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1
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,672
[marching band playing]
2
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:12,179
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.
3
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:15,974
Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.
4
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:21,605
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
5
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,326
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.
6
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:35,994
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.
7
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,539
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning, sir.
8
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,499
I asked you men to drop in
9
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,834
because I have a little favor
to ask of you.
10
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,962
It's about this little dance
on Saturday night
11
00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:47,881
- for the, uh, for the enlisted men.
- Yes, sir?
12
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,466
I think you all know
my daughter, don't you?
13
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:50,509
[all] Of course, sir.
14
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:53,428
Well, she's coming home
from college on Saturday,
15
00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,097
and there's the matter of an escort
16
00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,140
and I was wondering if
one of you men might be free.
17
00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:00,060
I think she should be
accompanied by a man from the base.
18
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,145
Well, I'd deem it an honor, sir,
19
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,773
but it just so happens
I have a date. Sorry, sir.
20
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,775
I don't want anybody to break a date.
21
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:11,446
Well, I'm not much
of a dancer, sir, and, uh,
22
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,241
well, uh, it might be
a little dull for her.
23
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,534
I understand.
24
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,495
What about you, Barker?
You got a date?
25
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:21,915
Well, not exactly, sir,
but I might have.
26
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,252
It's this girl
who said she might come or she might not.
27
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,045
It could go either way.
28
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:29,715
It's just that I'm not sure, sir.
29
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,133
Of course.
30
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,719
Sorry, sir,
I have to meet my mother.
31
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:34,720
I see.
32
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,972
- Thank you for coming in, gentlemen.
- Yes, sir.
33
00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:38,432
Thank you, sir.
34
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,440
Well, sir,
which one is it going to be?
35
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,900
None of them could make it,
36
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,194
and I think I know the reason why.
37
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:54,072
Nobody wants to get saddled
with the boss's daughter.
38
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,782
And that's what this amounts to.
39
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,118
I mean, to be on guard
during a date, that's no fun.
40
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,161
Uh, sir...
41
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:02,331
And they're probably being wary
of my wife's watchfulness.
42
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:05,083
Uh, she's a bit
overprotective, you know.
43
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,543
Uh, sir, I have a thought.
44
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,503
After all, this is
the enlisted men's dance.
45
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,131
It doesn't have to be an officer, does it?
46
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,674
No, not necessarily.
47
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,927
Well, sir, I think you could find
a suitable escort among the enlisted men.
48
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,096
It might be more preferable, sir,
49
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,390
to make the thing look democratic,
if you know what I mean.
50
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,934
That's an idea.
51
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:25,854
I'll speak to the platoon
sergeants and have them make suggestions?
52
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:28,899
Yes. My wife's a bit of
a worrier, you know,
53
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:31,109
but I'm sure the man will be all right.
54
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,570
- You understand?
- Oh, yes, sir. No problem, sir.
55
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,405
All right. Fine.
56
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,782
Go ahead, Captain.
57
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,284
By the way,
58
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,410
are you busy on Saturday?
59
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,914
Sorry, sir, uh,
as a matter of fact, uh, I am.
60
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:45,832
Carry on.
61
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,920
Well, what about you?
Who are you taking?
62
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,338
[in southern accent]
Me? Oh, I ain't goin'.
63
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,964
- [man] You're not going to the dance?
- How come?
64
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,966
There's this picture on television
that I don't wanna miss.
65
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,968
It's Tarzan Untamed.
66
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,388
You mean you wanna watch
that "Me Tarzan, you Jane"?
67
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,765
Well, I don't go
for that gushy stuff too much.
68
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:04,768
What I like is when an elephant picks
Tarzan up with his trunk
69
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,437
and old Tarzan just sits there
on the elephant's head.
70
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,731
You don't see
a thing like that too often.
71
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,483
Oh, I'll go along with that, Gome.
72
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,444
Okay, men, I want to know
who has dates for the dance.
73
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:15,904
Come on, hands.
74
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,281
All of you?
75
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,495
Pyle, you don't have a date?
76
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,163
No, Sergeant.
77
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,206
Oh.
78
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,459
Come over here, Pyle.
79
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,006
You might have a date.
80
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,967
It's not set yet, but you might.
81
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,969
Well, thanks for
thinking of me, Sergeant,
82
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,096
but there's this television
program on Saturday night
83
00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:43,932
that I've been pointin' for.
It's Tarzan Untamed.
84
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,893
This happens to be
Colonel Harper's daughter.
85
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,520
That's the date.
86
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,564
The Colonel's daughter?
87
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:54,317
Shoot, even if I didn't have other plans,
I couldn't take her.
88
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,819
Why not?
89
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:59,489
Well, golly,
she's the Colonel's daughter.
90
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,701
Well, you've taken out girls before.
91
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,702
Or have you?
92
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:06,621
Shoot, yeah, but nobody
ever this important.
93
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,707
The most important girl
I ever took out back home
94
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,333
was the county assessor's daughter.
95
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,085
That's as high as I ever wanna go.
96
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,045
The daughter of a civil-service man.
97
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,088
Pyle...
98
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,758
And even then I remember
my hands got all sweaty.
99
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,675
Pyle...
100
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,969
And my heart was going
"Ka-thump, ka-thump."
101
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,053
I was nervous is what.
102
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,639
Pyle, will you calm down?
You haven't been picked yet.
103
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,808
I wouldn't even know
what to talk to her about.
104
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,560
At least with
the county assessor's daughter
105
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,937
I was able to keep up
a running chatter on assessments.
106
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,023
Now, that can be a real meaty subject.
107
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,400
Pyle, you are the only one
who doesn't have a date,
108
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,152
so I'm submitting your name.
109
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,237
Each company is sending in
a name to the Colonel
110
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,323
so they can pick
the best man for the job.
111
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:44,409
They're probably looking for
somebody who is a nice dancer,
112
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:47,037
a good talker, a smart companion...
113
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,581
You don't have a thing to worry about.
114
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,041
I'm praying.
115
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:54,002
Sergeant, do you know
anything at all about her?
116
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,587
She's the Colonel's daughter.
117
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,088
Oh, the Colonel's daughter.
118
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,590
"Gomer Pyle."
119
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,258
What kind of a man is he, Sergeant?
120
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,511
Well, sir, he...
121
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:06,264
Excuse me, sir,
is Pyle the man selected?
122
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:07,641
I don't know yet.
123
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,643
I want to find out
a little more about him.
124
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,062
What I'm looking for,
primarily, is a certain type.
125
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:15,315
I'd say he's a "type" all right, sir.
126
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,108
How do you mean?
127
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:20,779
Well, sir, he never goes out,
128
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:22,906
doesn't do anything,
129
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,242
doesn't have anything
interesting to talk about.
130
00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:26,535
Innocuous.
131
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,702
Sir?
132
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:28,662
Harmless.
133
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,206
Oh. He certainly is, sir.
134
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,291
Uh, might even say "dull".
135
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,584
Dull. Yes, sir.
136
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,086
Good. Sounds perfect.
137
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:37,754
Sir?
138
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:41,091
My wife will feel quite comfortable
with him. Gomer Pyle it is.
139
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,385
Yes, sir.
140
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,472
- An enlisted man?
- Mmm-hmm.
141
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,516
Who is he?
What do we know about him?
142
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,726
I checked this boy's record,
and it's fine.
143
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,937
And the Sergeant assures me
that he's a perfect gentleman.
144
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:56,147
It's gonna be all right.
145
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,649
The Sergeant?
146
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,819
Edna, this is only for one evening,
147
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,196
and it'll be nice for Jane
to have an escort.
148
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,490
And as a matter of fact,
149
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,118
an enlisted man
may be even more interesting.
150
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,328
All right, all right.
I won't say another word about it.
151
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,831
Yeah, but you've got to stop worrying.
152
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,708
Right? Right.
153
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,211
Where's he from?
154
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:22,007
Uh, the South. A country boy.
155
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,550
You didn't tell me about that.
156
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,177
What's wrong with a country boy?
157
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,972
What's wrong?
Well, they're the worst kind.
158
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,432
Those quiet country boys.
159
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:32,517
They're the kind
that turn into howling wolves.
160
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,352
[chuckling]
161
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,314
That's ridiculous.
162
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,273
Oh, is it?
163
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:41,067
Have you read about
the scandalous goings-on
164
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:44,654
in those quiet country towns
with those quiet country boys?
165
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,866
Edna, stop worrying.
Everything's gonna be all right.
166
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:51,578
Then I won't take my eyes
off them for one second.
167
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,916
Hey, Sergeant.
168
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,709
Did you send for me?
169
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,255
Guess who?
170
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:07,344
I knew it. I just knew it.
171
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,971
I had the feeling right from the beginning
it was gonna be me.
172
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,349
There was something just
in the pit of my stomach. I knew it.
173
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,267
I knew it was gonna be me.
174
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,478
Now, Pyle, now, Pyle,
take it easy. Take it easy.
175
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,396
After all,
I got more at stake than you have.
176
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:21,107
I was the one that sent in your name.
The Colonel's depending on me.
177
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,526
Well, what'll I do? She's the Colonel's
daughter and, heck, I don't know
178
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,445
- what to...
- Why don't you just take her to the dance?
179
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,447
Just be careful what you say
and how you act.
180
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,366
Oh, I'll be careful, all right.
181
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,701
But what'll we talk about?
What'll I say to her?
182
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,371
You can talk about anything.
Just be careful what you say.
183
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:38,166
I just can't get over the idea
of her being the Colonel's daughter.
184
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:41,169
- She's gonna be disappointed in me.
- Pyle.
185
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,463
We come from two different
worlds is what, Sergeant.
186
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,548
What are you talking about?
187
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,467
Well, I'm just plain country folks,
188
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,094
and shoot, she comes
from one of them homes
189
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,429
that's got fruit and flowers
all over the place
190
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,348
and there ain't even nobody sick.
191
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,475
Look, Pyle, you don't
have to marry the girl.
192
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,477
I know, Sergeant.
But why'd they have to pick me?
193
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,562
Of all the guys on the base,
why'd they have to pick me?
194
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,941
Pyle, listen, listen, listen.
Now, you were picked for this assignment.
195
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,568
Why, I don't know, but you're gonna take
the Colonel's daughter.
196
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,570
Now, when you do,
just don't say much.
197
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,699
Don't do anything, don't act silly,
don't talk, don't even breathe.
198
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,200
Just have a good time.
199
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:16,454
I just wish this whole thing
was over with already.
200
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:19,249
Look at my hands.
Look at 'em. Look at 'em sweat.
201
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:22,919
And feel my heart.
It's going "Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump."
202
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,338
Can't you lift this up
closer to your neck?
203
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,549
Why, that looks fine to me.
204
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,510
Janie, good to have you home.
205
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,513
I haven't had a chance
to ask you how school is this semester.
206
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,931
Oh, it's all right, I guess.
207
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,683
What's the matter?
Anything wrong?
208
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:40,478
Oh, it's just that it's so dull.
It's nice, but dull.
209
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,024
Mother, can't I transfer
to a coed school next semester?
210
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,275
I'd be so much happier.
211
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,902
I'd prefer you stay where you are.
It's a perfectly fine school.
212
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:51,573
Well, if it's dull and she wants
to transfer, I don't see any harm.
213
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:54,034
Ciara Burton College was
good enough for me
214
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,078
and I know that Jane will get
a fine education there. Perfectly fine.
215
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:59,622
And after all, that's
the most important thing, isn't it, dear?
216
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,708
- I suppose so.
- Let me look at you.
217
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,210
- [tires screeching]
- What on earth is that?
218
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,004
That's probably your escort, dear.
219
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,173
I authorized a jeep for your use tonight.
220
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,133
They're all so reckless.
221
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,551
Now, about this young man, dear,
222
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,636
I don't want you to worry
about a single thing.
223
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,263
We'll be right by your side all evening.
224
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,473
- [knocking on door]
- Yes, mother.
225
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,100
Good evening.
226
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:23,521
Sir, Private Gomer Pyle
reporting as ordered, sir.
227
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,940
I, uh, wish you wouldn't put it that way.
228
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,817
Hope you didn't mind
the brake squeal, sir,
229
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,694
but I wasn't sure
what house you lived in
230
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,739
and I didn't want to pass it by,
so I had to mash down on the brakes.
231
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,492
Well, uh, come on in, Pyle.
232
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,994
Thank you, sir.
Yes, sir.
233
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,289
Now, this is Mrs. Harper.
234
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:42,540
How do, ma'am?
235
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,292
And this is my daughter, Jane.
236
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,752
Hey, Miss Jane.
237
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,505
I brought you some flowers.
238
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,465
Thank you.
It was very thoughtful.
239
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,426
I'll get a vase.
240
00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,100
Well, uh, we've got
a few minutes before we go.
241
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,518
Shall we sit down?
242
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,812
- Please.
- Make yourself at home, Pyle.
243
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,897
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
244
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,868
Well, we were, uh--we were
very happy that you were able to make it.
245
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,870
Yes, sir, me, too.
246
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,288
Real happy.
247
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:25,583
Private Pyle, I understand
that you come from the South.
248
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,043
Where in the South?
249
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,503
Yes, ma'am, I sure do.
250
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,797
I come from Mayberry, North Carolina.
251
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,633
My family settled there
about 150 years ago.
252
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,970
That is, my ancestors did,
not the family that I got now.
253
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,139
- Of course.
- Of course.
254
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,517
They built their own log cabin
all by theirs elves.
255
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,893
Real pioneers.
256
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,646
Of course, we Pyles have come
a long way since then.
257
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,523
We've added a back porch and a bath.
258
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,525
I see.
259
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:51,651
I mean a regular bath,
260
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,195
one that you don't
have to fill up with a pump, neither.
261
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,073
Oh, well, that's what I call
real progress.
262
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,408
Remarkable.
263
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:02,370
When the water company run their lines,
they went to the north part of town first.
264
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,080
Oh, well,
wouldn't you know.
265
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,458
See, the center of town is right here,
266
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,793
and, uh...
267
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,172
This is north.
268
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,340
And they had to run them lines
269
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,759
right down here through Maple Street.
270
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,386
That's right here.
271
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:22,098
And then over the ridge,
past Fred Bartlett's place.
272
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,808
Now, that's about here.
273
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,352
And then they had to
run 'em all the way out into the swamps.
274
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,813
That's where you're sittin', Mrs. Harper.
275
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,650
You know something else
that might interest you, Mrs. Harper?
276
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:33,818
What?
277
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,613
We was the first family
on the south side of town
278
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,198
that had a septic tank.
279
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,366
A septic tank?
280
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,912
yes'm. You see, it was always
my mama's dream to have one.
281
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:48,124
And me and my daddy saved up
for six years. Six years.
282
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,376
And we surprised her
with the news on her birthday.
283
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,756
You ought to have seen her face when
we took her out there in the backyard.
284
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,592
Well, I'll bet
she was thrilled, all right.
285
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:02,805
Say, Miss Jane, you really got a nice
way of arranging 'em.
286
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,474
- Thank you.
- Must be a knack.
287
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,977
Looks like it was done
by one of them funeral florists.
288
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,062
Shall we go?
289
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,273
Uh, yes, yes,
I hadn't realized it was quite so late.
290
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,692
I'm sure lookin' forward to this dance.
291
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,236
Thank you.
292
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,321
Well, you two run along.
We'll be right behind you.
293
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,989
Are you ready to go, Miss Jane?
294
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:23,117
We'll see you there, sir.
It was nice talkin' with you, ma'am.
295
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,208
Well...
296
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,669
Well, next time you'll listen to me.
297
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,004
Well, what's wrong?
He's a nice boy.
298
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:38,299
I know these nice boys.
That's an act.
299
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,425
Oh, come on, now.
300
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:42,512
I'm more determined than ever to keep
my eye on them every single second.
301
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:45,515
All right, all right,
have it your own way,
302
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:48,977
but any boy who saves up for six years
to buy a septic tank
303
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,938
for his mother's birthday
can't be all bad.
304
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,655
[swing jazz music playing]
305
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,622
- Good evening.
- Good evening, Captain.
306
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,749
- Evening, Captain.
- Good evening, sir.
307
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,459
Captain, this is Private Pyle.
308
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,670
- How are you, Pyle?
- Good evenin', sir.
309
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,922
Well, you've decorated
the place beautifully.
310
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:20,466
Yes, sir, you can't hardly
beat them Japanese people
311
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,884
when it comes to lanterns.
312
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,263
[slow music playing]
313
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:28,141
- Colonel Harper, your honor.
- Thank you.
314
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,475
Shall we, dear?
315
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,415
[people clapping]
316
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,835
[fast music playing]
317
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,714
Would you like to dance, Miss Jane?
318
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,951
Have you been watching our country boy?
319
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,870
Yes. He seems to be quite a dancer.
320
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,543
Dance me over in that direction.
321
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,546
- Oh, Edna, let's leave them alone.
- Emmett, please.
322
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,260
Hey, folks.
It's a nice dance.
323
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,929
Jane, I think it would be nice
324
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,722
if you danced with your father.
325
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:50,973
All right, Mother.
326
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,558
And I don't suppose
Private Pyle has any objections
327
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,684
to dancing with me?
328
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,269
No, ma'am, I'd be glad to.
329
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,898
Please, Private Pyle!
330
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,526
That's the way we dance back home.
331
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,821
Yes, I'd prefer that you dance a little
slower. I want to have a word with you.
332
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:05,738
Yes, ma'am.
333
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,574
I, uh, just thought I'd better mention
that my daughter is not used
334
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,118
to too much excitement.
335
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,954
I'm sorry. What happens
when she dances too hard?
336
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,497
Does she have a spell?
337
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:15,790
Of course not.
338
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,792
It's just that I think
you should dance slower
339
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,544
and at a proper distance.
340
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:20,837
Yes, ma'am.
341
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,922
I guess I'm just used to
the girls back home.
342
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,716
You don't grip them hard enough,
and they'll fall right down.
343
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,720
My pleasure, ma'am.
344
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,557
You know, you dance real good
for a short lady.
345
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:33,683
Thank you.
346
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:40,815
[mid-tempo music playing]
347
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,317
- Hey, Miss Jane.
- Hello.
348
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,612
Would you like to dance?
349
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:47,738
Uh...
350
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,785
I don't suppose we'd better.
351
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,122
Well, I'll dance slow
and hold you loose.
352
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,373
No, thanks.
353
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,671
Would you like some punch?
354
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:05,506
No. Thank you.
355
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,137
You go to school, don't you?
356
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,014
Yes, I do. I'm at college.
357
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,474
What you takin' up there?
358
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,559
Music. I'm a music major.
359
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,769
Back home, you ask
somebody goin' to school,
360
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,898
"What you takin' up,
the teacher's time?"
361
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,274
That's a joke back home.
362
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,234
I see.
363
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:28,070
Did I ask you
if you wanted some punch?
364
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,197
You did.
365
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:32,241
- What did you say?
- I said, "No, thank you."
366
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,369
But I believe
I will have some now.
367
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,705
Okay. I'll be back in a jiffy.
368
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,376
Two punches, please.
369
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,046
Pyle...
370
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,297
Hey, Sergeant.
371
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,633
Are you behaving yourself?
You behaving yourself, Pyle?
372
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,927
Yes, sir. She's nice.
She's real nice.
373
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,720
What do you mean, "Nice"?
374
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,680
Remember, she's the Colonel's daughter.
375
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,766
- Now, you behave yourself.
- Yes, sir,
376
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,601
but she is a little on the quiet side.
377
00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,561
There ain't too much to talk about.
378
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,104
What did you talk about?
379
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,856
Well, comin' on over here,
380
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:07,151
I told her about
the M14 rifle and how you disassemble it.
381
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,819
Good, good.
382
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,863
What else could we talk about?
383
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,241
Well, uh...
384
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:16,077
Do you think
she'd be interested in chemical warfare?
385
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:27,547
- Here's your punch, Miss Jane.
- Thank you.
386
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,674
Careful of
the little lemon seeds in there.
387
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,051
You swallow one of them,
you'd get appendicitis.
388
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,136
- Did you know that?
- No.
389
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,138
- Emmett, look.
- What?
390
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,642
He just brought her some punch.
391
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:42,228
- Well, what of it?
- I wonder what's in it.
392
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,565
What? Grape juice and some lemons
floating in it. I just had some.
393
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,317
I know, I know,
and you know about spiking a drink.
394
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,777
Oh, take it easy.
395
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,904
Mrs. Harper, may I have this dance?
396
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,573
Oh, uh, all right.
397
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,533
Emmett, will you keep an eye on things?
398
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,742
Mmm-hmm.
399
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,264
Oh, uh, Captain, uh, excuse me.
400
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,142
Emmett, they're gone.
401
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,184
What? Who's gone?
402
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,854
Jane and that--that country boy.
They're not here.
403
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,355
Oh, excuse me.
Thank you.
404
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,232
They've probably just
gone for a walk, dear.
405
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,900
I want them found.
406
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,652
- Edna, take it easy.
- I insist.
407
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,779
They've just gone for fresh air, I'm sure.
408
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,740
Emmett, are you going
to do something about this,
409
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,992
or shall I go
and look for them myself?
410
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,285
All right, dear.
411
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,703
- Captain Murdock?
- Yes sir.
412
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:44,040
My daughter and her escort
seem to have disappeared.
413
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,625
Would you see if you can locate them?
414
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,918
I want this whole place
thoroughly searched. I'm worried.
415
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,045
Yes, ma'am.
Right away.
416
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:57,053
♪ She's gone away for to stay
417
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,930
♪ A little while
418
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:04,810
♪ But she's coming back
419
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:10,441
♪ If she goes 10,000 miles
420
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:17,740
♪ Oh, who will tie my shoe?
421
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:24,288
♪ And who will glove my hand?
422
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:30,127
♪And who will kiss
my ruby lips
423
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:34,173
♪ When she is gone?
424
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:38,552
♪ Gone away
425
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:43,391
♪ Far away
426
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:48,229
♪ Over yonder
427
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:54,151
♪ She's gone away
428
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,445
♪ For to stay
429
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:59,865
♪ A little while
430
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,744
♪ But she's coming back
431
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:10,751
♪ If she goes 10,000 miles
432
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:16,465
♪ Oh, it's Pappy
who'll tie my shoes
433
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:24,974
♪And Mammy
who'll glove my hand
434
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:31,772
♪ And you will kiss
my ruby lips
435
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:36,277
♪ When she is gone
436
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,614
♪ Gone away
437
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:45,745
♪ Far away
438
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:49,874
♪ Over yonder ♪
439
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,713
Wonderful. Wonderful.
Oh, Gomer, you're good.
440
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:58,257
- Why did you keep it such a secret?
- Well, I...
441
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,300
If I had known sooner,
442
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,385
we could have left
that dull dance even earlier.
443
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,305
I'm sorry
the dance was so dull.
444
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:07,975
I guess all that talk about the M14 rifle
wasn't very interesting.
445
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:12,480
Not that I'm talking down the M14 rifle.
It was just that I didn't...
446
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,774
It's just that this is so much nicer.
447
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,443
[siren wailing]
448
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:21,197
Must be some sort of trouble.
449
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:23,991
Appears like they're lookin' for somebody.
450
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,534
Go ahead, Gomer, sing another.
451
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:29,205
Well, would you like to hear
452
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:32,041
Rain Come With Me
'Cause I'm Dirty, Dirty, Dirty?
453
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:35,503
Gomer, that's marvelous.
This is so much fun.
454
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:37,838
I'm sure glad
you're enjoying it, Miss Jane.
455
00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:40,966
I am.
Thank you, Gomer.
456
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,220
Thank you very much.
457
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:53,062
[Mrs. Harper] There, you saw that.
458
00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:54,396
You saw that, didn't you?
459
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,857
Did you see that?
Oh, Jane, I've been so worried.
460
00:21:56,857 --> 00:21:58,442
You can call off the search, Captain.
461
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,528
- Yes, sir.
- Jane, darling, are you all right?
462
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:02,279
- Oh, Mother!
- Take it easy, Edna.
463
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,281
I just had a feeling it would end
like this. I just knew it.
464
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:06,784
Mother, if you'll just calm down
for a minute. You don't understand.
465
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:09,870
- Jane, we'll take care of... Jane.
- But, Mother...
466
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,374
Now, young man, suppose you
explain what made you think
467
00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:15,209
you could take liberties
with our daughter?
468
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:17,795
Well, it looked to me as if
it was Jane who was doing the kissing.
469
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:19,755
I think I know my daughter.
470
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:21,006
Well?
471
00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,509
I sure am sorry, Mrs. Harper.
472
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,386
It's a little late for that, Private,
473
00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:27,012
and it's not good enough.
474
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,180
Emmett,
475
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,766
- I insist that he be punished.
- Oh, Edna.
476
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,060
Daddy, don't.
Don't you dare do a thing to him.
477
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:35,104
I am the one who did the kissing.
478
00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:36,564
- Now, Miss Jane...
- Jane!
479
00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:38,649
Yes, it's true,
and I'm not ashamed of it.
480
00:22:38,649 --> 00:22:41,068
I kissed him because
I wanted to. That's why.
481
00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,027
Jane, stop this.
482
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,696
Yes, Mother, and I liked it.
483
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,615
So much that I think I'll kiss him again.
484
00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:47,992
And then again.
485
00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:49,326
And again.
486
00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:50,619
And again.
487
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:51,954
And again.
488
00:22:54,415 --> 00:22:55,875
Excuse me, ma'am.
489
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,085
Sir, while all this is goin' on,
490
00:22:58,085 --> 00:23:00,296
do I have your permission
to stand at ease?
491
00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:08,220
Thanks, Dad.
492
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,346
For what?
493
00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:11,515
You know, for sort of
staying on my side,
494
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:14,560
and helping me do what I've been wanting
to do for a long time.
495
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,104
- Well, uh...
- And, uh, Daddy,
496
00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:19,273
while we're sort of on the subject.
497
00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:21,567
I do want to go
to a coed school next year.
498
00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:22,943
Will you back me up?
499
00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:24,570
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
500
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:26,989
Your mother's had a big shock tonight.
501
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,198
Thank you, Private.
502
00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:31,118
Shoot, I didn't do nothin', sir.
503
00:23:31,118 --> 00:23:32,578
[laughing] I'm not so sure.
504
00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:36,040
- Good night, Janie.
- Good night, Daddy.
505
00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:44,340
Well, good night, Miss Jane.
506
00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:47,301
I sure hope I see you again sometimes.
507
00:23:47,301 --> 00:23:49,345
I had a real nice time.
508
00:23:50,179 --> 00:23:52,556
And you know something?
509
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:56,185
You're real nice,
and you're real pretty, too.
510
00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:57,811
Thank you, Gomer.
511
00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:01,315
Well, go ahead, son.
512
00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:03,984
It's all right,
her mother's gone to bed.
38488
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