All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S02E04 Home on the Range 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle-USMC.

Starring Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank
Sutton as Sergeant Carter.

[engine backfiring]

Hey there!

Are you having trouble?

Well, that wasn't Fourth of
July firecrackers you heard.

Maybe I can help. I used to work
in a filling station back home.

Well, thanks.
I think the old girl just about had it.

She been giving us trouble
all along the line.

Spent every cent we had on her.

Since I'm here,
might as well have a look.

Can't hurt nothing.

Well, what'll they think of next?

Shazam.

You sure got a mess of trouble in there.

How far did you drive with it like this?

It wasn't easy, but we made it all
the way from North Carolina.

North Carolina?

Hey, that's where I'm from.

It's a little-bitty
town called Mayberry,

about 40 miles from Raleigh.

- Did you ever hear of it?
- Oh, sure.

You did?

Of course, everybody heard of Raleigh.
It's the state capital.

No, I meant Mayberry.

Oh, Mayberry.

Did you ever hear of it?

No, I never heard of it.

Well, where you from?

A little town south part of
the state called Duncan's Pond.

Duncan's Pond.

Don't worry, nobody ever heard of it.

That was the trouble.

Heard there was real opportunity
out west, so I figured

maybe start fresh, you know it?

Up and coming town in Oregon
is supposed to be real nice.

Well, it's real nice
here in California too.

Hey, I forgot to introduce myself.
My name's Gomer Pyle.

Oh, Harper Caldwell.

Uh, Lottie I want you to meet my family.

This is my wife, Lottie, and--

- How do you?
- Ma'am.

- -This is our daughter,
Laura Mae, and this is Jud.

- Hi.
- Hi, Jud.

Well, Mother, it looks like we may
have to settle in California.

Sure would be a
shame to come this far

and not be able to make
it all the way to Oregon.

Well, I thought the jalopy
would make it up to there.

That's all we wanted was
just to make it up to there.

Well, I think I can
fix it temporary for you.

If you'll stay over
tonight I'll try and fix it

up permanent for you tomorrow.

Well, do you think you can?

Well, to be honest with you,

I don't think I'd fix it
permanent enough for you

to get all the way to Oregon.

But like I said, if you'll
stay overnight I'll sure try.

Oh, we-- we'd sure
appreciate that, Gomer.

I guess we have to sleep
in the truck again tonight, Mother.

Sleep in the truck?

Well, we don't have much choice.

Well, you can't do that.

It gets cold out here at night,

much too cold
for the kids to stay outside.

Hey, there's an old
supply shack on the base.

It's hardly ever used.

I don't think anybody would care
if you stayed there one night.

[Harper] We were so
lucky to meet you, Gomer.

Did you hear that, Mother?

Well, like I said,
it's just for one night,

and now you got to promise
not to touch anything.

Oh, we promise, Gomer.
You hear that, Jud?

Well, let me try and fix
it up temporary for you here,

and we'll be on our way.

First of all, I'm going to
need something

rubbery to make a fan belt--

You know, something that'll stretch.

See, told you your
suspenders would work.

[laughter]

[engine sputters]

[brakes squeal]

Come on, kids.

This is it.

See, I told you it's hardly ever used.

I don't think anybody will care.

Come on.

Don't worry, it's gonna be all right.

Go on in and make
yourselves comfortable.

And I'll be back later on.

Thanks, Gomer.

Yeah, thanks, Gomer. We're obliged.

- Aw, forget it.
- You're sure it's all right?

I'm sure. I'll see you after a while.

[marching music playing]

These war maneuvers
are very important.

Get that straight-- very important.

So I want every man on his
toes every minute of the day.

Now, I don't want to make you nervous,

but these maneuvers are
going to be completely

covered by the press and that--

Golly, Sergeant!

You mean we might get
our picture in the paper?

Pyle.

I better get a haircut.

Do you think it needs
cutting back there?

Pyle, knock it off.

I'll make sure they
photograph your good side.

You just make sure you do
what you're supposed to.

Right, Sergeant.

Now, remember, with all these
people from the press here

it's going to be just
like having the eyes

of the whole country on us.

Think you can use a
little trim there, Duke.

Knock it off!

Pyle, and this goes
for all of you,

but especially you--
if there's one foul-up tomorrow,

just one foul-up, well, take my word
for it, there better not be.

Any questions?

What, Pyle?

Didn't you say newspapers
was going to be here?

I just wondered if you knew if a feller
from the Mayberry Gazette

was gonna be here?

Let's get that rear area policed up.

Move, move, move, move, move!

[marching music]

Psst, Gomer.

Hey, Gomer.

Hey, Mr. Harper.

I told you to wait in the
supply shack till I got there.

Well, I couldn't. That officer fella
come and threw us out.

Oh, my.

What are we gonna do now?

Well, you wait for me
over at the bus stop,

and I'll be by later on.

And don't worry, I'll
think of something.

You'll all be real
safe in here, honest.

I like that place they
threw us out of better.

You'd be surprised how much
room there is inside here.

You'll all fit just fine.

- Come on, I'll show you.
- Where's the door?

Oh, it ain't got a door.

- You have to go in through the turret.
- Oh.

See how easy it is?

Let me have them one at a time.

Here we go, son.

[inaudible]

Thanks, Gomer. We're obliged.

You just make yourselves at home,
and I'll be back just as soon as I can.

- Now, you're sure it's all right?
- I'm sure.

[marching music]

Well, that's good news.
Some news, huh?

No passes tonight.

You like that?

But Duke, we got
maneuvers tomorrow.

So what, Gomer. That's tomorrow.

You could do with a good night's sleep.

You're starting to get them dark
circles under your eyes again.

But I sure had a lot
of fun getting them, pal.

Hey, I heard the platoon
that does best in war maneuvers

gets a week's liberty.

Shazam.

I was hoping that would happen.

A week's liberty-- that's
from the movie Fat Chance.

- Well, that's what I heard.
- Well, where'd you hear it?

Larry told me.

- Is that right, Larry.
- I guess so.

- Burt told me.
- Who told you, Burt?

Eddie.

- Is that true, Eddie.
- I don't know.

- Marty told me.
- Where'd you hear it, Marty?

- Charlie told me.
- Is that on the level, Charlie?

I guess so. Gomer told me.

Well, who told you, Gomer?

Nobody.

I just said it because I
was hoping it'd happen.

[groans]

[Harper] Psst.

Psst. Gomer.

Mr. Harper, you ought not be here.

I'm sorry, Gomer, but
that officer fella come back

and threw us out again.

I've been looking all
over the place for you.

You have?

I've got to be honest with you.

Gomer, the other folks around here
ain't friendly like you are.

Some of them are just
downright unfriendly.

All right, let's have
your attention for a minute.

Come on, let's listen up.

That's one of the unfriendly
ones I was telling you about.

That includes you too, Pyle.

Won't you join us?

Sure, Sergeant.

OK, now here's how we're
shaping up for tomorrow.

These are the special assignments.

Felcher And Perkins, you're
on the walkie-talkie.

Dooley and Perry,
you're on the mortar.

Slater and Pyle,
you're on the bazooka.

Me, Sergeant?

On the bazooka?

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Well, at least all those
years of possum hunting

made you useful for something.

At least you got a good aim.

Just make sure it's perfect tomorrow.

Oh, I can work that
bazooka sight real good.

First, you just look
through that little gizmo,

- and then you turn--
- Just do it.

Do it.

And one knucklehead move
tomorrow and your name

is mud with me.

And that goes for all of you.

Now, sack out early, and
be on your toes tomorrow.

Oh, uh, by the way, if you give
it all you've got tomorrow,

you'll be doing
yourselves a big favor.

I just heard from
someone who heard it

from a very reliable source
that the best platoon is

going to get a week's liberty.

Mr. Harper?

Golly, I feel just terrible about you

being chased out like that.

I don't mind about myself,
but the kids are getting

a little tired and cranky.

Oh, bless their hearts.

Them poor little youngins.

I just got to get them
a roof over their heads.

There ought to be someplace.

I'll be right out.
I think I know a place.

[engine sputtering]

Well, come on in.

Hey, look.

Why, this will do just fine, Gomer.

All it needs is a good sweeping up.

Well, now why in the
world would anybody go off

and leave a place like this?

Looks like they couldn't
take everything with them.

But like I said, it's just
an abandoned shack's all.

Gee, Gomer, this is the
nicest place we've had yet.

It sure is.

Hey, Pa, can I
sleep up here, please?

Sure, son.

Lottie, look at that, will you?

We got chairs, got a table,
we got a fireplace, beds.

Oh, this is a real home.

Oh, thank you, Gomer.

I can't tell you how
much we appreciate this.

Gomer, you really done us a
good turn, a real good turn.

We won't forget it.

Oh, it wasn't nothing.

Now, if I can just fix your truck.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

You might have to stay
here a couple of days.

That's just fine.

See, I got war maneuvers tomorrow,

so I probably won't have
a chance to try to fix

your truck till the next day.

What's one more day?

I just hope nobody comes and
tries to throw us out of here.

Oh, don't worry.

I should have thought
of this place right off.

Nobody will bother you here.

Gomer, we were so lucky
to meet up with you.

If you hadn't, we'd have sure
been in a mess of trouble.

Well, I'll see you tomorrow
right after war maneuvers.

You all get a good night's sleep.

I'm sure we'll sleep
real good tonight, Gomer.

And I'll sleep a whole lot better too
now knowing you're safe.

Oh, Gomer, now
you're sure this time

it's really all right?

I'm sure.

Well, I'll see you.

[ominous music playing]

Hey, Ma, I found some real
nifty firewood right outside.

Well, good boy!

Set it over the fireplace.

[hammering]

Well, it ain't no castle,
but it's sure better

than sleeping in the truck.

Oh, I think our luck's
beginning to change.

Meeting Gomer was a sign.

I can feel it in my bones.

Ain't he a fine boy?

You know, if it wasn't
for him, we wouldn't

have no roof over our heads.

Golly, it sure is pretty.

Oh, and so peaceful and quiet.

What do you think, Harper?

Do you think Oregon will be as nice?

Well, I don't know.

Sure be mighty hard
to beat that view.

You nervous, Gomer?

Why should I be nervous?

Well, with the big
brass and the reporters

out there and you
firing a bazooka--

- Doesn't that make you nervous?
- Shoot, sightings easy.

All you gotta do is look
through this little gizmo,

and turn this thingamajig
here, and then you--

Gomer, don't use all that
technical language on me.

Platoon standing by and
ready for action, sir.

As you were, Sergeant.

Well, gentleman, the
next demonstration

you are about to see is an
entirely different nature--

The assault and
destruction of an enemy

communications outpost.

The target is that shack
down there in the valley.

Our objective-- to destroy it
swiftly and completely.

And we can do it with a
platoon equipped with only

a bazooka and small arms.

You may commence the attack, Sergeant.

Aye-aye, sir.

Hey, Sergeant.

I bet I know what you're gonna say.

You gonna tell me to
start sighting the target.

I just love it when you tell
me start sighting the target.

Pyle, you wait till
I give you the order.

Right, I won't do a thing
till you tell me

to start sighting the target.

You are going to tell me to
sight the target, ain't you?

Pyle, when I'm good
and ready, I'll tell you.

Right.

- All right, sight the target.
- See?

I knew you was going to
tell me to sight the target.

Sight it!
Sight it!

Get on that shack over there.

Are you on target, Pyle?

Huh?

Are you on target?

What are you waiting for?

Sergeant, don't you think it'd be

better if we went down
there and captured

the target by infiltration?
Huh? Don't you?

Have you lost your mind?

Well, lis-- we'd save the
taxpayers a whole lot of money.

- And then we would be--
- He's cracking up.

Right in front of my
eyes he's cracking up.

Any time you're ready, Sergeant.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Pyle, you got that target sighted?

Well, just let me check the range again.

- Target sighted.
- It better be.

Fire!

[bazooka fires]

Better close the window, Harper.

Sounds like a thunderstorm.

Re-sight, Pyle. Re-sight.

What's the matter with you? You
know how to handle this thing.

Well, this ought to be
a whole lot closer.

It really oughta.

Well, fire. Fire.

[bazooka fires]

Somebody blowed up the truck.

Get down on the floor.

No, get-- get over there.

Go on, get over there!
Jud, get over.

[breaks window]

Harper!

Lottie, I don't know
who that is out there,

but we ain't going
down without a fight.

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

Golly.

Boy, that's what I call realism.

You know, for a minute
there I was really scared.

[gunshot]

Sergeant Carter?

Yes, sir?

What's going on?
Who's in that shack?

Well, I don't know, sir.

Well, we're being
fired upon, Sergeant.

- Did you know that?
- Oh, yes, sir.

Well, who's doing the firing?

[gunshot]

Well, uh, well, somebody
probably barricaded himself

in there is what it is, sir.

Well, get a detail down there and smoke
that someone out with tear gas.

Aye-aye, sir.

[gunshot]

Golly, maybe there's some
kids in there playing, sir.

If those are kids playing,
I don't like their toys.

A detail of men with tear gas, Sergeant.
Whoever's in there, just get them out.

- Aye-aye, sir.
- Sir? Sir?

What is it?

I know it's not my place
to offer suggestions,

but I'd go down there alone
if the colonel will let me.

That doesn't make much sense, Private.
Why send on man?

Whoever's in there is obviously
armed and not afraid to fire,

and doesn't care what or who he hits.

Well, that's what I mean, sir.

We had something like
this back home once.

A feller got all barricaded in.

And then every time a
bunch would rush him,

he got so scared and panicky
that he just fired right

into the whole pack of them.

And then just one feller
tried, and he made it

because when the feller
seen just one coming,

he didn't get scared.

Feller went in there and
took that gun away from him

and balled him out good, he did.

Please, sir, let me.

Well, that's very
courageous of you, Private.

All right. But be careful.

Thank you, sir.

Glasses, Sergeant.

Yes, sir.

No more shooting,
Harper, please.

Well, not unless I have to, Lottie.

But I got a right.

A man's home's his castle.

Hey, Harper, it's me.

[gunshot]

Gomer.

- Pa.
- Jud, get away from that window.

- But it's Gomer.
- Gomer?

Over behind the stump.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

We're saved.

It's Gomer.
[yelling] Hey, Gomer.

He just went right in.

Somebody out there's
been shooting at us, Gomer.

Just take a look at what
they done to our truck.

Whenever we're in trouble,
we can always count on you

to be around, can't we, Gomer?

- You sure can, ma'am.
- Wait a minute.

- I think I see something moving.
- You can't do that, Harper.

Well, why not?
Somebody out there is firing at me.

Who do you think that
is firing at us, Gomer?

Well, I know who it is.

It's the United
States Marine Corps.

The Marines?

Uh-huh.

Well, you see it's all
my fault. This here

shack is right smack in
the middle of the field

for the war maneuvers.

What's he doing in there?

I wish I knew, sir.

All he has to say is this is
government property, so you'll

have to get out of this shack.

Well, that's probably
just what he's saying, sir.

Then why is it taking so long?

Well, uh-- well, if
the colonel's noticed,

he does speak kind of slow.

So you see, this is
government property.

That's the reason you gonna
have to get out of the shack.

I sure am sorry.

Well, it ain't your fault, Gomer.
You tried.

You couldn't help it
that, of all the places

you picked out for us to stay,
not one of them worked out.

Sure botched things up.

Don't feel bad, Gomer.

You were only trying to do good.

Sure sorry about it, ma'am.

Well, you tell your
colonel that we'll get out.

We'll-- we'll leave.

We don't stay where we're not wanted.

Well, I'll tell him, Mr. Harper.

And you can also tell him
we ain't got no truck no more.

It's all busted up.

They busted it for us.

I know.

I sure am sorry about that too.

Well, it may take a little
while for us to get out.

You see, we're a family.

We're not Marines.

Right.

I don't know how we're
going to get to Oregon

now with the truck blowed up.

I sure am sorry.

You just take as much
time as you need.

I guess we'll just have to wait.

Oh, we'll see you, Gomer.

We took Okinawa in
less time than this.

Wait a minute. He's coming out.

Is he? How many has he got with him?

He's alone.

Alone?

Well, whoever's in
there isn't budging.

You gonna smoke
them out, Colonel?

I certainly am.
I've got a program to carry out.

Well, who is it?

Who's down there?

Well, it's a whole family--

A momma, and a daddy, and a
little girl, and little boy.

A whole family? Well, how did they
get in there, anyway?

Just decided to move in?

Well--

[Colonel Gray] And now they won't leave?
That's what they told you?

Well, you see, their
truck's busted, sir.

We've got maneuvers to complete.

You gonna use tear gas, Colonel?

[Colonel Gray] What?

We don't have to use
anything if they had a truck.

See, they need a truck.

Their own truck got ruined.

They need a truck.
Truck would do it.

Best plan would be
if they had a truck.

See, they really need a truck.

Where do they want to go anyway?

They want to go to Oregon, and
they could if they had a truck.

- You see, if they had a truck--
- I know.

I know.

All right, let's loan
them one of our trucks

- and get them to Oregon.
- You'd lend them a truck, Colonel?

Well, of course.
Can't just let them sit down there.

That's mighty generous
of you, Colonel.

Hey, it'd make a great human interest
story and a big credit to you, sir.

And sir, the folks
down there-- thank you,

thank you, thank you.

Now, careful there.

Oh, that's fine.

- Thank you.
- Thanks, fellers.

Boy, this will get you to
Oregon all right, Harper.

Oh, you ain't kidding.

It's lots better than
the old wreck was anyway.

Thanks, Gomer.

Well, I'll be!

Well, everybody in.
Come on.

I promised the colonel
we'd be shoving off.

Get in. Come on.

Well, Gomer I guess that's about it.

Now, don't forget, buddy boy,
any time you're in Oregon,

you've got a place to hang your hat.

Well, thank you, Harper.
That's real nice.

Bye-bye.

Y'all be sweet. Bye.

- Be careful, now.
- Bye, Gomer.

[engine revving]

- Bye, Gomer.
- Bye.

[engine running]

[tire blowout]

[hissing]

Uh-oh you got yourself a
flat tire, a real blowout.

You run over a busted bottle.

What am I going to do?

Well, let's see.

I've got tomorrow off.

And I can go in town,
get you a brand new tire.

But first all, I gotta get
you a place to stay tonight.