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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,767 --> 00:00:16,400 BARRIE: Joyce wasn't a big fan of eulogies. 2 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,933 She wasn't interested in what people thought about her. 3 00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:21,967 She used to say, 4 00:00:22,067 --> 00:00:24,667 "I play the music, and that's enough." 5 00:00:25,433 --> 00:00:26,967 But since she died, 6 00:00:27,067 --> 00:00:30,667 a huge number of people have talked about her 7 00:00:30,767 --> 00:00:32,367 and what her music meant to the world 8 00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:35,067 and... Sorry, Joyce. 9 00:00:36,867 --> 00:00:38,800 Just to give you a tiny flavour... 10 00:00:40,867 --> 00:00:44,100 Radio 3 called her musicality an inspiration. 11 00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:50,633 "A virtuoso with an awesome pianistic technique." 12 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,533 The Independent, "I know of no pianist in the world 13 00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:59,567 "who is her superior, musically or technically." 14 00:00:59,667 --> 00:01:02,800 And some people have said how sad it was 15 00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:05,633 that illness cut short her concert career 16 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:09,067 and that her recording success came so late in life. 17 00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:10,200 Joyce didn't say that. 18 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:12,767 She wasn't interested in success, 19 00:01:12,867 --> 00:01:15,633 she was only interested in the music. 20 00:01:15,733 --> 00:01:19,433 "Joyce Hatto doesn't matter", she would say, 21 00:01:19,533 --> 00:01:22,067 it's only the music that matters. 22 00:01:23,133 --> 00:01:26,100 So I'm going to shut up now. 23 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:30,433 I can imagine Joycey looking down saying, "Get on with it, Barrie." 24 00:01:30,533 --> 00:01:34,500 I'll leave you with the most important bit of Joyce. 25 00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:38,933 The music. 26 00:01:43,467 --> 00:01:45,533 (PIANO CONCERTO NO. 1 PLAYING) 27 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,900 (CAMERAS CLICKING) 28 00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:20,600 REPORTER: Just one picture, please! 29 00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:22,700 (INDISTINCT TALKING) 30 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,200 (PHONE RINGS) 31 00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,333 (ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Hi, Barrie. James Inverne again. 32 00:02:27,433 --> 00:02:28,700 I'm sorry about the tabloids, 33 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,267 we had no choice but to publish the story. 34 00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:33,067 I'm afraid we now have even more evidence 35 00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:35,167 about Joyce's recordings. 36 00:02:35,267 --> 00:02:37,067 I suggest you call me. Thanks. 37 00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:38,400 (REPORTERS CLAMOURING) 38 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:52,567 This is Barrington-Coupe here. I'm prepared to talk. 39 00:02:52,667 --> 00:02:54,200 Give you the whole story. 40 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,067 (PIANO CONCERTO NO. 1 PLAYING) 41 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:08,200 (PIANO PLAYING) 42 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,167 She's jolly good. 43 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,933 She's not a student, is she? 44 00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:52,533 Yes. Joyce Hatto. 45 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:57,367 She must be going places. 46 00:03:57,467 --> 00:04:01,600 Well, girls... They always have that toss up about babies, don't they? 47 00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:22,167 Lovely. 48 00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:25,667 No, I agree, she's one to watch. 49 00:04:47,433 --> 00:04:51,100 Very, very good! Well done, Miss Hatto. 50 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,667 A round of applause, boys, please, for our rehearsal pianist. 51 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:56,400 (ALL APPLAUDING) 52 00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:10,600 -Oh, golly, sorry! -No, no, it's my fault, sorry. 53 00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:11,767 I forgot I was holding them. 54 00:05:11,867 --> 00:05:13,133 Oh, Lord, are they all out of order? 55 00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:14,467 Oh, I'll sort them out. 56 00:05:14,567 --> 00:05:17,567 Um, I'm Barrie, by the way. 57 00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:21,400 Barrington-Coupe. Barrie. Either... "Eether." You say potahto. 58 00:05:22,933 --> 00:05:25,133 -And I know who you are, obviously. -Do you want a hand? 59 00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:27,767 No, no, no, I'm used to wrestling with chunks of music. 60 00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:30,533 I work for music publishers. Hence my manly physique! 61 00:05:30,633 --> 00:05:32,700 MISS GUISELY: Mr Coupe, when they're in order 62 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,967 I'll have them, thank you. 63 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,133 Two ticks, Miss Guisely. Just wrestling with them. 64 00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:40,067 That was brilliant, by the way. 65 00:05:40,133 --> 00:05:42,700 I'm just the rehearsal dogsbody, not needed on voyage. 66 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,933 Oh, well, it won't get any better tonight, it couldn't. 67 00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:47,400 That was just... 68 00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:50,200 It was very moving. 69 00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:52,500 We aim to please. 70 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,767 You wouldn't fancy a cup of tea or something, I suppose, would you? 71 00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:58,667 Well, I suppose I could. As long as I get the bus by... 72 00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:01,667 I don't know any places. I'm... I'm a Thermos kind of girl. 73 00:06:01,767 --> 00:06:04,467 I'm sure we could strike out and find somewhere. 74 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,067 Mr Coupe, lovely to see you and all that, 75 00:06:09,167 --> 00:06:11,100 but I was rather hoping you might bring me up the music... 76 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,667 -Sorry. -...which, I believe, was the reason for your visit? 77 00:06:18,833 --> 00:06:21,333 I bet you've had all the agents sniffing around, haven't you? 78 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:23,433 Oh, no, I haven't, really. 79 00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:25,600 I haven't really had any big recitals. 80 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,067 I'm not really one of the sort of chosen few. 81 00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:30,367 -Oh, the golden boys? -Yes! 82 00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:31,500 (CHUCKLING) 83 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:32,667 Some of them have concert tours booked 84 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,667 and they haven't even graduated. 85 00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:36,500 You could do a concert tour. 86 00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:38,900 Liszt. 87 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:40,500 I bet you're brilliant at Liszt. 88 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,067 Go on, you love him, don't you? 89 00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:44,833 (CHUCKLES) I do love him. 90 00:06:44,933 --> 00:06:46,167 BOTH: And Chopin! 91 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,133 (GIGGLING) 92 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,300 I have this mad urge to do the Godowsky Variations. 93 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,933 Do you know them? 94 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:54,333 Well, no, I do know them. I'd love to hear you play them. 95 00:06:54,433 --> 00:06:57,067 Well, come back to me in about 10 years, then. 96 00:06:58,933 --> 00:07:01,167 Actually, I sort of think, I play a little bit better 97 00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:02,567 when no one's listening. 98 00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:04,267 It's not much of a career, playing in the front room. 99 00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:07,567 I'd love to do the whole concert thing, 100 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,233 but you have to be pretty tough. 101 00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,433 No, you don't need to be tough, 102 00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:12,800 you just need someone in your corner 103 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:15,633 who'll do all the tough stuff for you. 104 00:07:15,733 --> 00:07:17,767 I don't really have too many people in my corner. 105 00:07:19,233 --> 00:07:20,233 Well, um... 106 00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:21,767 I'm all for love's young dream, 107 00:07:21,867 --> 00:07:23,700 but some of us have got homes to go to. 108 00:07:25,733 --> 00:07:29,800 Seems a bit peculiar, why are you auditioning for a French man? 109 00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:31,667 French genius. 110 00:07:31,767 --> 00:07:34,133 Alfred Cortot is going to take five of us next term, one-on-one. 111 00:07:34,233 --> 00:07:36,833 We're all going to play and he's going to choose his five. 112 00:07:36,933 --> 00:07:38,233 Five's not many. 113 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,067 Well, Barrie thinks I'm in with a chance. 114 00:07:40,133 --> 00:07:42,867 He thinks Cortot and I are very sympathique! 115 00:07:42,967 --> 00:07:45,633 Oh, so, this was Barrie's suggestion? 116 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,267 You don't have to say his name like you're holding it with tongs. 117 00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:52,267 I'm not sure that I approve of all this boosting you up. 118 00:07:52,367 --> 00:07:54,167 If that's viscose it'll need a cloth. 119 00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:57,100 Where's the bottle? 120 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,833 Barrie thinks I have a future doing big concerts. 121 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,067 Barrie didn't see you run off the stage with nerves 122 00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:06,467 at the Chelsea Town Hall. 123 00:08:06,567 --> 00:08:07,733 That was years ago. 124 00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:09,233 Sleeves first. 125 00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:13,167 Or sit there like a rabbit in headlights at that charity do. 126 00:08:13,967 --> 00:08:15,433 Oh, I was mortified. 127 00:08:15,533 --> 00:08:17,100 Barrie and I are working on that. 128 00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:21,300 What exactly is he, this Barrie? 129 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,433 He's a classical music impresario. 130 00:08:24,533 --> 00:08:26,667 You want to talk to Daddy about music people. 131 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:29,333 Daddy's a baker, what does he know about music people? 132 00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:32,933 Remember the Beverley Sisters' wedding cake and all those shenanigans? 133 00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:35,333 They were music people, if you call that music. 134 00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:37,700 I think he sounds wily, this Barrie. 135 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,567 You can't go living on compliments. 136 00:08:41,367 --> 00:08:42,833 (BELL TOLLING) 137 00:08:42,933 --> 00:08:46,733 Sorry, sorry, I'm late. Shirt collar debacle. What time's kick off? 138 00:08:46,833 --> 00:08:49,300 Cortot's gone in. I should go and warm up. 139 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,667 Are you ready for this ordeal? 140 00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:53,500 -Yes, I'll see you in there, Erich! -I'll see you in there! 141 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:55,800 He's German. 142 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:04,467 Joyce, you can absolutely do this. 143 00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:07,133 Keep your eye on the prize, learning from Cortot. 144 00:09:07,233 --> 00:09:09,633 This is your big chance, Joyce. 145 00:09:09,733 --> 00:09:11,967 Keep telling yourself, "You deserve this." 146 00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:16,133 Oh, Lord, now I'm getting emotional! 147 00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:21,200 (MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY) 148 00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,733 (PIANO PLAYING) 149 00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:47,900 (INDISTINCT TALKING) 150 00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:52,600 Thank you, Robert. And can we have Joyce Hatto, please? 151 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,067 Playing? 152 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:03,800 JOYCE: Sorry? 153 00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:04,800 You are playing? 154 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:08,167 Oh, sorry. Schumann. Fantasie Op. 17. 155 00:10:22,333 --> 00:10:23,567 Sorry. 156 00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:29,533 (PLAYING PIANO) 157 00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,133 Sorry, I just need to... 158 00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:30,133 (PLAYING WRONG NOTES) 159 00:11:50,433 --> 00:11:51,633 (SIGHS) 160 00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:06,100 Okay. So, Cortot's a blithering idiot 161 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,100 and he's picked five no-hopers who won't threaten him, but... 162 00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,233 How'd it go for you? 163 00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:13,433 How much did you hear? 164 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,367 Me? I never even went into the college. 165 00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:18,100 Well, I was pretty pleased. 166 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,500 -Good! -Couple of bishes, but the emotion was there. 167 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,367 That's what probably scared him off, all that womanly passion! 168 00:12:24,467 --> 00:12:28,733 Steady the buffs! Old Erich didn't get through either. 169 00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:31,733 Well, frog's not going to pick a Kraut, is he? 170 00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:35,833 Anyway, this time next year, Miss Hatto, 171 00:12:35,933 --> 00:12:39,233 you can forget that bunch of desiccated old shirt-lifters, 172 00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:41,333 because you will be under the care 173 00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:44,767 of Barrington-Coupe Artistes Management, 174 00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:48,433 and you will be heading straight for the stratosphere. 175 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:52,733 -Fancy a bun? -Oh, yes, I love buns. 176 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,400 MRS HATTO: I'm not sure you should be signing a contract 177 00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,700 without showing it to your father. 178 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,100 What does Daddy know about artists' management? Nothing! 179 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,833 He knows about invoices. 180 00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:06,700 Yes. 181 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,533 (STUTTERING) This isn't an invoice, 182 00:13:08,633 --> 00:13:10,533 it's a management agreement. 183 00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:13,067 Between me and Mr Barrington-Coupe. 184 00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:15,267 It's not an order for two dozen coffee eclairs. 185 00:13:15,367 --> 00:13:16,967 What's he going to do, this Barrington-Coupe, 186 00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:18,133 once you've signed it? 187 00:13:18,233 --> 00:13:19,967 -He's going to manage my career. -Your teaching? 188 00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:22,733 I'm not doing teaching! How many more times... 189 00:13:23,733 --> 00:13:26,100 I mean, I might do a bit of teaching, 190 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,467 but basically I'll be building up my concert profile 191 00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:31,967 and if you don't want to witness my signature 192 00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:33,733 then I'll take it to Barrie's office 193 00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:35,167 and get one of the girls there to do it. 194 00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:36,633 Sorry to have bothered you. 195 00:13:41,433 --> 00:13:42,733 MAN: Morning, Joyce. 196 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:03,867 Sorry, excuse me, 197 00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,633 I was just looking for Mr Barrington-Coupe's office 198 00:14:05,733 --> 00:14:07,367 and I only have his card from when he was working here. 199 00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:08,967 -Barrie? -Yes. 200 00:14:09,067 --> 00:14:10,733 I wasn't sure where his new offices were. 201 00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:13,767 He doesn't have another office, but I think he's in now. 202 00:14:13,867 --> 00:14:17,400 -He's here? -No, he'll be on the fifth floor. It's his late morning. 203 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:18,733 (PHONE RINGING) 204 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,767 Seidelman Music Publishing. 205 00:14:22,867 --> 00:14:25,900 I know, that was my posh voice! (GIGGLES) 206 00:14:30,733 --> 00:14:32,067 WOMAN: Are you going out tonight? 207 00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:44,067 (DOORBELL BUZZING) 208 00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,633 (TOILET FLUSHING) 209 00:14:49,433 --> 00:14:50,867 I was looking for your office. 210 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,400 Is this where you live? 211 00:14:55,933 --> 00:14:57,100 The thing is... 212 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,267 The girl didn't seem to know anything about a new office. 213 00:14:59,367 --> 00:15:00,833 And I thought you lived in Henley. 214 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,800 -Look, Joyce... -No, I don't think I will look, thank you. 215 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:05,700 Because I seem to be looking at a liar, 216 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,567 and someone who's made a pretty good idiot out of me by buttering me up. 217 00:15:10,133 --> 00:15:13,067 Why did you say you could help my career? 218 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:14,667 What on earth did you think you were playing at? 219 00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:16,700 Because I can help your career. 220 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:21,133 Managing someone's career is about passion and instinct and empathy, 221 00:15:21,233 --> 00:15:22,467 and I've got all that. 222 00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:24,933 And... 223 00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:27,867 No, I don't have filing cabinets and switchboards. 224 00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:30,133 -But you said you did! -Because I will have! 225 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,867 I visualise things and then I make them happen. 226 00:15:37,933 --> 00:15:40,467 (SIGHING) And now I've ballsed it all up. 227 00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:44,567 So, yes, I'm a liar. 228 00:15:47,367 --> 00:15:49,067 And I live in one horrible room. 229 00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:52,700 It's my mother who lives in Henley 230 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,433 and she's not very keen on me. 231 00:15:58,067 --> 00:16:01,700 And I saw something in you and I wanted to make it work for you 232 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,233 and I got a bit ahead of myself 233 00:16:04,333 --> 00:16:06,400 because I could see it all so clearly. 234 00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:11,933 And I am heartbroken that I've messed it all up. 235 00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:13,667 (SOBS) 236 00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,100 Oh, Lord, don't cry. 237 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,600 Well, I will cry. 238 00:16:20,133 --> 00:16:21,867 Because I can't bear that I've lost you. 239 00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:28,733 Do you really believe in me as a pianist? 240 00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:31,533 No question. 241 00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:37,633 I'm sorry for the muddle. 242 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,267 Be careful going down the stairs, 243 00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:44,700 they've got a bit of a dip in them. 244 00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:50,067 You're a lovely girl, Joyce. 245 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,067 Hardly. I've got wonky hair! 246 00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:55,067 That's what your mother makes you see, that's not what I see. 247 00:16:55,167 --> 00:16:56,467 You're lovely. 248 00:16:57,533 --> 00:16:59,200 And you're sweet. And funny. 249 00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:04,967 That's what I see anyway. Or did see. 250 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,567 We can't have any more muddles. 251 00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:12,400 We won't. 252 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,767 Scout's honour. 253 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,933 -Were you a Scout? -No. 254 00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:18,300 Thought not. 255 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,433 Can you make tea? 256 00:17:19,533 --> 00:17:21,067 Oh, yeah... Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 257 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,633 I'll, uh... I'll get the milk. 258 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,067 I'll, uh... I'll just get the milk. 259 00:17:40,533 --> 00:17:42,233 (CAMERA CLICKING) 260 00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:45,200 That's enough, Horace. Three's enough. 261 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,067 Shall I get someone to take the four of us? 262 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,500 No, don't go bothering people. 263 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,600 Excuse me. Sorry to bother, daughter's wedding. 264 00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:55,600 Are you sure you don't want to go out for a nice supper? 265 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,467 No, honestly, we've got so much to do at the house. 266 00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:00,467 Wallpapering waits for no man. 267 00:18:00,567 --> 00:18:01,767 Oh, are you waiting for a man? 268 00:18:01,867 --> 00:18:04,300 We could have given you the name of a man. 269 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,800 No, no, we're going to do it ourselves. 270 00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:08,733 I thought you were waiting for a man. 271 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,600 Say cheese. 272 00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:13,633 -Or should it be Tchaikovsky? -Don't try and be funny, Horace. 273 00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:15,800 (CAMERA CLICKING) 274 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,533 Your case is upstairs, Mrs B-C. 275 00:18:24,633 --> 00:18:28,367 Do you, uh, fancy turning in? 276 00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:30,600 Yes, yes, let's go up. 277 00:18:32,533 --> 00:18:36,633 Did I, uh... Did I hear something about a negligee? 278 00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:38,067 Yes. 279 00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:40,533 Would you want me to put it on? 280 00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:42,533 I'll say. 281 00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:44,833 Let the dog see the rabbit. 282 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:47,533 What? 283 00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:50,167 Uh, nothing. 284 00:18:50,267 --> 00:18:53,467 Look, I'll, uh... I'll go for a stroll. 285 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,233 Nice married man's stroll. 286 00:18:55,333 --> 00:19:00,867 And, uh, you sort yourself out and I'll see you in the boudoir. 287 00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:07,467 Do you think I should just check the piano? 288 00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:11,467 It's fine, it's got all its legs. 289 00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:14,833 In a while, crocodile. 290 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,500 (DOGS BARKING AT A DISTANCE) 291 00:19:32,467 --> 00:19:34,200 (PIANO PLAYING) 292 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,167 Joycey? 293 00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:55,067 Oh, Lord, negligee, wedding night, sorry. 294 00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:56,433 You carry on. 295 00:19:57,467 --> 00:19:59,633 I'll have another scrape at the banisters. 296 00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:05,100 (PLAYING PIANO) 297 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,500 BARRIE: Yes, I shall get my secretary to type that up for you 298 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,633 and I shall see you with Miss Hatto on the 24th. 299 00:20:20,533 --> 00:20:22,100 Looking forward to it. 300 00:20:23,067 --> 00:20:24,633 Okay. Bye, bye. 301 00:20:24,733 --> 00:20:28,967 Mrs Barrington-Coupe, just putting in another booking for Miss Hatto. 302 00:20:29,067 --> 00:20:31,600 What do you do when they ask to speak to the secretary? 303 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:32,967 I say she's on the other line. 304 00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,200 Have you got two lines? 305 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,367 No. Now, look at this. 306 00:20:36,467 --> 00:20:38,400 Kirkcaldy and Pitlochry all booked in. 307 00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:40,967 Letchworth, Evesham, Spalding, 308 00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,900 music club circuit looks like it might happen. 309 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,733 Golly, it's really filled up, hasn't it? 310 00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:45,867 I said it would. 311 00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:48,167 Oh, and look what came back from the printers! 312 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,433 I'm hardly acclaimed or international. 313 00:20:53,533 --> 00:20:55,267 It's one nice review from Ventnor. 314 00:20:55,367 --> 00:20:57,500 Let me explain something to you. 315 00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:00,800 I go to see Joyce Hatto. 316 00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:03,700 The poster says, "Joyce Hatto hasn't done much." 317 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,833 I don't have much of an evening, do I? 318 00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:08,467 But if I give over my 17 and 6 to see Joyce Hatto, 319 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,600 acclaimed international pianist... 320 00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:12,200 I have a fantastic evening! 321 00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:13,667 But the playing will still be the same! 322 00:21:13,767 --> 00:21:16,167 Everyone in this agency can play! 323 00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:18,433 What matters is the story. 324 00:21:18,533 --> 00:21:20,667 Now, you play, I'll figure out the story. 325 00:21:32,633 --> 00:21:35,400 BARRIE: No one to move Miss Hatto's stool, thank you! 326 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,133 (PLAYING PIANO) 327 00:22:02,467 --> 00:22:03,733 (CROWD APPLAUDING) 328 00:22:42,533 --> 00:22:43,967 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 329 00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:48,667 Okay, gents. Okay, okay, okay. 330 00:22:48,767 --> 00:22:51,700 I just need to hear the strings on their own, this is Jealous Lover. 331 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,500 You've all got Jealous Lover, haven't you? 332 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,167 'Cause if nine of you play Jealous Lover 333 00:22:55,267 --> 00:22:57,300 and one plays Dangerous Moonlight it's going to be a long day. 334 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,067 I shall see you in there. 335 00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:05,600 (INSTRUMENTS PLAYING) 336 00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:08,067 Shall I play, Barrie? 337 00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:10,900 Why not? It is your album, after all. 338 00:23:11,067 --> 00:23:13,233 Do you want to count them in, Joycey, just for now? 339 00:23:13,333 --> 00:23:14,433 (CHUCKLES) Okay. 340 00:23:14,533 --> 00:23:16,400 On my wife's count. 341 00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:18,900 Two, three, four, one, two. 342 00:23:19,067 --> 00:23:20,767 (JEALOUS LOVER PLAYING) 343 00:23:33,067 --> 00:23:34,400 (PLAYING PIANO) 344 00:24:16,267 --> 00:24:17,467 Barrie. 345 00:24:52,067 --> 00:24:54,833 We'll get there with the babies, Ducky. 346 00:24:56,633 --> 00:24:58,767 The doc said it was nobody's fault. 347 00:25:03,067 --> 00:25:04,533 (MUSIC PLAYING ON TV) 348 00:25:06,433 --> 00:25:07,867 Nice, aren't they, those radios? 349 00:25:07,967 --> 00:25:10,133 I'm bringing 4,000 in from Hong Kong. 350 00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:12,700 I'm on a whacking profit. 351 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:13,900 Very nice. 352 00:25:14,067 --> 00:25:16,233 MRS HATTO: Have you given up the record label, then? 353 00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:20,400 No! In fact, we've just signed a new artist! 354 00:25:21,233 --> 00:25:22,500 Oh... 355 00:25:22,933 --> 00:25:24,067 Just Joyce. 356 00:25:25,133 --> 00:25:27,733 "Music from the Films." 357 00:25:27,833 --> 00:25:31,467 You look quite beaky in profile, you'd have done better full-face. 358 00:25:31,567 --> 00:25:33,967 This is more like it, Dream of Olwen. 359 00:25:34,067 --> 00:25:35,767 We thought we'd make some more albums this year. 360 00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:37,933 BARRIE: And get Joyce back on the road next year, 361 00:25:38,067 --> 00:25:39,867 when she's bounced back from the, um... 362 00:25:39,967 --> 00:25:43,167 And I'm going to do a bit of teaching. Mother? 363 00:25:43,267 --> 00:25:44,967 You could play the accordion, Joyce. 364 00:25:45,067 --> 00:25:48,433 Just two days a week, nice private girls' school in Hertfordshire. 365 00:25:48,533 --> 00:25:49,933 What will you do, go from Euston? 366 00:25:50,067 --> 00:25:52,200 Shh, Andy Stewart. 367 00:25:53,067 --> 00:25:54,567 Turn it up, Barrie! 368 00:25:54,667 --> 00:25:57,500 (DONALD WHERE'S YOUR TROOSERS PLAYING ON TV) 369 00:26:01,167 --> 00:26:02,600 (TURNS UP VOLUME) 370 00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:08,133 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 371 00:26:14,533 --> 00:26:16,467 -(PIANO PLAYING) -GIRL: Faster! Faster! 372 00:26:17,133 --> 00:26:18,400 (GIRLS GIGGLING) 373 00:26:24,700 --> 00:26:28,700 Now, how do we think Chopin would have played it? Hmm? 374 00:26:52,733 --> 00:26:54,600 I'm Miss Hatto, and you are? 375 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:57,233 I'm Elizabeth Jane Pilkington, Miss Hatto. 376 00:26:57,333 --> 00:27:00,067 E.J. Pilkington at 11:30, very good. 377 00:27:00,933 --> 00:27:02,333 So, who are you? 378 00:27:02,433 --> 00:27:04,833 Please, Miss Hatto, she's Eleanor Margaret Bird and she doesn't 379 00:27:04,933 --> 00:27:07,833 have to do Domestic Science because her mother's just died. 380 00:27:07,933 --> 00:27:10,667 So, I thought she might like to come and help me have my lesson. 381 00:27:10,767 --> 00:27:12,333 Pilks. 382 00:27:12,433 --> 00:27:15,333 Eleanor Margaret Bird, do you find that in any way an appealing plan? 383 00:27:15,433 --> 00:27:16,933 Yes, it is, please, thank you. 384 00:27:18,133 --> 00:27:19,600 Shoes off, then, girls! 385 00:27:20,567 --> 00:27:24,200 Now, Miss E.J. Pilkington, 386 00:27:24,300 --> 00:27:28,067 are you Elizabeth, Betty, Beth, Lizzie? 387 00:27:28,100 --> 00:27:29,167 What do I call you? 388 00:27:29,267 --> 00:27:31,067 Oh, I'm Pilks. And she's Birdy. 389 00:27:32,367 --> 00:27:35,967 (CHUCKLES) Very good. Birdy and Pilks, hop up! 390 00:27:36,933 --> 00:27:38,767 Now, each of you put a foot on the pedal. 391 00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:41,300 Birdy, you're soft and Pilks, you're sustain. 392 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:42,467 Now, I'm going to play 393 00:27:42,567 --> 00:27:44,167 and when I shout out, you're going to pedal. 394 00:27:44,267 --> 00:27:45,467 Mmm-hmm? 395 00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:47,833 Sustain! 396 00:27:47,933 --> 00:27:48,933 (PLAYING PIANO) 397 00:27:49,067 --> 00:27:50,067 Soft! 398 00:27:50,667 --> 00:27:51,800 Sustain! 399 00:27:51,900 --> 00:27:52,900 Soft! 400 00:27:53,833 --> 00:27:55,500 -Oh, Serge! -(GIRLS GIGGLING) 401 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,133 You called, milady? 402 00:27:57,233 --> 00:27:58,467 I was talking to the dog. 403 00:27:58,567 --> 00:28:00,767 -So hard to tell. -(GIRLS GIGGLING) 404 00:28:00,867 --> 00:28:04,500 Now, I bet Miss Hatto has never mentioned this, has she? 405 00:28:08,067 --> 00:28:09,433 Wow! 406 00:28:10,067 --> 00:28:11,100 BARRIE: Or this? 407 00:28:12,633 --> 00:28:16,467 And this, you are the first people to see this. 408 00:28:16,567 --> 00:28:18,800 Now, this isn't even in the shops yet. 409 00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:23,300 BIRDY: Bax? 410 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,200 Not easy to play. Unless you happen to be Miss Hatto, of course. 411 00:28:26,300 --> 00:28:29,167 And when Miss Hatto plays the Festival Hall... 412 00:28:29,267 --> 00:28:32,833 There will of course, be two seats reserved in the name of Birdy and Pilks. 413 00:28:32,933 --> 00:28:35,233 The Festival Hall, that's so posh! 414 00:28:35,333 --> 00:28:38,133 And just to prove I'm not completely useless myself... 415 00:28:38,233 --> 00:28:40,933 Make a tray, make a tray! 416 00:28:41,067 --> 00:28:44,933 Present from Golders Green via Hong Kong. 417 00:28:45,833 --> 00:28:48,867 The smallest Dictaphone in the world. 418 00:28:48,967 --> 00:28:50,100 (GIRLS GASPING) 419 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,300 It's like Cracker Jack! 420 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,067 PILKS: Do you have any comment to make? 421 00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,067 JOYCE: Right, scrap that one... 422 00:28:58,833 --> 00:29:00,933 Suppose we start with the Bach? 423 00:29:01,067 --> 00:29:03,900 No, these are big concert halls, you have to start with a bang, 424 00:29:04,067 --> 00:29:05,400 set your stall out. 425 00:29:07,067 --> 00:29:08,633 Prokofiev. 426 00:29:08,733 --> 00:29:12,200 No messing about. Right, scribble this down 427 00:29:12,300 --> 00:29:14,900 because I am in the groove, daddy-o. 428 00:29:15,067 --> 00:29:16,400 (DOORBELL RINGS) 429 00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,367 Right, Prokofiev to kick off. 430 00:29:18,467 --> 00:29:20,533 I've got a big hole in my second half, then. 431 00:29:20,633 --> 00:29:23,833 BARRIE: Yes? MAN: Mr Coupe, we're from Customs and Excise. 432 00:29:25,533 --> 00:29:27,200 -Joyce. -What? 433 00:29:29,633 --> 00:29:32,600 It's not about the dog again, is it? We do try and keep him in! 434 00:29:32,700 --> 00:29:33,900 It's about the radios. 435 00:29:34,067 --> 00:29:35,467 Radios? 436 00:29:35,567 --> 00:29:36,800 It's just a muddle. 437 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:38,400 Are they all here, Mr Coupe? 438 00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:40,833 No, no, there are some in the garage and, uh, 439 00:29:40,933 --> 00:29:42,800 some in the box room on the top floor. 440 00:29:42,900 --> 00:29:44,700 You start on the upstairs ones, Mendelssohn, 441 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,333 you can get Parker to help. 442 00:29:46,433 --> 00:29:48,233 A policeman called Mendelssohn. 443 00:29:48,333 --> 00:29:50,167 We'll need all the paperwork, of course. 444 00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:52,733 Yes, yes, of course. 445 00:29:54,867 --> 00:29:59,333 Sorry, um, I don't understand. Are the radios faulty? 446 00:29:59,433 --> 00:30:00,700 Are they being recalled? 447 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:02,933 It's a purchase tax issue. We're impounding them. 448 00:30:03,033 --> 00:30:04,000 It's just a muddle, Joycey. 449 00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:05,867 I'll just have to go with them to sort it out. 450 00:30:05,967 --> 00:30:07,667 Oh, but not today, though, surely! 451 00:30:07,767 --> 00:30:09,433 Sorry, I'm just preparing some rather important concerts 452 00:30:09,533 --> 00:30:11,333 and we really need to sort out the programme. 453 00:30:11,433 --> 00:30:14,533 No, I'm afraid we don't usually arrest people at their own convenience. 454 00:30:17,500 --> 00:30:18,700 Can we just take the gentleman up with us, sir, 455 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,633 make sure we're taking the right things? 456 00:30:27,267 --> 00:30:28,867 JOYCE: Do you know how long it will take? 457 00:30:28,967 --> 00:30:30,367 I was going to do chops. 458 00:30:30,467 --> 00:30:33,033 I can't say. We won't starve him. 459 00:30:33,133 --> 00:30:34,967 I don't understand what's happened. I mean, he's been 460 00:30:35,067 --> 00:30:37,467 importing all sorts of things for nearly a year. 461 00:30:37,567 --> 00:30:39,700 So we've gathered. 462 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,233 He may've got in a muddle with his paperwork. 463 00:30:42,333 --> 00:30:45,000 We've been a bit distracted planning these concerts. 464 00:30:46,300 --> 00:30:47,733 I mean, it's not a serious offence? 465 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,133 It's a very serious offence. 466 00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:01,600 BARRIE: Dog behaving himself? JOYCE: Yes. 467 00:32:02,167 --> 00:32:03,167 That's good. 468 00:32:05,733 --> 00:32:07,400 Not knocked over any more gnomes? 469 00:32:07,833 --> 00:32:08,833 No. 470 00:32:11,533 --> 00:32:13,067 How's the playing? 471 00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:14,400 What playing would that be? 472 00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:15,800 Oh, come on, Joyce. 473 00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:18,533 Would that be the playing for the big concert series? 474 00:32:18,633 --> 00:32:19,967 Oh, no. I had to cancel that, didn't I? 475 00:32:20,067 --> 00:32:22,200 Because the promoter's on trial at the Old Bailey. 476 00:32:22,300 --> 00:32:24,700 -Why do you bother to come, Joyce? -Well I... 477 00:32:26,267 --> 00:32:30,600 I'm still hoping to hear some kind of explanation. 478 00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:33,167 I was just doing what every other bugger in business does, 479 00:32:33,267 --> 00:32:34,633 if they think they can get away with it. 480 00:32:36,067 --> 00:32:38,767 I didn't rob a bank. I just skimped on some paperwork. 481 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:41,267 We needed the money... 482 00:32:41,367 --> 00:32:42,633 We needed the money because you had made 483 00:32:42,733 --> 00:32:44,633 such a lamentable fist of being a concert promoter. 484 00:32:44,733 --> 00:32:46,700 No, Joyce, we needed the money because... 485 00:32:47,900 --> 00:32:48,933 Because what? 486 00:32:52,100 --> 00:32:53,167 It doesn't matter. 487 00:33:08,900 --> 00:33:10,200 (PIANO PLAYING) 488 00:33:30,833 --> 00:33:32,267 Don't stop. 489 00:33:32,367 --> 00:33:36,333 I'm sure that's one thing you didn't miss. Me murdering Godowsky. 490 00:33:36,433 --> 00:33:37,700 I missed all of it. 491 00:33:45,833 --> 00:33:46,833 I was a nit. 492 00:33:50,700 --> 00:33:52,900 They're doing a big Chopin thing at the Festival Hall. 493 00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:57,200 They called me. I thought I might give it a bash. 494 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,267 Toe in the water. No boosting required. 495 00:34:03,533 --> 00:34:07,933 Are you going self-op, or can a pal come along? 496 00:34:10,367 --> 00:34:11,600 Pal's always nice. 497 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,567 (PIANO PLAYING) 498 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,567 Getting the feel, Miss Hatto? 499 00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:39,700 Everyone's parked up, your mother's been to the ladies'. 500 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:40,800 All serene! 501 00:34:40,900 --> 00:34:42,067 I can't get this... 502 00:34:42,133 --> 00:34:44,467 -Here, let me... -Leave it. I'll do it later. 503 00:34:46,333 --> 00:34:47,533 Come on... 504 00:34:48,567 --> 00:34:50,133 We've worked for this. 505 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,367 Play how you play at home. 506 00:34:53,467 --> 00:34:56,367 Never mind about the stool and the people fanning themselves 507 00:34:56,467 --> 00:34:58,800 with their programmes, just play the music. 508 00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:02,733 This is us back in the game, hmm? 509 00:35:03,367 --> 00:35:04,533 The old firm! 510 00:35:05,967 --> 00:35:08,500 The two before you, they're not going to set the Thames on fire. 511 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,733 No hoper, no hoper, Hatto, interval, perfect. 512 00:35:11,833 --> 00:35:13,833 Get on, get off, get out. Yep? 513 00:35:16,500 --> 00:35:18,400 See you later, alligator. 514 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,067 (PIANO PLAYING) 515 00:35:59,633 --> 00:36:01,167 (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) 516 00:36:10,067 --> 00:36:11,167 MAN: Good luck, Miss Hatto! 517 00:36:14,533 --> 00:36:15,700 Ready for off? 518 00:36:19,467 --> 00:36:20,633 (APPLAUSE) 519 00:36:38,333 --> 00:36:39,800 (SOFTLY) Always has to fiddle. 520 00:37:38,133 --> 00:37:39,700 (APPLAUSE) 521 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:13,933 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) 522 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:12,633 I thought I could do it. 523 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:15,967 But I couldn't do it. 524 00:40:20,033 --> 00:40:21,433 Look, there's... 525 00:40:25,567 --> 00:40:28,467 There's a thing you have to have inside 526 00:40:30,133 --> 00:40:31,933 to really make it. 527 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,800 And I don't have it. 528 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:46,800 Maybe neither of us do. 529 00:40:50,567 --> 00:40:52,433 Maybe we just flew too high. 530 00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:55,900 Melted our wings? 531 00:40:59,067 --> 00:41:00,567 Melted our wings, Ducky. 532 00:41:10,133 --> 00:41:11,133 We'll be all right. 533 00:41:15,633 --> 00:41:17,133 We'll be all right. 534 00:41:54,667 --> 00:41:57,567 People say to me, "Oh, Liszt is so romantic," and I say, 535 00:41:57,667 --> 00:42:00,200 "No, you're wrong, he's not romantic, he's passionate, 536 00:42:00,300 --> 00:42:02,267 "and there's every difference in the world." 537 00:42:02,367 --> 00:42:04,567 And I say, "There's no point in waving your arms about like a dying duck 538 00:42:04,667 --> 00:42:08,367 "in a thunderstorm, because if you don't feel the power from here, 539 00:42:08,467 --> 00:42:10,567 "then it doesn't matter what you feel about Liszt, 540 00:42:10,667 --> 00:42:12,533 "you won't be doing him justice when you play." 541 00:42:12,633 --> 00:42:16,067 No, absolutely, we'll have to remember that when Claudie gets on to Liszt. 542 00:42:16,167 --> 00:42:17,367 Say thank you for the KitKat, Eleanor. 543 00:42:17,467 --> 00:42:18,467 Thank you, Miss Hatto. 544 00:42:18,567 --> 00:42:20,667 See you next Monday. Thank you! 545 00:42:20,767 --> 00:42:22,200 -People think it's from the wrist, -(CAR DOOR CLOSING) 546 00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:25,733 but the wrists have nothing to do with it. It's all from here. 547 00:42:27,067 --> 00:42:28,067 (CHUCKLES) 548 00:42:30,167 --> 00:42:31,600 (ENGINE STARTS) 549 00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:51,867 MAN ON TV: ...into a full blown squabble. 550 00:42:51,967 --> 00:42:53,233 (SCREECHING) 551 00:42:53,333 --> 00:42:55,567 -But there is still no dominance, despite... -(DOOR OPENS) 552 00:42:57,900 --> 00:43:00,067 And Simon definitely needs the discipline. 553 00:43:00,100 --> 00:43:01,067 (DOOR CLOSES) 554 00:43:01,167 --> 00:43:02,067 BARRIE: I'm back. 555 00:43:02,133 --> 00:43:03,600 JOYCE: Big drama with the new monkey. 556 00:43:03,700 --> 00:43:05,633 MAN ON TV: He's a bit of a bully. Ever since... 557 00:43:05,733 --> 00:43:06,767 Simon? 558 00:43:06,867 --> 00:43:08,900 He's just bitten Arthur and they've got rid of him! 559 00:43:09,067 --> 00:43:11,933 I knew it. It's an accident waiting to happen. 560 00:43:12,633 --> 00:43:14,067 How was the post office? 561 00:43:14,100 --> 00:43:16,800 Oh, very boring. Big queue. 562 00:43:16,900 --> 00:43:17,733 Lots of old dodderers. 563 00:43:17,833 --> 00:43:19,600 (CHUCKLES) Isn't that the pot calling? 564 00:43:19,700 --> 00:43:22,933 (LAUGHS) But what I did spot while I was waiting... 565 00:43:24,933 --> 00:43:25,933 Fanfare? 566 00:43:27,967 --> 00:43:30,967 -Oh, that's jolly nifty. -I should cocoa... 567 00:43:31,067 --> 00:43:32,700 Put them all in of a Sunday night, 568 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,533 Bob's your uncle, and Fanny we don't talk about. 569 00:43:34,633 --> 00:43:36,733 You didn't put the answer machine on. I rather like this. 570 00:43:36,833 --> 00:43:39,367 Hmm, I know. I remembered while I was in the queue. 571 00:43:39,467 --> 00:43:42,567 -You didn't pick up? -No, no. It rang a couple of times. 572 00:43:42,667 --> 00:43:46,800 Ah. All right, well, I'll just put your horse pills in here 573 00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:48,633 and then... 574 00:43:48,733 --> 00:43:51,533 How are we feeling about some macaroni cheese? 575 00:43:52,733 --> 00:43:55,133 We're feeling reasonably positive. 576 00:43:55,233 --> 00:43:58,467 Turn up the monkeys and call me if the girl with the bottom comes on. 577 00:43:59,300 --> 00:44:00,733 (TURNS UP VOLUME) 578 00:44:00,833 --> 00:44:02,567 MAN ON TV: Now, it's low-ranking male, Arthur's turn. 579 00:44:02,667 --> 00:44:04,133 -(DOORBELL RINGS) -He isn't quite as... 580 00:44:04,233 --> 00:44:05,767 What's that idiot child forgotten now? 581 00:44:05,867 --> 00:44:07,467 ...and his courting skill... 582 00:44:09,733 --> 00:44:12,300 I'm so sorry just to ring the doorbell. 583 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:15,067 I did phone earlier, but got no reply. 584 00:44:15,100 --> 00:44:18,367 I am looking for Concert Artists, the record label? 585 00:44:18,467 --> 00:44:20,300 Yes, yes, that's us. How can I help? 586 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,467 I'm only in England for a couple more days 587 00:44:22,567 --> 00:44:25,933 and you have a couple of records on your website 588 00:44:26,067 --> 00:44:29,800 I would very much like to get hold of. I don't know if you keep stock here. 589 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:31,100 Well... I do. 590 00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,500 You just tell me what you want and I can pack them up for you. 591 00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:34,633 It'll only take me a few minutes. 592 00:44:34,733 --> 00:44:37,300 Do you have the Bax Variations by Hatto? 593 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:38,700 Yes, I can let you have that. 594 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,500 Yeah, I've sold a surprising number of those. 595 00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:42,733 There are more Bax lovers in the world than I realised. 596 00:44:42,833 --> 00:44:45,400 I had never warmed to him but I read a couple of 597 00:44:45,500 --> 00:44:49,233 positive comments on Piano Fanatic about the Hatto recording. 598 00:44:49,333 --> 00:44:50,800 I'm sorry. Where was this? 599 00:44:50,900 --> 00:44:54,933 Online. I was intrigued to read these comments about Joyce Hatto 600 00:44:55,067 --> 00:44:57,833 because we were at the Royal Academy together. 601 00:44:57,933 --> 00:44:59,400 You were at the Academy with Joyce? 602 00:44:59,500 --> 00:45:01,567 Yes, I studied piano for a while there. 603 00:45:01,667 --> 00:45:04,667 Get away! Well, Joyce is here! 604 00:45:04,767 --> 00:45:06,533 Yeah, we live together here! 605 00:45:06,633 --> 00:45:07,967 Joyce is my wife. 606 00:45:08,067 --> 00:45:10,867 (STUTTERS) She'll be delighted. Come in, come in. 607 00:45:11,533 --> 00:45:13,700 Joyce! Joycey! 608 00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:15,533 Turn the monkeys off! 609 00:45:15,633 --> 00:45:17,933 (LAUGHS) And do you remember that ghastly audition 610 00:45:18,067 --> 00:45:19,600 for the blessed Cortot masterclass, 611 00:45:19,700 --> 00:45:21,600 and neither of us got it? 612 00:45:21,700 --> 00:45:25,867 Oh, and I was absolutely heartbroken, went off and sobbed in the ladies'. 613 00:45:25,967 --> 00:45:28,100 My mind sings so much. 614 00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:29,967 But you were not to be defeated, 615 00:45:30,067 --> 00:45:33,700 whereas I did not have the right sort of guts to make it as a soloist. 616 00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:38,433 Oh, Joyce has the guts but fate hasn't been entirely kind to her. 617 00:45:38,533 --> 00:45:40,533 Oh, it's just I have this silly, silly cancer 618 00:45:40,633 --> 00:45:43,333 which I'm absolutely not going to talk about, 619 00:45:43,433 --> 00:45:47,233 but obviously it's meant that I can't really perform much in public. 620 00:45:47,333 --> 00:45:51,767 So sorry. But you've been able to make recordings? 621 00:45:51,867 --> 00:45:54,467 -Yes. -Yes, well, we haven't let the grass grow. 622 00:45:54,567 --> 00:45:57,433 I don't think I saw more than a couple on the website. 623 00:45:57,533 --> 00:45:59,633 There was the Bax and the Gershwin. 624 00:45:59,733 --> 00:46:03,267 Well, I'm a little bit of a fledgling at this website malarkey 625 00:46:03,367 --> 00:46:06,900 but give me a couple of months and hopefully it'll be a different story. 626 00:46:07,067 --> 00:46:10,933 No, because several posts have asked, where you can buy more Hatto? 627 00:46:11,067 --> 00:46:12,433 "Have you heard Hatto?" 628 00:46:12,533 --> 00:46:14,467 -Oh. -"What else has she done?" 629 00:46:16,333 --> 00:46:17,500 (LAUGHS) 630 00:46:17,933 --> 00:46:18,933 (CLEARS THROAT) 631 00:46:21,367 --> 00:46:23,700 BARRIE: Oh, there you go. Got it. 632 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:27,633 "Wowee, Crotchetman was right. Hatto is awesome." 633 00:46:29,267 --> 00:46:30,967 What does that mean? 634 00:46:31,067 --> 00:46:32,733 And who the heck is Crotchetman? 635 00:46:32,833 --> 00:46:35,967 Well, maybe he's a bit further down here somewhere. 636 00:46:37,467 --> 00:46:39,200 Yes, look. 637 00:46:39,300 --> 00:46:43,767 "Thanks, HG, for posting Nocturne from Bax Symphonic Variations. 638 00:46:43,867 --> 00:46:48,600 "The CD arrived and it is awesome playing. Who is she?" 639 00:46:48,700 --> 00:46:51,400 (STUTTERS) What does it mean, "posting Nocturne"? 640 00:46:51,500 --> 00:46:53,167 Yeah, well, move out of the way a sec. 641 00:46:53,267 --> 00:46:55,800 It means that some bright spark on the other side of the world 642 00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:58,500 has put a little bit of Joyce Hatto on here. 643 00:46:59,100 --> 00:47:00,200 And if you... 644 00:47:01,133 --> 00:47:02,067 ...click it... 645 00:47:04,467 --> 00:47:06,533 (MUSIC PLAYS) 646 00:47:14,900 --> 00:47:16,167 Golly. 647 00:47:16,267 --> 00:47:18,100 You're on the world wide web, Ducky. 648 00:48:04,333 --> 00:48:05,933 Nice to hear you play. 649 00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,433 Hardly "playing." 650 00:48:09,533 --> 00:48:11,633 Who knew you had an international following? 651 00:48:12,433 --> 00:48:14,167 From one ancient CD! 652 00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:16,133 Yeah, well, leave 'em wanting more. 653 00:48:20,233 --> 00:48:21,500 What are you thinking, Ducky? 654 00:48:23,567 --> 00:48:24,933 Oh, the Academy. 655 00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,133 High hopes. 656 00:48:29,233 --> 00:48:31,267 Oh, we've done all right. 657 00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:33,067 We do pretty well for old codgers. 658 00:48:34,433 --> 00:48:36,433 Do you remember what you said to me, when we met? 659 00:48:38,733 --> 00:48:40,133 A lot of rubbish, no doubt. 660 00:48:40,233 --> 00:48:43,100 You said all I needed was someone in my corner to protect me, 661 00:48:44,433 --> 00:48:45,933 make it all happen for me. 662 00:48:49,367 --> 00:48:50,900 Sorry, have I remembered that incorrectly? 663 00:48:54,067 --> 00:48:56,800 Didn't I say I was worried, I didn't have the nerve for a solo career 664 00:48:56,900 --> 00:48:58,900 and you said you had enough nerve for both of us? 665 00:49:01,067 --> 00:49:04,333 I was a bloody idiot. I was young. 666 00:49:04,433 --> 00:49:07,500 Young people make promises because they don't know what life's like. 667 00:49:08,867 --> 00:49:11,600 What did you just say? "We'd done pretty well"? 668 00:49:13,967 --> 00:49:18,367 If you call teaching piano to dim-witted children while you run 669 00:49:18,467 --> 00:49:21,500 a potty, one-man record label in the spare bedroom 670 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,767 in a town that hasn't even got a concert hall... 671 00:49:26,967 --> 00:49:30,867 Then your standards are even more poverty-stricken than I imagined. 672 00:49:35,433 --> 00:49:36,867 Don't leave your cocoa too long. 673 00:49:46,933 --> 00:49:49,767 YOUNG JOYCE ON TAPE: Are we ready? Yes? 674 00:49:49,867 --> 00:49:51,700 YOUNG BARRIE ON TAPE: Hmm, I just need to wedge it... 675 00:49:52,133 --> 00:49:53,567 (CLATTERS) 676 00:49:54,933 --> 00:49:56,333 That should hold it. 677 00:49:56,433 --> 00:49:58,867 YOUNG JOYCE: Yes? Is it on? 678 00:49:58,967 --> 00:50:00,833 YOUNG BARRIE: Yes. Go. 679 00:50:03,433 --> 00:50:05,400 (PIANO PLAYING) 680 00:50:33,967 --> 00:50:34,967 (STOPS PLAYING) 681 00:51:17,433 --> 00:51:20,067 Joyce! Come and listen to something. 682 00:51:21,433 --> 00:51:22,600 Coming! 683 00:51:32,167 --> 00:51:33,400 (PIANO MUSIC) 684 00:51:56,667 --> 00:51:57,833 (MUSIC STOPS PLAYING) 685 00:51:59,067 --> 00:52:00,733 What do you think? 686 00:52:00,833 --> 00:52:02,733 It's about the tempo I used to play it. 687 00:52:02,833 --> 00:52:04,100 Yes, it is. 688 00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,367 Who is it? Please tell me it's someone English, 689 00:52:06,467 --> 00:52:08,867 I get so tired of those endless Koreans! 690 00:52:08,967 --> 00:52:11,100 -No. It's someone very English. -Good. 691 00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:12,467 She's called Joyce Hatto. 692 00:52:14,767 --> 00:52:15,767 No! 693 00:52:17,233 --> 00:52:20,667 Was that one of my tapes? Did you find the old tapes? 694 00:52:21,533 --> 00:52:23,700 Oh, it was jolly good quality. 695 00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:24,833 I thought you were up to something! 696 00:52:24,933 --> 00:52:27,133 Did you do some computer things to it? 697 00:52:27,233 --> 00:52:28,767 No, no. Well, I did try. 698 00:52:28,867 --> 00:52:30,267 I took them to the chap at Wheathampstead, 699 00:52:30,367 --> 00:52:32,633 and he had a go at cleaning them up but they're very old. 700 00:52:32,733 --> 00:52:35,067 And they're not top quality. I mean, they were only for fun. 701 00:52:35,767 --> 00:52:36,733 Oh, so... 702 00:52:36,833 --> 00:52:38,567 So, I was thinking about what we'd been saying 703 00:52:38,667 --> 00:52:40,067 about all those Internet chappies 704 00:52:40,133 --> 00:52:41,367 wanting a bit more Hatto, 705 00:52:41,467 --> 00:52:42,700 and there ain't no Hatto to give them. 706 00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,900 So, I took another recording, 707 00:52:45,067 --> 00:52:47,600 and I followed all the temping, the dynamics, 708 00:52:47,700 --> 00:52:49,500 and so on from your recording, 709 00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:51,833 and I sort of did a new version. 710 00:52:51,933 --> 00:52:54,567 What, you took another of my recordings? 711 00:52:54,667 --> 00:52:56,800 Well, no, because you didn't do any other recordings. 712 00:52:56,900 --> 00:52:58,800 I found one that was most like yours 713 00:52:58,900 --> 00:53:01,800 and I stuck to your score markings and I sort of... 714 00:53:02,433 --> 00:53:04,133 Hattoised it. 715 00:53:04,233 --> 00:53:06,533 So what you just played... 716 00:53:07,067 --> 00:53:08,400 ...it's not me? 717 00:53:08,500 --> 00:53:10,533 Well, in a musical sense it's you. 718 00:53:10,633 --> 00:53:12,367 Yes, but in any sense that anyone else 719 00:53:12,467 --> 00:53:13,967 would recognise it's not! 720 00:53:19,700 --> 00:53:22,400 You are quite astounding! 721 00:53:22,500 --> 00:53:23,833 Oh, get off your high horse. 722 00:53:26,333 --> 00:53:28,367 You can't play. 723 00:53:28,467 --> 00:53:32,067 You've got one brilliant recording out there and everyone's itching for more. 724 00:53:33,767 --> 00:53:36,067 And you like to read about yourself on the Internet. 725 00:53:38,167 --> 00:53:40,400 I just thought I'd do something that would cheer you up. 726 00:53:42,267 --> 00:53:44,533 All modern recordings are put together note by note. 727 00:53:44,633 --> 00:53:47,900 So, what I was doing, I didn't think was so bad, or so different. 728 00:53:50,700 --> 00:53:53,933 But, of course, in Joyce world, 729 00:53:54,067 --> 00:53:56,433 Barrie is always in the wrong, 730 00:53:56,533 --> 00:53:58,833 because he can't be as clever, 731 00:53:58,933 --> 00:54:00,600 or as right, or as good, 732 00:54:01,367 --> 00:54:02,967 or as wronged as Joyce. 733 00:54:05,100 --> 00:54:06,100 (DOOR OPENS) 734 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:08,200 (DOOR CLOSES) 735 00:54:47,100 --> 00:54:48,133 That's a big cake. 736 00:54:49,333 --> 00:54:51,067 Don't you know there's a war on? 737 00:54:51,167 --> 00:54:52,500 What can I get you? 738 00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:55,667 In here? Botulism, I should think. 739 00:54:55,767 --> 00:54:57,833 You know you're quite right about modern recordings. 740 00:54:57,933 --> 00:55:00,567 People today don't even have to play the right notes. 741 00:55:00,667 --> 00:55:02,800 I mean, technicians do all that afterwards, don't they? 742 00:55:02,900 --> 00:55:06,533 Take out the bishes, blend one note into another. 743 00:55:06,633 --> 00:55:09,133 Since we've gone digital, sky's the limit. 744 00:55:10,700 --> 00:55:12,767 Not like your day, Ducky, where you had to struggle, 745 00:55:12,867 --> 00:55:14,867 to get through it without a mistake. 746 00:55:16,067 --> 00:55:17,067 Ah, but there you are. 747 00:55:18,300 --> 00:55:20,400 Oh, go on. I'll try a tiny bit. 748 00:55:20,500 --> 00:55:21,667 Coffee and walnut. 749 00:55:22,900 --> 00:55:25,100 You know, it would be jolly nice to have a few more CDs 750 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,100 whizzing around the Internet... 751 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:31,133 But thanks to the old lurgy, I can't play like I used to, I haven't got the feeling. 752 00:55:31,233 --> 00:55:33,600 You can be as musical and interpretative as you like, 753 00:55:33,700 --> 00:55:37,700 but if you can't feel your finger ends you might as well be playing with mittens. 754 00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:40,400 As you say, there we are. 755 00:55:42,767 --> 00:55:46,267 Quite funny you should've made a recording and I thought it was me. 756 00:55:46,367 --> 00:55:47,933 Well, if you thought it was you, 757 00:55:48,067 --> 00:55:49,967 think how many other people would think it was you. 758 00:55:52,367 --> 00:55:56,067 You've got a very naughty twinkle in your eye, Mr Barrington-Coupe. 759 00:55:56,133 --> 00:55:57,800 Got to do something, Joyce. 760 00:55:59,767 --> 00:56:02,933 We're both near enough the bucket to kick it. 761 00:56:03,067 --> 00:56:07,167 Job. I could run a couple up the flagpole, see if anyone salutes. 762 00:56:07,267 --> 00:56:08,733 Keep Crotchetman happy? 763 00:56:09,567 --> 00:56:11,700 I'm rather fond of Crotchetman. 764 00:56:12,567 --> 00:56:13,833 You know, this isn't half bad, 765 00:56:13,933 --> 00:56:16,733 considering the place is so ghastly. 766 00:56:16,833 --> 00:56:19,800 Be one in the eye for those shirt-lifters on Radio 3. 767 00:56:21,333 --> 00:56:24,167 Why, what... You sent them to be reviewed? 768 00:56:24,267 --> 00:56:26,400 Yes. We've got nothing to lose. 769 00:56:27,233 --> 00:56:29,067 Joyce Hatto on the wireless... 770 00:56:30,067 --> 00:56:31,800 That would be rather satisfying. 771 00:56:36,367 --> 00:56:39,167 Would you, um... Would you like a latte? 772 00:56:40,367 --> 00:56:41,533 A latte? 773 00:56:43,933 --> 00:56:46,600 Yes, all right, Mr B-C. 774 00:56:46,700 --> 00:56:48,133 (LAUGHS) I'll have a latte. 775 00:56:50,933 --> 00:56:51,933 (INDISTINCT TALKING) 776 00:57:22,700 --> 00:57:23,967 (INDISTINCT TALKING ON TV) 777 00:57:28,533 --> 00:57:30,533 It's a great life if you don't weaken! 778 00:57:31,933 --> 00:57:34,700 It's my own fault for marrying a blooming concert pianist. 779 00:57:39,733 --> 00:57:43,300 Ducky, what say we get one of those posh cakes with the strawberries on? 780 00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:46,867 -Can we afford? -Can we afford? Have you seen the orders coming in? 781 00:57:46,967 --> 00:57:49,833 The website's buzzing. Hattomania! 782 00:57:49,933 --> 00:57:52,967 And you haven't had to lie on top of a flipping concert grand to do it. 783 00:57:53,067 --> 00:57:53,900 It's never too late. 784 00:57:54,067 --> 00:57:55,833 (LAUGHS) I could give you a bunk up. 785 00:58:09,700 --> 00:58:12,133 Did I hear your name on the radio this morning? 786 00:58:12,233 --> 00:58:14,067 Oh, probably. 787 00:58:14,100 --> 00:58:17,933 They're just reviewing one of Joyce's Chopin recordings on Building a Library. 788 00:58:18,067 --> 00:58:19,067 No biggie! 789 00:58:19,167 --> 00:58:20,267 What time will that be on? 790 00:58:20,367 --> 00:58:21,500 The programme starts at 10:00... 791 00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:25,200 I shan't be listening, I've really no interest. 792 00:58:25,300 --> 00:58:26,467 You're not going to listen? 793 00:58:27,767 --> 00:58:31,200 I don't believe in critics, it's the music that matters. 794 00:58:31,300 --> 00:58:33,633 Oh, I'd want to hear what they were saying about me. 795 00:58:33,733 --> 00:58:36,900 I'm not as high-minded as you! Toodle-oo! 796 00:58:39,300 --> 00:58:41,067 -What time is it? -Starts in 10 minutes. 797 00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:42,767 Shall we go in now? 798 00:58:45,833 --> 00:58:49,167 MAN ON RADIO: And although I loved the delicacy of the Ashkenazy, 799 00:58:49,267 --> 00:58:50,700 it didn't quite have the verve. 800 00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:54,167 And, well, just the sheer sparkle of the Hatto. 801 00:58:54,267 --> 00:58:57,133 In fact, I hope to be taking a look at more Hatto recordings 802 00:58:57,233 --> 00:58:58,533 on a future programme. 803 00:58:58,633 --> 00:59:01,300 This lady seems to be having something of a late flowering. 804 00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:03,733 Can one say that? Or should I say a renaissance. 805 00:59:03,833 --> 00:59:05,467 That's possibly more polite. 806 00:59:05,567 --> 00:59:08,367 Anyway, that's my choice for Building a Library. 807 00:59:08,467 --> 00:59:11,200 That's Joyce Hatto, Chopin Complete Etudes 808 00:59:11,300 --> 00:59:14,900 and that's on the Concert Artists label and... 809 00:59:15,067 --> 00:59:17,800 Sounds like you might have your own radio programme, Ducky. 810 00:59:17,900 --> 00:59:22,133 Hmm, hardly. But he seemed fairly intelligent. 811 00:59:22,233 --> 00:59:25,600 Well, this isn't going to buy the baby a new bonnet. 812 00:59:25,700 --> 00:59:26,967 I've got to pop to the printers, 813 00:59:27,067 --> 00:59:29,133 check the new cover for your Rach 3, 814 00:59:29,233 --> 00:59:32,100 because the one they faxed through was absolutely shocking. 815 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:35,267 -The things you have to keep an eye on. -And you love it. 816 00:59:35,367 --> 00:59:39,067 Orders coming in, parcels going out, fans all over the world, 817 00:59:39,133 --> 00:59:40,733 of course I love it! 818 00:59:40,833 --> 00:59:45,067 And because it's all for you, all for Joyce Hatto. 819 00:59:45,100 --> 00:59:47,733 Fan-dabby-dozy. 820 00:59:47,833 --> 00:59:50,067 Right. Oh, and I'll pick up the bird seed. 821 00:59:50,167 --> 00:59:52,600 Don't forget the horse pills, they should be in today. 822 00:59:52,700 --> 00:59:54,867 Roger Wilco, no peace for the wicked. 823 00:59:55,733 --> 00:59:56,733 Barrie? 824 00:59:58,767 --> 01:00:00,033 We're not wicked, are we? 825 01:00:02,300 --> 01:00:03,467 Get away! 826 01:00:07,367 --> 01:00:09,633 I'll tell you what's wicked. 827 01:00:09,733 --> 01:00:13,533 The fact that it took 40 years to get Joyce Hatto on to the BBC. 828 01:00:14,967 --> 01:00:15,967 That's wicked. 829 01:00:21,033 --> 01:00:22,133 Did you put the machine on? 830 01:00:22,233 --> 01:00:23,433 (DOOR CLOSES) 831 01:00:26,833 --> 01:00:27,867 (PHONE RINGING) 832 01:00:31,233 --> 01:00:32,967 Oh, Barrie, you never remember. 833 01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:42,300 Oh, uh, Concert Artists, can I help you? 834 01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:44,167 Uh, yes. My name is Philip Hill. 835 01:00:44,267 --> 01:00:46,733 I just wanted to speak to someone about one of your artists. 836 01:00:46,833 --> 01:00:50,333 I actually did the review of the Joyce Hatto Chopin this morning 837 01:00:50,433 --> 01:00:52,700 on Radio 3 on Building a Library 838 01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:55,233 and A, I wanted to order more Hatto discs, 839 01:00:55,333 --> 01:00:58,733 but also, I wondered whether you had any way of contacting her 840 01:00:58,833 --> 01:01:01,367 as I'd be very interested in talking to her for a piece 841 01:01:01,467 --> 01:01:02,800 I'm writing for Gramophone magazine. 842 01:01:02,900 --> 01:01:07,633 Oh. Well, you are actually speaking to her. 843 01:01:07,733 --> 01:01:11,833 One doesn't really expect a concert pianist to answer the phone. 844 01:01:11,933 --> 01:01:15,067 I don't know if you heard my review this morning? 845 01:01:15,100 --> 01:01:19,100 Uh, no. I was playing the piano, I'm afraid. I forgot to tune in. 846 01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:22,600 My husband says that I'm ridiculously non-publicity-minded, 847 01:01:22,700 --> 01:01:24,733 very behind the times in that way. 848 01:01:24,833 --> 01:01:26,933 I hope you were kind to me? 849 01:01:34,100 --> 01:01:35,567 (DOOR CLOSES) 850 01:01:35,667 --> 01:01:39,067 Ducky? Do I smell baking? 851 01:01:41,067 --> 01:01:43,433 Buns? This is a turn up. 852 01:01:43,533 --> 01:01:46,700 -I've had a gentleman caller. -Oh, yes? 853 01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:51,267 Well, telephonic caller, because you didn't put the answer phone on. 854 01:01:51,367 --> 01:01:52,633 Darn it. Sorry. 855 01:01:52,733 --> 01:01:55,067 When I picked up, who should it be but the gentleman 856 01:01:55,100 --> 01:01:57,333 who was so enamoured of the Hatto Chopin Etudes 857 01:01:57,433 --> 01:01:59,700 -on the wireless this morning. -Oh, Philip thingy. 858 01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:04,167 And he was very delighted to find that he was talking to the lady herself. 859 01:02:04,267 --> 01:02:07,200 -I bet he was. -And we had a very nice chat about Chopin, 860 01:02:07,300 --> 01:02:10,067 and the Liszt Transcendental Etudes, and Godowskys, 861 01:02:10,100 --> 01:02:12,967 and all sorts of things. And it rather lifted my spirits and I thought, 862 01:02:13,067 --> 01:02:16,233 we shall have buns. Buns is what we shall have. 863 01:02:16,333 --> 01:02:20,100 Jolly good. He phoned Concert Artists, did he? 864 01:02:21,133 --> 01:02:23,067 He's doing a piece for the Gramophone 865 01:02:23,133 --> 01:02:24,600 and he wants to talk to me. 866 01:02:26,767 --> 01:02:28,267 About what, though, Ducky? 867 01:02:28,367 --> 01:02:29,967 About my recording techniques. 868 01:02:32,733 --> 01:02:36,600 -Well, that's going to be a bit awkward, isn't it? -Why? 869 01:02:36,700 --> 01:02:38,933 You don't have a recording technique. 870 01:02:39,067 --> 01:02:42,500 No, but I can tell him how I play the pieces 871 01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:44,633 and how I tackle a new piece. 872 01:02:44,733 --> 01:02:46,467 Yes, I suppose so. But... 873 01:02:47,433 --> 01:02:50,067 Well, when he rings, Joyce, keep it vague. 874 01:02:50,167 --> 01:02:52,433 You can talk about how you feel about the music, 875 01:02:52,533 --> 01:02:53,900 but we don't want to get into the nuts and bolts 876 01:02:54,067 --> 01:02:55,467 of where we record the blessed things. 877 01:02:55,567 --> 01:02:58,900 He's not ringing. He's taking us out for lunch in Cambridge. 878 01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:01,167 Are you potty? 879 01:03:01,267 --> 01:03:02,533 No. I'm not potty. 880 01:03:03,833 --> 01:03:06,067 He's got a lot of my CDs. 881 01:03:06,133 --> 01:03:09,333 And in fact, he was calling to order some more, it's all on the pad. 882 01:03:09,433 --> 01:03:13,733 Joyce, selling online, getting reviews online, 883 01:03:13,833 --> 01:03:16,567 chaps talking about you on the radio, that's all fine. 884 01:03:16,667 --> 01:03:19,467 But you can't sit down with a journalist, face-to-face 885 01:03:19,567 --> 01:03:21,400 and talk about how we make these records. 886 01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:24,200 -Why? -Because we didn't make them. 887 01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:29,167 Think, sweetie. I mean, yes, they sound like you, but they're not you. 888 01:03:29,267 --> 01:03:33,067 -Joyce, trust me, this is a bad idea. -(JOYCE SCOFFS) 889 01:03:33,100 --> 01:03:36,233 Trust you? I remember trying that a long time ago, 890 01:03:36,333 --> 01:03:38,067 so, I'm very much once bitten there. 891 01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:41,100 Oh, don't worry, I'll call him back. 892 01:03:42,133 --> 01:03:43,067 (SIGHS) 893 01:03:43,100 --> 01:03:45,233 I'll explain that I'm not able to have 894 01:03:45,333 --> 01:03:48,667 a nice lunch with an intelligent, cultured music critic, 895 01:03:48,767 --> 01:03:54,100 because my husband has a very limited view of my capabilities 896 01:03:54,200 --> 01:03:56,900 and would rather I stayed at home with nothing else to think about 897 01:03:57,067 --> 01:03:58,700 but how long I've got to live! 898 01:04:01,900 --> 01:04:02,900 (CLATTERING) 899 01:04:12,500 --> 01:04:13,700 Not too mutton? 900 01:04:14,667 --> 01:04:15,833 Not mutton at all. 901 01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:18,400 There you go. 902 01:04:19,367 --> 01:04:20,567 Merci. 903 01:04:22,067 --> 01:04:23,433 -Hair? -Luxuriant. 904 01:04:23,533 --> 01:04:26,700 -Hmm. -I wasn't trying to spoil your fun, Ducky, 905 01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:28,767 putting the kibosh on meeting Philip. 906 01:04:28,867 --> 01:04:32,667 I just thought, we're safer flying under the radar. 907 01:04:32,767 --> 01:04:35,500 I just fancied flying a little higher. 908 01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:37,100 Fly too high, your wings fall off. 909 01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:40,733 My wings aren't going to last me much longer anyway, are they? 910 01:04:40,833 --> 01:04:43,567 Get your skates on, the train waits for no man. 911 01:04:44,300 --> 01:04:45,467 BOTH: Bags I forward. 912 01:04:46,333 --> 01:04:47,767 I said it first. 913 01:04:48,900 --> 01:04:50,800 Come on then, Mrs Barrington-Coupe, 914 01:04:50,900 --> 01:04:52,833 let's take Joyce Hatto out to lunch. 915 01:04:56,067 --> 01:04:57,900 PHILIP: Thank you. 916 01:04:58,067 --> 01:05:01,767 So, basically, Joyce, since you gave up live performance, 917 01:05:01,867 --> 01:05:03,400 you've just been working away, 918 01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:04,867 and then when you feel a piece is ready, 919 01:05:04,967 --> 01:05:06,333 you record it. 920 01:05:06,433 --> 01:05:09,833 So, what do you do? Just book a studio? 921 01:05:09,933 --> 01:05:11,967 Well, I leave all that to Barrie. 922 01:05:12,067 --> 01:05:13,967 I say my job is to make the bread 923 01:05:14,067 --> 01:05:16,233 and Barrie has to put it in the oven. 924 01:05:16,333 --> 01:05:18,200 Yes, Joyce always says working on a piece 925 01:05:18,300 --> 01:05:21,100 is like making a loaf of bread. You know, first you have to work it... 926 01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:25,800 Yes, you work it, and you knead it, and then you leave it to rise. 927 01:05:25,900 --> 01:05:27,633 You have to let it become what it wants to be. 928 01:05:27,733 --> 01:05:29,467 Yeah, and once it's recorded, 929 01:05:29,567 --> 01:05:30,667 Joyce never listens to it again. 930 01:05:30,767 --> 01:05:32,567 -Really? -BARRIE: Not interested. 931 01:05:32,667 --> 01:05:36,133 No, not interested. I don't do retakes or whatever they're called. 932 01:05:36,233 --> 01:05:37,567 I record it, I go home 933 01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:39,500 and what people want to make of it is up to them. 934 01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:40,667 It's none of my business. 935 01:05:40,767 --> 01:05:42,933 So, not much editing time, then, Barrie? 936 01:05:43,067 --> 01:05:46,167 Yes, as far as recording goes, Joyce is a very cheap date. 937 01:05:46,267 --> 01:05:48,600 (GIGGLING) 938 01:05:48,700 --> 01:05:54,067 When Barrie and I met, I was giving a concert at the Strathmore 939 01:05:54,100 --> 01:05:55,800 and he was a little bit bowled over, weren't you? 940 01:05:55,900 --> 01:05:58,067 -(LAUGHS) -And he took me for a cup of tea and he said, 941 01:05:58,100 --> 01:05:59,433 "Would you like a cup or a mug?" 942 01:05:59,533 --> 01:06:01,867 Well, I was desperate for a mug but I thought it wasn't very ladylike, 943 01:06:01,967 --> 01:06:03,900 -so I'll have a cup, thank you very much. -A cup was threepence. 944 01:06:04,067 --> 01:06:05,400 -And a mug was five pence. -(GIGGLES) 945 01:06:05,500 --> 01:06:08,167 So that made me a cheap date in Barrie's eyes. 946 01:06:08,267 --> 01:06:09,667 (ALL LAUGHING) 947 01:06:11,267 --> 01:06:12,667 Tired, sweetie? 948 01:06:12,767 --> 01:06:15,167 Do you know, I'm absolutely not. 949 01:06:15,267 --> 01:06:18,633 Wasn't it lovely talking about music to someone who knew about it? 950 01:06:20,733 --> 01:06:23,400 While you were in the ladies', he said he was going to email me 951 01:06:23,500 --> 01:06:25,600 to get some facts straight. 952 01:06:25,700 --> 01:06:27,733 We can cobble something together. 953 01:06:27,833 --> 01:06:30,100 At least on the email you've got thinking time. 954 01:06:31,500 --> 01:06:33,133 I thought we did very well with our ducking 955 01:06:33,233 --> 01:06:34,567 and diving over lunch. 956 01:06:34,667 --> 01:06:36,233 Oh, and while you were in the gents', 957 01:06:36,333 --> 01:06:38,733 I told him I was working on the Godowskys. 958 01:06:38,833 --> 01:06:40,900 You didn't say you were bringing them out? 959 01:06:41,067 --> 01:06:42,633 I think I may have done. 960 01:06:42,733 --> 01:06:44,067 You don't make life easy, Ducky. 961 01:06:44,167 --> 01:06:46,667 You know, there are only about three versions to choose from. 962 01:06:49,567 --> 01:06:51,233 Did you set the video for Monkey World? 963 01:06:51,333 --> 01:06:52,333 I did. 964 01:06:52,433 --> 01:06:53,967 End of a perfect day. 965 01:06:57,800 --> 01:07:00,067 PHILIP: Where do you usually do these recordings? 966 01:07:00,167 --> 01:07:02,067 BARRIE: Well, you use a studio one year 967 01:07:02,100 --> 01:07:03,767 and the next it's a blooming coffee shop. 968 01:07:03,867 --> 01:07:05,300 JOYCE: Or one of those tanning places. 969 01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:07,633 We have one of those down the road, don't we, Barrie? 970 01:07:07,733 --> 01:07:09,567 And if you can believe this, you have to stand up. 971 01:07:09,667 --> 01:07:12,333 -I mean, it's umpetty pounds and you can't even lie down. -(PHONE RINGS) 972 01:07:12,433 --> 01:07:14,167 (JOYCE LAUGHS) 973 01:07:14,267 --> 01:07:15,767 -Larry. -LARRY: How are you? 974 01:07:15,867 --> 01:07:19,667 I'm good. I'm doing a big piece on this woman, Joyce Hatto. 975 01:07:19,767 --> 01:07:23,233 Yeah, I'm just reading about her, I might do a piece myself. 976 01:07:23,333 --> 01:07:26,800 Yes, well, you know, the Gramophone found her first. 977 01:07:26,900 --> 01:07:29,200 Is she for real? It's a heck of an output. 978 01:07:29,300 --> 01:07:32,733 No, I know, she does everything. Bach, Messiaen, Gershwin... 979 01:07:32,833 --> 01:07:34,067 It's remarkable. 980 01:07:34,100 --> 01:07:36,600 It's like listening to about eight different pianists. 981 01:07:36,700 --> 01:07:39,800 Her illness has brought a depth and gravitas to her playing. 982 01:07:41,233 --> 01:07:44,700 Someone here thinks she's more than one person. 983 01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:48,367 Is she? More than one person? 984 01:07:48,467 --> 01:07:49,767 People are so bloody cynical. 985 01:07:49,867 --> 01:07:52,633 She's old, she's ill and she's good. End of story. 986 01:07:52,733 --> 01:07:55,133 I've got to go, Larry, I'll ring you back. 987 01:07:55,767 --> 01:07:56,767 Joyce Hatto? 988 01:07:57,833 --> 01:08:00,067 Yes, I need to talk to her again. 989 01:08:00,133 --> 01:08:03,067 I've had a call from someone who knew her husband years ago. 990 01:08:03,133 --> 01:08:04,633 Really? 991 01:08:04,733 --> 01:08:08,367 Well, he just said the husband doesn't have the most blameless career path. 992 01:08:08,467 --> 01:08:11,233 Well, he's a harmless old beggar now. I mean, I've met him. 993 01:08:11,333 --> 01:08:13,633 Well, this person, someone we both know, 994 01:08:13,733 --> 01:08:15,967 said he heard Joyce Hatto play in the '60s sometime. 995 01:08:16,067 --> 01:08:17,633 I think at the Festival Hall. 996 01:08:17,733 --> 01:08:19,600 And she did fistfuls of wrong notes 997 01:08:19,700 --> 01:08:21,900 and then practically conked out at the keyboard. 998 01:08:22,067 --> 01:08:25,433 Well, I don't see what that's got to do with her recording career. 999 01:08:25,533 --> 01:08:29,200 No, but do check all the facts, won't you? 1000 01:08:29,300 --> 01:08:31,100 -Of course. -Now I know you will. 1001 01:08:31,200 --> 01:08:35,167 I mean, 40 years down the line, she's obviously improved. 1002 01:08:35,267 --> 01:08:36,400 Yes. 1003 01:08:36,500 --> 01:08:37,900 Hope for us all. 1004 01:08:40,300 --> 01:08:42,533 BARRIE: Aha! Hot-air balloon. 1005 01:08:44,900 --> 01:08:47,667 You don't want to drop the piece in the Gramophone, do you? 1006 01:08:47,767 --> 01:08:49,700 It seems to have turned into quite a big thing. 1007 01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:53,333 No. I think Mr Hill's going to make a jolly good fist of it. 1008 01:08:53,433 --> 01:08:56,500 Bah, I thought that was bulrushes, and it ain't. 1009 01:08:56,600 --> 01:08:58,233 It could be reflected bulrushes. 1010 01:08:58,333 --> 01:09:00,333 Oh, he's not as dumb as he looks. 1011 01:09:00,433 --> 01:09:03,067 Why are you saying drop it? 1012 01:09:03,133 --> 01:09:05,900 There was an answer phone message from Philip. Fact checking. 1013 01:09:06,067 --> 01:09:09,067 Said he couldn't find anything on Rene Kohler, your esteemed conductor. 1014 01:09:09,167 --> 01:09:11,833 (GIGGLES) Not surprising, seeing as he doesn't exist. 1015 01:09:11,933 --> 01:09:14,267 I don't really want to call him about it as he will, no doubt, 1016 01:09:14,367 --> 01:09:16,067 have many more awkward questions. 1017 01:09:16,100 --> 01:09:18,800 Oh! Got the top of the lupin. 1018 01:09:18,900 --> 01:09:21,667 I could pop a little biog on the Internet, I suppose. 1019 01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:25,767 Poor Rene, obviously a foreigner. 1020 01:09:25,867 --> 01:09:28,967 So, just fit in there, thank you. 1021 01:09:29,067 --> 01:09:32,667 I think he may have trained in Dresden. 1022 01:09:32,767 --> 01:09:35,133 Somewhere sadly flattened by bombs. 1023 01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:51,633 (BEEPING) 1024 01:10:14,167 --> 01:10:15,533 (DIALLING) 1025 01:10:21,867 --> 01:10:24,167 Philip, it's Larry. Can you call me back? 1026 01:10:25,700 --> 01:10:27,900 Some more Joyce Hatto weirdness. 1027 01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:32,333 PHILIP: And how is Joyce? 1028 01:10:32,433 --> 01:10:35,233 Well, yeah, cancer isn't a barrel of laughs, as you know. 1029 01:10:35,333 --> 01:10:37,333 We're keeping our peckers up pretty well. 1030 01:10:37,433 --> 01:10:38,967 Having something to look forward to, 1031 01:10:39,067 --> 01:10:41,900 like your piece in the Gramophone. 1032 01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:44,367 That's as good as buns to Joyce, that is. 1033 01:10:44,467 --> 01:10:47,000 Right. Now, we have a slight problem. 1034 01:10:47,100 --> 01:10:48,800 I believe the Gramophone still hasn't received 1035 01:10:48,900 --> 01:10:50,733 the information they've asked you for. 1036 01:10:50,833 --> 01:10:52,100 That's very odd. 1037 01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:55,667 That was all sent in the post many moons ago. I'll track it down. 1038 01:10:55,767 --> 01:10:57,567 Although, it will involve talking to someone 1039 01:10:57,667 --> 01:10:59,567 in Bangalore with a slim grasp of the language. 1040 01:10:59,667 --> 01:11:01,500 -(LAUGHS) -But no, there's something else, Barrie. 1041 01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:03,500 A friend of mine in New York, you see, 1042 01:11:03,600 --> 01:11:06,100 he ordered Joyce's Transcendental Etudes. 1043 01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:07,700 Now he put it into iTunes, 1044 01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:10,567 the database recognised it as the Etudes, 1045 01:11:10,667 --> 01:11:12,700 but, well, it came up with a different name. 1046 01:11:12,800 --> 01:11:16,100 Well, that doesn't surprise me. We've had Joyce Natto, Hitto... 1047 01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:20,833 No, no, no, it came up with the name of another pianist, Laszlo Simon. 1048 01:11:20,933 --> 01:11:22,867 Well, there's no logic with these computers. 1049 01:11:22,967 --> 01:11:26,633 Look, Barrie, people are asking questions about Joyce's output, 1050 01:11:26,733 --> 01:11:28,933 questioning the names of the orchestras. 1051 01:11:29,067 --> 01:11:32,133 -Now, you've seen all the online traffic, I know... -Philip... 1052 01:11:32,233 --> 01:11:35,500 I beg you, do not say anything of this to Joyce. 1053 01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:37,700 And I can't discuss it now. 1054 01:11:37,800 --> 01:11:40,133 But I need every little bit of spirit that I can muster 1055 01:11:40,233 --> 01:11:44,533 to go in there and be the person I need to be for my darling wife. 1056 01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:47,833 I won't have her for long, Philip. 1057 01:11:47,933 --> 01:11:50,100 So I want us to go in there, both of us, 1058 01:11:50,200 --> 01:11:51,467 with big smiles on our faces, 1059 01:11:51,567 --> 01:11:54,067 because Joyce is very sensitive. 1060 01:11:54,567 --> 01:11:56,267 Your championing of her 1061 01:11:56,367 --> 01:11:58,433 and the prospect of the piece in the Gramophone 1062 01:11:58,533 --> 01:12:01,600 are literally what's keeping her going right now. 1063 01:12:01,700 --> 01:12:03,667 Can we carry on this conversation later? 1064 01:12:03,767 --> 01:12:05,633 Oh, yes. We must, we must. 1065 01:12:05,733 --> 01:12:09,100 This Laszlo Simon snafu, I'm as baffled as you are 1066 01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:11,933 and I certainly don't want him getting all of Joyce's royalties. 1067 01:12:12,067 --> 01:12:13,100 (LAUGHS) 1068 01:12:18,500 --> 01:12:20,067 Barrie was very good-looking. 1069 01:12:21,233 --> 01:12:26,767 Yes, and not quite as confident as he looks there. 1070 01:12:26,867 --> 01:12:28,167 Really? 1071 01:12:28,267 --> 01:12:31,700 He had a certain air which was misleading, as it turned out. 1072 01:12:34,333 --> 01:12:36,067 We were both vulnerable, I suppose. 1073 01:12:38,633 --> 01:12:40,567 Vulnerable people can protect each other. 1074 01:12:41,067 --> 01:12:42,933 Oh, they can. 1075 01:12:43,067 --> 01:12:44,967 Or they can double their weaknesses. 1076 01:12:45,067 --> 01:12:47,967 But that's the gamble in a marriage, isn't it? 1077 01:12:49,833 --> 01:12:53,067 Now, do have some of Barrie's Swiss roll, baked in your honour, 1078 01:12:53,133 --> 01:12:56,300 and you can use any of the photos you like for your piece. 1079 01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:57,833 PHILIP: Oh, thank you. 1080 01:12:59,767 --> 01:13:03,067 Could I just ask you about your recording 1081 01:13:03,100 --> 01:13:04,667 of the Transcendental Etudes? 1082 01:13:06,500 --> 01:13:07,700 Of course. 1083 01:13:08,400 --> 01:13:09,900 Where did you record them? 1084 01:13:15,067 --> 01:13:16,067 Well... 1085 01:13:18,333 --> 01:13:20,767 We did them in a tiny studio in Cambridge 1086 01:13:20,867 --> 01:13:24,400 and I was very tired when I went in to play them. 1087 01:13:25,100 --> 01:13:26,733 But if you've done the work, 1088 01:13:26,833 --> 01:13:28,433 then somehow... 1089 01:13:29,500 --> 01:13:33,467 The music can take over and it did take over. 1090 01:13:33,567 --> 01:13:36,200 I almost didn't need to do anything. 1091 01:13:38,167 --> 01:13:42,167 And when I finished playing the last piece... 1092 01:13:45,067 --> 01:13:46,067 There was just... 1093 01:13:49,067 --> 01:13:50,067 Silence. 1094 01:13:53,300 --> 01:13:57,167 And all the technical people on the other side of the glass... 1095 01:14:00,267 --> 01:14:01,267 Just... 1096 01:14:02,667 --> 01:14:03,700 Still. 1097 01:14:09,867 --> 01:14:10,867 Hmm. 1098 01:14:12,367 --> 01:14:16,833 Now, I have a little parting gift for you. 1099 01:14:16,933 --> 01:14:20,067 I don't imagine we'll be meeting again, 1100 01:14:20,133 --> 01:14:23,500 if I can contradict dear old Vera Lynn. 1101 01:14:33,500 --> 01:14:36,800 Ah! Never gave you my famous marmalade. 1102 01:14:36,900 --> 01:14:40,100 Ah, that's fine. I... I had my present from Joyce. 1103 01:14:40,200 --> 01:14:41,233 What was that? 1104 01:14:41,333 --> 01:14:43,500 She gave me a test copy of the Godowsky. 1105 01:14:44,333 --> 01:14:45,667 Did she? 1106 01:14:45,767 --> 01:14:48,067 I hadn't realised she'd been well enough to record them. 1107 01:14:48,133 --> 01:14:49,700 Look, it's not one of her best. 1108 01:14:49,800 --> 01:14:52,867 Well, she hasn't heard it, of course, but it's not one of the finest. 1109 01:14:52,967 --> 01:14:54,067 I won't release it. 1110 01:14:55,333 --> 01:14:58,733 As a courtesy to me, Philip, don't play it. 1111 01:15:00,133 --> 01:15:02,167 Look, Barrie, the editor of the Gramophone 1112 01:15:02,267 --> 01:15:05,800 wants to get the Hatto Etudes compared with the Laszlo Simon. 1113 01:15:05,900 --> 01:15:08,700 A proper digital comparison by an independent source. 1114 01:15:10,067 --> 01:15:11,833 Now, can you tell me if you think that will show up 1115 01:15:11,933 --> 01:15:14,900 any problem as far as Joyce's recording is concerned? 1116 01:15:15,067 --> 01:15:17,633 -No, I'm sure it won't. -So I can tell him to go ahead. 1117 01:15:17,733 --> 01:15:19,467 You fully accept the consequences? 1118 01:15:19,567 --> 01:15:23,933 Absolutely. I'm pretty tired of all this carping. 1119 01:15:24,067 --> 01:15:27,533 I see all this bumf the classical music buffs put on the Internet. 1120 01:15:27,633 --> 01:15:31,233 (CHUCKLES) Well, if they think an F sharp that Joyce played last Wednesday 1121 01:15:31,333 --> 01:15:34,933 sounds like a B flat Martha Argerich played 20 years ago, 1122 01:15:35,067 --> 01:15:36,267 then quite frankly, (LAUGHS) 1123 01:15:36,367 --> 01:15:38,867 to use an expression Joyce hates, which I rather like, 1124 01:15:39,567 --> 01:15:40,900 they need to get a life. 1125 01:15:41,067 --> 01:15:42,400 (LAUGHS) 1126 01:15:54,633 --> 01:15:57,500 Now, this isn't just chocolate. 1127 01:15:57,600 --> 01:15:59,767 This is Belgian chocolate. 1128 01:15:59,867 --> 01:16:01,100 Mmm, lovely. 1129 01:16:03,067 --> 01:16:05,367 Philip get off all right? 1130 01:16:05,467 --> 01:16:07,167 He said you gave him the Godowsky. 1131 01:16:08,233 --> 01:16:09,433 Yes. 1132 01:16:10,067 --> 01:16:11,767 Was I a naughty Hatto? 1133 01:16:11,867 --> 01:16:12,900 No harm done. 1134 01:16:15,800 --> 01:16:19,167 I forgot to ask him when the piece was coming out. 1135 01:16:19,267 --> 01:16:20,467 It's coming out quite soon. 1136 01:16:22,900 --> 01:16:25,633 There hasn't been any more stuff on the Internet? 1137 01:16:27,067 --> 01:16:29,233 I thought Philip seemed a little distant. 1138 01:16:29,333 --> 01:16:30,933 No. That's all died down. 1139 01:16:32,067 --> 01:16:33,067 Eat up, Ducky. 1140 01:16:34,500 --> 01:16:36,633 It wasn't so wrong to do, was it? 1141 01:16:37,267 --> 01:16:38,533 No. 1142 01:16:38,633 --> 01:16:39,633 If things had been different, 1143 01:16:39,733 --> 01:16:41,400 you'd have been selling them all along. 1144 01:16:42,367 --> 01:16:44,100 Because I could play, couldn't I? 1145 01:16:44,200 --> 01:16:45,800 Oh, I'll say. 1146 01:16:45,900 --> 01:16:46,933 I knew that from the day you had them 1147 01:16:47,067 --> 01:16:49,100 standing in the aisles at the Strathmore. 1148 01:16:50,833 --> 01:16:53,133 Typical Barrie exaggeration. 1149 01:16:55,100 --> 01:16:58,367 Just you and Miss Guisely. 1150 01:16:58,467 --> 01:17:00,233 Enhancement. 1151 01:17:00,333 --> 01:17:01,667 Like the recordings. 1152 01:17:02,567 --> 01:17:04,567 No harm done. 1153 01:17:04,667 --> 01:17:08,633 Hertfordshire's Bonnie and Clyde. 1154 01:17:08,733 --> 01:17:10,767 We shan't die in a hail of bullets, hopefully. 1155 01:17:15,500 --> 01:17:16,967 You'll manage, will you? 1156 01:17:24,367 --> 01:17:25,767 Looking forward to it, Ducky. 1157 01:17:26,967 --> 01:17:29,100 Fill the place with dancing girls. 1158 01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:30,867 Hmm. 1159 01:17:32,433 --> 01:17:33,600 You sure? 1160 01:17:35,300 --> 01:17:36,500 Go on. 1161 01:17:37,900 --> 01:17:39,067 Shame to waste it. 1162 01:17:40,400 --> 01:17:42,100 Don't you know there's a war on? 1163 01:17:42,867 --> 01:17:44,067 (CHUCKLING) 1164 01:17:56,833 --> 01:17:58,633 WOMAN ON TV: And in a change to our advertised programme, 1165 01:17:58,733 --> 01:18:02,400 there will now be a tribute to the acclaimed pianist, Joyce Hatto, 1166 01:18:02,500 --> 01:18:04,333 whose death was announced yesterday. 1167 01:18:04,433 --> 01:18:07,967 Joyce Hatto had renaissance in the last few years of her life. 1168 01:18:08,067 --> 01:18:11,133 When unable to perform in concert because of illness, 1169 01:18:11,233 --> 01:18:13,267 she concentrated on recording. 1170 01:18:13,367 --> 01:18:15,167 Many tributes have been paid... 1171 01:18:47,067 --> 01:18:48,167 Got away with it, Ducky. 1172 01:18:51,433 --> 01:18:53,067 JAMES: The top one's the Laszlo Simon 1173 01:18:53,133 --> 01:18:54,600 and the bottom one's Hatto. 1174 01:18:54,700 --> 01:18:56,133 They're identical. 1175 01:18:56,233 --> 01:18:58,800 And that can't happen unless one's been copied from the other. 1176 01:18:59,900 --> 01:19:02,667 Now, here's the Rachmaninov second and third. 1177 01:19:02,767 --> 01:19:05,400 That's Joyce on the top and that's Yefim Bronfman on the bottom. 1178 01:19:05,500 --> 01:19:08,967 They're slightly different because they've taken his and speeded it up 1179 01:19:09,067 --> 01:19:10,633 and then pitch corrected. 1180 01:19:10,733 --> 01:19:12,467 So you'll go ahead with the story? 1181 01:19:12,567 --> 01:19:14,167 We need to find one more fake 1182 01:19:14,267 --> 01:19:15,700 to put me in the clear legally. 1183 01:19:17,067 --> 01:19:20,200 Look, he... He might just talk to me. 1184 01:19:20,300 --> 01:19:23,367 Sure. I mean, it's sad, isn't it? 1185 01:19:23,467 --> 01:19:25,500 I'm not trying to crush the poor old bugger. 1186 01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:28,200 If he tells us the truth, I'll print it and if he doesn't, 1187 01:19:29,067 --> 01:19:30,200 he's had it. 1188 01:19:30,300 --> 01:19:32,900 I'm sorry the Gramophone has got its knickers in a twist, 1189 01:19:33,067 --> 01:19:36,067 but from our end, there is no story. 1190 01:19:36,100 --> 01:19:39,733 (SIGHS) It's Joyce on the box and it's Joyce on the recording. 1191 01:19:39,833 --> 01:19:42,933 So, the two they've found are sheer coincidence? 1192 01:19:43,067 --> 01:19:44,767 -All the others are genuine? -Absolutely. 1193 01:19:44,867 --> 01:19:47,500 -What about the Godowsky? -We didn't release the Godowsky. 1194 01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:50,500 I told you, Joyce wasn't up to scratch on it. 1195 01:19:50,600 --> 01:19:53,533 JAMES: The Godowsky was clever because it was nicked from three pianists 1196 01:19:53,633 --> 01:19:55,433 and it was speeded up. 1197 01:19:55,533 --> 01:19:57,167 So, you could've played it to Marc-Andre Hamelin 1198 01:19:57,267 --> 01:20:00,233 and he wouldn't have had a clue he was listening to himself. 1199 01:20:00,333 --> 01:20:01,867 I mean, it was brilliant, really. 1200 01:20:03,800 --> 01:20:06,133 Right, that's going online. 1201 01:20:07,567 --> 01:20:09,800 And once the red tops get hold of it... 1202 01:20:10,900 --> 01:20:12,600 Heaven help Barrie. 1203 01:20:12,700 --> 01:20:14,533 MAN ON TV: So far the husband of Joyce Hatto 1204 01:20:14,633 --> 01:20:17,500 is not, as far as I know, coming forward with his side of the story. 1205 01:20:17,600 --> 01:20:21,300 But if it does turn out that some or all of Joyce Hatto's recordings 1206 01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:24,800 are from other sources, that really will be very sad indeed. 1207 01:20:27,800 --> 01:20:28,867 Mr Coupe. 1208 01:20:29,500 --> 01:20:30,733 Mr Coupe. 1209 01:20:31,967 --> 01:20:35,233 Look, this is vile. 1210 01:20:35,333 --> 01:20:38,400 My father-in-law had cancer. It makes people absolutely desperate. 1211 01:20:41,767 --> 01:20:45,233 That's what we'll pay for an exclusive. Just call me. 1212 01:20:45,333 --> 01:20:46,833 Then you can get rid of this lot. 1213 01:20:48,167 --> 01:20:52,033 It's desperately sad, and we want people to see your side. 1214 01:20:52,133 --> 01:20:53,700 Nobody will think the worse of you. 1215 01:20:56,100 --> 01:20:57,167 Mr Coupe? 1216 01:21:06,233 --> 01:21:09,167 You dumb cluck, we're cooking for one, aren't we? 1217 01:21:18,233 --> 01:21:20,967 Well, we could have predicted it ending like this, couldn't we? 1218 01:21:21,067 --> 01:21:22,767 Typical Barriean muddle. 1219 01:21:22,867 --> 01:21:25,633 I'm trying to think if anything you ever did came right. 1220 01:21:25,733 --> 01:21:27,833 No answer came then, none. 1221 01:21:27,933 --> 01:21:29,967 I hope you're not going to say I had anything to do with this. 1222 01:21:30,067 --> 01:21:33,833 No, we can't have Joyce's name dragged through the mud, can we? 1223 01:21:33,933 --> 01:21:35,133 No, that's right. 1224 01:21:35,233 --> 01:21:37,300 Because what you have to remember is that all the things 1225 01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:39,300 that happened to me were your fault. 1226 01:21:39,400 --> 01:21:42,067 Because nothing is ever Joyce's fault, is it? 1227 01:21:42,900 --> 01:21:43,867 No. 1228 01:21:43,967 --> 01:21:46,133 Joyce mucks up her audition for the BBC. 1229 01:21:46,233 --> 01:21:48,600 Is that Joyce's fault? No, that was Barrie's fault. 1230 01:21:48,700 --> 01:21:51,100 He made her nervous. He was too jolly, 1231 01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:54,833 or he was too encouraging or he wasn't encouraging enough. 1232 01:21:54,933 --> 01:21:57,567 Joyce has a miscarriage, not usually anyone's fault 1233 01:21:57,667 --> 01:21:59,900 but in this case, it was Barrie's fault. 1234 01:22:00,067 --> 01:22:02,500 Oh, and then, of course, Barrie went to prison. 1235 01:22:02,600 --> 01:22:04,600 (GASPS) Did he murder someone? 1236 01:22:04,700 --> 01:22:07,200 Did he hit an old lady on the head with a brick? 1237 01:22:07,300 --> 01:22:10,900 No, he just messed up on his purchase tax returns, 1238 01:22:11,067 --> 01:22:14,700 trying to earn a living so that Joyce could stay in the house 1239 01:22:14,800 --> 01:22:17,467 and Joyce could carry on playing the piano, 1240 01:22:17,567 --> 01:22:21,333 which, by the way, wasn't anything anyone wanted to pay money to hear. 1241 01:22:21,433 --> 01:22:23,233 You said you'd make me famous. 1242 01:22:23,333 --> 01:22:24,800 Well, I was stupid, then, wasn't I? 1243 01:22:24,900 --> 01:22:26,367 'Cause I tell you what, when I first walked 1244 01:22:26,467 --> 01:22:27,900 into the Strathmore and heard you play, 1245 01:22:28,067 --> 01:22:30,100 I was quite a happy chap. I was nothing special, 1246 01:22:30,200 --> 01:22:33,667 mucking about at the publishers', joking with the girls in the office, 1247 01:22:33,767 --> 01:22:35,533 but I tell you what, I was doing okay. 1248 01:22:35,633 --> 01:22:37,700 -You loved me. -Yes, I did. 1249 01:22:37,800 --> 01:22:39,733 But living with a disappointed person is hard. 1250 01:22:39,833 --> 01:22:42,167 It drains the flippin' life out of you. 1251 01:22:42,267 --> 01:22:44,533 Maybe it was a daft scheme putting out those recordings 1252 01:22:44,633 --> 01:22:48,067 but I thought it might cheer you up. Simple as that. 1253 01:22:48,100 --> 01:22:52,067 So, what are you going to tell your sympathetic lady journalist? 1254 01:22:52,133 --> 01:22:53,233 I could just tell her the truth. 1255 01:22:53,333 --> 01:22:55,267 Oh, golly. That would be a novelty. 1256 01:22:55,367 --> 01:22:57,233 BARRIE: That you hadn't recorded in years. 1257 01:22:57,333 --> 01:22:59,067 That you were too ill to play. 1258 01:22:59,133 --> 01:23:01,133 That every interview you gave was a lie. 1259 01:23:01,233 --> 01:23:04,467 That would make my obituaries pretty meaningless, wouldn't it? 1260 01:23:07,400 --> 01:23:09,333 You went down with the Titanic, Joyce. 1261 01:23:09,433 --> 01:23:11,633 I'm the poor sod clinging to a deck chair. 1262 01:23:11,733 --> 01:23:13,467 It's every man for himself. 1263 01:24:02,067 --> 01:24:03,500 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1264 01:24:13,567 --> 01:24:15,900 We're Birdy and Pilks. 1265 01:24:16,467 --> 01:24:17,767 We were at the funeral. 1266 01:24:29,067 --> 01:24:31,267 We've seen the news about the recordings 1267 01:24:31,367 --> 01:24:33,433 and we've been so upset, haven't we, Pilks? 1268 01:24:33,533 --> 01:24:37,067 Because we loved her and we just can't see how it can have happened. 1269 01:24:37,167 --> 01:24:40,067 -You've come to get the full story, is that it? -Well, not... 1270 01:24:40,167 --> 01:24:41,900 Well, I'll be giving my story to the Daily Mail, 1271 01:24:42,067 --> 01:24:43,433 you can read it in there. That do you? 1272 01:24:43,533 --> 01:24:46,767 Oh, dear. We haven't just come poking around. 1273 01:24:46,867 --> 01:24:49,067 Pilks said we shouldn't just turn up 1274 01:24:49,133 --> 01:24:52,333 but no one was answering the phone and your website's shut down. 1275 01:24:52,433 --> 01:24:56,200 Well, I can tell you what I'm going to tell the Daily Mail, if you like. 1276 01:24:56,300 --> 01:24:58,967 -But you're not going to like it. -Give Barrie the... 1277 01:24:59,067 --> 01:25:01,167 God, I'll forget my head next. 1278 01:25:01,267 --> 01:25:04,667 I was having a clear-out and this was in a cupboard. 1279 01:25:05,500 --> 01:25:06,733 Do you remember? 1280 01:25:07,567 --> 01:25:08,833 I should say. 1281 01:25:10,267 --> 01:25:12,433 They're what landed me in the Old Bailey. 1282 01:25:13,567 --> 01:25:14,800 Look, girls, I... 1283 01:25:14,900 --> 01:25:17,067 (LAUGHING) Girls. 1284 01:25:17,133 --> 01:25:18,700 Well, you're girls to me. 1285 01:25:20,200 --> 01:25:21,467 Shall we sit down? 1286 01:25:41,567 --> 01:25:43,600 You're going to read it in the paper anyway 1287 01:25:43,700 --> 01:25:45,633 so you might as well hear it now. 1288 01:25:47,067 --> 01:25:48,067 (CHUCKLES) 1289 01:25:53,833 --> 01:25:59,833 Your Miss Hatto and my Joyce were perhaps not quite the same person. 1290 01:26:00,067 --> 01:26:02,867 -(DICTAPHONE HUMS) -Oh, my God! It still works. 1291 01:26:02,967 --> 01:26:05,833 Oh, yes. That's why we brought it. 1292 01:26:05,933 --> 01:26:09,133 We interviewed Miss Hatto for the school mag. 1293 01:26:09,233 --> 01:26:12,533 We thought you might like to hear it. The tape was still in it. 1294 01:26:16,233 --> 01:26:17,400 YOUNG PILKS: Miss Hatto... 1295 01:26:17,500 --> 01:26:19,833 Oh, sorry, Birdy, what am I asking first? 1296 01:26:19,933 --> 01:26:22,067 YOUNG BIRDY: "What's the best thing about being a concert pianist?" 1297 01:26:22,133 --> 01:26:24,267 YOUNG PILKS: Yes. Sorry. Miss Hatto, can you tell us, please, 1298 01:26:24,367 --> 01:26:27,300 what is the best thing about being a concert pianist? 1299 01:26:27,400 --> 01:26:32,600 YOUNG JOYCE: Well, I think it's that every time you sit down to play, 1300 01:26:32,700 --> 01:26:35,400 you don't actually know what's going to happen 1301 01:26:35,500 --> 01:26:36,767 because every concert is different, 1302 01:26:36,867 --> 01:26:38,400 every audience is different. 1303 01:26:38,867 --> 01:26:39,867 (INAUDIBLE) 1304 01:26:42,067 --> 01:26:44,533 And you don't always want them to say, 1305 01:26:44,633 --> 01:26:46,067 "Wasn't Joyce Hatto wonderful?" 1306 01:26:46,167 --> 01:26:48,400 Or you don't even necessarily want them to say, 1307 01:26:48,500 --> 01:26:50,500 "Oh, wasn't Chopin wonderful?" 1308 01:26:50,600 --> 01:26:52,667 Or Bach or Beethoven. 1309 01:26:52,767 --> 01:26:54,600 I want them to go away feeling 1310 01:26:54,700 --> 01:26:57,933 something wonderful and special has happened just to them. 1311 01:26:58,067 --> 01:26:59,600 YOUNG BIRDY: And what's the worst thing? 1312 01:26:59,700 --> 01:27:02,433 YOUNG PILKS: Birdy! YOUNG BIRDY: What? 1313 01:27:02,533 --> 01:27:05,733 YOUNG JOYCE: Well, it... It can be quite lonely. 1314 01:27:05,833 --> 01:27:08,500 I'm very lucky, I have the most encouraging husband. 1315 01:27:09,633 --> 01:27:11,833 I can get a little bit discouraged sometimes 1316 01:27:11,933 --> 01:27:14,667 when a piece doesn't quite go as I think it should 1317 01:27:14,767 --> 01:27:18,733 and I say, "Oh, Barrie I can't do this," and "Barrie, I can't do that." 1318 01:27:18,833 --> 01:27:21,500 And he says, "Go on," he says, "you can do it." 1319 01:27:21,600 --> 01:27:23,100 And he's right, I can. 1320 01:27:24,300 --> 01:27:25,533 Sorry. 1321 01:27:27,633 --> 01:27:29,667 I just thought you might like to hear her voice. 1322 01:27:32,767 --> 01:27:34,067 We should scarper, Birdy. 1323 01:27:34,133 --> 01:27:37,067 -No, no, stay. -No, no. We can read it in the papers. 1324 01:27:37,133 --> 01:27:38,833 You don't owe us an explanation. 1325 01:27:38,933 --> 01:27:43,500 It's just that because she always said playing music was about being honest, 1326 01:27:43,600 --> 01:27:45,067 we couldn't really believe 1327 01:27:45,100 --> 01:27:48,700 that she would have had anything to do with something fraudulent. 1328 01:27:52,500 --> 01:27:53,733 She didn't. 1329 01:27:55,167 --> 01:27:56,500 She didn't? 1330 01:27:56,600 --> 01:27:59,167 Oh, Pilks. She really didn't? 1331 01:28:04,367 --> 01:28:07,067 She didn't know anything about it. 1332 01:28:07,100 --> 01:28:10,767 As far as she was concerned, the recordings were as she played them. 1333 01:28:12,433 --> 01:28:14,467 So they were her recordings? 1334 01:28:14,567 --> 01:28:15,933 Absolutely they were. 1335 01:28:31,600 --> 01:28:33,900 The trouble was, poor thing... 1336 01:28:35,667 --> 01:28:39,800 When she played, she would make these little noises, 1337 01:28:40,633 --> 01:28:41,900 little cries of pain. 1338 01:28:43,333 --> 01:28:44,967 She didn't even know she was doing them. 1339 01:28:46,067 --> 01:28:50,367 So I had to find a way to patch them up 1340 01:28:50,467 --> 01:28:53,433 and, yes, it's a fair cop in a sense, 1341 01:28:53,533 --> 01:28:56,500 (STUTTERS) I made little edits, 1342 01:28:56,600 --> 01:29:00,267 but I never took a whole movement, 1343 01:29:00,367 --> 01:29:01,800 not even a whole bar. 1344 01:29:07,300 --> 01:29:09,267 YOUNG JOYCE: It can get a bit lonely, 1345 01:29:09,367 --> 01:29:12,700 but I'm very lucky, I have the most encouraging husband. 1346 01:29:12,800 --> 01:29:15,200 I can get a little bit discouraged sometimes 1347 01:29:15,300 --> 01:29:18,233 when a piece doesn't go quite as I think it should 1348 01:29:18,333 --> 01:29:20,967 and I say, "Oh, Barrie, I can't do this," 1349 01:29:21,067 --> 01:29:22,467 and "Barrie, I can't do that," 1350 01:29:22,567 --> 01:29:24,967 and he says, "Go on," he says "you can do it." 1351 01:29:25,067 --> 01:29:27,433 And he's right, I can. 1352 01:29:27,533 --> 01:29:32,400 He always says that I'm the engine driver and he's the oily rag 1353 01:29:32,500 --> 01:29:35,400 and, you know, sometimes you need an oily rag 1354 01:29:35,500 --> 01:29:37,467 to get the engine going. 1355 01:29:37,567 --> 01:29:40,100 I don't care if the only thing you ever manage to play 1356 01:29:40,200 --> 01:29:41,900 is the Teddy Bears' Picnic. 1357 01:29:42,067 --> 01:29:45,700 You know, if you play it with passion, commitment and truth, 1358 01:29:45,800 --> 01:29:47,933 then you'll have my vote. 1359 01:29:48,067 --> 01:29:49,933 And you'll make me a very happy Hatto. 106183