All language subtitles for Family Guy - S15E11 - Gronkowsbees (Uncensored)

♪ It seems today
that all you see

♪ Is violence in
movies and sex on TV

♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values

♪ On which we used to rely?

♪ Lucky there's a family guy

♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do

♪ All the things
that make us

♪ Laugh and cry

♪ He's a family guy ♪

Wide open in the end zone.

Touchdown, Patriots.

Beautiful pass by Tom Brady.

Yeah, Brady!
He's awesome.

I can't believe Gisele
gets to sleep with him.

I wish I was a supermodel.

Hey, it's a commercial.

Jerome, switch it
over to the RedZone.

Screw that. I say
we put on the Bone Zone.

What's that?
Oh, it's awesome.

They show every sex scene on TV

without all
the boring dialogue and plot.

Okay, once again,
nothing is happening
on Homeland.

But over on Masters of Sex,

Lizzy Caplan is
hooked up to electrodes

and gettin' it from a guy
who sounds American,
but probably isn't.

Hey, we're gonna
split the screens now,

because my
producer is telling me

on Game of Thrones,
we got a malnourished albino

plowing a girl in
a tub as he names dragons.

Oh, there's a Bone Zone Alert
for Girls, which we'll ignore.

'Cause it's Gaby Hoffmann
Donald-Ducking it.

Last time we went to that,
we lost a lot of subscribers.

And we're keeping
an eye on The Knick.

We don't want to
bring you dead boobs,

but if they're alive,
we'll get you over there.

Oh, crap. It's almost 3:00.
I gotta get out of here.

For what? It's Sunday.

The airline's
making us all attend
a seminar about what to do

if someone flies a drone
into your flight path.

Yeah, I hear that kind
of obnoxious behavior
is very big right now

in the Dangerous Idiot
community.

Really? I didn't see that
in the newsletter this month.

Just a big article
about how to tailgate

a speeding fire truck
to get places faster.

Wait till
they get to the golf course
and find out there's no fire.

No, it's a serious problem.

Nowadays any moron
can just order a drone online.

Oh.
There's no regulation.

Oh!

And most of them have cameras

so people can spy on
whoever they want.

Invade their privacy.
Oh!

Peter, are you
ordering a drone right now?

You bet your ass I am.
Owning a drone
is gonna be a blast.

Even more fun
than when I had
breakfast in bread.

Hi, Lois,
it's a great morning.
No matter how you slice it.

I don't know
what this is, Peter.

But we're four months
behind on our mortgage.

Well, that's odd.
It's not like
we're short on dough.

I'm taking
the kids and I'm staying
at my parents' for a while.

That's the yeast of my concerns.

Oh, Brian, you finally made it.

I'm having a tea party,
sit down.

Yeah, you texted me,
like, 80 times.

Look, Stewie,
I don't have time to sip air

and pretend to eat
a wooden hamburger patty.

Yeah? Tell me why
you don't have time.

All right, I have time.

And there's nothing
pretend about this.

Real tea, real milk,
and the best honey

you'll ever taste
in your whole life.

Wow, this is good.

Where'd you buy the honey?
I didn't, I'm raising bees.

You're raising bees?
Like a beekeeper?

Yup. Mom missed
soccer registration,
so this is my weekends.

Mmm. I gotta say,
you're good at it.

You know, you could
probably sell this stuff.

Really?
You think it's that good?

Yeah, plus it's local,
it's straight from the hive.

People at farmers' markets
would go nuts for this.

You know, you could
probably charge,
like, $20, $30 a jar.

Now I'm excited
about this, Brian.

I feel like an eighth
grader who just had sex.

So. You go all the way?
Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna need some proof.

Hmm. How can I prove it?
Maybe with Father O'Leary's
briefs!

Oh!
The king.

He said he loved me.

All right.
Time to take flight,
Drone of Arcadia.

Oh, Amber Tamblyn.

I love that show.

Now married to David Cross.

Can I have a turn?
I want a turn.

No.

Hey, does Cleveland
have a bald spot?

No.
Hey, what's this do?

Check it out.
Here comes a hawk.

Uh-oh. What's happening?

Argh!

No, I don't think
this is consensual!

Look at that pervert squirrel
just watching.

Ah, crap. It's busted.
And I bet it's
completely traumatized.

I wasn't traumatized actually,
it was planned.

Part of the games we play.

I've been a bad drone.

Peter, you've been
knocking a while.

I don't think anyone's in there.

Yeah, look at all
this mail. Maybe he's on
vacation or something.

Oh, my God, he's dead.
And his face and
earlobes are missing!

Oh, that's a relief.
It's just the cat

that ate his face and ears off.

So, Brian, this is my hive.

Now, how many bees
do you think are in here?

I don't know, a million?

No, it's 4,000.

Now that seems like nothing
because of your idiot
million guess.

All right, now, if you're
going to sell honey at
the farmers' market,

you need to practice.

So you be the salesman
and I'll be the customer.

Ooh, what do we have here?

Uh, honey, like the sign says.

I find your attitude cavalier.
May I speak to your manager?

Stewie, come on.

I'm sorry,
is there a problem here?

I was just in the back
and I heard a commotion.

How do we have a back?

I simply came here
to inquire about honey

and your employee
spoke to me loudly
and with profanity.

Stewie, this is ridiculous.

Brian, please. I trust that
this handsome,
young customer

knows what he's talking about.

Oh, my. And I thought
only bees pour on the honey.

I'm going inside.

So, are you from around here?

No, I'm just in town for the
John Singer Sargent exhibit

at the museum.

Really?
I've been looking
for an excuse to go again.

Well, looks like I won't
need that audio tour.

Great. Give me one minute,
let me text my fiancee.

Your what?

That was Bonnie.
She said they already
sold the house behind us.

Poor Mr. Seagull.

What the hell is that?

Oh, God.
Please don't let that be
our new neighbors.

What is it?
Some kind of crazy van

with the number 87 on the side.

87?

That's not a van, Lois.
That's a party bus.

Rob Gronkowski's party bus!

Who's that?

Only the star tight end
of the New England Patriots

and America's
most athletic Polish.

Did you guys see?

Oh, my God!
That was Rob Gronkowski.

Am I running?
Is this what running is?

I hate it.

What's up, butt munchers?

That's us!
He called us butt munchers.

We're butt munchers.

All right.
Time to Gronk a dump
in my new house.

Oh. My. God.
Our new neighbor is Gronk.

Hey, I'm your new mailman.

Former star of
The Incredible Hulk.
Lou Ferrigno.

On any other day,
that would be so exciting.

Please give me my mail and go.

What the hell are you doing?

I wanted to bring over something

to welcome Gronk
to the neighborhood,

so I scraped
all the Cool Ranch
off of 15 bags of Doritos.

You're bringing
him a bowl of powder?

Yeah, I thought he could
eat it by the fistful or
rub it on his balls.

Peter, I don't know
what you're so excited about.

Rob Gronkowski is
probably the worst neighbor
we could ask for.

You know he's
gonna be partying
day and night.

It's not like it's
that tasty piece of ass,
Julian Edelman.

Now there's a Patriot
you can get excited about.

I know he's a wide receiver,
but if he's giving,
I'm taking.

I'll take it all,
I'll take it wherever.

Ah!

Anyway, go suck up
to your big dumb monster.

I'll be here hooking the G
to thoughts of Edelman.

So what did you
get him, Cleveland?
Oreo middles.

Whoa! Four
standing dogs?

No, we're people, sir.

Um, Mr. Gronk,
I'm Peter Griffin,

I live in
the house behind yours.

We wanted to welcome you
to the neighborhood.

Awesome.

You spiked it.

I was hoping he would do that.

My eyes!

Hey, you guys seem great.

You wanna come in
and eat pizza standing up?

Uh, yeah.
Cool.

You mind if
I call you all "Grover"?
I don't like learning names.

Yeah, sure, that'd be sweet.

Well, come on in, Grover.

He knows my name!

Oh, my God, you guys.

Having Gronk here
is gonna be the best.

Kind of like those years
when it was just
Marley and me.

Hey, my dog's chewing
up that thing I need.

Hey, my dirty dog
is jumping in
the neighbor's pool.

Wait, Marley,
don't shake your wet fur

in the middle of
this fancy party.

I'm gonna lay down
these work blueprints
on the floor,

and I sure hope you don't
walk across them
with muddy paws.

Marley!

Oh, my nightmare dog is dead.

Marley & Me.

Workout room.

Kegerator cellar.

Another workout room.

And over here's
a room that's just got

a lit candle on a bale of hay.

Is that just
'cause of the danger?

That's exactly why.

My dumb wife won't let me
have a room like that.

Do you have a wife?

What's going on?

Let's go check out the hot tub.

Check it out,
my hot tub is
filled with coffee.

Grab a donut, go to town.
Sponsored by Dunkin' Donuts.

And the pool is filled
with my favorite food.

Soup with little shapes in it.
Sponsored by Campbell's Soup.

Oh, alphabet soup
is my favorite, too.

What's a albaphet?

Nothing. What you
said is not anything.

And check out the shower.

Ultra Sunrise
Monster Energy Drink.

Sponsored by
Monster Energy Drink.

Why do you keep saying
what things are sponsored by?

My manager said if I don't,
I won't go to heaven.

Sponsored by SMS Audio
sweat-proof sport headphones.

Well, you were right.
The farmers' market
is wonderful.

You've got your yoga pants moms,

you've got your mixed-race kids

riding a pony,
a confused Jerome.

What is this?
A vegetable parking lot?

Now, remember to tell
customers that this honey
is farm to table.

We're not a restaurant,
that doesn't make any sense.

Doesn't have to.
Say "anything-to-anything,"

people lose their minds.

Just so you know,
this is all grass-to-bottle.

Ooh.
I know, right?
That'll be $68.

Is this a super food?

Total super food.
Full of GMOs.

GMOs are bad.

No GMOs whatsoever.

Amazing.

Wow, this is great.
We've only been here an hour

and we're almost
totally sold out.

Yes, I didn't see that coming.

Just like Dan Cortese
didn't see the end
of the '90s coming.

Three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

Dan Cortese was the only thing
in the entire world

affected by Y2K.

Grovers, you made it.
Here, have a beer.

Thanks. Hey, Gronk,

you know, there's something
I always wanted to ask you.

When you know you
have single coverage,

do you give
a hand signal to Brady
or is it just eye contact?

I don't know,
wanna see me dance?

I ask because sometimes
you're being covered
by a little guy,

and then you
and Brady will look
at each other, and...

Am I...
Am I supposed
to touch you?

What am I...
What am I doing here?

Oh, I'm sorry, bro,
what was the question?

I just want
to know if you and Brady

have, like,
a secret hand signal
or something?

Whoa, that is top secret,
but lean in and I'll tell you.

How rude.

Hey, wanna meet my family?
These are my brothers.

Actually, one of
them is my dad.
I'm not sure which.

Probably the gray-haired one
with the whiskey face sunburn.

Oh, it's an honor
to meet you, sir.
You must be very proud.

Hell yeah.
I think every dad's dream

is taking his
son's sloppy seconds.

Is your mom here, too?

They don't have a mom.

My ex-wife raised them,
God bless her.

But genetically,
they're a product

of me blammin' on
to a side of beef.

All right,
since we sold out so fast,

we gotta make
these bees more productive.

Get them to make more honey.

How're we gonna do that?

Steroids, Brian.

This here is the same stuff

that turned Barry Bonds' head
into a prize-winning squash.

Okay, well, how much
are we supposed to give them?

Hmm. It says this is
enough for a horse.
So...

I don't know,
how many bees is a horse?

Well, you can't fit
a horse in this box,

so I'd just use the whole thing.

That makes sense.

Barry Bonds says
that's too much steroids.

Time for bed, Barry.

God, they're still going?

Peter, this is exactly
what I told you would happen.

Not so much fun anymore, is it?

Oh, thank God,
maybe they're wrapping it up.

Noise! Noise!

Loud noise, noise,
and a Civil War cannon.

Damn it, I can't take anymore!
He is the worst neighbor ever.

You won't believe
what he did yesterday.

Hey, Grover, catch!

Uh, listen, Gronk, um,
it's getting kind of late.

Don't you think
maybe it's time
to call it a night?

Yeah, sure.
Hey, you ever seen
a nard explode?

A what? A nard?

I don't... Is that something
on the Internet? 'Cause I...

Ah, damn it, what the hell!

Nice shot, there.

Come on, don't get mad, bro.
I was just kidding.

You were kidding?
What was the joke?

This was.

Oh, damn it, you hit the seam.

You know what?
You're a jerk, Gronk.

That's it.
I'm getting rid
of that bastard.

Just like I helped
kick the British
out of America.

This tyranny shall not stand.

For without liberty...

Ah, crap,
he's even in the cutaways.

Just...
Just go to commercial.

I'm gonna squat here
and hold on to this bench.

Peter, you gotta
figure something out.

They haven't
stopped partying
the whole night.

- Yeah!
- Gronk!

- Party!
- On the deck.

I'm sorry,
you were right all along.

But don't worry,
I'll take care of it.

Well, you better
do something soon.
I can't live like this.

I know.
That guy's more annoying

than going to
an Italian restaurant

with someone
who's been to Italy.

They call this a trattoria?
More like a ristorante to me.

Look at that fresco.
Supposed to be
the hills of Elba.

Not once you've seen 'em.

Are you ready to order?
Si.

Let me handle this, Peter.
Two spaghettis
and a chicken fingers.

God, look at all
the honey the bees made.

Those steroids were
a great idea, Stewie.

Hey, look, that bee's trying
to get our honey.

Okay, Mr. Bee, we'll give you
the employee discount.

After all you... Ah!

Holy crap,
that thing just lifted
a whole jar of honey.

Oh, God. Do you think
that's one of
our steroid bees?

Well, this one's wearing
a hoodie as a shirt,

so, yeah, I think
these are ours.

Stewie, I have a bad
feeling about...

Oh, God,
it just ate the other bee!

Okay, so a few of them
had a bad reaction to...
Oh, crap.

Oh, my God. Brian, run!

I think maybe giving
those bees steroids
was a bad idea.

Turn on the wipers.

You sure this is
gonna work, Peter?

Absolutely.

Gronk went to
the University of Arizona.

And everyone who went
to the University of Arizona

believes leprechauns are real.

And since
Cleveland already owns
a green suit and a top hat...

This is my Easter clothes.

Whoa! A leprechaun.

Say the thing.

Top of the morning
to you, Mr. Gronkowski.

Have you any interest
in a pot of gold?

All you have to do is
move to Tallahassee.

Wait a minute,
this is just a disguise.

Son of a bitch!

What's going on here?
Are you guys trying
to get rid of me?

Yeah, we're trying
to get rid of you!
Why?

'Cause you're
a pain in the ass
to live next to.

I mean, what the hell, Gronk,
why you gotta be like this?

You're a millionaire.

You have the sweetest
job in the world. You
could do whatever you want.

Why you gotta act like
such an idiot all the time?

It's not a choice, Grover,
but rather, an obligation.

You see,
I've been groomed for this
my entire life.

Scoring touchdowns,
making people laugh.

Punishing my body,
enduring the pain.

All in the name
of entertainment.

Don't you understand?
I'm a commodity.

A product,
a modern-day gladiator.

You ask about
the whys and the wherefores
behind the boorish facade.

The answer is simple.

I play the jester
because society
deems it necessary.

Also, I'm fucking insane!

Eat a butt, fatty.
Gronk ain't going nowhere.

Oh, that's it!

Oh, cool, we're fighting?

You guys mind if I eat
while I beat you up?

What the hell are
we supposed to do?
We're surrounded.

Hang on, I got this.

Meg, come outside.
We have Pinkberry.

Ow, ow.
Stop. Stop it!

All right, they're distracted.
Let's go!

Quick! We just have to
get rid of the queen.

She's in the hive.
What's that gonna do?

The bees instinctively
stay with the queen.

So if she's gone,
they'll follow her.

Okay, great,
but how are we gonna do it?

You guys are bad fighters.

That's his third sub.

Oh, cool. Honey rain.

Ah! Oh, my God,
is that a bee?
You have bees here?

Uh, yeah, it's the world.

Holy crap,
there's a ton of them.

Dad, start up the party bus.
We're moving.

Bees?
Yeah, bees.

And they're showing blitz.
We gotta leave on two.

You think their
Wi-Fi is "Badge down"?

Yeah, that's probably them.

Look at that, no password.

Thank goodness, we finally
have our neighborhood back.

Yeah, now maybe
Wilson can move back in

and give me homespun wisdom
over the fence.

Peter, that was
Home Improvement.

It's exhausting
that you never just go
with something I say.

Coming up, yesterday's brisket.

But first, breaking news.

Rob Gronkowski has been
suspended from the Patriots

following a failed
drug test that showed

evidence of
steroids in his system.

The star athlete
claims he has no idea

how the banned substance
got into his body.

Oh, no way!
That's terrible.

When pressed for
further comment,
Mr. Gronkowski said simply,

"Grover, go long."

Uh-oh.