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[theme music playing]
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Suture. Clamp.
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[chatter]
4
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Suture.
5
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Sponge.
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[scoffs]
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Frank, as long as we
have to work together,
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I don't see why
we can't be friends.
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Friends? Don't youdare mention the word"friend" to me,
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you-- you nurse.
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Scissors.
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-Ow!
-Hmm.
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Hey, you two, these publicdisplays of affection
14
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have got to stop.
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[both chuckling]
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I've seen it
happen before.
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Married men go
all to pieces
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when their girlfriends
get engaged.
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Cut.
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It's not losinga girlfriend.
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He's afraid of gettinghis own wife back.
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[chuckles]
Look at this foot.
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Kid's quite
a marksman, isn't he?
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Don't let Frankhear you say that.
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If he finds outthis kid shot himself,
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he'll form a posseand have him lynched.
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Yeah. Suture.
28
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,550
Wonder why they always
go for the foot.
29
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,900
Why didn't he try shooting
himself in the canteen?
30
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Yeah, then they couldwin the Purple Tush.
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Close for me.
32
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Blow it out your ear.
33
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,954
All right, where did youhide the Band-Aids?
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Band-Aids?
Frank, you're working
on an abdominal wound
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00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,436
the size of
the Grand Canyon.
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It's for me, you simp.
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00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,091
She pinched my pinkiewith the scissors.
38
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:16,527
She was getting
even, Frank.
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You've pinched her
plenty of times.
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-Tit for tat.
-Yeah, what's that?
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That? In medical parlance,
we call that a foot.
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-See? It's a matched set.-You know what I mean.
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00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,146
I happen to be an experton foot wounds,
44
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,669
and that looks fishy to me.
45
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I think he hasa fish fetish.
46
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This man shot himself.
47
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No, no, no, no. That'snot what happened, Frank.
48
00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:34,328
-No?
-No, no, no.
49
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,025
See, this is, uh,this is Danny Fitzsimons,
50
00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:38,419
the star placekickerfrom Fordham.
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00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,290
Now, what happenedis an enemy soldier
52
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:42,727
shot at him fromvery close range.
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And instinctively,
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Danny tried to kickthe bullet out of the way.
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It's true.
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00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,169
-You're kidding!
-No.
57
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Well, what about
the enemy soldier?
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00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,041
Ten-yard penalty.
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00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:53,695
For roughing the kicker.
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00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:55,523
Twerps.
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00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:58,221
There's an incoming chopper,sirs. Two wounded.
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Radar,
get him into post-op.
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00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,442
And then gofind Father Mulcahy.
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00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:02,965
I think he oughtahave a little talk
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00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,227
-with our football hero.-Yes, sir.
66
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,014
-Corporal?
-Yes, sir.
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00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:11,103
Does Fordham
have a football team?
68
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:12,888
I don't know, sir. I've beenin post-op all morning.
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Oh.
70
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,219
Take care of my pal first.He's much worse.
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00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,698
We're gonna take
care of everybody.
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00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:43,223
Please go check on him.He saved my life.
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00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,746
Lift him out.
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00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,487
[B.J. chattering]
75
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,055
Notice anything unusual
about this guy?
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00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:52,536
He's out of uniform.He's wearing a fur coat.
77
00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:53,494
I'm glad he's conscious.
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00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:54,582
I'd hate
to have to give him
79
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:55,844
mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation.
80
00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:01,328
-How is he?
-He's fine.
81
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:04,418
He just asked mehow you bust out ofthis chicken outfit.
82
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[knocking]
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00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,301
Come in.
84
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,130
Um, Father--
85
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:22,610
Oh, I'm sorry,
Father.
86
00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,699
No, no.Oh, what is it, Radar?
87
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,048
Uh, Father,
88
00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:27,528
Captain Pierce wants youin the O.R. right away.
89
00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:29,312
He says he has someone
he wants you to talk to.
90
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:30,705
Well, certainly,certainly.
91
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:32,228
It's not for thelast rites, is it?
92
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:33,925
-Uh, no, sir.
-Thank heaven.
93
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:35,492
Oh, uh, Father...
94
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,146
excuse me, would you
happen to know, uh,
95
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:38,974
if Fordham has
a football team?
96
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,454
A darn good one.
97
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:42,369
They don't call themthe Rams for nothing.
98
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,893
I knew
a priest would know.
99
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:47,069
He tried to warn meabout the mine,
100
00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:48,418
but I wasn'tpaying attention.
101
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,986
So he tripped it...saved my life.
102
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,683
I think he's gonna
be all right.
103
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,511
It's mostly the leg,
especially the paw.
104
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,470
Captain, I don't mean
to seem unsympathetic,
105
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,167
but that dog really
shouldn't be in here.
106
00:04:58,167 --> 00:04:59,560
Think of the germs.
107
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,518
You have more germsthan that dog, nurse.
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00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:02,780
I beg your pardon!
109
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I rise in defense
of the lady.
110
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,653
She showers frequently.
111
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,785
I know because
I watch her.
112
00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,265
Pervert.
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00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:10,658
I just meantthat dogs don't have
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00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:12,790
-as many germs as humans.-HAWKEYE: Forget it.
115
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,488
Hawkeye,
there's someone you
want me to talk to?
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00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,403
Yeah, I got kindof an unusual casefor you, Father.
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00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,056
Oh, my.
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00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:19,797
What denomination
is he?
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00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:21,233
HAWKEYE:He's a German shepherd.
120
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,583
I guess that makes hima Lutheran.
121
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,889
Oh, gee.
What happened, fella?
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00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:26,238
It's not the dog,Father.
123
00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:27,501
It's Private Fitzsimonsin post-op.
124
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:28,980
Well, what's the trouble?
125
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Why don't you
just go have a talk
with him, okay?
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00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,375
Certainly.
127
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,423
-Oh, Frank, um...
-Huh?
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00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:37,685
I got a case over here.
129
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,251
It's a little
over my head.
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It's another foot wound.
Since you're the expert,
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-why don't you take it?-Oh, of course.
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Well, you understand,Pierce,
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00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,257
that it's not necessarily
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00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,520
because I'm a bettersurgeon than you.
135
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,695
It's just that,uh, I know my feet.
136
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:48,957
I know.
137
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,524
Uh, listen, I-I, um,
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I think I oughta warn you
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00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,831
that this definitely
is self-inflicted.
140
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,790
-You're sure?
-Positive.
141
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,705
He tripped a land
mine on purpose.
142
00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,054
We have a witness.
143
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:00,098
[sighs]
144
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:02,753
Well, I'm hereas a doctor.
145
00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:04,233
I mean, first we'llget him healthy again,
146
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,322
then, uh,court-martial him.
147
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:07,671
And if all goes well,
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00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,107
put him in frontof a firing squad.
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00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:10,544
-Where is he?
-Right over here.
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00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:15,244
That's a dog!
151
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,507
-Very good, Frank.-I knew he'd get it.
152
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,901
Well, I'm not operating
on any damn dog.
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00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,772
Oh, come on, sir.
You've got to.
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00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,513
After all,
dogs are people, too.
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00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:25,254
Well, I'm not
going to do it,
156
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:26,908
especially because that's
a self-inflicted wound.
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00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,562
He did it to save my life.
158
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:30,259
Well,
that's what he says now.
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00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,174
Look, he might be a dog,
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00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:33,523
but he also happensto be a corporal
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in the United States Army.
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00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,744
See, these two were scheduled
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00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:39,094
to be rotated backto the States any day now.
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00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,574
And it wouldn't lookvery good, Frank,
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if-if-if, uh...What's his name?
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Cupcake.
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00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,535
Really?
168
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:48,016
If Corporal Cupcake nevermade it back to the States
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00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,844
because you wouldn'toperate on him.
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00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,585
Don't forget, Frank,he's a hero.
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00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,151
Yeah, he's scheduledto be awarded
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00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:54,675
the Silver Fire Hydrant.
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00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:57,329
Well, I better scrub.
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00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:04,293
You're gonna be okay,
boy.
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00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,338
An altar boy, my.
176
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:07,601
Where you from?
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00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,211
Philadelphia.
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00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:11,039
Saint Isadore's Parish.
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00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:12,519
Philadelphia!
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00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,608
I was inthe seminary there.
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00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:17,132
You must knowFather Marty Gallagher.
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00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,003
Sure do. He's my pastor.
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00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:22,311
Oh, I studied with him.Oh, what a man.
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00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,226
We used to call him"Boom Boom" Gallagher.
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00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:25,880
So did we.
186
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,534
Father, do you know how hegot his name Boom Boom?
187
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:28,622
No, I don't.
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00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,493
He was a chaplain
in World War II.
189
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,495
He was always way
up at the front.
190
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:33,714
He was so close
to the artillery
191
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,324
that when he
finished a sermon,
192
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,021
the enemy would say "Amen."
193
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:41,417
Yes, he used to tell usstories about the war.
194
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:43,332
But I have to admit,
195
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:46,509
I don't find war quiteas exciting as he did.
196
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,032
Neither do I.
197
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,860
You know, Father Gallagher
198
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,601
would be proud of youright now.
199
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,386
I don't think so.
200
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,431
Oh, why wouldn't he be?
201
00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,128
Because I shot
myself in the foot
202
00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:58,434
to get outta here.
203
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:01,045
Oh, my goodness.
204
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,356
Danny, how old are you?
205
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,880
Eighteen...and a half.
206
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,316
Well, you're young.
207
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,667
You're far from home.You made a mistake.
208
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,538
But we alldo foolish things.
209
00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:16,757
It wasn't foolish.
210
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,585
I'd do it again in a minute.
211
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:21,109
You can't mean that.
212
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,067
Father, you sit around
213
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,939
with your butt in
the mud for weeks,
214
00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:28,290
watching snipers pick offyour buddies one by one.
215
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:29,857
They sneak up at night
in canvas shoes
216
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:31,467
so you can't hear them.
217
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:33,077
One night,
I was in a foxhole
218
00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:34,514
with four other guys.
219
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,819
I snuck out to go
to the latrine,
220
00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,386
and when I got back,
221
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:39,562
all four of them were dead.
222
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:42,783
I couldn't take it anymore.
223
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:47,135
Danny, I'm sureit's rough out there.
224
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:49,485
I-I imagineit's very difficult,
225
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,400
-but--
-You imagine?
226
00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:54,490
Father, haven't you
ever been up there?
227
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,972
-No.
-Not even once?
228
00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,322
You've never been up there,not even for a little while?
229
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,151
Well...
230
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:05,719
I've wanted to go...
231
00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:07,503
but...
232
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,331
I-I'm not allowed.
233
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,333
[sighs] Boy,
234
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,205
if Boom Boom
could see us now.
235
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,033
He'd wonder
where he went wrong.
236
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,775
Well, let's nottalk about Boom Boom.
237
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,516
Let's talk about you.
238
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,084
Tell me about it.
239
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,172
I know it's rough.
240
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,826
Father, with
all due respect,
241
00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:27,654
we don't haveanything to talk about.
242
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,046
Let's face it,
243
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,787
you have no ideawhat it's like up there.
244
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,924
Whoops! Missed again.
245
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:39,013
I have the same troublemyself, sir.
246
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:41,450
Well, at least my cheekswon't be bloodshot.
247
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:42,625
If these drops of yours work,
248
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,627
I'll get you
a field promotion.
249
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:48,196
Sir, I know we've talkedabout this before,
250
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:51,982
but I want you to understandhow useless I feel here.
251
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:55,290
Why, the men don't needmy words of comfort
252
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:57,509
when they're safeand being taken care of.
253
00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:59,120
They need comfort up there,
254
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,731
where they're wet and cold
and facing bullets.
255
00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:03,864
Father, you've gotthe toughest job in camp,
256
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,474
and there's
not much glory in it
257
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:07,607
like there is forthe surgeons and the nurses.
258
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,131
But you're the one who really
holds things together.
259
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:12,176
You should be proud.
260
00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:14,744
Colonel, I had
a seminary teacher
261
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:17,355
who was a chaplain
in World War II--
262
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:18,748
Father Marty Gallagher.
263
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,315
Boom Boom Gallagher?
264
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,491
Oh, my, you knew him?
265
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:24,754
No. Heard about him.
266
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:27,539
He was famousfor the poker gameshe used to organize
267
00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:29,759
whenever the Germanartillery took a break.
268
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,153
Colonel, Boom Boom
used to excite us
with his stories
269
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:33,937
about being right up
front with the men,
270
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:35,765
and that's
where I want to be.
271
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,506
Father, this is
a different war.
272
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:40,074
Line officers don't wantchaplains up at the front.
273
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:41,684
It's just another unarmed man
274
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,468
they have to be
responsible for.
275
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:46,210
Whoops!Got the ear that time.
276
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,734
Yeah, right. We don'thave any choppers,
277
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,649
and you don't haveany ambulances.
278
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,476
Now, if we could just runout of wounded soldiers,
279
00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:53,609
we wouldn't have to bein business at all.
280
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,178
All right. Look,
281
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:58,832
I'll send a litter jeepright up there, okay?
282
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:01,965
All right. Yeah, okay.
283
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,228
[sighs]
284
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,100
-Radar.
-Yeah.
285
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:08,885
They got a guy upat the aid stationwho needs surgery.
286
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,234
Do you think you and Igorcould grab a jeep
287
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:11,975
-and go get him?
-What do you mean?
288
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,890
Go up to the aid
station where all
the shooting is?
289
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:15,283
A man's lifedepends on it.
290
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,198
Well, I know, but I got
all this work here.
291
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,156
Colonel Potter
expects me to--
292
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,592
-Okay. I'll do it.
-Okay. Thanks.
293
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:22,203
I gotta go back to O.R.
294
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,770
[sighs]
295
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,859
Hey, how's the dog doin'--Corporal Cupcake?
296
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:27,251
Oh, he's gonna be fine.
297
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:30,080
He's got a pleasantlittle snarl on his face.
298
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,430
You don't
belong up there.
299
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:34,650
You belong right here.
We need you.
300
00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:41,091
Sir? Oh, pardon me.
301
00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:42,440
Uh, what is it, Radar?
302
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,007
Uh, sir, there'ssomeone badly wounded
303
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,443
up at the aid station.
304
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:47,358
Your permission for Igorand me to go get him?
305
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:50,231
All right, Radar,go ahead. But be careful.
306
00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:51,711
Oh, yes, sir.
307
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,800
I'm sorry I interruptedyour service, Father.
308
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,888
Hmm?
309
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,106
You're doing a fine job,
310
00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:57,673
but try to understand.
311
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,196
You're a chaplain,not a soldier.
312
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:01,633
Well, I think I'm
a soldier too, sir.
313
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,418
I certainly
look like one.
314
00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:06,203
I once saw a pictureof Calvin Coolidgein a war bonnet,
315
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,639
but that didn'tmake him an Indian.
316
00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:09,467
Sorry, Father.
317
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:10,773
Yes, sir.
318
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:12,079
B.J.: Father.
319
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,691
Father Mulcahy,is anything wrong?
320
00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:19,129
You have a very determinedlook on your face.
321
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:20,261
Do I?
322
00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:21,784
Well, I don't mean to.
323
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,351
Is there somethingI can do for you?
324
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:26,615
No. No. I-I guess I'll
have to do for myself.
325
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:28,530
-Thank you.
-Sure.
326
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,882
Come on, Igor.
We gotta get rolling.
327
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,712
Igor, you stay here.I'll go with Radar.
328
00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:39,759
Uh, Father, you
gotta get permission.
329
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,456
I only got orders
for Igor and me.
330
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:43,023
I'll be responsible, Radar.
331
00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:45,068
There's a wounded man,
and he needs a priest.
332
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,722
-Here. Take my helmet.-Yeah.
333
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:48,724
Father, you're gonna get
both of us in trouble.
334
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,334
Radar, you play poker,right?
335
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:53,120
-Not now, Father.
-No, no, no, no.
336
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,383
A very wise priestonce said,
337
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,080
"No matterhow well you bluff,
338
00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,127
"eventually you haveto put your cards onthe table."
339
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:01,998
-I can't argue with that.-[engine starts]
340
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:04,348
'Cause I don't
know what you're
talking about.
341
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,267
Okay, take it away.
342
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:12,400
[explosions in distance]
343
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,229
Easy now.
344
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:17,535
That's good. Okay.
345
00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:19,973
-Yeah, just sign here.
-Yeah.
346
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,801
You know, you guysare lifesavers.
347
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,280
I don't knowhow long he'd lastwithout surgery.
348
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,586
That's a badchest wound.
349
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,762
[explosion]
350
00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:29,286
No use, Padre.Every once in a while,
351
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,201
the Chinese let us knowthat they invented gunpowder.
352
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:33,508
How in heaven'sname do you everget used to it?
353
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:35,771
You get used to nevergetting used to it.
354
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:37,729
I wish he were conscious.
355
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,340
I'd like to offersome comfort.
356
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,907
Being unconsciousis as comfortable
357
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:42,430
as you can get up here,Padre.
358
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,867
Do you ever get any
wounded dogs up here?
359
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,087
Nah. They're too smartto get wounded.
360
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,479
They just point outwhere the Chinese are,
361
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:49,785
they step aside.
362
00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,091
They're kindalike generals.
363
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,440
Radar, we'd better
get underway.
364
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,094
-This man needs attention.-Right.
365
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,358
-Well, wait a minute.
-What?
366
00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:59,012
We had a goat uphere once, though.
367
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,883
Very seriousshrapnel wounds.
368
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,885
Oh, wow.
What'd you do?
369
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,365
We ate 'im.
370
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:26,039
How's he doing, Father?
371
00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:28,084
He seems okay.
372
00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:29,651
Radar,I want to thank you
373
00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:31,087
for bringing mealong on this.
374
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,828
I really neededthe experience.
375
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,264
That's okay, Father.
376
00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:35,787
Sometimes
it's more important
377
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,093
to be nice to people
378
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,573
than to worry about
the rules, you know.
379
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:40,662
Geez, I remember
once in school,
380
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:42,490
we were having this test,
you know,
381
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,579
and there was this boy
Leonard Gerst.
382
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:46,276
He wanted to, you know,
copy off of me.
383
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,669
Ah.
384
00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:49,105
And I knew his mother
would beat him up,
385
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,585
uh, if he flunked
the test,
386
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:51,934
so I let him copy.
387
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,675
That was a very nicething to do, Radar.
388
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:56,156
-Also, he gave me $3.00.-[laughing]
389
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,466
I'll have a cafe espresso
390
00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:04,425
and for my friend herea cappuccino deluxe.
391
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,079
-Help yourself.
-Ah.
392
00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:07,732
We also have a special today
393
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:10,474
on roast crown of lamb
with cranberry stuffing,
394
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:11,911
served with a side order
395
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,869
of fresh poached salmon
and dill sauce.
396
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,827
No, thanks. I had thatfor breakfast.
397
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:18,265
This is terrible,
even by my standards.
398
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:20,049
And this from a manwho drinks lime Kool-Aid
399
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,790
with stripsof bologna in it.
400
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:25,446
Klinger, have you
seen Father Mulcahy?
401
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,448
No, sir, I haven't
seen him all day.
402
00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,102
But if it's
a spiritual problem,
403
00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:30,973
give me a minute, and I'll
come back as a nun.
404
00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:33,541
Careful, Klinger. Dressingas a nun can be habit-forming.
405
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,588
It isn't a spiritual problem.It's physical--
406
00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:39,677
-a hole in the foot.
-Spare me.
407
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:41,853
Some guys shootthemselves in the footto get sent back home.
408
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:44,856
Not me!
I'd ruin a perfectly
good pair of nylons.
409
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,598
Say, Pierce-- Butt out.
410
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:50,993
I checked on
that Fitzsimons kid,
411
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:52,516
and he couldn't
have played football
for Fordham.
412
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:53,822
He's only 18.
413
00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:55,476
He entered whenhe was 16, Frank.
414
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,478
Got lucky. He went thereon a bingo scholarship.
415
00:15:57,478 --> 00:16:00,089
Oh, those Catholics.
[chuckling]
416
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:02,222
-How's Corporal Cupcake?-Who?
417
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:04,789
The pooch. Woof! Woof!
418
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:07,009
Oh, him.
Resting comfortably.
419
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,663
He'll be backon his paws in no time.
420
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:10,447
Oh, what a humiliating
experience.
421
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,101
I mean, no surgeon withan ounce of self-respect
422
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,973
would operate on a dog.
423
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,366
Frank, you know some vetsearn more money than doctors.
424
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:17,846
-Oh?
-Sure.
425
00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,239
Better get his address.
426
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:20,501
Put him on
my Christmas card list.
427
00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:21,981
-Mmm, couldn't hurt.
-Oh!
428
00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:30,946
You know, you reallydon't get used to it.
429
00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:34,732
-Radar! Radar, pull over!-Huh?
430
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:36,212
Stop the jeep!He's choking!
431
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,171
There's something wrong!Oh, God, pull over!
432
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:40,390
I am. Wait a minute! Where?
433
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,962
-What's the matter?
-Help me.
434
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:48,355
-Help me to clear his throat.-Ooh!
435
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:49,486
[soldier gasping]
436
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,359
It isn't working.
437
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:54,187
Well, maybe there'ssomething stuck downthere, Father.
438
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:55,710
[soldier choking]
439
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,320
His tongue is swollen.
440
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,235
It's blocking the passage.
441
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:01,281
Oh! He's not breathing!
442
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,934
He's not breathing at all!
443
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:05,850
Radar, call the base.
Get one of the doctors.
444
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:06,938
Right.
445
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:10,681
Hi. This is the litter
jeep, MASH 407--
446
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,901
Litter jeep calling
MASH 4077! Come in!
447
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,424
Come in, anybody!
448
00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:16,470
I'm not just anybody,
but I'll talk.
449
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:17,645
What is it, Radar?
450
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:18,820
Uh, Klinger, it's Radar.
451
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,082
Listen, we're
in trouble here.
452
00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:21,344
Get me a doctor real quick.
453
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:23,607
Gotcha! Captain Pierce,Hunnicutt,
454
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:24,739
Colonel Potter, emergency!
455
00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:25,870
What? What?
456
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,089
The radio, sir.It's Radar.
457
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,482
Put it on the speaker.
458
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,092
What's the problem, Radar?
459
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,920
The guy we're bringing
back can't breathe.
460
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,878
Father Mulcahy says
his tongue is swollen up.
461
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,967
What's Mulcahydoin' there?
462
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,186
This is Father Mulcahy.
463
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:38,666
I know I'm not
supposed to be here,
464
00:17:38,666 --> 00:17:40,015
but we've got a man
in bad trouble.
465
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,103
He needs help!
466
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:42,452
Father, where's
the man wounded?
467
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:43,801
Well, in the chest, Hawkeye,
468
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,586
but I don't think
that's the trouble.
469
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:47,718
His tongue is swollen,
and he can't breathe.
470
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:49,416
Is he gettingany air at all?
471
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,940
-No, sir. Not much.
-Hardly any at all.
472
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,463
-Tracheotomy.
-Right.
473
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,161
Father, Radar,
listen carefully.
474
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,640
You only have
a couple of minutes.
475
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:57,989
One of you is
gonna have to cut
476
00:17:57,989 --> 00:17:59,208
a small hole
in the man's throat
477
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,514
to let air in.
478
00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:01,950
You mean cut like a doctor?
479
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,995
We'll give youstep-by-step instructions.
480
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:06,433
I'm no good atstep-by-step. You do it.
481
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,130
Hawkeye, do you
think we can?
482
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,784
If you don't,
the man's dead!
483
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:13,048
-Oh, very well. We're ready.-[soldier choking]
484
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:14,876
All right, Father, here we go.
485
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:17,139
First you need somethingto cut with, a sharp knife.
486
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:19,185
-Sharp knife.-You have a first-aid kit.
487
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:21,317
See if there's anythingsharp in there you can use.
488
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:24,625
[soldier groaning]
489
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:25,713
Uh, let's see.
490
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:28,585
Aw, geez, there'snothing in here
491
00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:29,978
but these, uh,funny little scissors
492
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:31,762
they gave usin kindergarten.
493
00:18:31,762 --> 00:18:33,895
Why can't they keepthese things complete?
494
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,288
Don't youhave anything else?
495
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:37,551
I've got my
Tom Mix pocketknife.
496
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:38,900
Tom Mix pocketknife.
497
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:39,901
Your what?
498
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:42,164
"Tom Mix" was
an old radio show.
499
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:43,600
It's very sharp.
500
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,080
Okay, fine.
That's fine. Look,
501
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,126
you need a small tube.When you make the hole,
502
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,562
you're gonna put the tube in,
503
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,172
and the man will
breathe through that.
504
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:51,217
A tube?
505
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:52,392
Part of a syringe
will do
506
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:53,784
if there's one
in the kit.
507
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,177
You could use the topof a fountain pen.
508
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,439
Just snip off one end.
509
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:57,745
Is a pencil okay?
510
00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:59,268
No, it has to be
something hollow.
511
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:00,269
Think!
512
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:01,488
Wait! Wait!
513
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:03,011
-My bottle of eyedrops.-Eyedrops!
514
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:04,273
The dropper
is plastic.
515
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:06,145
I'll just pull
the cap off.
516
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,059
HAWKEYE: Okay, that's kinda small, but that'll do.
517
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:09,974
Now, look, Father, you're gonna have to work fast.
518
00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:11,889
In the first-aid kit,
get the alcohol.
519
00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:14,327
Sterilize the knife
and the man's neck.
520
00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:16,285
Where's the alcohol?Where's the alcohol?
521
00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:21,464
Oh, okay, okay.We're doing it.
522
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:23,510
Okay. Father,
if you're ready,
523
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,730
look for a notch atthe base of his throat.
524
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,689
It's right where
the chest starts.
525
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:29,864
Right in the middle.
526
00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:31,996
-Oh, boy.
-I got it!
527
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:35,130
Good. Now take the knifeand make an incision,
528
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:37,132
a vertical incision
through the skin
529
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:38,873
about two inches long.
530
00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:39,917
There's gonna be
a little blood,
531
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:41,092
but that's okay.
532
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,529
Oh. Oh, sure. Okay.
533
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,575
Oh!
534
00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:50,624
Oh, ick! Oh, he did it!He did it!
535
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:51,886
Good, Father. Very good.
536
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:54,062
Okay, now open thatskin with your fingers,
537
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:55,324
and keep cutting
538
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:56,630
until you see a couple
539
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,458
of little horizontal rings of tissue.
540
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,069
I got it.
541
00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:02,549
He got it.
542
00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:04,203
Okay, now this is it, Father.
543
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,117
That tissue is fibrous.
544
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:07,989
It's not gonna be easy to cut.
545
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:10,165
Make an incision betweenthe rings of tissue,
546
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:12,385
and then stick the tubein the hole you made.
547
00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:13,995
The man will be breathingthrough that tube.
548
00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:15,126
Now work fast.
549
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,998
I have to say
a prayer first.
550
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,217
He's gotta saya prayer first.
551
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,349
Make it a damnshort one.
552
00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:25,180
-I can't think of any.
-Oh, my God.
553
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:26,877
Bless us, O Lord,
and these Thy gifts
554
00:20:26,877 --> 00:20:28,227
which we are about to
receive from Thy bounty
555
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,489
through Christ,
our Lord. Amen.
556
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:30,620
That's grace!
557
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,143
Aah!
558
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:35,756
Don't pay anyattention to the blood.
559
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,018
Just get the tube in there.
560
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,369
[groans]
561
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:44,982
[groans]
562
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:47,768
[gasping]
563
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,728
-He's breathing!
-[gasping]
564
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:54,035
You hear that?He's breathing! He did it!
565
00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:55,819
Okay, tape the tube in place
566
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:56,994
and pack some cotton around it
567
00:20:56,994 --> 00:20:58,082
to stop the bleeding.
568
00:20:58,082 --> 00:20:59,519
You did it!
569
00:20:59,519 --> 00:21:01,042
Oh, the skin
and the tissue
570
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:03,087
seem to close right
in around the tube.
571
00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:05,133
Father, that's exactlywhat's supposed to happen.
572
00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:06,874
You did it!
573
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:08,528
You did it!
574
00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:10,791
-Amen.
-Amen.
575
00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:12,271
Good work, Padre.
576
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,708
Get that man back hereas fast as you can.
577
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:16,623
We did it.
578
00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:18,451
Oh, boy, we did it.
579
00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:22,193
Well, what do youthink of that?
580
00:21:22,193 --> 00:21:24,631
-I think I'm a fool.
-What do you mean?
581
00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:27,634
I came all the way overto Korea to perform surgery.
582
00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:30,593
I could have stayedat home and phoned it in.
583
00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:32,378
Come on. I think
I'd better drive.
584
00:21:32,378 --> 00:21:33,553
Okay.
585
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:35,119
-Radar, you all right?-Oh, yeah. Sure.
586
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:36,512
I'm just a little carsick.
587
00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:41,474
What happenedto the wheel?
588
00:21:42,562 --> 00:21:43,867
Oh!
589
00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,393
Father,let's get outta here!
590
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:50,570
Very well, Radar,
if you insist.
591
00:21:54,574 --> 00:21:56,271
♪[mellow jazz on jukebox] ♪
592
00:21:56,271 --> 00:21:58,055
Now, Father,I thought we had a deal.
593
00:21:58,055 --> 00:22:00,319
We save the bodies.You save the souls.
594
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,059
Oh, my. Well, I hope
595
00:22:02,059 --> 00:22:04,540
I didn't violate
any union regulations.
596
00:22:04,540 --> 00:22:05,715
Hmm.
597
00:22:06,890 --> 00:22:08,414
-Father.
-Hey, Father.
598
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:09,676
Thought you'd like to know
599
00:22:09,676 --> 00:22:11,417
your patient
is doing just fine.
600
00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:13,114
We're all thinking oftrading in our scalpels
601
00:22:13,114 --> 00:22:14,289
for Tom Mix pocketknives.
602
00:22:14,289 --> 00:22:16,204
Padre, I could
swear I told you
603
00:22:16,204 --> 00:22:17,640
not to go up to the front.
604
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,295
Yes, sir. You did, sir.
605
00:22:20,295 --> 00:22:23,429
And in spite of the factthat I saved a man's life,
606
00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:26,562
I now feel I waswrong to disobey you.
607
00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:28,129
Cleverly put.
608
00:22:28,129 --> 00:22:30,827
Boom Boom Gallagher
would be proud of you.
609
00:22:31,915 --> 00:22:34,744
Oh... what a nice thought.
610
00:22:34,744 --> 00:22:36,442
You know, Father,
611
00:22:36,442 --> 00:22:38,879
first time I operated,I was scared stiff.
612
00:22:38,879 --> 00:22:41,360
And there weren't any bombsgoing off around me, either.
613
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,013
I can imagine whatit was like for you.
614
00:22:43,013 --> 00:22:44,841
No, Hawkeye, you can't.
615
00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,103
Why not?
616
00:22:47,496 --> 00:22:49,324
You had to be there.
617
00:22:55,896 --> 00:22:57,201
Hello, Danny.
618
00:22:57,201 --> 00:22:58,986
Hello, Father.
619
00:22:58,986 --> 00:23:01,031
I understand you had
quite an afternoon.
620
00:23:01,031 --> 00:23:03,469
Oh, you heard, did ya?
621
00:23:03,469 --> 00:23:06,515
Yeah. Everybody's
talkin' about it.
622
00:23:06,515 --> 00:23:09,126
You actually cuta hole in a guy's throat.
623
00:23:09,126 --> 00:23:11,128
And under fire, too.
624
00:23:11,128 --> 00:23:12,478
Were you scared?
625
00:23:13,522 --> 00:23:15,829
Terrified.
626
00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:18,092
You know, I-I thinkit gave me a little taste
627
00:23:18,092 --> 00:23:21,530
of what it was like for you.
628
00:23:21,530 --> 00:23:25,839
Danny, maybe it almost givesme the right to talk to you.
629
00:23:25,839 --> 00:23:27,101
What do you think?
630
00:23:27,101 --> 00:23:29,277
Let's talk, Father.
631
00:23:29,277 --> 00:23:32,976
Yes. Why don't we?
632
00:23:41,681 --> 00:23:43,334
Now listen,Seoul is a very big city,
633
00:23:43,334 --> 00:23:45,206
and there are certain femalesyou gotta watch out for.
634
00:23:45,206 --> 00:23:46,729
Sir, you don't have to warnme about stuff like that.
635
00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:48,383
I wasn't talking to you.I was talking to him.
636
00:23:48,383 --> 00:23:50,559
So long, Corporal Cupcake.
637
00:23:50,559 --> 00:23:52,343
It's been a pleasure
serving with you.
638
00:23:52,343 --> 00:23:54,520
Well, taking off, huh?Bye, pooch.
639
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:55,869
[growls, barks]
640
00:23:55,869 --> 00:23:57,653
Oh, nice!If it weren't for me,
641
00:23:57,653 --> 00:23:58,915
you'd be in a wheelchair.
642
00:23:58,915 --> 00:24:00,830
Go ahead, Phil.
643
00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:09,230
You know what's funny?
644
00:24:09,230 --> 00:24:10,927
When Cupcake
gets his promotion,
645
00:24:10,927 --> 00:24:12,494
I'm gonna be outranked
by a dog.
646
00:24:12,494 --> 00:24:13,887
I know how you feel.
647
00:24:13,887 --> 00:24:16,106
I'm only a captain,and Frank is a major.
648
00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:23,853
[theme music playing]
45153
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