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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,631 [marching band plays] 2 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:12,137 [male announcer] Gomer Pyle, USMC. 3 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:17,726 Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle. 4 00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,773 Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter. 5 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:37,162 [explosion] 6 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,082 Not bad, Adams, but you still gotta get rid of it faster. 7 00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,833 All right, Pyle, you're next! 8 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:45,003 Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go! 9 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,548 Come on, Pyle, let's move. Now, let's show a little hustle. 10 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,884 Last time, you threw like the second string pitcher on a girls' softball team. 11 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,469 All right, let's go! 12 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:58,016 Hit the deck! Hit the deck! 13 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,728 [explosion] 14 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,480 You all right, Pyle? 15 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,524 Well, yes, sir, I think so. 16 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:08,110 - Are you sure? - Well, yes, sir, I'm fine. 17 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:12,322 Good. You lamebrain! How long have you been in the Marine Corps?! 18 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,491 Can't you do anything without fouling up?! 19 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,827 Sorry, Sergeant. I guess I was just trying too hard. 20 00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,037 Sure, sure, you always try too hard. 21 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,164 You could have gotten yourself killed! 22 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,916 All right, you people, take a break! 23 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,381 Well, what are you standing there for? I said take a break! 24 00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:30,966 What are you staring at? 25 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,261 It just hit me, Sergeant. 26 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,346 You just saved my life. 27 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,515 Yeah. 28 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:41,143 Well, that's what you done, Sergeant. You just saved my life. 29 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:44,146 All right, I saved your life. We all make mistakes. 30 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:46,106 With no thought of your own safety, 31 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,442 you got rid of that grenade, and then you protected me. 32 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,236 Oh, it's part of my job, Pyle. I always stand in the line 33 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,655 just in case something goes wrong. Now forget it! 34 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:57,784 Well, I'll never forget it, Sergeant. Never. Not for the rest of my life. 35 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,580 I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart. 36 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,999 Okay. 37 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,960 On top of everything else you've done for me in the Marine Corps, 38 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,296 now I owe you my life, my very life. 39 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,757 All right, Pyle, don't make a federal case out of it! 40 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,760 But you're a hero, Sergeant. I'll never be able to repay you. 41 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,846 Don't worry about it! All right, you people, fall in! 42 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,807 [Carter] We're moving out to the rifle range. Come on, move, move, move! 43 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,311 - That includes you, too, Pyle. - Yes, sir! 44 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,209 - [gasps] - Good morning, good morning, good morning! 45 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:50,462 - Pyle, what do you want? - I've brought you your Sunday breakfast. 46 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,130 - Hmm? - I sure hope you enjoy it. 47 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,258 - Here, let me sit you up a little bit. - What is this? Are you out of your mind? 48 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:58,553 - I never have breakfast in bed. - Well, you're going to this morning. 49 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:01,473 Nothing's too good for the man that saved my life. 50 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,977 - What's that? - Basted eggs with parsley. 51 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,896 - Pyle, listen, I... - It'll go real good 52 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,482 - with the Canadian bacon and the waffles. - Pyle! 53 00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:13,985 It was nice of you to bring me breakfast, but I ain't hungry. 54 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,821 I'm sleepy, that's what I am. 55 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:18,073 It's Sunday morning and I like my sleep. Do you mind? 56 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:22,577 Why, sure, Sergeant. I'll just put this over here so when you wake up... 57 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,831 - Yeah, yeah, just go. - Right, Sergeant. Bye! 58 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,798 [sniffs] 59 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,393 [sniffs] 60 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:05,203 What's the matter? Ain't you ever seen a guy have breakfast in bed before? 61 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:08,373 Yeah, Cary Grant on The Late Show. He was a millionaire and he had a butler. 62 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,501 - I didn't send for this, Pyle brought it. - What's the occasion? 63 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,045 - No occasion. He's just being grateful. - Huh? 64 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,631 The knucklehead dropped a grenade during practice yesterday 65 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,508 and I had to pick it up and get rid of it. 66 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,386 And now I'm a big hero to him, so he's showing his gratitude. 67 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,013 Oh, sure, you saved his life. 68 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,474 Well, the quicker he forgets it, the better I'll like it. 69 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:28,643 - Here, take this, will you? - What do you want me to do with it? 70 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,353 - Frame it! - Huh? 71 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,689 - Just take it back to Pyle. - Okay, Sarge. 72 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,069 - My clothes! - [Duke] Huh? 73 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:41,531 - Where are my clothes? - Gee, Sarge, I don't know. 74 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:44,785 Is this some kind of gag, Slater? Because if it is, it ain't funny. 75 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,329 - Sarge, I didn't touch your clothes. - [door opens] 76 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:51,500 Oh, you're up, Sergeant! I was just bringing your uniforms back. 77 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,252 - All freshly laundered and pressed. - Huh? 78 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:57,214 I had a little trouble getting spaghetti stains out of one of your shirts, 79 00:04:57,214 --> 00:05:00,550 but I added a little extra soap and some elbow grease and out they came. 80 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,428 You cleaned all of my uniforms? When did you have time? 81 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,347 Oh, before I got your breakfast. 82 00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:08,183 It was 6 o'clock this morning and I kind of tiptoed in here and got them. 83 00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,602 Pyle, you didn't have to do that. 84 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:13,480 [Gomer] Oh, but I wanted to, Sergeant. It's the least I could do. 85 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,816 Hey, Duke, did you hear about the Sergeant saving my life? 86 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:19,736 - Yeah, Gomer. Here's your tray. - There I was, lying helpless on the ground 87 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,906 with a live grenade ticking away not more than a few feet from me... 88 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,699 Pyle, knock it off. Just go. 89 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,285 Yes, sir. Oh, would you hold this a minute, Duke? 90 00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:31,706 I'll have these back for you and shined in just a jiffy. 91 00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,542 I'll take that now, Duke. 92 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:39,840 Oh, Sergeant, you're in good shape with your shorts and your T-shirts. 93 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,342 They're all washed and back in your footlocker. 94 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,636 This is ridiculous! 95 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:47,138 That's all I need, a personal valet! 96 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,724 [sniffs] 97 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,768 Hey, this smells funny. 98 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,228 [sniffs] 99 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:56,398 Smells like it's been washed in soap that has one of those lilac fresheners. 100 00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,569 Boy, what you gotta go through when you save a guy's life. 101 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,031 Well, Sarge, how about some bowling tonight? 102 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,409 No, I got a date with Bunny. I'm taking her to a movie. 103 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:11,413 - What are you gonna see? - Something called Flame of the South Seas. 104 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:13,206 I hear that's the worse picture of the year. 105 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,625 Who's gonna look? When Bunny and me get started, 106 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,961 the actors on the screen are gonna be looking at us. 107 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,922 - That's one way to keep the popcorn warm. - Yeah, you can say that again. 108 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:24,092 I think I'll go over to the rec hall and see what's happening. I'll see you later. 109 00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,095 [sighs] 110 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,808 - Pyle! - Oh, hey, Sergeant. 111 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,102 I'm just about through here. 112 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,104 Would you look at that gloss there. 113 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:39,274 Looks like one of them Saturday night specials at a used car lot. 114 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,569 Look, Pyle, you didn't have to do this. You've done enough already. 115 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,322 Oh, I can never do enough for the man that saved my life. 116 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,574 Well, there you are. 117 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,620 I did the inside, too, Sergeant. 118 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,747 I swept the floor and emptied the ashtrays, 119 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,916 even polished the buckles for your seat belts. 120 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:59,544 All that wasn't necessary, you know? You've thanked me enough, so forget it! 121 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:02,005 Oh, I don't think I could ever do that, Sergeant. 122 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,174 What you done for me is something I'll never forget. 123 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:07,594 Look, I gotta get going or I'll miss the price change at the Bijou. 124 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,013 Are you gonna go see Flame of the South Seas? 125 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,974 Yeah. Bunny wants to see it. 126 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:16,645 Well, it's a good thing I waxed your car. You two have fun, you hear? 127 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:19,356 - And give Miss Bunny my regards. - Yeah, yeah. 128 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,819 - Bye, Sergeant. - Goodbye, goodbye. [laughs] 129 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:28,406 - [Gomer] Sergeant! Sergeant! - [brakes screech] 130 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:31,284 I forgot to tell you. I also adjusted your brakes. 131 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,332 [engine revs loudly] 132 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:40,543 [dramatic instrumental movie music plays] 133 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:44,631 Flame of the South Seas! I still don't know why you picked this picture. 134 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,884 I heard it's a good movie. Slater personally recommended it. 135 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,261 Well, when are we ever gonna see a first run movie? 136 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:54,349 We always manage to see pictures about ten minutes before they reach television. 137 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:56,893 - Right over there. - Oh. 138 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,520 Excuse me. 139 00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,525 Look, Bunny, the picture ain't important. 140 00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,735 It's the company that counts, right? 141 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:10,156 - Okay, Casanova. - [both laugh] 142 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,872 Excuse me. 143 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:27,882 Well, for goodness sakes, look who's here! If this ain't a surprise! 144 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,969 - Why, Gomer! - Hey, Miss Bunny, Sergeant Carter. 145 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,596 Pyle, what are you doing here? 146 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:36,850 Well, I tried to get in over at the Rivoli for that first run movie, 147 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,561 but the line was too long, so I had to settle for this. 148 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,188 - [Carter sighs] - Oh, you don't have any popcorn. 149 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,607 - Let me go get you some popcorn. - Never mind, Pyle. 150 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:47,027 It's the least I can do for the man that saved my life 151 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,112 is buy him and his girl some popcorn. 152 00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:52,323 - You saved his life?! - I couldn't help it. 153 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,492 He's a hero, Miss Bunny, a real hero. 154 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,704 I'm surprised he hasn't told you about it yet. There I was, stretched out... 155 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,664 - [man] Shh! - Shh! 156 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,417 I'll tell you about it after the show. I'll go get your popcorn now. 157 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,210 Okay. Huh? 158 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,674 Come on, let's get out of here before he gets back. 159 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,469 Vince, we can't. He's getting us some popcorn. 160 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,554 I ain't gonna have that dummy sitting behind us 161 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,932 - during the whole picture. Now come on. - Well, what about the movie? 162 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,561 Forget it. Slater says it's the worst picture of the year. 163 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,980 I thought he personally recommended it. 164 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,107 - Well, what does he know? He's no critic! - [man] Shh! 165 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,777 Aw, shush yourself! Come on, let's get out of here. 166 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,404 - Vince, that isn't nice. - Now, come on! 167 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,657 [Bunny sighs] 168 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,787 Here you go. Miss Bunny, there's popcorn. 169 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:41,206 - Oh, thanks. - Sergeant. 170 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:44,209 I also bought you some soda pop to wash it all down with. 171 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,252 - The cola's for you, Miss Bunny. - Oh, thanks. 172 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,296 And I remembered you like root beer, Sergeant. 173 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,548 There you go. 174 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,759 I bought you a chocolate bar for a little later on. 175 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,512 - Oh, thanks, Gomer. - There you go, Sergeant. 176 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,473 Enjoy yourselves, folks. 177 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:08,817 Pyle, do you have to sit behind us during the entire picture? 178 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:13,321 Well, no, Sergeant. I guess I don't have to. Thank you. 179 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,203 Got everything you need now, folks? 180 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,000 - That's wonderful. - And then, quick as a fox, 181 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,712 he reached down and got the grenade and flung it out of the way just in time. 182 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,381 Just think, if he hadn't been so brave, 183 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,800 I wouldn't be standing here talking to you right now. 184 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,886 Oh, Vince! I'm so proud of you! 185 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:42,225 So am I. Whatever pleasure I get out of life from now on I owe to Sergeant Carter. 186 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,894 And someday, I'm gonna get married and have children. 187 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:48,148 If I have a son, I'm gonna name him after you, Vincent. 188 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,234 Yes, sir, Norman Vincent Pyle! 189 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,904 - I'm honored, Pyle. - [Gomer] Well, if it wasn't for you, 190 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,657 it wouldn't be possible. I'm grateful, grateful, grateful! 191 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,201 - Good night, Pyle. - Good night, Sergeant, Miss Bunny. 192 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,580 - I enjoyed seeing the movie with you. - Oh, us, too. Good night, Gomer. 193 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,374 Grateful, grateful, grateful. 194 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,334 He certainly does worship you. 195 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,003 Yeah, yeah. 196 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,006 Look, it's still a little early. How about a drive to the beach? 197 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,300 Maybe we can have a little privacy for a change. 198 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,219 - Oh, I don't think so, Vince. - Huh? 199 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:20,930 Well, I don't know whether it was that popcorn and stuff 200 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:24,392 that Gomer bought at the theatre or what, but I don't feel so hot. 201 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:28,730 - You'd better take me home. - But we ain't had a chance to be alone! 202 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:32,358 Well, some other time, huh? I'm just not with it tonight. 203 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,028 - Okay. Pyle and his refreshments. - [engine starts] 204 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,780 Well, he was just trying to be nice. You heard what he said. He's... 205 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,533 Yeah, grateful, grateful, grateful. 206 00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:45,496 [mutters] Pyle and his stupid popcorn... 207 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,261 [Gomer] Dear Sergeant Carter. 208 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,806 I thought you might be hungry, so I left you some milk and cookies 209 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,683 for a bedtime snack. 210 00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:13,399 I also left you a surprise under the covers at the foot of the bed. 211 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:26,454 I hope it keeps you comfy cozy during the chilly night. 212 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,540 I want you to know that I'm gonna keep right on doing nice things 213 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:33,836 for the nice man who saved my life forever and ever and ever. 214 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,684 And when I got up this morning, I found out he washed my shirts again! 215 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,520 I tell you, Slater, I'm getting sick of the smell of lilac! 216 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:54,107 Don't knock it. I wish I had somebody washing my uniforms and waiting on me. 217 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,234 Yeah, but if it was anyone else but Pyle. 218 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,736 You don't know what it's like to open your eyes in the morning 219 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:02,073 and the first thing you see is that big, stupid grin! 220 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,450 You save a guy's life, you gotta expect him to be grateful. 221 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:08,162 - Say that word again and I'll belt you! - Sarge, you're becoming a nervous wreck! 222 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,331 What do you mean becoming? I am a nervous wreck! 223 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,626 He's like a ghost haunting me wherever I go. I can't take it anymore! 224 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,254 [Gomer] Hey, Sergeant! Look what I brought you. 225 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,089 A nice bunch of freshly picked apples. 226 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,550 Pyle, I told you, you've done enough already. 227 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,635 Oh, I just couldn't resist it, Sergeant. 228 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,179 You know that old apple tree down by the firing range? 229 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,223 I was walking past it this morning and I looked up 230 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,642 and there they was, ripe and ready. And I said to myself, 231 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,978 "Wouldn't they look nice on Sergeant's desk?" 232 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,897 And before I knew what was happening, I was up in that tree picking 'em. 233 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:40,611 - Huh? Huh? - You got a real problem there, Sarge. 234 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:43,239 - Saving a guy's life is pretty big. - He's driving me nuts! 235 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,491 Well, Gomer's just trying to show you his gratitude. 236 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,660 So he's grateful. When's it gonna stop? 237 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,663 Probably never. Knowing Gomer, he'll keep on going as long as he figures 238 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,832 - he owes you something. - Yeah. 239 00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:59,589 - But supposing he stopped owing me. - Huh? 240 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:04,135 What if Pyle saved my life? Then we'd be even, right? 241 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:08,181 Yeah, but how's he gonna save your life? Things like that don't happen every day. 242 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,891 - I'll make it happen. - How? 243 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:13,186 Let's see, Pyle ain't too bright, so it's got to be pretty simple. 244 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,146 - What? - The set-up. 245 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,357 Yeah, and you're gonna help me. 246 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,318 I'll be standing out back talking to Pyle, 247 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,820 you'll come bearing down on me in a Jeep. 248 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,864 Pyle will see me about to get run over, 249 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,159 he'll reach out and pull me out of the way, and we'll be even. 250 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,174 Pyle, what are you doing? 251 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,510 Well, I'm spreading these pebbles like you told me to. 252 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,554 Pyle, don't you realize that this is a road? 253 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:54,352 When raking pebbles, you always stand to the side, like this. 254 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:57,313 You never stand out in the middle of a road. 255 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,983 [engine stalls] 256 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,319 You could get hit by a car or a... 257 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:07,448 - [engine splutters] - ...a truck or a... Jeep. 258 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,702 I never thought of it that way. I could've been killed. 259 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,995 Yeah. 260 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,290 Just a second, Pyle. 261 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,793 - Why don't you get that spot over there? - Yes, sir. 262 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,671 [Jeep engine splutters] 263 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:29,262 - Slater, what's the matter with you?! - Sorry, Sarge, it just won't start! 264 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,305 Hmm? Let me in there. 265 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,683 - Hit it! - [engine starts] 266 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,727 Now pay attention this time! 267 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,398 [engine revs] 268 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,408 - Pyle! - Yes, sir? 269 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:53,870 - You come here when I'm talking to you! - Yes, sir! 270 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:57,165 - Yes, Sergeant? - Look at that! 271 00:15:57,165 --> 00:16:00,209 You call that level? There's a bald spot there! 272 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,837 You're right, Sergeant. I'll get some more pebbles. 273 00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,089 [tires screeching] 274 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,133 [Carter grunts] 275 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,760 You stupid idiot! You almost killed me! 276 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,681 Sergeant, are you all right? 277 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,308 Yeah, yeah. 278 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,812 Whoever that was was sure driving fast. You could've been killed. 279 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:23,357 - I'm all right. - Just look at your uniform. 280 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:25,860 And I just cleaned it yesterday. But don't worry. 281 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,737 I'll clean it again tonight, Sergeant. 282 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:30,865 There's plenty of time right after I finish darning your socks. 283 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,910 [groans] 284 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,121 - Sarge, you've gotta be kidding! - I'm desperate! 285 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:40,500 Look, as soon as he passes by and hears me yelling for help down there, 286 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,793 he's gotta save me, right? All he's got to do is pull me up. 287 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,505 But ain't it a little dangerous? Who knows how deep it is down there? 288 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:49,008 It's an old, abandoned well. It can't be more than three or four feet of water. 289 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,261 - Besides, I'll hang onto the rope anyway. - You're sure he's coming by this way? 290 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,764 That's why I sent him on that ammo detail. 291 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:58,976 The only way back is right along beside this well here. It's foolproof! 292 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,312 Now, look, you go down and get behind them bushes. 293 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:04,190 As soon as you see him coming, you give me the BIRDCALL whistle. 294 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,776 This is more involved than the attack plan of the Dirty Dozen. 295 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:09,403 Never mind! He ought to be here any minute, now get going. 296 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,781 - And this time, pay attention! - Right, Sarge. 297 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,956 [bird sings] 298 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,876 No, no, wait, Sarge! That was a real bird! 299 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,799 - I'll give a signal with a handkerchief. - Okay, okay. 300 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,774 [jet engines roar] 301 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,402 [Carter] Help! Somebody help me! 302 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,905 [jet engines roar] 303 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,125 [Carter] Help! Somebody help me! 304 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,419 [Carter] Help! Help! 305 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,213 [Carter] Help! Somebody help me! 306 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,507 [Carter] Help! Help! 307 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,427 I guess he didn't hear you, Sarge! Those jets! 308 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,471 What are you doing in the water? I thought you were gonna hold onto the rope. 309 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,849 [Carter] It was slippery! Get me out of here! 310 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:25,605 [cranking] 311 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,940 [Carter] Hurry up, Slater! What are you doing up there?! 312 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,943 Going as fast as I can, Sarge! 313 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,237 [Carter] Come on, Slater, get me out of here! 314 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,530 Hang on, Sarge! 315 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,699 [cranking] 316 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,413 Knock it off! 317 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,585 Get me off of here! 318 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,671 - [sneezes] - Bless you. 319 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,342 Thanks. That stupid Pyle! 320 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,427 He don't even know how to save a guy's life! 321 00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:58,471 Forget it, Sarge. You're gonna get yourself hurt. 322 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,598 I can't forget it. He ain't letting up. 323 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,725 Do you know what he just asked Hacker? 324 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:07,104 If he could use the mess hall stove to bake me some brownies! 325 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,357 The whole base is beginning to talk! 326 00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:11,817 And the Colonel's starting to smell my shirts. 327 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,570 - You're just gonna have to live with it. - Oh, no, I ain't. 328 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:18,324 I gotta even the score, Slater. I gotta even the score! 329 00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:33,381 [gas hisses] 330 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,427 Sergeant? 331 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,138 Sergeant? Sergeant Carter?! 332 00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,182 Sergeant? Sergeant! 333 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,519 Wake up! Sergeant! 334 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,077 [Gomer grunts] 335 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,248 [gas hisses] 336 00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,554 [Gomer coughs] 337 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,236 [hissing stops] 338 00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:46,078 Will you... 339 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,559 Sarge, what went wrong? He was supposed to carry you out! 340 00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:11,395 Sure! But the dummy passed out on me. 341 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,481 I had to save his life! 342 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,776 - I did it again. - Boy, are you in trouble. 343 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,779 - Now the score is two to nothing. - Yeah. 344 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,990 - [Gomer coughs] - He's starting to come to. 345 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,618 When he remembers I saved his life again... 346 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,704 - Start pumping, Slater. - Right. 347 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,999 [Gomer coughs] 348 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,085 Not him, dummy! Me! Me! 349 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,129 - What? - I'm passed out! Get it? 350 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,340 - Oh! - Pump, Slater, pump! 351 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,885 [Gomer coughs] 352 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:46,764 What happened? How did I get out here? 353 00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:50,142 - Is the sergeant all right? - I'm working on him, Gomer. 354 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:53,270 Well, I tried to save him, but the last I remember is I fell down 355 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:55,064 and it seems I passed out. 356 00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:57,525 [Carter coughs] 357 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,986 - Hey, he's gonna be all right! - Oh, thank goodness. 358 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:03,072 [coughs] What happened? 359 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,741 Where am I? 360 00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:09,829 The last I remember, someone was pulling me to safety. 361 00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:13,582 Pyle! It must have been you! 362 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:17,545 - You saved my life! - Well, how could I, Sergeant? 363 00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:20,047 - I blacked out! - How? 364 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,299 You did it on pure instinct, 365 00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:25,594 with the last ounce of your remaining strength. 366 00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:29,473 Slater, will you stop? I'm trying to congratulate Pyle! 367 00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:31,475 Congratulations, Pyle. 368 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:35,020 But... you mean I really did all those things? 369 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,107 With no thought of your own personal safety, 370 00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,150 practically passed out yourself, 371 00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:43,070 you drug me out of danger. 372 00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,114 - Really? - I guess we never know 373 00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:47,157 what we've got in us until there's a crisis, huh? 374 00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:52,162 - I guess not. - All I can say, Pyle, is thanks. 375 00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:55,332 I'll never forget you for this. 376 00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:59,336 Hey! You know what just occurred to me? 377 00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:03,007 I saved your life and you saved mine. 378 00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:06,468 You know what that makes us? Even! 379 00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:09,972 I suppose so, Sergeant, but I'm still kind of fuzzy on how I done it. 380 00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,725 Isn't that just like him, Slater? 381 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,852 Not only brave, but modest. 382 00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:18,022 He saves a life and he doesn't even remember it. 383 00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:20,983 Humble, that's the word, humble. 384 00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:23,611 With a heart that big. 385 00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:25,779 Let's hear it for a hero. 386 00:23:25,779 --> 00:23:27,907 [both clap] 387 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,542 [hammering] 388 00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:40,419 You got that vent fixed yet, Peters? 389 00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,463 Be ready in about another ten minutes, Sergeant. 390 00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:45,049 - Okay. - [Gomer] Hey, Sergeant! 391 00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:48,552 I've got some free time. Is there anything you want me to do for you? 392 00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:50,679 Launder your clothes or spruce up the duty hut? 393 00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:53,974 Hey, maybe we can make this button day and I can tighten up all them loose buttons. 394 00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:57,394 Pyle, you don't have to do that anymore. We're even, remember? 395 00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:59,355 Well, I know, Sergeant, but I still like to do... 396 00:23:59,355 --> 00:24:01,357 Look, Pyle, you don't owe me a thing. 397 00:24:01,357 --> 00:24:04,944 I saved your life, now you saved mine, so let's forget all about it. 398 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:07,071 I suppose so, Sergeant. I guess we are even. 399 00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:09,782 Look out, Pyle! 400 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:12,409 Sorry, Sergeant, it just slipped! 401 00:24:12,409 --> 00:24:15,245 You ought to be more careful! You could've gotten Pyle killed! 402 00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:17,247 - That's right. - No! 403 00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:20,751 I mean, that ain't true. It didn't drop anywhere near you! 404 00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:23,629 But it did, Sergeant. If you hadn't pulled me out of the way... 405 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,383 - You saved my life again! - No, I didn't. 406 00:24:27,383 --> 00:24:31,220 - It dropped a good five yards from you. - But that's not true, Sergeant, 407 00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:33,097 it was about to land right on top of me. 408 00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:35,975 Appears I owe you a debt of gratitude once again, Sergeant. 409 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:38,227 No, you don't, Pyle! You don't owe me anything. 410 00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:40,604 - I owe you everything, Sergeant. - No, Pyle, no! 411 00:24:40,604 --> 00:24:42,272 Grateful is what I am. 412 00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:44,692 - Grateful, grateful, grateful! - No! No! No! 34820

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