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1
00:00:01,610 --> 00:00:03,046
♪♪ [theme]
2
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Believe me, this hurts you
a lot more than it hurts me.
3
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:38,386
Don't worry. You'll be okay.
4
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:42,868
-[speaking French]
-French unit, sir.
Got mortared.
5
00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:45,610
Okay. You're gonna be okay.
6
00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:48,744
North Korean pilot, doctor.
Bullet wound in the shoulder.
7
00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:50,441
Your shoulder's going
to be fine, Lieutenant,
8
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:53,096
but I'd hold off throwing
the curve ball a while.
9
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,403
Doctor, can you tell me
how long it's gonna be?
10
00:00:55,446 --> 00:00:56,795
I got orders to get
this guy outta here.
11
00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,101
Soon as his infection
clears up.
12
00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,798
The R.O.K. troops
13
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:01,496
must have stopped
sterilizing their bullets.
14
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:03,280
-Salut.
-MAN: Salut.
15
00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:04,499
Ca va?
16
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,414
[speaking French]
17
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:11,027
Ah. This is one of our
doctors: Major Winchester.
18
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,116
-Martine Le Clerc.
-How do you do?
19
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,466
-Ah, Bonjour.
-Bonjour, Doctor.
20
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Miss Le Clerc
is a volunteer
21
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:18,121
with the International
Red Cross.
22
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,167
Ah. A touch
of Gallic loveliness
23
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:21,603
is just the prescription
for these boys,
24
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,387
not to mention
their doctors.
25
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[chuckling]
26
00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:26,608
Your man is right
over here, Major.
27
00:01:28,262 --> 00:01:30,264
Excuse me, sir. This man's
a prisoner of war.
28
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Not anymore.
29
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Major Reddish is in charge
30
00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:34,964
of Lieutenant Chong-Wha Park
as of now.
31
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:36,618
By orders
of General Mark Clark.
32
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:39,577
From here on,
you answer to me.
33
00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:42,145
Congratulations, Chong-Wha.
34
00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:44,713
How's it feel to be
America's newest war hero?
35
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,543
You read me, son?
36
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,762
He doesn't understand
loud English, either.
37
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,634
But we have a farmer
up the road
38
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who translates for us a lot.
39
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:55,941
Negative, Colonel.
I've already sent to H.Q.
40
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,639
for an official interpreter.
41
00:01:57,682 --> 00:02:00,816
We can't trust such a highly
sensitive diplomatic matter
42
00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:02,209
to some ox cart driver.
43
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,514
What's up, Colonel?
44
00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:05,473
Major Reddish is here
to award Lieuten--
45
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Uh, if you don't mind,
Colonel, I'd like to tell it.
46
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:13,220
Chong-Wha here has just won
himself a $100,000 reward.
47
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A hundred G's, son.
48
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$100,000 for what?
49
00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:19,182
On April 27,
General Mark Clark,
50
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head of United States
Forces, Far East,
51
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:24,318
offered $50,000 American
to any and all enemy pilots
52
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landing a Soviet-built jet
53
00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:28,322
in good condition
in friendly territory.
54
00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:31,325
Plus an additional 50 big ones
to the one who's first.
55
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:33,979
I think I signed up
on the wrong side.
56
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:35,198
And he also gets a free
trip to the States
57
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,200
plus American citizenship.
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00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:38,680
Way things are going,
59
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,160
soon there'll be a prize
in every hand grenade.
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Major Reddish
is General Clark's
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Assistant Chief
of Public Information.
62
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:46,688
Uh, Colonel, please.
Let me get a word in.
63
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:50,909
Now, then, I can't take credit
for coming up with this idea.
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00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,911
General Clark himself figured
65
00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:56,437
that the war needed a shot
in the propaganda.
66
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,439
You know, it's been
getting harder and harder
67
00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,484
to sell this war
to the folks back home.
68
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:01,833
Well, that's what happens
69
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:03,226
when you spend everything
on weapons
70
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,619
and nothing on advertising.
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00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:06,229
Right.
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00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,797
We figured
just what we needed
73
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,799
was a couple
of good turncoats
74
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:13,758
to get the public
behind us again.
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00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,630
Thanks to Lieutenant
Chong-Wha here,
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00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,371
[clicks tongue] we got it.
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[clicks tongue]
Thank God.
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00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:22,637
Hi, ladies. Allow me
to introduce myself.
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I'm Hawkeye Pierce.
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Pleased to meet you,
Capitaine.
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00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,510
Oh, you're French.
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I've been wearing
your cuffs for years.
83
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,600
Oh, Pierce.
84
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:30,819
There's nothing like
the way a French accent
85
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,299
fits into an American ear.
86
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,648
It's Ladies' Night.
87
00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:35,867
Well, I know
when I'm not wanted.
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00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:38,305
What does it take for you
to get the message?
89
00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:40,089
Well, looks like you have
the crucial vote.
90
00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,482
[speaking French]
91
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:42,874
But after all,
we are talking.
92
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,093
Please excuse us.
93
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:45,747
Okay, okay.
Fine. Fine. Fine.
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00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,270
But if you're gonna change
your mind, you better hurry.
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Offer expires
midnight Saturday.
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00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,233
This Hawkeye,
he is a doctor?
97
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,843
Mmm. A lot of people
around here
98
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:57,193
find him irresistible,
including himself.
99
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,847
[laughing]
100
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,023
He acts very much
a little boy, doesn't he?
101
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,330
Oh, believe me.
He's not acting.
102
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,114
You know what's wrong
with this war?
103
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:07,116
Yeah. The French
aren't on my side.
104
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:08,639
Not enough heroes.
105
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:12,295
But Chong-Wha's gonna
take care of that.
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00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:15,080
For $100,000 plus
transportation.
107
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:17,039
Charles, did you realize
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00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:18,693
that for only
a few thousand dollars
109
00:04:18,736 --> 00:04:21,348
your father could sponsor
a Korean deserter?
110
00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:24,133
Yeah. Yeah. If you
gentlemen will excuse me.
111
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:25,961
You're wasting
your time, Charles.
112
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Take it from someone who's
met the French "resistance."
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[chuckle] Pierce.
114
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:31,967
Good evening.
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00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,447
Hello, Major.
Please sit here.
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Ah. Thank you.
117
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Hmm-hmm.
118
00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:38,408
What did he try
that I didn't?
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Maybe sincerity.
120
00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:41,455
Sincerity.
121
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,239
I could fake that.
122
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,197
So you like
the museums of Paris.
123
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:46,808
Yes. Especially
the Jeu De Paume.
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00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,070
Spent half my time there.
125
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:49,593
Incroyable, n'est-ce pas?
126
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,116
I much prefer it
to the Louvre.
127
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,988
I love the impressionists.
128
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:54,946
[speaking French]
129
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Excuse me. W-What was that?
I didn't understand that.
130
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,604
Oh, I say it is a
It is a nice place
131
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,084
to go when one
is in love.
132
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:03,259
Oh.
133
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:08,656
You know, when I
was 7 years old,
134
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,745
my father was stationed
in Fort Bliss.
135
00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:13,051
That's in Texas.
136
00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:19,362
And my mother used to take me
to the art museum in El Paso.
137
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,756
Eh, how cultural.
138
00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,803
When I realized that I was
actually looking
139
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:28,502
at Monet's "Peace Beneath
the Lilac Trees"--
140
00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:32,332
the real thing,
not some processed print
in an art book--
141
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,247
I was overwhelmed.
142
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,817
I hate to break this up,
but I really have to go.
143
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,863
Oh. I'm so sorry, Major.
144
00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:43,560
I'm afraid
I have been impolite.
145
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:46,520
It's okay. No problem.
Good night.
146
00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:51,002
I hope she's not mad
with me, Major Houligan.
147
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:53,396
[chuckles]
It's Houlihan,
148
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,965
and how could anyone
be angry with you?
149
00:05:57,008 --> 00:06:00,055
-Major.
-Please. Uh...
150
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,970
Call me Charles.
[French pronunciation]
151
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:06,235
Charles, let me tell you
of one experience
152
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,932
that was even more
memorable for me.
153
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:09,281
-Yes?
-Mm-hmm.
154
00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:11,153
It was soon after the war,
155
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:14,722
and Paris was once again
the City of Light.
156
00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:17,246
Some friends and I decided
to treat the occasion
157
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,030
with the grandeur
it deserved.
158
00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:22,730
We got dressed as elegantly
as we were able,
159
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,950
and we hired a carriage
to take us to the concert.
160
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:29,737
[chuckle] And this tribute
was inspired by who,
161
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,260
uh, Toscanini?
162
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:33,958
Uh...Heifetz?
163
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:37,135
-No. Spike Jones.
-Spike Jones?
164
00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:40,400
Charles, Spike,
he makes me laugh. He's fun.
165
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,271
Surely there must be
some silliness
166
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:43,403
that makes you laugh.
167
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:44,447
-No.
-No.
168
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:50,453
Are you familiar
with Tom and Jerry?
169
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,324
The cat and mouse
in the cartoon?
170
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:53,456
Yeah.
171
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,197
It just-- [laughs]--
172
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,634
It just kills me when Tom
173
00:06:57,678 --> 00:07:00,637
runs right off a kitchen
table but doesn't fall.
174
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,204
So he just hangs there
in midair,
175
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:04,162
his little feet
going furiously.
176
00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,816
And then he looks down,
and suddenly--
177
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,470
[imitating fall and crash]
178
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,080
[both laughing]
179
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:11,953
Don't you dare tell a soul.
180
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,042
[laughing]
181
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:18,394
Good heavens,
we have talked all night.
182
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,483
I'm due in post-op
in half an hour.
183
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,485
Oh, mon chou,
Where did the time go?
184
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:23,834
You will be so tired.
185
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,009
Oh, no. Quite the contrary.
186
00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:27,577
I feel quite refreshed.
187
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,144
Well, he wasn't
in his bed all night,
188
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:30,711
so where else
could he have been?
189
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,540
Come now, Hawkeye.
Let's not jump
to conclusions.
190
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,847
[no audible dialogue]
191
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,632
On the other hand...
192
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:39,981
Don't worry, Father.
I'm sure
193
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:41,199
there's a perfectly
sordid explanation
194
00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:42,374
for all this.
195
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:43,680
That joie de vivre of hers
196
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:46,509
might be just the thing
to oil his hinges.
197
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:50,382
Your translator is here, sir.
This is Joon-Sung Yu.
198
00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:53,037
-Well, it's about time.
-Put her there, Major.
199
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,345
And so, on behalf
of Mark Clark,
200
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:59,870
you will be awarded $100,000
and U.S. citizenship.
201
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,395
Oh. [speaking Korean]
202
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:11,403
[speaking Korean]
203
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,410
Mark Clark
[Korean]
204
00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:22,023
He says this is a mistake.
205
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,329
He had engine trouble,
thought he was in the north,
206
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:26,636
and put his MIG down
on the first road he saw.
207
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,421
He wasn't trying to be a hero.
He was trying to,
208
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:32,686
as I believe you would say,
to to save his fanny.
209
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,818
That's close to the way
we'd say it, yeah.
210
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,907
He says he wants to go home.
211
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:39,736
Never heard of Mark Clark.
And you can keep your money.
212
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,303
This is a disaster.
213
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,437
This is the biggest P.R.
project of the whole war,
214
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:46,961
and it's slipping
through my fingers.
215
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:48,223
I don't believe this.
216
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:49,572
Yesterday
he was shooting at us.
217
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:50,965
Now you're offering him
a fortune
218
00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:52,488
-to go to the States.
-What about all our guys
219
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,098
who'd be thrilled to go
home for nothing?
220
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,884
Tell the ungrateful fool
he can forget about home.
221
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,277
He either goes to the States,
or he's a prisoner of war.
222
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:02,585
[speaking Korean]
223
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,677
[speaking Korean]
224
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:14,118
He says if those
are his choices,
225
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:16,860
he prefers to become
a prisoner of war.
226
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,561
-Bonjour.
-It's bonsoirnow.
227
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:24,172
Ah, yes, indeed.
You're-- You're right.
228
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:27,915
-Uh, these are for you.
-Merci.
229
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:30,352
-They are quite, um...
-Scraggly?
230
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:32,093
Oui.But lovely scraggly.
231
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,573
They're the nicest
I could find
232
00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:36,271
without actually going
into the minefield.
233
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:37,620
They'll look
a great deal better
234
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,317
if you would share this
with me.
235
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,058
Chateau Petrus? Formidable.
236
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:42,973
-Yes? May I--
-Mm-hmm.
237
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:46,411
Direct from the Pomerol,
via Geller Brothers' Liquors
238
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:48,588
on Commonwealth Avenue
in Boston.
239
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,807
Uh...
240
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,722
-Voilà.
-[giggles]
241
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:55,943
Uh, Martine...
242
00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,642
there's something
I want to say to you,
243
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:02,514
and I'm afraid
I don't, um...
244
00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:06,344
quite know how to do it.
245
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,390
You could try looking at me.
246
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:12,002
This may sound strange,
247
00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:14,526
since you've only
been here a few days.
248
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:18,095
Nevertheless,
in that time,
249
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,358
I've come to feel
250
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:24,536
as much for you as any
woman I've ever met.
251
00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:28,540
Here.
252
00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:32,196
Merci.
253
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,720
To, um...
254
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:36,592
to you.
255
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:39,421
To us.
256
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,560
Charles, I--
I know your feeling
257
00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:50,388
because I have not felt
that close to a man
258
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,607
for more than a year.
259
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,391
That's when Robert died.
260
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:56,351
Oh. I see.
261
00:10:56,394 --> 00:11:00,398
We were four years together
on the Boulevard Montparnasse
262
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:01,791
from the day he carried me
263
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,880
over the threshold
of our apartment
264
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,577
until the end came.
265
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:08,145
I'm so sorry.
266
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,234
Oh, ça va.
267
00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:13,063
The memories are still alive.
268
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:15,413
But I was thinking
269
00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:18,503
I would not feel
that close to a man again.
270
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,985
But now I know you.
271
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,120
I think, perhaps,
it is possible.
272
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,052
Ahem.
273
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,662
Excuse me, nurse.
274
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,447
Uh, I know it's early
for visiting hours.
275
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,885
I--I was wondering
if I could, uh,
276
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,844
talk to, uh,
Lieutenant Chong-Wha.
277
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,803
Mm, I really
don't think so.
278
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,979
Ah. Oh, by the way,
279
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,764
I--I thought you might
appreciate these.
280
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:04,158
Wow. Silk.
Thank you, sir.
281
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:09,032
[fingers snap]
282
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,130
Morning.
283
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:21,741
Chong-Wha,
284
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:26,006
all this fine American
merchandise is for you.
285
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,704
-[speaking Korean]
-Philco portable.
286
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,532
Simulated leather case.
287
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,447
Eversharp Schick
pen and pencil set
288
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,579
with retractable
ballpoint pen.
289
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:36,407
-[continues in Korean]
-Electric razor.
290
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,192
Settings for
any type of beard.
291
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:40,585
This handsome
pinstripe suit
292
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,805
with two--
two pair of pants.
293
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,765
[speaking Korean]
294
00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:50,857
Lieutenant appreciates
your generosity,
295
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:53,555
but he still wants to
remain in his own country.
296
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,252
Major.
297
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:57,080
This patient's chart
doesn't call for bribes
298
00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:58,821
-at 6:00 in the morning.
-Captain,
299
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,171
I got permission from your
nurse to come in here.
300
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:04,435
Well, the stockings didn't
quite fit my conscience. Here.
301
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,524
Now leave him alone.
302
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,265
Why are you guys
so damn gung ho
303
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,093
to take
this Commie's side?
304
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,704
Don't you see
what a sham this is?
305
00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:14,358
You're trying to package
this whole war
306
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:15,664
like a box
of cornflakes.
307
00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:17,361
Keep it going with
the old hard sell.
308
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:19,929
Push, pull, click, click.
Change sides that quick.
309
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,323
You really want a guy leading
a parade down Broadway
310
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,064
with his arm twisted
behind his back?
311
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:27,589
Look, fellas. I'd like
to have a hero who loves us.
312
00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:29,460
That was my first choice.
313
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:32,289
But if I have to, I'll
settle for one who hates us.
314
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,814
Who the hell's gonna
know the difference anyway?
315
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:37,164
The jerk doesn't even
speak the language.
316
00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:38,513
We're gonna know
the difference.
317
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:39,949
And since we're his doctors,
318
00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:41,124
we're not releasing him
until he's ready.
319
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,560
I'm due at H.Q.
320
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,301
to brief General Clark
on this situation.
321
00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,129
When I get back, I'm bringing
his personal physician
322
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:47,914
to authorize Lieutenant
Chong-Wha's release.
323
00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:49,306
So you just stay here.
324
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,699
And you two,
325
00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:52,657
take real good care
of our boy.
326
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,660
6:15 in the morning.
327
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:58,359
I'm not usually this upset
till 9:00 or 10:00.
328
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,187
What do you say
we get some coffee?
329
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:01,449
Yeah. You want
some coffee? Come on.
330
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,190
Thank you.
331
00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:04,539
It's a nice break for you
332
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,410
to get away from Reddish
for a while.
333
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:08,935
It isn't easy shoveling
manure in two languages.
334
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:11,154
I don't think Major Reddish
is such a bad man.
335
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:13,330
What he's offering
the lieutenant
is a better life.
336
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,332
Maybe, but he doesn't
seem to think so.
337
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:16,986
Sometimes a person
can look at a good thing
338
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,553
and doesn't even know it.
339
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:21,164
I was saying that
to a nurse just last night.
340
00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:23,514
Do you know,
341
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,255
I was once in a painting
very much like this.
342
00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:27,301
-You were? Really?
-Mm-hmm.
343
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:28,911
I had a friend-- Phillipe.
344
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:31,044
He was an artist.
345
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:34,351
One day we went
to the countryside
near Honfleur,
346
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:35,918
and I posed for a painting
347
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:39,095
which he called, uh--
[speaking French]
348
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:41,793
[mutters]
What does that mean?
349
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:43,665
"Nude at the Picnic."
350
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,449
-Ah.
-Mm.
351
00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:48,278
You posed nude?
352
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:50,019
[giggles]
353
00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:52,195
Wonderfully French of you.
354
00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:54,502
I had a wonderful time
with that painting.
355
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:57,418
Phillipe, he owed
quite a bit of money
356
00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:59,463
at a bistro
on the Boulevard Saint-Michel.
357
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:02,727
To pay it back,
he gave them the painting.
358
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:04,904
I used to enjoy
359
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:07,210
eating at the table
underneath the painting,
360
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,734
and-- and I
would watch the people
361
00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:14,304
look from the painting to me,
and then back again. [laughs]
362
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,611
Didn't your husband
mind your posing nude?
363
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,526
Or was this before
you were married?
364
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:20,745
I was never married.
365
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:21,964
[laughs]
366
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:24,097
And even if Robert
was my husband,
367
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,402
he would not mind.
368
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,970
You weren't married. Uh,
369
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:30,190
I understood you to say
that you shared an apartment.
370
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,801
Yes. But I don't want
to talk about Robert.
371
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,977
It still makes me sad.
372
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,806
And this is a time
for happiness, huh?
373
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,417
When the war is finished,
374
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,332
I would like to come
to your country.
375
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:45,031
It would be so nice
to meet your family--
376
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:48,599
your sister,
your father and mother.
377
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:51,776
This seat taken?
378
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,213
Uh, no.
379
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:55,084
Uh, garcon,
a whiskey and water.
380
00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:56,738
How 'bout a refill,
Winchester?
381
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,218
No, I'm fine. Thank you.
382
00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,741
What's the matter?
383
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:01,482
Your lady friend busy
Red Crossing tonight?
384
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:04,528
Uh, yeah. Yes.
385
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:05,834
I can understand
386
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:07,662
your attraction
for mademoiselles.
387
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,839
I knew my share back
in the first World War.
388
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:13,407
'Course, that was P.M.--
pre-Mildred.
389
00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:17,977
One I'll never forget
was Danielle.
390
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,805
She was an older woman
of 20.
391
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:23,808
She worked in
the boulangerie in Soissons.
392
00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:25,723
She was very sophisticated.
393
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,029
At least I thought she was
394
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,379
because she could
pronounce "boulangerie."
395
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:33,035
We spent the better part
of the Battle of the Marne
396
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:36,386
hanging on to one another
behind the bread racks.
397
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:40,042
Wonderful woman.
Made me feel safe.
398
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:42,871
To this day,
Mildred can't understand
399
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:44,481
why I get misty-eyed
400
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,657
every time I crack open
French bread.
401
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,137
Can't understand it.
402
00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:52,533
Well,
hello, little lady.
403
00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:54,578
Say, did you ever
find yourself
404
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,276
in the town of Soissons?
405
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:57,625
Uh, yes. Why do you ask?
406
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,801
Oh, you remind me
407
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,281
of an old friend from there.
408
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:02,934
How nice.
409
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:05,937
-Well, sit down.
-Thank you.
410
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,287
Uh...
411
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:14,424
I guess you finished
your chores all right, huh?
412
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:16,078
I was not working.
413
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:17,340
I was waiting for a friend
414
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:19,038
who was supposed
to come visit.
415
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:22,215
I'm very sorry, Martine.
I'm not feeling very well.
416
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,913
I thought I'd stop in for
a drink before I go to bed.
417
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,262
Might help me sleep.
418
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,090
Oh, that's too bad.
419
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:30,484
Well, it's nothing
very serious.
420
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:32,790
Colonel Potter's
been very nice company.
421
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,705
If you'll excuse me,
please.
422
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:37,056
Oh, Charles,
leaving so soon?
423
00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:39,101
-And so alone?
-Shut up.
424
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,669
If you boys don't
have a better offer,
425
00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:43,627
why don't you
come and join us?
426
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:45,455
Thank you, Colonel.
427
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,979
You don't mind if we sit in?
428
00:17:48,023 --> 00:17:50,721
-Please excuse me.
-Oh, if we're intruding, we--
429
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:52,462
No, no. I would just
like to have a drink.
430
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,116
Stay put. I can get
curb service.
431
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,205
No, thank you.
432
00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:57,467
Is she okay?
433
00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:58,903
Beats me.
434
00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:00,601
So what's the latest
on the tug-of-war
435
00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,559
over the North Korean
pilot?
436
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:05,214
Unfortunately,
Major Reddish is winning.
437
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,564
He's coming back tomorrow
to get Chong-Wha.
438
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:10,915
Too bad. I hate to see
any fellow human being,
439
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:14,136
even the enemy,
in the clutches
of a P.R. man.
440
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,747
You know, uh, I don't
think she's coming back.
441
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:19,446
If Winchester's
giving her the gate,
442
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:20,969
I hope he knows
what he's doing.
443
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:23,319
Sometimes a man can have
an awfully good thing
444
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:24,973
staring him
right in the face
445
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:26,366
and not even know it.
446
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:30,152
You know,
you're the second person
447
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,023
who's said that to me today.
448
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:35,766
Okay, I'll hold.
He's ringing him right now.
449
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,333
Hello, Major Reddish?
450
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,467
Captain Pierce would
like to talk to you.
451
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:43,687
Major? Sorry to bother you
at this late hour.
452
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,036
I just wanted
to congratulate you
453
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,386
as soon as I heard
the news.
454
00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:49,911
Yeah, that's right.
You got yourself a hero.
455
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,174
I don't know how.
456
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,654
Could be the picture
of Rita Hayworth
457
00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:55,873
the guys in post-op
were passing around.
458
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,919
I know she always
makes me want to go home--
459
00:18:57,962 --> 00:19:00,182
to mine or hers.
460
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,793
Huh? Oh, yeah.
461
00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:05,709
How's first thing
in the morning?
462
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:07,363
We'll have him
all ready for you.
463
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:08,973
[knocking]
464
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,367
Yes?
465
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,419
How are you feeling?
466
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:21,856
Fine. Oh, better.
467
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:23,814
Thank you.
468
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:27,078
Charles, have you
a moment to speak?
469
00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:29,516
-Could it wait?
-No.
470
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,561
I must leave tomorrow.
471
00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:34,085
And I would like to know
what has happened between us.
472
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,348
Nothing's happened.
473
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:36,392
Charles.
474
00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,787
Please don't treat me
like a child.
475
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:44,531
I can see that you are
different since the picnic
476
00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:46,837
when we were talking
about the future
477
00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:50,754
and all the wonderful times
we would have together.
478
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:53,148
And now, all of a sudden,
you are very much distant.
479
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,237
There's no sense
getting into this.
480
00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:56,847
What makes no sense
481
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,762
is to finish the kind
of relationship we had
482
00:19:58,806 --> 00:20:00,199
without knowing why.
483
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:04,768
Martine, we are simply
not compatible.
484
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:08,598
When we were alone last night,
we were not compatible?
485
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,863
[whispering]
Yes. We were.
486
00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:14,256
But, uh...
487
00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,608
this isn't Boston.
488
00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:20,741
I don't understand.
489
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:22,264
Martine...
490
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:28,792
my family is very
conventional.
491
00:20:28,836 --> 00:20:32,100
They could never understand
the life you've lived,
492
00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:35,582
your...bohemian way.
493
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,453
They just couldn't accept it.
494
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:41,588
What matters is,
can you accept it?
495
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:46,375
No. I can't.
496
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:48,334
I'm sorry.
497
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:49,770
But no.
498
00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:52,599
And there's nothing I can do.
499
00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:55,863
I can't change who I am.
500
00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,259
Charles,
you make me very sad.
501
00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:05,829
But I am not nearly so sad
for me as I am for you.
502
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:08,832
Me?
503
00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:10,486
You know, I told you earlier
504
00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:13,837
that I was not attracted
to your friend Hawkeye
505
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:17,014
because he was too much
a little boy.
506
00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:18,059
Yes.
507
00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:25,371
I can see now that you are
not enough of one.
508
00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:37,426
Good-bye.
509
00:21:42,126 --> 00:21:44,694
Yeah! Better be
hittin' the road.
510
00:21:44,738 --> 00:21:47,523
I got photographers
waiting at Kimpo
511
00:21:47,567 --> 00:21:49,308
and a press conference
in Tokyo.
512
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:51,527
-All set for you, Major.
-Thank you, Captain.
513
00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:53,921
Lieutenant Chong-Wha's
picture's
514
00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:55,183
gonna be on the front page
515
00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:56,924
of every paper
in the U.S. of A.
516
00:21:57,968 --> 00:21:59,230
Click, click.
517
00:22:06,977 --> 00:22:08,370
What the hell is this?
518
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:09,850
Well, the uniform's
a little big,
519
00:22:09,893 --> 00:22:11,721
-but that can be taken in.
-You were.
520
00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,639
Pierce, where's my man?
521
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:18,293
He's on his way
to a P.O.W. camp.
522
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:19,512
He's got
no business there.
523
00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:21,078
Now damn it,
I want my North Korean.
524
00:22:21,122 --> 00:22:22,993
-What's wrong with him?
-He is a South Korean.
525
00:22:23,037 --> 00:22:25,735
North, South.
Without a program,
it's hard to tell.
526
00:22:25,779 --> 00:22:27,998
Look, this guy wants
to go to the States.
527
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:30,914
I have no family.
I am not a combat soldier,
528
00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:32,263
so the army won't miss me.
529
00:22:32,307 --> 00:22:33,569
You stay out of this.
530
00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:35,832
Joon-Sung
is the perfect hero.
531
00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:38,226
He speaks fluent English,
loves hotdogs,
532
00:22:38,269 --> 00:22:39,793
knows American history
better than we do.
533
00:22:39,836 --> 00:22:41,403
And besides, he's
cute as the dickens.
534
00:22:41,447 --> 00:22:43,100
You don't want some guy
535
00:22:43,144 --> 00:22:44,406
who's gonna be sticking
his tongue out at America.
536
00:22:44,450 --> 00:22:46,016
You want a happy turncoat.
537
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:47,366
Listen, face it, Major.
538
00:22:47,409 --> 00:22:49,933
This man is gonna
be great P.R.
539
00:22:49,977 --> 00:22:52,109
Just run him up the flagpole
and watch them salute.
540
00:22:52,153 --> 00:22:54,416
I refuse to lie.
541
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:57,201
And you call yourself
a P.R. man.
542
00:22:57,245 --> 00:22:59,943
I am a soldier first.
I won't lie without orders.
543
00:22:59,987 --> 00:23:01,989
If you're gonna
start throwing
the truth around,
544
00:23:02,032 --> 00:23:03,643
you'd better hurry.
Don't forget,
545
00:23:03,686 --> 00:23:05,340
you put this story
on the wire last night.
546
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:06,646
John Cameron Swayze
is already
547
00:23:06,689 --> 00:23:07,951
hop-scotching it
around the world.
548
00:23:07,995 --> 00:23:09,997
HAWKEYE:
Hoist by your own P.R.
549
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,347
Are we going to America
or aren't we?
550
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,436
Let's get this show
on the road.
551
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,742
You know...
552
00:23:17,308 --> 00:23:19,354
we might just
blow this by 'em.
553
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,704
Now you're talkin'
your language.
554
00:23:23,532 --> 00:23:25,839
-So long, Doctors.
-Good luck, Joon-Sung.
555
00:23:25,882 --> 00:23:27,318
Don't drink the water
over there.
556
00:23:27,362 --> 00:23:29,495
Thanks for everything!
557
00:23:29,538 --> 00:23:30,974
Ha ha! Good luck.
558
00:23:35,326 --> 00:23:36,806
I think he'll make
a great hero.
559
00:23:36,850 --> 00:23:38,634
Yeah, as long as nobody
asks him to fly a plane.
560
00:23:38,678 --> 00:23:39,722
Uh, yeah.
561
00:23:43,726 --> 00:23:45,162
By now
Joon-Sung's probably
562
00:23:45,206 --> 00:23:46,686
pulling ticker tape
out of his hair.
563
00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:48,252
Yeah. Pretty soon he'll
be eating cheeseburgers,
564
00:23:48,296 --> 00:23:49,602
looking for a split-level,
565
00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:51,342
and cheating
on his income tax.
566
00:23:51,386 --> 00:23:52,909
I feel kind of sorry
for Chong-Wha.
567
00:23:52,953 --> 00:23:54,694
I know it's what he wants,
but a P.O.W. camp
568
00:23:54,737 --> 00:23:56,173
isn't exactly
a day at the beach.
569
00:23:56,217 --> 00:23:57,523
Well, maybe
our going-away gift
570
00:23:57,566 --> 00:23:58,959
will cheer him up a little.
571
00:24:21,285 --> 00:24:22,765
♪♪ [theme]
40969
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