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1
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:16,380
ZIIGWAN: I think we should change angles.
2
00:00:16,470 --> 00:00:17,605
NAT: Why?
3
00:00:17,706 --> 00:00:19,419
ZIIGWAN: He looks like he's not even breathing.
4
00:00:19,443 --> 00:00:20,745
MIIGWAN: That's hockey players.
5
00:00:20,845 --> 00:00:22,558
Big personalities on the ice,
but you can't pay them
6
00:00:22,582 --> 00:00:24,519
to have a shart of charisma away from it.
7
00:00:24,619 --> 00:00:25,956
This is so dumb.
8
00:00:26,056 --> 00:00:28,661
ZIIGWAN: There you go.
There is some life.
9
00:00:28,761 --> 00:00:30,966
NAT: Do you think that
we should showcase the teeth?
10
00:00:31,066 --> 00:00:33,471
- That's uniquely hockey, right?
- MIIGWAN: I don't know.
11
00:00:33,571 --> 00:00:36,219
NAT: I think we should.
MIIGWAN: You think people would like that?
12
00:00:36,243 --> 00:00:39,216
ZIIGWAN: Worst case, they feel
bad for him and they say like,
13
00:00:39,316 --> 00:00:41,620
"OK, slugger, we'll come watch you play."
14
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,026
NAT: Shoresy!
Smile for a second.
15
00:00:45,996 --> 00:00:47,632
ZIIGWAN: Take the dip out of your lip.
16
00:00:47,732 --> 00:00:50,438
- Me?
ZIIGWAN: Holy fuck.
17
00:00:51,006 --> 00:00:52,575
- Go? Huh?
ZIIGWAN: Shoresy.
18
00:00:52,676 --> 00:00:54,856
ZIIGWAN: Is this the first
time you've sat in a stool?
19
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,650
- NAT: Ziig.
- It isn't a stool, idiot.
20
00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:58,554
- NAT: Go.
- Stools don't have back rests.
21
00:00:58,654 --> 00:01:00,091
MIIGWAN: Action!
22
00:01:00,825 --> 00:01:03,065
Are you and your family
looking for something fun to do
23
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:05,601
- on a Sudbury Saturday night?
- NAT: Ziig!
24
00:01:05,702 --> 00:01:08,007
MIIGWAN: OK, do it again.
25
00:01:08,107 --> 00:01:10,946
Are you and your family
looking for something fun to do
26
00:01:11,046 --> 00:01:13,617
on a Sudbury Saturday night?
[GIGGLING]
27
00:01:13,718 --> 00:01:15,588
- NAT: Ziigwan!
- MIIGWAN: Why are you saying
28
00:01:15,688 --> 00:01:17,525
- "and" like that?
- Because on the card,
29
00:01:17,625 --> 00:01:19,062
you've got "and" written in bold.
30
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,798
ZIIGWAN: That's italics, you dumb fuck.
31
00:01:20,898 --> 00:01:23,270
Fuck you, Ziig,
you fucking twat.
32
00:01:24,039 --> 00:01:26,677
- NAT: You alright, Sanguinet?
- MIIGWAN: Leave him alone.
33
00:01:26,777 --> 00:01:28,681
ZIIGWAN: He looks like he's in rigor mortis.
34
00:01:28,781 --> 00:01:30,318
NAT: Are you nervous or something?
35
00:01:30,418 --> 00:01:32,122
- A bit.
- SHORESY: Sanger, you look like
36
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,426
someone stuck a giant
Popsicle stick to your spine
37
00:01:34,526 --> 00:01:36,886
- and is holding you up by it.
- MIIGWAN: Fuck you, Shoresy.
38
00:01:36,965 --> 00:01:38,210
SHORESY: Well, he looks like an idiot.
39
00:01:38,234 --> 00:01:39,579
- NAT: Shut up.
- SHORESY: It's like someone's
40
00:01:39,603 --> 00:01:40,671
holding him like a puppet.
41
00:01:40,772 --> 00:01:42,542
What's that called, a taxidermist?
42
00:01:42,642 --> 00:01:44,479
MIIGWAN: "Vantriloquist", you dunce.
43
00:01:44,579 --> 00:01:46,650
ZIIGWAN: It's actually ven-triloquist.
44
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:48,430
SHORESY: Uh-oh, Ziig,
looks like your sister's
45
00:01:48,454 --> 00:01:49,756
better looking and smarter.
46
00:01:49,856 --> 00:01:51,660
NAT: Isn't it marionette?
47
00:01:52,295 --> 00:01:53,631
I have to pee.
48
00:01:53,731 --> 00:01:57,372
Are you and your family
looking for something fun to do
49
00:01:57,472 --> 00:01:58,975
on a Sudbury Saturday night?
50
00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:00,878
[LAUGHTER]
51
00:02:00,979 --> 00:02:02,691
ZIIGWAN: The italics are fucking them up, Nat.
52
00:02:02,715 --> 00:02:04,429
- What're ya at, old man?
- SHORESY: Hitch, you're such
53
00:02:04,453 --> 00:02:06,123
a fucking beauty, I sometimes forget
54
00:02:06,223 --> 00:02:08,727
what an odd-looking east coast cunt you are.
55
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,671
SHORESY: Looks like he brushes
his teeth with a brick, eh?
56
00:02:15,775 --> 00:02:18,114
- SHORESY: Cut!
- Is it Saturday Sudbury night
57
00:02:18,214 --> 00:02:21,120
- or Sudbury Saturday night?
- SHORESY: Cut!
58
00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:23,691
So now I don't say what's on the card?
59
00:02:23,791 --> 00:02:25,394
- No, just--
- Huh?
60
00:02:25,495 --> 00:02:26,730
Just say what you want!
61
00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:29,536
- Yeah, so--
MIIGWAN: Don't swear!
62
00:02:30,171 --> 00:02:33,277
Yeah, so, we got a different team now.
63
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,915
Like, even Sanger was on the last one, so.
64
00:02:36,016 --> 00:02:38,220
But now, he's coach and he's 1-0 so.
65
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:42,395
So the Bulldogs aren't fu--
rigging around anymore.
66
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,864
The Bulldogs are gonna compete.
67
00:02:43,965 --> 00:02:48,240
So, if you wanna see
the new Bulldogs then...
68
00:02:48,908 --> 00:02:50,946
get your bums in a seat.
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00:02:53,451 --> 00:02:54,686
Cut.
70
00:02:55,288 --> 00:02:56,958
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
71
00:03:37,205 --> 00:03:40,044
- I'm gonna put you on your ass!
- For what?
72
00:03:40,144 --> 00:03:42,015
Do not let him ruin it this time, Laurence.
73
00:03:42,115 --> 00:03:44,595
- Well, sounds like you want
your dance to suck then, eh Kayla?
74
00:03:44,653 --> 00:03:45,922
- Plant your feet, girl.
- Huh?
75
00:03:46,023 --> 00:03:48,360
- Plant your feet, girl?
- Tell your uncle what's up.
76
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:49,896
- Stay here.
- That's what's up.
77
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,244
- Alright, well, I'll stay here.
Sounds like you don't want
78
00:03:52,268 --> 00:03:53,747
anyone watching your dance, that's fine.
79
00:03:53,771 --> 00:03:55,384
We didn't even get
to do the whole thing because
80
00:03:55,408 --> 00:03:57,087
- you were trying to stunt.
- Oh, I'm just saying,
81
00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:58,790
I heard some people saying they
thought it lacked inclusion,
82
00:03:58,814 --> 00:04:00,694
- but whatever, it doesn't matter.
- Fuck you, Waffle.
83
00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:03,133
- I'm just saying I heard some people saying
they thought it lacked representation.
84
00:04:03,157 --> 00:04:05,437
So I just wanted to do something
so she didn't get in trouble.
85
00:04:05,461 --> 00:04:06,597
- Doesn't matter.
- Stay!
86
00:04:06,697 --> 00:04:08,210
- Yeah, I'll stay here.
But just so you know,
87
00:04:08,234 --> 00:04:10,247
Carrie got Facebooked
by some people saying they heard
88
00:04:10,271 --> 00:04:12,618
Justin Timberlake was down here
doing some moves or whatever,
89
00:04:12,642 --> 00:04:13,988
- but doesn't matter.
- Fuck Facebook.
90
00:04:14,012 --> 00:04:15,891
- Fucking Twitter'd or whatever.
- Twitter's a cult.
91
00:04:15,915 --> 00:04:17,552
Fucking Shawn Mendes or whatever.
92
00:04:17,652 --> 00:04:19,189
- I'm a Belieber!
- He can skate.
93
00:04:19,289 --> 00:04:20,889
- Don't ruin it, Waffle.
- Alright, well,
94
00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:22,862
just go get me a Puppers and it's a deal.
95
00:04:27,906 --> 00:04:30,946
Sup, Free?
Hmm?
96
00:04:31,713 --> 00:04:33,660
Looking a little anxious over
there for someone who smells
97
00:04:33,684 --> 00:04:35,888
- like a Bob Marley fan.
- Kid, don't be a tic.
98
00:04:35,989 --> 00:04:38,093
Hey, Free, why don't you go
smoke another joystick?
99
00:04:38,193 --> 00:04:39,896
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, Free, why don't we pick up
100
00:04:39,997 --> 00:04:41,900
- a 40 sack, smoke a session?
- Waffle.
101
00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:44,172
Eh, Free? Wanna smoke a homegrown?
Let's torch one.
102
00:04:44,272 --> 00:04:45,808
Get you feelin' all smoochy-woochy.
103
00:04:45,908 --> 00:04:48,247
Eh? Got some of that good
Panatella Tommy Chong?
104
00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:51,720
Mm-hmm. Got some of that
Maracachefa Manteca Mafafa?
105
00:04:52,755 --> 00:04:54,593
- Do your thing, pop.
- Watch your mouth, Dad.
106
00:04:54,693 --> 00:04:56,863
- Wish me luck.
Hello, luck.
107
00:04:56,965 --> 00:05:00,204
Hey, Free, save me some of that swaggy.
Nothing too stemmy.
108
00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:06,250
Well, thank you for coming
to our annual family reunion.
109
00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:08,921
[CHEERS]
110
00:05:09,957 --> 00:05:12,829
I appreciate all the
highfalutin city bullshit
111
00:05:12,929 --> 00:05:14,432
you've managed to put aside.
112
00:05:14,532 --> 00:05:16,036
[APPLAUSE]
You know...
113
00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:20,478
These gatherings are important
because they remind ya
114
00:05:20,578 --> 00:05:25,354
of where you came from and how
proud you should be of where you are.
115
00:05:25,454 --> 00:05:27,425
[APPLAUSE]
116
00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:31,566
My first foster child was
the one they call Shoresy.
117
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:35,408
- But the one you call...
- ALL: Waffle.
118
00:05:35,508 --> 00:05:36,510
[LAUGHTER]
119
00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:37,645
As you can see,
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00:05:37,745 --> 00:05:39,082
he was full bars fat.
121
00:05:39,182 --> 00:05:43,157
Well, I was a little fatso
myself at the time, right?
122
00:05:43,257 --> 00:05:45,227
[LAUGHTER]
Which is why I assumed
123
00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:46,763
they put him with me.
124
00:05:46,863 --> 00:05:50,973
We were a pair of chubsy
butter-wubsys, huh?
125
00:05:51,073 --> 00:05:54,012
A couple of real ponchy-jumbos.
126
00:05:54,112 --> 00:05:57,752
Now, being fubsy was of no
consequence to me down on the farm,
127
00:05:57,852 --> 00:05:59,789
but Shoresy was being teased at school
128
00:05:59,889 --> 00:06:01,560
for being a roly-poly.
129
00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:02,862
Well, what did they call ya?
130
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,134
Plupy-Dumpers, Dumpy-chubbers,
131
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:09,309
- Whale-Whopper, Salad Dodger--
- Ha, full bars fat.
132
00:06:09,409 --> 00:06:14,419
And I could tell he was starting
to not like himself very much.
133
00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:15,821
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
134
00:06:15,921 --> 00:06:18,794
But then, Morris came.
135
00:06:18,894 --> 00:06:21,700
ALL: Big Mo! Big Mo!
[APPLAUSE]
136
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,274
Now, when Morris arrived,
Shoresy was eating a lot of waffles,
137
00:06:25,374 --> 00:06:28,280
which was the nickname Morris gave him.
And it stuck.
138
00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:29,916
ALL: Waffle.
139
00:06:30,017 --> 00:06:31,486
He was as big as a house.
140
00:06:31,586 --> 00:06:34,092
I was as big as a fucking
international house of pancakes.
141
00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:35,761
- [LAUGHTER]
- Every time you walked
142
00:06:35,861 --> 00:06:38,467
into a room, there he was with a mouthful.
143
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:41,506
And a bead of sweat just
dripping off his one chin.
144
00:06:41,606 --> 00:06:43,520
He was snacking eight,
nine waffles for breakfast.
145
00:06:43,544 --> 00:06:45,848
- Well, there's eight to a pack.
I wouldn't crack open
146
00:06:45,949 --> 00:06:47,953
a whole new pack just for a ninth Eggo.
147
00:06:48,053 --> 00:06:49,298
I'd fucking add a bowl of cereal.
148
00:06:49,322 --> 00:06:51,493
He was all sorts of cinnamon-roly.
149
00:06:51,593 --> 00:06:54,232
He was freezing chocolate
bars, crunching 'em up
150
00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:56,252
with a hammer, and sprinkling
'em on his waffles.
151
00:06:56,303 --> 00:06:58,173
OK, Waffle, you got a good idea there.
152
00:06:58,273 --> 00:07:00,077
I was nuking 'em for a bit there too.
153
00:07:00,177 --> 00:07:01,522
Well, his whole life was a sundae bar.
154
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,119
Melting down Butterfingers
in the microwave at noon.
155
00:07:04,219 --> 00:07:06,723
My whole plate looked like
a fucking easter basket.
156
00:07:06,823 --> 00:07:09,596
- [LAUGHTER]
- But then Morris came.
157
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,299
ALL: Big Mo! Big Mo!
158
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:15,641
Now, Morris was an athlete
with no one to play with.
159
00:07:15,741 --> 00:07:17,712
So, Shoresy was given the task.
160
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,149
It was me and Waffle everywhere.
161
00:07:19,249 --> 00:07:20,885
Me and Waffle on the soccer field.
162
00:07:20,986 --> 00:07:22,956
Hey Waffle, you run like a girl!
163
00:07:23,057 --> 00:07:24,359
Me and Waffle at the ball park.
164
00:07:24,459 --> 00:07:26,196
Hey Waffle, you throw like a girl!
165
00:07:26,296 --> 00:07:28,033
Me and Waffle at the tennis court.
166
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:31,139
- Hey Waffle, I'm gonna fuck...
- BOTH: ...Serena Williams!
167
00:07:31,239 --> 00:07:33,410
- [LAUGHTER]
- Day after day
168
00:07:33,510 --> 00:07:37,652
and game after game, Morris just
pounded him into the ground.
169
00:07:37,752 --> 00:07:39,322
- Uh-huh.
- Did he ever beat you, Dad?
170
00:07:39,422 --> 00:07:41,259
If you can't win,
don't play, baby.
171
00:07:41,359 --> 00:07:44,833
Shoresy and Morris would
compete from sun up to sun down.
172
00:07:44,933 --> 00:07:48,107
With Shoresy losing and losing
and losing again.
173
00:07:48,207 --> 00:07:50,077
Which, of course,
made him feel bad.
174
00:07:50,177 --> 00:07:53,150
He started to really hate it.
But then,
175
00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:55,688
something clicked up there.
176
00:07:56,423 --> 00:07:58,127
He started to do something different.
177
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:02,368
Shoresy started to play not just
with Morris, but without Morris.
178
00:08:02,468 --> 00:08:06,309
And you know what happened?
He started to get better.
179
00:08:06,409 --> 00:08:13,090
And before you knew it, one day,
Shoresy beat Morris.
180
00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:14,793
[SOFT APPLAUSE]
Well, just the one time,
181
00:08:14,893 --> 00:08:17,231
- but he did beat him.
- Give your balls a tug.
182
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,037
He's been chasing that feeling ever since.
183
00:08:20,137 --> 00:08:22,542
And along the way,
with all the work,
184
00:08:23,177 --> 00:08:25,748
the weight came off him.
[APPLAUSE]
185
00:08:26,516 --> 00:08:29,122
- I hate this story.
Don't be fat, and feel better.
186
00:08:29,222 --> 00:08:31,726
Yeah, let's figure out
what makes you feel good.
187
00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:34,967
- Sometimes you need a little bit
of tough love to get yourself sorted.
188
00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:36,903
Never going back again, baby.
189
00:08:37,004 --> 00:08:38,507
Crank it up, buddy,
you're up next.
190
00:08:38,607 --> 00:08:40,711
- [LAUGHING]
- Now, for all Waffle was fat,
191
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:43,383
- Morris was dumb.
- ALL: Big Mo! Big Mo!
192
00:08:43,484 --> 00:08:46,423
Fucking Mo was way dumber
than I was fat.
193
00:08:46,523 --> 00:08:48,995
- You could barely run.
- You could barely read.
194
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,066
So there I am,
straight out of the gate
195
00:08:51,166 --> 00:08:52,678
with a fat one and a dumb one.
[LAUGHTER]
196
00:08:52,702 --> 00:08:54,205
Mo, you honestly wanna say
197
00:08:54,305 --> 00:08:55,976
that I was as fat as you were dumb?
198
00:08:56,076 --> 00:08:57,411
What are you gonna do, Waffle?
199
00:08:57,512 --> 00:08:59,883
Mo, your social worker
said two things to Dad.
200
00:08:59,984 --> 00:09:02,188
He said, "You OK with Blacks?"
Dad says, "Yeah."
201
00:09:02,288 --> 00:09:03,958
He says, "Well, how about a dumb one?"
202
00:09:04,058 --> 00:09:05,127
Shut up, Waffle!
203
00:09:05,227 --> 00:09:07,365
No, that may have been said, Kayla.
204
00:09:07,465 --> 00:09:09,536
- Hand to heart, Kayla.
- And as I'm wondering
205
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:12,241
if this was all a big mistake,
in walks Carrie.
206
00:09:12,341 --> 00:09:16,917
ALL: Care bear count down,
four, three, two, one!
207
00:09:17,018 --> 00:09:18,220
[CHUCKLING]
208
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,858
Now, where Morris helped
Waffle with being fat,
209
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:23,063
Carrie helped Morris with being dumb.
210
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,969
- Morris wasn't that dumb.
He just needed a good tutor.
211
00:09:26,069 --> 00:09:27,905
Hey Mo, what comes after a thousand?
212
00:09:28,507 --> 00:09:31,046
- Two thousand.
- A thousand and one!
213
00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:32,457
- [LAUGHTER]
- Yeah, as a social worker,
214
00:09:32,481 --> 00:09:34,452
I can confidently say
that Mo's social worker
215
00:09:34,552 --> 00:09:36,599
- wouldn't have called him dumb.
- Well, actually, Care,
216
00:09:36,623 --> 00:09:39,162
it was dumb, and then later,
real fucking dumb.
217
00:09:39,262 --> 00:09:40,966
You know, I think that was said.
218
00:09:41,066 --> 00:09:42,869
Well, real fucking dumb has a Tim Hortons
219
00:09:42,970 --> 00:09:45,774
franchise, bitch.
Owner Operator.
220
00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:47,315
No way the social worker said dumb.
221
00:09:47,411 --> 00:09:48,823
You wanna know what your social worker
222
00:09:48,847 --> 00:09:51,253
said to Dad, Carrie?
He said, "You OK with Asians?"
223
00:09:51,353 --> 00:09:53,757
Dad says, "Yeah."
And she says, "Well, how about a gay one?"
224
00:09:53,857 --> 00:09:55,070
- Fuck you, Waffle.
[CROWD GASPS]
225
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,166
- No, Free.
That was definitely said.
226
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,339
- Something you wanna say, Free?
- You don't want it, girl.
227
00:10:01,439 --> 00:10:03,443
- He don't want it.
- Free!
228
00:10:03,544 --> 00:10:06,249
- Let's get into it, Waffle.
'Cause you're gonna hear this.
229
00:10:06,349 --> 00:10:08,720
You're all gonna hear this.
230
00:10:10,357 --> 00:10:13,096
I know you all see our engagement rings.
231
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:15,000
I know you're all talking.
232
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:18,206
Those two girls can't be together,
it ain't right.
233
00:10:19,442 --> 00:10:23,083
Well, guess what?!
Carrie is not my sister.
234
00:10:23,183 --> 00:10:25,220
She's my foster sister,
235
00:10:25,321 --> 00:10:27,167
so it's completely fine
that we're getting married.
236
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,360
Sounds perfectly fine.
237
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:29,829
And she was only my foster sister
238
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,301
- for a year and a half.
- Just keep saying you're sisters,
239
00:10:32,401 --> 00:10:34,615
Free, it's likely one of those
"the more you hear it" things.
240
00:10:34,639 --> 00:10:37,211
- CARRIE & FREE: Dad!
- You both call him Dad, Care!
241
00:10:37,311 --> 00:10:39,091
- I mean, it's like--
- You were called sisters
242
00:10:39,115 --> 00:10:40,284
and brothers on the farm.
243
00:10:40,384 --> 00:10:42,388
Hey, Free, you know
any brothers with sisters
244
00:10:42,488 --> 00:10:44,559
who fire digits up each other?
245
00:10:44,659 --> 00:10:45,962
But you're not blood.
246
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:46,964
Right?
247
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:49,836
So, I think it's perfectly fine
248
00:10:49,936 --> 00:10:51,640
for you to get married, Free.
249
00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:52,808
- [APPLAUSE]
- Thank you!
250
00:10:52,908 --> 00:10:54,279
But, you didn't seriously think
251
00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:56,616
we weren't gonna take
the piss out of ya, did ya?
252
00:10:56,716 --> 00:10:57,785
[LAUGHING]
253
00:10:57,885 --> 00:10:59,022
You're worth it.
254
00:10:59,622 --> 00:11:02,461
Get a room you
fucking sister wife!
255
00:11:04,799 --> 00:11:06,836
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
256
00:11:08,407 --> 00:11:10,210
So there was no foster mom?
257
00:11:10,311 --> 00:11:12,148
- No, just the dad.
- Huh.
258
00:11:12,248 --> 00:11:14,585
Hence the fascination for older women.
259
00:11:17,558 --> 00:11:19,195
You coming to the game tonight?
260
00:11:19,295 --> 00:11:21,299
- Laurence Leboeuf!
- Laurence Leboeuf!
261
00:11:21,399 --> 00:11:23,670
- Laurence Leboeuf!
Bonjour!
262
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,572
Salut!
263
00:11:24,672 --> 00:11:25,441
Remy Nadeau.
264
00:11:25,541 --> 00:11:26,910
Avec mon partenaire Benoit...
265
00:11:27,011 --> 00:11:29,282
- Benny!
- Benoit Benny Brodeur.
266
00:11:29,382 --> 00:11:32,088
- Et moi, Remy Nadeau.
- Laurence Leboeuf!
267
00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:33,790
Laurence Leboeuf!
268
00:11:37,098 --> 00:11:38,233
Yup.
269
00:11:39,702 --> 00:11:41,106
BOTH: Ah.
270
00:11:41,206 --> 00:11:43,644
Remy Nadeau avec mon partenaire Benoit...
271
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:44,746
Benny Coach!
272
00:11:44,846 --> 00:11:48,353
- Benoit Benny Brodeur.
We go everywhere JJ go.
273
00:11:48,453 --> 00:11:51,559
- I do the plays-by-play.
- And I do the colours!
274
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:53,697
Benoit Benny Brodeur do the colours.
275
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,369
I, Remy Nadeau,
do the plays-by-play.
276
00:11:56,469 --> 00:11:59,642
- Laurence Leboeuf.
- Laurence Leboeuf.
277
00:12:04,252 --> 00:12:06,222
- Lysandre Nadeau?
[MUMBLING]
278
00:12:15,607 --> 00:12:17,812
- Lysandre Nadeau.
Remy Nadeau.
279
00:12:17,912 --> 00:12:20,284
All the Quebecois starlets,
they love the JJ.
280
00:12:20,384 --> 00:12:22,288
All of Quebec love him, coach.
281
00:12:27,999 --> 00:12:30,604
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
282
00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:21,706
- Oui, allo, Lysandre Nadeau.
- Coucou.
283
00:13:59,015 --> 00:14:01,753
Oh my God, no way,
Laura Mohr is the hottest girl
284
00:14:01,853 --> 00:14:05,160
in Sudbury, you fucking idiot.
Oh my God.
285
00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:09,035
Oh, hey, Laura. Did you just
hear that piece of shit? So dumb.
286
00:14:09,135 --> 00:14:11,773
Judging by the parking lot,
a handful of people care now.
287
00:14:11,873 --> 00:14:13,143
Sudbury Saturday night.
288
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:14,645
Cheapest drinks in the city too.
289
00:14:14,745 --> 00:14:17,384
When are you gonna let me take
you out for some good Caribbean?
290
00:14:17,485 --> 00:14:19,722
- I don't date sluts.
- My God are you good-looking.
291
00:14:19,822 --> 00:14:23,196
I know I may come off as a real
devil-may-care kind of guy,
292
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,656
but we both know you'd run my show.
293
00:14:24,699 --> 00:14:26,769
- Yeah? How so?
- I'd take a header off
294
00:14:26,870 --> 00:14:29,041
the Bridge of Nations
just to brush arms with ya.
295
00:14:29,142 --> 00:14:31,146
- Oh?
- I'd full gainer down the crack
296
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,915
in Kilarney just to hold your purse.
297
00:14:33,016 --> 00:14:34,685
- Mm.
- I'd sit my bare ass
298
00:14:34,785 --> 00:14:37,858
on the big nickel just to have
you flick some debris off my shirt,
299
00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:39,963
I swear to God,
I'd be so good to ya.
300
00:14:40,063 --> 00:14:42,663
- Does North Bay's captain still
have the biggest C in the league?
301
00:14:42,735 --> 00:14:44,805
It's the biggest fucking C in the world.
302
00:14:44,906 --> 00:14:46,576
- [CHUCKLES]
- See ya.
303
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,415
Hey, when was the last time
304
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:51,319
you had some good assorted tempura.
305
00:14:51,419 --> 00:14:53,290
Fuck you, Shoresy!
306
00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:54,926
For what?!
307
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:56,462
- You guys win one--
- Huh?
308
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,476
You guys win one game
and you think you can just
309
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:00,404
cruise in five minutes before warm-up?
310
00:15:00,504 --> 00:15:01,806
- Yeah--
- Huh?
311
00:15:01,906 --> 00:15:03,476
It's senior whale shit hockey, Ziig,
312
00:15:03,577 --> 00:15:05,480
it's not the fucking Knight's Watch.
313
00:15:05,581 --> 00:15:07,484
- Senior AAA.
- Whale shit all the same.
314
00:15:07,585 --> 00:15:10,357
You're in half an hour before
warm-up now, minimum.
315
00:15:10,457 --> 00:15:12,261
- For what?!
- Ride the bike--
316
00:15:12,361 --> 00:15:13,563
Huh?
317
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,534
- Ride the bike!
- Nat, if I want a good laugh,
318
00:15:15,634 --> 00:15:18,006
- I'll watch Mr. Bean.
- I'm serious.
319
00:15:18,106 --> 00:15:19,709
What bike?!
320
00:15:19,809 --> 00:15:21,479
Take your pick.
321
00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:25,654
Sponsors at the Blueberry Festival
322
00:15:25,754 --> 00:15:27,157
were so fired up about your win
323
00:15:27,258 --> 00:15:29,495
they decided to invest in another.
324
00:15:33,370 --> 00:15:35,874
- No one's gonna use this.
- I know.
325
00:15:35,975 --> 00:15:37,912
- Not one player will use this.
[SIGHS]
326
00:15:38,013 --> 00:15:40,026
- Good work, Blueberry Fest.
- Like, the bikes, maybe.
327
00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:41,085
People love biking.
328
00:15:41,185 --> 00:15:42,330
Three bikes is excessive though.
329
00:15:42,354 --> 00:15:43,566
They think we've got three fucking
330
00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:45,394
Rod Brind'amours or what?
[SIGHS]
331
00:15:45,494 --> 00:15:46,729
- They were so fired--
- Huh?
332
00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:48,409
They were so fired up when they wheeled
333
00:15:48,433 --> 00:15:50,246
- all this shit in.
- Are you trying not to laugh?
334
00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:53,043
- I had to pretend to be fired up
too because they were so fired up.
335
00:15:53,143 --> 00:15:55,089
Does it come with some fucking
Gary Roberts tapes or what?
336
00:15:55,113 --> 00:15:57,484
I don't think they understand
Senior "Whale Shit" Hockey.
337
00:15:57,585 --> 00:15:58,753
Senior AAA.
338
00:15:58,853 --> 00:16:00,333
SHORESY & NAT: Whale shit all the same.
339
00:16:00,357 --> 00:16:02,161
- Like, watch this.
Hey, Jims.
340
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:03,830
- They work out, Jim?
- Yeah.
341
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,069
When was the last time you worked out, Jim?
342
00:16:06,169 --> 00:16:07,371
- 2012.
- Jim?
343
00:16:07,471 --> 00:16:08,707
- Grade ten.
- Jim?
344
00:16:08,807 --> 00:16:10,444
I'd have to think about that, Shoresy.
345
00:16:10,544 --> 00:16:11,913
I can't quite recall right now.
346
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:14,218
The truth is, I never really
enjoyed doing cardio.
347
00:16:14,318 --> 00:16:15,687
Thanks, Jims.
348
00:16:15,787 --> 00:16:17,491
I wanted to tell them most of these guys
349
00:16:17,591 --> 00:16:19,338
have families and jobs,
they don't play Senior hockey
350
00:16:19,362 --> 00:16:20,731
to come to the rink and work out.
351
00:16:20,831 --> 00:16:23,403
- I bet the Soo work out.
- The Soo are so fucking good.
352
00:16:23,503 --> 00:16:25,143
Seriously though,
don't cut it so close.
353
00:16:25,173 --> 00:16:27,411
Get a good warm up in
or you're gonna get hurt.
354
00:16:27,511 --> 00:16:28,847
- Tell the sluts.
- You tell 'em.
355
00:16:28,948 --> 00:16:30,751
- They're not here.
- Are they not here yet?
356
00:16:30,851 --> 00:16:32,655
- Shoresy, do you see--
- Huh?
357
00:16:33,056 --> 00:16:34,525
Come with me.
358
00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:38,199
North Bay Norseman, baby.
Gonna win?
359
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:39,802
Well, if you can't win, don't play.
360
00:16:39,902 --> 00:16:42,308
- 'Cause if we lose.
- We'll never lose again, Ziig.
361
00:16:42,408 --> 00:16:43,743
I hate playing these guys.
362
00:16:43,843 --> 00:16:45,614
Well, I fucking love playing these guys.
363
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,494
Because they don't beat us
as bad as the Soo?
364
00:16:47,518 --> 00:16:49,264
No, 'cause of the C on their
captain's sweater.
365
00:16:49,288 --> 00:16:50,700
- Keller?
- It's the biggest C you've
366
00:16:50,724 --> 00:16:52,704
ever seen in your life.
Ziig, I can see you're real
367
00:16:52,728 --> 00:16:53,863
slammed here and everything,
368
00:16:53,965 --> 00:16:55,734
but is someone gonna call the boys or no?
369
00:16:55,834 --> 00:16:57,504
- I got us a new tendy.
- From who?
370
00:16:57,604 --> 00:16:58,640
- No--
- Huh?
371
00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:00,177
No one, he doesn't play anymore.
372
00:17:00,277 --> 00:17:02,381
Well, sounds way fucking
dumber when you say it.
373
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:04,018
- A little heads up--
- Oh my God,
374
00:17:04,118 --> 00:17:05,158
is it this guy right here?
375
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:06,967
Did you get him from
fucking Cirque du Soleil?
376
00:17:06,991 --> 00:17:09,261
Cirque de Soleil,
and no answer from Dolo.
377
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,831
It's actually Cirque du Soleil,
378
00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:12,568
and no answer from Sanguinet either.
379
00:17:12,668 --> 00:17:14,705
- You know him.
- No, I don't know either
380
00:17:14,805 --> 00:17:16,619
- of the Ringling Brothers.
- And you're gonna be--
381
00:17:16,643 --> 00:17:19,148
Hey, bud, are you a fucking
panhandler or something?
382
00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:20,884
Actually, you got a dip?
383
00:17:22,087 --> 00:17:23,289
Mark Michaels?
384
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:24,692
Already, Nat?
385
00:17:24,792 --> 00:17:26,729
Our new tendy is fucking Mark Michaels?
386
00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:28,199
- You're go--
- Huh?!
387
00:17:28,299 --> 00:17:30,737
- You're gonna be nice to him.
- It starts already, Nat.
388
00:17:30,837 --> 00:17:33,743
We lose 20 on the campaign,
you gas him, then we win one,
389
00:17:33,843 --> 00:17:35,347
and so, you bring him back?
Huh?
390
00:17:35,447 --> 00:17:36,649
- See, I knew that--
- Shut up!
391
00:17:36,749 --> 00:17:38,069
I knew this was a bad idea, Nat.
392
00:17:38,153 --> 00:17:40,190
- You shut up too.
- Well, I knew it, Nat.
393
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:41,526
She said shut up, slut.
394
00:17:41,626 --> 00:17:43,430
Why are you saying her name so much?
395
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:44,690
- Do you see, Nat?
- Michaels!
396
00:17:44,732 --> 00:17:46,169
He said your name like, 20 times.
397
00:17:46,269 --> 00:17:47,404
- Shut up.
- So annoying.
398
00:17:47,504 --> 00:17:48,549
- Nat!
[TOGETHER] Oh my God!
399
00:17:48,573 --> 00:17:49,818
- Just shut up.
And you, shut up.
400
00:17:49,842 --> 00:17:51,713
- No answer from Hitch.
- No answer from Goody.
401
00:17:51,813 --> 00:17:54,085
- Both of you, listen.
You're gonna apologize to him.
402
00:17:54,185 --> 00:17:55,454
- For what?!
- For what?
403
00:17:55,554 --> 00:17:56,957
And you're gonna apologize to him.
404
00:17:57,057 --> 00:17:58,736
And then, you're not gonna
talk to him anymore.
405
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,306
I don't wanna talk to him fucking ever.
406
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,010
Good, 'cause I don't wanna
talk to him either.
407
00:18:02,034 --> 00:18:03,713
- Oh, give your balls a tug.
- NAT: Shoresy!
408
00:18:03,737 --> 00:18:05,017
He should be apologizing to me.
409
00:18:05,107 --> 00:18:07,478
- What the... Excuse me!
- [MOCKING] Excuse me!
410
00:18:07,578 --> 00:18:08,646
For what?
411
00:18:08,747 --> 00:18:10,027
For being such a fucking loser.
412
00:18:10,117 --> 00:18:10,751
Know what?
That's it.
413
00:18:10,851 --> 00:18:12,388
Fucking tit fucker.
414
00:18:12,488 --> 00:18:13,808
- I'm out.
- Yeah, take your balls
415
00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:15,536
- with you, pheasant.
- Shoresy, apologize or we fold!
416
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,131
You can't just hold that over my head
417
00:18:17,231 --> 00:18:18,431
every time you need something.
418
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:19,911
- Yes, I can.
- ZIIG & MIIG: Yes, she can.
419
00:18:19,935 --> 00:18:21,255
Yes, she can, but she shouldn't.
420
00:18:21,339 --> 00:18:23,309
We need him.
Tendy quit.
421
00:18:23,410 --> 00:18:24,578
Tendy finally wins a game
422
00:18:24,678 --> 00:18:26,749
- and he fucking quits?
- Oh, I wonder why!
423
00:18:26,849 --> 00:18:28,763
Well, at least there's
a bigger loser than Michaels.
424
00:18:28,787 --> 00:18:30,266
He's not supposed to be talking to me, Nat!
425
00:18:30,290 --> 00:18:32,261
I wasn't talking to him,
I was talking to you.
426
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,565
Shoresy, he wants to win.
427
00:18:34,665 --> 00:18:37,171
- But he doesn't hate to lose.
- Apologize!
428
00:18:38,306 --> 00:18:39,909
- Well, I'm sorry.
- For what?
429
00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:42,581
- I don't know.
- For the party island squeezer in Wasaga.
430
00:18:42,681 --> 00:18:44,061
I didn't get the squeezer from her!
431
00:18:44,085 --> 00:18:45,485
Sanguinet got the squeezer from her.
432
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:46,789
Her brothers are super weird.
433
00:18:46,889 --> 00:18:49,161
But you were taking
a fucking dump in the water!
434
00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:50,998
Everybody was taking a dump in the water!
435
00:18:51,099 --> 00:18:55,240
- It's fucking Wasaga!
- Apologize or we fold.
436
00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:59,950
- Sorry, bud.
- To him!
437
00:19:03,156 --> 00:19:05,794
- Sorry, bud.
- Thank you. Apology accep--
438
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:07,931
Is there seriously nothing
back from the boys?
439
00:19:08,032 --> 00:19:09,802
- ZIIG & MIIG: No!
- Get your shit on.
440
00:19:09,902 --> 00:19:12,341
- You ready?
- Of course.
441
00:19:12,441 --> 00:19:13,643
Why do you think they call me
442
00:19:13,743 --> 00:19:14,989
"Never misses the Mark Michaels"?
443
00:19:15,013 --> 00:19:17,050
That's so fucking embarrassing, Nat.
444
00:19:17,151 --> 00:19:19,421
That's fucking humiliating.
How do you not chirp that?
445
00:19:19,522 --> 00:19:21,359
Look, we just made the rules right now,
446
00:19:21,459 --> 00:19:22,704
and look, he's talking to me, Nat!
447
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,098
I'm talking to her!
448
00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:26,869
Fucking tit fucker.
449
00:19:42,034 --> 00:19:44,705
Hey, everything's bigger
in North Bay, eh Keller?
450
00:19:44,805 --> 00:19:47,010
You fucking loser.
Hey, Keller, when they put
451
00:19:47,110 --> 00:19:48,948
that big fuck off C on your sweater,
452
00:19:49,048 --> 00:19:50,952
did they think you'd grow into it or what?
453
00:19:52,187 --> 00:19:54,792
Like, were they pissed
when you didn't, or what?
454
00:19:54,892 --> 00:19:56,762
Hey, Keller, you got any leadership tips?
455
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,068
Just looking for some tips
on being a leader.
456
00:19:59,168 --> 00:20:01,172
Jesus Christ, Keller,
if they tried to put
457
00:20:01,272 --> 00:20:04,211
that big fuck off C on my sweater,
I'd say, "No thanks."
458
00:20:04,311 --> 00:20:06,048
- Hey, Jim.
- Yeah.
459
00:20:06,149 --> 00:20:07,584
- Jim?
- Yes.
460
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,121
- Jim?
- Yeah, it's nice
461
00:20:09,221 --> 00:20:11,301
you're thinking of me, but
I don't think it's a good idea.
462
00:20:11,325 --> 00:20:14,231
Making it bigger doesn't
make it better, Keller.
463
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,204
It's not tits.
464
00:20:17,304 --> 00:20:18,806
- Miig?
- Nothing.
465
00:20:18,907 --> 00:20:20,343
- Ziig?
- Still nothing.
466
00:20:20,443 --> 00:20:21,646
- You worried?
- Wee bit.
467
00:20:21,746 --> 00:20:23,016
- Me too.
- Bigger fish to fry,
468
00:20:23,116 --> 00:20:25,487
for a second.
You said a quarter full?
469
00:20:25,587 --> 00:20:26,990
That is a thing I said.
470
00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:28,092
- You worried?
- Wee bit.
471
00:20:28,193 --> 00:20:31,065
- Me too.
- Only one way to find out.
472
00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:34,205
Bums in seats, baby, let's go.
473
00:20:39,148 --> 00:20:40,417
Bums in seats.
474
00:20:40,517 --> 00:20:42,654
Call it more like one-eighth full.
475
00:20:42,754 --> 00:20:44,892
Nat, what the fuck?
476
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:48,399
Fuck you, what the fuck, Shoresy,
where are the sluts?
477
00:20:48,499 --> 00:20:50,136
- Are they not here?
- No--
478
00:20:50,237 --> 00:20:52,341
- Huh? Not even Sanger? Huh?
- NAT & MIIG: No!
479
00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:57,384
Do we have a chance without them?
480
00:20:59,288 --> 00:21:01,192
You fucking plug.
481
00:21:01,292 --> 00:21:03,096
So, what do we do?
482
00:21:06,736 --> 00:21:08,941
If you can't win, don't play.
483
00:21:11,212 --> 00:21:12,212
What?!
484
00:21:12,281 --> 00:21:13,616
[BUZZER]
485
00:21:13,716 --> 00:21:16,422
[SPEAKING FRENCH]
486
00:21:30,650 --> 00:21:32,854
- Laurence Leboeuf.
- Laurence Leboeuf!
487
00:21:59,241 --> 00:22:01,712
So, what they do, try to wait
488
00:22:01,812 --> 00:22:03,516
till the other guy leave the ice,
489
00:22:03,616 --> 00:22:06,155
but Shoresy, Keller,
not giving it up.
490
00:22:06,255 --> 00:22:07,992
It's a Stevie Wonder superstition.
491
00:22:08,092 --> 00:22:10,330
[INDISTINCT COMMENTARY IN FRENCH]
492
00:22:20,550 --> 00:22:21,886
No, don't do that.
493
00:22:21,987 --> 00:22:24,825
[INDISTINCT COMMENTARY IN FRENCH]
494
00:22:26,429 --> 00:22:28,433
[CHEERING]
495
00:22:59,495 --> 00:23:01,465
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
41747
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