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Ooh, you gotta start watching
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"The Guest Book," man!
3
00:00:04,636 --> 00:00:07,036
So, last episode, everyone
that lives in the town
4
00:00:07,038 --> 00:00:08,559
ended up at a party together.
5
00:00:08,565 --> 00:00:11,084
The stripper was messing with
the old dude she's blackmailing,
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00:00:11,090 --> 00:00:13,157
and he was really sweating
in front of his wife.
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00:00:13,224 --> 00:00:14,590
And the cop and the doctor
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00:00:14,596 --> 00:00:16,263
seemed to have hit it
off with each other.
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00:00:16,269 --> 00:00:18,057
So, I can't wait to see
what happens with them.
10
00:00:18,063 --> 00:00:20,230
They're out of doughnuts again.
11
00:00:21,373 --> 00:00:22,855
Thanks, Joe!
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- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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I probably shouldn't be
writing in this guest book,
14
00:00:53,778 --> 00:00:56,045
but we had such an
epic time at your little
15
00:00:56,051 --> 00:00:58,376
cabin in the woods that
I just can't help myself.
16
00:00:58,681 --> 00:01:00,986
I came up here with
my girlfriend, Marla.
17
00:01:01,550 --> 00:01:03,346
Marla's the best.
18
00:01:06,460 --> 00:01:08,594
Normally, the only
vacation we can afford
19
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,608
is camping in front of our trailer.
20
00:01:13,188 --> 00:01:15,063
Hey. What you watching?
21
00:01:15,069 --> 00:01:16,580
Some old TV show.
22
00:01:16,582 --> 00:01:18,615
It's called "Into the
Night with Rick Dees."
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00:01:18,617 --> 00:01:20,779
I used to watch it when I was a kid.
24
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Oh, cool.
25
00:01:22,705 --> 00:01:25,920
I like thinking about you as a
little kid. I bet you were trouble.
26
00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:28,245
I kicked a mailman in the balls once.
27
00:01:28,251 --> 00:01:29,827
- I knew it.
- Mmm.
28
00:01:29,829 --> 00:01:31,428
But as great as Marla was,
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00:01:31,430 --> 00:01:33,964
there were two things I
wouldn't mind changing.
30
00:01:33,966 --> 00:01:36,532
The first thing was,
she wouldn't marry me.
31
00:01:36,627 --> 00:01:38,001
Hmm?
32
00:01:38,471 --> 00:01:40,737
Will you stop with that?
33
00:01:40,811 --> 00:01:42,861
You know I don't believe in marriage.
34
00:01:42,867 --> 00:01:44,326
And the second thing...
35
00:01:44,332 --> 00:01:46,799
She recently discovered crystal meth.
36
00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,114
Hey, did I tell you what happened when I
37
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,648
was eating in the shitty diner on Maple?
38
00:01:55,654 --> 00:01:57,121
The shitty one, not the one
with the claw machine.
39
00:01:57,123 --> 00:01:58,522
By the way, did you see that somebody
40
00:01:58,524 --> 00:02:00,591
finally got that SpongeBob
plushie out of that thing?
41
00:02:00,593 --> 00:02:02,760
I mean, that is $10 in quarters
I am never getting back.
42
00:02:02,762 --> 00:02:04,228
Anyway, did I tell you what
happened when I was eating
43
00:02:04,230 --> 00:02:05,662
in that shitty diner on Maple,
44
00:02:05,664 --> 00:02:07,581
the shitty one, not the one
with the claw machine?
45
00:02:07,587 --> 00:02:09,820
Man, did the powder in
that baggie make her talk.
46
00:02:09,826 --> 00:02:11,559
But with all the weed I smoke,
47
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:14,258
who was I to calculate
someone's drug use?
48
00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:16,487
Although, lately, it's
been worse than usual.
49
00:02:16,493 --> 00:02:19,427
Last week, she got fired from
her job as a cocktail waitress
50
00:02:19,429 --> 00:02:22,297
for stealing credit cards
to trade for drugs.
51
00:02:27,828 --> 00:02:29,327
Hey, baby.
52
00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:31,834
How about this for an idea
for a cartoon TV show?
53
00:02:31,836 --> 00:02:34,903
A dog marries a squirrel, right?
54
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:37,248
And the whole thing is narrated
55
00:02:37,265 --> 00:02:38,681
by a gay Popsicle.
56
00:02:38,687 --> 00:02:40,709
So, I decided I needed to do something
57
00:02:40,711 --> 00:02:42,285
before things got worse.
58
00:02:42,291 --> 00:02:44,747
Plus, I was still holing out
hope we'd get married one day
59
00:02:44,749 --> 00:02:46,348
and, well, I don't know if you've seen
60
00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:48,801
what meth does to a person's teeth, but
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00:02:48,807 --> 00:02:51,987
I'd hate for her to lose
that cute smile of hers.
62
00:02:51,993 --> 00:02:54,419
So I suggested we go on
a real camping trip.
63
00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:56,058
I even borrowed my uncle's jet skis
64
00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:57,860
so we could ride 'em in the river.
65
00:02:57,862 --> 00:03:00,429
And I knew she couldn't score
drugs way up in the mountains,
66
00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:02,364
so I was hoping that
if she ran out of meth,
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00:03:02,366 --> 00:03:04,767
I'd get my old Marla back.
68
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,419
Jelly beans!
69
00:03:13,678 --> 00:03:16,412
Oh, want me some jelly beans!
70
00:03:16,715 --> 00:03:18,047
What up, Lady Fuzz?
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00:03:46,744 --> 00:03:48,795
- Oh, hey.
- Oh, hey.
72
00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:50,664
- What you got there?
- Oh, this?
73
00:03:50,670 --> 00:03:53,282
Oh, just a little over the
counter dimethyl ether.
74
00:03:53,284 --> 00:03:54,583
It's good removal of warts.
75
00:03:54,589 --> 00:03:55,652
Uh,
76
00:03:55,658 --> 00:03:58,036
- I have a particularly stubborn case...
- Never mind, never mind.
77
00:03:58,042 --> 00:04:00,155
Forget I... That was just
supposed to be small talk.
78
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,427
I thought it was shampoo,
and I had a joke ready.
79
00:04:02,433 --> 00:04:03,694
- Ah.
- Look, um,
80
00:04:03,749 --> 00:04:06,191
I had a good time at
that party the other night.
81
00:04:06,197 --> 00:04:07,648
I gave you my number...
82
00:04:07,654 --> 00:04:10,111
Sure, no, I had fun, too.
83
00:04:10,434 --> 00:04:12,034
It's just, you know, I'm not
84
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,761
officially divorced yet, so...
85
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,934
Uh, sour or classic?
86
00:04:16,136 --> 00:04:17,410
Tommy!
87
00:04:17,475 --> 00:04:19,508
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have brought it up.
88
00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,176
If you want to call, you'll call.
89
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,049
- Or you won't. Whatever, I don't care.
- Tommy!
90
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,031
It's just that I told my
mom I gave you my number,
91
00:04:25,037 --> 00:04:26,660
and now she keeps
texting me to see if you...
92
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,192
You know, she's crazy. Not me, I
didn't get that gene, but she's just
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00:04:29,198 --> 00:04:30,512
- obsesses over every little...
- Tommy!
94
00:04:30,518 --> 00:04:32,443
You know when is said that
I didn't care if you called,
95
00:04:32,445 --> 00:04:34,118
it doesn't mean that I don't
want you to call, all right,
96
00:04:34,124 --> 00:04:35,443
- Tommy!
- I just don't want you to think,
97
00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:36,689
and it's probably not
the right choice of...
98
00:04:36,695 --> 00:04:38,396
I feel like I've been
talking a really long time.
99
00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:40,502
Well, I-I-I... I'm sure that I'll call.
100
00:04:40,508 --> 00:04:42,610
It's just like I said, it's
complicated right now,
101
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,983
and I-I-I just need a little time to....
102
00:04:44,989 --> 00:04:47,171
I'm... I'm sure I will call.
103
00:04:47,177 --> 00:04:50,008
Probably, I think. Uh, uh...
104
00:04:53,956 --> 00:04:55,656
Tommy!
105
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,716
- Tommy!
- Yeah.
106
00:04:59,229 --> 00:05:00,262
Look!
107
00:05:00,268 --> 00:05:02,391
Look at these cabins they got up here.
108
00:05:02,422 --> 00:05:03,847
We should rent one.
109
00:05:03,853 --> 00:05:06,132
I don't want to sleep in the El Camino.
110
00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:08,005
I don't have a lot of cash.
111
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:09,583
We don't need cash, baby.
112
00:05:09,585 --> 00:05:12,048
I still got all these
stolen credit cards, okay?
113
00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:14,868
You gotta do it, though, 'cause
they all got boys names on them.
114
00:05:15,016 --> 00:05:16,624
I'll meet you in the car, okay?
115
00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:19,269
Uh, but I already got two strikes.
116
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:20,707
Don't be a pussy.
117
00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,563
Froggy Cottage looks nice.
118
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,083
That one's not available.
119
00:05:58,089 --> 00:06:01,324
Someone broke in and
busted the downstairs toilet.
120
00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:02,996
Do you want to put this on pause?
121
00:06:03,002 --> 00:06:05,436
No, I'll do-Si-do my way
back in when I'm done.
122
00:06:05,442 --> 00:06:06,874
That's square dancing.
123
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,246
Totally different animal.
124
00:06:08,252 --> 00:06:10,551
That's why you need to pay attention.
125
00:06:10,653 --> 00:06:13,045
I guess I'll take Owl's Retreat.
126
00:06:13,051 --> 00:06:14,092
Great.
127
00:06:14,098 --> 00:06:15,597
I'll just need a credit card
128
00:06:15,603 --> 00:06:17,603
and need to write your name
and number in my book.
129
00:06:20,109 --> 00:06:21,742
The problem was I was very white
130
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:24,594
and the bar Marla used to
work at was very Mexican.
131
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,489
When are you gonna get that
toilet fixed in Froggy Cottage?
132
00:06:27,495 --> 00:06:30,004
We losing money with that
thing just sitting there vacant.
133
00:06:30,006 --> 00:06:32,439
Well, I called Steve,
but he's in Grantsville,
134
00:06:32,441 --> 00:06:34,475
testifying at his nephew's murder trail.
135
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:35,910
With that stutter,
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00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:37,549
he gonna be on that stand for
137
00:06:37,555 --> 00:06:39,658
m-m-m-m-months.
138
00:06:41,136 --> 00:06:42,569
Here you go.
139
00:06:44,757 --> 00:06:46,858
Till you get that toilet fixed...
140
00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:49,657
That cabin is just sitting there vacant.
141
00:06:50,119 --> 00:06:52,492
Vacant cabin does us no good.
142
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,666
Home, sweet home.
143
00:07:00,549 --> 00:07:03,018
Since we broke into your
cabin in the middle of the night,
144
00:07:03,024 --> 00:07:05,432
there wasn't much to do but go to sleep.
145
00:07:05,438 --> 00:07:07,104
And thanks to the mountain atmosphere,
146
00:07:07,106 --> 00:07:09,319
I slept halfway through the next day.
147
00:07:13,742 --> 00:07:16,313
I wish I could say the same about Marla.
148
00:07:23,217 --> 00:07:25,063
Oh, baby!
149
00:07:25,809 --> 00:07:27,424
Check this shit out.
150
00:07:29,364 --> 00:07:30,764
It's an owl.
151
00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:32,436
Uh, I don't see an owl.
152
00:07:32,438 --> 00:07:34,107
Oh, trust me.
153
00:07:34,113 --> 00:07:35,879
It's an owl.
154
00:07:46,486 --> 00:07:49,239
Okay, so why "probably"?
155
00:07:49,455 --> 00:07:50,554
Excuse me?
156
00:07:50,556 --> 00:07:52,103
You said you'd probably call,
157
00:07:52,109 --> 00:07:53,498
- maybe, you think.
- Mm.
158
00:07:53,504 --> 00:07:54,755
It's just that, look,
159
00:07:54,779 --> 00:07:56,831
we are both too old to play games.
160
00:07:56,837 --> 00:07:58,515
Not that I'm calling you old.
I mean, I know you're
161
00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:00,025
older than me, because
I ran your plates.
162
00:08:00,031 --> 00:08:01,387
- Ah!
- That's not what I'm...
163
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,463
This went a lot better in
the bathroom at Arby's.
164
00:08:03,469 --> 00:08:05,605
I was practicing in front of the mirror.
And it's actually kind of
165
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,410
funny, this woman walked in...
That... it doesn't matter.
166
00:08:07,416 --> 00:08:08,904
Look, I like you.
167
00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:11,686
Okay, and it obviously makes me
nervous and sound like a lunatic,
168
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,051
but I like you.
169
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:14,691
Warts and all.
170
00:08:14,697 --> 00:08:16,735
Well, it's only one wart.
171
00:08:16,741 --> 00:08:18,543
- It's just a really big one.
- That's okay,
172
00:08:18,549 --> 00:08:20,745
- I really don't need to... where is it?
- It's on my heel.
173
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,958
Oh, okay, well, that's
actually not so...
174
00:08:22,964 --> 00:08:24,348
What's with the crossbow?
175
00:08:24,354 --> 00:08:26,754
Well, I'm trying to get good
at it to impress my son.
176
00:08:27,126 --> 00:08:30,194
Been looking at me different
ever since the separation,
177
00:08:30,196 --> 00:08:31,811
and I think he knows it's my fault.
178
00:08:31,817 --> 00:08:32,869
Oh.
179
00:08:32,875 --> 00:08:34,726
What'd you do? Cheat?
180
00:08:35,105 --> 00:08:36,305
Yeah.
181
00:08:36,574 --> 00:08:38,568
I mean, kind of.
182
00:08:38,826 --> 00:08:40,340
Sort of.
183
00:08:43,249 --> 00:08:44,681
You know...
184
00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:49,053
Get down!
185
00:08:49,706 --> 00:08:51,839
I think we need to stay
below the windows.
186
00:08:51,845 --> 00:08:53,228
Okay, baby.
187
00:08:53,459 --> 00:08:55,289
And I'm gonna make you some breakfast.
188
00:08:55,295 --> 00:08:57,389
I found some old Chinese
food in the fridge.
189
00:08:57,395 --> 00:08:58,594
Cool. Okay.
190
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,435
I'm gonna grab my
toothbrush and go upstairs
191
00:09:00,441 --> 00:09:01,852
and use the bathroom.
192
00:09:02,255 --> 00:09:04,055
Ooh. Tommy?
193
00:09:04,061 --> 00:09:05,260
Yeah, baby?
194
00:09:05,266 --> 00:09:07,547
Thanks for taking me on vacation.
195
00:09:07,553 --> 00:09:09,376
Anytime, sweetie.
196
00:09:09,904 --> 00:09:12,527
The longer that Marla
had access to meth,
197
00:09:12,533 --> 00:09:15,554
the longer it was gonna
take for her to detoxification.
198
00:09:16,172 --> 00:09:19,507
So, I took matters into my own hands.
199
00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:22,897
Okay, I'm confused.
200
00:09:22,903 --> 00:09:24,366
Just back this up a little bit.
201
00:09:24,372 --> 00:09:26,872
- When exactly did all this happen?
- Oh...
202
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,840
About six months ago.
203
00:09:28,842 --> 00:09:30,396
My wife and I had been fighting a lot,
204
00:09:30,402 --> 00:09:32,235
but I was also really unhappy at work.
205
00:09:32,241 --> 00:09:34,039
There was this new timecard system that,
206
00:09:34,045 --> 00:09:35,978
to this day, it still
doesn't make sense.
207
00:09:36,383 --> 00:09:38,550
The point is I wasn't sure
if it was my marriage
208
00:09:38,552 --> 00:09:40,695
that was making me miserable
or the stress of my job
209
00:09:40,701 --> 00:09:42,273
that was making my marriage miserable.
210
00:09:42,279 --> 00:09:43,807
So you opened a Tinder account.
211
00:09:43,813 --> 00:09:46,307
Yeah, but not for sex.
212
00:09:46,313 --> 00:09:47,726
This is gonna sound crazy.
213
00:09:47,728 --> 00:09:50,328
I thought if I went on a
date and it made me happy,
214
00:09:50,330 --> 00:09:51,663
I was in a bad marriage.
215
00:09:51,665 --> 00:09:54,193
If I went on a date and
I was still unhappy,
216
00:09:54,199 --> 00:09:56,024
maybe the marriage wasn't the problem.
217
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,409
- So which was it?
- Never found out.
218
00:09:58,415 --> 00:10:01,306
My wife's friend saw my profile
online and ratted me out.
219
00:10:01,654 --> 00:10:03,220
Now, according to my brother,
220
00:10:03,222 --> 00:10:05,098
my wife has a Tinder account of her own,
221
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,538
complete with pictures
from our honeymoon.
222
00:10:07,728 --> 00:10:09,494
Apparently, she's in a bikini.
223
00:10:09,496 --> 00:10:12,256
I'm in the background, cleaning
guacamole off my shirt.
224
00:10:13,206 --> 00:10:14,939
You haven't looked at it?
225
00:10:14,945 --> 00:10:17,378
No, it would just make me too angry.
226
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,471
I still hope I can fix things.
227
00:10:19,473 --> 00:10:21,206
I mean, I have to try, right?
228
00:10:21,208 --> 00:10:23,041
This whole thing was my fault.
229
00:10:23,043 --> 00:10:24,787
I owe it to my kid.
230
00:10:28,488 --> 00:10:30,356
_
231
00:10:31,473 --> 00:10:32,984
_
232
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,035
_
233
00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:40,191
_
234
00:10:46,749 --> 00:10:49,349
Where is my crystal?
235
00:10:51,343 --> 00:10:54,477
Start putting some of
those timers on the lights.
236
00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:56,112
Hopefully, that'll stop people
237
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:59,038
from busting in here
and breaking things.
238
00:11:00,519 --> 00:11:02,263
I think this toilet is
239
00:11:02,279 --> 00:11:03,998
still leaking a little bit.
240
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:07,294
I'm-a go outside and
241
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,087
shut all the water off.
242
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:10,560
Okay.
243
00:11:22,838 --> 00:11:24,721
Hello?
244
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:27,510
Oh, yeah, Tickles, I know who this is.
245
00:11:29,081 --> 00:11:31,648
Well, I don't care if
you have somebody else.
246
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:33,516
I don't know if I'm-a do this again.
247
00:11:33,522 --> 00:11:36,360
The people you rented one of
the cabins to broke the toilet.
248
00:11:36,454 --> 00:11:37,754
Whoa!
249
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,844
I don't know what a cock-smoocher is,
250
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:41,424
but there's no need for name-calling.
251
00:11:41,426 --> 00:11:43,813
You kiss your mama with that mouth?
252
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:44,899
Uh-huh.
253
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,428
So where would I...
254
00:11:46,966 --> 00:11:48,432
But if you let me...
255
00:11:51,303 --> 00:11:53,097
I know, I just...
256
00:11:53,572 --> 00:11:55,545
Well, okay, I'm sorry, okay?
257
00:11:55,551 --> 00:11:58,675
I didn't... I didn't... I didn't
know that about your mother.
258
00:11:58,854 --> 00:12:01,286
Mesothelioma sounds quite serious.
259
00:12:01,292 --> 00:12:03,036
I've seen the commercials during
260
00:12:03,042 --> 00:12:04,859
"Price Is Right." Oh,
look, look, look, look.
261
00:12:04,865 --> 00:12:07,555
I'm just saying that when
you blackmail somebody
262
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,694
and make them give you
the keys to their cabins,
263
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:11,529
it would be nice if you could rent them
264
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:15,029
- to people that don't break things.
- Oh. Wilfrid!
265
00:12:15,515 --> 00:12:18,140
I hurt my wrist shutting off the water.
266
00:12:18,225 --> 00:12:20,314
Oh, uh, coming!
267
00:12:20,456 --> 00:12:22,056
Oh, I am so sorry.
268
00:12:22,062 --> 00:12:24,505
This... This shouldn't
have ever happened.
269
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:27,145
I just hope this doesn't
keep us from line dancing.
270
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:29,885
There's a surprising amount
of upper body moves.
271
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,460
Come on, Tommy, it's dark.
272
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,862
We could just sneak out.
273
00:12:43,868 --> 00:12:46,316
Let's just give it a
couple more hours, okay?
274
00:12:46,322 --> 00:12:48,121
- Maybe you'll start to feel better.
- Oh, you know
275
00:12:48,127 --> 00:12:50,594
I can't be locked up
with no meth, Tommy.
276
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,615
I would have never even
made it through jury duty
277
00:12:52,621 --> 00:12:55,056
if you hadn't have been throwing
shit up to my hotel window.
278
00:12:56,336 --> 00:12:57,745
Oh, God.
279
00:12:57,751 --> 00:13:00,282
Hey, what if we get your mind off it?
280
00:13:00,288 --> 00:13:02,221
Hey, how about we watch
some Rick Dees online?
281
00:13:02,227 --> 00:13:04,628
I don't want to watch Rick Dees, okay?
282
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:06,426
- I want to score.
- Oh, come on, you love
283
00:13:06,432 --> 00:13:07,793
watching Rick Dees. It brings back
284
00:13:07,799 --> 00:13:09,437
happy memories from your childhood.
285
00:13:09,443 --> 00:13:10,775
Does it?
286
00:13:10,781 --> 00:13:12,562
- Does it, Tommy?
- Yeah.
287
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:15,335
Do you know what time Rick Dees came on?
288
00:13:16,111 --> 00:13:18,177
At 11:30 at night.
289
00:13:18,773 --> 00:13:20,661
You know how old I was?
290
00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:22,788
I was 3,
291
00:13:22,794 --> 00:13:24,240
because my mom
292
00:13:24,246 --> 00:13:26,790
would go out, and she would
leave me home alone at night.
293
00:13:26,796 --> 00:13:29,923
I would wake up in the middle
of the night, terrified,
294
00:13:29,925 --> 00:13:32,192
and I would turn on the TV for comfort.
295
00:13:32,194 --> 00:13:34,085
How's that sound to you, huh?
296
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:36,827
Does that sound like a
happy memory to you?
297
00:13:38,638 --> 00:13:40,871
Bitch would just leave me there.
298
00:13:41,069 --> 00:13:44,070
Night after night, she'd
just leave me there.
299
00:13:44,072 --> 00:13:45,514
Oh, my God.
300
00:13:46,857 --> 00:13:50,346
Without the drugs, you're
experiencing real emotions again!
301
00:13:50,352 --> 00:13:51,925
I've seen this on a reality show.
302
00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:53,649
A dental hygienist quit heroin,
303
00:13:53,655 --> 00:13:56,728
and then punched a pony-tailed
cousin in the dick for molesting her.
304
00:13:56,734 --> 00:13:59,201
Baby, this is really good!
305
00:13:59,483 --> 00:14:02,266
- I'm... feeling stuff.
- You're feeling things!
306
00:14:02,272 --> 00:14:04,466
Oh, baby, I'm so proud of you.
307
00:14:04,472 --> 00:14:06,834
Oh, my God, I knew you could do it.
I knew it.
308
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,410
I just knew that you'd
get back to your old self
309
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,216
if you just took a
break from that stuff.
310
00:14:11,222 --> 00:14:12,555
Oh.
311
00:14:12,674 --> 00:14:14,507
That's why I flushed it down the toilet.
312
00:14:16,999 --> 00:14:19,533
You flushed my crystal?
313
00:14:19,981 --> 00:14:22,749
Yeah, I knew that if you
could just step away from it
314
00:14:22,751 --> 00:14:24,984
for a minute, then, you know,
315
00:14:24,986 --> 00:14:27,201
you'd get back to who you really Ar...
316
00:14:28,457 --> 00:14:30,857
I am gonna kill you!
317
00:14:31,886 --> 00:14:33,482
You son of a bitch!
318
00:14:33,488 --> 00:14:34,696
Shh!
319
00:15:20,251 --> 00:15:22,543
Marla! Remember you love me!
320
00:15:22,549 --> 00:15:24,458
I love my meth, too!
321
00:15:25,822 --> 00:15:27,855
Maybe you should be together.
322
00:15:45,163 --> 00:15:47,039
You didn't flush all of it.
323
00:15:47,045 --> 00:15:49,977
I kept a little for myself in case
I got tired on the drive home.
324
00:15:51,494 --> 00:15:52,794
You dick!
325
00:16:03,373 --> 00:16:04,684
Aah!
326
00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:05,732
Come on!
327
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,042
You shit!
328
00:16:12,355 --> 00:16:13,902
Come on!
329
00:16:14,784 --> 00:16:16,435
No! No!
330
00:16:21,124 --> 00:16:23,282
You gotta look at your
wife's Tinder account.
331
00:16:23,288 --> 00:16:24,687
What?
332
00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:26,932
You've gotta look at your
wife's Tinder account.
333
00:16:26,938 --> 00:16:29,491
No, I said I didn't want...
I'm not ready.
334
00:16:29,497 --> 00:16:31,165
Why are you looking at
my wife's Tinder account?
335
00:16:31,167 --> 00:16:32,767
I'm a cop. I like to investigate things.
336
00:16:32,769 --> 00:16:34,634
And, to be honest, I wanted
to see what she looked like
337
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,480
in a bikini to see how I measured up.
338
00:16:36,486 --> 00:16:39,828
And I've got bigger boobs, but she's
got me beat ass to knees. Read it.
339
00:16:43,343 --> 00:16:44,542
Okay.
340
00:16:44,548 --> 00:16:46,281
"Looking for fun and adventure,
341
00:16:46,287 --> 00:16:48,421
"preferably with someone
who doesn't work
342
00:16:48,427 --> 00:16:49,859
"late hours in the medical field."
343
00:16:49,865 --> 00:16:52,032
Well, that seems fairly
targeted at me, whatever.
344
00:16:52,038 --> 00:16:53,705
"Someone who can wear flip-flips
345
00:16:53,711 --> 00:16:55,177
"and isn't allergic to strawberries."
346
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,924
Like I can control any of that, Jessica!
347
00:16:58,027 --> 00:17:00,461
See, this is why I
didn't want to do his.
348
00:17:00,463 --> 00:17:02,466
Read how she describes herself.
349
00:17:02,472 --> 00:17:04,329
She likes something called
350
00:17:04,579 --> 00:17:06,407
"Game of Thrones"?
351
00:17:06,538 --> 00:17:08,303
Uh, she loves watching football.
352
00:17:08,309 --> 00:17:09,624
That's a lie.
353
00:17:09,630 --> 00:17:11,875
Uh, the one thing she
still hopes to do in life
354
00:17:11,881 --> 00:17:13,608
is see Prince live in concert.
355
00:17:13,610 --> 00:17:16,099
She hopes to one day
see Prince live in concert.
356
00:17:16,105 --> 00:17:17,437
Prince is dead!
357
00:17:17,443 --> 00:17:19,347
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
sound so happy about that.
358
00:17:19,349 --> 00:17:21,115
I was actually really devastated.
359
00:17:21,117 --> 00:17:23,217
The point is she wrote this
profile before he died.
360
00:17:23,219 --> 00:17:24,752
- That was like a year ago.
- I know,
361
00:17:24,754 --> 00:17:26,420
you said you went on
Tinder six months ago.
362
00:17:26,422 --> 00:17:28,256
- So she was on Tinder before I was.
- Yep,
363
00:17:28,258 --> 00:17:31,031
her friend didn't find
your profile. She did.
364
00:17:31,037 --> 00:17:32,221
Holy shit!
365
00:17:32,227 --> 00:17:33,978
She wanted out of this
marriage before I did!
366
00:17:33,984 --> 00:17:35,713
- It's not my fault!
- It's not your fault!
367
00:17:35,719 --> 00:17:37,231
You want to go out to
dinner with me sometime?
368
00:17:37,237 --> 00:17:39,443
You bet your ass I do,
you hot little policewoman.
369
00:17:49,184 --> 00:17:50,717
Oh, shit.
370
00:18:02,818 --> 00:18:04,667
Must have been a bear.
371
00:18:19,759 --> 00:18:21,582
That's not good.
372
00:18:36,168 --> 00:18:38,459
What would make a bear act like that?
373
00:18:39,062 --> 00:18:40,461
Honey.
374
00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:42,305
Pick-a-nick basket.
375
00:18:42,307 --> 00:18:44,774
That's all I know about bears.
376
00:18:45,354 --> 00:18:48,489
Later, Marla thanked me
for flushing her drugs.
377
00:18:48,491 --> 00:18:51,125
She said that it really showed
that I cared about her.
378
00:18:51,127 --> 00:18:53,661
And the fact that I was willing
to take a beating from her
379
00:18:53,663 --> 00:18:56,041
and stand by her side while
a bear could have killed us
380
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:58,781
made her feel protected for
the first time in her life.
381
00:18:58,816 --> 00:19:01,250
I feel so alive and I'm not even high.
382
00:19:01,256 --> 00:19:02,922
Oh. It's pretty wild.
383
00:19:02,928 --> 00:19:04,399
Pretty wild.
384
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:08,939
Marry me.
385
00:19:10,529 --> 00:19:12,253
I thought you didn't
believe in marriage.
386
00:19:12,259 --> 00:19:13,454
I don't.
387
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:16,199
- I believe in you.
- Oh.
388
00:19:18,771 --> 00:19:20,531
So anyway, I just can't tell you
389
00:19:20,537 --> 00:19:22,672
how happy we were to
break into your cabin.
390
00:19:22,799 --> 00:19:24,766
We really needed a vacation.
391
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,936
Marla didn't want to turn on the vacuum
392
00:19:26,942 --> 00:19:28,603
and make a lot of noise,
so she crawled around
393
00:19:28,609 --> 00:19:30,308
for an hour or so and picked up about
394
00:19:30,314 --> 00:19:32,708
two or three pocketfuls
of dirt off the floor.
395
00:19:33,681 --> 00:19:36,215
We never figured out how
to turn the water back on,
396
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,050
so we had to poop in a plastic bag.
397
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,686
But we took it with us.
398
00:19:39,692 --> 00:19:41,420
We're not animals.
399
00:19:49,089 --> 00:19:52,842
♪ Nobody's gonna love you like I do ♪
400
00:19:52,874 --> 00:19:54,240
♪ You can count on that, honey ♪
401
00:19:54,242 --> 00:19:58,411
♪ Nobody's gonna love you like I do ♪
402
00:19:58,413 --> 00:19:59,779
♪ Oh, isn't that funny? ♪
403
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:02,015
♪ So what you gonna do without me? ♪
404
00:20:02,017 --> 00:20:05,351
♪ Are you going to settle down? ♪
405
00:20:05,353 --> 00:20:08,955
♪ Ain't nobody like me's
gonna come around ♪
406
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,080
_
407
00:20:17,086 --> 00:20:19,199
_
408
00:20:19,201 --> 00:20:22,302
♪ I won't give back my lovin' ♪
409
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:27,863
♪ And I wouldn't take
it if you asked me to ♪
410
00:20:30,545 --> 00:20:32,545
♪ But you'll get a pretty penny ♪
411
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:36,859
♪ You'll trade it in for something new ♪
412
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:41,788
♪ Oh... ♪
413
00:20:41,790 --> 00:20:43,423
What's the name of this
place we're going to?
414
00:20:43,425 --> 00:20:45,120
Froggy Cottage.
415
00:20:46,592 --> 00:20:48,492
Oh.
416
00:20:48,597 --> 00:20:51,531
This is gonna be a long weekend.
417
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:55,398
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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