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DJ: Alright, team.
2
00:00:02,056 --> 00:00:04,970
As you all know,
today isn't just any old Saturday.
3
00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:06,238
Oh, no.
4
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,373
Today is our annual fundraiser
where half our proceeds
5
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:11,910
are donated back to the
fine people of Korverton.
6
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,178
That's right... It's...
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Insane Insaturday, we know.
8
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Oh, not this year, Wayne.
9
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,183
It turns out the name
"Insane Insaturday"
10
00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:19,385
was actually incredibly offensive
11
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,386
to insane people, so...
12
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,989
This year I've gone ahead
and officially changed
13
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:27,359
the name to...
14
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,361
Unselfish Unsaturday.
15
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,462
What is "Un-Saturday"?
16
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:31,930
Sounds like any day but Saturday!
17
00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:33,265
Yeah, I tried to warn him.
18
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:34,733
No, I get it, boss.
You were going for alliteration.
19
00:00:34,809 --> 00:00:37,136
Alliteration? Try "Selfless Saturday."
20
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:38,403
How's that?
21
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:39,604
Damn, that's way better.
22
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,773
Where is Keeran?
23
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,040
Late again.
24
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:44,075
My guess?
Probably saw a pretty girl on his bike,
25
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,611
got his boner tangled in his handlebars,
26
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,679
and crashed into a telephone pole.
27
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:50,549
To be 16 again.
28
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You know what I got a boner for?
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Helping people.
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Dicey segue!
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That's why this year we are
gonna hit $20,000 in sales,
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a goal we've never hit before!
33
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,093
Yeah,
but we have been sniffing it for years!
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That's right, Cyn.
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00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:07,532
But this year, we're gonna
dip our noses all the way in.
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00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,301
'Cause I'm throwin'
in a little incentive,
37
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:11,726
a reward for each and every one of you.
38
00:01:11,761 --> 00:01:12,704
What is it?
39
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,507
Let's just say it's something
we all need and love.
40
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,709
- Need...
- Huddle up, team.
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00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,312
Our customers could
shop at Sports Dynasty
42
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,381
or any other fancy big box store,
43
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:25,050
but they choose to shop
at One More Time. Why?
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00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:26,551
'Cause our stuff is used and cheap.
45
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,120
Oh yeah, baby.
But that's not the only reason!
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They shop here because
they know we care.
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The point is, when we open those doors,
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the customers are gonna
spread through this store
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like ringworm on a wrestling mat.
50
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Uh, DJ?
51
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They're gonna do that because we listen.
52
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- DJ?
- We understand them.
53
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,570
DJ?
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They're gonna come
because we pay attention.
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- JEN: Hey, boss?
- Yeah, Jen?
56
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:49,975
I think Cynthia's
trying to say something.
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00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,176
Oh, I'm sorry, Cynth.
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You know I have a hard time
hearing when I'm talking,
59
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,247
and you're on my right side;
That's my bad ear.
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00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:56,615
- Oh, right.
- Or if you're behind me,
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'cause the mics only face forward.
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00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:00,485
I just wanted to point out
that we actually opened
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four and a half minutes ago.
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00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,289
DJ: Look at that.
65
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:08,160
Carried away by my own
pre-game speech, again.
66
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,427
Alright, gang. [CLAPS]
67
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Let's bring it in!
68
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Three, two...
69
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,633
ALL: One More Time!
70
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:16,801
Oh, that was a good one.
We were really in sync.
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00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:19,437
You guys feel that one?
Good omen for the day.
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00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:22,373
?
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00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,511
Hey! Can you do me a favour?
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00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,280
What do we think about
this reward DJ mentioned?
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00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,848
I have no idea, but I need you
to cover my shift tomorrow.
76
00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,584
I've got training for the
olympic javelin qualifiers.
77
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,052
Oh, you and your meaningless hobbies.
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00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,921
Anyway, back to my thing.
It's gotta be cash, right?
79
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,522
We're grown-ups.
Grown-ups give each other cash.
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It's unspoken, but everybody knows it.
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00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,325
You must be fun for Christmas.
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We gotta sell hard.
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'Cause I got my eye on this microphone.
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It's gonna take formidable
failures to that next level.
85
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:46,264
You know my podcast?
86
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,066
Oh, how could I forget
the way you revel in
87
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:50,435
people's lowest moments?
So can you take my shift or not?
88
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,937
That's a negatory.
89
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I don't want to.
90
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,143
What if we make it interesting?
91
00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,544
What are you suggesting?
92
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,213
I out-sell you, you take my shift.
93
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,814
You out-sell me,
94
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,284
I'll give you whatever that
very special reward is.
95
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,751
You're on.
96
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,121
But you have made
a grievous mistake, Hauser.
97
00:03:09,123 --> 00:03:10,222
Please.
98
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,690
I can sell this stuff in my sleep.
99
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,425
You haven't even cared
about this job since 2015.
100
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,560
That's not true. I started here in 2015.
101
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,961
I haven't cared since 2017,
102
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,964
and yet somehow I'm still indispensable.
103
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,433
Imagine what my powers would
be if I actually gave a shit.
104
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:25,570
Now, if you'll excuse me, I...
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have some shit to give.
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[KNOCKS AT DOOR]
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Well, well,
sneakin' in the side door, Keeran?
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Sorry I'm late.
109
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,183
What, handlebar boner?
110
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,385
No, not this time.
111
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,321
I got doored and I twisted my ankle.
112
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It hurts so bad!
113
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Honestly, I shouldn't even be here.
114
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- Where's DJ?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
115
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We need the full squadron today.
116
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I'm in a lot of pain, Wayne.
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Yeah, well, it just so happens,
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there's a huge reward in it
for us if we hit 20g in sales.
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There's not enough money in this world
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00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:56,534
to tolerate this pain.
121
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Wait! No, no, no, no... what about...
122
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uh, what about breasts?
123
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,207
- What?
- You heard me, Padawan.
124
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,210
Are there enough breasts in this world
125
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:08,280
for you to tolerate that pain?
126
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,684
Seriously, man.
What are you talking about?
127
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,753
Well, it just so happens,
128
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,554
I heard the big reward is Jojo's.
129
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,156
- The strip club?
- Shh!
130
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,358
It's supposed to be a surprise!
131
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:22,027
Isn't that a weird surprise
for your employees?
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00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,428
Well...
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Boobs bond mother and child.
134
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,265
Why not co-workers, right?
135
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,833
That is true.
136
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:31,169
Holy shit... My first strip club!
137
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Oh, wait...
138
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:34,039
I'm not old enough. I won't get in.
139
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,173
Don't worry about that.
140
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:37,509
DJ, he's got a side deal
with the bouncer there.
141
00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:39,544
It's a little quid pro quo, if you will.
142
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,812
We gotta hit that 20 grand.
143
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,981
That's the spirit.
Now how's that ankle feeling?
144
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,149
What ankle?
145
00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:45,223
Hi-yah!
146
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:46,585
[GROANS IN PAIN]
147
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Ah, you're good, you're fine.
Sell, sell, sell.
148
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?
149
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,591
KEERAN: Hello, sir.
150
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,661
DJ: How you doing?
Can I help you with anything?
151
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:56,995
[QUIETLY] My nine-year-old insists
152
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,262
it's pinching his forehead.
153
00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,397
- Pardon me?
- JEN: I got this.
154
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,534
Um... may I?
155
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:05,604
His son's baseball helmet
156
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:09,207
is pinching his forehead.
157
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,276
Right. Okay, thanks, Jen.
158
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,011
Well, it sounds like he's outgrown it.
159
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,345
You're gonna wanna size up.
160
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:15,880
We got a great selection of helmets
161
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,116
just behind those tennis
balls right there.
162
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,085
So...
163
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:22,687
I spent the last three months
164
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:26,624
taking intensive sign language classes.
165
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Pretty good, eh?
166
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,160
Very good, very impressive.
167
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:31,363
But you know I don't know
sign language, right?
168
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,797
What?
169
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,534
Oh, I'm so sorry, I just... assumed.
170
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,835
Oh, no need to apologize.
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00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:39,704
What I miss with my ears,
I fill in with body language,
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lip reading, and context.
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Hm.
174
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:51,716
?
175
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:55,921
?
176
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:58,523
Is it just me, or is this
turn-out a little underwhelming?
177
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,458
It is lower than underwhelming.
178
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,061
It is sub-underwhelming!
179
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:06,798
My projections point to a
60% decrease in revenue.
180
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:09,734
The excess inventory's gonna
eat into our quarterly profits,
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00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,069
consequently hindering
our capacity to borrow,
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00:06:12,106 --> 00:06:15,340
ergo affecting our ability to
access further inventory, DJ.
183
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:16,942
- So it's bad?
- Correct.
184
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,577
I knew it as soon as you said "ergo."
185
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[QUIETLY] I think this is the right one.
186
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:25,750
Is there sound coming out?
187
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:29,287
Big sale! 50% of the proceeds go to...
188
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,056
I guess now you'll never know, so...
189
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Hey, sis!
190
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- Hi.
- What's up, Josh?
191
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Yo!
192
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Lookin' like one of those
guys off the Vegas strip.
193
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,067
Oh, thanks, man.
194
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,569
Uh, Josh, make sure to give
me a five-star review, please.
195
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,037
- You were late.
- You were late.
196
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,305
Shut up.
197
00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:49,708
Yo, tell piss jug about what's
happening at Sports Dynasty.
198
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,108
What's going on at Sports Dynasty?
199
00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:52,310
Oh man, they're slammed!
200
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:53,578
Got a whole carnival thing going on.
201
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,247
Rides, games... even a magician!
202
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:56,614
A magician?
203
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,450
- I love magic!
- I know.
204
00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:01,186
I bet Carlito knew that too.
205
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,887
Who's Carlito?
206
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,822
The manager at Sports Dynasty.
207
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,258
I've told you this like a million times.
208
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,491
You've never told me that once.
209
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:08,827
- You never listen!
- You never listen to me!
210
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,295
- Are you kidding?
- I listen to you all the time.
211
00:07:10,392 --> 00:07:13,231
I don't hear you sometimes,
but I always listen...
212
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,734
Shh! Just shut up.
213
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,869
Well, now I know
why the store's so empty.
214
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:20,438
Care to drown your sorrows
with a cold one on me?
215
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:22,874
- I'll put it on my spill tab.
- No...
216
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,076
There's something I need to do.
217
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,411
Gwen's working.
218
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,213
Gwen's working?
219
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:30,348
I guess I am a little parched.
220
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,017
No...
221
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:35,287
There's something I need to do.
222
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,688
Cynthia?
223
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:39,658
Grab a stack of coupons
and meet me out front.
224
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,660
Josh? Have a great day at work, buddy.
225
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:42,727
Thanks, man.
226
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:44,062
Nat, think you could
give us a ride over?
227
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,196
Oh my gosh, I would love to,
228
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:46,798
but you have to request it
through the chauffeur app.
229
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:47,865
No, come on, I'm your brother!
230
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:48,967
Just give me a ride over.
231
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,034
Oh wait, I got another request.
232
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,102
- Flesh and blood!
- Yeah, I can't drive you, bye.
233
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,704
- No way you got a ride that quick.
- Yeah, I just got a request.
234
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,239
- Bing, it just popped in.
- Are you kidding me? Watch my...
235
00:07:54,253 --> 00:07:56,709
- You almost rolled over my foot again.
- I was trying to.
236
00:07:56,792 --> 00:07:58,810
Always appreciate your loving support.
237
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,312
[HONKS] I can't hear you. [HONKS LOUDLY]
238
00:08:05,872 --> 00:08:07,853
- [CROWD CHATTERING]
- [CARNIVAL MUSIC]
239
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,521
CYNTHIA: Oh, DJ, look.
240
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:10,721
DJ: Pretty tall guy.
241
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,790
CYNTHIA: Terrifying.
242
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,327
DJ: Whoa, okay!
243
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:16,528
Ah! [CLAPS]
244
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,329
My God, look at that sleight of hand!
245
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,731
Yeah!
246
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:22,199
What are the chances this is
all just a big coincidence?
247
00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:24,669
Carlito's wanted to
put us out of business
248
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,339
ever since you made manager over him.
249
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:28,806
Don't you see?
250
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:31,075
This is Carlito's way!
251
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,411
Doesn't he see?
He isn't just hurting me.
252
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,580
He's hurting all of Korverton!
253
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:37,615
- And me.
- Yes.
254
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,883
Hand me those coupons.
255
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,953
Oh, uh... right.
Just go easy on those coupons. They're
256
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,222
- going to kill our bottom line.
- Time to make it rain coupons.
257
00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:48,025
DJ: Hey! Come on down to One More Time!
258
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,761
Oh, all the way to the top, tough guy!
259
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,765
[KEERAN EXHALES]
260
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,166
Hello, my dear.
261
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,702
I'm looking for a pair
of skates for my son.
262
00:08:57,837 --> 00:08:59,570
Oh, no problem. What's his size?
263
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,773
- Thirteen.
- Okay.
264
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,641
I'm just gonna grab
them from the top shelf.
265
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:06,311
- Okay.
- All the way up there.
266
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:11,416
[GRUNTING IN PAIN]
267
00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:13,417
[STEPLADDER THUDS]
268
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:17,888
Argh!
269
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,324
You got this, Keeran.
270
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:20,926
Think of the breasts.
271
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,193
[GROANS]
272
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,095
And their eyes, of course. [GROANS]
273
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,697
Did I hear someone was looking
for a pair of size thirteens?
274
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:27,932
These beauties just came in.
275
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,500
Why don't I ring 'em up for you?
276
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:30,541
CUSTOMER: Okay.
277
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:34,406
[KEERAN BREATHING DEEPLY]
278
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:35,606
[GROANS] Augh...
279
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,208
Aah!
280
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,876
[MOANING IN PAIN]
281
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,078
We're locally owned,
282
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,814
we've been in the community since 1986.
283
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,882
We may not have rides,
but we've got spirit.
284
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,351
SECURITY: Sorry, sir.
285
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:47,619
You can't be here.
286
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,653
What? Why?
287
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,855
Boss's orders.
288
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,859
That's pretty extreme.
289
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:56,027
I'll say.
290
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,495
Hey, can we just talk to Carlito?
291
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:59,364
I feel like there's a
big misunderstanding.
292
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,366
Please, man, just walk away.
293
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,835
I don't know why Carlito
dislikes you so much,
294
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:07,038
but his anger really stresses me out.
295
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,907
Oh, that's the last thing
I want for you.
296
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:11,509
Really, this doesn't need
to be that big of a deal.
297
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:13,645
CARLITO: Oh, but it does!
298
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:16,181
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
299
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,515
Carlito.
300
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:21,519
You got a lot of cojones
showing up here today, hombre.
301
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:22,586
[HAPPY TONE] Hi!
302
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,055
Please enjoy the fair!
303
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,124
The corn dogs are delicioso!
304
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,593
Enjoy!
305
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:31,529
You got a lot of nerve pulling
a stunt like this today.
306
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:34,331
Oh, is today a special day? Huh?
307
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:36,200
A day you try to attract people to your
308
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,935
rickety little hand-me-down store?
309
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,937
Alright, cut the shit, Carlito!
310
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:43,141
Let's settle this right now,
mano a mano.
311
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,410
Now you're speaking my language.
312
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:46,644
Spanish!
313
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:51,349
[CLASSIC WESTERN FILM MUSIC]
314
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:55,920
?
315
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:01,358
You, me, dunk tank.
316
00:11:01,395 --> 00:11:03,360
You dunk me, we leave.
317
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:06,898
I dunk you, you cease
the merriment immediately.
318
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,599
You are grown men.
319
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,970
No one is getting in a dunk tank.
320
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,972
Your funeral, amigo!
321
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,708
Dawg, hold my dog.
322
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,177
I'ma dunk you like a donut, baby.
323
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,248
Hey, how can I help?
324
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,183
I'm almost sold on this skipping rope,
325
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,851
but is it long enough for two?
326
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,253
Only one way to find out, I guess.
327
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:30,855
[SCREAMS]
328
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,123
Are you okay?
329
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:35,459
You know what?
I'm a little shaken up, but I'll live.
330
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,394
I'm not gonna buy these.
331
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,931
What's wrong with your leg?
332
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:44,536
- That!
- Oh my God, that's disgusting.
333
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,070
Looks like a plum with veins.
334
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,606
Dude, you gotta go home, or like...
335
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,808
- to emergency.
- No!
336
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,075
I'm in it to win!
337
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,243
I want this prize!
338
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,914
Your dedication is both
inspiring and inexplicable.
339
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,817
Uh... here. At least wear this.
340
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,084
That's merch!
341
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,287
I'm sure DJ won't mind
if it helps with this,
342
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,088
I want to say life-threatening injury.
343
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,491
Good point. I'll take it.
344
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,526
Think you can help me?
345
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,861
Jen?
346
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,831
[FAST-PACED MUSIC]
347
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,533
WAYNE: Uh, may I help you, please?
348
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,234
- Dammit.
- Just right this way.
349
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,637
Hi.
350
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,906
CUSTOMER: Think you can help me?
351
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:27,411
They all want to play hockey.
352
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:31,049
?
353
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:34,252
?
354
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:35,386
?
355
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,522
Boom!
356
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:40,525
?
357
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:41,860
Right this way.
358
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,994
And yieu, and yieu, and yieu,
and yieu, and yieu, and yieu,
359
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,981
and yieu, and yieu, and yieu.
360
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,667
Come on, let's go!
361
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,002
Stop stretching!
362
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,804
Get to it, deaf jam! Come on!
363
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,474
Is this really the best use of our time?
364
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,615
I don't know.
365
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,611
Why don't you tell me?
366
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:00,878
Aah!
367
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,014
Swing and a miss, doo-doo arm!
368
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,481
Would'a been cool if I'd hit it, though,
369
00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:06,417
the way I said the line as I threw it.
370
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,819
Yeah, it would have been amazing.
371
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,654
I'm the king of the world!
372
00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:11,890
?
373
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:14,091
This ain't hockey, mijo!
374
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,893
You're in my playground now!
375
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,629
You play in a recreational
ping pong league!
376
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:19,831
It's table tennis!
377
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:20,932
And I'm not ashamed!
378
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,433
- Nor should you be!
- Hey!
379
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,968
Don't take my side!
380
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,570
Hey, gee, relax!
381
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:28,306
Hey, DJ, shouldn't you take
your hearing aids out?
382
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,141
They're not waterproof, right?
383
00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:32,377
Cynthia, if I take my hearing aids out,
384
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:36,247
I'll be telling Carlito
I expect him to dunk me.
385
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,616
The mind is the most powerful weapon.
386
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:42,320
- [BALL THUDS]
- CROWD: Ooh!
387
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,989
Oh-ho! Not enough mustard!
388
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,158
Looks like... augh!
389
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,392
[CROWD YELLING]
390
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:50,694
DJ! I told you...
391
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:53,865
[RINGING SILENCE]
392
00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,805
[CARNIVAL MUSIC]
393
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,540
One, two, three, four.
394
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,942
That was a punishingly
effective underarm.
395
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:10,414
- Towels in aisle seven...
- [RINGING SILENCE]
396
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:13,084
CARLITO: Back to the bodega, potato man!
397
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:15,887
[RINGING SILENCE]
398
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,823
Uh, DJ, just ignore him.
399
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,626
[RINGING SILENCE]
400
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:26,897
DAD: We're gonna sign you up later.
401
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,766
KID: But I don't wanna.
402
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,968
I saw what you said there.
403
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,104
I too was small at your age.
404
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,506
Then I became one of the
best damn hockey players
405
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,508
in Korverton.
406
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:41,679
You can do anything
you set your mind to.
407
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,580
WOMAN: You're gonna love it.
408
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:48,419
[RINGING SILENCE]
409
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,588
DJ?
410
00:14:50,627 --> 00:14:51,632
DJ: I get it.
411
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,524
You're too young to use a butter knife
412
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,526
yet they wanna strap
you to a couple blades
413
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:58,796
that could cut clean through
your achilles tendon.
414
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:03,067
It's scary,
but all the best things in life are.
415
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,602
MAN: No, no, no, no...
416
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,338
[RINGING SILENCE]
417
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:11,275
Sir... I saw you
call yourself a huge fatty.
418
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:14,679
Athletes come in all shapes
and sizes, my man.
419
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:21,151
DJ, cabs are the other way...
420
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:28,927
?
421
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:30,461
Do you always keep a second pair?
422
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:31,963
Five-second delay before they come on.
423
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:35,767
Oh, of course, right.
424
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,702
- You always keep a second pair?
- And a little song.
425
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:38,779
Oh.
426
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:41,972
[HUMMING]
427
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,441
And we're back!
428
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,476
You always keep a second
pair of hearing aids on you?
429
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,611
Of course. You never know when
you're gonna find yourself
430
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,780
humiliated in a public
dunk tank showdown.
431
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:51,048
I do know.
432
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,783
It's never.
433
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,319
Hey, I just wanna thank you
for having my back over there.
434
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,188
I disagreed with every choice you made.
435
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:58,325
Yet you stuck by me.
436
00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,924
I was trying to talk you out of it.
437
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:01,259
Still, you stayed by my side.
438
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,827
Didn't wanna waste the money
on two cabs, so...
439
00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:05,596
I'm trying to create a
little moment here, Cynth,
440
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:08,132
but you gotta meet me in
the middle a little bit.
441
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,500
We should get back to work.
442
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,136
All business. That's why I love ya.
443
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,572
Not gonna say it back, huh?
444
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:16,807
No.
445
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,345
Alright, bring it in, team.
446
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:24,115
As you all know,
today was supposed to be the electric
447
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:27,017
first edition of Unselfish Unsaturday.
448
00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:28,285
It gets worse every time I hear it.
449
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,721
- It wasn't meant to be.
- My head's spinning.
450
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,091
I know, buddy. It's been an insane day.
451
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:34,759
Sorry, crazy day.
452
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,028
I would have thought it
would take more than a few
453
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,297
cheap fair rides and
an incredible magician
454
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,898
to lure away our dedicated community,
455
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,692
but I was today years' old
when I learned I was wrong.
456
00:16:43,727 --> 00:16:44,535
No cap.
457
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,038
I guess it just goes to show you,
doesn't it?
458
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,974
Maybe I'm no longer relevant.
459
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:51,175
Maybe...
460
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:52,643
unfit to lead this team.
461
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:56,213
KID: That's the wet man who
said I could do anything!
462
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,783
Maybe there's still hope!
463
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:02,320
[JEN LAUGHS EXCITEDLY]
464
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:05,890
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
465
00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:07,157
I'll be right with you.
466
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,293
I wasn't saying I'm a huge fatty,
467
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,863
I was saying I'm gujarati!
468
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,264
Oh, my bad, dude.
469
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:14,999
I appreciate the message.
470
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:16,934
I always wanted to be a jockey.
471
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,736
Well, giddy-up, sir! Giddy-up.
472
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,205
Two water bottles.
You should try another one.
473
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,940
Three kids? Three kids? I heard three.
474
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:25,009
Did anyone help you today?
475
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,276
Oh, yes.
476
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:27,879
That would be Wayne.
477
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,114
Did you come here because
of my inspiring words?
478
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:32,282
WOMAN: No, coupon.
479
00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:34,385
Total is $88.71.
480
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,386
Love to see it. Big spender.
481
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,390
Real firm grip...
482
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,225
This racket is actually fantastic.
483
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,227
I'll come check you out.
484
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:44,462
DJ: Perfect.
485
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:47,231
CYNTHIA: Thank you.
Do you want a receipt?
486
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,966
There you go. Have a great day!
487
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:52,636
[WHIRRING]
488
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:56,907
?
489
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:58,910
Thank you. Take care.
490
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:07,117
Unselfish Unsaturday is officially over.
491
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,486
Alright, let's see the final tally!
492
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:09,786
Oh, wait, wait, before you do that,
493
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,989
can you let us know who sold
more between me and Wayne?
494
00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:14,659
- We got a thing going.
- Well...
495
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:16,260
By $21,
496
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,129
the winner is Wayne.
497
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,396
- Yes!
- What? No!
498
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,597
You cannot compete with the Wayne-maker!
499
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,466
- I was dominating out there!
- DJ: Hey, hey, hey.
500
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,669
Everyone was dominating out there.
501
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:28,038
Alright, now, let's see the final tally.
502
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,873
Ugh...
503
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:33,443
$19,986.
504
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,746
- We're off by $14?
- That's so close!
505
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,715
Do we still get the reward? Come on!
506
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,917
Obviously I'd love to reward
you for your hard work,
507
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,085
but I can't help but wonder...
508
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:44,087
What's the point of setting
goals if we're just gonna
509
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,156
move the goal post?
510
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,424
Ring it up!
511
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,825
Jesus, what the hell happened to you?
512
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:48,926
I blacked out,
513
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,629
and I came to in a cubby
hole in the breakroom.
514
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,498
Did you guys know there was a
cubby hole in the breakroom?
515
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,732
I don't think there is.
516
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,100
There's no cubby hole in our breakroom.
517
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:57,935
Anyways, forget about the
cubby hole in the breakroom.
518
00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,437
I grabbed this ankle brace from earlier
519
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:00,771
and I haven't paid for it.
520
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,507
Aw, buddy,
I would never make you pay for that...
521
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,943
I said ring... it... up!
522
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:07,612
You heard the man.
523
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,852
With this final purchase of the day,
524
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:17,054
our total sales are...
525
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:19,457
$20,016!
526
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,026
[ALL CHEERING]
527
00:19:22,095 --> 00:19:23,494
Amazing!
528
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,663
Oh, and, uh,
make sure to give the sale to Jen.
529
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,964
She gave me the ankle brace.
530
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,200
- Oh, oh!
- No... no!
531
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,669
Victory tastes so sweet! Nom, nom, nom!
532
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,638
Well, I promised you all a reward,
533
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,274
and a reward you shall receive.
534
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,610
Who's up for wings at Angry Al's?
535
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:42,446
Ah...
536
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,615
- Angry Al's?
- Wings.
537
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,684
You said it was something
we all need and love.
538
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:49,954
Yeah, we all need a good hang
after a hard day at work,
539
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,622
and I'm pretty sure
we all love wings, no?
540
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:52,957
What about breasts?
541
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,391
You can order whatever you want, champ,
542
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,661
but they're known for their wings.
543
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,017
Come on!
544
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,633
?
545
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,969
Another round for the 20-grand gang?
546
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,370
- Yeah!
- Oh...
547
00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:08,038
Well, who approved another round?
548
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:10,574
WAITRESS: And a virgin white
Russian for the young warrior.
549
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,775
I did. [LAUGHS]
550
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:12,876
Wow, is that 2%?
551
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,378
That might be too strong for you.
552
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,479
Those new hearing aids, DJ?
553
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,715
Uh, no. Very old, actually.
554
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,984
Yeah, they weight
about 17 pounds a piece,
555
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,186
and they make me look
like a deaf transformer,
556
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:24,322
but they're always there
when I need 'em.
557
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,423
Well, I think you look great.
558
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,726
Thank you.
559
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,328
Gwen just flirt with you there?
560
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:31,996
I mean...
561
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,900
Nope. False alarm.
562
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:38,902
Oh, I would, um, take it easy there.
563
00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:41,272
I forgot to mention that my
shift tomorrow is a double.
564
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:44,208
- Opening and closing.
- Shouldn't count.
565
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:46,310
DJ: All day at the store? Lucky guy.
566
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:47,478
WOMAN: Come on!
567
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,480
Let's be bad girls!
568
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:51,816
[WOMEN CHEERING]
569
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:55,219
[CHEERING AND LAUGHTER]
570
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:58,355
- We've lost him.
- Hey guys, cheers!
571
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:01,292
To an insane... a crazy...
572
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,060
a good day!
573
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,495
[ALL CHEERING]
574
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,096
Alright!
575
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:09,200
?
576
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:12,970
?
577
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,173
?
578
00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:19,176
?
579
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:22,913
?
580
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:26,050
?
581
00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:29,053
?
582
00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:32,189
?
583
00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:35,158
?
584
00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:39,758
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