All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S01E18 The Feudin Pyles 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band playing]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

All right, don't stop,
don't pause,

don't wait for an opening.
Make one.

Come on, lunge, lunge. Go for
the midsection. Go for the head.

Head, hard.
Give it everything you got.

That's it. Now, move in
for the kill. Slash! Slash!

You got a bayonet
in your hands! That's it!

[in southern accent]
I'm sorry, Duke. I had to do it.

You was off balance is why.

Did I hurt
your thumb, Duke?

I'll get you a bandage
for it later.

What do you think
you're doing?

"Did I hurt your thumb, Duke?"

What are you, nurse Pyle
or Private Gomer Pyle, USMC?

Hey, Sergeant.
You see, I was...

You don't have to tell me
what I see, Pyle. I know what I see.

You were playing patty-cake
when you should be at his throat.

He's the enemy.

Duke?

You see, Sergeant,
that's just the trouble.

I can't hardly think of Duke
as nothing but my friend.

And suppose, instead of thinking
of Duke, you're seeing me?

Well, I think of you
as my friend, too.

Come on, Pyle. Kill me.

I just couldn't hardly
do that, Sergeant.

Simulate, simulate.
It's for your own good, Pyle.

It's your life
or the other fella's.

It depends on who
the other feller is, Sergeant.

He's the enemy, get it?
The enemy.

This ain't sportsmanship.
You don't ask questions.

You got two weapons
in your hand.

A blade for slashing and stabbing,

a club for pounding and smashing.

Now, come at me, Pyle,
with a slash. Come on.

And when you do,
let's hear it.

With each stroke, give a holler.
Now, come on.

Ha!

Ha?

You couldn't scare
a bunny rabbit with that.

What's the matter
with you knuckleheads?

You learned all this
in boot camp.

Now, all of you, listen up.

In one week from today, we come up
against another platoon.

It's gonna be an exercise
in bayonet warfare.

Each one of you will be
graded and scored.

I expect every man in this outfit
to beat his opponent.

I expect this platoon
to win that little contest.

Now, you are not going to
disappoint your Sergeant, are you?

[all] No, Sergeant.

Every day until that exercise,
I want you to work,

I want you to practice,
I want you to think bayonet.

Is that clear?

[all] Aye, aye, Sergeant.

And I want you
to work on that yell.

- Now, let me hear it.
- [all] Ha!

I can't hear you.

[all] Ha!

Work on that. Dismissed.

- Hey, Sergeant.
- What do you want?

I'm gonna really practice
my bayoneting. I really am.

Wonderful.

So, when I come up against
a for-real opponent,

I'll do real good.

It's just that whenever
I'm fighting with a buddy,

I can't seem to think of him
as an enemy. Ain't that funny?

Very funny. Ha, ha.

Oh, I don't mean funny funny.

I mean funny peculiar,

not the kind of funny
that you laugh at.

The kind of funny
that makes you go, "Hmm."

- You know?
- Yeah.

So don't you worry about me.

I'm gonna practice
my slashing and my jabbing.

I'm gonna be a fighting fool.
You'll see.

Well, you're halfway there.

Halfway there?

Oh. You mean that
the "fighting" part's not there yet,

but the "fool" part is.

That's what I call,
funny funny.

No. The answer's no, Duke.
Now, just lay off.

Why? She's a good-looking girl
and she's beautiful, just beautiful.

- Swear on your honor.
- Come on.

- Swear.
- Why should I?

She could have been in
an accident since I saw her.

- Yeah, face it, Duke. She's a dog.
- She's beautiful.

- Swear.
- Come on, Larry.

Well, what do you need me
for anyway?

She's my girl's best friend,

and my girl won't go anywhere
without her.

Negative, buddy.
The answer's negative.

- Now, just find yourself another patsy.
- You... [sighs]

Hi, Gome. Got any plans
for today, buddy?

I was just studying
this booklet here,

"Things to Do in Town
Over The Weekend,"

and there's so many
interesting things.

Look, here,
under "Family Fun."

There's fly-casting
off the city pier,

and there's a wax museum
of famous Indians,

and there's a guided tour
through Babylon Cemetery

with an organ recital.

There's so many things,
I just don't know what to do.

Well, listen, how'd you like
to go along with me today?

What are you gonna do?

Well, I got a date
with this girl, see?

And she's got a friend,
and the friend is beautiful,

just beautiful.

[Larry] Make him swear.

How about it, Gome?

Well, what are we gonna do,
these two girls and us?

Well, I thought we'd go somewhere
and have a couple of beers.

And?

And maybe later, go somewhere
and do some dancing.

And?

And then afterwards
maybe go down to the beach,

take a walk
in the moonlight, huh?

And?

Forget it.

Share it, now. Share it.

Let's not have one greedy one,
and the others get none.

That's all I got.
Clean out now, see?

[metal clanging]

Shazam.

[horseshoes clanging]

[man in southern accent]
Man, that's a beaut.

As true as a plumb.
That's a perfect ringer.

Well...

I didn't know they had
horseshoe courts in this town,

- did you?
- No.

I guess this place
is civilized after all.

Yeah. Hey, you care
to pitch a few?

Why not?

- Twenty-one points?
- Yes, sir.

Five points for a ringer,

three for a leaner,
and one, closest shoe.

You're the host,
you make the rules.

Closest one to the stopper
goes first, okay?

Okay.

One for the money,
two for the show,

three to make ready,
and here I go.

[horseshoe clanging]

Stand back, man. Here comes
the champ of Ripshin Ridge.

- [horseshoe clanging]
- I think I got you.

Did you say Ripshin Ridge?

That's what I said.
Ripshin Ridge.

North Carolina?

Where I come from, we don't
recognize no other Carolina.

And there's only one Ripshin Ridge.
That's where I come from,

a Tarheel out of Ripshin Ridge.

- Did you ever hear of Mayberry?
- Ever hear of it?

You mean, that little old bitty place
on the other side of Pogy Mountain?

It ain't that little. I can spit
the distance of Ripshin Ridge.

Why, when I was a young one,

I used to do one hop, skip,
and a jump through Mayberry.

Ripshin Ridge.
Are you really from there?

- I am.
- You ain't.

- I am, too.
- Go on.

Really.

- What did you say your name was?
- I didn't say.

I guess that's the reason
I don't know it.

Name's Branch.

- Mine's Gomer.
- Hey, Gomer.

Hey, Branch. [chuckles]

[sighs]

Ain't it a small world,
Branch?

It's all them small towns put
together that makes it a big world.

That's a smart remark,
Branch.

I thought so, too.

What platoon are you with?

First Platoon, Company B,
Sergeant Novak.

You must be clean over
to the other end of the base.

- Yeah.
- Golly.

Ain't this a small Marine Corps?

It's all them small platoons
put together

that makes it a big Marine Corps.

That's another smart remark,
Branch.

Right.

Just think, you and me
running into each other.

Fate don't ask questions.
She just happens.

That's another smart remark,
Branch.

You're just full of 'em,
ain't you?

I am.

I sure enjoy pitchin'
horseshoes, don't you?

It's a clean sport,
and it's a healthy sport.

And that's
an unbeatable combination.

Well, that may not be
a smart remark, but it's true.

Yeah.

I sure wish
that exercise next week

was horseshoes
instead of bayonets.

Huh?

That there exercise next week.

You know, that bayonet warfare?
I wished it was horseshoes.

You having trouble
with bayonet drill?

Some. Are you good at it?

Not bad.
What's your problem?

Well, I know all the moves.

I just find it kind of hard practicing,
you know, fighting with a buddy.

You've got to, though. Here,

I'll pretend I'm the enemy.
You look into my eyes.

What do you see?

- A fellow Tarheel.
- No, Gomer,

you got to pretend. Pretend,
get a mean look on your face,

you know, like they showed you
back at boot camp.

That's it. Good, good.

Now, make believe you got
a bayonet in your hand,

and lunge at me. Come on.

That's good, but don't forget
the yell that goes with it.

Come lunge at me again.
Come on.

- Ha!
- That's good.

Now, play like
we're fighting at each other.

- Ha!
- Ha!

[growling]

All right, break it up,
break it up.

If you guys wanna fight,
do it back at the base,

not in a public park.

- Beat it.
- Well, who's fighting?

We wasn't fighting,
Officer.

We fight our country's battles.
We don't fight our countrymen.

Now, that's the best remark
you made all day, Branch.

[music playing on stereo]

- Hey, did you find it yet, Branch?
- Yeah, here it is.

There's the Pogy Mountain.

And look here.
There's Big Britches.

I remember that place.

That's just a hoot
and a holler from Mayberry.

Aunt Columbia Phillips
used to live over there.

And I can still recollect
her fried chicken

and bowls of mustard greens.

Scupperdine jelly with hot biscuits
and churned butter.

Fried catfish and hush puppies.

Boiled possum
and black-eyed peas.

Turnip greens and rutabagas.

- Banana pudding.
- Banana pudding with vanilla wafers.

And wash the whole thing down
with a ice-cold glass of buttermilk.

- Oh, boy, that's the best, ain't it?
- Ain't it something?

Hey, let's say it again.

No, it'd make me
too hungry and homesick.

Golly, Branch, ain't this been
some kind of a day,

you and me runnin' into each other
and talkin' back-home talk?

There ain't one feller
in the platoon

that I can pitch horseshoes
with and talk Carolina talk.

Yeah, same in my platoon.

I got lots of buddies,

but there ain't nothing like
a back-home buddy, I guess.

Nothing at all.

I welcome all men,

but give me that face
from my native land.

- Did you just make that up?
- This minute. [chuckles]

Not only do you make
smart remarks, Branch,

but you make 'em
with feeling.

Well...

Here's to you, new buddy.

New buddies, old buddies.
Friendship is our aim.

I ain't even gonna compete
with you.

Hey, Sergeant.

[Gomer] Come over here
a minute.

Sergeant, say hey to Branch.
He's a brand new buddy.

Would you believe it? We lived
just a few miles apart back home,

but we never met. It took
the Marine Corps to get us together.

Life is a series
of meetings, Sergeant.

We never know the time
or place. We're just there.

[Gomer] That's a real
smart remark.

Branch is just full
of real smart remarks, Sergeant.

Say another one. Do that one
about old buddies and new buddies.

Oh.

Pyle, instead of sitting
around here yakking,

you ought to be back in your quarters,
practicing your bayonet drill.

Oh, don't worry about that,
Sergeant.

Branch, here, gave me a few pointers
just this afternoon.

I'll do fine.
You'll see.

Yeah?

Well, I'll be watching you, Pyle.

He's a real nice feller,
Sergeant Carter.

He don't grin much, though,

but that's on account of
his mind's always on his work.

What's the matter,
Branch?

What did your Sergeant
just call you?

Huh?

What name he use
for you just now?

Well, he calls me
lots of names,

but in the company
he calls me Pyle.

Pyle? Your last name Pyle?

That's my name, Gomer Pyle.

What are you getting
so serious about?

You know what my name is?

It's Branch.

Right. Branch Eversole.

Eversole. The Eversoles
of Ripshin Ridge.

What does that mean to you?

Gomer, the Pyles of Mayberry

and the Eversoles
of Ripshin Ridge is feudin'.

Your family and my family have
been feudin' for over 75 years.

- Well...
- Pyle,

you and me is blood enemies.

Are you sure? Are you sure it ain't
just some little misunderstanding

- that's been blowed up?
- Feudin'.

Are you sure
it's our two families?

There's lots of Pyles down South.
Why, it could be...

Feudin', feudin'.

What was your
great-granddaddy's name, huh?

- Was it Cedric Pyle?
- Yeah, Great-granddaddy Cedric.

But it could have been another one.

There could have been
lots of Cedric Pyles.

I don't think so, not in Mayberry.

Gosh, I sure am sorry
to hear about this, Branch.

But for heck's sake,
that ain't got nothing to do with us.

That was
our great-granddaddies.

- You and me is buddies.
- No, we ain't.

The feuds of the fathers
and the grandfathers

should be visited upon the children.

That's the first remark you made
all day that wasn't smart.

I don't aim to be smart, now,
just loyal to my ancestors.

Do you mean that me and you
can't be buddies no more?

We can't pitch horseshoes
and talk food

and study
our North Carolina map?

We can't do that no more?

What are we gonna do?

I know. I'll call up
my daddy long-distance.

Yeah.

I'll call up my daddy, long-distance.
He'll tell me what to do.

I'll say, "Daddy,
I met a Pyle. What do I do?"

Yeah, that's a real good idea,
Branch.

Maybe that feud was settled
a long time ago.

That's a real good idea.

- Don't touch me.
- Huh?

Don't touch me till
my daddy tells me what to do.

How much more do you need?

- You need some change, Branch?
- Quiet.

Another 30 cents?
Hold on.

Here.
Here's some change.

You put them in. They're Pyle coins.
I can't touch 'em.

[dinging]

Got it all now? Good.

She's connecting me.

- Golly, I sure hope...
- Shh. I'm connected. Hello?

Hello, who's this?

Sister? This here's
your brother, Branch, Sister.

No, I'm not at the bus depot.
I'm here at the Marine base.

No, ain't nothing the matter.
Let me talk to Daddy.

What? Of course I'm all right.
Let me talk to Daddy.

Ain't nothing wrong.
Let me talk to Daddy.

I ain't in the hospital.
Now, let me talk to Daddy, hear?

- Baby sister worried about you?
- She's 47.

Hello, that you, Daddy?
This here's Branch.

No, I ain't in any trouble.

There's something
I got to ask you, Daddy.

[inaudible]

What did he say, Branch?
What did he say?

He says
I have to kill you.

- Hey, Branch.
- Hey, Gomer.

[branch sighs]

Have you been thinkin'
about last night?

I've been thinkin'.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know, Gomer.
I don't wanna kill you.

- Hey, Branch, I got an idea.
- Yeah?

We're both
a long ways from home.

Why don't we put one of them
obituaries in the newspaper

and send it to your daddy,
and maybe that would satisfy him.

What are you talking about?

Well, we put it
in the newspaper to read,

"Gomer Pyle, USMC,

taken from us
in the prime of his life.

He will always be remembered
on account of he loved

little children
and animals and old people

and old automobiles."

- Well, I don't know.
- Well, what's the matter with it?

Well, I don't know, Gomer.

Daddy might get to gloatin' over it
and spreadin' it around.

Next thing, some kin of yours
will wanna know what happened

and where you is buried.

- It could lead to a lot of fussing.
- Yeah.

Besides, I'd be tellin'
an untruth to my daddy.

That's right.

You'd be Iyin' about a killin'
that you didn't do, and that's bad.

Yeah.

Boy, Gomer, I just wish
you'd go ahead and kill me.

Huh?

Well, somebody's got to kill
somebody in this dang feud.

Well, I don't want any part
of it. I ain't killing nobody.

Well, do you want me
to kill you?

Well, do you want me
to kill you?

Well, don't you understand, Gomer?
Daddy says I have to kill you.

No you don't. You don't have
to kill nobody.

- Yes, I do.
- No, you don't.

Yes, I do.
I have to kill you.

All right, all right.
I told you guys yesterday,

you wanna fight,
do it back on the base.

Now, beat it.

Kill. Kill. Kill.

You ain't gonna kill me!
You ain't gonna kill me!

- You ain't gonna kill nobody!
- Gomer!

- No, I ain't gonna let you kill me.
- Gomer. Gomer.

Gomer, what's the matter, buddy?
You having a nightmare?

- Huh?
- What did you have for dinner, lobster?

Mmm? I'm sorry, fellers.
I must have been dreaming.

I'll take care of him.
Relax, take it easy.

You were having
a nightmare here, buddy.

You must have had
something funny for dinner.

- Huh?
- You'll be okay. You'll be okay.

...And it took a couple
of guys to hold him down

and get him back
into his bunk again.

He was wild. I'm telling you,
Sarge, he was wild.

- It happened. It finally happened.
- What finally happened?

- I made a killer out of Gomer Pyle.
- Huh?

I finally got through
to him.

I've been pushing him
to take his bayonet drill seriously.

"I can't fight a buddy.
I can't fight a buddy."

That was his excuse.
Now, something must have snapped.

Something must have happened,
and he began to see it in its true light.

He began to think about it
and think about it.

Then he began
to dream about it,

and now he's raring to go,
a killer.

[Carter] In just a few seconds
we'll have the final round

in these bayonet attacks.

Now, I don't know what squad
you'll be up against,

but don't think of them as Marines,
think of them as the enemy.

Don't hesitate. You got to be fast.
Move in for the kill.

Now, I'm depending on you.

[sergeant] ...four, hup.
To the left flank, hup!

Here come the victims.

[sergeant] Hup!

On your toes, men.

Go get 'em, tiger.

[sergeant] Squad, halt!

Ten-hut!

At ease.

This is a contest in attacking
movements, and you will be scored.

A score is made
when a solid blow is delivered

to the head, the neck,
or the midsection. Is that clear?

[Carter] Yes, sir!

The umpires will
make the decisions,

and the losers will
be tagged accordingly.

Sergeant, line up your squads,
combat positions.

First four men,
attack position!

First four men,
attack position!

En garde.

[whistle blowing]

[all growling]

[whistle blowing]

Fall out.

Second four men,
attack position!

Next four men, attack position!

[captain] En garde.

[whistle blowing]

[all growling]

- [Gomer] Hey, Branch.
- [branch] Huh?

Would your daddy be satisfied
if you kill me?

Huh?

See them tags down there
marked "Killed"?

- Yeah.
- Well, if you beat me, they'll tag me.

Yeah.

That way, you can call your daddy
and tell him you killed me.

That way I wouldn't be killed killed
as long as I'm killed.

[groaning]

[whistle blowing]

What happened
to you, Pyle?

- Well...
- You looked like you had him.

Right, Sergeant, but I...

You had him, you had him!
What happened?

You blew it, Pyle.
You blew it.

What are you smiling about?

You blew your match,
and you're smiling.

Why, huh?
Why, why, why, huh?

Well, it's kind of hard
to explain,

but for a killed man
I sure do feel happy.

Hello, who's this?

Sister? Sister, how come
you always answer the phone?

This here's
your brother Branch, Sister.

No, I ain't at the bus depot.
I'm here at the Marine base.

Let me talk to Daddy.

No, I ain't in jail.
Let me talk to Daddy.

Everything's fine, fine.
Now, let me talk to Daddy.

Hello, Daddy?
This here's Branch.

I got some big news
for you, Daddy.

Remember that Pyle
I told you about? Remember?

Well, I killed him,
run him through.

Well, we was having
this bayonet exercise,

and I killed him.

Does that make you happy?

Well, what do you mean
you don't believe me?

Well, I did, though.
I killed him.

Well, I don't know
how I can prove it.

Hello? Mr. Eversole?

This here's Gomer Pyle.

It's true, sir.
Your son, he killed me.

He run me right through
with a bayonet.

[continues chattering]