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♪ It seems today
that all you see
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00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:08,173
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:11,877
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,946
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:18,250
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,469
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:23,099
♪ All the things
that make us
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00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,823
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:29,862
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:36,680
Hey, great idea
bringing the couch
out here
11
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:37,748
from your den, Peter.
12
00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:39,215
Yeah, Lois and I
dragged it out here
13
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:40,650
last night
for a little hump sesh,
14
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,394
so I figured I'd let it dry.
15
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,958
Couch.
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00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:46,239
That's one of those
words that if you say it
over and over
17
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:47,729
it starts to sound silly.
18
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,976
Joe, you need to take
a class on small talk.
19
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,317
You're not gonna believe this.
I'm in one.
20
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,486
It sure is cloudy today.
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00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,903
Good.
22
00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:59,285
You could have also
responded to Janet,
who said her son died.
23
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,928
I'm sorry your son died
on such a cloudy day.
24
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:10,102
All right,
kids, here's your bacon.
25
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,314
I call the paper towel!
26
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:13,038
Ah, damn it!
27
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:16,007
You gotta move fast
when Meg's at the table,
Brian.
28
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,911
All right, well,
I get the box
when we have pizza for dinner.
29
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:20,223
Mmm-mmm.
It doesn't work that way.
30
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,475
You gotta call it
when it's happening.
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00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:23,765
Good morning, family.
32
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,779
I'll be out front with
the guys if anybody needs me.
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00:01:25,803 --> 00:01:27,347
Peter, I thought
we were gonna try
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00:01:27,371 --> 00:01:29,132
to get the garden
going again today.
35
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:32,841
I know, sweetie,
but then I realized
how stupid that is.
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00:01:32,910 --> 00:01:35,443
Okay, bye.
You guys are my everything.
37
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,061
Why'd you ever marry him?
38
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:40,665
Believe it or not,
he used to look like
a young Gene Hackman.
39
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:43,118
That's...
That's not even good.
40
00:01:43,621 --> 00:01:44,621
It's gone!
41
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:45,954
What? What's gone?
42
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,507
Our drinking couch!
Somebody must've stole it!
43
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:50,520
You left a couch
out on the curb?
44
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,605
Well,
somebody probably thought
it was trash and took it.
45
00:01:52,629 --> 00:01:55,341
You said you were
gonna bring the couch
right back in!
46
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,665
What were you thinking?
47
00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:58,077
I'll tell you
what I was thinking.
48
00:01:58,101 --> 00:01:59,979
I was thinking we lived
in a safe neighborhood.
49
00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:01,503
But apparently I was wrong!
50
00:02:01,572 --> 00:02:03,516
Wait, you're saying you were...
51
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,644
Oh, I get it.
The Fonz can't say "wrong."
52
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,647
No, Peter, he's 70.
He's having a stroke.
53
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,784
Wow, Peter, I think
starting a community
watch is a great idea.
54
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,408
Yeah, I even got
shirts made up for us.
55
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,855
This is quality work.
Where did you get these?
56
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,279
Via the Web?
57
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,898
Hey, listen, Joe,
you think you can
get us all guns?
58
00:02:29,967 --> 00:02:31,528
No, Peter,
they're too dangerous.
59
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,785
Besides, you can't
just go get a gun.
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00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:36,021
You have to be
certified in gun safety,
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00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,256
go through an extensive
background screening process.
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00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,707
Got 'em.
63
00:02:39,776 --> 00:02:40,887
Oh, how'd you get 'em so quick?
64
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:42,411
It was easy.
65
00:02:42,479 --> 00:02:44,940
Like pressing
that Easy button
at the office supply store.
66
00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:47,010
Hey, thanks for
all your help.
No problem.
67
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,745
Why don't you go ahead
and hit the Easy button.
68
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:49,902
Okay.
69
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:52,437
What did I just do?
70
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,738
Don't worry about it.
71
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,557
Hey, Quagmire, you're a sex guy.
72
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,781
You watch
any good pornos lately?
73
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,184
I mean... I guess.
74
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:09,031
So what's your pleasure?
What kind of movies
you like?
75
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:12,056
I don't know.
MILF stuff's kind of cool.
76
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,258
What about you?
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00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:16,094
Me? I have
very particular tastes.
78
00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:17,307
I like a soapy bottom.
79
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,663
What?
80
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:22,066
Soft-core soaped-up butts,
like from a PG-13 camp movie.
81
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,703
I can't get enough of it.
Drives me wild.
82
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,015
Okay, let's talk
about something else.
83
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,739
All right, uh...
84
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,588
It's kind of too cool
for the air-conditioner
85
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,590
and too warm
for the heater, huh?
86
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,649
Ah, gotta walk
that boner off, huh?
87
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,967
Yeah.
88
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,000
Hey, guys,
you better come with me.
89
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,701
There's some weird, big-nose guy
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00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,259
hiding in the bushes
outside some chick's house.
91
00:03:49,779 --> 00:03:53,681
"My heart always
timidly hides itself
behind my mind.
92
00:03:55,018 --> 00:03:58,519
"I set out to bring down
stars from the sky."
93
00:03:59,756 --> 00:04:01,356
"Ow, ow.
94
00:04:01,425 --> 00:04:03,958
"Oh, my God,
four men are beating me.
95
00:04:04,027 --> 00:04:06,494
"My arm.
I think it is broken.
96
00:04:06,563 --> 00:04:09,364
"Who are you guys? Why? Why?
97
00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:12,834
"I'll give you anything
if you would
only stop hitting me.
98
00:04:12,902 --> 00:04:16,304
"Please stop pulling my nose.
It is not fake.
99
00:04:16,373 --> 00:04:18,206
"I think I am dying.
100
00:04:18,274 --> 00:04:20,875
"Please take me
to the hospital."
101
00:04:20,944 --> 00:04:22,811
Your words have bewitched me.
102
00:04:22,879 --> 00:04:24,746
I need your arms around me.
103
00:04:26,216 --> 00:04:27,982
"Come to my chamber at once."
104
00:04:28,051 --> 00:04:29,650
And bring pound cake.
105
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,286
"And bring pound cake."
106
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,477
Peter, please come to bed.
Enough of
the community watch.
107
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:40,461
We live on a very safe street.
108
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,115
Lois, you wouldn't believe
the things we see out there.
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00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:46,118
There was a kid
riding his bike
while holding a tennis racket.
110
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,826
For real.
Come on!
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00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,032
Let's fool around,
or watch a movie,
112
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:53,024
or finally click that
Crackle icon on the TV.
113
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,427
Lois, I am an
unelected vigilante
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00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,729
and I take my job
very seriously.
115
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,464
Like Serious George.
116
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:02,016
Hey, George,
wanna go to the park?
117
00:05:02,086 --> 00:05:03,452
Uh, thank you, but no.
118
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,232
It's a beautiful day.
Lots of mischief
to get into.
119
00:05:06,256 --> 00:05:09,357
I don't doubt that,
but as you can see,
I'm pretty busy.
120
00:05:09,426 --> 00:05:11,993
I'm trying to get
a head start on my taxes.
121
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:16,398
Oh, I see.
Trying to figure out
a way to deduct bananas?
122
00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:18,933
Ah! 'Cause I eat bananas.
Terrific.
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00:05:19,002 --> 00:05:21,269
Hey, you're inside,
so don't wear a hat.
124
00:05:21,338 --> 00:05:24,473
Unless you're leaving,
which would be terrific also.
125
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,733
What the hell? Hey, you!
126
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,203
Step away from that table.
127
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,623
Brain fart. Window. Sorry.
128
00:05:42,692 --> 00:05:44,025
Hold it right there!
129
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,210
I'm warning you!
Hands where I can see 'em.
130
00:05:56,706 --> 00:05:58,122
Cleveland Jr.?
131
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,458
Mr. Griffin! You shot me!
132
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,160
Oh, my God!
133
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,578
Peter, where are you?
134
00:06:04,647 --> 00:06:06,047
Peter?
135
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,817
Okay, I'm starting
The Good Wife without you.
136
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:12,837
Unlike you,
I just dodged a bullet.
137
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:23,814
Okay, next is the brown family.
138
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,883
Oh, my goodness.
I'm... I'm so sorry.
139
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:28,186
Sometimes I write descriptions
of my patients
140
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,295
to help me remember them.
141
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,989
No, it's okay.
Our last name is Brown.
142
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,691
Oh, okay. Phew.
143
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,228
Ah, then this must be
Chubster Dumb-Dumb.
144
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,180
I'm sorry, sir.
No visitors.
145
00:06:39,249 --> 00:06:42,361
Excuse me,
I'll have you know
I'm the shooter!
146
00:06:42,385 --> 00:06:43,517
So, how's he doing?
147
00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:44,719
"How's he doing?"
148
00:06:44,787 --> 00:06:47,621
How do you think he's doing!
You shot my son!
149
00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:49,307
Look, Cleveland, I'm real sorry.
150
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:52,677
I thought someone was
breaking into your house,
and I panicked.
151
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,045
It was dark.
152
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:55,574
I don't know
why he didn't just say
it was him.
153
00:06:55,598 --> 00:06:56,831
I couldn't hear you.
154
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,400
I was listening to music,
I went to turn it down,
155
00:06:59,469 --> 00:07:01,836
and the next thing
I know, you shot me!
156
00:07:01,905 --> 00:07:03,249
Why the hell were you
climbing in the window
157
00:07:03,273 --> 00:07:04,872
of your own house anyway?
158
00:07:04,941 --> 00:07:08,359
My dad says opening the door
lets out too much
air-conditioning.
159
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,628
I already have
a bullet in my son,
160
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,308
I don't need one in my wallet.
161
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,844
You wouldn't
have fired that gun
if he was white!
162
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,568
That's not true,
I'll shoot anybody.
163
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:17,669
Joe, give me your gun.
164
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,415
Here you go...
Hey, wait a second!
165
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,405
Look, let's all just calm down.
166
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,941
Calm down?
167
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:25,888
I want this racist
out the room,
and I want him arrested!
168
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:28,747
Racist? I put these
gloves on for everybody.
169
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,381
Oh, you're talking to him.
170
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:33,095
Look, the police department
has deemed
the shooting accidental.
171
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,352
Given the circumstances,
172
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:36,655
Peter was within his rights
to fire his weapon.
173
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,891
And what about
my son's rights
not to be shot?
174
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,711
Look, Cleveland...
Latisha?
175
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:45,163
I thought he had a gun.
176
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,832
I'd never want to do anything
to hurt you or your family.
177
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:48,900
You're my friend.
178
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,268
I was your friend.
179
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:53,588
Now, get out of here!
You're nothing
but a worthless bigot!
180
00:07:57,027 --> 00:07:58,826
Wow, I really messed up.
181
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,879
I haven't felt this bad
since I drove by
that speed sign.
182
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:10,990
Ah...
183
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,336
Hey, does anybody know
if Cleveland's coming by?
184
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:26,704
I was hoping to apologize
and collect his deposit
185
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,073
for the community watch shirts.
186
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:30,108
I talked
to him earlier. He...
187
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,988
He doesn't want to be
anywhere near you.
188
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,073
Hey, look.
They're talking
about the shooting.
189
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,431
Good evening.Two nights agothere was a shooting
190
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,233
right here in our own backyard.
191
00:08:38,301 --> 00:08:41,969
The victim,a 14-year-old boynamed Cleveland Brown Jr.
192
00:08:42,038 --> 00:08:44,472
Joining me tonightis his father,Cleveland Brown.
193
00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:47,108
So that's not really Quahog?
It's just a big picture?
194
00:08:47,177 --> 00:08:49,627
Now, Mr. Brown,
I understand you're trying
to get the police
195
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,295
to reopen the investigation?
196
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,830
That's right, Tom.
197
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,411
My family and I
believe this shooting
was a hate crime,
198
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,313
and we'd like to see
Mr. Griffin
199
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,115
held accountable
for his actions.
200
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,088
Hate crime? That's crazy!
201
00:09:01,158 --> 00:09:02,723
I love all people!
202
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:06,711
I love blacks,
I love Asians, hell,
I even love gay Aborigines.
203
00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:21,175
Well, this is just great, Peter.
204
00:09:21,244 --> 00:09:23,160
Everyone in town hates us now.
205
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,908
The cashier
at the grocery store
told her to "push on,"
206
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,576
and then she
snapped her fingers,
207
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,579
and now I think
she's my new favorite
lady in the world.
208
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:33,287
I don't understand.
I'm not a racist.
209
00:09:33,356 --> 00:09:34,922
It's well documented
210
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:38,509
that my dream three-way
is S. Epatha Merkerson
and CCH Pounder.
211
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,846
S., this is CCH.
CCH, this is S.
212
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,826
It is my intention
that we conduct this
213
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,017
with both sexiness and dignity.
214
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,797
Peter, this is
a hot-button issue.
215
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:50,421
I mean, you shot
an African-American kid.
216
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:52,234
Of course this isn't
just gonna go away.
217
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,771
Well, there's got to be
something I can do
to make things right.
218
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:57,395
I'll just have to
prove to everybody
that I'm not a racist.
219
00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:58,908
How are you gonna do that?
220
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,565
Well, for starters,
I'm gonna head over
to the YMCA.
221
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,668
There's nothing
black guys like more than
222
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:06,654
out-of-shape
indoor-basketball white guys.
223
00:10:08,125 --> 00:10:10,925
Hey! I'm trying my best here.
224
00:10:10,994 --> 00:10:13,912
And trying is
what matters most of all.
225
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,058
You're right, Peter.
226
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,459
We need to give you a chance,
227
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:18,227
no matter what color
your skin is.
228
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,131
Come on, let's play some ball.
229
00:10:21,571 --> 00:10:26,341
"And then Peter
and his new friends
went for ice cream." The end.
230
00:10:27,944 --> 00:10:30,512
Okay, kids,
are your parents
out of the room?
231
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:33,548
Good. Let's get back
to Sloppy Floppers magazine.
232
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,473
What are you doing?
233
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,320
Lois, to show I'm in touch
with what it's like
to be African-American,
234
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,277
I am gonna go
to the middle of
the town square,
235
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,312
get naked
and paint myself brown.
236
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,326
No, no, that's offensive.
237
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:53,162
You can't
pretend to be black.
That's a stupid idea.
238
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,119
What?
It's a stupid idea!
239
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:59,223
You're a stupid man!
A stupid, stupid man!
240
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,793
Ow! You're hurting me!
Stop it, stop it, Lois!
241
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:04,295
No! I'm so sick
of your crap.
242
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,798
Why do you always do
these stupid things?
243
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:10,134
And why do you
always announce them to me
before you do them?
244
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,537
Are you trying to
get a rise out of me?
245
00:11:12,606 --> 00:11:14,171
Are you happy now?
246
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,974
Is this what you want?
247
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:18,109
Oh, no, it's not what I want!
248
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:21,412
It's not what I want.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
249
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,583
It's never been
this bad before.
What do we do?
250
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:27,785
What we always do.
251
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,855
I'm in charge of my head,
that much I know!
252
00:11:36,746 --> 00:11:38,979
What the hell
are you doing
on my property?
253
00:11:39,048 --> 00:11:40,893
Look, it's time
we bury the hatchet.
254
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,795
So I brought a bottle
of your favorite booze.
255
00:11:42,819 --> 00:11:44,997
Now let's just have a drink
and put this all behind us.
256
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,754
I don't want nothing from you.
257
00:11:46,823 --> 00:11:48,284
Well, hold on,
I got something else.
258
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:49,308
Cigars.
259
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,853
We can smoke 'em together,
all happy
260
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,871
like a bunch of douche bags
outside a wedding.
261
00:11:52,895 --> 00:11:54,095
Peter, get out of here.
262
00:11:54,164 --> 00:11:56,463
I'm never gonna forgive you
for what you did.
263
00:11:56,532 --> 00:11:58,483
Oh, come on.
This'll change your mind.
264
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:03,788
Oh, my God!
Quick, do something!
265
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,359
It's not working.
Get rid of it!
266
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,463
Get your family
out of that house!
267
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,365
If they don't leave,
they'll die.
268
00:12:19,389 --> 00:12:21,300
Round up your family and get out
269
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,434
or you're all gonna be sorry.
270
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:23,725
Get out now!
271
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,322
See, kids, I told you
we'd make friends here.
272
00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:30,148
I guess me getting transferred
by the Xerox Corporation
273
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,366
wasn't the worst thing
after all.
274
00:12:41,477 --> 00:12:42,743
Ah, thank God, Joe.
275
00:12:42,812 --> 00:12:44,740
Are you here to give me
the deposit for the shirts?
276
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,776
No, Peter,
I'm here to place you
under arrest
277
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,916
for the attempted murder
of Cleveland Jr.
278
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:51,345
What are you talkin' about?
You know it was an accident.
279
00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:54,155
Yeah, but let's just say
public opinion has shifted.
280
00:12:54,223 --> 00:12:56,758
And the boys upstairs
said they can
no longer ignore it.
281
00:12:56,826 --> 00:12:58,638
Who the hell are
the "boys upstairs"?
282
00:12:58,662 --> 00:13:00,595
I have no idea.
There's no elevator.
283
00:13:00,664 --> 00:13:03,464
But whoever they are,
they're pretty steamed
about this whole thing.
284
00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,383
Peter, what's going on?
285
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,752
They're taking me to jail!
286
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,286
Oh, my God!
287
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:12,941
Don't worry, Dad!
I'll send you a cake
with a file in it!
288
00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:15,821
These are just the owner manuals
289
00:13:15,845 --> 00:13:17,612
for all our kitchen appliances.
290
00:13:17,681 --> 00:13:19,346
Well, guess I finally
have time to learn
291
00:13:19,415 --> 00:13:21,682
to reset the clock
on the coffee maker.
292
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:24,535
He never did.
293
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,646
You're... You're not
gonna rape me, are you?
294
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,648
Of course
I'm not gonna rape you.
295
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,998
I'm gonna make you
fall in love with me.
296
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:42,320
Then we'll see what happens.
297
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:45,773
Oh, no.
It's already working.
298
00:13:45,841 --> 00:13:48,542
Griffin, you have a visitor.
299
00:13:48,611 --> 00:13:50,256
Carter?
What are you doing here?
300
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,412
Hello, Griffin.
301
00:13:51,481 --> 00:13:52,991
I'd like to talk to you
about these charges
302
00:13:53,015 --> 00:13:54,548
that have been
brought against you.
303
00:13:54,617 --> 00:13:57,318
Why don't we go somewhere
a little more private?
304
00:13:57,387 --> 00:13:59,920
I guess I'll see
you in a little bit?
305
00:13:59,989 --> 00:14:02,134
It's gonna feel
like an eternity.
306
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:05,627
How is it that I'm only
just now meeting you?
307
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,308
Look, Carter,
you gotta believe me.
308
00:14:09,332 --> 00:14:11,916
I didn't shoot Cleveland Jr.
Because he was black!
309
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:13,784
Hey, you don't have to
tell me that.
310
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,621
But the media's out there
making you look
like a monster,
311
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,423
all for exercising
your constitutional rights.
312
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,808
Grover's a monster.
313
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:23,127
But don't worry.
We're gonna get you
out of this.
314
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,795
I'll be damned
if I'm gonna sit back
315
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,430
and let them do this
to one of my own.
316
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,711
What, you mean your family?
317
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,401
Uh? Yeah, yeah, that.
Yeah, right.
318
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,049
Look, I'm gonna
bail you out of here,
set you up with my lawyer,
319
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,555
and get these charges dropped.
320
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,257
Well, how you gonna do that?
321
00:14:36,326 --> 00:14:39,093
Don't worry. I'll come up
with a good story,
and they'll eat it up.
322
00:14:39,162 --> 00:14:43,564
Not like when I read
my JAG fan fiction
at the NCIS convention.
323
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:48,052
"JAG stood up and yelled,
'Objection, Your Honor,
by Navy law.'
324
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,932
"He then turned
to the lady lawyer,
325
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,667
"the gal from the October Maxim,
326
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:55,927
"who still managed to be
hot despite her sexless,
pageboy haircut.
327
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:57,361
"Or perhaps because of it."
328
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,008
- Boo!
- Terrible!
329
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,916
Right branch of the military,
wrong investigative arm!
330
00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:09,868
And I was trying to
get back into my house,
331
00:15:09,892 --> 00:15:12,977
and my neighbor,
Mr. Griffin, shot me.
332
00:15:13,029 --> 00:15:15,029
He said he felt
threatened by me,
333
00:15:15,097 --> 00:15:17,681
and that hurt even worse
than getting shot!
334
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:21,703
Your Honor, permission
to hug the witness?
335
00:15:21,771 --> 00:15:23,004
Granted.
336
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,469
Don't worry,
Mr. Griffin.
337
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,237
You're every bit as sympathetic
338
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,972
as this
chubby-cheeked
cocoa angel.
339
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:32,063
I haven't been listening.
What's goin' on?
340
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,859
I don't think
it's lost on any of us
341
00:15:33,883 --> 00:15:36,050
that the laws are
written on white paper.
342
00:15:36,118 --> 00:15:38,819
Yeah, white paper.
Check your jacket pocket.
343
00:15:38,888 --> 00:15:40,599
"I don't think
it's lost on any of us
344
00:15:40,623 --> 00:15:42,268
"that the laws are
written on white paper."
345
00:15:42,292 --> 00:15:43,769
Hey, look, I'm just saying
346
00:15:43,793 --> 00:15:46,460
it's no surprise that
justice isn't colorblind.
347
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,462
Check your other jacket pocket.
348
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,708
"Hey, look, I'm just saying
349
00:15:49,732 --> 00:15:51,677
"it's no surprise
that justice
isn't colorblind."
350
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:52,844
Stewie, you're a jerk!
351
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,435
Check Chris' pocket.
352
00:15:54,504 --> 00:15:55,914
What? There's nothing
in here, and...
353
00:15:55,938 --> 00:15:58,317
Oh, God, the bottom
of the pocket's
been cut out!
354
00:15:58,341 --> 00:15:59,518
Thanks, Brian!
355
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,876
I was the mastermind
behind this whole thing!
356
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,812
Your witness.
357
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,414
All right, watch this.
358
00:16:06,483 --> 00:16:09,333
This is where
we take control
of the situation.
359
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:12,185
Mr. Brown, you testified
that you were
listening to music
360
00:16:12,254 --> 00:16:13,421
at the time of the shooting.
361
00:16:13,489 --> 00:16:16,257
That's right.
And isn't Jay Z music?
362
00:16:16,325 --> 00:16:17,358
Yes.
363
00:16:17,427 --> 00:16:19,037
And doesn't he have the lyrics,
364
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:23,063
"I put the gun to you.
I'll kill ya, I'll chop ya up,
365
00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:25,666
"put ya inside the mattress
like drug money"?
366
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:30,471
I was listening
to Neil Sedaka's
Hanukkah album.
367
00:16:30,539 --> 00:16:34,208
And isn't true
that your last name
is the same as Chris Brown's?
368
00:16:34,276 --> 00:16:35,821
Yes, but I don't see what...
369
00:16:35,845 --> 00:16:37,912
And what did
Chris Brown do to Rihanna?
370
00:16:37,981 --> 00:16:40,447
He hit her, like, 100 times.
371
00:16:40,516 --> 00:16:42,649
Your Honor, I'd like
to enter into evidence
372
00:16:42,718 --> 00:16:44,785
this photo of
a badly beaten Rihanna,
373
00:16:44,853 --> 00:16:47,555
as well as this print ad
for the Entourage movie.
374
00:16:47,623 --> 00:16:48,722
Why?
375
00:16:48,791 --> 00:16:49,791
I can't unsee this!
376
00:16:49,858 --> 00:16:51,175
Who's this for?
377
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,404
What's he doing?
378
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,545
He's making Cleveland Jr.
Look like a thug.
379
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:56,247
I know. That's the idea.
380
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:57,955
You don't wanna go
back to jail, do you?
381
00:17:03,673 --> 00:17:05,206
I don't know.
382
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,607
Maybe.
383
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:09,710
Mr. Brown,
please pick up this knife.
384
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:10,978
He's got a knife!
385
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,873
This isn't fair!
386
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:25,342
They're making my son
look like a common hoodlum!
387
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:27,778
Joe, you're a cop!
Do something!
388
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,859
No, the soap covers everything.
389
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:33,084
You might see, like,
the very top of the crack,
390
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,402
but that's...
That's not what it's about.
391
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,343
How do you sleep at night?
392
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,796
Propped up on pillows
on account of my fat throat.
393
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,842
If I lay flat on my back, I die.
394
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,500
I need pillows
between my thighs myself.
395
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,702
And this friendship is over!
396
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,942
Thanks for letting me
sit in the back.
397
00:18:03,966 --> 00:18:05,878
I was flipping
people off the whole way.
398
00:18:07,871 --> 00:18:09,921
Get out of here, all of you!
399
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:12,623
My son didn't do anything wrong!
400
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,963
Carter, I think this has
all kind of gone too far.
401
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,143
What do you think you're doing?
402
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,533
I'm gonna make this right.
403
00:18:24,553 --> 00:18:25,836
Everyone! Everyone!
404
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,205
Listen, I have something to say.
405
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:30,624
Cleveland Jr.
Doesn't deserve any of this.
406
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:34,044
All those things
you heard about Cleveland Jr.
were lies.
407
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,512
He didn't do anything to me.
408
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:38,315
He's a good kid
from a good family.
409
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:41,185
I just got scared,
and I did something stupid.
410
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,565
I swear it had nothing to do
with the color of his skin,
411
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:46,339
but I did shoot him.
412
00:18:48,111 --> 00:18:51,312
I deserve to be
held responsible
for my actions.
413
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,698
Even if that means
going to jail.
414
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:56,700
You heard him, other cops.
Let's take him in.
415
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,468
He doesn't know our names,
does he?
416
00:18:58,537 --> 00:18:59,737
I don't think he does.
417
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:06,760
Wait a minute.
Peter didn't shoot my son.
418
00:19:06,829 --> 00:19:08,145
I did.
419
00:19:09,432 --> 00:19:11,949
Peter was just
taking the blame for me.
420
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,117
He's a good friend.
421
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:17,404
Mr. Brown,
what exactly are you saying?
422
00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:21,158
I'm saying that I,
Cleveland Brown,
a black man,
423
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:24,778
shot Cleveland Brown, Jr.,
another black man.
424
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,967
Wait, where did everybody go?
425
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,780
You want to
make the media go away?
426
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:34,254
Just mention
black-on-black crime.
427
00:19:34,323 --> 00:19:36,607
Boy, the world we live in, huh?
428
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,176
Brian, reach into Meg's pocket.
429
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:40,811
Go ahead, Brian.
430
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,963
I don't wanna.
431
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,182
Cleveland, why did you do that?
432
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:49,119
Peter,
since this is about racism,
why don't we take a slow,
433
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,256
hands-clasped-behind-the-back
walk together?
434
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:55,070
Listen, I know
you wouldn't have shot
Cleveland Jr.
435
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,427
On account of his race.
436
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,596
You shot him
because you're stupid.
437
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,614
That's all I'm trying to say!
438
00:20:00,683 --> 00:20:03,161
And I know
you don't have
hate in your heart.
439
00:20:03,185 --> 00:20:06,131
You were willing
to go to jail
for shooting my son.
440
00:20:06,155 --> 00:20:08,054
You took responsibility.
441
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,091
That's what's important.
442
00:20:10,159 --> 00:20:12,442
So you forgive me?
443
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:14,361
Of course I do.
444
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,214
Ah, thanks, Cleveland.
445
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,528
Hey, how you
feeling there, champ?
446
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,717
I'm good.
447
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,186
Getting better every day.
448
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:23,837
I'm happy to hear that.
449
00:20:23,906 --> 00:20:26,741
Look, I hope you know I'm sorry.
450
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:28,792
Hey, these things happen.
451
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:30,461
That's my boy.
452
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,565
Mr. Griffin?
Yeah?
453
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,802
Just so you know,
I'm gonna be
coming for your ass.
454
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,136
What's that now?
455
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,871
I'm saying it's on!
456
00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:43,741
You ever feel
the cool steel
of a switchblade
457
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:45,643
pressed against your temple?
458
00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:50,264
Hey, Mr. Griffin,
I'm just kidding.
459
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,598
Or am I?
460
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,201
You're gonna
wonder about that,
you fat bitch.
461
00:20:54,270 --> 00:20:55,769
See you later!
35161
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