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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:54,416 --> 00:01:56,083 你們就是師奶殺手? 2 00:01:56,875 --> 00:01:59,708 我只是騙騙師奶,關你屁事啊? 3 00:01:59,958 --> 00:02:01,208 麻將大俠 4 00:02:01,291 --> 00:02:04,541 陳太太、黃太太、馬太太、歐太太 都是我的朋友 5 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,250 朋友的事 6 00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:07,875 就是我的事 7 00:02:40,083 --> 00:02:41,500 -西 -碰 8 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,166 -發財 -碰 9 00:02:54,458 --> 00:02:55,291 吃 10 00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,375 自摸、字一色、大三風、小三元 11 00:03:00,458 --> 00:03:02,583 三暗槓,對對碰 12 00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:04,958 這麼厲害? 13 00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:23,083 小相公 14 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:27,500 少一張,你們兩個不用打了 15 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,291 小子,還有我呢! 16 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:31,416 你也是小相公 17 00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:33,208 我怎麼會是小相公? 18 00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,125 我剛剛忘了補花 19 00:03:37,541 --> 00:03:39,416 大俠,可以打個折扣嗎? 20 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,458 打折可以啊,以後不要再騙師奶了 21 00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:43,416 那豈不是斷我的財路? 22 00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:46,375 你別欺人太甚啊,我跟你拼了! 23 00:03:48,625 --> 00:03:50,208 胖叔,早知道剛才就答應他了 24 00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:52,416 現在也不會輸的這麼慘啊 25 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,750 也不知道他是什麼來歷 26 00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:56,041 最後一把牌居然吃胡了 27 00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:57,916 還要是嚦咕嚦咕八張花 28 00:03:59,666 --> 00:04:00,916 朋友,謝謝了 29 00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:39,666 這裡不准停車,麻煩駕照和身份證 30 00:04:43,833 --> 00:04:44,875 無家可歸嗎? 31 00:04:45,416 --> 00:04:46,666 怎麼睡在街上? 32 00:04:48,708 --> 00:04:49,875 你是做什麼的? 33 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,166 -我問你做什麼的 -我打麻將的 34 00:04:56,333 --> 00:04:58,875 打麻將就是無業遊民了 35 00:04:58,958 --> 00:05:00,083 人渣敗類 36 00:05:01,375 --> 00:05:02,333 這麼大的袋子裝什麼? 37 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,333 錢 38 00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:05,625 這麼大袋的錢,你去打劫銀行來嗎? 39 00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:08,458 打劫銀行哪有打麻將賺得多? 40 00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:12,916 -喂? -大俠救命啊,三缺一啊! 41 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,833 好,給我半小時,馬上到! 42 00:05:14,916 --> 00:05:16,083 你可不可以快點? 43 00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:18,041 周太太,赤柱很遠啊 44 00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:21,125 不用麻煩了,蘇太太說15分鐘內就到 45 00:05:22,125 --> 00:05:23,916 我14分鐘內到,等我! 46 00:05:24,916 --> 00:05:26,875 14分鐘到赤柱,你要飆車嗎? 47 00:05:26,958 --> 00:05:28,416 當然不是,讓開 48 00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:33,958 打500塊,廁所在哪裡啊? 49 00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:35,833 -裡面 -謝謝,快! 50 00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:45,166 臭賭鬼 51 00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:51,541 外賣要雙蛋三明治和奶茶少糖,快! 52 00:05:51,625 --> 00:05:52,541 收到! 53 00:05:53,458 --> 00:05:54,375 快 54 00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:57,500 -碰 -上 55 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:58,666 碰 56 00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:00,000 -上 -碰 57 00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:01,375 碰 58 00:06:01,916 --> 00:06:02,750 吃 59 00:06:11,708 --> 00:06:13,375 快! 60 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,666 -是誰叫的外賣? -是我的,謝了 61 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,375 喂,那不是你的! 62 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:23,875 謝了 63 00:06:40,625 --> 00:06:41,791 違規停車! 64 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,375 黃太太,妳怎麼了? 65 00:06:58,583 --> 00:07:00,916 一早起床就這個樣子,昨晚睡落枕了 66 00:07:01,166 --> 00:07:02,541 把舌頭伸出來 67 00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:04,750 翻翻眼睛 68 00:07:06,666 --> 00:07:07,875 這沒什麼 69 00:07:07,958 --> 00:07:09,583 眼睛不黃,舌根也正常 70 00:07:09,666 --> 00:07:11,166 扭傷而已,很容易治的 71 00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:12,500 怎麼治? 72 00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:14,166 -東 -碰 73 00:07:14,416 --> 00:07:15,708 -南 -碰 74 00:07:15,791 --> 00:07:17,041 -西 -碰 75 00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:18,291 -北 -碰 76 00:07:18,833 --> 00:07:19,750 一條 77 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:22,416 可以了! 78 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,916 單吊一條大四喜 79 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,541 -雞糊 -這下怎麼算啊? 80 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,333 有沒有搞錯?你真是賤! 81 00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:31,375 你到底是什麼人來的? 82 00:07:31,458 --> 00:07:33,333 你竟然敢截我的牌? 83 00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:35,000 你真是太過分了! 84 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:37,625 我脖子可以動了 85 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:38,791 我正常了! 86 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:39,750 我沒事了 87 00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:42,333 -我都說了,這很容易治的 -我感冒、發燒和流鼻涕能不能治? 88 00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:44,291 -可以,就打到你出汗而已 -屁啊 89 00:07:44,416 --> 00:07:45,625 我眼睛又乾又澀 90 00:07:45,708 --> 00:07:47,500 淚水分泌不夠,把你打哭就行了 91 00:07:47,583 --> 00:07:48,708 我可不容易哭的呢 92 00:07:48,791 --> 00:07:51,041 我老公去世的時候,我都沒哭 93 00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:52,458 好,沒問題 94 00:08:28,416 --> 00:08:29,791 妳確實不容易哭 95 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,666 我贏了妳七八次,妳才哭 96 00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,458 普通人輸兩次就想死了 97 00:08:33,541 --> 00:08:35,666 妳們兩個怎麼樣? 有沒有發燒還是不舒服啊? 98 00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:36,625 我們倆沒事 99 00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:39,041 -不過你的醫藥費真的不便宜 -健康無價嘛 100 00:08:39,125 --> 00:08:40,500 時間差不多了,妳可以走了 101 00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:41,791 到時間去照顧妳的孫子了,聽話 102 00:08:41,875 --> 00:08:43,166 -妳們帶她去帶孫子吧 -我們先走了 103 00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:44,708 小胖在校門口等著妳呢 104 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,375 -我來收拾吧 -不行啊,不然我老公回來會罵我 105 00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:50,458 我幫妳收拾,走吧… 106 00:08:51,208 --> 00:08:52,375 快點,萬一小胖在校門口 107 00:08:52,458 --> 00:08:53,916 -被車撞到怎麼辦? -你記得要收拾乾淨啊 108 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,750 記得要幫我關門 109 00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:57,416 我還會幫妳把地掃好呢 110 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,208 妳幹什麼?不要碰我的車! 111 00:09:04,416 --> 00:09:05,958 我以前都是這樣幫你洗車的啊 112 00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:08,291 我們已經分手了很久了 113 00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:11,958 那是你一廂情願,我哪裡不好了? 114 00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:13,375 牌品不好 115 00:09:13,583 --> 00:09:14,791 那我不打麻將了 116 00:09:14,875 --> 00:09:16,666 牌品不好就是人品不好 117 00:09:16,958 --> 00:09:18,333 我人品哪裡不好? 118 00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,833 為什麼好好的空姐不當,去當警察? 119 00:09:20,958 --> 00:09:21,791 為了開你罰單 120 00:09:22,041 --> 00:09:23,541 就是說嘛! 121 00:09:23,708 --> 00:09:25,375 妳說妳是不是有病? 122 00:09:25,625 --> 00:09:26,750 我已經改了 123 00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,708 給我一次機會,再讓我打一次 124 00:09:28,791 --> 00:09:31,458 上次妳也發誓說妳的牌品好了 125 00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:33,708 結果還不是發脾氣亂打人,妳走吧 126 00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:35,125 我不會的了,我發誓! 127 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,666 妳走吧,拜託妳快走吧 128 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,500 趕快把車子還給人家,妳也別幹了 129 00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:40,666 妳開車的技術很好嗎? 130 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,541 到時候把腿撞斷怎麼辦? 以後妳一個人要怎麼過呢? 131 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,208 喂?是 132 00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:47,166 打麻將?好啊 133 00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:48,541 三缺一? 134 00:09:48,791 --> 00:09:50,458 可以,我待會再回复你 135 00:09:51,541 --> 00:09:52,916 -喂 -是! 136 00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:57,125 妳不會發脾氣是吧? 137 00:09:59,125 --> 00:10:00,750 我再給妳一次機會 138 00:10:01,041 --> 00:10:03,291 -來! -那摩托車怎麼辦? 139 00:10:03,375 --> 00:10:05,375 妳都不做了,還管什麼摩托車啊? 140 00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:23,875 喂,快點啊 141 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,083 小妹 142 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:27,875 -對不起 -靠! 143 00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:29,458 妳別那麼緊張 144 00:10:29,916 --> 00:10:30,791 靠 145 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,541 -我們玩很小而已 -把帽子脫下來吧 146 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:37,375 我不是緊張,其實… 147 00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:40,500 因為他說,如果我不發脾氣 148 00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:42,375 -他就會娶我 -到妳了 149 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:44,666 我哪有說要娶妳?只是同意復合而已 150 00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:46,625 復合不就是娶我嗎? 151 00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:49,416 我不可以跟你同居 152 00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:50,500 你想想 153 00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:52,750 萬一三嬸,姨媽她們問起來 我怎麼解釋啊? 154 00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:53,833 好了… 155 00:10:53,916 --> 00:10:56,041 還有三叔、六嬸他們,你也知道… 156 00:10:56,125 --> 00:10:57,291 好了! 157 00:10:57,458 --> 00:11:00,041 總之妳不發脾氣又能贏錢,我就娶妳 158 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:01,833 九筒 159 00:11:01,916 --> 00:11:04,208 怎麼多了這個條件的呢? 以前不是這樣的啊 160 00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:05,958 當我的老婆,麻將技術還那麼差 161 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,666 到時候把奶粉錢輸光了怎麼辦啊? 162 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,083 打麻將吧 163 00:11:09,458 --> 00:11:12,625 又不准人家發脾氣,又要贏錢 164 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,041 怎麼兼顧啊?這很難的嘛 165 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:18,333 小妹妹,妳贏錢的時候 自然就不會發脾氣了啊 166 00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:22,333 對啊,我贏錢的時候 還真的沒有發過脾氣呢 167 00:11:22,666 --> 00:11:23,666 五條 168 00:11:25,708 --> 00:11:28,583 不過跟他打了這麼久,我從來沒贏過 169 00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:31,583 -他一定盯死我了 -五條 170 00:11:32,541 --> 00:11:34,416 你不要這樣嘛! 171 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,375 三筒 172 00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:44,666 害我吃不到,也碰不了 173 00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:46,708 三筒 174 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:48,916 你又這樣! 175 00:11:50,791 --> 00:11:53,583 就你這樣,我的牌面再好也都沒用啦 176 00:11:53,666 --> 00:11:55,375 妳要萬子是吧? 177 00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:57,791 -五萬 -碰 178 00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,333 妳故意松牌給她啊? 179 00:11:59,416 --> 00:12:02,000 怎樣?女人當然要幫女人啊 180 00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:03,833 我也同意,三萬 181 00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:05,416 碰 182 00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:09,791 好了,現在還要什麼牌? 183 00:12:09,916 --> 00:12:11,708 二萬?四萬? 184 00:12:12,041 --> 00:12:13,416 -七萬? -碰 185 00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:16,000 九章 186 00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:20,083 妳看看她是清一色還是混一色? 187 00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:21,833 我看一下,是混一色 188 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:22,916 混一色嗎? 189 00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,416 這張好陌生啊,發財 190 00:12:25,666 --> 00:12:27,375 -我和牌了 -和牌了? 191 00:12:27,458 --> 00:12:28,375 小妞 192 00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,166 這就當作是我的禮金了 193 00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:33,291 謝謝 194 00:12:33,416 --> 00:12:35,125 到時候早點到 195 00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:37,166 這樣也行? 196 00:12:41,791 --> 00:12:42,958 是小相公 197 00:12:43,083 --> 00:12:44,500 是報應… 198 00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:45,875 什麼?讓我看看吧 199 00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:47,416 妳哪有小相公啊?這張是妳的 200 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,625 我才是小相公 201 00:12:48,875 --> 00:12:50,125 對… 202 00:12:50,375 --> 00:12:52,166 -和牌,自摸八番 -好啊 203 00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:53,916 -看什麼看?給錢吧 -給錢 204 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,041 -嫁得出了 -快點給錢吧 205 00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:57,208 你們打算每一把都這樣玩是嗎? 206 00:12:57,291 --> 00:12:59,208 大同小異吧,但我們也看情況而定的 207 00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,500 我們也想搞點新花樣啊 208 00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:07,625 天糊 209 00:13:09,041 --> 00:13:09,875 喂! 210 00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:11,875 你都還沒看牌就知道,你做牌了嗎? 211 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,000 我當然做牌了 212 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,583 你們再這樣玩,我每次都做牌! 每次都天糊! 213 00:13:15,666 --> 00:13:17,333 我跟妳說,就算要我變牌也沒問題! 214 00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:19,458 你寧願出老千也不願意娶我 215 00:13:19,541 --> 00:13:21,333 -你真的這麼討厭我嗎? -不是 216 00:13:21,416 --> 00:13:25,750 是妳這樣打麻將就是不對! 簡直是強取豪奪,強盜的所為! 217 00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:27,833 根本就不關我的事! 218 00:13:27,916 --> 00:13:29,833 都是這兩個臭三八在添亂啊 219 00:13:29,916 --> 00:13:31,625 妳看,我說得沒錯吧? 220 00:13:31,708 --> 00:13:33,250 牌品不好就是人品不好 221 00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:35,625 人家好心幫妳,妳卻為了小事就發火 222 00:13:35,708 --> 00:13:37,666 翻臉不認人,還罵人家是臭三八 223 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:38,958 三八已經很貼切了 224 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:41,083 再加個臭字就落伍了! 225 00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:43,750 妳看看現在有哪個年青人 還有誰會說“臭”這個字? 226 00:13:43,833 --> 00:13:46,291 還臭三八,妳說啊! 227 00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:48,791 -你們兩個去死!走! -賤人! 228 00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:16,583 多贏點 229 00:14:24,625 --> 00:14:27,250 醫生,可不可以不打麻將? 230 00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:29,208 打麻將會好的快一點 231 00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:31,250 我很討厭打麻將啊 232 00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:33,625 現在是你媽有老年癡呆,要打麻將 233 00:14:33,708 --> 00:14:35,416 你沒有老年癡呆,你不用打 234 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,958 不是啊,醫生,可不可以玩撲克牌? 235 00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:40,291 通常我會建議外國人打撲克牌 236 00:14:40,416 --> 00:14:42,250 建議中國人打麻將 237 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,750 中國人打麻將比打撲克牌好 238 00:14:43,875 --> 00:14:45,833 那可以下跳棋嗎? 239 00:14:45,958 --> 00:14:48,708 我會建議小孩子下跳棋 240 00:14:48,791 --> 00:14:50,458 不過小孩子沒有老年癡呆 241 00:14:50,708 --> 00:14:52,375 如果你喜歡的話,可以去試一下 242 00:14:55,041 --> 00:14:55,875 吃 243 00:14:59,708 --> 00:15:01,125 吃… 244 00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:03,458 吃 245 00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:06,750 媽,那不能吃的! 妳別吞下去,快吐出來! 246 00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:15,041 阿菲 247 00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:16,291 是 248 00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:18,291 請妳的幾個朋友回來陪老媽打麻將 249 00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:20,875 七萬 250 00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:22,666 -我吃 -名字? 251 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,250 如果贏了,我請妳們吃肉丸 252 00:15:27,916 --> 00:15:29,416 -碰 -等她贏… 253 00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:32,875 那很好啊 254 00:15:35,375 --> 00:15:39,000 -和牌,謝謝 -所以我沒東西吃了? 255 00:15:39,083 --> 00:15:40,750 太太,倒茶! 256 00:15:40,916 --> 00:15:41,833 是的,阿菲 257 00:15:42,916 --> 00:15:43,833 他是誰啊? 258 00:15:43,958 --> 00:15:45,333 妳叫他敗家子 259 00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:47,000 老闆說他是壞哥哥 260 00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:48,125 敗家子? 261 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,458 別問了,就當沒生過吧 262 00:15:50,541 --> 00:15:52,541 我肚子餓了,叫東西吃吧 263 00:15:52,833 --> 00:15:53,958 那電話號碼呢? 264 00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:55,916 自己看電話簿吧 265 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:02,500 (敗家子) 266 00:16:02,916 --> 00:16:04,375 “敗家子”? 267 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:06,875 喂? 268 00:16:06,958 --> 00:16:08,458 敗家子,我要叫外賣 269 00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:10,625 一個滑蛋牛肉炒飯 270 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:12,125 媽? 271 00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:13,500 媽,妳在哪裡? 272 00:16:13,583 --> 00:16:17,000 先不要問我地址,我還要訂吃的呢 273 00:16:17,083 --> 00:16:18,666 一個滑蛋牛肉炒飯 274 00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:20,750 一個蒸蛋牛肉飯,加飯 275 00:16:20,916 --> 00:16:21,875 媽,是我啊 276 00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:23,291 妳怎麼了? 277 00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:24,333 不要打岔嘛 278 00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:27,166 我還要叫一個蒸蛋牛肉飯,不加飯 279 00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:28,500 就這樣 280 00:16:28,708 --> 00:16:29,916 我找了妳很久 281 00:16:30,083 --> 00:16:31,500 妳和弟弟搬到哪裡去了? 282 00:16:31,833 --> 00:16:33,291 我的地址是… 283 00:16:33,666 --> 00:16:34,666 我忘了 284 00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:36,250 弟弟呢?妳身邊沒有人嗎? 285 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:37,458 阿菲 286 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,250 別吵,又害我輸了! 287 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,833 阿菲輸了錢,好兇喔 288 00:16:42,916 --> 00:16:45,500 妳可以去隔壁問一下地址 289 00:16:45,666 --> 00:16:47,250 太太 290 00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,125 太太 291 00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:50,958 沒人在啊 292 00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:54,416 妳有沒有看到其他人? 隨便找個人問一下地址好了 293 00:16:56,375 --> 00:16:58,916 隨便找個人問一下地址? 294 00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:04,750 喂?這裡都沒人啊 295 00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:09,375 喂?妳聽得到我說話嗎? 296 00:17:10,958 --> 00:17:12,791 喂?妳還在不在? 297 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,583 先生 298 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:17,333 能不能幫我告訴他我住什麼地方? 299 00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:20,750 不然他們不知道要把外賣送到哪了 300 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,750 媽,妳沒事吧? 301 00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:27,041 不是跟我說 302 00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:29,291 是請你跟他說 303 00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:31,375 麻煩你了 304 00:17:36,166 --> 00:17:37,458 媽,對不起 305 00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,291 我真的是個敗家子 306 00:17:45,708 --> 00:17:48,541 對不起… 307 00:17:56,833 --> 00:17:58,750 一條,妳可以吃嗎? 308 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,333 -不行嗎? -不能吃 309 00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:10,625 九條呢? 310 00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:12,500 九條? 311 00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:14,000 九條… 312 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,416 九條… 313 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,291 妳可要看清楚了 314 00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:20,750 不行 315 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:26,541 三條 316 00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:28,041 三條? 317 00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:29,916 -能吃嗎? -不能吃 318 00:18:30,958 --> 00:18:31,958 不行嗎? 319 00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:34,250 妳看清楚一點 320 00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:36,208 慢慢來 321 00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:39,625 可以了! 322 00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:41,541 可以了,我可以吃了! 323 00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:44,000 你看,三條! 324 00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:46,083 我和牌了,給錢! 325 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,500 多少錢? 326 00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:49,791 多少錢? 327 00:18:50,958 --> 00:18:52,416 我不會算啊 328 00:18:53,125 --> 00:18:54,625 媽,這是妳教我的 329 00:18:55,875 --> 00:18:56,750 妳想想 330 00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,583 二五是幾番? 331 00:19:01,291 --> 00:19:02,416 五一是幾番? 332 00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:04,708 一塊二呢? 333 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,041 二五雞是64,五一是128 334 00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:11,166 一塊二就是256 335 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,416 是我教你的,你怎麼老是不記得? 336 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,375 將來長大怎麼出去應酬呢? 337 00:19:15,583 --> 00:19:17,708 兒子,麻將是用來打的 338 00:19:24,291 --> 00:19:25,125 媽 339 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,541 兒子,是我害死了你 340 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,625 -是我教你打麻將,害你成了賭鬼 -媽 341 00:19:31,708 --> 00:19:33,666 -是我對不起你 -媽,我不是賭鬼 342 00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:35,833 -媽,我不是賭鬼 -我的兒子啊… 343 00:19:39,416 --> 00:19:40,625 賭鬼? 344 00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:42,916 -你走…這裡不歡迎你 -弟弟 345 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:43,958 -媽已經不想再見到你 -弟弟 346 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,625 -媽不認你這個兒子了 -弟弟,你聽我說 347 00:19:45,708 --> 00:19:49,041 -你聽我說 -喂,你是誰?你幹嘛趕我兒子走? 348 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,458 媽,我是天樂 349 00:19:51,666 --> 00:19:53,583 媽都變這樣了,讓我搬回來住吧 350 00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:55,958 是你在外頭混不下去 想要回來避難吧? 351 00:19:56,041 --> 00:19:58,291 我問你 你現在還是不是全職打麻將? 352 00:19:58,666 --> 00:20:00,375 我只是想回來陪陪媽 353 00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:08,000 會考成績怎麼樣? 354 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,208 九個A,名校狀元 355 00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:12,916 進了港大? 356 00:20:13,208 --> 00:20:15,750 拿了獎學金 到麻省理工讀計算機科學 357 00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:17,416 -回來做信息技術了嗎? -當然了 358 00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:19,791 我在1997年 自己開了間電腦公司,搞網頁 359 00:20:19,875 --> 00:20:21,083 還買了房子 360 00:20:21,291 --> 00:20:23,250 這裡嗎?一平方一萬塊吧? 361 00:20:23,333 --> 00:20:24,708 是一平方一萬二塊 362 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,791 所以你說讀書到底有多重要呢 363 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:29,333 哥,我拜託你出息點 364 00:20:29,416 --> 00:20:31,333 當年的慘劇我還歷歷在目 365 00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:33,500 我還記得那時 你欠下一屁股債跑了之後 366 00:20:33,583 --> 00:20:35,625 接著馬上就有人來我們家按門鈴 367 00:20:37,916 --> 00:20:40,291 三個穿著西裝 自稱是檢察官的彪形大漢 368 00:20:40,375 --> 00:20:41,541 還有一個背著背包 369 00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:44,458 口袋插著牙刷和牙膏的保安 也跟著進來了 370 00:20:44,541 --> 00:20:46,958 他們在所有的家具電器上面貼上封條 371 00:20:47,083 --> 00:20:49,250 連冰箱裡面有幾個雞蛋都數過了 372 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:51,208 甚至連內褲都帶走了 373 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,958 然後他們就走過來跟我說 374 00:20:53,041 --> 00:20:54,666 先生,你的房子已經被查封了 375 00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:56,375 請你馬上離開 376 00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:01,583 不要讓我們為難,謝謝 377 00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:02,708 弟弟 378 00:21:03,375 --> 00:21:05,166 你和媽媽還是到我那邊住吧 379 00:21:06,791 --> 00:21:08,416 住得下這麼多人嗎? 380 00:21:18,666 --> 00:21:19,583 大少爺 381 00:21:19,791 --> 00:21:20,833 準備兩個房間 382 00:21:22,666 --> 00:21:24,791 好漂亮啊 383 00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:30,333 媽,他們是我的朋友 384 00:21:30,416 --> 00:21:32,125 -過來,來 -好 385 00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:38,083 -怎麼這麼早回來? -這麼早回來了? 386 00:21:38,333 --> 00:21:39,166 你好 387 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,833 媽,以後這裡就是妳家了 388 00:21:42,291 --> 00:21:45,041 還好我的兩個兒子有一個有出息 389 00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:47,583 還好你努力讀書出人頭地 390 00:21:47,666 --> 00:21:49,750 媽才能住大房子 391 00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:52,375 我好擔心你大哥 392 00:21:52,583 --> 00:21:55,875 他不務正業,成天打麻將 393 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,916 不知道現在是要飯,還是露宿街頭 394 00:21:59,625 --> 00:22:01,541 媽,我發財了! 395 00:22:01,958 --> 00:22:03,541 好 396 00:22:03,958 --> 00:22:05,958 你去招呼你的朋友吧 397 00:22:09,041 --> 00:22:11,916 還好我兩個兒子有一個有出息 398 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,166 還好你努力讀書出人頭地 399 00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,500 媽才能住大房子 400 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,583 我好擔心你大哥 401 00:22:19,791 --> 00:22:22,333 他不務正業,成天打麻將 402 00:22:22,416 --> 00:22:25,750 不知道現在是要飯,還是露宿街頭 403 00:22:26,375 --> 00:22:28,500 媽,我好想死啊! 404 00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:30,208 不要氣餒 405 00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:31,875 努力用功讀書 406 00:22:31,958 --> 00:22:34,708 就會跟你弟弟一樣有出息了 407 00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:38,541 阿菲… 408 00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:41,500 還好我兩個兒子有一個有出息 409 00:22:42,541 --> 00:22:43,875 正好! 410 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,166 我們就是需要 411 00:22:45,250 --> 00:22:46,583 一個像你這樣子的天才 412 00:22:46,708 --> 00:22:47,708 幫我們設計一個 413 00:22:47,791 --> 00:22:50,750 跟全世界不同的麻將電腦遊戲 414 00:22:50,958 --> 00:22:52,750 你是麻雀理工畢業的對吧? 415 00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:54,541 不好意思,我是麻省理工畢業的 416 00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:56,875 -沒關係,月薪20萬,你幹不幹? -幹 417 00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:58,250 可是我不太會打麻將 418 00:22:58,333 --> 00:23:01,000 那你就要去祖堯村找麻將大師 419 00:23:01,083 --> 00:23:02,750 他精通所有的麻將玩法 420 00:23:02,833 --> 00:23:05,291 不過他可不是輕易見人的 421 00:23:05,458 --> 00:23:06,791 你要多帶點誠意 422 00:23:07,166 --> 00:23:08,541 那我是帶橘子去好呢 423 00:23:08,625 --> 00:23:09,875 還是帶蛋糕比較好? 424 00:23:09,958 --> 00:23:11,041 別那麼老套了 425 00:23:11,125 --> 00:23:13,250 多帶點現金去就行了 426 00:23:24,791 --> 00:23:26,583 小子,敢到我的球場玩? 427 00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:31,458 小妹,就是這個呆子吧? 428 00:23:31,541 --> 00:23:32,375 就是他啊 429 00:23:32,458 --> 00:23:33,666 長得挺帥的嘛 430 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,125 身材也不錯 431 00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:36,791 可惜是個笨蛋 432 00:23:37,208 --> 00:23:39,750 不好意思,請問麻將大師在哪? 433 00:23:39,833 --> 00:23:42,208 我是專誠來找他指點迷津的 434 00:23:42,291 --> 00:23:43,125 多多指教 435 00:23:43,208 --> 00:23:45,500 大師是不隨便見人的 436 00:23:45,750 --> 00:23:47,291 這要看你有沒有緣 437 00:23:47,458 --> 00:23:48,625 什麼緣? 438 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,541 通常是港元 439 00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,625 日元也不錯,不過最近貶值 440 00:23:52,708 --> 00:23:53,750 最好是美元 441 00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:55,583 我身上是有點港元 442 00:23:55,791 --> 00:23:57,666 不過大師剛剛走開 443 00:23:57,750 --> 00:23:58,833 你先坐下來吧 444 00:23:58,916 --> 00:24:00,625 我們一邊打麻將一邊等他 445 00:24:00,791 --> 00:24:02,208 不好意思,我不打麻將 446 00:24:02,833 --> 00:24:04,750 我們三缺一,你不賞臉是嗎? 447 00:24:04,833 --> 00:24:06,333 這不是賞不賞臉的問題 448 00:24:06,416 --> 00:24:07,500 這是原則問題 449 00:24:07,583 --> 00:24:09,125 我真的從來都不打麻將 450 00:24:09,208 --> 00:24:11,125 只打一下,十幾二十圈打不死你的 451 00:24:11,208 --> 00:24:12,875 不…這不是死不死的問題 452 00:24:12,958 --> 00:24:14,458 -這是原則問題 -坐下 453 00:24:14,541 --> 00:24:16,666 不…這是打不打的問題 真的是原則問題 454 00:24:16,750 --> 00:24:19,375 -洗牌 -不是洗不洗牌的問題 455 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,458 這是原則問題 456 00:24:20,583 --> 00:24:22,041 你們到底懂不懂我在說什麼? 457 00:24:23,166 --> 00:24:24,000 喂! 458 00:24:24,166 --> 00:24:26,291 這花不了你多少時間而已 459 00:24:26,416 --> 00:24:28,166 這並不是花不花時間的問題 460 00:24:28,250 --> 00:24:30,000 這的的確是原則問題 461 00:24:30,083 --> 00:24:31,458 喂,你在幹什麼? 462 00:24:31,541 --> 00:24:34,000 老闆娘,這麼巧啊 463 00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:36,041 我特地來觀察你的,真是讓我失望 464 00:24:36,125 --> 00:24:37,291 這麼一點小事都辦不好 465 00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:38,708 不是,老闆娘,妳聽我說 466 00:24:38,791 --> 00:24:40,708 我這輩子最討厭就是打麻將了 467 00:24:40,791 --> 00:24:41,916 這麼委屈就別幹了 468 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,666 一個20萬我還怕請不到人嗎? 469 00:24:44,041 --> 00:24:46,208 老闆娘!妳聽我說… 470 00:24:46,291 --> 00:24:47,416 我是真的不會啊,妳聽我說 471 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:49,375 年輕人,有什麼不會的話就學啊 472 00:24:50,250 --> 00:24:52,583 我會幫你的 473 00:24:55,958 --> 00:24:57,625 這個是不是雞糊呢? 474 00:24:58,666 --> 00:25:00,291 -碰 -九萬 475 00:25:00,458 --> 00:25:02,833 -九萬,糊… -不要吃,等自摸 476 00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:06,000 又是九萬,自摸… 477 00:25:06,083 --> 00:25:07,666 -不要吃,再等等吧,還這麼小 -那我可以… 478 00:25:07,750 --> 00:25:09,541 -自摸呢 -拆北 479 00:25:14,416 --> 00:25:15,333 北 480 00:25:17,041 --> 00:25:17,875 九筒 481 00:25:17,958 --> 00:25:19,291 -我吃吧 -不要吃 482 00:25:19,666 --> 00:25:20,625 還小啊? 483 00:25:20,708 --> 00:25:22,250 清一色都讓你摸到了 484 00:25:22,333 --> 00:25:24,000 運氣真不錯,等自摸 485 00:25:28,541 --> 00:25:30,333 又是九筒,能不能吃呢? 486 00:25:30,416 --> 00:25:32,708 吃吧,送上門幹嘛不吃? 487 00:25:32,916 --> 00:25:33,750 吃了 488 00:25:35,041 --> 00:25:36,625 運氣那麼好 489 00:25:40,666 --> 00:25:42,625 什麼都沒做過就有錢拿 490 00:25:42,708 --> 00:25:45,041 你看打麻將有多無聊 491 00:25:48,583 --> 00:25:49,416 八條 492 00:25:49,583 --> 00:25:50,500 一對也打? 493 00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:52,125 做十三么啊 494 00:25:52,375 --> 00:25:55,208 -只有三張而已啊 -你要有點志氣嘛! 495 00:26:03,416 --> 00:26:04,791 等一筒對吧? 496 00:26:05,166 --> 00:26:06,291 -東 -碰 497 00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:08,791 聽牌了還碰? 498 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,750 對不起,我說得太快了 499 00:26:10,833 --> 00:26:12,541 -說碰就碰的了 -好 500 00:26:12,958 --> 00:26:14,750 不怕…我們可以做大四喜 501 00:26:27,708 --> 00:26:28,541 怎麼了? 502 00:26:28,750 --> 00:26:30,041 不要打發財 503 00:26:30,125 --> 00:26:31,625 我有發財 504 00:26:35,750 --> 00:26:37,333 等自摸對吧? 505 00:26:38,083 --> 00:26:39,333 當然了… 506 00:26:39,416 --> 00:26:41,583 你學的真快,有天份 507 00:26:43,625 --> 00:26:45,041 東?槓 508 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:47,958 南?槓 509 00:26:48,041 --> 00:26:49,708 槓西,槓北 510 00:26:52,666 --> 00:26:53,958 發財? 511 00:26:54,833 --> 00:26:55,875 可以和牌了吧? 512 00:27:00,625 --> 00:27:01,500 怎樣? 513 00:27:01,625 --> 00:27:02,583 可以嗎? 514 00:27:03,041 --> 00:27:04,750 可以?那我吃了 515 00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:07,583 我現在打算設計一個麻將游戲 516 00:27:07,666 --> 00:27:10,333 裡面有廣東牌、台灣牌、美國牌 517 00:27:10,416 --> 00:27:12,041 菲律賓牌等所有的麻將 518 00:27:12,125 --> 00:27:14,833 所以我想請大師你幫忙做顧問 519 00:27:15,166 --> 00:27:16,291 大師,你… 520 00:27:17,666 --> 00:27:18,541 堂堂一個男子漢 521 00:27:18,625 --> 00:27:20,125 腳怎麼這麼小? 522 00:27:20,250 --> 00:27:22,458 -有沒有帶現金? -有,當然有 523 00:27:22,666 --> 00:27:23,541 卡呢? 524 00:27:24,541 --> 00:27:26,333 -有七張 -沒刷爆吧? 525 00:27:26,416 --> 00:27:28,625 還沒刷爆的,麻將大師 526 00:27:36,208 --> 00:27:37,208 喂? 527 00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:40,000 各就各位! 528 00:27:44,916 --> 00:27:45,916 兒子 529 00:27:46,458 --> 00:27:49,958 這傢伙運氣很好,很會自摸的呢 530 00:27:52,666 --> 00:27:54,916 你先隨便摸個十三張讓我看看吧 531 00:28:04,458 --> 00:28:05,583 開工吧 532 00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:29,291 我懂了,書包,拍肩膀 533 00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:31,041 紅內褲是用來害人的 534 00:28:31,125 --> 00:28:33,041 讓對手輸錢,我先記下來 535 00:28:33,333 --> 00:28:34,208 擲骰子 536 00:28:38,041 --> 00:28:38,875 等等 537 00:28:39,583 --> 00:28:40,500 切牌 538 00:28:40,833 --> 00:28:42,083 要切牌? 539 00:28:42,541 --> 00:28:43,625 我又懂了 540 00:28:43,708 --> 00:28:45,416 切牌就是切開人家的好運 541 00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:46,916 我先記下來 542 00:28:48,791 --> 00:28:49,625 我靠 543 00:28:50,041 --> 00:28:51,166 牌看起來不錯啊 544 00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:53,208 這一圈我先教你打台灣牌 545 00:28:53,291 --> 00:28:54,958 台灣牌跟廣東牌最大的不同就是 546 00:28:55,041 --> 00:28:57,208 台灣牌有16張 547 00:28:58,708 --> 00:29:00,125 對啊,那我不是少了嗎? 548 00:29:00,875 --> 00:29:02,125 小相公 549 00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:04,875 多好的牌也沒得和牌 550 00:29:06,333 --> 00:29:07,666 他上一把和什麼牌了? 551 00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:09,333 清一色筒子 552 00:29:10,166 --> 00:29:11,041 四筒 553 00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:13,083 吃 554 00:29:14,041 --> 00:29:15,416 清一色筒子 555 00:29:16,458 --> 00:29:17,291 給錢 556 00:29:17,750 --> 00:29:20,833 -現金,夠不夠? -獨聽、門清 557 00:29:20,916 --> 00:29:21,791 打多大啊? 558 00:29:21,875 --> 00:29:24,500 -不夠?不夠就刷卡,來 -沒有字,沒有花,一條龍 559 00:29:24,583 --> 00:29:27,208 -要有誠意啊 -四歸一,三五番 560 00:29:33,208 --> 00:29:34,875 我靠,又拿到這麼漂亮的牌? 561 00:29:35,333 --> 00:29:36,291 漂亮妳也要罵啊? 562 00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:37,458 這一圈我們打日本麻將 563 00:29:37,541 --> 00:29:40,958 日本麻將跟我們廣東麻將一樣是13張 564 00:29:43,625 --> 00:29:45,250 對啊,那我不是多了? 565 00:29:45,958 --> 00:29:49,375 大相公,再好的牌也沒用,沒得和牌 566 00:29:49,666 --> 00:29:51,166 他第二把和什麼牌了? 567 00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:54,458 大四喜,十八羅漢 568 00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:57,291 白板 569 00:29:57,875 --> 00:29:58,750 吃 570 00:30:00,291 --> 00:30:03,125 大四喜,十八羅漢,刷卡! 571 00:30:04,333 --> 00:30:05,708 他的卡全都刷爆了 572 00:30:05,791 --> 00:30:08,625 我有,我借給你吧,要算利息的 573 00:30:08,708 --> 00:30:10,083 他怎麼好像在騙人? 574 00:30:10,166 --> 00:30:11,625 你不要胡說八道 575 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,791 要有誠意…趕快記下招數啊 576 00:30:15,291 --> 00:30:17,583 對了,妳也要記下我跟妳借了多少錢 577 00:30:17,666 --> 00:30:18,625 好 578 00:30:21,291 --> 00:30:23,750 等等!這輪玩什麼牌?有幾張? 579 00:30:25,666 --> 00:30:27,250 美國牌 580 00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:29,000 13張 581 00:30:31,625 --> 00:30:32,583 我靠 582 00:30:33,708 --> 00:30:35,375 美國麻將最大特色就是可以換牌 583 00:30:35,458 --> 00:30:37,375 每家都可以換三張 584 00:30:50,333 --> 00:30:52,125 不會吧? 585 00:30:56,541 --> 00:30:59,333 莊家有權力要求再換一次 586 00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:20,166 我無法呼吸,救命 587 00:31:20,625 --> 00:31:21,916 這鞋子不合穿 588 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,208 找人替他穿回去 589 00:31:23,875 --> 00:31:26,875 別脫我褲子,至少也給我留條內褲吧 590 00:31:28,833 --> 00:31:30,250 先生,不好意思 591 00:31:30,333 --> 00:31:31,166 你被人搶劫了嗎? 592 00:31:31,250 --> 00:31:32,500 不是,我剛才打麻將輸光了錢 593 00:31:32,583 --> 00:31:34,083 麻煩你能不能借11塊80仙給我坐車? 594 00:31:34,166 --> 00:31:36,500 -當然不可以啊,給你2塊好了 -謝謝 595 00:31:36,750 --> 00:31:38,041 你也真活該 596 00:31:38,291 --> 00:31:39,416 夠了,這裡有六塊 597 00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:41,208 妳先搭車走吧,這裡真的很危險 598 00:31:41,375 --> 00:31:43,041 哪有人像你這麼老實的? 599 00:31:43,416 --> 00:31:44,750 見到人就說被搶 600 00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:46,083 見到太太就要說美女 601 00:31:46,166 --> 00:31:47,125 知道了嗎? 602 00:31:48,166 --> 00:31:50,000 不行,那不就是騙人嗎? 603 00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:51,541 違背良心的事我不做 604 00:31:51,958 --> 00:31:53,958 快上車吧…這裡很危險 605 00:31:54,041 --> 00:31:55,000 那你呢? 606 00:31:55,083 --> 00:31:56,875 等我跟人家借到9塊80仙 我就可以搭巴士回家了 607 00:31:56,958 --> 00:31:59,041 妳不用管我,快上車吧… 608 00:31:59,125 --> 00:32:00,291 司機先生,不好意思 609 00:32:00,375 --> 00:32:01,958 麻煩你關門,謝謝 610 00:32:03,125 --> 00:32:04,250 再見… 611 00:32:05,166 --> 00:32:07,666 我明天會準時上班的,再見 612 00:32:14,875 --> 00:32:16,125 先生,不好意思 613 00:32:16,208 --> 00:32:17,333 我剛剛打麻將輸光了錢 614 00:32:17,416 --> 00:32:18,625 能不能藉我9塊80仙給我搭車? 615 00:32:18,708 --> 00:32:20,583 -拜託你了 -喂… 616 00:32:21,416 --> 00:32:22,666 老闆娘,妳回來幹什麼? 617 00:32:22,791 --> 00:32:24,333 妳快點走,這裡很危險 618 00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:25,833 快走… 619 00:32:27,083 --> 00:32:28,250 拿去搭出租車吧 620 00:32:28,625 --> 00:32:29,833 妳怎麼會有錢啊? 621 00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:31,708 明天不用上班了 622 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,791 為什麼不用上班,我做錯什麼了? 623 00:32:33,875 --> 00:32:35,166 根本就沒有這份工作 624 00:32:35,250 --> 00:32:36,791 是我跟他們串通起來騙你的 625 00:32:36,875 --> 00:32:38,541 為什麼要騙我?我很好騙嗎? 626 00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:41,416 坦白說,我騙了這麼久的人 你是最好騙的 627 00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:43,833 別傻了,哪有一個月20萬的工作? 628 00:32:43,916 --> 00:32:45,708 什麼沒有?我第一份工作真的有20萬 629 00:32:45,791 --> 00:32:47,416 我上一份工作還30萬呢 630 00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:48,916 那怎麼會搞成這副德性? 631 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,416 我怎麼會知道?我又沒有做錯事 632 00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:52,875 我只知道我自己買了房子 還有認識了妳 633 00:32:52,958 --> 00:32:55,583 你拿去吧,反正都是你自己的錢 634 00:32:58,125 --> 00:33:00,083 不好意思,小姐,我被人騙了 635 00:33:00,166 --> 00:33:02,625 -能不能藉9塊80仙給我坐車?拜託妳 -白痴,走開 636 00:33:02,708 --> 00:33:05,208 先生,不好意思,我被人騙了 能不能借9塊80仙給我坐車啊? 637 00:33:05,291 --> 00:33:06,750 -我沒錢,神經病 -拜託你了 638 00:33:07,375 --> 00:33:10,500 有沒有搞錯?這是什麼世界? 639 00:33:10,833 --> 00:33:12,666 說打麻將輸錢,人家還給個兩塊 640 00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:14,583 說被人騙,一毛錢都沒有 641 00:33:15,625 --> 00:33:17,208 我不求人了,我走路回家 642 00:33:19,625 --> 00:33:21,666 -你可是要過海的 -我游泳 643 00:33:27,333 --> 00:33:30,458 大少爺,稅務局的人來找你 644 00:33:33,958 --> 00:33:35,791 我是稅務主任,你是屋主嗎? 645 00:33:35,875 --> 00:33:37,958 妳怎麼跑到稅務局去了? 646 00:33:38,333 --> 00:33:40,875 -查你的稅啊 -也不用打扮成這樣吧? 647 00:33:40,958 --> 00:33:43,416 掃把頭並不是每個人都適合 648 00:33:43,625 --> 00:33:44,791 這個你不用管 649 00:33:45,375 --> 00:33:46,833 我現在懷疑你逃稅 650 00:33:46,916 --> 00:33:49,750 根據資料,你沒有工作但是卻住豪宅 651 00:33:49,833 --> 00:33:51,166 你的房子是租來還是買來的? 652 00:33:51,416 --> 00:33:53,041 租的,是妳幫我弄的 653 00:33:53,166 --> 00:33:54,958 不要說那麼多廢話,多少錢? 654 00:33:55,041 --> 00:33:56,791 不知道,由銀行自動轉帳的 655 00:33:56,875 --> 00:33:59,000 是258200塊 656 00:33:59,083 --> 00:34:01,125 你不查帳戶,銀行會多扣錢的 657 00:34:01,208 --> 00:34:02,666 我哪會這些東西? 658 00:34:02,750 --> 00:34:03,958 你老是愛理不理的 659 00:34:04,083 --> 00:34:06,333 還好我有時常幫你查看 660 00:34:07,083 --> 00:34:08,500 沙發新買的嗎?多少錢? 661 00:34:08,583 --> 00:34:09,625 九萬八千塊 662 00:34:09,875 --> 00:34:11,291 九萬八千塊? 663 00:34:11,375 --> 00:34:13,125 你可以不要老是這麼闊氣嗎? 664 00:34:13,208 --> 00:34:15,416 買家具時要跟人家講價 665 00:34:15,916 --> 00:34:17,416 我們那張情人椅呢? 666 00:34:17,500 --> 00:34:18,916 搬進我的房間了 667 00:34:20,541 --> 00:34:23,416 那我最喜歡的毛毛枕墊呢,你扔了? 668 00:34:23,500 --> 00:34:24,791 在這裡 669 00:34:24,958 --> 00:34:26,291 有沒有搞錯啊? 670 00:34:26,583 --> 00:34:28,958 你讓這虎姑婆坐我的枕墊? 671 00:34:29,041 --> 00:34:29,875 都坐臭了 672 00:34:30,041 --> 00:34:31,041 她是我媽 673 00:34:32,041 --> 00:34:34,833 伯母,妳好,我是詠琪 674 00:34:34,916 --> 00:34:36,333 我是德華的女朋友 675 00:34:36,541 --> 00:34:37,458 妳是我媳婦? 676 00:34:37,541 --> 00:34:39,875 -是啊… -妳會不會打麻將?陪我打幾圈吧? 677 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,375 會啊…婆婆 678 00:34:42,125 --> 00:34:43,666 媳婦,妳可要讓讓我啊 679 00:34:43,750 --> 00:34:45,166 我有老人癡呆症的 680 00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:46,166 沒問題… 681 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:47,791 喂,老規矩啊 682 00:34:47,916 --> 00:34:49,875 贏錢又不發脾氣,你就要娶我 683 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,125 這也行? 684 00:34:51,625 --> 00:34:52,958 你真的願意? 685 00:34:53,666 --> 00:34:55,291 她不耍個性的話,人還不錯的 686 00:34:55,458 --> 00:34:57,625 妳贏了錢就是我的媳婦了? 687 00:34:57,708 --> 00:34:59,250 那我給你喂牌 688 00:34:59,333 --> 00:35:00,500 謝謝婆婆 689 00:35:00,583 --> 00:35:01,708 一筒 690 00:35:03,041 --> 00:35:05,250 我喂,一筒 691 00:35:05,583 --> 00:35:07,291 -婆婆 -不對嗎? 692 00:35:09,208 --> 00:35:10,041 二筒 693 00:35:10,208 --> 00:35:12,333 我再喂,二筒 694 00:35:12,541 --> 00:35:13,375 婆婆! 695 00:35:13,458 --> 00:35:14,625 又不對嗎? 696 00:35:14,750 --> 00:35:15,833 妳這是在盯我牌 697 00:35:15,958 --> 00:35:17,416 不是,我是喂 698 00:35:17,750 --> 00:35:19,375 我打什麼妳打什麼,那就是盯牌 699 00:35:19,458 --> 00:35:21,333 不是,是喂 700 00:35:21,416 --> 00:35:24,541 妳要什麼我打什麼,這才叫做盯牌嘛 701 00:35:25,708 --> 00:35:26,875 那妳盯我牌吧 702 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,416 盯妳牌可是很缺德的 703 00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:29,458 妳盯我牌吧 704 00:35:29,666 --> 00:35:30,583 一筒 705 00:35:32,250 --> 00:35:33,166 一筒 706 00:35:33,250 --> 00:35:34,125 婆婆! 707 00:35:34,208 --> 00:35:35,333 又不對了嗎? 708 00:35:37,500 --> 00:35:38,416 二筒 709 00:35:39,416 --> 00:35:41,333 -二筒 -婆婆! 710 00:35:41,666 --> 00:35:43,208 又不對嗎? 711 00:35:43,333 --> 00:35:44,875 妳這是在喂我 712 00:35:44,958 --> 00:35:45,875 是盯妳牌 713 00:35:45,958 --> 00:35:48,000 妳說,我要什麼妳打什麼 那才是叫盯牌嘛 714 00:35:48,208 --> 00:35:50,875 不是,妳要什麼我打什麼叫做喂 715 00:35:50,958 --> 00:35:53,291 妳打什麼我打什麼,才叫做盯牌 716 00:35:53,375 --> 00:35:54,791 妳會不會打麻將啊? 717 00:35:55,083 --> 00:35:57,500 婆婆,妳是真傻還是裝瘋? 718 00:35:57,583 --> 00:35:59,375 我當然是真傻啊 719 00:35:59,458 --> 00:36:01,541 我是個虎姑婆嘛 720 00:36:02,250 --> 00:36:03,666 婆婆,妳在耍什麼花樣啊? 721 00:36:03,750 --> 00:36:04,833 妳不要叫我婆婆! 722 00:36:04,916 --> 00:36:06,500 想要做我們家的媳婦?妳想得美! 723 00:36:06,583 --> 00:36:07,750 -五筒 -碰 724 00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:09,958 -七條 -碰 725 00:36:10,833 --> 00:36:12,291 碰,一條 726 00:36:12,666 --> 00:36:13,625 碰 727 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,083 我和牌了 728 00:36:21,125 --> 00:36:22,625 我跟妳拼了! 729 00:36:32,375 --> 00:36:33,833 -一筒 -碰! 730 00:36:34,750 --> 00:36:37,208 開槓!我要斷了妳的十三么 731 00:36:37,291 --> 00:36:38,541 -怕妳啊? -一條 732 00:36:38,625 --> 00:36:40,166 好像有點火藥味啊 733 00:36:40,333 --> 00:36:42,250 婆媳間難免有些糾紛 734 00:36:44,375 --> 00:36:46,166 怎麼了? 735 00:36:48,416 --> 00:36:49,375 是誰翻的桌子? 736 00:36:51,833 --> 00:36:53,541 打麻將最沒品的就是翻桌子 737 00:36:53,625 --> 00:36:55,083 是誰翻的桌子? 738 00:36:58,500 --> 00:36:59,416 是誰翻的桌子? 739 00:37:00,583 --> 00:37:02,041 我們不想多事 740 00:37:02,166 --> 00:37:03,750 說吧,是誰翻的桌子? 741 00:37:09,083 --> 00:37:10,500 我沒有發脾氣 742 00:37:10,666 --> 00:37:13,000 我剛才只是覺得頭有點痛 743 00:37:13,125 --> 00:37:15,708 就把手這樣支著頭,靠在桌子上 744 00:37:15,791 --> 00:37:18,458 沒有想到這力量一集中 745 00:37:18,541 --> 00:37:20,916 然後這桌子不曉的怎麼就翻了 746 00:37:26,458 --> 00:37:28,000 怎麼會從這邊轉著轉著 747 00:37:28,083 --> 00:37:29,541 轉到那邊去了呢? 748 00:37:29,750 --> 00:37:31,791 一定是風太大了 749 00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:34,541 不會吧,會不會有那個東西啊? 750 00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:41,666 算了 751 00:37:42,750 --> 00:37:43,916 算了 752 00:37:54,125 --> 00:37:55,791 我不拿走這個,可以嗎? 753 00:37:56,166 --> 00:37:57,083 放著吧 754 00:38:00,375 --> 00:38:02,125 可是不可以給別人用 755 00:38:02,375 --> 00:38:03,375 好 756 00:38:07,125 --> 00:38:08,500 大家多贏一點 757 00:38:10,041 --> 00:38:11,125 大家繼續玩 758 00:38:11,708 --> 00:38:13,791 媽,打麻將了 759 00:38:16,625 --> 00:38:18,625 媽,妳要手下留情啊 760 00:38:46,708 --> 00:38:47,833 只是打個牌而已 761 00:38:48,250 --> 00:38:50,000 何必要人家輸得剩條內褲呢? 762 00:38:50,083 --> 00:38:51,958 留點錢讓人搭車也好啊 763 00:38:52,291 --> 00:38:54,208 關我屁事? 764 00:38:54,708 --> 00:38:55,583 多那幾塊錢 765 00:38:55,666 --> 00:38:58,875 我拿去買串魚丸吃我也高興 766 00:39:07,333 --> 00:39:08,333 -怎麼打? -一把定輸贏 767 00:39:08,416 --> 00:39:09,250 打什麼? 768 00:39:09,333 --> 00:39:12,125 我弟弟打美國麻將輸了 我就跟你玩這個 769 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:13,916 好 770 00:39:16,875 --> 00:39:18,416 我最喜歡做莊 771 00:39:19,166 --> 00:39:20,625 做莊未必是好事 772 00:39:42,041 --> 00:39:43,083 換牌 773 00:40:05,416 --> 00:40:06,416 莊家打麻將 774 00:40:07,541 --> 00:40:09,083 都說了做莊未必是好事 775 00:40:09,375 --> 00:40:11,458 不過莊家有權要求多換一次牌 776 00:40:11,750 --> 00:40:13,833 做莊有做莊的好處 777 00:40:13,916 --> 00:40:15,208 來,換牌 778 00:40:35,666 --> 00:40:36,541 對不起 779 00:40:41,666 --> 00:40:44,208 我都說了做莊未必是好事,打一張吧 780 00:40:54,625 --> 00:40:55,500 九筒 781 00:40:56,875 --> 00:40:57,708 九筒 782 00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:00,375 一筒 783 00:41:01,083 --> 00:41:01,916 九筒 784 00:41:03,375 --> 00:41:04,375 九條 785 00:41:08,625 --> 00:41:09,625 九筒 786 00:41:10,583 --> 00:41:12,500 對不起,絕張 787 00:41:14,666 --> 00:41:17,125 我還可以轉牌的啊 788 00:41:24,666 --> 00:41:25,583 -東 -槓 789 00:41:27,666 --> 00:41:29,083 -南 -槓 790 00:41:30,458 --> 00:41:31,958 -西 -槓 791 00:41:32,958 --> 00:41:34,791 -槓死你好了! -槓 792 00:42:03,958 --> 00:42:06,250 我不和牌也不要打給你 793 00:42:09,916 --> 00:42:11,083 一萬 794 00:42:32,166 --> 00:42:33,541 大家都沒得吃了 795 00:42:34,583 --> 00:42:36,708 我怎麼摸了三張四筒呢? 796 00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:38,875 你怎麼吃呢? 797 00:42:40,041 --> 00:42:41,583 對不起… 798 00:42:48,708 --> 00:42:49,666 又是四筒? 799 00:42:50,208 --> 00:42:52,541 五張四筒?你出老千! 800 00:42:53,333 --> 00:42:56,583 等一下你就知道了,還打不打? 801 00:42:57,666 --> 00:42:58,541 打四筒 802 00:42:58,625 --> 00:42:59,958 放炮的話,我得全數負責呢 803 00:43:00,083 --> 00:43:01,458 如果他手上那張是四筒的話 804 00:43:01,541 --> 00:43:03,333 我就砍了他的手 805 00:43:26,833 --> 00:43:28,791 自摸,海底撈月 806 00:43:31,041 --> 00:43:32,166 十八羅漢 807 00:43:33,458 --> 00:43:34,291 大四喜 808 00:43:36,208 --> 00:43:39,375 太好了…拿刀來… 809 00:43:40,541 --> 00:43:43,166 小子,你會不會打麻將? 810 00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:45,875 四筒跟五筒加在一起是不能成將啊 811 00:43:46,458 --> 00:43:48,250 我這張是五筒扮四筒 812 00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:50,916 只是在五筒中間粘了一粒飯 813 00:44:07,625 --> 00:44:09,666 無緣無故 814 00:44:11,833 --> 00:44:13,625 從哪找來的飯啊? 815 00:44:19,250 --> 00:44:20,750 居然還是熱的 816 00:44:21,625 --> 00:44:24,083 這麼大的酒樓,找粒飯有什麼難的? 817 00:44:24,458 --> 00:44:26,250 你自己就是個飯桶啊 818 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,666 穿紅色內褲有用嗎? 819 00:44:42,833 --> 00:44:43,875 今天沒用 820 00:44:45,208 --> 00:44:46,708 來,給你十塊去搭車吧 821 00:44:46,791 --> 00:44:47,750 我住在附近而已 822 00:44:48,458 --> 00:44:49,583 買串魚丸吃嘛 823 00:44:51,666 --> 00:44:53,666 褲子還給你,謝謝 824 00:45:00,125 --> 00:45:04,541 果然是一代宗師,受人景仰 825 00:45:11,416 --> 00:45:12,375 你幹什麼? 826 00:45:14,166 --> 00:45:15,333 看這裡 827 00:45:15,583 --> 00:45:17,208 宗師你個頭 828 00:45:31,416 --> 00:45:33,541 算了,兒子 829 00:45:34,125 --> 00:45:36,625 褲子都拉破了,穿不了了 830 00:45:37,708 --> 00:45:38,750 撤! 831 00:45:48,541 --> 00:45:50,166 我從來沒見過一個人 832 00:45:50,250 --> 00:45:53,291 打麻將打得他那樣出神入化 833 00:45:53,375 --> 00:45:54,958 能學到他一點點我們就發財了 834 00:45:55,041 --> 00:45:56,333 那我是不是應該拜他為師? 835 00:45:56,416 --> 00:45:59,250 早點說的話,我就不打他了嘛 836 00:45:59,541 --> 00:46:01,208 這是完全兩回事 837 00:46:01,291 --> 00:46:04,458 一代宗師會明白,他不會介意 838 00:46:04,541 --> 00:46:08,125 兒子,你的脾氣真的要改了 839 00:46:08,208 --> 00:46:11,500 以後要先想清楚之後再打人 840 00:46:12,125 --> 00:46:13,750 知道了 841 00:46:17,583 --> 00:46:20,041 你們能不能把錢還給那個傻瓜? 842 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,250 不好意思 843 00:46:33,750 --> 00:46:34,833 錢拿不回來 844 00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:36,041 只幫你拿回了褲子 845 00:46:40,208 --> 00:46:41,250 你在算什麼? 846 00:46:42,416 --> 00:46:43,583 沒有啊,算一算欠你多少錢 847 00:46:43,666 --> 00:46:45,125 開張欠單給你嘛 848 00:46:45,333 --> 00:46:46,916 都是兄弟,不用算了 849 00:46:47,041 --> 00:46:48,333 不行,我吃你的住你的 850 00:46:48,416 --> 00:46:49,875 算清楚點比較好 851 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:51,166 要不要算利息? 852 00:46:51,250 --> 00:46:52,833 我算過了,優惠利率加二可以嗎? 853 00:46:53,208 --> 00:46:54,291 神經病 854 00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:59,375 兒子,這瓶過期的果汁好好喝 855 00:46:59,708 --> 00:47:01,083 好喝就多喝一瓶吧 856 00:47:01,875 --> 00:47:03,625 不然加三也可以 857 00:47:03,750 --> 00:47:05,666 要不要再算上這瓶果汁 858 00:47:05,791 --> 00:47:07,041 我們都有責任照顧媽 859 00:47:07,208 --> 00:47:09,916 我算過了,她下午就開始喝了 到現在已經喝了三瓶 860 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,583 你看,我已經記下她喝過些什麼了 861 00:47:11,666 --> 00:47:12,625 有1982年的拉菲 862 00:47:12,708 --> 00:47:13,708 1990年的木桐 863 00:47:13,791 --> 00:47:15,291 -還有1982年的瑪歌 -神經病 864 00:47:15,375 --> 00:47:17,666 二少爺…有人找你 865 00:47:18,958 --> 00:47:19,875 你好 866 00:47:27,666 --> 00:47:28,500 幹什麼? 867 00:47:29,458 --> 00:47:31,833 那些錢我沒辦法拿回來 868 00:47:31,916 --> 00:47:33,958 我只能把我那份還給你 869 00:47:34,083 --> 00:47:35,333 本來會多一點的 870 00:47:35,416 --> 00:47:38,416 可是我下午逛街買了好多東西 871 00:47:38,500 --> 00:47:40,833 幸好沒有買那個名牌手提袋 872 00:47:40,916 --> 00:47:42,916 不然的話,就只剩下100塊了 873 00:47:43,875 --> 00:47:47,833 售貨員說那個手提袋只剩最後一個 874 00:47:51,458 --> 00:47:53,750 -等妳有錢再還給我好了 -好 875 00:47:55,333 --> 00:47:56,750 這麼久沒有看到乾妹妹 876 00:47:56,833 --> 00:47:58,083 不是上次打了她 877 00:47:58,166 --> 00:47:59,500 所以她就生我的氣吧? 878 00:47:59,583 --> 00:48:01,791 你乾妹妹在跟別人約會呢 879 00:48:02,750 --> 00:48:03,958 她也有人要? 880 00:48:04,625 --> 00:48:06,250 她挺好的 881 00:48:07,916 --> 00:48:10,000 她有什麼好的? 882 00:48:10,916 --> 00:48:13,958 -這些橙都不新鮮 -笑口常開,旺夫益子 883 00:48:14,958 --> 00:48:18,125 老爸,我突然覺得我很愛乾妹妹 884 00:48:18,375 --> 00:48:20,708 你怎麼搞的?每次都這樣 885 00:48:20,833 --> 00:48:22,541 沒人搶了,你就不要 886 00:48:22,708 --> 00:48:24,833 有人要了,你就要去爭 887 00:48:26,125 --> 00:48:27,666 東西買了就走吧 888 00:48:27,916 --> 00:48:29,291 我要吃水果! 889 00:48:29,375 --> 00:48:30,583 那你想吃什麼水果? 890 00:48:30,666 --> 00:48:32,750 不知道,反正我就要吃水果! 891 00:48:33,250 --> 00:48:35,916 買根甘蔗回去吃吧,可以降火氣 892 00:48:36,416 --> 00:48:37,625 像你們這種賣不掉的甘蔗 893 00:48:37,708 --> 00:48:40,166 我才不要吃,好嗎? 894 00:48:40,958 --> 00:48:42,458 老闆,甘蔗怎麼賣? 895 00:48:58,250 --> 00:49:02,541 哥,你是如何從賭鬼 變成麻將大俠的? 896 00:49:04,125 --> 00:49:05,666 那天我離開家後 897 00:49:06,291 --> 00:49:08,041 流落街頭,徬徨無措的時候 898 00:49:08,125 --> 00:49:09,833 我遇到了觀音菩薩 899 00:49:10,291 --> 00:49:11,458 她點化了我 900 00:49:12,458 --> 00:49:13,625 真的嗎? 901 00:49:14,166 --> 00:49:15,666 不過我也猜得到 902 00:49:15,750 --> 00:49:18,500 不是觀音菩薩就是黃大仙 903 00:49:25,041 --> 00:49:26,583 老弟,你相信我說的嗎? 904 00:49:27,041 --> 00:49:30,583 -大哥,你真的以為我會相信? -臭小子 905 00:49:32,041 --> 00:49:33,750 你快說實話吧 906 00:49:35,458 --> 00:49:37,458 曾經有人問我什麼是菩薩 907 00:49:38,041 --> 00:49:40,208 其實就是當你霉運當頭的時候 908 00:49:40,625 --> 00:49:41,625 扶你一把的人 909 00:49:41,708 --> 00:49:43,375 看你還敢不敢賭 910 00:49:52,500 --> 00:49:53,875 你怎麼樣了? 911 00:50:05,458 --> 00:50:07,333 我們就是這樣開始的 912 00:50:07,791 --> 00:50:09,000 她對我很好 913 00:50:09,791 --> 00:50:11,250 我輸到沒錢吃飯 914 00:50:11,791 --> 00:50:13,500 她就把她的飯盒給我吃 915 00:50:14,458 --> 00:50:16,666 -而且每天都有不同的菜 -明天想吃什麼? 916 00:50:16,750 --> 00:50:17,750 鹹魚肉餅 917 00:50:18,333 --> 00:50:19,375 好,沒問題 918 00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:20,625 可是過沒多久 919 00:50:21,500 --> 00:50:23,125 我發現她的人品有問題 920 00:50:23,791 --> 00:50:26,625 回去跟你媽說明天吃鹹魚肉餅 知不知道? 921 00:50:26,791 --> 00:50:27,625 知道了 922 00:50:27,833 --> 00:50:29,416 但她真的很愛我 923 00:50:30,333 --> 00:50:31,166 很為我著想 924 00:50:31,250 --> 00:50:32,250 走開 925 00:50:34,041 --> 00:50:36,166 走開… 926 00:50:36,250 --> 00:50:38,125 借過… 927 00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:45,291 借到了,你發財了! 928 00:50:45,500 --> 00:50:47,458 觀世音菩薩借了二億給你啊 929 00:50:48,500 --> 00:50:50,541 (二億) 930 00:50:53,416 --> 00:50:54,750 從那個時候開始 931 00:50:54,833 --> 00:50:56,291 我的牌越摸越順 932 00:50:56,916 --> 00:50:58,458 摸得越順,牌品就越好 933 00:50:58,750 --> 00:51:00,375 牌品越好,牌就越好 934 00:51:01,083 --> 00:51:02,958 紅中,發財,白板 935 00:51:03,666 --> 00:51:06,375 也很夠朋友 在我有需要的時候,就會馬上出現 936 00:51:06,916 --> 00:51:09,125 東南西北,八張花 937 00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:12,291 順風正位就來,不順風正位就不來 938 00:51:13,166 --> 00:51:14,291 他們真夠義氣 939 00:51:21,500 --> 00:51:22,375 媽? 940 00:51:22,750 --> 00:51:24,000 後來怎麼樣了? 941 00:51:25,916 --> 00:51:27,125 我自己好了 942 00:51:27,708 --> 00:51:28,916 我也希望她變好 943 00:51:29,666 --> 00:51:31,791 於是我送她到國外讀書 944 00:51:32,333 --> 00:51:34,916 她書讀得很好,很有天份 945 00:51:35,416 --> 00:51:37,250 -不過還是品行不良 -你這混蛋,回去跟你媽媽說 946 00:51:37,333 --> 00:51:39,041 你明天想吃披薩 947 00:51:40,708 --> 00:51:42,250 她回到香港後 948 00:51:42,875 --> 00:51:44,875 我們就一直糾纏不清 949 00:51:46,125 --> 00:51:50,625 擾擾嚷嚷,分分合合 950 00:51:52,541 --> 00:51:54,291 兜兜轉轉 951 00:51:56,958 --> 00:51:59,500 大家都一樣,想問卻又睡著了 952 00:52:04,416 --> 00:52:06,000 她已經改了很多 953 00:52:07,583 --> 00:52:10,458 快了… 954 00:52:21,625 --> 00:52:23,458 妳在幹什麼啊? 955 00:52:24,791 --> 00:52:26,041 是你叫我變的 956 00:52:26,125 --> 00:52:27,625 我不是要妳這個樣子 957 00:52:27,833 --> 00:52:29,875 以前身材勻稱不是很好看嗎? 958 00:52:29,958 --> 00:52:31,000 現在這個樣子 959 00:52:31,083 --> 00:52:33,625 頭重腳輕,站都站不穩 960 00:52:34,208 --> 00:52:35,166 妳怎麼了? 961 00:52:36,125 --> 00:52:37,583 站不穩摔跤了 962 00:52:38,291 --> 00:52:39,208 妳真是的 963 00:52:39,500 --> 00:52:41,916 大少爺…不得了,有人來砸場子 964 00:52:45,291 --> 00:52:46,166 喂 965 00:52:46,250 --> 00:52:47,166 我來找你 966 00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:48,750 你來幹什麼? 967 00:52:49,125 --> 00:52:50,708 我來拜你為師 968 00:52:54,708 --> 00:52:56,416 拜師是你這種態度的嗎? 969 00:52:57,708 --> 00:53:00,041 那你說,應該什麼態度? 970 00:53:00,666 --> 00:53:02,500 起碼也要送包橙子吧 971 00:53:03,500 --> 00:53:06,333 你想吃橙子嗎?那我買給你吧 972 00:53:06,833 --> 00:53:07,708 不用了 973 00:53:09,041 --> 00:53:09,916 四圈 974 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:11,833 贏牌且不發脾氣的話,我就收你為徒 975 00:53:11,916 --> 00:53:13,000 -師父 -等一等 976 00:53:13,083 --> 00:53:14,041 還有娶妳做老婆 977 00:53:14,166 --> 00:53:15,291 -老公 -別急 978 00:53:15,500 --> 00:53:16,375 來 979 00:53:22,208 --> 00:53:25,000 我也可以泡師母嘛 980 00:53:28,208 --> 00:53:29,708 吃,自摸 981 00:53:29,791 --> 00:53:32,250 大家都一樣,給錢 982 00:53:32,333 --> 00:53:33,750 -給你看醫… -給你看醫… 983 00:53:34,875 --> 00:53:36,000 我媽幾十歲了 984 00:53:37,583 --> 00:53:38,958 伯母,請妳喝茶 985 00:53:39,416 --> 00:53:40,875 伯母,給妳買糖果吃 986 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,583 你們倆的牌品真好 987 00:53:44,666 --> 00:53:46,541 媳婦,我喂牌給妳吧 988 00:53:46,666 --> 00:53:47,833 伯母,不要了吧 989 00:53:47,958 --> 00:53:48,833 來吧 990 00:53:48,916 --> 00:53:50,416 -四萬 -碰 991 00:53:50,750 --> 00:53:52,041 謝謝伯母 992 00:53:52,125 --> 00:53:54,625 叫我婆婆,我最喜歡妳了 993 00:53:54,708 --> 00:53:57,166 上次有個胸部小的掃把頭 994 00:53:57,250 --> 00:54:00,541 沒有禮貌,還叫我什麼虎姑婆 995 00:54:00,750 --> 00:54:01,625 七萬 996 00:54:02,125 --> 00:54:03,000 我吃了! 997 00:54:04,416 --> 00:54:06,208 -一萬 -吃 998 00:54:06,875 --> 00:54:08,166 好 999 00:54:08,250 --> 00:54:09,125 八條 1000 00:54:09,291 --> 00:54:10,708 -吃 -吃 1001 00:54:19,875 --> 00:54:20,875 最後一把了 1002 00:54:21,083 --> 00:54:22,625 你贏了多少?我贏了兩倍 1003 00:54:22,916 --> 00:54:23,958 我也差不多 1004 00:54:24,041 --> 00:54:26,625 只要這次不出十三么,我們就贏定了 1005 00:54:26,791 --> 00:54:27,750 好! 1006 00:54:37,583 --> 00:54:40,083 兒子快打,你是莊家啊 1007 00:54:52,333 --> 00:54:54,583 你該不會是天糊吧? 1008 00:54:56,291 --> 00:54:58,458 你不是天糊十三么吧? 1009 00:55:00,083 --> 00:55:02,291 -不是,哪有那麼容易? -東 1010 00:55:09,083 --> 00:55:10,041 南 1011 00:55:14,625 --> 00:55:15,583 西 1012 00:55:52,875 --> 00:55:55,750 朋友,你搞什麼? 1013 00:56:04,291 --> 00:56:05,250 東 1014 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:01,250 一筒 1015 00:57:04,083 --> 00:57:06,000 你該不會是海底撈月吧? 1016 00:57:06,083 --> 00:57:08,166 你不會是海底撈月十三么吧? 1017 00:57:09,166 --> 00:57:10,083 不好意思 1018 00:57:10,875 --> 00:57:12,958 這是天意,我還是不能娶妳 1019 00:57:15,666 --> 00:57:17,166 師父,你出老千 1020 00:57:17,250 --> 00:57:19,208 兒子,你怎麼這樣耍人家? 1021 00:57:19,291 --> 00:57:20,458 我沒有 1022 00:57:20,875 --> 00:57:22,666 是我的老友不贊成 1023 00:57:22,750 --> 00:57:24,875 你一下說是老友,一下又說是天意 1024 00:57:24,958 --> 00:57:26,625 -你到底想不想娶我? -想 1025 00:57:26,708 --> 00:57:28,000 想就現在娶啊 1026 00:57:31,458 --> 00:57:32,750 好像還不到時候 1027 00:57:35,375 --> 00:57:37,166 你撒謊! 1028 00:57:37,625 --> 00:57:40,333 這麼多年來 你根本就沒有想過要娶我 1029 00:57:40,458 --> 00:57:42,375 你只是把我當個傻瓜! 1030 00:57:42,833 --> 00:57:44,500 我不是說了還不到時候嗎? 1031 00:57:45,625 --> 00:57:46,875 妳看看妳現在的樣子 1032 00:57:47,291 --> 00:57:49,250 你當然這麼說了 1033 00:57:49,416 --> 00:57:51,041 你每一次都是摸好牌 1034 00:57:51,166 --> 00:57:53,500 你要什麼牌就有什麼牌 1035 00:57:53,583 --> 00:57:55,000 你當然會這麼說了! 1036 00:57:55,166 --> 00:57:56,500 那件事與這無關 1037 00:57:57,041 --> 00:57:59,000 不管好牌爛牌,我都還是一樣打 1038 00:58:01,583 --> 00:58:02,458 好 1039 00:58:05,708 --> 00:58:09,083 我祝你以後每一次都摸爛牌 1040 00:58:09,583 --> 00:58:11,791 心裡想要什麼就沒有什麼牌 1041 00:58:12,416 --> 00:58:14,250 放炮,包牌 1042 00:58:14,500 --> 00:58:16,375 和牌變詐和 1043 00:58:17,041 --> 00:58:19,833 求上不得,求碰不能 1044 00:58:20,250 --> 00:58:21,833 一次就輸個清光 1045 00:58:22,083 --> 00:58:23,875 永無翻本之日 1046 00:58:36,625 --> 00:58:37,625 不要哭 1047 00:58:38,791 --> 00:58:41,833 不要為這種愛情騙子 留下任何一滴淚,我們走 1048 00:58:45,583 --> 00:58:47,041 麻將大俠 1049 00:58:47,416 --> 00:58:48,791 我呸! 1050 00:58:49,166 --> 00:58:50,000 走 1051 00:58:52,083 --> 00:58:53,666 我也看不下去了 1052 00:58:53,833 --> 00:58:55,583 我去開瓶果汁來喝 1053 00:59:02,291 --> 00:59:03,916 好大一股怨氣 1054 00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:07,666 吃,給錢! 1055 00:59:07,875 --> 00:59:09,458 你是不是有毛病? 1056 00:59:10,250 --> 00:59:11,583 拿去看醫生 1057 00:59:11,708 --> 00:59:13,291 不行,不夠毒 1058 00:59:13,375 --> 00:59:15,250 給你兒子看醫生 1059 00:59:17,083 --> 00:59:18,708 -給你全家看醫生! -好 1060 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:20,833 -好! -好! 1061 00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:23,875 這麼爛 1062 00:59:23,958 --> 00:59:25,291 那就推掉重洗啊 1063 00:59:25,666 --> 00:59:28,333 重來,謝謝 1064 00:59:29,541 --> 00:59:30,416 一筒 1065 00:59:30,916 --> 00:59:33,541 -和牌了! -截和! 1066 00:59:34,041 --> 00:59:35,083 截和! 1067 00:59:35,500 --> 00:59:38,291 你有沒有搞錯?你竟敢截和? 1068 00:59:38,625 --> 00:59:40,166 -就是啊 -有沒有搞錯? 1069 00:59:40,250 --> 00:59:41,708 推他下海! 1070 00:59:41,791 --> 00:59:43,666 -真的可以嗎? -可以,他只是個手下而已 1071 00:59:43,750 --> 00:59:44,708 來吧 1072 00:59:48,583 --> 00:59:50,875 有沒有搞錯?竟敢扣起我的牌? 1073 00:59:51,375 --> 00:59:52,208 去! 1074 00:59:53,291 --> 00:59:55,833 有沒有搞錯?我做什麼,你做什麼? 1075 01:00:02,083 --> 01:00:03,000 跳的好啊 1076 01:00:06,791 --> 01:00:07,625 喂 1077 01:00:08,083 --> 01:00:09,750 我什麼都沒做過 1078 01:00:09,833 --> 01:00:12,291 她玩得這麼高興,你就讓著她吧 1079 01:00:12,500 --> 01:00:13,791 兒子,這樣不好吧 1080 01:00:14,083 --> 01:00:15,208 我是你的老爸 1081 01:00:15,291 --> 01:00:16,416 我孝順你這麼多年了 1082 01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:18,291 你也想討個好媳婦的,對吧? 1083 01:00:18,375 --> 01:00:19,333 真討厭 1084 01:00:19,416 --> 01:00:21,958 -快點吧,老爸,你最有效果了 -快點 1085 01:00:22,041 --> 01:00:24,500 -快點 -快跳吧 1086 01:00:24,958 --> 01:00:29,416 -20、40、50、100 -喂 1087 01:00:30,166 --> 01:00:31,125 對不起 1088 01:00:49,666 --> 01:00:51,000 -一筒 -不要吃! 1089 01:00:51,375 --> 01:00:52,625 吃了妳就完了 1090 01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:54,125 吃吧 1091 01:00:54,583 --> 01:00:55,708 為什麼不吃? 1092 01:00:56,083 --> 01:00:57,333 我的師奶朋友告訴我 1093 01:00:57,416 --> 01:00:59,333 祖堯村出現了一個大胸的女騙子 1094 01:00:59,416 --> 01:01:01,083 -我多希望那個人不是妳 -關你什麼事? 1095 01:01:01,166 --> 01:01:02,333 我的事情不用你管 1096 01:01:02,416 --> 01:01:04,666 妳要是和了這把牌就永遠抬不起頭來 1097 01:01:04,750 --> 01:01:05,875 吃給他看,十三幺 1098 01:01:05,958 --> 01:01:07,291 小子,給錢! 1099 01:01:09,125 --> 01:01:10,250 我錢不夠 1100 01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:11,375 你先走吧 1101 01:01:49,333 --> 01:01:52,041 兒子,上次的那粒飯… 1102 01:01:52,333 --> 01:01:53,625 不要說! 1103 01:01:56,625 --> 01:01:59,333 我今天倒要看看他有多神通廣大 1104 01:02:05,333 --> 01:02:06,250 幫我摸 1105 01:02:28,791 --> 01:02:29,625 九萬 1106 01:02:42,833 --> 01:02:43,750 六萬 1107 01:02:52,083 --> 01:02:52,958 九條 1108 01:03:19,666 --> 01:03:20,500 九萬 1109 01:03:21,083 --> 01:03:21,916 吃! 1110 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,166 混一色,對對和 1111 01:03:39,666 --> 01:03:41,083 -槓 -搶暗槓 1112 01:03:42,125 --> 01:03:43,208 十三幺 1113 01:03:51,958 --> 01:03:52,916 我去倒杯茶 1114 01:03:57,583 --> 01:03:58,458 一筒 1115 01:03:58,541 --> 01:03:59,375 吃! 1116 01:03:59,458 --> 01:04:00,375 -地糊 -地糊 1117 01:04:00,500 --> 01:04:02,208 一炮三響 1118 01:04:06,166 --> 01:04:07,416 不要打了 1119 01:04:10,083 --> 01:04:11,125 不要打了 1120 01:04:13,083 --> 01:04:14,666 北風尾,最後一輪了 1121 01:04:15,458 --> 01:04:16,666 真的不要打了 1122 01:04:16,958 --> 01:04:18,750 說好了打四圈就要打四圈 1123 01:04:29,250 --> 01:04:31,291 老朋友,你們都到哪去了? 1124 01:05:08,583 --> 01:05:10,250 -一台 -花 1125 01:05:10,875 --> 01:05:12,125 六張了 1126 01:05:12,750 --> 01:05:13,583 花 1127 01:05:17,583 --> 01:05:20,166 七張了… 1128 01:05:22,291 --> 01:05:23,208 花 1129 01:05:23,625 --> 01:05:25,416 兩台花,八張 1130 01:05:35,250 --> 01:05:36,625 全自碰啊 1131 01:05:38,791 --> 01:05:40,666 我看你這把怎麼死 1132 01:05:40,833 --> 01:05:41,875 幾番? 1133 01:05:42,500 --> 01:05:43,958 -大四喜 -40番 1134 01:06:02,083 --> 01:06:05,375 嚇死我了! 1135 01:06:05,666 --> 01:06:07,875 嚇死我了! 1136 01:06:08,500 --> 01:06:09,625 他剛才一句話都不吭 1137 01:06:09,708 --> 01:06:12,208 如果這把被他贏了40番 1138 01:06:12,291 --> 01:06:13,833 那我不就糟了 1139 01:06:13,916 --> 01:06:16,208 老爸… 1140 01:06:16,291 --> 01:06:17,583 還好我吃了 1141 01:06:17,708 --> 01:06:19,291 沒事了… 1142 01:06:19,375 --> 01:06:20,875 -沒事了 -嚇死我了 1143 01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:22,291 看看他什麼牌 1144 01:06:23,166 --> 01:06:24,833 沒想到他的牌由頭到尾都這麼爛 1145 01:06:24,916 --> 01:06:26,000 真不知道他在想些什麼 1146 01:06:26,083 --> 01:06:28,625 麻將大俠要倒大霉了 1147 01:06:31,666 --> 01:06:33,291 不好意思,我們是破產管理員 1148 01:06:33,625 --> 01:06:35,583 大少爺! 1149 01:06:36,125 --> 01:06:36,958 幹什麼? 1150 01:06:40,500 --> 01:06:41,666 又是你? 1151 01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:42,958 是啊,這麼巧 1152 01:06:43,041 --> 01:06:45,041 真是不好意思,三次都是我封的 1153 01:06:47,250 --> 01:06:49,291 沒關係…請隨便 1154 01:06:49,375 --> 01:06:50,291 幹活 1155 01:06:53,875 --> 01:06:56,750 大少爺…有人來看房子 1156 01:07:03,541 --> 01:07:04,750 你們也太快了吧? 1157 01:07:05,041 --> 01:07:06,833 要是你跑了,我們怎麼辦? 1158 01:07:06,916 --> 01:07:08,333 所以就趕緊過來看看 1159 01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:10,000 那好不好看? 1160 01:07:10,458 --> 01:07:12,541 看到你落魄挺好看的 1161 01:07:13,208 --> 01:07:14,125 -來了 -幹什麼? 1162 01:07:14,208 --> 01:07:15,166 打 1163 01:07:28,916 --> 01:07:29,833 不好意思… 1164 01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:31,083 這裡已經被查封了 1165 01:07:31,166 --> 01:07:33,000 請把手上的椅子放下來 1166 01:07:34,375 --> 01:07:36,875 -對不起 -現在我打算租這裡 1167 01:07:36,958 --> 01:07:39,083 這裡空氣好,又夠清靜 1168 01:07:39,166 --> 01:07:42,416 望著大海,四周無人,又很美麗 1169 01:07:42,500 --> 01:07:44,875 最重要的是… 1170 01:07:44,958 --> 01:07:46,208 這裡是你的 1171 01:07:46,625 --> 01:07:48,541 你的房子已被查封,請你立刻離開 1172 01:07:48,625 --> 01:07:50,375 所有的東西都不准帶走 1173 01:07:53,708 --> 01:07:56,750 想回來這裡?不要做白日夢了 1174 01:07:56,958 --> 01:07:58,833 睡天橋下吧 1175 01:07:59,166 --> 01:08:02,083 大少爺…有封信忘了交給你了 1176 01:08:09,166 --> 01:08:10,958 好,好運還沒跑光! 1177 01:08:12,041 --> 01:08:13,875 好,好運還沒跑光! 1178 01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:15,958 好,好運還沒跑光! 1179 01:08:16,125 --> 01:08:18,041 兒子,信裡頭說什麼? 1180 01:08:18,125 --> 01:08:19,375 媽,我們搬家吧 1181 01:08:19,458 --> 01:08:21,625 還沒有發財之前,我申請了國民住宅 1182 01:08:21,708 --> 01:08:23,125 等了十年,終於等到了 1183 01:08:23,208 --> 01:08:25,000 而且還是在牛頭角上村! 1184 01:08:25,083 --> 01:08:26,416 太棒了! 1185 01:08:26,500 --> 01:08:27,541 樓下有公交車站 1186 01:08:27,625 --> 01:08:28,791 走幾步就到地鐵站了 1187 01:08:28,875 --> 01:08:30,041 真是好得不得了 1188 01:08:30,125 --> 01:08:31,541 那我們不是會有很多街坊鄰舍? 1189 01:08:31,625 --> 01:08:34,083 -我最喜歡熱鬧了 -媽就不用怕風濕了 1190 01:08:34,166 --> 01:08:35,541 -快趕過去看怎樣裝修 -快點 1191 01:08:35,625 --> 01:08:36,541 -那就快走吧 -走! 1192 01:08:36,625 --> 01:08:40,208 好久都沒那麼幸運了 那以後就不用做那麼多活了 1193 01:08:40,291 --> 01:08:41,625 死要面子! 1194 01:08:46,375 --> 01:08:48,958 哥,我覺得你真樂觀 1195 01:08:49,541 --> 01:08:50,708 摸了幾年好牌 1196 01:08:50,791 --> 01:08:53,416 摸幾次爛牌有什麼關係? 1197 01:08:53,916 --> 01:08:55,625 總有一天會好起來的 1198 01:08:57,583 --> 01:08:59,166 你呢?找工作找得如何了? 1199 01:08:59,666 --> 01:09:00,916 不找了 1200 01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:03,291 我打算跟采兒一起設計一個麻將游戲 1201 01:09:03,958 --> 01:09:05,375 好啊 1202 01:09:05,791 --> 01:09:06,916 不要擔心了 1203 01:09:08,125 --> 01:09:10,291 我只擔心媽會不習慣 1204 01:09:11,375 --> 01:09:12,958 媽怎麼會不習慣呢? 1205 01:09:13,083 --> 01:09:16,458 媽以前可是靠縫衣服做塑膠花 1206 01:09:16,541 --> 01:09:18,041 把你們養大的 1207 01:09:18,458 --> 01:09:20,791 早點睡吧,明天上學別遲到了 1208 01:09:20,875 --> 01:09:22,750 媽,開關在那兒 1209 01:09:29,875 --> 01:09:30,875 去哪裡? 1210 01:09:31,250 --> 01:09:32,208 大俠? 1211 01:09:33,250 --> 01:09:35,458 -婆婆 -你現在開出租車? 1212 01:09:35,541 --> 01:09:37,291 是啊,開出租車自由嘛 1213 01:09:37,583 --> 01:09:38,958 沒客人的時候就打麻將 1214 01:09:39,125 --> 01:09:40,708 最近手氣好點了嗎? 1215 01:09:40,875 --> 01:09:41,916 就快了 1216 01:09:42,083 --> 01:09:43,666 加油… 1217 01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:44,875 好 1218 01:10:37,208 --> 01:10:38,291 妳怎麼進來的? 1219 01:10:38,708 --> 01:10:40,583 我破門而入的,反正也沒人嘛 1220 01:10:40,875 --> 01:10:42,083 又來幫我打掃? 1221 01:10:57,416 --> 01:10:59,875 反正看不見,不要管了 1222 01:10:59,958 --> 01:11:01,916 等過年前再一次打掃 1223 01:11:11,666 --> 01:11:13,083 我本來想放在垃圾房的 1224 01:11:13,166 --> 01:11:15,458 可是袋子破了,弄得到處都是 1225 01:11:15,541 --> 01:11:17,208 就先擱在這裡了 1226 01:11:18,875 --> 01:11:19,708 喂 1227 01:11:32,791 --> 01:11:34,458 我已經盡量把它給丟出去了 1228 01:11:34,541 --> 01:11:36,708 可是風一吹又把它給吹回來了 1229 01:11:36,791 --> 01:11:38,166 我幫你擦一擦吧 1230 01:11:38,416 --> 01:11:40,125 你不要這樣子嘛 1231 01:11:40,791 --> 01:11:42,083 你現在這樣是幹嘛啊? 1232 01:11:42,291 --> 01:11:43,583 人家打掃了一整天 1233 01:11:43,666 --> 01:11:45,208 你一點都不感激我 1234 01:11:45,541 --> 01:11:47,750 我在家裡連個碗都不用洗 1235 01:11:48,833 --> 01:11:50,750 現在又是我錯了嗎? 1236 01:11:50,875 --> 01:11:51,958 喂! 1237 01:11:52,750 --> 01:11:54,041 你這是什麼意思? 1238 01:11:54,666 --> 01:11:56,041 不吭一聲就要走了? 1239 01:12:10,208 --> 01:12:12,000 我跟那個黑金剛在拍拖 1240 01:12:16,333 --> 01:12:18,125 我跟那個黑金剛在拍拖 1241 01:12:18,208 --> 01:12:20,083 你不生氣嗎?你說句話啊 1242 01:12:20,833 --> 01:12:21,666 詠琪 1243 01:12:21,750 --> 01:12:23,416 你不要說了… 1244 01:12:24,458 --> 01:12:27,000 你每次一叫我的名字,只會說那句話 1245 01:12:28,125 --> 01:12:30,083 我想我們真的要分開一段時間 1246 01:12:30,916 --> 01:12:32,958 你不要再傷害我了 1247 01:12:33,375 --> 01:12:35,083 不要在耍我了,好不好? 1248 01:12:35,291 --> 01:12:37,291 我已經夠可憐的了 1249 01:12:38,416 --> 01:12:39,458 我做什麼都不對 1250 01:12:39,541 --> 01:12:40,833 改了你又不喜歡 1251 01:12:40,916 --> 01:12:43,250 做這樣也不對,做那樣也不對 1252 01:12:43,333 --> 01:12:45,250 你到底想怎麼樣? 1253 01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:47,833 你到底愛不愛我? 1254 01:12:48,666 --> 01:12:50,250 有時候愛,有時候不愛 1255 01:12:50,625 --> 01:12:52,041 那什麼時候愛啊? 1256 01:12:52,416 --> 01:12:54,375 看妳為我哭得又慘又可憐 1257 01:12:55,041 --> 01:12:56,750 又幫我打掃,我怎麼能不感動? 1258 01:12:56,833 --> 01:12:58,083 這個時候就愛啊 1259 01:12:58,708 --> 01:13:00,208 那什麼時候不愛啊? 1260 01:13:01,208 --> 01:13:03,833 看到妳把擦過眼淚鼻涕的紙巾 丟出車外 1261 01:13:03,916 --> 01:13:06,708 從沙發底幫妳找出一大堆的垃圾 1262 01:13:06,791 --> 01:13:07,750 還有魚骨頭 1263 01:13:07,833 --> 01:13:09,708 招來螞蟻的時候,那個時候就不愛 1264 01:13:09,916 --> 01:13:10,791 我哪有? 1265 01:13:10,875 --> 01:13:12,458 魚骨頭我扔出窗外去了 1266 01:13:12,625 --> 01:13:14,041 扔出窗外也不好 1267 01:13:14,208 --> 01:13:15,250 那邊只是草地嘛 1268 01:13:15,333 --> 01:13:16,583 可是有人走啊 1269 01:13:16,875 --> 01:13:18,750 那我不扔出去,掃進沙發底 1270 01:13:18,833 --> 01:13:20,541 你又嫌髒又怕招螞蟻 1271 01:13:20,625 --> 01:13:23,458 妳可以把垃圾袋放進垃圾房去嘛 1272 01:13:23,750 --> 01:13:25,458 垃圾袋很容易破 1273 01:13:25,791 --> 01:13:27,041 可以用兩個啊 1274 01:13:27,125 --> 01:13:29,458 提著垃圾,不要用拖的啊 1275 01:13:29,541 --> 01:13:31,416 你這個人真挑剔 1276 01:13:31,625 --> 01:13:34,000 我當然很挑剔,找老婆可不能開玩笑 1277 01:13:34,083 --> 01:13:35,791 這可是一生一世的事 1278 01:13:39,375 --> 01:13:40,500 就算我人品好 1279 01:13:40,583 --> 01:13:43,000 我牌品不好,你一樣不喜歡我 1280 01:13:44,250 --> 01:13:46,458 人品好,牌品自然就會好 1281 01:13:50,083 --> 01:13:52,916 那我回去改過,你會等我的吧? 1282 01:14:01,291 --> 01:14:02,541 你現在去打麻將嗎? 1283 01:14:02,750 --> 01:14:04,208 -可以不去打 -不 1284 01:14:04,416 --> 01:14:05,833 我就是希望你去打麻將 1285 01:14:05,916 --> 01:14:08,541 我想在分開前再看你打一次牌 1286 01:14:09,375 --> 01:14:10,500 有什麼好看的? 1287 01:14:10,875 --> 01:14:11,875 好看 1288 01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:14,833 你打麻將時的樣子好專業好酷的 1289 01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:25,125 靠,這麼爛的牌 1290 01:14:25,208 --> 01:14:27,416 沒關係,爛牌有爛牌的打法 1291 01:14:27,500 --> 01:14:28,458 打什麼? 1292 01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:30,708 隨便,八條 1293 01:14:34,333 --> 01:14:37,666 牌回頭必有因,先留著 1294 01:14:40,666 --> 01:14:42,125 有沒有搞錯? 1295 01:14:42,708 --> 01:14:43,666 沒關係 1296 01:14:49,875 --> 01:14:51,791 快打啊… 1297 01:14:51,875 --> 01:14:54,166 慢慢打,不要緊張 1298 01:14:59,958 --> 01:15:00,833 碰 1299 01:15:02,625 --> 01:15:03,541 碰 1300 01:15:04,041 --> 01:15:04,875 碰 1301 01:15:05,625 --> 01:15:06,708 碰 1302 01:15:11,416 --> 01:15:12,291 打哪一張? 1303 01:15:12,375 --> 01:15:13,333 會輸的 1304 01:15:14,166 --> 01:15:17,041 最近常常這樣,一聽牌就放炮 1305 01:15:19,416 --> 01:15:21,208 -五條 -吃! 1306 01:15:21,375 --> 01:15:24,458 -單吊四番 -早知道就不打這張了 1307 01:15:25,125 --> 01:15:27,708 -打這張輸得更慘 -他媽的,你為什麼不打那張? 1308 01:15:27,791 --> 01:15:28,958 我清一色滿貫呢 1309 01:15:29,041 --> 01:15:30,666 -下次… -好險 1310 01:15:38,666 --> 01:15:39,791 三家都在聽牌 1311 01:15:40,125 --> 01:15:41,166 那打哪張? 1312 01:15:41,500 --> 01:15:43,875 照牌路看,上家要這六張 1313 01:15:44,208 --> 01:15:45,458 對家要這六張 1314 01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:46,708 下家這兩張 1315 01:15:47,458 --> 01:15:49,416 那肯定放炮了,都不能打 1316 01:15:50,291 --> 01:15:52,500 打是要打,想想怎樣打 1317 01:15:53,500 --> 01:15:55,791 甩牌掀桌,左手抓椅子,右手抓煙缸 1318 01:15:55,875 --> 01:15:58,333 -閉上眼睛砸下去 -不是叫妳打人 1319 01:15:58,416 --> 01:16:00,875 是叫妳想想打哪張牌,可以輸少一點 1320 01:16:00,958 --> 01:16:02,958 -這張 -清一色,滿貫 1321 01:16:03,208 --> 01:16:05,166 -這張 -也是清一色,滿貫 1322 01:16:05,458 --> 01:16:07,416 這張,混一色輸四番 1323 01:16:10,750 --> 01:16:11,666 賭他三番 1324 01:16:12,375 --> 01:16:14,916 你他媽的,居然敢打出這一張牌? 1325 01:16:15,208 --> 01:16:16,833 嫌小就別吃啊 1326 01:16:17,375 --> 01:16:18,458 他媽的,我吃 1327 01:16:18,625 --> 01:16:19,583 我當然吃 1328 01:16:19,666 --> 01:16:22,125 這張牌,多一張花,他媽的 1329 01:16:22,416 --> 01:16:23,750 他媽的 1330 01:16:24,750 --> 01:16:25,750 西,槓! 1331 01:16:26,250 --> 01:16:28,416 千萬不要給我東,他媽的! 1332 01:16:29,625 --> 01:16:31,375 真是的,妳… 1333 01:16:31,458 --> 01:16:32,916 他媽的 1334 01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:34,625 我自摸都被妳搞掉了 1335 01:16:34,916 --> 01:16:35,750 英明啊 1336 01:16:35,833 --> 01:16:37,875 我從來沒有輸錢輸得這麼開心過 1337 01:16:37,958 --> 01:16:39,333 贏錢未必會開心 1338 01:16:39,416 --> 01:16:41,541 有時候打對了才會有滿足感 1339 01:16:43,916 --> 01:16:44,875 我明白了 1340 01:16:44,958 --> 01:16:45,958 明白什麼? 1341 01:16:46,041 --> 01:16:47,375 我明白你為什麼不發脾氣 1342 01:16:47,791 --> 01:16:49,666 越爛的牌越要用心打 1343 01:16:49,791 --> 01:16:50,875 發脾氣是沒用的 1344 01:16:51,250 --> 01:16:53,541 記住人品好,牌品自然就會好 1345 01:16:56,416 --> 01:16:57,375 你相信我 1346 01:16:57,791 --> 01:16:59,916 下次我回來,你一定會娶我 1347 01:17:02,458 --> 01:17:03,375 保重 1348 01:17:04,500 --> 01:17:05,333 保重 1349 01:17:09,041 --> 01:17:10,416 這妞挺好的 1350 01:17:10,500 --> 01:17:11,750 我沒說她不好啊 1351 01:17:13,500 --> 01:17:14,541 好了,我先走了 1352 01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:17,458 他媽的,我們又三缺一了 1353 01:17:17,916 --> 01:17:19,083 再見,加油 1354 01:17:31,833 --> 01:17:35,416 (八億) 1355 01:17:43,250 --> 01:17:45,750 謝謝… 1356 01:17:47,166 --> 01:17:48,833 采兒,我們的運氣回來了! 1357 01:17:50,916 --> 01:17:53,375 你們幹嘛這麼開心啊? 1358 01:17:53,458 --> 01:17:55,416 當然開心了 有個日本人買了我的麻將游戲 1359 01:17:55,500 --> 01:17:57,458 還說要搞個麻將大賽做宣傳 1360 01:17:57,625 --> 01:17:59,041 -很好啊 -哥,你也來參加吧 1361 01:17:59,125 --> 01:18:01,458 當然參加了,獎品是什麼? 1362 01:18:01,583 --> 01:18:03,750 獎品可厲害了,是五張日本來回機票 1363 01:18:03,833 --> 01:18:04,958 而且是經濟艙 1364 01:18:05,041 --> 01:18:06,708 那我們可以一家人去玩了 1365 01:18:06,791 --> 01:18:07,666 好啊 1366 01:18:07,750 --> 01:18:09,250 可是多了一張 1367 01:18:09,375 --> 01:18:12,500 還有媳婦啊 她也是時候回來跟我們團聚了 1368 01:18:17,791 --> 01:18:20,583 老朋友,好久不見了 1369 01:18:27,541 --> 01:18:31,541 (嚦咕嚦咕麻將俠) 1370 01:18:34,083 --> 01:18:35,541 這麼多人參加啊 1371 01:18:35,708 --> 01:18:37,166 當然了,妳也要看看獎品是什麼啊 1372 01:18:37,250 --> 01:18:38,666 有五張機票呢 1373 01:18:38,958 --> 01:18:40,583 -讓開 -讓開 1374 01:18:46,875 --> 01:18:49,500 你真的在這裡 1375 01:18:49,583 --> 01:18:51,125 你這麼有錢也來參加? 1376 01:18:51,333 --> 01:18:52,750 因為我喜歡這個封號 1377 01:18:53,875 --> 01:18:55,250 麻將俠 1378 01:18:56,458 --> 01:18:58,541 我要贏光你所有的錢 1379 01:18:59,291 --> 01:19:03,041 房子、車、名 1380 01:19:05,041 --> 01:19:06,041 還有女人 1381 01:19:07,708 --> 01:19:08,625 老爸 1382 01:19:08,833 --> 01:19:10,916 德華! 1383 01:19:11,583 --> 01:19:13,416 對不起… 1384 01:19:13,791 --> 01:19:14,875 對不起… 1385 01:19:16,833 --> 01:19:19,291 幸虧還沒開始,我還擔心來不及呢 1386 01:19:19,583 --> 01:19:20,791 妳又當回空姐了啊? 1387 01:19:21,625 --> 01:19:22,583 是啊… 1388 01:19:24,583 --> 01:19:26,375 我幫你求了很多東西 1389 01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:28,416 這個是梵帝岡的念珠 1390 01:19:28,791 --> 01:19:30,291 還有伊朗的帽子 1391 01:19:32,041 --> 01:19:33,541 尼泊爾的圍巾 1392 01:19:34,833 --> 01:19:36,500 這是在泰國求來的 1393 01:19:36,708 --> 01:19:38,333 還有羊頭一個 1394 01:19:43,166 --> 01:19:44,291 我有八億 1395 01:19:45,958 --> 01:19:48,208 (八億) 1396 01:19:51,791 --> 01:19:53,041 各位先生,各位女士 1397 01:19:53,250 --> 01:19:56,250 很感謝大家今天前來參加 嚦咕嚦咕麻將俠大賽 1398 01:19:56,833 --> 01:19:58,833 這次的遊戲規則非常簡單 1399 01:19:58,958 --> 01:20:01,041 每位參賽者都有一底籌碼 1400 01:20:01,125 --> 01:20:04,166 輸光就出局,由另一位參賽者補上 1401 01:20:04,250 --> 01:20:06,833 最後四位還有籌碼的參賽者 1402 01:20:06,916 --> 01:20:08,666 就可以進入總決賽 1403 01:20:09,208 --> 01:20:11,041 比賽正式開始 1404 01:20:11,833 --> 01:20:13,875 出局… 1405 01:20:14,416 --> 01:20:16,375 -有沒有搞錯?拉我走? -出局 1406 01:20:16,500 --> 01:20:17,458 你們… 1407 01:20:20,666 --> 01:20:21,541 -出局! -吃! 1408 01:20:21,916 --> 01:20:23,208 吃,出局! 1409 01:20:23,583 --> 01:20:24,500 出局 1410 01:20:29,333 --> 01:20:31,458 我要替我兒子報仇 1411 01:20:32,750 --> 01:20:33,791 六條 1412 01:20:33,958 --> 01:20:34,791 吃 1413 01:20:36,791 --> 01:20:39,041 吃! 1414 01:20:39,125 --> 01:20:39,958 出局 1415 01:20:42,875 --> 01:20:44,375 我要替我婆婆報仇 1416 01:20:46,875 --> 01:20:47,791 一條 1417 01:20:49,708 --> 01:20:51,375 -我吃 -出局 1418 01:20:52,000 --> 01:20:53,791 “我要替我婆婆報仇” 1419 01:20:56,166 --> 01:20:57,791 我要替我兒子報仇 1420 01:20:58,708 --> 01:21:00,583 伯母,妳剛才就已經來過了 1421 01:21:00,666 --> 01:21:02,083 我剛才來過了嗎? 1422 01:21:03,375 --> 01:21:04,708 那我有沒有報仇啊? 1423 01:21:04,958 --> 01:21:06,000 如果剛才妳已經報了仇 1424 01:21:06,083 --> 01:21:08,458 那麼妳媳婦就不會為妳報仇了 1425 01:21:08,541 --> 01:21:10,958 那我媳婦為我報仇了嗎? 1426 01:21:11,791 --> 01:21:12,875 保安! 1427 01:21:13,208 --> 01:21:16,916 -現在可以讓人打了又打嗎? -不好意思… 1428 01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:19,333 我媽有老人癡呆症,走吧… 1429 01:21:19,708 --> 01:21:21,125 -一萬 -碰 1430 01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:23,333 -五萬 -碰 1431 01:21:25,916 --> 01:21:27,333 -七筒 -上 1432 01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:30,375 -三筒 -上 1433 01:21:39,125 --> 01:21:39,958 九筒 1434 01:21:47,708 --> 01:21:48,541 七萬! 1435 01:21:49,416 --> 01:21:51,250 吃,清一色,對對和! 1436 01:21:51,750 --> 01:21:52,625 打得好 1437 01:21:53,958 --> 01:21:55,791 出局,走 1438 01:22:07,166 --> 01:22:08,083 四條 1439 01:22:18,916 --> 01:22:20,791 -三萬 -我和牌了,清一色 1440 01:22:22,500 --> 01:22:23,500 出局 1441 01:22:23,916 --> 01:22:24,791 打得好 1442 01:22:27,708 --> 01:22:28,583 吃 1443 01:22:29,833 --> 01:22:30,666 雞糊 1444 01:22:30,750 --> 01:22:31,583 和牌 1445 01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:32,875 雞糊 1446 01:22:32,958 --> 01:22:33,791 吃 1447 01:22:33,875 --> 01:22:34,750 雞糊 1448 01:22:34,833 --> 01:22:36,166 怎麼都是雞糊啊? 1449 01:22:36,250 --> 01:22:38,750 我的牌那麼爛,能拿到雞糊就不錯了 1450 01:22:42,791 --> 01:22:44,333 經過一輪激烈的比賽 1451 01:22:44,416 --> 01:22:45,833 四強終於誕生了 1452 01:22:45,916 --> 01:22:48,750 加油,贏了我就嫁給你! 1453 01:22:49,291 --> 01:22:50,125 好! 1454 01:22:50,416 --> 01:22:51,833 婆婆,他說好啊 1455 01:22:51,916 --> 01:22:55,208 那要贏了才算,他的牌這麼爛 1456 01:22:55,416 --> 01:22:57,125 決賽的規矩還是很簡單 1457 01:22:57,208 --> 01:22:58,958 哪位參賽者首先贏到十底 1458 01:22:59,083 --> 01:23:01,708 就是冠軍,麻將俠 1459 01:23:13,708 --> 01:23:14,750 怎麼樣? 1460 01:23:15,208 --> 01:23:17,125 我知道我打得好,你就一定會回來 1461 01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:19,916 碰 1462 01:23:21,083 --> 01:23:22,000 碰 1463 01:23:23,416 --> 01:23:24,291 碰 1464 01:23:25,041 --> 01:23:25,875 碰 1465 01:23:27,541 --> 01:23:29,375 -碰 -碰 1466 01:23:30,416 --> 01:23:31,291 碰 1467 01:23:34,625 --> 01:23:35,500 碰 1468 01:23:37,541 --> 01:23:38,416 碰 1469 01:23:55,916 --> 01:23:57,875 一把就把你解決掉 1470 01:24:00,458 --> 01:24:03,250 他手上一定是筒子 1471 01:24:03,500 --> 01:24:04,833 萬子可以打 1472 01:24:27,250 --> 01:24:30,791 拿著八萬,條子可以打 1473 01:24:46,208 --> 01:24:49,291 拿著八條,筒子可以打 1474 01:24:51,833 --> 01:24:52,708 八筒 1475 01:25:24,416 --> 01:25:25,416 八條安全 1476 01:25:33,166 --> 01:25:34,541 八筒安全 1477 01:25:44,541 --> 01:25:45,833 八萬安全 1478 01:26:24,125 --> 01:26:25,458 還好你夠朋友 1479 01:26:37,083 --> 01:26:38,000 你也來了 1480 01:26:51,083 --> 01:26:52,000 正花 1481 01:26:54,833 --> 01:26:55,750 又一張 1482 01:26:59,541 --> 01:27:01,166 我就知道是你 1483 01:27:04,875 --> 01:27:06,625 老友,謝謝你了 1484 01:27:08,375 --> 01:27:11,541 早知道他是三番,我就和牌了 1485 01:27:24,166 --> 01:27:26,125 你的老友都在我這裡呢 1486 01:27:39,541 --> 01:27:40,583 -紅中 -槓 1487 01:27:48,041 --> 01:27:49,291 -發財 -槓 1488 01:27:52,541 --> 01:27:53,416 對不起 1489 01:27:56,791 --> 01:27:58,416 -白板 -槓 1490 01:28:21,083 --> 01:28:23,375 你看我吃飯吃得多狼狽 1491 01:28:26,916 --> 01:28:28,041 還熱的呢 1492 01:28:36,333 --> 01:28:37,208 槓 1493 01:28:58,291 --> 01:28:59,208 槓 1494 01:29:03,875 --> 01:29:04,708 槓 1495 01:29:06,333 --> 01:29:08,666 我靠! 1496 01:29:12,541 --> 01:29:13,416 槓 1497 01:29:27,291 --> 01:29:28,166 槓 1498 01:29:34,375 --> 01:29:35,375 吃! 1499 01:29:38,791 --> 01:29:41,083 大四喜,十八羅漢 1500 01:30:00,125 --> 01:30:01,625 恭喜… 1501 01:30:01,958 --> 01:30:03,458 打得真好 1502 01:30:03,750 --> 01:30:06,250 尤其是第一副牌,都能夠逆轉 1503 01:30:06,708 --> 01:30:09,583 麻將俠這個名字實至名歸 1504 01:30:10,500 --> 01:30:12,500 這五張機票是你的 1505 01:30:12,916 --> 01:30:14,125 德華! 1506 01:30:21,625 --> 01:30:23,166 太好了! 1507 01:30:24,166 --> 01:30:27,708 可以嫁了! 1508 01:30:33,083 --> 01:30:34,625 請問一下,你為什麼不敢打五筒? 1509 01:30:34,708 --> 01:30:36,333 他掉的是四筒 1510 01:30:36,500 --> 01:30:38,125 你怕什麼?是不是跟那粒飯有關係? 1511 01:30:38,958 --> 01:30:39,833 我拍個照 1512 01:30:42,458 --> 01:30:44,083 不算,我要跟他再打一圈! 1513 01:30:44,166 --> 01:30:45,083 現在不用打了 1514 01:30:45,166 --> 01:30:47,708 根據賽規,先贏到10底的人就是冠軍 1515 01:30:47,791 --> 01:30:49,583 我哥哥足足贏了32番 1516 01:30:49,666 --> 01:30:51,333 都不知道贏了你多少底呢 1517 01:30:52,583 --> 01:30:53,833 我要跟你單挑! 1518 01:30:53,958 --> 01:30:56,875 打真金白銀,打身家,打你的名 1519 01:30:56,958 --> 01:30:58,541 還有打那五張機票 1520 01:30:58,625 --> 01:31:00,416 兒子,不用打了 1521 01:31:00,666 --> 01:31:02,875 他現在的牌運已經回來了 1522 01:31:02,958 --> 01:31:05,500 我要打,我要當麻將大俠! 1523 01:31:06,750 --> 01:31:08,875 -你真的要當麻將大俠? -對! 1524 01:31:28,541 --> 01:31:30,583 我連你的正花都摸到了 1525 01:31:33,083 --> 01:31:34,083 我也有 1526 01:32:06,333 --> 01:32:08,250 我最討厭四筒了 1527 01:32:11,083 --> 01:32:12,375 你們真是調皮 1528 01:32:12,458 --> 01:32:14,625 你說什麼?要么就要,要么就摸 1529 01:32:14,708 --> 01:32:16,500 沒有第三種選擇了 1530 01:32:27,791 --> 01:32:30,125 你喜歡去日本,拿去吧 1531 01:32:30,333 --> 01:32:32,833 你喜歡麻將大俠這個名字,也拿去吧 1532 01:32:34,083 --> 01:32:37,000 只是打麻將,不用賭身家 1533 01:32:45,333 --> 01:32:46,791 什麼啊? 1534 01:33:08,916 --> 01:33:10,041 看看他有什麼牌 1535 01:33:10,916 --> 01:33:12,500 大四喜,混一色,七張花 1536 01:33:12,583 --> 01:33:13,666 而且是地胡 1537 01:33:13,791 --> 01:33:14,833 又是40番? 1538 01:33:16,000 --> 01:33:17,375 以德報怨 1539 01:33:17,625 --> 01:33:20,333 一代宗師不愧是一代宗師 1540 01:33:29,541 --> 01:33:33,291 師父! 1541 01:33:34,000 --> 01:33:36,750 -師父! -師父! 1542 01:33:37,041 --> 01:33:39,458 -師父! -師父! 1543 01:33:40,208 --> 01:33:41,666 -快點! -師父! 1544 01:33:41,750 --> 01:33:43,041 師父! 1545 01:34:41,666 --> 01:34:42,875 發財 1546 01:34:44,250 --> 01:34:45,125 發財 1547 01:34:46,625 --> 01:34:47,541 發財 1548 01:34:56,458 --> 01:34:58,125 這樣大家都發財 1549 01:34:58,791 --> 01:35:01,541 -我們大家都發財 -我們大家都發財 1550 01:35:01,750 --> 01:35:04,041 -大家發財 -大家發財 1551 01:36:46,666 --> 01:36:48,666 字幕翻譯:葉文琪 94761

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