All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S04E13 Friendly Freddy Strikes Again 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

[indistinct remark]

Good afternoon, sir. May I help you?

You sure can.

I had in mind getting a present
for this young lady I know.

Tomorrow will be a whole full year
since we met.

And I thought it might be nice
to sort of remember the date.

Just what did you have in mind?

Well, I thought a friendship ring
might be nice.

And maybe we could inscribe
some initials on it, GP to LAP.

That's Lou-Ann Poovie. That's her name.

And in case you're interested,
the GP stands for Gomer Pyle. That's me.

Yes, well,
if you'll step over this way, sir.

Have a seat.

I think we can help you.

Now... suppose we start off
with one of these.

Ooh-ooh!

That's the prettiest thing I ever did see.

Golly, I don't know how I'm ever gonna
be able to choose the right one.

Then, might I suggest...

Now, this has a classic simplicity.

And it's suitable for all occasions.

Oh, Shazam.

If that don't take a fella's breath away.

How much is it?

Only five-fifty, plus tax of course.

Five-fifty?

I don't know.

Of course, it's only a token.

But I wouldn't want Lou-Ann
to think I was cheap.

Do you have anything
a little more expensive?

Oh, well, yes, certainly.

Now, let me see...

Oh...

...how about this one?

It's an exquisite import from Italy.

And it's only seven-fifty.

Seven-fifty?

I'll take it.

Splendid.

Oh... you're paying cash, sir?

Yes, sir. I always do.

Here you go.

But it's $10.

That's right. Seven-fifty, plus tax.

That should cover it, shouldn't it?

Seven-fifty means $750.

Mercy!

The only thing we have here for $7.50
is one of our calendars.

Well, $750 is...

...just a little bit more
than I wanted to spend.

If it wouldn't hurt your feelings, sir,

would you mind
if I looked round somewheres else?

Oh, not at all, sir.

Well, that's very kind of you.

I know how terrible you must feel
losing a customer.

Oh, don't mention it.

Well, goodbye,
and if I ever need a calendar,

I'll come back.

And I'll be sure and ask for you.

Seven hundred and fifty dollars?

Hey, you, Marine.

- You speaking to me?
- Yeah.

Don't tell me. I'm telling you.

You didn't find
what you want in there, right?

Golly, how'd you know?

Simple. Everything in there is overpriced.

So I want you to listen to something.

Know what that is?

You're knocking on the hood.

Wrong. That's not me knocking.
That's opportunity.

I think I know you.

- Huh?
- Of course.

You're Friendly Freddy. I remember.
I'm Gomer Pyle.

You remember me?
We've done business before.

We have? Nice talking to you, fella.
See you around.

Don't you remember?
You sold me a wristwatch.

Well, I'm sorry. I'm only the middleman.

Take your complaint
to the manufacturer, Lyle.

It's Pyle. And I'm not complaining.

It was pretty good watch while it lasted.
And besides, it wasn't a total loss.

- It wasn't?
- No.

I'm still using the written guarantee
as a bookmark.

Good thinking, Homer.

- It's Gomer.
- Yeah, Gomer.

Tell me, Gomer,
what were you doing in Fairchild's?

Well, I was looking to buy a friendship
ring for my girl, Lou-Ann Poovie.

Did you say friendship ring?

Well, yeah. Why?

Is that a coincidence?
That's how I got my name, Friendly Freddy,

the friendship ring specialist.

Come over here, man.
I want to show you something.

Just step into my showroom, huh?

Yeah. Look at this.

Anything your little heart desires.

Radios, clocks, perfumes.

Here.

Here's an imported perfume.
The whole quart for only $4.

Well, I was only interested
in friendship rings.

That's right. Friendship rings.

Friendship rings...

Here we are.

Genuine pearl
in a white gold handmade setting.

Notice I didn't say cultured.
I said genuine pearl.

Golly.

That must really be expensive.

In there it's expensive.

You know why?

Plush carpets,
fancy fixtures, astronomical rent.

That all adds up.
Now, you take me, on the other hand.

I just put a dime in the meter
and I'm set for the day,

which is why I can let you have this ring
at a considerable reduction.

I don't care what the reduction is.

I'm still sure I can't afford it.

Believe me, Pyle, you can afford it.

Why, guess how little it'll cost you.
Just guess.

I'm afraid to guess,
'cause if it's more than $12...

Good guess.

You mean, I can get
a real genuine pearl ring for $12?

Okay, okay. Don't take my word for it.

Take it into that fancy store.
Let them tell you. I'll wait right here.

I mean, if there's any question
about my honesty...

Oh, well, it's not that,
Mr. Freddy, believe me.

It's just that I know
nobody can make a living

selling a genuine real pearl ring for $12.

Believe me, Pyle,
I can make a living doing it.

And just to show you
my heart's in the right place,

I'll take this used floor sample back

and let you have
this brand-new identical ring

at no increase in price.

Go-o-o-Olly!

Well, I don't know how I'll ever
be able to thank you, Mr. Freddy.

Oh, you... you just did, Pyle.

Pyle, if you still want that perfume

for your girl for Christmas,
I'll hold it for you. It'll keep.

It'll keep.

Oh, you shouldn't have.
You absolutely shouldn't have.

It's the first time in my life

I've ever gotten a friendship ring,
the very first time.

And it's beautiful, Gomer, just beautiful.

And it fits perfectly.

Actually, pearls are my very favorite.

And now,
to think I have a pearl ring all my own.

I never dreamed
I'd get anything like this.

Wait till I tell the girls in the store.
They'll die. They'll just simply die!

Oh, Gomer!

Words fail me!

- Do you like it, Lou-Ann?
- Oh, I do.

I just hope you didn't spend
too much money for it.

Oh, don't worry about that.
I got a real good buy on it.

And it's a genuine pearl.

- Genuine?
- Yes, ma'am, a real genuine pearl.

And it's brand-new,
not one of those used floor samples.

Oh, Gomer.

Mmm!

I just don't know how to thank you.

Golly, Lou-Ann, your friendship's
all the thanks that I'll ever need.

Well, Gomer, this ring
will forever cement our friendship.

And I promise you, nothing will ever
make me take it off, just nothing.

I tell you, Harry, it's a bull market.

Watches, transistor radios,
everything's selling like hotcakes.

Which reminds me, you better order
another dozen of them pearl rings.

Twelve more pearl rings, huh?

Oh, I forget which model you had.

Let me see the sample, huh?

Maybe you better make it two dozen.

I'm considering running a fire sale.

Wait a minute, Freddy.

- This ain't the sample.
- What are you talking about?

The sample, stupid,
the real thing we use as a come-on.

This ain't it.

It's one of them two-buck phonies
you palm off on the suckers.

You gotta be kidding, Harry!

Freddy, baby, when it comes to money,
I don't kid nobody.

You must've sold the wrong ring.

But... but that's impossible.
I... couldn't make a mistake like that.

Sweetheart, take my word for it.

You made a mistake like that.

The only question is,
who did I sell it to?

Now, wait a minute, when we met yesterday,
you had the Real McCoy.

How many of these rings
have you sold since then?

Just one.

To Pyle.

Well, then, whoever this Pyle
character is, he's got the legit piece.

Oh, Freddy baby,
you made an expensive mistake.

For a few measly bucks, you sold
a $500 ring that don't even belong to you.

Nice work, Freddy.

You meet me here Thursday with the $500,
the boss will call everything even.

But Harry, I haven't got $500.
I don't know where I can get it.

Well, in that case,
we go to alternate plan B.

The boss comes up with a small loan...

...to pay for a very cheap funeral.

Pyle, hey, Pyle.

Well, hey, Mr. Freddy.
What brings you way out here?

Pyle, there's no place in this
whole wide world too far for me

when there's a mission of mercy
to perform.

- Mission of mercy?
- Yeah.

Will you quit marching
and stand still so I can explain?

Sorry, Mr. Freddy, I'm on duty.

And if I stop,
I'll get in real big trouble.

Well, in that case, don't quit marching.
I'll just move along with you.

Pyle, uh, something's happened.

It's about that ring
I sold to your girl, Sue-Ann.

- Lou-Ann.
- Yeah.

Well, I only an hour ago learned
that it ain't what I told you it was.

I'm grieved to say that ring is worthless.

- It is?
- Yeah.

I'm afraid so.

What should have been
at least a $500 pearl

turns out to be worth
maybe two bucks at the most.

Well, how could that be?

I just learned from my importer, there's
been an epidemic in the South Seas.

And it's affecting all the oysters.

It is?

Yeah, they think it's a bomb.
But they're not sure.

Anyway, it's a kind of deep-sea
kidney trouble.

Instead of producing the genuine article,

all they come up with
is pearl-colored stones.

Well, that's a shame.

Those poor oysters,
all that work for nothing.

Don't worry about them, Pyle. They're
fast healers. I'm worried about you.

You are a victim
of an unfortunate mistake of nature.

And I ain't gonna let that happen.

Oh, foot, Mr. Freddy.

I don't feel like the victim of nothing.

That ring's still the prettiest thing
I ever did see, honest.

It ain't prettier than this one.

And I insist you take it
and give me the other one back.

This is a pre-epidemic pearl
from a healthy kidney.

I wouldn't think of it.
You know what Lou-Ann said?

She said nothing would ever
make her take that off her finger.

Pyle, please,
if I don't get the ring back,

I won't be able to live...
er, with myself.

Mr. Freddy, friendship rings
ain't like other kinds of rings.

Once you put it on your finger,
why, if you was to take it off,

it might bring bad luck.

Pyle, please, why... why don't we
meet later, like when you're off-duty?

I mean, carrying that heavy rifle
in all this hot sun,

you just don't know what you're saying.

Why, we can meet anyplace you like.

There ain't a soul on this earth

that could ever force me
to give that ring back.

I take that back. There is one person,
but I don't see why he'd ever ask me.

Who? Who? Who? Who is it?

My Sergeant, Sergeant Carter.

You mean,
you'd do it if your Sergeant asked you?

I suppose.

But I don't see why he ever would,
not a thing like this.

What'd you say
the name of your Sergeant was?

Sergeant Carter.

You remember him.

You sold him a fur piece
last year for his girlfriend.

I don't think he was too satisfied
with it though.

It kind of fell apart.

Oh, that Sergeant Carter.

[fence rattles]

Mr. Freddy, what are you doing up there?

I'm breaking into a military reservation.
Shoot me. End it all. Shoot me.

Um... Sergeant Carter?

Yeah? What can I do for you?

Well, you who don't know me,

but I am here about one of your men.
Paul, Gomer Paul.

Pyle?

Yeah, well,
there's been a terrible mistake.

And in the interest of fair play,

I thought maybe you might help me
straighten it out.

Say, don't I know you from someplace?

No, I never been there. Let me explain.

I met Pyle on the street yesterday...

It's funny.
I could swear you look familiar to me.

A lot of people say that.
I guess I got... I got that kind of face.

- And Pyle...
- You!

Have... have we met, Sergeant?

"Have we met?" he says! What's the matter?

You sell so many phony furs
you forget who your customers are?

- F... fu... furs?
- Yeah, that's right,

Mr. Friendly Freddy, fox furs, the kind
that fall apart on the dance floor

30 minutes after you give them
to your best girl.

Believe me, I'm an innocent victim.

There was an epidemic among foxes.
What a year!

You never saw so many bald foxes.

Boy, you'll never know how bad I felt.

I'll bet. And how about
that $50 refund you gave me

that turned out to be counterfeit?

That was counterfeit?

- Yeah.
- How do you like that?

It must've been a bad year
for $50 bills too.

See? It can even happen to the government.

- Get out of here.
- No, wait a minute, Sarge.

Really, only yesterday
I sold Pyle the wrong ring.

I gave him a $2 ring and charged him 12.

I begged him to let me make it up to him,
but he wouldn't let me.

Sure you did.

No, it's the truth, Sarge, honest.

I couldn't sleep all night
knowing what I did to that boy,

a Marine, serving his country,
losing hard-earned money.

Oh, if he'd only let me make it up to him.

Oh, you're breaking my heart.

Sarge, would I come to you,
hat in hand, if I was lying?

I want to give Pyle something,
not sell him.

And I was hoping that you would help me
get that worthless ring back.

Okay. You sold him a $2 ring for 12 bucks?

Then give me the $10 difference,
and I'll see that he gets it.

I'm a little flat right now, Sarge.

How about merchandise? You got any rings?

- Huh?
- Rings, like the one that you sold Pyle?

If they're worth $2,
then give me five of them

and you'll be square.

Listen, Sarge...

Five of them.

You go try to be nice to people.

Oh, how wrong my mother was.

Oh, Gomer, this is just all too much.

Well, first, my beautiful ring,
and then tonight, the Jade Club.

And it ain't exactly over with yet.

There's one more
teensy-weensy little surprise.

[gasps] Oh!

Gomer, what can I say?

You certainly know
how to sweep a girl off her feet.

Well, make a wish. Quick.

Let's dance.

So, that's the whole scam.

I got till tomorrow at 12 noon
to get the 500 bucks,

or you can start
looking for a new boyfriend, Stella.

Gee, Freddy, honey, are you sure
they really mean business?

[chuckles] Stella, these boys are big league.

You don't walk around owing them money
and walk around for a long.

Why don't we just
not even talk about it, huh?

Why don't we have ourselves
a big ball tonight

and let's not even think about it?

Yeah. That's a good idea.

Tomorrow, I die.

So today... nothing's too good.

Two beers.

[romantic music playing]

Freddy, honey.

What is it? You look like you saw a ghost.

Not a ghost, baby, the chance for me
to bail out of this mess.

- What?
- No, forget it. Forget it.

Look, I gotta get that ring back, right?
Well, I'm gonna need your help to do it.

But Freddy, honey, I don't know
what you're talking about.

Stella, yours is not to reason why.
Yours is but to shut up and listen.

Oh, excuse me.
I didn't see where I was...

No, I don't believe it. If it isn't my old
friend and customer, Gomer Peel.

Pyle. Hey, Mr. Freddy.

Lou-Ann, this is the gentleman
I bought the ring from.

Mr. Freddy, this is...

Don't... don't... don't tell me.
Let me guess.

From her obvious grace and charm,

this has to be the special young lady
you were raving about.

Joanne?

[Gomer] Lou-Ann.

Sure... sure, Lou-Ann.
I always get a little tongue-tied

when I'm in the presence
of such outstanding beauty.

Would you mind if I steal her away
for a little dance?

Well, go right ahead. It's fine with me.

If you don't mind, Lou-Ann.

Oh, I don't mind at all, Gomer.

[whispering]

Enjoying your first anniversary party?

This is just about the happiest night
in my entire life.

No wonder.
That ring looks just beautiful on you.

I must say, Gomer's taste in jewelry

is second only
to his taste in beautiful girls.

Why, thank you.

Did you say "girls"?

Like in the plural sense?

Yeah. Why?

Oh, just a slip of the tongue. [laughs]

You know, you... you're a little different
than I pictured you.

I am?

Yeah, when Gomer bought this ring
and said it was for you, I...

I don't know, I thought you'd be
a brunette, like the others.

Others?

What... what'd I say?

Well, you said "others".
What did you mean by that?

Oh, nothing, nothing. Believe me. Nothing.

Besides, what Gomer does with the rings
he buys is none of my business.

You said "rings",
like in the plural sense again.

Just what are you insinuating?

Oh, now, miss, there's a code
in the jewelry business.

The relationship
between customer and salesman is sacred,

like between a doctor and a patient.

Well, if you don't mind, I have had
quite enough dancing for now.

And I've also had enough idle gossip.

Because I don't believe a word you said.

Go to it, baby.

How was the dance?

Oh, it was all right.

Gomer, baby.

Hey, if you ain't a sight for sore eyes.

Ma'am, I don't think
I've had the pleasure.

It's me, Stella.

Don't you remember?

Now, do you remember?

No, ma'am. Fact is, I've never laid eyes
on you before in my whole life.

Okay. Have it your own way.
You don't know me.

And I suppose you never
gave me this either?

Gomer, that ring.

It's just like the one you gave me.

Lou-Ann, there's been a terrible mistake.

I never gave a friendship ring
to anybody but you, honest.

Cigars? Cigarettes?

See you Thursday night as usual,
Gomer sweetie.

Another one!

Honest, Lou-Ann, I never seen
either of them ladies before in my life.

You do believe me, don't you?

Gomer, I just don't know what to believe.

But you just gotta.

And honest, I never bought
more than one friendship ring

to give away in my whole life.

Oh, hi, Pyle, Lou-Ann.

Hey, Sergeant Carter.
I didn't know you was here.

Yeah. We just stopped by
for a couple of beers. Well, I'll see you.

Honest, Lou-Ann.

Wait a minute. Keep it going, honey.

I'll be right back.

You know, I knew there was something
I wanted to see you about.

I've been carrying these around
with me all day. Here.

- These are for you.
- [Lou-Ann gasps]

Gosh, more friendship rings?

What in the world
will I ever do with them?

Well, easy. Just find five more friends
and give them away.

Lou-Ann, this is getting
more complicated by the minute.

I plain just don't know what's going on.

Well, that makes two of us.

I'm just so confused and humiliated
that I don't know what to think.

But until you come up with
some logical explanation,

I'll just have to give you back your ring.

Well...

What's the matter, Pyle?
She giving the ring back?

Please, Lou-Ann, I don't know
any more about this than you do.

May I help you, honey?

- Freddy?
- Oh.

Big Harry said I'd probably find you here.

Just one more second. I'm that close.

I think we better do this outside,
where it's nice and quiet.

Asylum!
Can't I get political asylum in this club?

Stella!

Stella, you got such a big mouth.
Now all of a sudden you're quiet!

Scream a little! Stella, scream a little!

Have a heart, buddy.

Another five seconds and I would've had
this whole thing straightened out.

Harry! Don't shoot, Harry. Don't shoot.

Who can shoot?

Hey, what's going on?

We're from the DA's office.
We're taking you in as a material witness.

You're gonna testify against Big Harry.

Testify? What'd he do?

Nothing, except make suckers

out of a dozen other guys like you
in this town with these rings.

You see, there never were
any genuine rings.

There was never any boss either.

Harry made the whole thing up,

just so he could swindle you suckers
out of 500 bucks a crack.

- Let's go.
- I'm shocked.

Shocked and disappointed that there can
be such dishonesty and conniving

among men of goodwill.

Get in the car, Freddy.

Lou-Ann, please, wait just a minute. Wait.

Mr. Freddy, please,
I don't know what went on in there,

but would you please explain to Lou-Ann

that I only bought
the one friendship ring?

I'll do better than that.
I'll tell the whole truth.

See, I thought that ring
was worth a lot more.

And I tried to get you to give it back.

And that girl bit?

Ah, it was all an act.

Hey, I told the truth!

It feels good.

Hurts a little, but it feels good.

To the DA's office.

Oh, Gomer, how could I have ever thought

you'd give a ring like this
to anybody else?

Why, Lou-Ann, that came off just as easy.

It comes off easy when you want it to.

Hmm.

Well, it's not the usual quality

that we're accustomed to
here at Fairchild's, but it...

it has a certain value.

I'd appraise it at roughly $25.

Twenty-five dollars?

Well, that's a whole lot more
than I paid for it.

Appears we got a bargain after all.

I still don't care what it costs, Gomer.

I just love it no matter what.

Well, after all the confusion,
it's good to know what it's really worth.

Thank you very much, sir.

And I hadn't forgotten
about your calendars.

I'll keep them in mind.

Bye.

Hi there.

- Well, hey.
- Don't tell me you're shopping again.

What is it you're looking for this time?
An engagement ring?

No. We was just in there
having Lou-Ann's ring appraised.

And do you know, it's worth
a lot more than the $2 you said.

It's worth $25.

Twenty-five dollars?

[Gomer] So it turns out you gave us
a real good deal after all.

Thanks a lot. And it's really been nice
doing business with you.

Wait a minute now,
if you're really looking for a bargain,

I got a ring that's better than that one.

And I'd be willing to
make an even exchange...