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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:16,380 ZIIGWAN: I think we should change angles. 2 00:00:16,470 --> 00:00:17,605 NAT: Why? 3 00:00:17,706 --> 00:00:19,419 ZIIGWAN: He looks like he's not even breathing. 4 00:00:19,443 --> 00:00:20,745 MIIGWAN: That's hockey players. 5 00:00:20,845 --> 00:00:22,558 Big personalities on the ice, but you can't pay them 6 00:00:22,582 --> 00:00:24,519 to have a shart of charisma away from it. 7 00:00:24,619 --> 00:00:25,956 This is so dumb. 8 00:00:26,056 --> 00:00:28,661 ZIIGWAN: There you go. There is some life. 9 00:00:28,761 --> 00:00:30,966 NAT: Do you think that we should showcase the teeth? 10 00:00:31,066 --> 00:00:33,471 - That's uniquely hockey, right? - MIIGWAN: I don't know. 11 00:00:33,571 --> 00:00:36,219 NAT: I think we should. MIIGWAN: You think people would like that? 12 00:00:36,243 --> 00:00:39,216 ZIIGWAN: Worst case, they feel bad for him and they say like, 13 00:00:39,316 --> 00:00:41,620 "OK, slugger, we'll come watch you play." 14 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,026 NAT: Shoresy! Smile for a second. 15 00:00:45,996 --> 00:00:47,632 ZIIGWAN: Take the dip out of your lip. 16 00:00:47,732 --> 00:00:50,438 - Me? ZIIGWAN: Holy fuck. 17 00:00:51,006 --> 00:00:52,575 - Go? Huh? ZIIGWAN: Shoresy. 18 00:00:52,676 --> 00:00:54,856 ZIIGWAN: Is this the first time you've sat in a stool? 19 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,650 - NAT: Ziig. - It isn't a stool, idiot. 20 00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:58,554 - NAT: Go. - Stools don't have back rests. 21 00:00:58,654 --> 00:01:00,091 MIIGWAN: Action! 22 00:01:00,825 --> 00:01:03,065 Are you and your family looking for something fun to do 23 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:05,601 - on a Sudbury Saturday night? - NAT: Ziig! 24 00:01:05,702 --> 00:01:08,007 MIIGWAN: OK, do it again. 25 00:01:08,107 --> 00:01:10,946 Are you and your family looking for something fun to do 26 00:01:11,046 --> 00:01:13,617 on a Sudbury Saturday night? [GIGGLING] 27 00:01:13,718 --> 00:01:15,588 - NAT: Ziigwan! - MIIGWAN: Why are you saying 28 00:01:15,688 --> 00:01:17,525 - "and" like that? - Because on the card, 29 00:01:17,625 --> 00:01:19,062 you've got "and" written in bold. 30 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,798 ZIIGWAN: That's italics, you dumb fuck. 31 00:01:20,898 --> 00:01:23,270 Fuck you, Ziig, you fucking twat. 32 00:01:24,039 --> 00:01:26,677 - NAT: You alright, Sanguinet? - MIIGWAN: Leave him alone. 33 00:01:26,777 --> 00:01:28,681 ZIIGWAN: He looks like he's in rigor mortis. 34 00:01:28,781 --> 00:01:30,318 NAT: Are you nervous or something? 35 00:01:30,418 --> 00:01:32,122 - A bit. - SHORESY: Sanger, you look like 36 00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,426 someone stuck a giant Popsicle stick to your spine 37 00:01:34,526 --> 00:01:36,886 - and is holding you up by it. - MIIGWAN: Fuck you, Shoresy. 38 00:01:36,965 --> 00:01:38,210 SHORESY: Well, he looks like an idiot. 39 00:01:38,234 --> 00:01:39,579 - NAT: Shut up. - SHORESY: It's like someone's 40 00:01:39,603 --> 00:01:40,671 holding him like a puppet. 41 00:01:40,772 --> 00:01:42,542 What's that called, a taxidermist? 42 00:01:42,642 --> 00:01:44,479 MIIGWAN: "Vantriloquist", you dunce. 43 00:01:44,579 --> 00:01:46,650 ZIIGWAN: It's actually ven-triloquist. 44 00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:48,430 SHORESY: Uh-oh, Ziig, looks like your sister's 45 00:01:48,454 --> 00:01:49,756 better looking and smarter. 46 00:01:49,856 --> 00:01:51,660 NAT: Isn't it marionette? 47 00:01:52,295 --> 00:01:53,631 I have to pee. 48 00:01:53,731 --> 00:01:57,372 Are you and your family looking for something fun to do 49 00:01:57,472 --> 00:01:58,975 on a Sudbury Saturday night? 50 00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:00,878 [LAUGHTER] 51 00:02:00,979 --> 00:02:02,691 ZIIGWAN: The italics are fucking them up, Nat. 52 00:02:02,715 --> 00:02:04,429 - What're ya at, old man? - SHORESY: Hitch, you're such 53 00:02:04,453 --> 00:02:06,123 a fucking beauty, I sometimes forget 54 00:02:06,223 --> 00:02:08,727 what an odd-looking east coast cunt you are. 55 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,671 SHORESY: Looks like he brushes his teeth with a brick, eh? 56 00:02:15,775 --> 00:02:18,114 - SHORESY: Cut! - Is it Saturday Sudbury night 57 00:02:18,214 --> 00:02:21,120 - or Sudbury Saturday night? - SHORESY: Cut! 58 00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:23,691 So now I don't say what's on the card? 59 00:02:23,791 --> 00:02:25,394 - No, just-- - Huh? 60 00:02:25,495 --> 00:02:26,730 Just say what you want! 61 00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:29,536 - Yeah, so-- MIIGWAN: Don't swear! 62 00:02:30,171 --> 00:02:33,277 Yeah, so, we got a different team now. 63 00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,915 Like, even Sanger was on the last one, so. 64 00:02:36,016 --> 00:02:38,220 But now, he's coach and he's 1-0 so. 65 00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:42,395 So the Bulldogs aren't fu-- rigging around anymore. 66 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,864 The Bulldogs are gonna compete. 67 00:02:43,965 --> 00:02:48,240 So, if you wanna see the new Bulldogs then... 68 00:02:48,908 --> 00:02:50,946 get your bums in a seat. 69 00:02:53,451 --> 00:02:54,686 Cut. 70 00:02:55,288 --> 00:02:56,958 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 71 00:03:37,205 --> 00:03:40,044 - I'm gonna put you on your ass! - For what? 72 00:03:40,144 --> 00:03:42,015 Do not let him ruin it this time, Laurence. 73 00:03:42,115 --> 00:03:44,595 - Well, sounds like you want your dance to suck then, eh Kayla? 74 00:03:44,653 --> 00:03:45,922 - Plant your feet, girl. - Huh? 75 00:03:46,023 --> 00:03:48,360 - Plant your feet, girl? - Tell your uncle what's up. 76 00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:49,896 - Stay here. - That's what's up. 77 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,244 - Alright, well, I'll stay here. Sounds like you don't want 78 00:03:52,268 --> 00:03:53,747 anyone watching your dance, that's fine. 79 00:03:53,771 --> 00:03:55,384 We didn't even get to do the whole thing because 80 00:03:55,408 --> 00:03:57,087 - you were trying to stunt. - Oh, I'm just saying, 81 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:58,790 I heard some people saying they thought it lacked inclusion, 82 00:03:58,814 --> 00:04:00,694 - but whatever, it doesn't matter. - Fuck you, Waffle. 83 00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:03,133 - I'm just saying I heard some people saying they thought it lacked representation. 84 00:04:03,157 --> 00:04:05,437 So I just wanted to do something so she didn't get in trouble. 85 00:04:05,461 --> 00:04:06,597 - Doesn't matter. - Stay! 86 00:04:06,697 --> 00:04:08,210 - Yeah, I'll stay here. But just so you know, 87 00:04:08,234 --> 00:04:10,247 Carrie got Facebooked by some people saying they heard 88 00:04:10,271 --> 00:04:12,618 Justin Timberlake was down here doing some moves or whatever, 89 00:04:12,642 --> 00:04:13,988 - but doesn't matter. - Fuck Facebook. 90 00:04:14,012 --> 00:04:15,891 - Fucking Twitter'd or whatever. - Twitter's a cult. 91 00:04:15,915 --> 00:04:17,552 Fucking Shawn Mendes or whatever. 92 00:04:17,652 --> 00:04:19,189 - I'm a Belieber! - He can skate. 93 00:04:19,289 --> 00:04:20,889 - Don't ruin it, Waffle. - Alright, well, 94 00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:22,862 just go get me a Puppers and it's a deal. 95 00:04:27,906 --> 00:04:30,946 Sup, Free? Hmm? 96 00:04:31,713 --> 00:04:33,660 Looking a little anxious over there for someone who smells 97 00:04:33,684 --> 00:04:35,888 - like a Bob Marley fan. - Kid, don't be a tic. 98 00:04:35,989 --> 00:04:38,093 Hey, Free, why don't you go smoke another joystick? 99 00:04:38,193 --> 00:04:39,896 [CHUCKLES] Hey, Free, why don't we pick up 100 00:04:39,997 --> 00:04:41,900 - a 40 sack, smoke a session? - Waffle. 101 00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:44,172 Eh, Free? Wanna smoke a homegrown? Let's torch one. 102 00:04:44,272 --> 00:04:45,808 Get you feelin' all smoochy-woochy. 103 00:04:45,908 --> 00:04:48,247 Eh? Got some of that good Panatella Tommy Chong? 104 00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:51,720 Mm-hmm. Got some of that Maracachefa Manteca Mafafa? 105 00:04:52,755 --> 00:04:54,593 - Do your thing, pop. - Watch your mouth, Dad. 106 00:04:54,693 --> 00:04:56,863 - Wish me luck. Hello, luck. 107 00:04:56,965 --> 00:05:00,204 Hey, Free, save me some of that swaggy. Nothing too stemmy. 108 00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:06,250 Well, thank you for coming to our annual family reunion. 109 00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:08,921 [CHEERS] 110 00:05:09,957 --> 00:05:12,829 I appreciate all the highfalutin city bullshit 111 00:05:12,929 --> 00:05:14,432 you've managed to put aside. 112 00:05:14,532 --> 00:05:16,036 [APPLAUSE] You know... 113 00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:20,478 These gatherings are important because they remind ya 114 00:05:20,578 --> 00:05:25,354 of where you came from and how proud you should be of where you are. 115 00:05:25,454 --> 00:05:27,425 [APPLAUSE] 116 00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:31,566 My first foster child was the one they call Shoresy. 117 00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:35,408 - But the one you call... - ALL: Waffle. 118 00:05:35,508 --> 00:05:36,510 [LAUGHTER] 119 00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:37,645 As you can see, 120 00:05:37,745 --> 00:05:39,082 he was full bars fat. 121 00:05:39,182 --> 00:05:43,157 Well, I was a little fatso myself at the time, right? 122 00:05:43,257 --> 00:05:45,227 [LAUGHTER] Which is why I assumed 123 00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:46,763 they put him with me. 124 00:05:46,863 --> 00:05:50,973 We were a pair of chubsy butter-wubsys, huh? 125 00:05:51,073 --> 00:05:54,012 A couple of real ponchy-jumbos. 126 00:05:54,112 --> 00:05:57,752 Now, being fubsy was of no consequence to me down on the farm, 127 00:05:57,852 --> 00:05:59,789 but Shoresy was being teased at school 128 00:05:59,889 --> 00:06:01,560 for being a roly-poly. 129 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:02,862 Well, what did they call ya? 130 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,134 Plupy-Dumpers, Dumpy-chubbers, 131 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:09,309 - Whale-Whopper, Salad Dodger-- - Ha, full bars fat. 132 00:06:09,409 --> 00:06:14,419 And I could tell he was starting to not like himself very much. 133 00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:15,821 [MICROPHONE FEEDBACK] 134 00:06:15,921 --> 00:06:18,794 But then, Morris came. 135 00:06:18,894 --> 00:06:21,700 ALL: Big Mo! Big Mo! [APPLAUSE] 136 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,274 Now, when Morris arrived, Shoresy was eating a lot of waffles, 137 00:06:25,374 --> 00:06:28,280 which was the nickname Morris gave him. And it stuck. 138 00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:29,916 ALL: Waffle. 139 00:06:30,017 --> 00:06:31,486 He was as big as a house. 140 00:06:31,586 --> 00:06:34,092 I was as big as a fucking international house of pancakes. 141 00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:35,761 - [LAUGHTER] - Every time you walked 142 00:06:35,861 --> 00:06:38,467 into a room, there he was with a mouthful. 143 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:41,506 And a bead of sweat just dripping off his one chin. 144 00:06:41,606 --> 00:06:43,520 He was snacking eight, nine waffles for breakfast. 145 00:06:43,544 --> 00:06:45,848 - Well, there's eight to a pack. I wouldn't crack open 146 00:06:45,949 --> 00:06:47,953 a whole new pack just for a ninth Eggo. 147 00:06:48,053 --> 00:06:49,298 I'd fucking add a bowl of cereal. 148 00:06:49,322 --> 00:06:51,493 He was all sorts of cinnamon-roly. 149 00:06:51,593 --> 00:06:54,232 He was freezing chocolate bars, crunching 'em up 150 00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:56,252 with a hammer, and sprinkling 'em on his waffles. 151 00:06:56,303 --> 00:06:58,173 OK, Waffle, you got a good idea there. 152 00:06:58,273 --> 00:07:00,077 I was nuking 'em for a bit there too. 153 00:07:00,177 --> 00:07:01,522 Well, his whole life was a sundae bar. 154 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,119 Melting down Butterfingers in the microwave at noon. 155 00:07:04,219 --> 00:07:06,723 My whole plate looked like a fucking easter basket. 156 00:07:06,823 --> 00:07:09,596 - [LAUGHTER] - But then Morris came. 157 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,299 ALL: Big Mo! Big Mo! 158 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:15,641 Now, Morris was an athlete with no one to play with. 159 00:07:15,741 --> 00:07:17,712 So, Shoresy was given the task. 160 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,149 It was me and Waffle everywhere. 161 00:07:19,249 --> 00:07:20,885 Me and Waffle on the soccer field. 162 00:07:20,986 --> 00:07:22,956 Hey Waffle, you run like a girl! 163 00:07:23,057 --> 00:07:24,359 Me and Waffle at the ball park. 164 00:07:24,459 --> 00:07:26,196 Hey Waffle, you throw like a girl! 165 00:07:26,296 --> 00:07:28,033 Me and Waffle at the tennis court. 166 00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:31,139 - Hey Waffle, I'm gonna fuck... - BOTH: ...Serena Williams! 167 00:07:31,239 --> 00:07:33,410 - [LAUGHTER] - Day after day 168 00:07:33,510 --> 00:07:37,652 and game after game, Morris just pounded him into the ground. 169 00:07:37,752 --> 00:07:39,322 - Uh-huh. - Did he ever beat you, Dad? 170 00:07:39,422 --> 00:07:41,259 If you can't win, don't play, baby. 171 00:07:41,359 --> 00:07:44,833 Shoresy and Morris would compete from sun up to sun down. 172 00:07:44,933 --> 00:07:48,107 With Shoresy losing and losing and losing again. 173 00:07:48,207 --> 00:07:50,077 Which, of course, made him feel bad. 174 00:07:50,177 --> 00:07:53,150 He started to really hate it. But then, 175 00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:55,688 something clicked up there. 176 00:07:56,423 --> 00:07:58,127 He started to do something different. 177 00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:02,368 Shoresy started to play not just with Morris, but without Morris. 178 00:08:02,468 --> 00:08:06,309 And you know what happened? He started to get better. 179 00:08:06,409 --> 00:08:13,090 And before you knew it, one day, Shoresy beat Morris. 180 00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:14,793 [SOFT APPLAUSE] Well, just the one time, 181 00:08:14,893 --> 00:08:17,231 - but he did beat him. - Give your balls a tug. 182 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,037 He's been chasing that feeling ever since. 183 00:08:20,137 --> 00:08:22,542 And along the way, with all the work, 184 00:08:23,177 --> 00:08:25,748 the weight came off him. [APPLAUSE] 185 00:08:26,516 --> 00:08:29,122 - I hate this story. Don't be fat, and feel better. 186 00:08:29,222 --> 00:08:31,726 Yeah, let's figure out what makes you feel good. 187 00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:34,967 - Sometimes you need a little bit of tough love to get yourself sorted. 188 00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:36,903 Never going back again, baby. 189 00:08:37,004 --> 00:08:38,507 Crank it up, buddy, you're up next. 190 00:08:38,607 --> 00:08:40,711 - [LAUGHING] - Now, for all Waffle was fat, 191 00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:43,383 - Morris was dumb. - ALL: Big Mo! Big Mo! 192 00:08:43,484 --> 00:08:46,423 Fucking Mo was way dumber than I was fat. 193 00:08:46,523 --> 00:08:48,995 - You could barely run. - You could barely read. 194 00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,066 So there I am, straight out of the gate 195 00:08:51,166 --> 00:08:52,678 with a fat one and a dumb one. [LAUGHTER] 196 00:08:52,702 --> 00:08:54,205 Mo, you honestly wanna say 197 00:08:54,305 --> 00:08:55,976 that I was as fat as you were dumb? 198 00:08:56,076 --> 00:08:57,411 What are you gonna do, Waffle? 199 00:08:57,512 --> 00:08:59,883 Mo, your social worker said two things to Dad. 200 00:08:59,984 --> 00:09:02,188 He said, "You OK with Blacks?" Dad says, "Yeah." 201 00:09:02,288 --> 00:09:03,958 He says, "Well, how about a dumb one?" 202 00:09:04,058 --> 00:09:05,127 Shut up, Waffle! 203 00:09:05,227 --> 00:09:07,365 No, that may have been said, Kayla. 204 00:09:07,465 --> 00:09:09,536 - Hand to heart, Kayla. - And as I'm wondering 205 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:12,241 if this was all a big mistake, in walks Carrie. 206 00:09:12,341 --> 00:09:16,917 ALL: Care bear count down, four, three, two, one! 207 00:09:17,018 --> 00:09:18,220 [CHUCKLING] 208 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,858 Now, where Morris helped Waffle with being fat, 209 00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:23,063 Carrie helped Morris with being dumb. 210 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,969 - Morris wasn't that dumb. He just needed a good tutor. 211 00:09:26,069 --> 00:09:27,905 Hey Mo, what comes after a thousand? 212 00:09:28,507 --> 00:09:31,046 - Two thousand. - A thousand and one! 213 00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:32,457 - [LAUGHTER] - Yeah, as a social worker, 214 00:09:32,481 --> 00:09:34,452 I can confidently say that Mo's social worker 215 00:09:34,552 --> 00:09:36,599 - wouldn't have called him dumb. - Well, actually, Care, 216 00:09:36,623 --> 00:09:39,162 it was dumb, and then later, real fucking dumb. 217 00:09:39,262 --> 00:09:40,966 You know, I think that was said. 218 00:09:41,066 --> 00:09:42,869 Well, real fucking dumb has a Tim Hortons 219 00:09:42,970 --> 00:09:45,774 franchise, bitch. Owner Operator. 220 00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:47,315 No way the social worker said dumb. 221 00:09:47,411 --> 00:09:48,823 You wanna know what your social worker 222 00:09:48,847 --> 00:09:51,253 said to Dad, Carrie? He said, "You OK with Asians?" 223 00:09:51,353 --> 00:09:53,757 Dad says, "Yeah." And she says, "Well, how about a gay one?" 224 00:09:53,857 --> 00:09:55,070 - Fuck you, Waffle. [CROWD GASPS] 225 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,166 - No, Free. That was definitely said. 226 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,339 - Something you wanna say, Free? - You don't want it, girl. 227 00:10:01,439 --> 00:10:03,443 - He don't want it. - Free! 228 00:10:03,544 --> 00:10:06,249 - Let's get into it, Waffle. 'Cause you're gonna hear this. 229 00:10:06,349 --> 00:10:08,720 You're all gonna hear this. 230 00:10:10,357 --> 00:10:13,096 I know you all see our engagement rings. 231 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:15,000 I know you're all talking. 232 00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:18,206 Those two girls can't be together, it ain't right. 233 00:10:19,442 --> 00:10:23,083 Well, guess what?! Carrie is not my sister. 234 00:10:23,183 --> 00:10:25,220 She's my foster sister, 235 00:10:25,321 --> 00:10:27,167 so it's completely fine that we're getting married. 236 00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,360 Sounds perfectly fine. 237 00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:29,829 And she was only my foster sister 238 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,301 - for a year and a half. - Just keep saying you're sisters, 239 00:10:32,401 --> 00:10:34,615 Free, it's likely one of those "the more you hear it" things. 240 00:10:34,639 --> 00:10:37,211 - CARRIE & FREE: Dad! - You both call him Dad, Care! 241 00:10:37,311 --> 00:10:39,091 - I mean, it's like-- - You were called sisters 242 00:10:39,115 --> 00:10:40,284 and brothers on the farm. 243 00:10:40,384 --> 00:10:42,388 Hey, Free, you know any brothers with sisters 244 00:10:42,488 --> 00:10:44,559 who fire digits up each other? 245 00:10:44,659 --> 00:10:45,962 But you're not blood. 246 00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:46,964 Right? 247 00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:49,836 So, I think it's perfectly fine 248 00:10:49,936 --> 00:10:51,640 for you to get married, Free. 249 00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:52,808 - [APPLAUSE] - Thank you! 250 00:10:52,908 --> 00:10:54,279 But, you didn't seriously think 251 00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:56,616 we weren't gonna take the piss out of ya, did ya? 252 00:10:56,716 --> 00:10:57,785 [LAUGHING] 253 00:10:57,885 --> 00:10:59,022 You're worth it. 254 00:10:59,622 --> 00:11:02,461 Get a room you fucking sister wife! 255 00:11:04,799 --> 00:11:06,836 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 256 00:11:08,407 --> 00:11:10,210 So there was no foster mom? 257 00:11:10,311 --> 00:11:12,148 - No, just the dad. - Huh. 258 00:11:12,248 --> 00:11:14,585 Hence the fascination for older women. 259 00:11:17,558 --> 00:11:19,195 You coming to the game tonight? 260 00:11:19,295 --> 00:11:21,299 - Laurence Leboeuf! - Laurence Leboeuf! 261 00:11:21,399 --> 00:11:23,670 - Laurence Leboeuf! Bonjour! 262 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,572 Salut! 263 00:11:24,672 --> 00:11:25,441 Remy Nadeau. 264 00:11:25,541 --> 00:11:26,910 Avec mon partenaire Benoit... 265 00:11:27,011 --> 00:11:29,282 - Benny! - Benoit Benny Brodeur. 266 00:11:29,382 --> 00:11:32,088 - Et moi, Remy Nadeau. - Laurence Leboeuf! 267 00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:33,790 Laurence Leboeuf! 268 00:11:37,098 --> 00:11:38,233 Yup. 269 00:11:39,702 --> 00:11:41,106 BOTH: Ah. 270 00:11:41,206 --> 00:11:43,644 Remy Nadeau avec mon partenaire Benoit... 271 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:44,746 Benny Coach! 272 00:11:44,846 --> 00:11:48,353 - Benoit Benny Brodeur. We go everywhere JJ go. 273 00:11:48,453 --> 00:11:51,559 - I do the plays-by-play. - And I do the colours! 274 00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:53,697 Benoit Benny Brodeur do the colours. 275 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,369 I, Remy Nadeau, do the plays-by-play. 276 00:11:56,469 --> 00:11:59,642 - Laurence Leboeuf. - Laurence Leboeuf. 277 00:12:04,252 --> 00:12:06,222 - Lysandre Nadeau? [MUMBLING] 278 00:12:15,607 --> 00:12:17,812 - Lysandre Nadeau. Remy Nadeau. 279 00:12:17,912 --> 00:12:20,284 All the Quebecois starlets, they love the JJ. 280 00:12:20,384 --> 00:12:22,288 All of Quebec love him, coach. 281 00:12:27,999 --> 00:12:30,604 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 282 00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:21,706 - Oui, allo, Lysandre Nadeau. - Coucou. 283 00:13:59,015 --> 00:14:01,753 Oh my God, no way, Laura Mohr is the hottest girl 284 00:14:01,853 --> 00:14:05,160 in Sudbury, you fucking idiot. Oh my God. 285 00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:09,035 Oh, hey, Laura. Did you just hear that piece of shit? So dumb. 286 00:14:09,135 --> 00:14:11,773 Judging by the parking lot, a handful of people care now. 287 00:14:11,873 --> 00:14:13,143 Sudbury Saturday night. 288 00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:14,645 Cheapest drinks in the city too. 289 00:14:14,745 --> 00:14:17,384 When are you gonna let me take you out for some good Caribbean? 290 00:14:17,485 --> 00:14:19,722 - I don't date sluts. - My God are you good-looking. 291 00:14:19,822 --> 00:14:23,196 I know I may come off as a real devil-may-care kind of guy, 292 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,656 but we both know you'd run my show. 293 00:14:24,699 --> 00:14:26,769 - Yeah? How so? - I'd take a header off 294 00:14:26,870 --> 00:14:29,041 the Bridge of Nations just to brush arms with ya. 295 00:14:29,142 --> 00:14:31,146 - Oh? - I'd full gainer down the crack 296 00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,915 in Kilarney just to hold your purse. 297 00:14:33,016 --> 00:14:34,685 - Mm. - I'd sit my bare ass 298 00:14:34,785 --> 00:14:37,858 on the big nickel just to have you flick some debris off my shirt, 299 00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:39,963 I swear to God, I'd be so good to ya. 300 00:14:40,063 --> 00:14:42,663 - Does North Bay's captain still have the biggest C in the league? 301 00:14:42,735 --> 00:14:44,805 It's the biggest fucking C in the world. 302 00:14:44,906 --> 00:14:46,576 - [CHUCKLES] - See ya. 303 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,415 Hey, when was the last time 304 00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:51,319 you had some good assorted tempura. 305 00:14:51,419 --> 00:14:53,290 Fuck you, Shoresy! 306 00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:54,926 For what?! 307 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:56,462 - You guys win one-- - Huh? 308 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,476 You guys win one game and you think you can just 309 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:00,404 cruise in five minutes before warm-up? 310 00:15:00,504 --> 00:15:01,806 - Yeah-- - Huh? 311 00:15:01,906 --> 00:15:03,476 It's senior whale shit hockey, Ziig, 312 00:15:03,577 --> 00:15:05,480 it's not the fucking Knight's Watch. 313 00:15:05,581 --> 00:15:07,484 - Senior AAA. - Whale shit all the same. 314 00:15:07,585 --> 00:15:10,357 You're in half an hour before warm-up now, minimum. 315 00:15:10,457 --> 00:15:12,261 - For what?! - Ride the bike-- 316 00:15:12,361 --> 00:15:13,563 Huh? 317 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,534 - Ride the bike! - Nat, if I want a good laugh, 318 00:15:15,634 --> 00:15:18,006 - I'll watch Mr. Bean. - I'm serious. 319 00:15:18,106 --> 00:15:19,709 What bike?! 320 00:15:19,809 --> 00:15:21,479 Take your pick. 321 00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:25,654 Sponsors at the Blueberry Festival 322 00:15:25,754 --> 00:15:27,157 were so fired up about your win 323 00:15:27,258 --> 00:15:29,495 they decided to invest in another. 324 00:15:33,370 --> 00:15:35,874 - No one's gonna use this. - I know. 325 00:15:35,975 --> 00:15:37,912 - Not one player will use this. [SIGHS] 326 00:15:38,013 --> 00:15:40,026 - Good work, Blueberry Fest. - Like, the bikes, maybe. 327 00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:41,085 People love biking. 328 00:15:41,185 --> 00:15:42,330 Three bikes is excessive though. 329 00:15:42,354 --> 00:15:43,566 They think we've got three fucking 330 00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:45,394 Rod Brind'amours or what? [SIGHS] 331 00:15:45,494 --> 00:15:46,729 - They were so fired-- - Huh? 332 00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:48,409 They were so fired up when they wheeled 333 00:15:48,433 --> 00:15:50,246 - all this shit in. - Are you trying not to laugh? 334 00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:53,043 - I had to pretend to be fired up too because they were so fired up. 335 00:15:53,143 --> 00:15:55,089 Does it come with some fucking Gary Roberts tapes or what? 336 00:15:55,113 --> 00:15:57,484 I don't think they understand Senior "Whale Shit" Hockey. 337 00:15:57,585 --> 00:15:58,753 Senior AAA. 338 00:15:58,853 --> 00:16:00,333 SHORESY & NAT: Whale shit all the same. 339 00:16:00,357 --> 00:16:02,161 - Like, watch this. Hey, Jims. 340 00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:03,830 - They work out, Jim? - Yeah. 341 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,069 When was the last time you worked out, Jim? 342 00:16:06,169 --> 00:16:07,371 - 2012. - Jim? 343 00:16:07,471 --> 00:16:08,707 - Grade ten. - Jim? 344 00:16:08,807 --> 00:16:10,444 I'd have to think about that, Shoresy. 345 00:16:10,544 --> 00:16:11,913 I can't quite recall right now. 346 00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:14,218 The truth is, I never really enjoyed doing cardio. 347 00:16:14,318 --> 00:16:15,687 Thanks, Jims. 348 00:16:15,787 --> 00:16:17,491 I wanted to tell them most of these guys 349 00:16:17,591 --> 00:16:19,338 have families and jobs, they don't play Senior hockey 350 00:16:19,362 --> 00:16:20,731 to come to the rink and work out. 351 00:16:20,831 --> 00:16:23,403 - I bet the Soo work out. - The Soo are so fucking good. 352 00:16:23,503 --> 00:16:25,143 Seriously though, don't cut it so close. 353 00:16:25,173 --> 00:16:27,411 Get a good warm up in or you're gonna get hurt. 354 00:16:27,511 --> 00:16:28,847 - Tell the sluts. - You tell 'em. 355 00:16:28,948 --> 00:16:30,751 - They're not here. - Are they not here yet? 356 00:16:30,851 --> 00:16:32,655 - Shoresy, do you see-- - Huh? 357 00:16:33,056 --> 00:16:34,525 Come with me. 358 00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:38,199 North Bay Norseman, baby. Gonna win? 359 00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:39,802 Well, if you can't win, don't play. 360 00:16:39,902 --> 00:16:42,308 - 'Cause if we lose. - We'll never lose again, Ziig. 361 00:16:42,408 --> 00:16:43,743 I hate playing these guys. 362 00:16:43,843 --> 00:16:45,614 Well, I fucking love playing these guys. 363 00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,494 Because they don't beat us as bad as the Soo? 364 00:16:47,518 --> 00:16:49,264 No, 'cause of the C on their captain's sweater. 365 00:16:49,288 --> 00:16:50,700 - Keller? - It's the biggest C you've 366 00:16:50,724 --> 00:16:52,704 ever seen in your life. Ziig, I can see you're real 367 00:16:52,728 --> 00:16:53,863 slammed here and everything, 368 00:16:53,965 --> 00:16:55,734 but is someone gonna call the boys or no? 369 00:16:55,834 --> 00:16:57,504 - I got us a new tendy. - From who? 370 00:16:57,604 --> 00:16:58,640 - No-- - Huh? 371 00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:00,177 No one, he doesn't play anymore. 372 00:17:00,277 --> 00:17:02,381 Well, sounds way fucking dumber when you say it. 373 00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:04,018 - A little heads up-- - Oh my God, 374 00:17:04,118 --> 00:17:05,158 is it this guy right here? 375 00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:06,967 Did you get him from fucking Cirque du Soleil? 376 00:17:06,991 --> 00:17:09,261 Cirque de Soleil, and no answer from Dolo. 377 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,831 It's actually Cirque du Soleil, 378 00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:12,568 and no answer from Sanguinet either. 379 00:17:12,668 --> 00:17:14,705 - You know him. - No, I don't know either 380 00:17:14,805 --> 00:17:16,619 - of the Ringling Brothers. - And you're gonna be-- 381 00:17:16,643 --> 00:17:19,148 Hey, bud, are you a fucking panhandler or something? 382 00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:20,884 Actually, you got a dip? 383 00:17:22,087 --> 00:17:23,289 Mark Michaels? 384 00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:24,692 Already, Nat? 385 00:17:24,792 --> 00:17:26,729 Our new tendy is fucking Mark Michaels? 386 00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:28,199 - You're go-- - Huh?! 387 00:17:28,299 --> 00:17:30,737 - You're gonna be nice to him. - It starts already, Nat. 388 00:17:30,837 --> 00:17:33,743 We lose 20 on the campaign, you gas him, then we win one, 389 00:17:33,843 --> 00:17:35,347 and so, you bring him back? Huh? 390 00:17:35,447 --> 00:17:36,649 - See, I knew that-- - Shut up! 391 00:17:36,749 --> 00:17:38,069 I knew this was a bad idea, Nat. 392 00:17:38,153 --> 00:17:40,190 - You shut up too. - Well, I knew it, Nat. 393 00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:41,526 She said shut up, slut. 394 00:17:41,626 --> 00:17:43,430 Why are you saying her name so much? 395 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:44,690 - Do you see, Nat? - Michaels! 396 00:17:44,732 --> 00:17:46,169 He said your name like, 20 times. 397 00:17:46,269 --> 00:17:47,404 - Shut up. - So annoying. 398 00:17:47,504 --> 00:17:48,549 - Nat! [TOGETHER] Oh my God! 399 00:17:48,573 --> 00:17:49,818 - Just shut up. And you, shut up. 400 00:17:49,842 --> 00:17:51,713 - No answer from Hitch. - No answer from Goody. 401 00:17:51,813 --> 00:17:54,085 - Both of you, listen. You're gonna apologize to him. 402 00:17:54,185 --> 00:17:55,454 - For what?! - For what? 403 00:17:55,554 --> 00:17:56,957 And you're gonna apologize to him. 404 00:17:57,057 --> 00:17:58,736 And then, you're not gonna talk to him anymore. 405 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,306 I don't wanna talk to him fucking ever. 406 00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,010 Good, 'cause I don't wanna talk to him either. 407 00:18:02,034 --> 00:18:03,713 - Oh, give your balls a tug. - NAT: Shoresy! 408 00:18:03,737 --> 00:18:05,017 He should be apologizing to me. 409 00:18:05,107 --> 00:18:07,478 - What the... Excuse me! - [MOCKING] Excuse me! 410 00:18:07,578 --> 00:18:08,646 For what? 411 00:18:08,747 --> 00:18:10,027 For being such a fucking loser. 412 00:18:10,117 --> 00:18:10,751 Know what? That's it. 413 00:18:10,851 --> 00:18:12,388 Fucking tit fucker. 414 00:18:12,488 --> 00:18:13,808 - I'm out. - Yeah, take your balls 415 00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:15,536 - with you, pheasant. - Shoresy, apologize or we fold! 416 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,131 You can't just hold that over my head 417 00:18:17,231 --> 00:18:18,431 every time you need something. 418 00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:19,911 - Yes, I can. - ZIIG & MIIG: Yes, she can. 419 00:18:19,935 --> 00:18:21,255 Yes, she can, but she shouldn't. 420 00:18:21,339 --> 00:18:23,309 We need him. Tendy quit. 421 00:18:23,410 --> 00:18:24,578 Tendy finally wins a game 422 00:18:24,678 --> 00:18:26,749 - and he fucking quits? - Oh, I wonder why! 423 00:18:26,849 --> 00:18:28,763 Well, at least there's a bigger loser than Michaels. 424 00:18:28,787 --> 00:18:30,266 He's not supposed to be talking to me, Nat! 425 00:18:30,290 --> 00:18:32,261 I wasn't talking to him, I was talking to you. 426 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,565 Shoresy, he wants to win. 427 00:18:34,665 --> 00:18:37,171 - But he doesn't hate to lose. - Apologize! 428 00:18:38,306 --> 00:18:39,909 - Well, I'm sorry. - For what? 429 00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:42,581 - I don't know. - For the party island squeezer in Wasaga. 430 00:18:42,681 --> 00:18:44,061 I didn't get the squeezer from her! 431 00:18:44,085 --> 00:18:45,485 Sanguinet got the squeezer from her. 432 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:46,789 Her brothers are super weird. 433 00:18:46,889 --> 00:18:49,161 But you were taking a fucking dump in the water! 434 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:50,998 Everybody was taking a dump in the water! 435 00:18:51,099 --> 00:18:55,240 - It's fucking Wasaga! - Apologize or we fold. 436 00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:59,950 - Sorry, bud. - To him! 437 00:19:03,156 --> 00:19:05,794 - Sorry, bud. - Thank you. Apology accep-- 438 00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:07,931 Is there seriously nothing back from the boys? 439 00:19:08,032 --> 00:19:09,802 - ZIIG & MIIG: No! - Get your shit on. 440 00:19:09,902 --> 00:19:12,341 - You ready? - Of course. 441 00:19:12,441 --> 00:19:13,643 Why do you think they call me 442 00:19:13,743 --> 00:19:14,989 "Never misses the Mark Michaels"? 443 00:19:15,013 --> 00:19:17,050 That's so fucking embarrassing, Nat. 444 00:19:17,151 --> 00:19:19,421 That's fucking humiliating. How do you not chirp that? 445 00:19:19,522 --> 00:19:21,359 Look, we just made the rules right now, 446 00:19:21,459 --> 00:19:22,704 and look, he's talking to me, Nat! 447 00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,098 I'm talking to her! 448 00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:26,869 Fucking tit fucker. 449 00:19:42,034 --> 00:19:44,705 Hey, everything's bigger in North Bay, eh Keller? 450 00:19:44,805 --> 00:19:47,010 You fucking loser. Hey, Keller, when they put 451 00:19:47,110 --> 00:19:48,948 that big fuck off C on your sweater, 452 00:19:49,048 --> 00:19:50,952 did they think you'd grow into it or what? 453 00:19:52,187 --> 00:19:54,792 Like, were they pissed when you didn't, or what? 454 00:19:54,892 --> 00:19:56,762 Hey, Keller, you got any leadership tips? 455 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,068 Just looking for some tips on being a leader. 456 00:19:59,168 --> 00:20:01,172 Jesus Christ, Keller, if they tried to put 457 00:20:01,272 --> 00:20:04,211 that big fuck off C on my sweater, I'd say, "No thanks." 458 00:20:04,311 --> 00:20:06,048 - Hey, Jim. - Yeah. 459 00:20:06,149 --> 00:20:07,584 - Jim? - Yes. 460 00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,121 - Jim? - Yeah, it's nice 461 00:20:09,221 --> 00:20:11,301 you're thinking of me, but I don't think it's a good idea. 462 00:20:11,325 --> 00:20:14,231 Making it bigger doesn't make it better, Keller. 463 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,204 It's not tits. 464 00:20:17,304 --> 00:20:18,806 - Miig? - Nothing. 465 00:20:18,907 --> 00:20:20,343 - Ziig? - Still nothing. 466 00:20:20,443 --> 00:20:21,646 - You worried? - Wee bit. 467 00:20:21,746 --> 00:20:23,016 - Me too. - Bigger fish to fry, 468 00:20:23,116 --> 00:20:25,487 for a second. You said a quarter full? 469 00:20:25,587 --> 00:20:26,990 That is a thing I said. 470 00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:28,092 - You worried? - Wee bit. 471 00:20:28,193 --> 00:20:31,065 - Me too. - Only one way to find out. 472 00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:34,205 Bums in seats, baby, let's go. 473 00:20:39,148 --> 00:20:40,417 Bums in seats. 474 00:20:40,517 --> 00:20:42,654 Call it more like one-eighth full. 475 00:20:42,754 --> 00:20:44,892 Nat, what the fuck? 476 00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:48,399 Fuck you, what the fuck, Shoresy, where are the sluts? 477 00:20:48,499 --> 00:20:50,136 - Are they not here? - No-- 478 00:20:50,237 --> 00:20:52,341 - Huh? Not even Sanger? Huh? - NAT & MIIG: No! 479 00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:57,384 Do we have a chance without them? 480 00:20:59,288 --> 00:21:01,192 You fucking plug. 481 00:21:01,292 --> 00:21:03,096 So, what do we do? 482 00:21:06,736 --> 00:21:08,941 If you can't win, don't play. 483 00:21:11,212 --> 00:21:12,212 What?! 484 00:21:12,281 --> 00:21:13,616 [BUZZER] 485 00:21:13,716 --> 00:21:16,422 [SPEAKING FRENCH] 486 00:21:30,650 --> 00:21:32,854 - Laurence Leboeuf. - Laurence Leboeuf! 487 00:21:59,241 --> 00:22:01,712 So, what they do, try to wait 488 00:22:01,812 --> 00:22:03,516 till the other guy leave the ice, 489 00:22:03,616 --> 00:22:06,155 but Shoresy, Keller, not giving it up. 490 00:22:06,255 --> 00:22:07,992 It's a Stevie Wonder superstition. 491 00:22:08,092 --> 00:22:10,330 [INDISTINCT COMMENTARY IN FRENCH] 492 00:22:20,550 --> 00:22:21,886 No, don't do that. 493 00:22:21,987 --> 00:22:24,825 [INDISTINCT COMMENTARY IN FRENCH] 494 00:22:26,429 --> 00:22:28,433 [CHEERING] 495 00:22:59,495 --> 00:23:01,465 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 41747

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