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Aardvark. Armadillo.
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00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,019
Ant. Anteater.
3
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Now that I'm doing
my fellowship at the district,
4
00:00:07,980 --> 00:00:09,479
there's a rotation of substitutes
5
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,279
who are teaching my class
while I'm gone.
6
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:15,069
I like to pop by
and see how they're doing
7
00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:17,119
whenever I happen to be at Abbott.
8
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Just some quick,
light-touch check-ins,
9
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you know, just to show support.
10
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They hardly even know I'm here.
11
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,749
Alpaca. Alligator.
12
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♪ I'm a little teapot,
short and stout ♪
13
00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:46,439
My kids are so bored,
they're moshing to
14
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,319
"I'm a Little Teapot."
When can we go back in?
15
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,479
♪ When I get all steamed up,
hear me shout ♪
16
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,569
♪ Tip me over and pour me out ♪
17
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:55,779
And what you tsk'ing at,
Tsk'in' Teagues?
18
00:00:55,780 --> 00:00:57,569
Ugh, just... I mean,
look... look at this.
19
00:00:57,570 --> 00:01:00,159
My kids are just meandering.
You know what I mean?
20
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,789
You know, she's not even using
the buddy system. I... Mm...
21
00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:04,289
What even set off the alarm?
22
00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:05,869
Don't look at me.
23
00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:08,669
Church or home are the only
places my candles are lit.
24
00:01:08,670 --> 00:01:11,549
What's not lit
is another call from Abbott.
25
00:01:11,550 --> 00:01:12,959
At least it's not
a full fire this time.
26
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,509
- Mm.
- Just some smoke.
27
00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:15,799
Seems like someone lit a cigarette
28
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,009
- in one of the boys' bathrooms.
- What?!
29
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,509
- Cigarette?
- What?
30
00:01:18,510 --> 00:01:20,219
Seriously, who still
smokes cigarettes?
31
00:01:20,220 --> 00:01:21,929
Single dads, criminals...
32
00:01:21,930 --> 00:01:23,519
Morton. Where is he?
33
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,729
Probably lightin' up in
a back alley behind a Dumpster.
34
00:01:25,730 --> 00:01:28,229
Scumbag.
35
00:01:28,230 --> 00:01:30,319
We got him. Melissa sniffed him out.
36
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Oh, yeah. You got menthols,
you can run, but you can't hide.
37
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,569
One whiff, and I am 14 again...
38
00:01:36,570 --> 00:01:38,699
thinkin' I'm gonna wait a couple years
39
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:40,909
before I try one of these.
40
00:01:40,910 --> 00:01:42,160
That would only make you 16.
41
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,249
Smell always reminds me of my uncle.
42
00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:47,959
Oh, my aunt used
to sit in a chair with a cig
43
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and a glass of Pinot Grig and
recount "Moonlighting" to me.
44
00:01:50,460 --> 00:01:52,129
Yeah, my uncle used
to do the same thing,
45
00:01:52,130 --> 00:01:54,209
except it was scotch and the
Phillies game the night before.
46
00:01:54,210 --> 00:01:55,759
Mm.
47
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:56,920
- Childhood.
- Childhood.
48
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,429
- Nah, but this is a real problem.
- Mm-hmm.
49
00:02:02,430 --> 00:02:03,969
Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely.
50
00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:05,519
Where did you even get a cigarette?
51
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:06,979
Yeah, what you, a French child?
52
00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:09,149
The guy around the corner
sold it to me for a dollar.
53
00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:11,269
A dollar? Inflation is crazy.
54
00:02:11,270 --> 00:02:13,859
But you are in big trouble,
because cigarettes are banned.
55
00:02:13,860 --> 00:02:15,899
Not on any of the signs I saw.
56
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:16,990
What?
57
00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:20,779
On the school's website,
we got "no skateboarding,
58
00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:23,329
no vaping, no loitering,
no horseplay, no weapons,
59
00:02:23,330 --> 00:02:25,499
no open flames, no bullying,
and no gambling."
60
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,369
That last one's just for
students, though, right?
61
00:02:27,370 --> 00:02:29,169
There's nothing here about cigarettes.
62
00:02:29,170 --> 00:02:30,709
Did y'all find anything?
63
00:02:30,710 --> 00:02:33,629
Uh, well, I saw a sign
in the hallway that said "no,"
64
00:02:33,630 --> 00:02:35,549
but whatever was under it
was graffitied over.
65
00:02:35,550 --> 00:02:38,089
Yeah, that was a "no graffiti" sign.
66
00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:40,339
The e-mail from the top
of the year lists everything...
67
00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:42,549
and I mean everything...
including bringing a live spider
68
00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:44,099
to school is grounds for expulsion,
69
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:45,389
but it definitely
doesn't list cigarettes.
70
00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:46,969
Fidget spinners... banned.
71
00:02:46,970 --> 00:02:50,189
Cigarettes just seem to have
evaded every sign we've seen.
72
00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:52,649
Wait. So many new hazards
have come out
73
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,269
that we forgot to put
cigarettes on the ban list?
74
00:02:55,270 --> 00:02:57,609
Gee willikers, I have
nothing helpful to say,
75
00:02:57,610 --> 00:03:01,109
so I guess I'll just restate the
problem that we're all aware of.
76
00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:03,529
- That's you.
- Yeah, I got it.
77
00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:05,909
Besties! Let's finish up
those worksheets
78
00:03:05,910 --> 00:03:08,079
so we can move on to adjectives.
79
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:11,619
Jessca, do I need to capitalize
the names of the states?
80
00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:16,169
The only human needs are water,
food, shelter, and music.
81
00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:17,419
But don't worry about that right now.
82
00:03:17,420 --> 00:03:19,629
Just focus on getting
your worksheets done.
83
00:03:19,630 --> 00:03:21,719
Ooh. I'm sorry.
84
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,509
You actually do need to
capitalize the names of states,
85
00:03:24,510 --> 00:03:27,219
because that's the correct thing
to do for proper nouns.
86
00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:29,849
Right? Don't want to build bad habits.
87
00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:31,939
- Hi. I'm Janine.
- Jessca.
88
00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:33,519
Oh, it's nice to meet you, Jessica.
89
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:37,150
Jessca. There's no "I." Jess... Ca.
90
00:03:38,690 --> 00:03:39,779
Who are you again?
91
00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:41,529
Oh, sorry.
92
00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:43,659
I'm Miss Teagues.
This is my classroom.
93
00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:45,579
Oh! You're back.
94
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:48,329
Friends, looks like
I'm at the end of my time here.
95
00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:50,999
Oh, no, no, no, no. I was just
popping in to say hi to them.
96
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,789
- That's it.
- Everyone say hi to Janine!
97
00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:55,839
Hi, Janine!
98
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:59,259
Oh. Uh, no, guys, it's Miss Teagues,
99
00:03:59,260 --> 00:04:02,299
with a capital "T"
because it's a proper noun.
100
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:03,799
Is there a reason why we're abandoning
101
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,639
- all the rules of grammar?
- Oh, in the first worksheet,
102
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,139
I like for the kids to write
as freely as possible.
103
00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:10,979
- Mm.
- And, uh, we'll tackle
104
00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:12,349
capitalization later.
105
00:04:12,350 --> 00:04:14,769
Thank you so much for stopping by.
106
00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:17,189
- Bye, Janine.
- Oh, see, it's the way
107
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,729
he said that just now is
what I'm trying... Mm-hmm.
108
00:04:18,730 --> 00:04:20,989
Alright. Let's get back to it.
109
00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:24,989
How could cigarettes not be banned?
110
00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:27,579
Yeah, somebody really missed
the mark on that one.
111
00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:29,699
I know my fit is going off
today, but don't look at me.
112
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,209
I blame... Janine.
113
00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:33,659
What are y'all even doing
down there at the district?
114
00:04:33,660 --> 00:04:35,749
Shuffling papers?
Doing the Jubi Slide?
115
00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:37,919
- The children are smoking.
- What's the Jubi Slide?
116
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,379
Oh, it's when you put one foot down,
117
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,089
and you kind of move
in the opposite direction...
118
00:04:41,090 --> 00:04:42,419
I do not want to live in a world
119
00:04:42,420 --> 00:04:46,009
where white people
explain dance moves to me.
120
00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:47,139
You know, I just don't get it.
121
00:04:47,140 --> 00:04:48,433
You know, I thought we beat cigarettes
122
00:04:48,434 --> 00:04:49,560
with the Truth Campaign.
123
00:04:49,561 --> 00:04:51,389
It's just so retro.
124
00:04:51,390 --> 00:04:53,179
Well, maybe they're
getting cool again.
125
00:04:53,180 --> 00:04:56,019
I mean, clogs are back.
Anything's possible.
126
00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:57,979
Yes. Well, yes,
but there are some cool clogs.
127
00:04:57,980 --> 00:05:01,359
I just can't believe that
children are smoking ragweed.
128
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,279
I know. Don't they know
that smoking kills?
129
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,029
Mm. Jacob, you literally vape.
130
00:05:06,030 --> 00:05:07,529
Okay, that's different. That...
131
00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:10,279
Yes, in that it's worse
because you can vape anywhere.
132
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:11,619
You vaped all through "Saltburn."
133
00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:14,709
You're inhaling
thousands of toxins. Yuck.
134
00:05:14,710 --> 00:05:17,712
Yeah, well...
Janine smokes weed every day.
135
00:05:17,713 --> 00:05:18,830
No.
136
00:05:18,831 --> 00:05:19,839
Damn, Afroman.
137
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,089
Nope. Not every day.
138
00:05:22,090 --> 00:05:23,129
Every night.
139
00:05:23,130 --> 00:05:24,419
Janine.
140
00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:26,879
Reefer. Ganja.
141
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,759
The Devil's Lettuce.
142
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,429
That's why your feet so big.
143
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,389
I-It's medicinal,
and... and it's considerate.
144
00:05:32,390 --> 00:05:35,269
If I didn't smoke, I'd be
an insufferable Energizer Bunny.
145
00:05:35,270 --> 00:05:37,769
What a twist.
Janine is quietly off that loud.
146
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:39,769
Ava, you can't talk, okay?
You a hookah head.
147
00:05:39,770 --> 00:05:42,069
Mm-hmm. Facts. And microdosing.
148
00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:44,319
I just eyeball it and say,
"Yeah, that's enough."
149
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,449
Now, I don't smoke,
150
00:05:46,450 --> 00:05:49,409
but I do enjoy a protein-bar
edible on the weekends.
151
00:05:49,410 --> 00:05:50,739
You know, research actually shows...
152
00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:53,119
Wow. This man just made drugs boring.
153
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:57,669
I suggest that you all drop your vices
154
00:05:57,670 --> 00:06:00,959
and take a hit of my drug of choice...
155
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,209
J-E-S-U-S.
156
00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:07,299
Street name, Christ.
157
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,179
Uh, you've been known
158
00:06:09,180 --> 00:06:12,429
to demolish those little bottles
of Chardonnay.
159
00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:15,769
And you snort that liquid marijuana.
160
00:06:15,770 --> 00:06:18,189
You don't snort it. It is CBD oil,
161
00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:19,733
and I rub it on my joints.
162
00:06:19,734 --> 00:06:20,860
It's a gateway ointment.
163
00:06:20,861 --> 00:06:22,479
Your lungs are dust.
164
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,529
Crackheads. Speaking of joints,
165
00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:25,819
you ever submerge yourself
in the essence of...
166
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,279
Oh, duh-duh-duh-duh, shh.
Don't finish that sentence.
167
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,199
Frankincense and rosemary.
168
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,160
I bathe in it while I hit a blunt.
169
00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:36,829
Gotcha. Okay. I...
170
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:40,039
Gotcha. Whew, so glad we found you.
171
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,709
Um, you may or may not have
heard some chatting earlier,
172
00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:44,339
that may or may not
have been by the teachers,
173
00:06:44,340 --> 00:06:45,799
about, you know, some topics
174
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,759
that you may or may not
know enough about to parse.
175
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,719
- What?
- Baby, what'd you hear up in the lounge?
176
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,260
That the teachers are all dope fiends.
177
00:06:52,284 --> 00:06:53,929
Okay, now, that was an adult
conversation between adults.
178
00:06:53,930 --> 00:06:56,309
That also didn't happen.
We were just joking.
179
00:06:56,310 --> 00:06:57,389
Why didn't anybody laugh?
180
00:06:57,390 --> 00:06:58,809
'Cause Janine isn't funny.
181
00:06:58,810 --> 00:07:00,849
Okay, listen,
I'm gonna level with you,
182
00:07:00,850 --> 00:07:02,109
'cause I know you're a smart kid...
183
00:07:02,110 --> 00:07:04,859
I am. Or at least
that's what my teachers say.
184
00:07:04,860 --> 00:07:07,279
But maybe they didn't mean it.
Since they were high.
185
00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:08,899
Okay, alright, I think the point
186
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:10,779
is that you overheard
our conversation,
187
00:07:10,780 --> 00:07:12,239
which wasn't meant for you,
188
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,869
so maybe it should
just stay right here.
189
00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:16,119
If it makes y'all feel better,
190
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,289
- it can stay here physically.
- Okay.
191
00:07:18,290 --> 00:07:20,669
But, digitally,
it's up on every platform.
192
00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:22,289
I posted it everywhere immediately.
193
00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:23,839
- Ohh!
- Ooh.
194
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,419
Respect.
195
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:28,339
Gotcha.
196
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:29,919
So, the Dust Bowl, named after...
197
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,509
Is that what the inside
of your car looks like
198
00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:33,679
when you're vaping, Mr. C.?
199
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,259
Look, I-I want to make
something very clear.
200
00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:40,189
No one should be talking about,
or doing, any drugs, okay?
201
00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:41,939
Except for the teachers, huh?
202
00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:44,059
This man is a hypocrite.
203
00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:46,069
Oh, you just got smoked, Mr. C.
204
00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:48,650
But I bet you like that.
205
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:50,279
Hi.
206
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:51,910
Hmph. Bet you are.
207
00:07:53,780 --> 00:07:56,579
Word Families.
208
00:07:56,580 --> 00:07:57,619
- Pet.
- Pet.
209
00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,449
- Mm.
- Mrs. Howard,
210
00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:01,540
is that Pinot Grigio?
211
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,090
This thing has gotten
totally out of control.
212
00:08:07,091 --> 00:08:08,998
You're all drug addicts,
and I'm tired of it.
213
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,469
What do we even say to them? We
can't just have our kids undermining us.
214
00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:13,129
Okay, but how do we tell them
not to smoke or do drugs,
215
00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:15,389
when, one, they know
that we do them, and, two,
216
00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:17,259
we can't say anything to them
except for "Just say no"?
217
00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:19,309
Okay, well, Janine,
you're at the school district.
218
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,269
What's our move?
219
00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:25,979
We do have one more resource
at our disposal.
220
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:28,439
I think it's time
to call in a professional.
221
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,779
Gregory: Take a seat in this row,
222
00:08:29,780 --> 00:08:32,069
but leave this seat for me, okay?
223
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,449
Well, F.A.D.E. got here quickly.
224
00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:35,489
- Yeah, just had to call in a favor.
- Nice work.
225
00:08:35,490 --> 00:08:36,989
And then I had to
call in another favor
226
00:08:36,990 --> 00:08:39,039
when they found out I was
the one who sent them Tariq.
227
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,040
To which I said,
"How was I supposed to know
228
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:41,789
he'd be a liability?"
To which they said,
229
00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:43,209
"Wasn't he your boyfriend?"
To which I said,
230
00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:44,749
"Okay, nosy, good point.
231
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,169
I'd like to use
all other remaining favors.
232
00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:47,499
- Can you help me or not?"
- Well, it sounds like
233
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,209
the Tariq and F.A.D.E. split
was amicable, then.
234
00:08:49,210 --> 00:08:51,379
They said it's litigious
and Tariq is not winning.
235
00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:53,129
- Great.
- Look at this.
236
00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:55,259
Why aren't they in single file,
237
00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:58,049
and why are they holding hands?
It's like, germ alert.
238
00:08:58,050 --> 00:08:59,889
Maybe it's to make sure
no one gets left behind.
239
00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:01,809
Okay, well, did you know
240
00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:03,939
that she has them
call her by her first name?
241
00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:05,769
These are your students,
not your buddies.
242
00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,149
Also, I overheard her saying,
243
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:09,269
"You can use commas
whenever you feel like."
244
00:09:09,270 --> 00:09:11,279
- And I just feel like...
- Janine,
245
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,649
did you smoke last night? 'Cause
it don't seem like you did.
246
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:15,409
I just don't think it's
the best way to run a classroom.
247
00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:16,909
Well, she's right over there
if you want to have
248
00:09:16,910 --> 00:09:18,740
an actual conversation with her.
249
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:21,999
Mm.
250
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:29,459
Awwww, yeah!
251
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:34,509
Abbott Elementary two-
thousand-and-twenty-three-ee-ee!
252
00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:35,879
It's 2024.
253
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:40,009
Two-thousand- and-twenty-fou-ou-r!
254
00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:41,639
Gotta introduce myself right quick.
255
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,269
My mama named me Timothy.
256
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,979
I call myself Slimothy.
257
00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:48,229
But you can call me Slim. You feel me?
258
00:09:48,230 --> 00:09:50,229
Welcome to the F.A.D.E. Experience.
259
00:09:50,230 --> 00:09:51,859
Let's do this!
260
00:09:51,860 --> 00:09:54,239
Drink up the energy!
261
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,859
Drink up the energy,
drink up the energy!
262
00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:59,119
Sober minded.
263
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:02,949
Aw, yeah, no, it's a great gig.
Like, it was fate.
264
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:05,289
And your Tariq was
a renaissance, for real.
265
00:10:05,290 --> 00:10:06,789
Definitely my inspiration.
266
00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:08,669
'Cause I just be studyin'
what he be doin'
267
00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:10,379
and puttin' my own spin on it.
268
00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:12,959
And the people, shh, they like it.
269
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,169
So, what's poppin'
to all my little sweeties.
270
00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:18,009
Smokin' cigs'll give you diabetes.
271
00:10:18,010 --> 00:10:20,259
Now, I admit that
it make you look cool.
272
00:10:20,260 --> 00:10:22,309
But it make your breath
smell like stool.
273
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:23,969
And that's poop.
274
00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:26,729
I run up the score
when I step in the booth.
275
00:10:26,730 --> 00:10:30,899
You do too much dip,
you might lose a tooth.
276
00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:33,859
I'm feelin' so swaggy
and actin' uncouth.
277
00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:35,939
Please don't get me started on cancer.
278
00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:38,739
I'mma lose it if you think
smokin' the answer!
279
00:10:38,740 --> 00:10:41,029
Get that out. Put it out.
280
00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:43,659
In conclusion, I don't think
children should smoke.
281
00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:45,159
- That's right.
- Yes.
282
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,159
Whoo!
283
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,789
Yeah, y'all warm as hell now!
284
00:10:49,790 --> 00:10:52,289
Fatal overdoses in Philly
are on the rise!
285
00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:56,799
And you all are responsible for
stopping it via your decisions.
286
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,219
Say it wit' me.
287
00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:01,469
Decisions.
288
00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:04,309
Alright, now I'm about
to bring out da dopest...
289
00:11:04,310 --> 00:11:05,352
Mm. Mm. Mnh-mnh.
290
00:11:05,353 --> 00:11:09,269
...the tightest certified
F.A.D.E. representative
291
00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:11,689
in the wo-o-rld!
292
00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:15,899
Carol-i-i-i-ne!
293
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:18,109
Pay attention so you don't die.
294
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:20,279
Pay attention...
295
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,779
so you don't die.
296
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:27,579
Hello, young... youth of color.
297
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,369
I'm Caroline.
298
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:32,499
Look to your left.
299
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:35,289
Now look to your right.
300
00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:38,299
Now imagine it's blurry.
301
00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:41,089
That's what it's like
to be under the influence.
302
00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:43,089
Hey, Jessca, how's it going?
303
00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:45,969
It's fantastic.
I was just telling the kids
304
00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:48,519
they can choose
their own homework assignments.
305
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,389
- I see.
- Yeah.
306
00:11:50,390 --> 00:11:54,649
I find that choice gets them
really excited about homework.
307
00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:56,939
- Caroline: You are worthy of a good life.
- Hey, so, um, first of all,
308
00:11:56,940 --> 00:11:59,029
I just wanted to say
thank you for subbing.
309
00:11:59,030 --> 00:12:01,779
The only job harder than
teaching is substitute teaching.
310
00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:05,489
I don't know. Have you
ever seen "Ice Road Truckers"?
311
00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:09,289
That ice thin. That truck big.
312
00:12:09,290 --> 00:12:11,329
Yeah, good point.
313
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:12,709
- Mm-hmm.
- Great show.
314
00:12:12,710 --> 00:12:13,959
Uh, second, you know,
315
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,539
I used to teach this class
for three years,
316
00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:18,799
and so I have a deep,
you know, rich understanding
317
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,759
of the kids and this grade level,
318
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,009
so, you know,
if you ever need any tips.
319
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:26,139
Thanks! But everything's fine.
320
00:12:26,140 --> 00:12:28,599
Right, but there are some
universal teaching practices,
321
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,639
and because of your
lack of experience,
322
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,559
you might just need
a little gentle guidance.
323
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:37,149
Excuse me, Janine,
I'm trying to listen.
324
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:38,609
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
325
00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:41,279
If I need help, I will ask.
326
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,569
Okay.
327
00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:45,529
But I don't, so I won't.
328
00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:47,909
So, in conclusion,
329
00:12:47,910 --> 00:12:51,869
say no to drugs, cigarettes,
and alcohol.
330
00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:53,959
Remember, F.A.D.E. says,
331
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,459
if it makes you faded,
332
00:12:56,460 --> 00:13:01,049
walk away from i-it.
333
00:13:01,050 --> 00:13:02,839
I know that doesn't exactly rhyme,
334
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:06,339
but it's the message that counts.
335
00:13:06,340 --> 00:13:09,259
A-Alright, we're gonna keep
this fun bus moving along
336
00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:12,979
and jump right into a Q&A.
337
00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:15,649
When my mom gets off
her shift at the hospital,
338
00:13:15,650 --> 00:13:17,899
she has a cigarette. Is that okay?
339
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:21,609
Only if she wants to wind up
being a patient there herself.
340
00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:22,859
What about wine?
341
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,779
My dad drinks a glass
at dinner sometimes.
342
00:13:24,780 --> 00:13:27,159
You know what pairs well
with everything?
343
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,029
Sobriety.
344
00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:31,909
My aunt takes edibles the doctor
prescribed for her glaucoma.
345
00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:33,619
I guess that would be an exception
346
00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:35,709
if it is for medical reasons.
347
00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:38,459
So, you're saying some drugs
are better than others?
348
00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:39,959
I would not say better.
349
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,419
But some are definitely
worse than others.
350
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,549
Well, then, what's the least bad drug?
351
00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:46,679
All substances are bad.
352
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,339
But if you had to pick one...
353
00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:49,469
Cigarettes, I guess.
354
00:13:49,470 --> 00:13:51,389
No! No!
355
00:13:51,390 --> 00:13:54,769
So if I had to pick one thing
to do if my life depended on it,
356
00:13:54,770 --> 00:13:55,809
it should be cigarettes?
357
00:13:55,810 --> 00:13:57,559
No! Maybe weed?
358
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,309
- Hoo, buddy.
- The hell?
359
00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:00,569
Let's end this, guys.
360
00:14:00,570 --> 00:14:02,729
According to CNN... Uh, fake news.
361
00:14:02,730 --> 00:14:04,569
Okay, now you got my attention.
362
00:14:04,570 --> 00:14:07,449
...alcohol was illegal
during the Prohibition era,
363
00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:10,069
and we're seeing the same
renaissance now with marijuana.
364
00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:11,739
You know where they don't
have a marijuana problem?
365
00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:13,199
The Third World,
366
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,749
where kids can't just
Google whatever they want,
367
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:16,119
because they're busy
making the phones.
368
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,619
- Okay, alright...
- It just seems like
369
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:19,249
most drugs aren't that bad.
370
00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:21,959
Fine, you can smoke a little!
Just don't do opioids!
371
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,419
My grandfather's on opioids.
372
00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:25,009
Drugs from a doctor are okay.
373
00:14:25,010 --> 00:14:26,669
My mom's on Valtrex.
374
00:14:26,670 --> 00:14:28,219
That's fine. Your mom has herpes.
375
00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:29,429
- Hey!
- Wow.
376
00:14:29,430 --> 00:14:30,679
Lady, are you high?
377
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,219
Uh...
378
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,729
Whoo! Alright!
379
00:14:35,730 --> 00:14:38,439
When I say "this,"
you say, "went well."
380
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:39,649
- This.
- Went well.
381
00:14:39,650 --> 00:14:41,229
- This.
- Went well.
382
00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:43,690
Hey, okay. Ah, peace.
383
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,074
Attention, Abbott Elementarians...
384
00:14:48,075 --> 00:14:50,284
Due to the district mandate,
we will now be performing
385
00:14:50,285 --> 00:14:52,414
mandatory locker, bag,
and cubby searches.
386
00:14:52,415 --> 00:14:53,834
In addition to searches,
387
00:14:53,835 --> 00:14:57,084
we are also reinforcing
the zero-tolerance policy.
388
00:14:57,085 --> 00:15:00,424
Any substance found will end in
a mandatory two-day suspension.
389
00:15:00,425 --> 00:15:02,754
- Okay...
- Any discussion of illicit substances
390
00:15:02,755 --> 00:15:05,174
will result in disciplinary action.
391
00:15:05,175 --> 00:15:07,885
This applies to students and teachers.
392
00:15:10,595 --> 00:15:12,054
It's bad enough
393
00:15:12,055 --> 00:15:13,474
I got to make announcements
sounding like a cop.
394
00:15:13,475 --> 00:15:15,474
Now I got to be a judge
and hand out a sentence.
395
00:15:15,475 --> 00:15:18,024
According to this,
I got to suspend Curtis.
396
00:15:18,025 --> 00:15:20,274
Well, that's how it goes.
397
00:15:20,275 --> 00:15:22,904
You bring a substance in,
you get suspended.
398
00:15:22,905 --> 00:15:24,944
This seems like overkill,
to do all this
399
00:15:24,945 --> 00:15:27,114
without even having an honest
conversation with Curtis
400
00:15:27,115 --> 00:15:28,364
or any of our students.
401
00:15:28,365 --> 00:15:30,994
Well, that's the system for ya.
402
00:15:30,995 --> 00:15:34,034
We're not allowed to say
anything except "drugs are bad."
403
00:15:34,035 --> 00:15:37,504
It just all seems ridiculous.
Okay, Curtis is a great kid.
404
00:15:37,505 --> 00:15:39,504
He's an "A" student.
He doesn't bother anyone.
405
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:41,624
It's kind of uncharacteristic
that he smokes.
406
00:15:41,625 --> 00:15:44,344
Smokes or smoked?
407
00:15:44,345 --> 00:15:46,175
Do we even know
if he's done this before?
408
00:15:49,345 --> 00:15:51,554
We let this thing
get so out of control,
409
00:15:51,555 --> 00:15:55,314
we forgot to ask the boy
what happened.
410
00:15:55,315 --> 00:15:57,894
So I guess I got to suspend him?
411
00:15:57,895 --> 00:15:59,894
Hold on, okay? Let me talk to him.
412
00:15:59,895 --> 00:16:01,604
He's been spending a lot
of time in my classroom,
413
00:16:01,605 --> 00:16:03,194
and I think he's comfortable with me.
414
00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:05,324
I'll go with you.
As a former child smoker,
415
00:16:05,325 --> 00:16:07,074
I can probably cough up some advice.
416
00:16:09,945 --> 00:16:13,165
See? It's not funny.
417
00:16:15,245 --> 00:16:17,544
Janine: ...steps to make sure this
kind of thing doesn't happen anymore.
418
00:16:17,545 --> 00:16:19,165
Feel like some direction...
419
00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:23,084
Uh, some direction from
the school district...
420
00:16:23,085 --> 00:16:24,544
Everything okay? 'Cause, Janine,
421
00:16:24,545 --> 00:16:26,674
I know you love to return a wave.
422
00:16:26,675 --> 00:16:28,964
Yeah, everything's fine.
I love the sub.
423
00:16:28,965 --> 00:16:32,514
And her methods, and her ways.
424
00:16:32,515 --> 00:16:35,094
- Yeah, I have no concerns.
- Spill the peas.
425
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,064
She's just doing things
differently than I would, okay?
426
00:16:37,065 --> 00:16:38,145
And that's all I'll say.
427
00:16:40,485 --> 00:16:41,814
She is teaching grammar out of order,
428
00:16:41,815 --> 00:16:44,604
and it is chaos,
and other things, too. It's...
429
00:16:44,605 --> 00:16:46,194
Would you believe it if I told you
430
00:16:46,195 --> 00:16:49,364
that when you first started,
I found that some of your ways
431
00:16:49,365 --> 00:16:51,864
of teaching were a bit unorthodox?
432
00:16:51,865 --> 00:16:54,494
Uh, no, because that belief interferes
433
00:16:54,495 --> 00:16:56,284
with my perception of reality, so...
434
00:16:56,285 --> 00:16:59,414
Janine, every teacher
has their own style.
435
00:16:59,415 --> 00:17:01,254
You do things differently
than Melissa.
436
00:17:01,255 --> 00:17:03,834
Melissa does things
differently than me.
437
00:17:03,835 --> 00:17:05,544
I know, but it's my class.
438
00:17:05,545 --> 00:17:08,044
It was your class.
439
00:17:08,045 --> 00:17:10,005
It's not your class right now.
440
00:17:13,055 --> 00:17:14,844
- Okay.
- Okay.
441
00:17:14,845 --> 00:17:16,894
But did you know that she took
the "I" out of her name
442
00:17:16,895 --> 00:17:18,224
and just goes by Jessca?
443
00:17:18,225 --> 00:17:20,224
Now, that is foolishness.
444
00:17:20,225 --> 00:17:21,774
- Mm-hmm.
- These kids nowadays,
445
00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:23,814
- they're just gonna do anything.
- I know.
446
00:17:23,815 --> 00:17:27,154
"Hello, students. My name
is no longer Miss Barbara.
447
00:17:27,155 --> 00:17:29,774
It's Miss Br-ha-ha-ra."
448
00:17:29,775 --> 00:17:31,904
Yeah, yeah. It's absurd.
449
00:17:31,905 --> 00:17:33,155
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
450
00:17:34,745 --> 00:17:37,454
Am I in trouble?
Because I really am sorry.
451
00:17:37,455 --> 00:17:39,454
No, no, we just wanted to talk, hon.
452
00:17:39,455 --> 00:17:42,124
So, remember when we asked you
where you got the loosie?
453
00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:45,044
Well, we also want to know
why you got it.
454
00:17:45,045 --> 00:17:47,214
I don't know. Just curious, I guess.
455
00:17:47,215 --> 00:17:49,214
Curiosity is part of being a kid.
456
00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:51,555
Okay, when I was younger, I, uh...
457
00:17:53,675 --> 00:17:55,554
Uh, l-look, you're gonna be presented
458
00:17:55,555 --> 00:17:58,094
with a lot of things in life,
both good and bad,
459
00:17:58,095 --> 00:18:00,224
and we just want to make sure
that you're being careful.
460
00:18:00,225 --> 00:18:02,434
I wasn't even gonna do it again.
461
00:18:02,435 --> 00:18:05,274
See, that's great. It took me
decades to learn that.
462
00:18:05,275 --> 00:18:06,854
It was nasty.
463
00:18:06,855 --> 00:18:09,315
Yeah, it is nasty,
so don't forget that taste.
464
00:18:10,695 --> 00:18:12,484
Was F.A.D.E. my fault?
465
00:18:12,485 --> 00:18:14,364
No, no, sweetie.
466
00:18:14,365 --> 00:18:15,904
F.A.D.E. is the government's fault.
467
00:18:18,205 --> 00:18:19,874
I really am sorry.
468
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:22,875
Yeah, we know you are. Why don't
you head on back to class?
469
00:18:26,465 --> 00:18:28,424
I hate that we can't be
more honest with them.
470
00:18:28,425 --> 00:18:30,925
Me, too. That kid
should not be suspended. Ugh.
471
00:18:32,965 --> 00:18:34,715
Maybe he doesn't have to be.
472
00:18:36,555 --> 00:18:38,935
- Hey.
- Now it's vibe time.
473
00:18:40,055 --> 00:18:42,064
Hey, Jessca.
474
00:18:42,065 --> 00:18:43,974
So, I just wanted to apologize.
475
00:18:43,975 --> 00:18:46,564
Um, while you're here,
476
00:18:46,565 --> 00:18:48,274
these kids are your class, not mine,
477
00:18:48,275 --> 00:18:49,814
and I should not have tried to force
478
00:18:49,815 --> 00:18:52,274
my albeit tried-and-true
methods onto...
479
00:18:52,275 --> 00:18:54,324
"K," so let me stop you right there,
480
00:18:54,325 --> 00:18:57,824
because actually, I'm only
signed up to be here this week.
481
00:18:57,825 --> 00:18:59,244
And I won't be returning,
482
00:18:59,245 --> 00:19:01,784
because this week
has been exceptionally mid.
483
00:19:01,785 --> 00:19:05,504
Oh! So... Mm.
I thought you would, uh...
484
00:19:05,505 --> 00:19:07,504
I don't know. I just thought
you were having a good time,
485
00:19:07,505 --> 00:19:10,634
so that's why I wanted to come
and, you know, say sorry
486
00:19:10,635 --> 00:19:13,384
for the way I'd been acting,
because it wasn't, you know...
487
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,924
Yeah, you're talking as if there
was some sort of interaction
488
00:19:15,925 --> 00:19:17,924
I'm supposed to remember, but I don't.
489
00:19:19,345 --> 00:19:20,684
- Nevertheless...
- Oh.
490
00:19:20,685 --> 00:19:22,354
...I accept your apology,
491
00:19:22,355 --> 00:19:25,724
which I'm sure I humbly deserve.
492
00:19:26,895 --> 00:19:28,274
Toodle-oo.
493
00:19:28,275 --> 00:19:30,024
Okay. Oh. Oh, the door.
494
00:19:30,025 --> 00:19:31,113
Toodle-oo. Click it.
495
00:19:35,235 --> 00:19:38,114
I'm gonna be honest.
This was a rough week at Abbott.
496
00:19:38,115 --> 00:19:39,574
Uh, sometimes, as a teacher,
497
00:19:39,575 --> 00:19:41,784
there's only so much
you're allowed to say.
498
00:19:41,785 --> 00:19:42,994
But that doesn't mean
that you can't still be there
499
00:19:42,995 --> 00:19:44,834
for your kids.
500
00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:47,374
I remembered that I had
an in at the district,
501
00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:48,874
and she's gonna speak to the board
502
00:19:48,875 --> 00:19:50,584
and see if she can get
Curtis' suspension lifted.
503
00:19:50,585 --> 00:19:52,674
I'm confident she'll get it done.
504
00:19:52,675 --> 00:19:55,344
She always does.
505
00:19:55,345 --> 00:19:58,424
- Thank you.
- The truth is, attitudes change.
506
00:19:58,425 --> 00:20:00,304
And as teachers, we have to figure out
507
00:20:00,305 --> 00:20:02,764
how to keep an open mind
while staying within the bounds.
508
00:20:02,765 --> 00:20:04,474
And the result is,
509
00:20:04,475 --> 00:20:06,974
sometimes we end up
learning something ourselves.
510
00:20:06,975 --> 00:20:09,860
You're gonna feel so much better
when you just let it go.
511
00:20:09,861 --> 00:20:10,945
Let it go.
512
00:20:10,946 --> 00:20:11,985
- Drop it.
- Good, there you go.
513
00:20:11,986 --> 00:20:13,024
- Okay. See?
- Very good.
514
00:20:13,025 --> 00:20:14,064
- Good job.
- Yes!
515
00:20:14,065 --> 00:20:15,404
There you go!
516
00:20:15,405 --> 00:20:17,284
Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Yes. Yes.
517
00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:18,734
No!
518
00:20:18,735 --> 00:20:20,244
- No!
- Oh, my God!
519
00:20:20,245 --> 00:20:22,414
- Get him out! Get him out!
- Jacob. Jacob. Jacob? Relax.
520
00:20:22,415 --> 00:20:23,744
I got it!
521
00:20:23,745 --> 00:20:25,585
- No! Jacob! No!
- Give it to me!
522
00:20:26,413 --> 00:20:29,665
They say quitting vaping
is easy-peasy. Total lie.
523
00:20:29,666 --> 00:20:32,376
Nicotine gum... I kept
accidentally swallowing it.
524
00:20:32,377 --> 00:20:34,626
Reading Allen Carr's
"Easy Way to Stop Smoking,"
525
00:20:34,627 --> 00:20:37,296
I was falling asleep
and dreaming about smoking.
526
00:20:37,297 --> 00:20:40,967
Anyway, I have found a solution
that I really think is the one.
527
00:20:44,807 --> 00:20:46,136
Hey, didn't you listen to F.A.D.E.?
528
00:20:46,137 --> 00:20:47,556
You can't have vape pens in school.
529
00:20:47,557 --> 00:20:49,516
I buried my vape pen.
530
00:20:49,517 --> 00:20:51,106
This is my Bref.
531
00:20:51,107 --> 00:20:54,856
No vapor, no nicotine,
just real natural air.
532
00:20:54,857 --> 00:20:56,776
Damn, they got dumbasses
paying for air?
533
00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:58,316
Why didn't I think of that?
534
00:20:58,317 --> 00:21:01,236
Dumbasses? No... Uh, it was only $200.
535
00:21:01,237 --> 00:21:03,447
And it comes with
a lifetime guarantee...
536
00:21:04,747 --> 00:21:05,907
Wait.
537
00:21:07,827 --> 00:21:09,077
I got got.
538
00:21:16,087 --> 00:21:19,086
Well, I'll be.
539
00:21:19,087 --> 00:21:21,386
This oxygen is bussin'!
540
00:21:21,387 --> 00:21:27,396
sync and corrections by awaqededwww.addic7ed.com.
41031
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