> 00:00:29,990
What are you gonna
do differently?
9
00:00:37,630 --> 00:00:42,370
(heavy metal music plays)
10
00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:44,130
(♪)
11
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,939
(heavy metal music ends)
12
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:28,839
(Shoresy): This team
will never lose again.
13
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,110
(rock music plays)
14
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,949
Welcome to another edition
of "Questionable Call"
15
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,989
brought to you by
BROdude Energy.
16
00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:41,589
I'm your host, Anik Archambault,
17
00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:43,989
along with our panelists,
Tessa Bonhomme,
18
00:02:43,990 --> 00:02:46,389
Jay Onrait, and the
man they call RA.
19
00:02:46,390 --> 00:02:48,799
Mesdames and messieurs,
why save the best for last?
20
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,769
We're leading with
these peckerheads now?
21
00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:52,569
I take it you saw the
most recent installment
22
00:02:52,570 --> 00:02:54,299
of Bulldogs Mic'd Up?
23
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,139
Oui, monsieur. And
here are my personal
24
00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:59,040
highlights from last week's bout
with the hicks from Timmins.
25
00:02:59,870 --> 00:03:01,839
Hey, how'd that corn
come in, Apeldoorn?
26
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,409
She knee-high by
the 4th of July?
27
00:03:03,410 --> 00:03:05,709
Hey, you ever see any
crop circles out there or?
28
00:03:05,710 --> 00:03:07,619
Hey, when you're driving
by a field of cows,
29
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,179
how hard is it to
not just pull over
30
00:03:09,180 --> 00:03:11,889
and rope one of 'em right there?
(Apeldoorn): Fuck you, Shoresy!
31
00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:13,819
There's entertainment
value, I'll give you that.
32
00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:15,589
Tight competition. But
the best stuff comes
33
00:03:15,590 --> 00:03:17,159
when they play
Keller in North Bay.
34
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:20,399
(Shoresy): Holy fuck, Keller,
did that C get even bigger?
35
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,929
Should sell ads on that thing.
36
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:23,199
You know what might look nice
37
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,669
is some overhead
lights right here.
38
00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:27,069
Put a missing kid on
there, ya fuckin' loser!
39
00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:28,539
I love those Keller
exchanges too,
40
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,709
but you cannot beat the Soo.
41
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,039
Hey, those visors
come any darker?
42
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,680
I can still kinda see
how fuckin' ugly ya are.
43
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,139
Is there an eclipse tonight?
I can see your old lady
44
00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:38,479
in the stands up there. You
should put one of those on her.
45
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,250
- Are they still undefeated?
- Shoresy vowed the team
46
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,919
would never lose
again. And well...
47
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,349
They're all losers in the NOSHO.
48
00:03:43,350 --> 00:03:44,990
After dropping the
final game of the season
49
00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:46,489
to the Soo Cyclones last year,
50
00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:47,989
the Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs
51
00:03:47,990 --> 00:03:49,489
swept the playoffs
to win the league.
52
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,329
Damn shame the National
Senior Tournament
53
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,359
was cancelled. They
were on a heater!
54
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,759
- They still are.
- You bet, Tessa!
55
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,569
The Bulldogs are on a
20-game win streak this year,
56
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,739
looking to win the final four
contest for a perfect season.
57
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,369
Never done before in the NOSHO.
58
00:04:02,370 --> 00:04:03,939
They've got the
whole team buzzin'
59
00:04:03,940 --> 00:04:06,069
but big individual efforts, too.
60
00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:07,640
Michaels is the best
goalie in the NOSHO,
61
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:10,479
and JJ Frankie JJ leads
the league in goals!
62
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,109
- Frankie's on top of the world.
- Yeah, but they've got the new
63
00:04:13,110 --> 00:04:16,319
American expansion team
twice and they're a handful.
64
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,849
You know, only in the NOSHO
could there exist two teams
65
00:04:18,850 --> 00:04:20,989
from the Soo. Soo, Ontario,
66
00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:22,889
and then, I didn't
even know there was...
67
00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:24,829
- Soo, Michigan, baby.
- Yes, the NOSHO
68
00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:27,299
- is now a five-team league.
- Yeah, but here's the problem,
69
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,699
they've spent the entire
season humiliating the rest
70
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:30,999
of the league on the internet.
71
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,869
They're putting a giant
target on their back.
72
00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:34,199
(crowd cheering)
73
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,440
(Anik): Four games
left on the campaign,
74
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,439
Timmins, North Bay,
Soo Michigan at home,
75
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,409
then Soo Michigan
again stateside.
76
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,639
(Jay): You know they're
all dying to spoil this
77
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:43,649
for the Bulldogs.
78
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:44,949
They've got bigger problems.
79
00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:46,409
Not to sound like
the Bobfather here
80
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:48,149
but you think Shoresy
was bad last year
81
00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:49,320
trying to get them
outta the bottom.
82
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,789
- Yes.
- I'm hearin' he's way worse
83
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,250
this year tryin' to
keep 'em at the top.
84
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,259
Whatever he's
doin', it's workin'.
85
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:56,290
No one can pass the Bulldogs
for first place this year.
86
00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:59,059
They've got it locked up.
But with four games remaining
87
00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:01,859
and four wins away from
a record-breaking season,
88
00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:03,199
it's up to the Bulldogs.
89
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,929
They can be the best team
in the league this year,
90
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:08,539
or they can be the best
team in the league, ever.
91
00:05:08,540 --> 00:05:11,139
Sure, Anik. What
could go wrong?
92
00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:13,309
(Shoresy): We're
hammerin' too much ass.
93
00:05:13,310 --> 00:05:15,679
- That's why we're here.
- Well, not me.
94
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,279
- I know.
- Too many distractions,
95
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:20,719
Shoresy. Priority
is a perfect season.
96
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,179
Seriously, Nat, I want that
fuckin' record but like...
97
00:05:23,180 --> 00:05:24,649
I've got my priorities straight.
98
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:26,449
- Sanger, don't be a pussy.
- But what, slut?
99
00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:28,259
But like, the boys are
right up against it.
100
00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:29,559
- Why?
- Well, one, we're on
101
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,059
- a 20-game heater.
- And two?
102
00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:32,189
There's an impossible amount
103
00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:33,959
of good-looking
girls in Sudbury.
104
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,300
(sultry music plays)
105
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:42,539
(speaking French)
106
00:05:42,540 --> 00:05:44,139
Too bad all the dudes
are ugly, though.
107
00:05:44,140 --> 00:05:46,010
I was just gonna say,
Ziig, your hair looks legit
108
00:05:46,010 --> 00:05:47,479
- good like that.
- Yeah?
109
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,679
But I still think way
more dudes'd be into me.
110
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,409
- Guilty.
- Sanger... don't be a pussy.
111
00:05:52,410 --> 00:05:53,819
She's my girlfriend, my guy.
112
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,049
Yeah, but ya don't gotta
be like... kee-he-he-he!
113
00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:58,189
I asked you to raise
your game last year.
114
00:05:58,190 --> 00:05:59,649
- Me?
- Oh, my God.
115
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,360
You started working
hard away from the rink,
116
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,789
throwing some weights around,
and I will give it to you, man,
117
00:06:03,790 --> 00:06:06,089
- you got jacked.
- It's the least I can do, Nat.
118
00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:08,460
Seriously, thank
you so much for...
119
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,169
keepin' the team goin'.
120
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:12,769
Tuck in your fuckin'
tampon string.
121
00:06:12,770 --> 00:06:14,899
You answered the call.
But then, you went above
122
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,870
and beyond the call and you
got the rest of the team
123
00:06:16,870 --> 00:06:18,739
- jacked with you.
- What's good for the goose.
124
00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:20,069
Which brings us to the problem
125
00:06:20,070 --> 00:06:22,439
- of my own manufacturing.
- Hammerin' too much ass?
126
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,909
- Yeah...
- Huh?
127
00:06:23,910 --> 00:06:25,280
They're top of the
league, defending champs,
128
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:28,119
20-game heater, and they're
the most jacked team
129
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,149
in the NOSHO. Can you imagine?
130
00:06:30,150 --> 00:06:32,590
Trust me, you can't.
131
00:06:39,130 --> 00:06:42,100
(rap music plays)
132
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:54,279
Got more ass than
Kellogg's got Corn Flakes.
133
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,779
I can't help but feel
entirely responsible.
134
00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:58,049
- You are.
- You think?
135
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:01,449
Well... if you don't
want the boys in snapper,
136
00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:04,949
definitely don't make us do
a calendar of sexy photos.
137
00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:06,589
- You're right.
- You're an idiot.
138
00:07:06,590 --> 00:07:08,419
I can't believe you got
'em to do that shit.
139
00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:10,360
That calendar's gonna bite
us in the ass one day, Nat.
140
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,460
You look like such a fucking
goof in that thing, Shoresy.
141
00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:14,859
Ziig, you got a voice that
goes up one side of me
142
00:07:14,860 --> 00:07:16,929
- and right down the other.
- I've got a voice?
143
00:07:16,930 --> 00:07:18,899
Yeah, and a face
that makes me go, ah!
144
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:20,939
The money from the calendars
will help fund our bid
145
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,069
to host the National
Senior Tournament.
146
00:07:23,070 --> 00:07:24,869
It won't get
cancelled again now.
147
00:07:24,870 --> 00:07:27,069
- Brilliant move, ladies.
- Kee-he-he-he!
148
00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:28,939
(Nat): What's good
for the goose.
149
00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:30,340
Four games left for
a perfect season.
150
00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:32,679
- Keep the boys focused, slut.
- I want that record.
151
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,379
Make sure they get the message.
152
00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:36,119
That you want the record?
153
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,450
The other one.
154
00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:40,150
(Shoresy): You're
hammerin' too much ass.
155
00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:41,960
Well, I was more
talkin' to Goody.
156
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,589
- Mkay.
- Dolo, you're hammerin'
157
00:07:43,590 --> 00:07:45,189
- way too much ass.
- Settle down.
158
00:07:45,190 --> 00:07:46,659
What am I, chopped liver?
159
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:48,299
Well, they wheeled
more than you.
160
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,630
You're some crooked
aren't ya, b'y?
161
00:07:49,630 --> 00:07:50,629
You ever have foie gras?
162
00:07:50,630 --> 00:07:52,500
Yeah, like Dolo
wheeled the most.
163
00:07:52,870 --> 00:07:55,199
- Goody's second.
- No, foie gras.
164
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,639
And then, you well in third.
165
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:57,870
B'ys, he's right rotted, he is.
166
00:07:57,870 --> 00:07:59,139
I'm not saying you're ugly,
167
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:00,509
Hitch. That's not
what I'm sayin'.
168
00:08:00,510 --> 00:08:02,110
- Charitable of ya, me son.
- I'm just sayin'
169
00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:03,979
- you're the ugliest here.
- Lard Jeezus!
170
00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:05,279
- You got a dip?
- Bethany?
171
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,849
- (Bethany): Yeah?
- Join us out
172
00:08:06,850 --> 00:08:08,319
where we're to, please?
173
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,019
(footsteps approaching)
174
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:12,049
Bethany Dawn.
175
00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:14,019
Isn't it cute how he
calls me by my full name?
176
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:16,889
If we're becomin' one,
I do ya the courtesy.
177
00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:18,259
Well, I only know your nickname.
178
00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:19,929
Well, his full
name's Ted Hitchcock.
179
00:08:19,930 --> 00:08:22,559
- It's kinda funny 'cause when...
- Who's the ugliest
180
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,229
outta the b'ys here
where we're to?
181
00:08:24,230 --> 00:08:25,229
Shoresy.
182
00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:26,869
Now, go on in out of it, me son.
183
00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:28,500
- Sorry.
- Yeah, don't worry about it.
184
00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:31,770
- What's that, old man?
- Should be two outta three.
185
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,579
Let's get on the go!
186
00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:39,110
Melodie?
187
00:08:42,180 --> 00:08:43,649
- Ooh.
- We got a nail-biter.
188
00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:45,649
(Britt): Shoresy is
the ugliest guy here.
189
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,589
All right, now we're out
the other end of 'er.
190
00:08:47,590 --> 00:08:50,629
- (loud belch)
- Oh... Frankie is here.
191
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,130
(Big Sexy): Tit fucker.
(Britt): Frankie's here?
192
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:53,560
Yeah, why do you
think it smells like
193
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,160
spaghetti carbonara?
(Big Sexy): Tit fucker.
194
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,869
Let's get some fuckin'
tandoori barbecue kebabs.
195
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,529
I dunno about that Quebecer b'y.
196
00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:01,039
Last year left us
in a real pickle
197
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,469
chasin' Laurence
Leboeuf back to Quebec.
198
00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:05,209
- Laurence Leboeuf?
- Laurence Leboeuf?
199
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,439
- Well, would you chase 'er?
- Yes, b'y. You?
200
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:08,910
Was a bit young but...
201
00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:12,010
You're still the
ugliest, Shoresy.
202
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,309
I don't care.
203
00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:14,779
(Nat): I think he
looks pretty good.
204
00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:16,179
(Miig): Girl, no you don't.
205
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:19,789
(Nat): Yeah, too much Bailey's
in my coffee this morning.
206
00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:21,620
(Ziig): Just can't believe
you got them to do this shit.
207
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:22,860
(Nat): Ask and
you shall receive.
208
00:09:22,860 --> 00:09:24,360
(Ziig): They knew how
much ass would follow.
209
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,059
(Miig): Bingo. (Ziig):
Got us to 50% full.
210
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:27,599
(Nat): Bums in seats, baby.
211
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,200
(Miig): Impressive
numbers for senior hockey.
212
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,400
(Nat): But 50 ain't 75.
213
00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:33,229
Has Michaels been acting weird?
214
00:09:33,230 --> 00:09:35,200
(Ziig): Goalies
are always weird.
215
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:40,309
(Nat): The Wolves get so
many kids out to the games.
216
00:09:40,310 --> 00:09:43,339
I love seeing that. We need
to get more kids to the rink.
217
00:09:43,340 --> 00:09:44,950
(Miig): Kids in sports
stay off the streets.
218
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:47,479
(Ziig): Drugs kill dreams.
219
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,319
(Nat): Yeah.
220
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,720
Let's focus on
the youth, ladies.
221
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,689
(Ziig): Could
fucking puke. Ugly.
222
00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:57,430
(Shoresy): The good
thing about the calendars
223
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,560
is that none of us
looked too ugly.
224
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,360
Sure, we're all in
top shape, b'ys.
225
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:04,630
Why not put it up on a calendar?
226
00:10:04,630 --> 00:10:06,070
Yeah, like the calendars'll
always be there
227
00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:08,169
to remind us of a time
we weren't too ugly.
228
00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:10,069
One day we'll wish we're
still lookin' so good
229
00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:11,509
- as what we did.
- Settle down.
230
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:14,909
But it's kinda funny.
It's like, I come in,
231
00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:16,409
I take my tarp off,
232
00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:18,379
and then, we had to take
all your pictures again
233
00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:20,149
because you didn't
have your tarps off.
234
00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:21,720
Didn't think of it, old man.
235
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:25,349
Well, if I'm a broad lookin'
at a sexy calendar of dudes,
236
00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:27,389
I'm probably hopin' they
have their tarps off.
237
00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:29,759
Too hand to the game time
for a Martoonie, eh, me son?
238
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,889
Those calendars are gonna
bite us in the ass one day,
239
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:34,629
boys. All right,
who wants more?
240
00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:37,829
One, two, three, four,
fuckin' 500 probably.
241
00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:39,269
(Big Sexy): Tit fucker!
242
00:10:39,270 --> 00:10:41,099
(arena organ plays)
243
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,340
(Hitch): Didn't think of the
grease downs either, old man.
244
00:10:45,070 --> 00:10:47,309
Hey, we got eight Apeldoorn's
on deck here, gents.
245
00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:48,509
Let's get focused here now.
246
00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:50,239
First time I've been
in a room wit a dozen
247
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,150
or more greased up dudes, b'ys,
and might not be the last.
248
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,719
Well, if I'm a broad lookin'
at a calendar of sexy dudes
249
00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,349
with their tarps off,
I'm probably hopin'
250
00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,119
- they're greased down too.
- Les Jims.
251
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,189
Oh, is that the Jims?
252
00:11:02,190 --> 00:11:03,359
- (Jim 1): Yeah.
- Hey, Jim.
253
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:04,359
- (Jim 2): Hello.
- Jim.
254
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,430
(Jim 3): Sorry
we're late, Shoresy.
255
00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:06,730
We were playing
Reach For The Top.
256
00:11:06,730 --> 00:11:08,499
All the b'ys with the
spray tans too, look.
257
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:09,799
Well, Dolo didn't get one.
258
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,569
For obvious reasons. Eh, Dolo?
259
00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:13,569
It's pretty obvious why
you didn't get one, eh?
260
00:11:13,570 --> 00:11:14,839
And ain't it sum'in.
261
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,539
The Jims didn't lift
a single weight,
262
00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:18,469
kept der tarps on
the entire time,
263
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,679
and still might be d'most
popular of all the b'ys.
264
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,079
Now see, that idea was all me,
265
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:23,610
but how 'bout a little
focusin' here, boys?
266
00:11:23,610 --> 00:11:25,710
- Let's get focused in here now.
- Wait, are we talkin' about
267
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:27,519
puttin' them in their
jail guard uniforms?
268
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,179
Oh, see Hitch,
269
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:32,220
Fish would be the
ugliest guy in this room.
270
00:11:32,890 --> 00:11:35,190
Be a lot less ugly if you were
still scorin' a goal a game.
271
00:11:35,190 --> 00:11:36,560
You know, I think
the uniforms gave...
272
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,490
Shut the fuck up, Michaels.
273
00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:40,829
- (loud fart)
- Well, like, if I'm a broad
274
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,899
looking at a sexy calendar
of greased-down dudes
275
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:45,499
with their tarps off, I for sure
wouldn't mind a few rugged men
276
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:47,299
- in uniform sauced in there.
- Settle down.
277
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:48,940
Fuckin' bak'er right
into the cake, eh Jim?
278
00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:49,899
- Yeah.
- Jim?
279
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,239
- Yes.
- Jim?
280
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,670
Traditionally, men in
uniform do pretty well
281
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,240
with broads, but you
should still ask them
282
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,739
how they're doing
the odd time, too.
283
00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:57,579
(Shoresy): Big
warm-up here, boys!
284
00:11:57,580 --> 00:11:58,910
Let's get the blood
flowin' here now!
285
00:11:58,910 --> 00:12:00,349
(Dolo): Hey, Jim.
(Jim 1): Yeah.
286
00:12:00,350 --> 00:12:01,479
Jim. (Jim 2): Hello.
287
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:02,649
- Jim.
- What's up, Dolo?
288
00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:04,020
What's goin' on, buddy?
289
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:05,750
(Michaels): Trivia.
It's like a trivia...
290
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:06,950
(Shoresy): Shut the
fuck up, Michaels.
291
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:08,519
We run a trivia league
at the jail, bro.
292
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,320
(Shoresy): Mental game
starts in warm-up here, boys.
293
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,259
Let's go now. (Hitch):
But ya calls it
294
00:12:12,260 --> 00:12:13,629
- Reach For De Top?
- Yeah.
295
00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:15,959
Reach For The Top's an
old Canadian TV game show.
296
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,530
But now it's just mostly
run out of high schools.
297
00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:20,429
(Fish): And you run it outta
the jail, like with the inmates?
298
00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:21,840
(Shoresy): No, with
the mouses, Fish.
299
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,440
Yeah, in teams of four.
The inmates compete
300
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,240
against each other but we
also have a team of four.
301
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,510
- (Michaels): Who's your fourth?
- Timmins Timber Kings, boys!
302
00:12:27,510 --> 00:12:29,280
Let's get that fuckin' record!
303
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:32,449
Are you rolling?
304
00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:33,949
Cory, are you rolling?
305
00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:35,479
Shoresy will get
going before warm-up
306
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,320
so you should always be
rolling when they hit the ice.
307
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,990
Actually, start rolling when
they're in the tunnel even.
308
00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:41,589
- I'm rolling.
- You know, if you clip
309
00:12:41,590 --> 00:12:44,729
your walkie mic to your shoulder
you can get to it a lot quicker.
310
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:46,189
You see how I got mine?
311
00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:48,060
(Cory): I'm not doing that.
312
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,429
- Why not?
- 'Cause I've never seen a guy
313
00:12:50,430 --> 00:12:51,670
with a walkie clipped
to his shoulder
314
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:53,569
gettin' his dink
sucked. (walkie beeps)
315
00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:55,340
Found your way outta the
corn maze, eh Apeldoorn,
316
00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:57,839
- ya fuckin' loser?
- Comin' for that streak, bud!
317
00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,039
Hey, Bill Gates buying up
farmland around you guys too or?
318
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,309
Wearing number 8 for the
Timmins Timber Kings,
319
00:13:03,310 --> 00:13:06,349
Mervin Emmanual Moses. What
a moment for this young man
320
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:09,279
as it is no doubt the greatest
moment of his entire life.
321
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,889
Hey, which one are you?
Fuckin' Elmer Isaac Ezekiel?
322
00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:13,450
- (Apeldoorn): You're dead.
- You're dead.
323
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:15,659
- No, I'm-I'm gonna kill ya.
- I'm gonna kill you.
324
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:17,389
I'm serious, I'll
fuckin' kill ya, Shoresy.
325
00:13:17,390 --> 00:13:19,329
All right, first shift,
we kill each other.
326
00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:21,829
- 20-game heater, ladies.
- Let's go, 21.
327
00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:23,230
The eldest Apeldoorn's
been fighting everyone
328
00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:25,699
- on the home stretch.
- We'll play any way you want.
329
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:27,999
The luxury of having a full
squad of guys who will go.
330
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,739
The only real fight's between
our team to see who gets him.
331
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:33,839
- Well, not all of them will go.
- True.
332
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,039
Yeah, but the one who won't
will spear you in the face
333
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,409
before you get your mitts off.
334
00:13:37,410 --> 00:13:38,580
(Sanguinet): Shoresy, you ready?
335
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:40,309
Give your balls a
tug, tit fucker.
336
00:13:40,310 --> 00:13:41,749
You're goin'! (Team): Yaa-hoo!
337
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,420
(Sanguinet): Frankie, you
ready? (Frankie belches)
338
00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:45,219
You're goin'! (Team): Yaa-hoo!
339
00:13:45,220 --> 00:13:47,349
- Goody, you ready?
- Let's fuckin' go, Sanger.
340
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:49,259
Good 'cause you're
goin'! (Team): Yaa-hoo!
341
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,559
- Hitch, you ready?
- All hands, b'ys!
342
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,289
Good 'cause you're
goin'! (Team): Yaa-hoo!
343
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,430
Dolo, run 'em up
and fill 'em in?
344
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,400
Good 'cause you're fuckin' goin!
345
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,369
- (Team): Yaa-hoo!
- The best goalie in the NOSHO,
346
00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:01,270
- Michaels, are you ready?
- You're damn right, Sanger!
347
00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:02,669
Good, 'cause you're
fuckin' goin'!
348
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:05,440
- (Team): Yaa-hoo!
- Pack mentality, boys!
349
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:10,210
(electronic music plays)
350
00:14:34,070 --> 00:14:37,240
(music intensifies)
351
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:53,750
(crowd cheers and boos)
352
00:15:02,330 --> 00:15:03,459
(crowd cheers)
353
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:05,299
(Shoresy): Who's gonna
set the tone, boys?
354
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,569
Who's gonna fuckin' set it?!
355
00:15:06,570 --> 00:15:08,339
(crowd cheering)
356
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:10,840
(players shouting indistinctly)
357
00:15:13,910 --> 00:15:15,680
(players): Yeah!
358
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,750
(crowd cheers loudly)
359
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:26,550
(horn buzzes)
360
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,489
Another goose egg for Michaels.
361
00:15:29,490 --> 00:15:30,659
Best goalie in the league.
362
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:32,189
He has been acting weird though.
363
00:15:32,190 --> 00:15:33,630
Goalies are always weird.
364
00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:36,599
- What?
- Listen.
365
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,029
(indistinct shouting)
366
00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:39,429
(Shoresy): Fuck's sake!
367
00:15:39,430 --> 00:15:41,600
We thought he was bad trying
to get us outta the bottom.
368
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,669
He is way worse trying
to keep us at the top.
369
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:46,940
(indistinct shouting)
370
00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:48,680
(Drumstick clunks)
You wanna chit-chat
371
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,009
with Apeldoorn between plays?
372
00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:52,109
Go fuck him up the ass
and get it over with!
373
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:55,349
We only get fuckin' two on
the Timmins Timber Kings?
374
00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:57,519
Half these guys worked
a fuckin' 12-hour shift.
375
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:58,589
We only get fuckin' two?
376
00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:00,219
We've got the fuckin'
Yanks next week.
377
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,059
We have the fuckin'
Yanks next week!
378
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:03,690
Bet they're over there
with a bag of trans fats
379
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:06,229
havin' a good fuckin'
laugh at us. Hey!
380
00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,729
You only get a
stick if you played
381
00:16:07,730 --> 00:16:10,059
more than five minutes.
(Drumsticks clattering)
382
00:16:10,060 --> 00:16:11,969
The useless don't get a stick
383
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:14,299
'cause the rest of ya can
only get two fuckin' tucks.
384
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:17,139
Fish! You used a get
a goal a fuckin' game.
385
00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:19,409
- How many'd ya get tonight? Huh?
- Zero.
386
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:22,179
- And the game before that?
- Zero.
387
00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:23,579
- And the game before that?
- Zero!
388
00:16:23,580 --> 00:16:25,749
- You don't get one either!
- But they didn't get any.
389
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:27,250
Yeah, if it weren't
for fuckin' Michaels,
390
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:28,920
the streak'd be over.
(Michaels): Thank you, Shoresy.
391
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,550
- Shut the fuck up, Michaels!
- Two-nothing lead's
392
00:16:30,550 --> 00:16:32,650
- the worst lead in hockey.
- And quit playin' the puck
393
00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:34,519
so much. Think you're
fuckin' Marty Turco?
394
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,489
(Drumstick clatters)
395
00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:39,229
We were flat as my
grade 4 girlfriend
396
00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:40,729
before Jim stepped in.
397
00:16:40,730 --> 00:16:42,430
Thanks, Shoresy. I think
any one of these guys
398
00:16:42,430 --> 00:16:43,930
- would have done the same...
- Thanks, Jim!
399
00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:46,769
What happened to "They don't
ask how, they ask how many?"
400
00:16:46,770 --> 00:16:48,540
- I'm asking how many!
- He's asking how many!
401
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,400
- I'm asking how many!
- He's fucking asking how many!
402
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,170
- Two isn't fuckin' enough!
- Yeah!
403
00:16:57,610 --> 00:17:00,950
(rap music plays)
404
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,740
(Nat): Is he all right?
(Miig): He's acting weird.
405
00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:25,169
(Ziig): Goalies
are always weird.
406
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,469
Two goals on Timmins?
407
00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:28,310
I swear, if Frankie wasn't
tucking two a game...
408
00:17:28,310 --> 00:17:31,410
- Frankie's on top of the world.
- Look at them.
409
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,480
No wonder they have
no legs in the third.
410
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,320
(Miig): They already played
a period between the sheets.
411
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,649
(Ziig): Perks of
being number one.
412
00:17:36,650 --> 00:17:37,889
Too many distractions.
413
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:38,989
Shoresy's on it.
414
00:17:38,990 --> 00:17:40,450
You know he wants that
fucking record, Nat.
415
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,559
- (Miig laughs)
- Look at you!
416
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,719
Go home, you're drunk.
417
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,659
Okay, Shoresy is
a dumb, ugly slut.
418
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,729
- Okay, she's back.
- Dumbest, ugliest slut
419
00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,630
- we've got maybe.
- I knew she was still in there.
420
00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:51,969
But that dude commits.
421
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:54,539
(indistinct chatter)
422
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:56,669
(Miig): Loves to win.
423
00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:57,969
(Nat): Hates to lose.
424
00:17:57,970 --> 00:18:00,169
(Ziig): Doesn't matter how
long it takes to get it.
425
00:18:00,170 --> 00:18:03,110
If he wants it, he'll work.
426
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,379
Guess the rest of them
just have to decide.
427
00:18:06,380 --> 00:18:09,449
Yeah. Do they wanna be the
best team in the league
428
00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:11,119
this year, or do they wanna be
429
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,119
the best team in
the league ever?
430
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:15,960
- Better decide quick.
- Mm-hmm.
431
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,059
'Cause they're comin'.
432
00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:21,360
(music intensifies)
31771
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