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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:03,546 Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:03,550 --> 00:00:06,170 There are Grey-human hybrids all over the Earth. 3 00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:09,009 If anybody's up to something, I'll know it. 4 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:11,130 I'm going away, Max, but you're special. 5 00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:13,055 You're the only one who can identify aliens. 6 00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:14,670 I am the Alien Tracker. 7 00:00:15,730 --> 00:00:17,268 I need to tell you something. 8 00:00:17,270 --> 00:00:19,770 Joseph is a Grey alien. 9 00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:22,189 I'm going to go on another date with Joseph. 10 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,880 I'll find out what you need to know, okay? 11 00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:25,818 You and I are gonna save Earth together. 12 00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:39,820 _ 13 00:00:41,570 --> 00:00:44,128 Don't wander too far, honey. It's dark. 14 00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:44,146 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 15 00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:50,819 I can't believe you're friends with an alien. 16 00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,100 How many limbs does he have? 17 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,180 Six, with razor-sharp teeth 18 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,060 - and a black tongue. - Cool. 19 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,661 And he dips his pie in oatmeal. 20 00:01:58,670 --> 00:01:59,670 He's a beast. 21 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,340 Get ready. You're about to meet a real-life extraterrestrial. 22 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,100 What are you doing here? I don't want visitors. 23 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,820 - Um... - And you know that I hate bike lines 24 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,090 in my driveway dirt. 25 00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:17,620 Aliens are always making jokes. 26 00:02:17,630 --> 00:02:18,639 Come on. 27 00:02:21,410 --> 00:02:23,953 I have a joke for you. What has three heads 28 00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:25,813 and has to get out of my house and it's you? 29 00:02:25,820 --> 00:02:29,024 - Us? - Oh, you've heard it. 30 00:02:29,030 --> 00:02:32,277 Wait, where is grumpy headscarf? 31 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,370 - She moved away. - And left you here? 32 00:02:35,380 --> 00:02:38,580 Oh, that's like cutting off the head of a chicken 33 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,870 and watching its dumb little body run into walls. 34 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,160 I don't need Sahar, and I'm not by myself. 35 00:02:44,170 --> 00:02:45,791 I started an alien club. 36 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,793 - Hmm. - This is Mari and Leo. 37 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,628 I have already forgotten your names. 38 00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:50,796 - Mari. - Leo. 39 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,900 We came here so you could turn into an alien 40 00:02:52,910 --> 00:02:55,092 and show them what you really look like. 41 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:57,860 This little shit monkey is bad enough. 42 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,700 I do not want two more idiots chasing me around. 43 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,725 I don't know what you're talking about. 44 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,470 I'm not an alien. 45 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,570 - He's a liar. - You're the liar. 46 00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,691 Max isn't even his real name. 47 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:11,817 It's Giuseppe. 48 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,319 It's okay. My real name is Bishop. 49 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,320 Bishop? 50 00:03:15,330 --> 00:03:17,531 I see why you keep that to yourself. 51 00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:19,080 You leave me no choice. 52 00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:22,890 I have been looking for that taser everywhere! 53 00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:25,140 I should have known this little pecker stole it. 54 00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:27,583 Reveal your true self now, alien. 55 00:03:27,590 --> 00:03:29,020 I want it back. 56 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,920 It heats my coffee in seconds. 57 00:03:30,940 --> 00:03:32,700 But if I take it, they will think I care 58 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,460 and may believe I am an alien. 59 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,133 I will wait. 60 00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:37,310 It is only a matter of time 61 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,678 before this idiot zaps himself. 62 00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:44,349 I knew he wasn't an alien. 63 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,220 We should go. 64 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:58,572 My name is Max, and I'm the new Alien Tracker. 65 00:03:58,580 --> 00:04:00,480 Humans spend their entire lives 66 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,080 believing they are special. 67 00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:04,640 Even after they die, they do everything in their power 68 00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:06,550 to remain special forever... 69 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,999 tombstones, plaques, 70 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,460 old libraries with their names on them. 71 00:04:11,470 --> 00:04:13,860 Not long ago, the smartest minds on Earth 72 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,700 believed the sun revolved around them. 73 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:29,460 The truth is, most humans are not special at all. 74 00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:32,220 Ah. 75 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:43,710 Hello, asshole. You are not special either. 76 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,320 I have Asta on my side, 77 00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:47,663 and together we will find out why you are here. 78 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,860 Littering is a $50 fine. 79 00:04:52,590 --> 00:04:53,840 I know that. 80 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,460 I'm... putting it in my truck. 81 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,180 Oh! 82 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,960 It's not littering if it's liquid. 83 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,520 Now I need to get another coffee. 84 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,106 Joseph is a Grey alien. 85 00:05:14,110 --> 00:05:16,066 You can't go on another date with him. 86 00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:18,780 It's not a date. I just have to sit across from the guy at dinner 87 00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:20,237 and keep him interested in staying. 88 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,447 That sounds like every date I've ever been on. 89 00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:24,575 Just long enough for Harry to search his apartment. 90 00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:27,870 But do you really trust Harry's plan? 91 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:31,220 What was his last plan again, to destroy the Earth? 92 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,020 How'd that work out? Uh, everything's still here. 93 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,100 D'arcy, I promise, you don't have to worry about me, okay? 94 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,420 I'll be fine. 95 00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:39,860 Okay, great, yeah. 96 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:43,860 I... I know you'll be fine because I'm coming with. 97 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,500 I'm gonna be at the counter as backup. 98 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,847 No. No way. 99 00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:48,780 Joseph will recognize you, okay? 100 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:49,960 And then he'll be suspicious. 101 00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:51,460 Look, I didn't even tell my dad. 102 00:05:52,730 --> 00:05:54,354 What if it gets dangerous? 103 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,669 Do you remember when you beat Laura Roberts at double Dutch 104 00:05:56,670 --> 00:05:59,318 and she shoved your head into the sand like an ostrich? 105 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,750 Not really. 106 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,780 Maybe. 107 00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:04,189 That was third grade, though, okay? 108 00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:05,407 I can take care of myself. 109 00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:10,200 Asta, do you prefer a confetti cake 110 00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:12,289 or a red velvet cake? 111 00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:16,200 I think pie, because if you are unable to finish it, 112 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,586 I'll eat it. 113 00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:20,213 I'm gonna regret asking, but why? 114 00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:22,960 Oh, there is a beautiful ritual on my planet 115 00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:27,010 that whenever we send off a volunteer 116 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,848 on a suicide mission, 117 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:32,600 we prepare for them a last meal. 118 00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:34,436 You're not going. 119 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,063 Bye, Harry. 120 00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:37,760 I'll put pie. 121 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,260 I'm gonna be fine. 122 00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:43,612 - I'm gonna be so good. - No, you... 123 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,240 You know, you can trust me. I love you. 124 00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:50,960 Houses in this neighborhood are very desirable. 125 00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:51,990 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 126 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,360 - Oh, that's great. - Oh, yeah. 127 00:06:53,370 --> 00:06:54,539 I know my stuff. 128 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,880 Hey. What's going on? 129 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:58,420 Well, I ran into Judy, and I mentioned 130 00:06:58,430 --> 00:06:59,859 that we were putting the house on the market. 131 00:06:59,860 --> 00:07:02,047 And it turns out that she's a realtor. 132 00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:04,340 Well, not... not fully, not yet. 133 00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:06,480 I just... I keep failing the test. 134 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:09,680 But until I pass, my Aunt Barbara lets me work with the clients 135 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,014 that she doesn't care about. 136 00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:13,640 - Oh. - Wow. 137 00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:16,853 So you're... you're really serious about this? 138 00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:18,700 Yes, I told you. 139 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,732 And Judy's got some really good ideas. 140 00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,870 Yes, I do. Yes, I do. 141 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,000 A-right, this way, folks. 142 00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:27,489 How do you guys feel about animal print? 143 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,560 Zebra? 144 00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:30,367 I mean, obviously, these couches are hideous. 145 00:07:30,370 --> 00:07:32,830 No on that. All this trim is just ugh. 146 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,049 Obviously, you're gonna want to get rid 147 00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:35,330 of the dead meat smell and... 148 00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:36,540 are these real? No. 149 00:07:36,550 --> 00:07:38,375 That's a good thing. It's a teardown, really. 150 00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:41,003 But we'll sell it, and then they'll realize it later. 151 00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:43,005 Do you guys have any signs with cursive on them? 152 00:07:43,010 --> 00:07:45,480 Like... like... like, "Let's go jump in the lake," 153 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,300 you know, or, like, "Great fun." 154 00:07:47,310 --> 00:07:49,220 Light, light, light. You know? 155 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,160 Just open it up, get rid of that, 156 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:52,340 blow all this out, you know? 157 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,807 Make it one big kitchen. 158 00:07:53,810 --> 00:07:56,060 Ooh! A pizza oven right here. 159 00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:57,680 Popcorn machine's actually better. 160 00:07:57,700 --> 00:07:58,860 It draws the eye. 161 00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:00,272 You're gonna want to draw the eye. 162 00:08:01,450 --> 00:08:02,816 Mm-hmm. Not those. 163 00:08:02,820 --> 00:08:05,880 Yeah. You know, I'm just not sure 164 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,480 that it's the right time to sell. 165 00:08:07,490 --> 00:08:10,140 - You know, the market and all. - Oh, no. No, no. 166 00:08:10,150 --> 00:08:12,034 The market's always strong for a murder house. 167 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,744 - Mm. - I'm sorry? 168 00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:16,455 Oh, well, okay. Yeah, technically, murder-suicide. 169 00:08:16,460 --> 00:08:20,280 I don't know about "murder." 170 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,839 I mean, didn't the... didn't the previous owner 171 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,962 just kind of slip and fall? 172 00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:26,680 Yeah, she did. She got shot in the gut, 173 00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:28,380 slipped and fell in her own blood, 174 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,553 and then she got two more to the back execution style. Blam! 175 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:32,679 What? 176 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,380 Blam! 177 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:36,641 - Ben, don't you remember? - Hmm? 178 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,769 You wrote a story about it in first grade. 179 00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:41,600 You drew all the pictures, used up all the red crayons. 180 00:08:41,610 --> 00:08:43,880 Mm, not ringing a bell. 181 00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:44,980 Who got shot? 182 00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:46,760 Some of the brown crayons too, remember, 183 00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:47,989 because the lady shit her pants. 184 00:08:47,990 --> 00:08:49,920 Okay, Max, can you upstairs? 185 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:52,020 I miss all the good stories. 186 00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:53,840 You know, I... 187 00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:56,244 I just think that we should at least maybe talk about it. 188 00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:58,750 Yeah, we did, just now. 189 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,374 I can't live here. Okay. 190 00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:02,940 - So I'll do the listing? - Yes. 191 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,660 And you guys get started on the renovating. 192 00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,060 Oh, you know what, though? 193 00:09:06,070 --> 00:09:07,820 I wouldn't pull up the floorboards, 194 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,540 definitely not the ones in the basement. 195 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:13,136 Unless you guys like skeletons, which some people do. 196 00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:15,290 We can list it on Halloween. 197 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,557 Boo! 198 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,226 Come on. 199 00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:24,669 Maybe we could just burn the house down 200 00:09:24,670 --> 00:09:25,941 with me inside it. 201 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,360 I smell baked goods. 202 00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:36,870 Yeah, the banana bread is for Esther at the lab 203 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,530 to expedite the prints we got from Peter Bach's van, 204 00:09:39,540 --> 00:09:41,580 and the chocolate chip cookies 205 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,458 are for Maureen at the post office 206 00:09:43,460 --> 00:09:45,752 to hurry the prints to Esther at the lab. 207 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,540 And the blueberry muffins? 208 00:09:48,550 --> 00:09:50,090 For Ben. 209 00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:51,550 He likes them. 210 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,263 - And for you. - Yes! 211 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,380 My grandmother's secret recipe. 212 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,644 The day I took it from her drawer, she threw a toaster at my head. 213 00:10:02,650 --> 00:10:06,439 She was tough, but she was also why I went undefeated in dodgeball. 214 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,079 There's six blueberries in one half 215 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,440 and two blueberries in the other. 216 00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:11,152 Was your oven on its side? 217 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,362 No thank you. 218 00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:18,440 Also, Detective Torres called here twice already looking for you. 219 00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:20,495 Let... let's just get to work, okay? 220 00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:23,165 Oh, no. You're not talking. 221 00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:24,207 Are you ghosting her? 222 00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:25,580 Ghosts talk, Deputy. 223 00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:27,400 That's one of the main things ghosts do. 224 00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,359 If somebody has something to say and then they die 225 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,922 before they say it, they turn ghost. 226 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,460 They write on fogged-up mirrors. 227 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,379 They whisper in your ear before you fall asleep at night. 228 00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:36,420 They turn bathwater into blood. 229 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:37,846 Okay? That's communicating. 230 00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:39,040 Okay. 231 00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:41,850 Is there something you're not communicating to Lena? 232 00:10:45,070 --> 00:10:48,040 Get this, right... she planned a trip for us next month, 233 00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:50,275 all expenses paid by her. 234 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,860 First she's paying for dinners. 235 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:53,349 Now she's paying for entire weekends. 236 00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:54,829 What's next? She gonna give me her kidney? 237 00:10:54,830 --> 00:10:56,323 Oh, not this again. 238 00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:57,820 You're right, not this. 239 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,659 Because this conversation, it's over. 240 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:00,880 I'm bringing Ben his muffins 241 00:11:00,890 --> 00:11:02,610 and I'm taking one of Esther's cookies. 242 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,581 Oh, the cookies are for Maureen. 243 00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:06,082 Esther is the banana bread. 244 00:11:06,930 --> 00:11:08,040 I don't care. 245 00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:10,420 At least the chocolate chips are evenly spaced. 246 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,460 _ 247 00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:18,386 Here, Deputy Liv made you some lopsided muffins. 248 00:11:18,390 --> 00:11:20,430 Oh, I love these. 249 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,500 What's this? 250 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,760 You getting a pool? 251 00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,560 Uh, I don't know. 252 00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:27,260 Kate wants to sell the house. 253 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,810 I thought maybe if I put in a pool, she'd want to stay. 254 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:31,240 You can count me out. 255 00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,360 I don't swim in water somebody else is tea-bagging. 256 00:11:33,370 --> 00:11:35,159 I'm pretty sure we'd be wearing bathing suits. 257 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,910 Shit, water don't care. 258 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,179 You wrap a tea bag in a Speedo and you put it in some water, 259 00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:41,459 you still gonna get a cup of tea that tastes like your nuts. 260 00:11:41,460 --> 00:11:44,790 For that, and other reasons, it's not an option. 261 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:45,914 I can't afford it. 262 00:11:46,670 --> 00:11:47,740 Really? 263 00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:51,200 Hmm. 264 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,750 Take off your shoe and sock. 265 00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:55,710 - What? - You heard me. 266 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,349 Go on and make your foot naked. Let's see it. 267 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,720 I'm gonna say no. 268 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,970 Uh... 269 00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:04,060 possible HR violation. 270 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,060 Yeah, that is a pretty foot. 271 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,940 You got yourself a dancer's arch. 272 00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:10,200 Ooh, my, my, my, my, my. 273 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,330 You know what? 274 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,942 I got the answer to your problems. 275 00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:15,860 You come see me after work. 276 00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:17,690 Bring your feet. 277 00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:31,751 My people should not have given up the Earth to the Greys. 278 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:34,790 They are ruthless, 279 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,550 but we have beaten them every time we have faced each other. 280 00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:42,540 I do not need the help of my people 281 00:12:42,550 --> 00:12:44,840 to defeat a single Grey hybrid. 282 00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:47,100 I will be very happy doing it by my... 283 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,850 All right. 284 00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,640 Let's do this. 285 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,060 I know this building. 286 00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:05,410 I applied for an apartment here, but I got turned down. 287 00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:07,162 A Grey alien got in? 288 00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:08,830 This is bullshit. 289 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,458 You stay here. You will be the lookout. 290 00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:12,740 No way. 291 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,252 All these units are newly renovated. 292 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,299 I gotta see which one he got. 293 00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,090 - Hmm. - He probably has a steam shower 294 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,880 I need to take a shit into. 295 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,302 Okay. 296 00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:27,400 Holy shit. Can you fly? 297 00:13:27,420 --> 00:13:30,940 If I could fly, why would I climb? 298 00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:32,687 I mean, seriously. 299 00:13:34,150 --> 00:13:36,483 Well, I can't do either. 300 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:44,574 Grab the rope and pull me up. 301 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,619 Oh, no, I missed. 302 00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,920 Pull me up or I'll put a sign in the bar 303 00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:55,627 that says Harry Vanderspeigle kicks dogs. 304 00:13:55,630 --> 00:13:57,120 I do not. 305 00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,505 Who tells these lies? 306 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,340 Me, you idiot. I just made it up. 307 00:14:01,350 --> 00:14:03,480 - Oh. - And people will believe me 308 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:05,428 because you have a dog-kicking face. 309 00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:07,013 I do not. 310 00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:09,140 Pull me up or I'll make up worse. 311 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,760 I do not have a dog-kicking face. 312 00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:13,770 Throw it. 313 00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:27,909 Wait. What are you doing? 314 00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:32,650 You're right. 315 00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:34,659 Oh, my favorite. 316 00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,080 I'm sorry. 317 00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:40,046 I'm having trouble looking out of my dog-kicking face at you. 318 00:14:40,050 --> 00:14:41,790 Best burgers in town. 319 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,300 - Mmm. - Mmm. 320 00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:48,096 Jesus. 321 00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:50,140 All right, I'll see you tomorrow. 322 00:15:06,460 --> 00:15:07,620 Hmm. 323 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,620 People really pay money for this? 324 00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:15,540 Not if you keep moving. You gotta stay still. 325 00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:17,550 - I'm trying to get the angle right. - I can't. Ow! 326 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:19,259 - Cramp. Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. - Oh, use it. Go with that. 327 00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:21,671 There's a whole section of the website called Crampus. 328 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,700 Oh, God. No. Look, it's just too weird. 329 00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:25,200 I know what you're doing. 330 00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:27,360 You're trying to make it sound dirty. 331 00:15:27,380 --> 00:15:29,300 It's not. It's not dirty. 332 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,140 Now spread your toes for me. 333 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,890 No shame in making money. 334 00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:39,050 I mean, the root of essential living is financial security, 335 00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:40,064 independence. 336 00:15:40,070 --> 00:15:42,900 Hey, a man's gotta take care of himself first and foremost, 337 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,480 even if a woman inserts herself 338 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:45,653 and starts planning trips. 339 00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:48,920 Lena planned an impromptu vacation for the two of us. 340 00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:51,020 And before you say, "So what," 341 00:15:51,030 --> 00:15:52,539 that's not the way it's supposed to be. 342 00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:54,954 I'm supposed to be the one initiating that. 343 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,331 Says who? 344 00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:57,999 Now, that's very close to "So what." 345 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,580 Well, you're talking about roles, 346 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,340 and everyone in a relationship has a role they play, 347 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:03,380 and it works... 348 00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:06,919 as long as one of you doesn't suddenly switch up the roles 349 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,309 after ten years so you have no idea what's happening with her. 350 00:16:09,310 --> 00:16:11,471 Okay, I feel like this is no longer about me. 351 00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:15,540 When I was eight, my teacher had us write down 352 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,850 what we were doing for summer vacation. 353 00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:20,480 I wrote, "Fear." 354 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,524 That's me. That's my thing. 355 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:26,110 Now, suddenly, Kate's afraid of birds, 356 00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:28,440 and that scares me. 357 00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:31,300 I mean, how am I supposed to be the one hiding under the bed 358 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,784 when she's already there? 359 00:16:32,790 --> 00:16:34,619 Well, let me lay a little wisdom on you. 360 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,958 A man's job is to take care of his woman, full stop. 361 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,580 See, me, I'm old-school, right? 362 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:43,780 I like holding doors open. 363 00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:45,100 Do I really want a woman 364 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,790 who's gonna lay her jacket over a puddle 365 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,174 so my pumps don't get wet? 366 00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:49,550 Well, you're not married. 367 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:50,889 If you don't like her, break it off. 368 00:16:50,890 --> 00:16:53,079 I do like her, a lot. 369 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,490 I mean, Lena's an amazing woman. 370 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,840 She's smart. She's beautiful. 371 00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:58,226 She's got great taste in tactical knives. 372 00:16:58,230 --> 00:16:59,852 - Sure. - Independent. 373 00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:03,189 I actually like her independence. I think it's kind of sexy. 374 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,690 Is it too much to ask for, to find an independent woman 375 00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:06,818 who only does what I want? 376 00:17:10,620 --> 00:17:11,680 Wait. 377 00:17:12,540 --> 00:17:14,617 What is this lump in your foot? What is that? 378 00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,619 Oh, it's been there since I was a kid. 379 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:19,280 Really? You might want to get that looked at. 380 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:22,070 If that gets any bigger, that could derail your foot modeling career 381 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,200 before it starts. 382 00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:26,540 There's no section of the website called Lump Foot. 383 00:17:26,550 --> 00:17:29,299 Hey, I saw a light... 384 00:17:30,490 --> 00:17:32,093 on. 385 00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:36,000 She don't know art. 386 00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,200 Ah, yeah. See? 387 00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:40,739 This is why I wanted a place in this building... 388 00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:43,000 brand-new appliances? I'm so pissed. 389 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,239 Would you focus your tiny brain? 390 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,800 Remember why we are here, 391 00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:49,620 to find evidence and get little drawings or notes 392 00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:52,330 or anything out of the ordinary. 393 00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:54,380 I'll tell you what's out of the ordinary... 394 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,860 $600 microwave. 395 00:17:56,870 --> 00:17:59,203 I had no idea aliens were so bougie. 396 00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:00,880 We are not all alike. 397 00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:03,330 That's racist. 398 00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:05,760 You're right. I apologize. 399 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:08,060 How is your breed different? 400 00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:09,870 Ooh, can I say "breed"? 401 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,090 All right, I'm still learning. 402 00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:12,610 We are protectors. 403 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:13,920 The Greys, they... 404 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,557 The Greys, they are just cruel. 405 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,184 They should not even be here. 406 00:18:21,190 --> 00:18:25,480 Their spaghetti bodies and their meatball heads 407 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,440 only allow them to live in the Earth's atmosphere 408 00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:28,810 for a short amount of time. 409 00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:30,568 That's why they created hybrids? 410 00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:34,572 Yes. We have been here for thousands of years. 411 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,574 We belong here. They do not. 412 00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:38,493 See how easy it is to sound racist? 413 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,910 Mm. 414 00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:43,039 Look at this. 415 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,640 Jack's pot! 416 00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:45,820 That's just a pizza box. 417 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:47,750 I don't think it's filled with alien secrets. 418 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,250 Well, maybe it's filled with pizza. 419 00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:51,923 I'm hungry. 420 00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:55,960 Wait, wait. 421 00:18:55,980 --> 00:18:57,240 What if it's a trap? 422 00:18:58,380 --> 00:18:59,860 Hmm... 423 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,100 That was worth the risk. 424 00:19:18,820 --> 00:19:21,660 I was upset our last date got interrupted so quickly. 425 00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:24,414 Yeah, me too. 426 00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:26,749 Could have talked for hours. 427 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,620 I would have liked that. 428 00:19:28,630 --> 00:19:31,546 We never got a chance to talk about your mother. 429 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:34,500 Like I said, she wasn't around. 430 00:19:34,510 --> 00:19:37,240 I lost my mother when I was a kid too, 431 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,262 so I can relate. 432 00:19:39,270 --> 00:19:41,960 What an odd coincidence. 433 00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:45,977 Look at us, just two people with no moms. 434 00:19:48,990 --> 00:19:50,180 Really? 435 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,108 What if it's poisoned? 436 00:19:52,110 --> 00:19:54,485 If it was poisoned, it would have more flavor. 437 00:19:54,490 --> 00:19:56,840 Anthony must have the night off. 438 00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:59,240 It needs pepper flakes. 439 00:20:01,370 --> 00:20:05,330 What idiot puts crushed red pepper over there? 440 00:20:06,210 --> 00:20:08,250 Harry, no! 441 00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:13,750 Ooh! 442 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,120 Oh, no. 443 00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:18,551 The pizza's outside the trap. 444 00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,891 - _ - Oh, good. That's done. 445 00:20:28,150 --> 00:20:29,580 We can drop the act now. 446 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,731 I know that you know that I'm what I am. 447 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,850 Yeah? And what is that? 448 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:35,902 You know. 449 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:39,719 Why don't we both say at the same time 450 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,100 so I know what it is you think I know? 451 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:44,150 Okay, one, two, three. 452 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,953 - Grey alien. - Asshole. 453 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,330 So both. 454 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:52,330 You will tell me everything that you know about Harry. 455 00:20:52,340 --> 00:20:54,003 And why would I do that? 456 00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,380 Because I have him trapped. 457 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:03,930 Stupid cell phone companies. 458 00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:06,960 They shut off my service again just for not paying my bill. 459 00:21:06,970 --> 00:21:08,142 I am done with them. 460 00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:09,393 It's not the phone. 461 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,870 There is a Reticulan Photon Net. 462 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,149 And it... it's a pretty nice one, actually. 463 00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:17,420 Okay, well, if your people are so superior, 464 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:18,690 why don't you just override it? 465 00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:20,880 This is advanced alien technology. 466 00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:23,282 You cannot just override it. 467 00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:28,220 You have to construct a thin, nonconductive plasma deflector 468 00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:31,165 to interfere with the complex magnetic field. 469 00:21:31,170 --> 00:21:32,625 So there's nothing we can do? 470 00:21:32,630 --> 00:21:34,627 We could unplug it. 471 00:21:34,630 --> 00:21:36,840 The magnetic perimeter 472 00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:39,700 only confines the molecular structure for alien life. 473 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,051 Humans can pass right through. 474 00:21:42,060 --> 00:21:44,580 Well, why didn't you just tell me that? 475 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:51,140 God, you said I could walk right through it! 476 00:21:51,150 --> 00:21:53,050 It was 50/50. 477 00:21:58,620 --> 00:22:00,300 ♪ I can't help falling ♪ 478 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,010 Act normal. 479 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,782 I would hate for something to happen to your father. 480 00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:06,659 He makes a great hamburger. 481 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,740 Ow. 482 00:22:09,750 --> 00:22:11,414 I said act normal. 483 00:22:11,420 --> 00:22:12,429 That is normal. 484 00:22:12,430 --> 00:22:14,208 I always kick my dates when they lie to me. 485 00:22:15,820 --> 00:22:17,360 Why don't you make this easy 486 00:22:17,380 --> 00:22:20,298 and tell me why he is still in Patience? 487 00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:21,900 He hasn't told me shit. 488 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,676 And even if he did, I wouldn't tell you. 489 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:24,780 Mm-mm, mm-mm. 490 00:22:24,790 --> 00:22:26,559 Neither of you are in a position to be making rules. 491 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,120 Oh, stop the bullshit. 492 00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:30,520 I know you can't kill him 493 00:22:30,530 --> 00:22:32,852 because it's against the Galactic Charter thingy. 494 00:22:32,860 --> 00:22:36,610 So he has been sharing information. 495 00:22:38,490 --> 00:22:41,780 Well, you got me. I can't kill Harry. 496 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,600 But your friend is fair game. 497 00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:47,260 See, I thought it was just gonna be Harry, 498 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:51,078 but this one is a bonus. 499 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,664 If you hurt her, I will kill you. 500 00:22:58,753 --> 00:23:00,086 Don't do anything stupid, 501 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,173 or people will die, understand? 502 00:23:03,510 --> 00:23:04,660 Hey. 503 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,219 - Hey, I'm Jay. - I'm busy, Jay. 504 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:09,470 Okay. 505 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:14,930 Nice work. 506 00:23:18,010 --> 00:23:20,360 Asta is in trouble. Who is that guy? 507 00:23:20,380 --> 00:23:21,600 The new deputy. 508 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:23,720 He's bad. 509 00:23:24,540 --> 00:23:26,781 - Just go. I got it. - I'm staying. 510 00:23:26,790 --> 00:23:29,659 Jay, you go. I got it. 511 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,010 Fine. 512 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,500 - Hey. - Hey. 513 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:53,580 Hey, sorry. I kept meaning to call you back, 514 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,686 and then the day just got away from me. 515 00:23:57,820 --> 00:23:59,020 Um... 516 00:24:01,660 --> 00:24:02,780 look. 517 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,110 I've been thinking a lot about us. 518 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:08,329 I know that you're not thrilled 519 00:24:08,330 --> 00:24:10,320 about me picking up a check now and then. 520 00:24:10,340 --> 00:24:13,619 And you're clearly not okay with me taking you on a trip. 521 00:24:14,740 --> 00:24:16,860 I like you a lot, 522 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,540 and I want you to be happy, not uncomfortable. 523 00:24:21,550 --> 00:24:25,589 Well, thank you. I appreciate that. 524 00:24:26,700 --> 00:24:29,420 So I think that we should just end this right now. 525 00:24:32,130 --> 00:24:33,220 Oh. 526 00:24:34,220 --> 00:24:36,267 - I see. - Do you? 527 00:24:37,220 --> 00:24:41,900 You are who you are, Mike, but I am who I am. 528 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,860 And when I care about someone, I show it. 529 00:24:46,220 --> 00:24:48,520 I'm not gonna change who I am. 530 00:24:50,700 --> 00:24:52,616 I have to set an example for my son. 531 00:24:52,620 --> 00:24:54,660 No, I... I understand. 532 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,640 I was... I was looking forward to meeting him. 533 00:24:56,660 --> 00:24:59,740 Well, this is why you haven't. 534 00:25:04,590 --> 00:25:06,020 Take care, Mike. 535 00:25:24,860 --> 00:25:26,734 - Hey. - Hey. 536 00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:34,533 So I think we should sell the house. 537 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:36,118 You do? 538 00:25:36,740 --> 00:25:38,240 If you do, yes. 539 00:25:38,250 --> 00:25:39,914 Because I don't. 540 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,499 Oh, thank God. 541 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:42,720 I love this house. 542 00:25:42,740 --> 00:25:45,040 I... I never want to leave. 543 00:25:45,050 --> 00:25:47,630 I don't care if somebody died in it. 544 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,006 - People die. - People die. 545 00:25:49,010 --> 00:25:50,132 I want to die here. 546 00:25:50,140 --> 00:25:51,467 I want to die here with you. 547 00:25:51,470 --> 00:25:53,900 I want to, you know, haunt this place. 548 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,889 You know, chop us up. Bury us underneath the floorboards. 549 00:25:55,890 --> 00:25:58,349 - I don't want that. - No, me neither. Me neither. 550 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:00,851 So then what? 551 00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:02,280 I don't know. 552 00:26:06,350 --> 00:26:07,980 I just don't feel right. 553 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,020 And at first, I thought I didn't feel right here, but... 554 00:26:13,980 --> 00:26:15,366 now I think it's just me. 555 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,620 You know, like... like a part of me is missing or something. 556 00:26:20,630 --> 00:26:21,900 Mm. 557 00:26:22,980 --> 00:26:26,919 Maybe you just need to get out of the house for a little bit. 558 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,960 You know, we can go somewhere. 559 00:26:28,980 --> 00:26:30,256 A vacation? 560 00:26:30,260 --> 00:26:32,258 I haven't been on a trip in a while. 561 00:26:32,260 --> 00:26:34,250 Oh, and we have a long weekend coming up. 562 00:26:34,270 --> 00:26:35,469 We can go somewhere fun. 563 00:26:35,470 --> 00:26:37,680 Oh, my God, I know the perfect place. 564 00:26:37,690 --> 00:26:39,723 Me too: Yellowstone. 565 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:42,226 I was gonna say Paris. 566 00:26:42,230 --> 00:26:43,340 Oh. 567 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:45,187 But yeah, Yellowstone. 568 00:26:48,983 --> 00:26:50,818 Thanks, honey. 569 00:26:53,830 --> 00:26:56,760 Damn it, I told Asta your plan was stupid. 570 00:26:56,780 --> 00:26:58,720 Now I'm trapped in here, no way out, 571 00:26:58,740 --> 00:26:59,940 and Asta's stuck at the diner 572 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:03,410 - with some hybrid alien psychopath. - My plan was stupid. 573 00:27:03,420 --> 00:27:04,456 I am stupid. 574 00:27:05,630 --> 00:27:07,084 I hate myself. 575 00:27:07,090 --> 00:27:08,460 Oh, I didn't say all that. 576 00:27:08,470 --> 00:27:09,837 You should have. I'm worthless. 577 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,960 I failed in my attempt to destroy all of humanity, 578 00:27:12,980 --> 00:27:15,580 and now I'm failing in my attempt to save it. 579 00:27:15,590 --> 00:27:20,590 I am nothing but a big, stupid, human-shaped failure. 580 00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:27,420 Yeah. Well, you know, welcome to the club. 581 00:27:29,260 --> 00:27:30,940 You're a failure too? 582 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:36,560 Yeah, I'm the biggest failure in Olympics history, man. 583 00:27:36,570 --> 00:27:37,573 Oh, right. 584 00:27:37,580 --> 00:27:40,570 You had to eradicate a species. 585 00:27:40,580 --> 00:27:43,220 All I had to do was ski down a hill. 586 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:44,249 Couldn't even get that right. 587 00:27:44,250 --> 00:27:46,650 That's right, and you didn't even make it down the mountain 588 00:27:46,660 --> 00:27:48,000 because you fell. 589 00:27:48,010 --> 00:27:49,010 Right. 590 00:27:49,020 --> 00:27:51,587 Millions of people saw you fail on television. 591 00:27:51,590 --> 00:27:52,700 It's pretty stupid. 592 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:56,590 It seems like it should be easy 'cause skiing's mostly gravity. 593 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,302 Yeah, you know what? You made your point. 594 00:27:58,310 --> 00:28:00,179 Yes, that we are both failures. 595 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:06,859 Yes. 596 00:28:08,690 --> 00:28:12,720 Um, Harry, do you think it's possible 597 00:28:12,740 --> 00:28:15,560 this Grey technology is making us bigger? 598 00:28:15,570 --> 00:28:17,300 - No. - Cool. 599 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:18,840 Then this thing is closing in on us. 600 00:28:19,660 --> 00:28:21,220 Oh, he got the new kind. 601 00:28:28,670 --> 00:28:30,280 You better tell me what you know. 602 00:28:30,300 --> 00:28:31,502 Time is running out. 603 00:28:31,510 --> 00:28:32,920 Okay. 604 00:28:32,930 --> 00:28:34,171 Okay, fine. 605 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:40,980 Harry's real name is... Mork, 606 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:45,557 and he is from a planet called... Ork. 607 00:28:46,180 --> 00:28:48,060 Okay, good. 608 00:28:48,820 --> 00:28:50,145 Was that really so hard? 609 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,148 Mork. 610 00:28:54,340 --> 00:28:55,820 I don't know this planet Ork. 611 00:28:55,830 --> 00:28:56,860 Who does he report to? 612 00:28:56,870 --> 00:28:59,440 A very powerful being. 613 00:28:59,460 --> 00:29:02,241 I think his name is Orson. 614 00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:03,575 - Orson? - Yeah. 615 00:29:03,580 --> 00:29:07,700 Orson. I think I've heard of him. 616 00:29:07,710 --> 00:29:08,820 Mm-hmm. 617 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:12,520 You got to do something. 618 00:29:12,540 --> 00:29:13,540 You're an alien. 619 00:29:13,550 --> 00:29:15,010 I just watched you climb a wall. 620 00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:16,549 Don't you have any other special powers? 621 00:29:16,550 --> 00:29:17,750 Mm. 622 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,670 Even ET could levitate toys and shit. 623 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,468 He is so special. 624 00:29:21,470 --> 00:29:24,190 ET could fly a bicycle. 625 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,240 ET had a flashlight for a finger. 626 00:29:26,260 --> 00:29:28,680 Do you know what it is like to be constantly compared 627 00:29:28,700 --> 00:29:30,930 to that waddling sex doll? 628 00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:34,980 Look, out of all the aliens on your planet, 629 00:29:34,990 --> 00:29:37,940 you're the one who was chosen 630 00:29:37,950 --> 00:29:40,430 to come here and kill everyone on Earth. 631 00:29:40,450 --> 00:29:41,910 They picked you. 632 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:43,782 That makes you special too. So think. 633 00:29:43,790 --> 00:29:45,140 But they didn't pick me. 634 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,180 I volunteered 'cause I knew I could do it. 635 00:29:47,190 --> 00:29:49,121 But I couldn't do it. I failed. 636 00:29:49,130 --> 00:29:50,870 No, you volunteered 637 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,600 because you knew you could do it. 638 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,294 That makes you special. 639 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,900 Yes, and you volunteered to do this. 640 00:29:59,910 --> 00:30:01,550 Does that also make you special? 641 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:04,360 Yeah, I guess it does. 642 00:30:05,980 --> 00:30:07,139 Maybe we're not failures. 643 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,590 Since I was a kid, all I cared about, right, 644 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,979 was being the best skier in the world. 645 00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:16,100 You wanted to kill everyone in the world. 646 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:17,900 - Mm-hmm. - Those are big goals. 647 00:30:17,910 --> 00:30:22,863 And stopping the Greys, that is no small thing either. 648 00:30:22,870 --> 00:30:25,616 We're not stuck in here because we're failures. 649 00:30:25,620 --> 00:30:29,411 We're in here because no one else would even try. 650 00:30:29,420 --> 00:30:33,040 Yes. I'm not a failure. 651 00:30:34,130 --> 00:30:35,959 I am special. 652 00:30:37,490 --> 00:30:39,610 Oh. Oh. 653 00:30:41,220 --> 00:30:43,217 I'm special too, right? 654 00:30:43,860 --> 00:30:45,880 Yes, you are special. 655 00:30:46,810 --> 00:30:49,400 Do I really have a dog-kicking face? 656 00:30:49,420 --> 00:30:51,020 No, no, no. 657 00:30:52,770 --> 00:30:55,740 See? I told you. Alien technology. 658 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:56,940 Thank God. 659 00:30:56,950 --> 00:30:59,775 What are you doing here? Did you follow me? 660 00:30:59,780 --> 00:31:01,760 No, I've been tracking you, 661 00:31:01,780 --> 00:31:03,680 because I'm the Alien Tracker. 662 00:31:03,690 --> 00:31:05,419 How did you get past security? 663 00:31:05,420 --> 00:31:07,533 His fortress is impenetrable. 664 00:31:07,540 --> 00:31:09,076 Door was unlocked. 665 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,119 Son of a bitch. 666 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:11,180 Who cares? 667 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,870 Max, unplug this thing. 668 00:31:15,100 --> 00:31:17,700 I will, if you tell them you're an alien. 669 00:31:18,790 --> 00:31:20,050 Then we are both going to die 670 00:31:20,060 --> 00:31:22,047 - because I am nothing but a dumb human. - Ugh! 671 00:31:22,050 --> 00:31:25,200 Max, unplug this, or when I die, 672 00:31:25,220 --> 00:31:26,860 I will haunt the shit out of you. 673 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,470 I don't care. I like ghosts. 674 00:31:29,300 --> 00:31:32,210 I don't. She's scary even when she's alive. 675 00:31:32,220 --> 00:31:34,560 He's not an alien. I knew Max was a liar. 676 00:31:34,570 --> 00:31:36,228 All right, take it easy, Bishop. 677 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,358 Fine. I am a human. 678 00:31:42,420 --> 00:31:43,652 Obviously. 679 00:31:44,470 --> 00:31:49,500 But the person who lives here is an alien, obviously. 680 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:53,370 And the reason that you were able to track down his lair 681 00:31:53,380 --> 00:31:59,501 is because you, Max, are the Alien Tracker. 682 00:32:04,140 --> 00:32:06,800 - Wow. - Cool. 683 00:32:08,850 --> 00:32:11,960 And this Mindy person, what's her role in all this? 684 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,060 No, no. Damn it. 685 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,190 What's the Grey word for screw-up? 686 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:18,854 Oh, or is it just Joseph? 687 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:20,731 Well, I still have you. 688 00:32:20,740 --> 00:32:24,735 Just smile like nothing's wrong and get up. 689 00:32:24,740 --> 00:32:25,960 We're walking out of here. 690 00:32:29,790 --> 00:32:32,743 Get out. She stays. 691 00:32:32,750 --> 00:32:35,260 You have no idea what you're dealing with. 692 00:32:36,340 --> 00:32:39,583 Oh, no. You're an alien? 693 00:32:41,043 --> 00:32:42,252 You think I give a shit? 694 00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:44,410 You can't swing a dead cat in this town 695 00:32:44,420 --> 00:32:45,750 without hitting an alien. 696 00:32:46,820 --> 00:32:49,080 Double Dutch that, Laura Roberts. 697 00:32:51,310 --> 00:32:54,050 Is she the one that dunked your head in the sand? 698 00:32:54,060 --> 00:32:55,940 What? Uh, I don't know. 699 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,319 Maybe. Can't remember. 700 00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:58,400 Don't worry, folks. 701 00:32:58,420 --> 00:33:00,062 He had too much to drink. 702 00:33:02,530 --> 00:33:08,440 ♪ Here I was wasting all my time ♪ 703 00:33:08,460 --> 00:33:09,620 Hi, sir. 704 00:33:10,820 --> 00:33:12,360 Bad news from the lab. 705 00:33:12,370 --> 00:33:14,826 No hit on the fingerprints. 706 00:33:14,830 --> 00:33:16,820 I really thought we had something this time. 707 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,790 On the bright side, Esther loved my banana bread. 708 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,252 It didn't go so well with Maureen. 709 00:33:23,260 --> 00:33:25,260 Her dog ate the whole plate of cookies, 710 00:33:25,270 --> 00:33:26,964 had to have her stomach pumped. 711 00:33:26,970 --> 00:33:28,757 - But she'll be okay. - Poor dog. 712 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:31,260 No, Maureen had to have her stomach pumped. 713 00:33:31,270 --> 00:33:34,638 Sorry, I... I forgot the part about her OD'ing on Vicodin. 714 00:33:35,550 --> 00:33:37,057 You okay? 715 00:33:37,060 --> 00:33:38,350 If you must know, 716 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:42,437 Lena and I have decided to just be friends. 717 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:43,897 Oh, no. 718 00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:45,482 I said I'm fine, Deputy. 719 00:33:45,490 --> 00:33:49,500 Well, you can't just sit here by yourself being sad. 720 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:50,980 Come to dinner. 721 00:33:50,990 --> 00:33:53,110 I'm making John's favorite. 722 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,325 - What are you having? - Turkey meatloaf. 723 00:33:55,330 --> 00:33:56,535 Hard pass. 724 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:02,400 ♪ Ooh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 725 00:34:02,420 --> 00:34:09,600 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 726 00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:17,598 You're funny when you sleep. 727 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:18,620 This is you. 728 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:26,732 - You didn't tie me up. - Oh, I was going to. 729 00:34:26,740 --> 00:34:29,810 But then I thought, hybrid Greys would be very strong. 730 00:34:29,820 --> 00:34:32,020 You would break your restraints, 731 00:34:32,030 --> 00:34:34,865 and then you would have probably broken my chair. 732 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,120 Then I would have to fight you. 733 00:34:39,140 --> 00:34:41,120 And because I am also strong, 734 00:34:41,140 --> 00:34:43,540 I would throw you across the room. 735 00:34:45,420 --> 00:34:47,870 And then you would break my refrigerator. 736 00:34:50,350 --> 00:34:54,520 And the refrigerator repairman would probably be overly talkative. 737 00:34:54,530 --> 00:34:57,346 Well, my real passion is photography. 738 00:34:57,350 --> 00:34:59,765 I've... I got a film camera, 739 00:34:59,770 --> 00:35:02,400 which is drastically better than digital. 740 00:35:02,410 --> 00:35:05,480 I... I like nature photography. 741 00:35:05,500 --> 00:35:06,960 Do you like nature? 742 00:35:06,970 --> 00:35:08,840 I sometimes go on hikes, 743 00:35:08,850 --> 00:35:11,280 and I shoot the things that I see. 744 00:35:11,300 --> 00:35:13,320 I like the chipmunks. They're really cute. 745 00:35:13,330 --> 00:35:16,270 People seem to like the photos of the chipmunks, you know. 746 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,780 My... my mom really likes the... the chipmunk photos. 747 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:23,163 I have an alternate scenario, if I may. 748 00:35:23,780 --> 00:35:24,910 Go ahead. 749 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,320 We fight. 750 00:35:26,340 --> 00:35:29,020 You're strong, but I am stronger, 751 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,790 and I throw you across the room. 752 00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,680 And then I step on your stupid alien head 753 00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:38,804 and I kill you. 754 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,348 Except I bite you! 755 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,760 But the refrigerator repairman also works for the glass company. 756 00:35:54,780 --> 00:35:58,380 I've shot at all the national parks in Colorado... 757 00:35:59,910 --> 00:36:04,246 Mesa Verde. Rocky Mountain. 758 00:36:04,250 --> 00:36:08,041 Of course, Sand Dunes. Sand Dunes is my favorite. 759 00:36:08,050 --> 00:36:09,470 I only shoot on film. 760 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:10,740 Did I... did I mention that? 761 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:14,960 I find it's drastically better than... than digital. 762 00:36:14,970 --> 00:36:18,020 I do have to develop my own film in my darkroom. 763 00:36:18,030 --> 00:36:20,060 But my mom's just upstairs, 764 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,510 so sometimes, she brings me snacks. 765 00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:27,190 I did go with my mom a few years ago to... to Four Points. 766 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,563 It's where the four states touch. 767 00:36:29,570 --> 00:36:31,398 I took a photo of her there. 768 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:35,360 In every situation, I just end up with a lot of sweeping to do 769 00:36:35,380 --> 00:36:38,320 and learn more than I need to about film photography. 770 00:36:38,330 --> 00:36:42,117 Now, what are the Grey aliens doing here on Earth? 771 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,035 If I told you, you wouldn't understand. 772 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:45,880 I would understand better than you. 773 00:36:45,900 --> 00:36:48,040 You're a hybrid. You are half-human, 774 00:36:48,060 --> 00:36:50,070 which means you're half-stupid. 775 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:54,337 I am two halves not stupid. 776 00:36:54,340 --> 00:36:56,850 Yet neither of your halves knows the Greys' plans, 777 00:36:56,860 --> 00:36:58,250 and my half does. 778 00:36:58,260 --> 00:37:00,552 Not the part about the trees. 779 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,139 It knows all about the trees. 780 00:37:02,140 --> 00:37:04,473 Aha! 781 00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,379 There is no part about the trees. 782 00:37:06,380 --> 00:37:07,880 I made that up. 783 00:37:07,900 --> 00:37:10,729 There's a part. A whole tree thing. 784 00:37:10,730 --> 00:37:12,898 A whole pine and birch scenario. 785 00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:15,317 They have not told you anything, have they? 786 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,985 You are nothing to the Greys. 787 00:37:16,990 --> 00:37:20,030 You're a circus monkey that does tricks for food. 788 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,000 What if I am? What if I don't know anything? 789 00:37:22,020 --> 00:37:24,284 Why are you so happy about it? I was your only hope. 790 00:37:24,290 --> 00:37:27,704 If I don't know anything, your mission has failed. 791 00:37:27,710 --> 00:37:30,290 And so has yours. You have to leave Patience now. 792 00:37:30,300 --> 00:37:31,666 Oh, why is that? 793 00:37:31,670 --> 00:37:34,711 Because I do not like your square face. 794 00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:36,407 And if you do not leave, 795 00:37:36,410 --> 00:37:39,880 I will tell the Greys how many humans know you're an alien. 796 00:37:39,900 --> 00:37:41,250 Three of them are children. 797 00:37:42,420 --> 00:37:44,095 I do not think they will let you live. 798 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,766 I will leave when I want to leave. 799 00:37:47,770 --> 00:37:51,686 Lucky for you, I want to leave right now. 800 00:38:00,620 --> 00:38:02,199 You're leaving because I told you to leave. 801 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,920 Uh, no. I just happen to want to leave so badly 802 00:38:04,930 --> 00:38:06,699 that I don't care about staying just so you don't think 803 00:38:06,700 --> 00:38:08,119 that I'm leaving because you told me to leave. 804 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,039 The only thing I understood in that was "leave." 805 00:38:13,340 --> 00:38:14,459 I'm leaving. 806 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,380 Go ahead. 807 00:38:22,390 --> 00:38:24,469 I do not even care about that one. 808 00:38:28,690 --> 00:38:31,184 It was my favorite. 809 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:47,240 Ugh. 810 00:38:48,820 --> 00:38:50,060 Hello. 811 00:38:51,460 --> 00:38:54,410 Haven't heard from you for a couple of days. 812 00:38:54,420 --> 00:38:55,917 How's everything going? 813 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,680 Oh, I have it all under control. 814 00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:02,020 Too much good to say in one phone call. 815 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,460 You're not gonna tell him about the Darling Project? 816 00:39:14,420 --> 00:39:18,520 That's strictly need to know, and he doesn't. 817 00:39:19,900 --> 00:39:21,100 You can go. 818 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,365 _ 819 00:39:27,370 --> 00:39:30,450 When someone you love is taken away from you, 820 00:39:30,460 --> 00:39:32,080 everything changes. 821 00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:36,760 It is a loss that stays with you forever. 822 00:39:41,430 --> 00:39:43,940 When I came to Earth, I was unique. 823 00:39:43,950 --> 00:39:45,840 I was superior. 824 00:39:45,860 --> 00:39:48,760 But living as a human is making me weaker. 825 00:39:48,780 --> 00:39:51,080 I am not two halves smarter now. 826 00:39:54,790 --> 00:39:57,480 Humans do stupid things all the time. 827 00:40:05,420 --> 00:40:07,400 It is like their national sport. 828 00:40:15,710 --> 00:40:18,500 Joseph is right. I have failed my mission. 829 00:40:18,510 --> 00:40:21,200 I have failed to find out why he's here. 830 00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:24,810 I wasted precious time on him and put Asta in danger. 831 00:40:24,820 --> 00:40:28,468 I am not special. I am a... 832 00:40:29,170 --> 00:40:30,720 Hey, are you busy? 833 00:40:30,730 --> 00:40:33,840 Yes, I'm in the middle of a thought. 834 00:40:33,860 --> 00:40:34,970 Failure. 835 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,480 What do you want? 836 00:40:41,340 --> 00:40:45,150 Well, I was hoping that you could take a look at my foot. 837 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:48,905 No, sorry, I do not have internet foot kink money. 838 00:40:48,910 --> 00:40:51,366 No, no, as a doctor. 839 00:40:51,370 --> 00:40:55,360 See I... see, I have this bump, 840 00:40:55,370 --> 00:40:59,249 and, yeah, it's probably nothing, 841 00:40:59,250 --> 00:41:01,626 but I just want to get it checked out. 842 00:41:01,630 --> 00:41:02,961 Where did you get this? 843 00:41:02,970 --> 00:41:06,339 Oh, I don't know. I've had it since I was a kid. 844 00:41:06,340 --> 00:41:07,590 Oh. 845 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,080 I do know. 846 00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:12,012 This embedded chip means he has been abducted by Greys. 847 00:41:12,020 --> 00:41:14,820 I have been trying to learn what the Greys are doing on Earth, 848 00:41:14,830 --> 00:41:16,360 and perhaps the answer has been 849 00:41:16,370 --> 00:41:19,300 in Mayor Snowflake's foot all along. 850 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,062 I need to hypnotize you. 851 00:41:22,110 --> 00:41:25,859 To determine the origin of this disfiguration. 852 00:41:25,860 --> 00:41:28,361 Can't you just remove it? 853 00:41:28,370 --> 00:41:30,864 Yes, but we're out of anesthetic. 854 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:32,650 Hypnosis is fine. 855 00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,520 Listen only to the sound of my voice. 856 00:41:36,540 --> 00:41:40,360 When you wake up, you will remember nothing of this. 857 00:41:40,380 --> 00:41:42,709 But you will still pay me for the hour. 858 00:41:42,710 --> 00:41:46,010 Now, tell me everything that you remember 859 00:41:46,020 --> 00:41:49,380 from your last abduction. 860 00:41:50,930 --> 00:41:53,094 There was... 861 00:41:54,770 --> 00:41:56,889 a lot of floating. 862 00:41:56,890 --> 00:41:59,976 Floating down a hallway. 863 00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,930 I'm cold. I hate it here. 864 00:42:02,940 --> 00:42:05,065 Oh, God, I feel sick. 865 00:42:05,070 --> 00:42:07,620 Okay. I don't care about... about that. 866 00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,028 Tell me something I can use. 867 00:42:13,460 --> 00:42:14,741 I'm passing a... 868 00:42:17,790 --> 00:42:19,829 I'm passing a doorway. 869 00:42:19,830 --> 00:42:21,372 What's through the doorway? 870 00:42:22,020 --> 00:42:24,619 I don't know. I think there's a... 871 00:42:24,620 --> 00:42:26,790 I think there's a map. 872 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,171 What is on the map? 873 00:42:28,180 --> 00:42:29,280 Mm. 874 00:42:29,300 --> 00:42:32,175 I can't... I can't see it. 875 00:42:32,180 --> 00:42:35,290 I... oh, God, I'm scared. 876 00:42:37,240 --> 00:42:39,557 Please, I... I gotta get out of here. 877 00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,559 I don't want to be here. I want to go home. 878 00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:43,020 I need you to listen to me. 879 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,270 This is important. 880 00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,040 Just tell me what you see. 881 00:42:46,050 --> 00:42:47,560 What do you see? 882 00:42:47,570 --> 00:42:50,193 I need to know what these beings are doing on Earth. 883 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:52,900 There's all these shoes. 884 00:42:56,060 --> 00:42:58,576 There's all these children's shoes. 885 00:42:58,580 --> 00:42:59,980 Oh. 886 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,020 There's... there's something. 887 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,280 It's a... a souvenir maybe? 888 00:43:08,630 --> 00:43:10,755 A snow globe that says... 889 00:43:13,460 --> 00:43:14,801 Yellowstone. 890 00:43:14,810 --> 00:43:16,140 Yellowstone? 891 00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:20,470 Yes. 892 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,600 When I snap my fingers, 893 00:43:22,610 --> 00:43:25,687 you will wake up and you will remember nothing. 894 00:43:25,690 --> 00:43:30,969 In three, two, one. 895 00:43:30,970 --> 00:43:35,321 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 59880

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