All language subtitles for A.Time.to.Die.2023.1080p.WEB.h264_track3_[eng]
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:21,240
We've got the ability
to take people's suffering away
2
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:24,880
in a clinical way,
and it should be my choice.
3
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:36,960
'I would like to be able to
calmly and quietly call it a day.
4
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,560
'I would ideally like to have it
happen at home or in a hospice,'
5
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:46,200
not on the way to an A&E
or waiting for an ambulance.
6
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:57,040
I regarded what we had helped
Mum to do as an act of love,
7
00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:00,440
and I was plunged into
a police investigation.
8
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,360
It's like knowing the date
of, like, a car crash,
9
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,560
when a murderer is gonna
come into your house. It's...
10
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,720
It's unnerving, it's scary.
11
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,040
For disabled people like myself,
it's bad enough as it is now,
12
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:32,160
let alone adding a treatment
called "assisted suicide".
13
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,360
No, thank you.
14
00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,440
DAN: 'If I couldn't make music,
life would be awful.'
15
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,280
There we go.
16
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,560
So, you can see,
the mouse follows my head,
17
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:11,680
and that camera follows a point
on my nose, my big old hooter.
18
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:18,160
You have to be able to click,
which I do by poking out my tongue.
19
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,040
You can see that getting activated.
20
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,040
Raise your eyebrows, drag it around.
21
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,640
And I can drag stuff about, you see?
This is how you compose.
22
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,120
MUSIC STARTS
23
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,320
ELECTRONIC BLIPS
AND PERCUSSION
24
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,960
Intro. Intro.
25
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:50,480
'I was a music teacher for 16 years.
26
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,160
'I'd gone to university,
studied music and English,
27
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,640
'DJ-ing and doing clubs
and stuff like that.
28
00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,760
' '90s raver, basically.'
29
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,200
I'll turn it off now.
30
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,400
MUSIC STOPS
31
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,760
There we go.
32
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,840
Multiple sclerosis,
33
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:14,640
it's your own immune system
attacking your nervous system.
34
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,160
'You'll die from related conditions,
basically.
35
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,920
'So you might not be able
to swallow,
36
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,880
'so you might die of choking.'
37
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:27,880
I have rationalised all this stuff
a long time ago, so...
38
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,480
it's shit, it's a fucker,
but what can you do?
39
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,400
'If I was able-bodied,
40
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,520
'I'd be able to go and drive myself
to Beachy Head,
41
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,160
'throw myself
in the English Channel.
42
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,200
'But I'm not in a position
to do that.'
43
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,280
I wouldn't have done that when I was
able-bodied enough to do it,
44
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,920
cos I haven't got a death wish here.
45
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:14,280
Is it better for my kids to say
goodbye to me in the nearer future,
46
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:18,280
get over the grief,
and get on with their lives...
47
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:24,640
..or to have me kind of there,
ill...
48
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,520
..for possibly years?
49
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,200
And, erm...
50
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,360
Excuse me,
I have to pause occasionally...
51
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,640
so I don't blub.
52
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,080
Trying to get Dignitas,
get the green light from them,
53
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,200
so I can just have that
in my back pocket.
54
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,320
And if the time comes...
55
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,240
..activate it, and...
56
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:09,360
..wait for the final stages
to be sorted out, and then do it.
57
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,920
This is...
Regulates your...
58
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,800
Regulates my bowels.
..bowels.
59
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,680
I have to admit,
I put it to the back of my mind
60
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,680
because I find it really hard...
61
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,040
..to actually believe that
it's actually going to happen.
62
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:32,160
It's a horrible idea,
dying in a Swiss clinic,
63
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,160
but we will support,
64
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,240
and I speak for Frankie, I think,
I'm sure, in this,
65
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,040
what he wants to do.
66
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,120
If he wants to do it, we'll do it.
67
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:46,320
He just doesn't want to be
totally incapacitated.
68
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:51,000
I think he'd rather just, you know,
go at a time of his choosing.
69
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,480
Yeah. We've got mixed feelings.
70
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:57,160
On one hand, we'd...
He'd leave a big hole in our lives
71
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,280
if he wasn't here.
72
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:01,880
On the other hand,
we don't like to see him suffer.
73
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,640
REPORTER: If it got to a point
74
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,320
where he was green-lit
to go to Switzerland,
75
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,360
you would take him?
76
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,560
Yeah.
Yeah.
77
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,360
I don't hesitate.
Yeah.
78
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,160
My Lords, I wonder
if the noble Elder Minister
79
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,840
could comment on
the remarks made to me
80
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,680
by an MS sufferer I know very well.
81
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:25,800
And that is...
82
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:30,960
The remarks were that MS is
a Cinderella service in the NHS.
83
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,160
It does not get
its fair share of resources.
84
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,840
JOHN: If he wants to do it,
85
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:41,120
I mean, I will support him
in any way that I possibly can.
86
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:45,200
And there could be consequences,
legal consequences,
87
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:51,680
er, for me, perhaps in particular,
but... I mean, I'd face up to them.
88
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,320
I'm very anxious about it, really.
89
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,520
Anxious, well, worried.
90
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,480
SHE SIGHS
91
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:12,120
DI: 'We started to go out together
in 1976.
92
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,040
'I was 18, he was 21.'
93
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,120
We worked in the same office.
94
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:27,720
'And we got married four years later
in 1980.
95
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:33,640
'We didn't have any children,
but we have travelled extensively.'
96
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,920
Trevor was very keen
to learn to scuba-dive,
97
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:42,280
so we qualified in 1991.
98
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,400
The thought of being on my own
after he's gone is quite tough,
99
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,840
cos I've never lived on my own.
100
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:06,040
And I think this is what Trevor
finds most upsetting,
101
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,440
and why he's getting emotional.
102
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,440
It's not about
what's going to happen to him,
103
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:14,440
it's about leaving me behind
on my own.
104
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,400
Erm...
SHE SOBS
105
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:21,040
He used to talk about if you could
only ever eat one fruit,
106
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,680
what would it be?
107
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:26,120
And we'd have a discussion about
what would be our favourite fruit
108
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,640
and the one you would want,
and he can't eat anything.
109
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:33,920
It's not just a matter of not fruit
or whatever, it's...
110
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,760
It's so hard when you've been
really interested in food
111
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:44,760
and cooking your whole life,
to not be able to eat anything,
112
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:48,000
and everything goes through
a feeding tube.
113
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:56,040
This is a suction machine,
or aspirator,
114
00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:01,600
and it helps to remove the saliva
from his mouth.
115
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,840
He's unable to swallow at all,
116
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:08,120
but the body still goes on
producing saliva.
117
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,960
So it can choke him.
118
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:15,320
And this one is a ventilator
to help him breathe
119
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,320
when he struggles to get air
in and out.
120
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:27,200
SHE READS ALOUD:
121
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,720
REPORTER: On a scale of one to ten,
122
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:37,520
how would you describe the quality
of your life at the moment?
123
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:42,920
I assume one is very bad...
One is very, very bad.
124
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:53,560
Try and describe for us what
the last six months has been like.
125
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:03,480
REPORTER READS ALOUD:
126
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,640
Yes.
127
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:11,240
'He still heard movement
in his arms and hands,
128
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,680
'so he's been able to bake bread
129
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,560
'for most of our friends
and neighbours,
130
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:20,920
'and that has been his passion
and his happy place.'
131
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,040
And Trevor's told me
he can't bake any more...
132
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,520
He's not baking, no.
133
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:44,360
Are there any painkillers
so that it's not unbearable?
134
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:50,480
READS: "The pain clinic at the
hospital in St Thomas'
135
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,960
"said that the painkillers
don't work for his sort of pain
136
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,040
"because it's neurological pain."
137
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,120
How long could this go on?
138
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:04,520
The life expectancy for this type
of motor neurone disease
139
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:09,560
is six months
to a maximum of three years.
140
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:15,800
So, erm, he's done well
to do two years.
141
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,040
Erm...
142
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,560
I don't think he will make three.
143
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:31,960
We had lots of plans for things we
would do together once we retired.
144
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:38,440
We've been saving all our life
to have a really good retirement
145
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,280
and spend time abroad.
146
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,480
READING:
"We did most things together.
147
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,080
"We ended up working together
148
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,600
"for the brilliant company
she founded."
149
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,880
Oh!
150
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,480
SHE SNIFFS
151
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,520
TEARFULLY: I know.
152
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,720
My experience extends to caring
for several thousand dying patients.
153
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:33,080
Doctors know they can't make
many of the life-or-death judgements
154
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,760
this bill asks.
155
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,960
This is not a job for doctors
already on their knees
156
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,120
after the pandemic.
157
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:44,000
'This is an
extremely complex issue.'
158
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,760
The more that I've thought about it,
159
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:52,520
the more aware I've been
of the dangers of changing the law.
160
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:57,120
You can see a terribly sad situation
161
00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:01,240
and think that the answer
would be to speed up death.
162
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,440
Now, as a legislator,
I have to think,
163
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:10,320
"What is the effect of changing the
law on the whole of our population,
164
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,160
"on the way that we deliver care
and what we do?"
165
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:17,920
And I've seen how people
will be in despair
166
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,640
and cannot believe
things could improve,
167
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,400
are frightened,
their families are frightened,
168
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,960
and yet when get the care
that they need,
169
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:31,560
they will say, "I never believed
I could have lived this well."
170
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:37,280
And how people change and adapt
and do amazingly creative things
171
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,720
in the last - sometimes moments -
of their lives.
172
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,960
I've worked quite closely with lots
of other house-builders locally.
173
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,640
They've looked my plans and
turned them round or gone white -
174
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,800
we've seen all the colour
drain out of their faces.
175
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,040
Now they're starting to build
the internal walls,
176
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,920
we can see where things are going,
so...
177
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,200
we can start planning.
178
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,120
I've already got
the kitchen catalogues, of course.
179
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,640
I'm looking forward to the time
where we can take all this back,
180
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,360
one wheelbarrow at a time,
181
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,360
and put it back on the roof
and get grass down again.
182
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:14,400
That's the plan.
183
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,000
The idea of building this house
184
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,640
is a house that sort of
looks after itself,
185
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,560
it heats itself, it cools itself.
186
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,120
'It is a good way of life
when we see more of Phil,
187
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,000
'and... we have a good family life.
188
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,280
'I love it here.'
189
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,520
Good morning.
190
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,000
You all right?
Mm-hm.
191
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,040
Yeah?
192
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,320
We'll get you to sit up.
193
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,400
I'll get that curtain a little bit.
194
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:04,200
'We are managing my way out of this
life as best as possible.
195
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,440
'There might be periods
where you flatten out,
196
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,720
'stay stable for a while,
but it is a one-way road.
197
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,840
'I don't know what it's like
to be disabled from an injury,
198
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,640
'but I'm clearly disabled.
199
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:20,320
'Can't use my legs and my hands
and most of my arms and other bits.'
200
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,400
OK.
All right?
201
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,600
'But I'm also ill.'
202
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,600
And it is the illness
that is killing me.
203
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:29,400
'Er, breathing,
I can't breathe lying down any more.
204
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,320
'I think the hospital has me
205
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,760
'at part way through
respiratory failure,
206
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,600
'which isn't very cheerful to read.'
207
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,280
All right, you got it?
One pocket... Thank you.
208
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,360
So, Monday, we're going to go
to Leeds. Mm.
209
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,280
Erm, we're gonna get... So,
four of us are going on the train.
210
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,360
You don't wanna get stuck
on the train again.
211
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,320
Yeah, well, that has happened.
What?
212
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,040
We went down to London.
We got into King's Cross,
213
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,080
and we were waiting for the man
with the ramp... Mm.
214
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,080
..and nobody came.
Nobody turned up.
215
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,560
I think our lives look quite normal
from the outside.
216
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,600
I think even... our friends think
217
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,360
we're doing much better
than we probably are, and...
218
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,840
No, our lives behind closed doors
are absolutely NOT normal.
219
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:10,880
They are really...
220
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,040
It's quite traumatic living
with a situation like this.
221
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,840
And... it's not going to get easier.
222
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,080
Right.
223
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,520
On a day like today,
224
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,480
things look quite calm,
and Phil is all right,
225
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,600
but some days,
it's not like that at all.
226
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,400
Can I have some blackberries, then?
227
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,200
'I've been disabled and sick.
228
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,360
'And it was only
when the doctor asked me,
229
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,560
'do I feel more sick
than disabled now...'
230
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:39,800
I don't want that one, though.
231
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,600
Is that a good one?
Yeah.
232
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,120
'..that I suddenly really began
to separate the two.
233
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:49,000
'And I realise now that
it's the illness that's murder.'
234
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,200
Not a great one, no.
You knew that was a bad one.
235
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,680
They're never as nice
as you think they're gonna be.
236
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,240
'You know, being in a wheelchair
is... is not easy either,
237
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,720
'but the real...
the real killer is the illness.'
238
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,320
Told you that was gonna be
a good one.
239
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:05,760
I'm like a prince of blackberries.
Thank you. Mmm. Nice.
240
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:10,240
I would like to be able to calmly
and quietly call it a day.
241
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:18,520
I would ideally like to have
that happen at home or in a hospice.
242
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,040
Not in a general hospital,
not in an A&E,
243
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:24,720
not on the way to an A&E
or waiting for an ambulance.
244
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:28,120
I would like to pick the time...
erm, and go peacefully.
245
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:36,320
Actually, I think I did just feel
a bit of rain then. OK.
246
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,480
HE GROANS
Where are you going?
247
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,720
CHARLOTTE LAUGHS
All right, we're going slowly. Mm.
248
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,680
The former Lord Chancellor
249
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,320
has appealed
to the Justice Secretary
250
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,760
to change the law
on assisted dying
251
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,320
after a Rutland man's appeal
to the High Court was refused.
252
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,640
The Labour peer Charlie Falconer
says Phil Newby from Oakham,
253
00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:00,480
who has motor neurone disease,
has been badly let down.
254
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,240
I think if there was any message
from our court case, it was...
255
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:08,920
and any success, it was that, erm...
the High Court judge
256
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,080
and then the Court of Appeal judges
257
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:15,200
erm... absolutely
and very brusquely threw me out...
258
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,200
..as a signal to politicians
259
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,240
that they'd had enough
of dealing with this stuff,
260
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,240
and it could only be touched
by Parliament.
261
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,560
The thing
that I felt most strongly about
262
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,680
was the response
from the Justice Minister
263
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,040
who basically said that...
264
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,600
..Phil could end his own life
if he wanted to
265
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,000
by just stopping eating
and drinking.
266
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,760
And I was stunned by that.
267
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,800
SHE LAUGHS
That was...
268
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,320
That was...
..a shocking response.
269
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:53,560
My own mother was very strongly
in favour of euthanasia,
270
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,440
and when she was dying,
271
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,800
and we thought
she had six weeks to live,
272
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,760
she was extremely angry with me
that I'd opposed it.
273
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,240
The hospice thought
274
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,960
that she was going to be dead
within a few weeks.
275
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:14,760
She died four years later,
not four to six weeks later.
276
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,200
She went home, er...
from the hospice.
277
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,000
We looked after her at home.
278
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,960
And she made a radio programme
with me
279
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,280
saying how glad she was
that she was still alive
280
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,520
and changed her mind completely
later on.
281
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,880
How's it going, mate? You OK?
Cushty, mate. You sleep all right?
282
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,840
Yeah, good. Good.
283
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,560
Yeah?
Not bad at all.
284
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,040
Cushty. Put the box on, yeah?
285
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,360
The tricky thing with MS
286
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:50,560
is that I don't think he could say
how things are gonna progress.
287
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,360
He did give an example.
288
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:56,520
He gave an example of a woman
who has already passed away
289
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,600
who was in my kind of position.
290
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:02,160
She got a succession
of respiratory infections.
291
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,360
Yeah, pneumonia.
Pneumonias, that sort of thing.
292
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:09,280
Every time she got one, she said,
"Oh, I want to go to Dignitas."
293
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,760
And then she recovered.
294
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,240
And then she said,
"Oh, I don't wanna go anywhere."
295
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,400
Well, perhaps he was thinking...
296
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,840
Well that's exactly why
I'd wanna go to Switzerland.
297
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:21,920
Because last time I was in hospital,
with the respiratory infection,
298
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,400
feeling like shit...
299
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:28,080
I did think, "Listen,
I can't keep going through this.
300
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,080
"I can't keep dragging, you know,
301
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:35,040
"everyone through this every year,
or twice a year."
302
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:38,160
You know, you may well say,
"No, I'm not ready yet."
303
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,240
You know, it could be
quite a long sort of process.
304
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,280
Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
305
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,800
You are heroic in the way
you're coping with it.
306
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,360
No, no, no.
Yes, you are.
307
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,760
Yeah, you are.
Sorry, you're my hero, Dan. Yeah.
308
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,720
To us, your sort of
gradual going downhill
309
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,840
has almost become natural,
you know, but it's not.
310
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,720
It's absolutely horrendous.
311
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,520
Absolutely terrible.
312
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,360
Yeah.
313
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,800
INTERVIEWER: And then, eventually,
you came to England,
314
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,080
and you went to university.
315
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,640
What was university like?
316
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,920
ANDY: I first met Kim in 1991.
317
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,760
Kim was studying chemistry at UMIST,
and I was one of her lecturers.
318
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,600
Kim and I started a relationship
in 1993,
319
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,320
after she had graduated.
320
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,040
And we fell in love straight away.
321
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:14,200
My son Sean and Kim
became very close,
322
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,800
which has continued to this day.
323
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,200
We were married in 1998.
324
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:30,200
In 2003, our son Josh was born.
325
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,160
Joshy, look. This part.
326
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:39,160
It's a present, Joshua, isn't it?
What is it?
327
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,080
Whoopsie!
328
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,960
Bob the Builder!
329
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,920
LAUGHTER
Bob the Builder. Who is this from?
330
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:49,400
It's possibly another tin.
Daddy's so silly.
331
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,120
From Oen and Alan.
332
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,080
In December last year,
333
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:59,040
Kim was diagnosed
with a terrible terminal illness.
334
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:02,320
Progressive supranuclear palsy, PSP.
335
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,240
It's an ultra-rare disease.
336
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:09,560
It is a progressive, degenerative,
neurodegenerative disease.
337
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,640
Many of the brain cells
that are affected by this
338
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,880
are ones that control
balance and movement.
339
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,320
There's a basket case of problems.
340
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:23,400
It's losing someone's self
completely.
341
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,640
And you
can actively see it happening.
342
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:31,040
And, from the way they smile,
the way they talk,
343
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,280
they're not in the same headspace,
and they never will be again,
344
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:38,120
and you've lost someone
who's incredibly dear to you.
345
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,720
And you don't know how much
you're gonna lose each day.
346
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,760
And that's... that's terrifying.
347
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:56,840
Why not?
348
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,680
Of course, everyone is sad.
349
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,680
OK.
350
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,240
You know I will.
351
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,440
Mm-hm.
352
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,680
Mm-hm.
353
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:49,680
SHE SOBS
354
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,960
What is it, sweetheart?
355
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,880
It's OK. Should we get some tissue?
356
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:03,920
Yes, please.
Oh, I'm wearing a tissue here, look.
357
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,000
SHE LAUGHS AND SOBS,
HE INHALES
358
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,320
Thanks, Ruky.
359
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:13,240
'The first thing she said was,
"I want to go to Dignitas." '
360
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,680
And I've tried to be completely
clear and honest with her,
361
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,360
and said, "OK,
but you can say no at any time,
362
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:22,040
"and we've always got the fall-back
of palliative care."
363
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,920
Do you want have a lie down? Yeah.
OK, let's go and do that.
364
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:28,400
And I've tried to be planning that
in parallel, anyway,
365
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,680
because we just don't know
what's gonna happen, right?
366
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,840
INTERVIEWER:
Is there a bit of you that wishes
367
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,320
she would choose that option?
368
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,120
That's a tough question. Erm...
369
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,080
Yes, of course,
but at the same time,
370
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,080
I don't wanna see her suffer,
so...
371
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,720
And if those are her wishes, erm...
372
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,760
it's my responsibility
to help her get there, somehow.
373
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:02,280
I can't see. Here, there.
That one is...
374
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:06,720
'I think, since I started
working with Kim from January,
375
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,880
'her condition has deteriorating.'
376
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:14,160
Kim was lovely, and then,
she used to tell me,
377
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:15,840
"Oh, if I get well,
378
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,840
"the first thing I will do for you,
I'm gonna help you.
379
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,640
"I'm going to do
acupuncture for you,
380
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,280
"I'm going to massage you,"
you know?
381
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,000
She used to tell me all that.
382
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:31,360
And as time goes on,
over the months, she got worse.
383
00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:41,000
I promise you, we'll be OK.
384
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:47,040
I've done one.
I'm sad, Joshy. I'm sad.
385
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:51,560
I'm so sad because my robot
is not here with me any more.
386
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:53,880
Aw. Ahh.
387
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,520
We'll be fine.
You don't need to look after us.
388
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:58,760
We're gonna be fine.
389
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,920
You're going to keep an eye on us,
aren't you, anyway? Hm?
390
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:17,960
INTERVIEWER: How sure are you,
with one being "not very sure"
391
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,640
and ten being "very sure",
that this is how you want to end...
392
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,920
It's not. Come on, pick him up.
Mummy pick you up.
393
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,080
There, Joshy. Smile.
394
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,360
Put that here.
395
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,520
OK?
396
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,760
INTERVIEWER: You're
a religious woman, aren't you?
397
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:07,680
Are you still?
398
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,800
Some religious people would say
that you mustn't go to Switzerland.
399
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:31,120
It's a no-no for me. Erm...
400
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:35,840
Apart from my personal views,
when you talk about religious views,
401
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:37,920
I'm a Muslim.
402
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:42,440
It's forbidden, in Islam,
for you to kill yourself.
403
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,600
It is forbidden.
You can't even think of it.
404
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,760
You're not even allowed
to think of it,
405
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,880
not to talk of, you know,
killing yourself.
406
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,640
And when you do that, in Islam,
407
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,760
it is believed
you are going to hell.
408
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,920
Yeah. Yeah, you're going to hell.
409
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,120
That is it, straight away.
410
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,960
INTERVIEWER: Are you frightened?
411
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:31,200
My mum was a proud, hard-working,
412
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,000
diligent, committed woman.
413
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,320
Married when she was 19.
414
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,440
A wife of nearly 60 years.
415
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:49,320
She was a great mum
to myself and my sister.
416
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:52,120
My mum was very game. She was.
417
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,600
I took her on holiday
to Lanzarote about...
418
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,280
I think it was about five years ago,
419
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,120
and we went on
a catamaran trip one day,
420
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,240
and she had it in her head
421
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,720
that she'd like to go on
the jet skis,
422
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,800
so the minute the guy said
the jet ski was available,
423
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:07,320
her hand was the first one
in the air.
424
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,960
And everything changed
in May of 2019.
425
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,320
She was waiting at the bus stop
in her town
426
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:16,880
where she lived in Yorkshire
427
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,000
to go to her dance class
that afternoon
428
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,360
and she collapsed at the bus stop.
429
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,440
Erm, and somebody called
an ambulance
430
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,440
and she was taken to hospital
in Hull.
431
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,080
She was a different woman
in the blink of an eye.
432
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:34,920
It was heartbreaking to see
how much effort she put into,
433
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,680
especially the work she did
with the physiotherapist,
434
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:39,800
and then I don't know
if something happened,
435
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,560
but she was rushed back to hospital
one day.
436
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,640
They thought perhaps
she'd had another stroke
437
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,720
because her speech
was suddenly set back again,
438
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,400
and she never really got back
from that setback.
439
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,280
And I think that's why she found
440
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:54,040
the life of significant disability
so difficult
441
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:57,760
because it completely
turned the tables on who she'd been.
442
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,960
It's Mandy Appleyard here
with my mum, Janet,
443
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,520
and I was just going to ask you
about your decision
444
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,440
to go to Switzerland.
Yes.
445
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:11,120
Do you understand what that means,
to go to Dignitas. Yes.
446
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,000
What does it mean, love?
It means that you're going to die.
447
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,240
It means that you'll die, yeah.
448
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:19,000
By suicide, which you understand.
Yes.
449
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,600
And what makes you want to do that,
Mum?
450
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,520
Why have you decided that
you want... I don't want to live.
451
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,240
What can't you do, Mum,
that you want to be able to do?
452
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,640
Talk properly.
Talk properly.
453
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,840
Walk.
Walk.
454
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:37,960
And I want... hand. And you can't
do anything with one hand.
455
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,600
She had asked us to kill her
several times.
456
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:44,840
She'd asked us to smother her.
457
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:48,560
She'd asked us
to leave her medication
458
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,360
on her little table across her bed
so that she could take an overdose.
459
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,400
She'd asked about
could we leave an apple
460
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,360
and a paring knife next to it
so she could use a knife.
461
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:58,400
To have...
462
00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:04,440
..my mum ask my sister and I
to murder her, to take her life,
463
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:09,360
was... unimaginably sad.
464
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,240
Has anybody influenced you
in that decision? No.
465
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,960
And have you ever felt that you
wanted to change your mind
466
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,520
about that decision?
No. OK. All right.
467
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,360
All right, well, we've got it
on record, haven't we?
468
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:24,040
Yes.
OK, love.
469
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,520
Bye-bye.
470
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:34,440
I do remember asking her if she was
making that decision for herself,
471
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,320
cos I said, "I can't live with it
472
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,680
"if you make that decision
for my sister and for me..."
473
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,120
VOICE BREAKING: "..because
we're your daughters
474
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,880
"and we'll care for you,
and we're in this situation."
475
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:48,720
And she said, "No, it's my decision.
It's what I want for me."
476
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,680
I don't know if it was,
but that's what she said.
477
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,600
"It's my decision for me."
478
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,320
I am tired of living.
479
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,760
You're tired of living.
OK. All right.
480
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,400
So you've had no second thoughts
about what you want to do?
481
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,240
No, no, not ever.
482
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:11,680
The person who feels that they
have lost everything in life
483
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,720
and their life is all about loss,
484
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:15,680
there are two aspects to that.
485
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:20,640
One of them is what are the things
that are still there
486
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,440
that can be built on
and are positive?
487
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:27,640
And then who decides
to cut that life short?
488
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:31,840
How do you know that that
really is the person's wish,
489
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,360
or is it that they feel that
that's what they should do
490
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:36,760
to relieve a burden on others,
491
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:41,440
rather than it really being
where they feel they want to go?
492
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:45,120
Death is the end. That's it.
493
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,360
And so many families will say,
494
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,320
"We were really prepared
for the death,
495
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,200
"but when it came, it was a shock."
496
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:24,040
He's now too weak to be able
to get all the way to Switzerland
497
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,640
with all this equipment. It just...
498
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:31,520
It's looking like it's not really
gonna be an option for him now.
499
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:40,320
We have paid a deposit,
just under £4,000.
500
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,320
The full amount would be between
£12,000 and £15,000,
501
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,360
so this makes it an elitist option.
502
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:52,120
INTERVIEWER: Did you ever think
that it might be OK
503
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:56,120
to have what is now available
to you only,
504
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,360
which is palliative care, hospice,
and so on?
505
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:05,960
"I don't want that because it
means Di sees me suffer." Yeah.
506
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,280
INTERVIEWER: Trevor,
have you ever felt pressured
507
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,600
to have an assisted death?
508
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,000
It's totally from him.
509
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,920
He has said to me
on numerous occasions,
510
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:30,240
"I don't want to live like this
any more."
511
00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:31,800
CLOCK CHIMES
512
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,800
SHE SNIFFS
513
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:44,560
"Utter boredom,
pain, both actual and emotional,
514
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,560
"and my sense of smell
works perfectly,
515
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:50,560
"so I smell the food
but can't even try a tiny bit."
516
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,440
He said he's ready now.
517
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:58,680
He wasn't ready a month ago...
518
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,160
and now he is.
519
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,200
But we can't do it
because it's not an option here,
520
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,720
and he is too weak
to get to Switzerland.
521
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:12,920
SHE SNIFFS
522
00:37:28,240 --> 00:37:31,480
Would anybody like some wine,
anyone?
523
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:32,960
Or is it just gonna be me?
524
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,880
I'll sit next to Kim
and help her eat...
525
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,400
This is really hot.
526
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,000
Is that enough spaghetti?
Yes.
527
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,560
Do you want a little bit more?
528
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,880
That's not terribly much.
Mm-hm.
529
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:51,360
Excuse me, Mama.
530
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:52,840
We can try, see how you do.
531
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:56,280
I know it's a little bit...
It's a little bit tricky.
532
00:37:56,280 --> 00:38:00,320
It's been a very long time
since you tried squid.
533
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,120
When did you have it last?
534
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,000
Focaccia out of the way.
535
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,400
And move that for me.
536
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,360
Have you pinched my napkin?
537
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,240
That's good, that's good.
538
00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:23,840
It's like knowing the date
of, like, a car crash,
539
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,960
or when a murderer
is gonna come into your house.
540
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:29,480
It's unnerving, it's scary...
541
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:32,800
..and it's awfully quiet.
542
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:48,320
I think, to be honest, I'm literally
not thinking about anything,
543
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,000
not even the return flight,
544
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,360
but actually just getting
to that date and time,
545
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,000
supporting Kim, whatever it takes.
546
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,360
I'd like to be the one
to comfort her
547
00:38:58,360 --> 00:38:59,640
and to make sure she's OK.
548
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:02,880
And to just...
549
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:03,920
HE SIGHS
550
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:07,760
..be there for her
551
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,680
because I don't think I'd be able
to live with myself if...
552
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,720
..during a very,
very hard time for her...
553
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,560
..and I've spent 19 years with her,
554
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,120
that I wouldn't be there for her.
555
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,520
Right, do you recognise
what kind of cake it is?
556
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,440
What's one of your favourite
kinds of cakes
557
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,200
that you used to like
making yourself?
558
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,280
Yeah. German chocolate cheesecake.
559
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:39,560
HE KISSES HER
560
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:43,800
Happy birthday.
561
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,960
Various medical reports
had to be secured,
562
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,480
including a psychiatric assessment,
563
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,520
to determine whether or not
she was depressed,
564
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,440
because depression
creates a lot of difficulties
565
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,840
for people who want to go
to Dignitas.
566
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,960
Because their view, quite rightly,
is that if somebody's depressed,
567
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,480
they may cease to be depressed
next Tuesday or next year,
568
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:30,280
and therefore, they might have made
a very different decision
569
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:31,400
about their end of life.
570
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,160
Several people that we approached
for assessments
571
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:36,280
refused to help Mum.
572
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,800
One of them had agreed
to assess Mum,
573
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:40,760
and we'd set everything up
for that Friday,
574
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,600
and then phoned the day before
575
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,840
and said she'd spoken to her...
the governing body,
576
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,320
erm, and they had said,
"You shouldn't do this,
577
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:53,080
"because maybe... this is to dying
inquiries, so you can't go there."
578
00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:12,960
There was a police officer
from Humberside Police
579
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:17,040
and a social worker from
East Riding of Yorkshire Council.
580
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,760
My mum was in her chair,
where she always was.
581
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:22,560
My sister was looking after her
in the lounge.
582
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,120
They questioned them to begin with
on whether there was a plan
583
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,080
for Mum to go to Dignitas.
584
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:30,400
Mum said it was a private matter,
a family matter,
585
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,840
and she didn't want to talk
about it with a third party,
586
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:34,440
and it was nobody else's business.
587
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,360
And the police said to my sister
in front of my mum,
588
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:40,080
"Do you realise that
if you are planning that,
589
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,240
"it's murder, it's manslaughter?
590
00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:44,320
"It's a serious prison sentence
for you.
591
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,120
"This isn't a road
that you can go down."
592
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:55,360
Don't forget that in this country,
elder abuse is a big problem.
593
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:59,400
One in five people
over the age of 65 have been abused,
594
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,440
usually financially
or emotionally or by neglect.
595
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:06,760
Doctors don't pick that up,
they don't pick up the coercion
596
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,960
that goes on behind closed doors.
597
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:10,640
They don't know about it.
598
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:14,640
And now we have an NHS
which is on its knees,
599
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:20,080
we have a shortage of doctors, we
have ever-lengthening waiting lists,
600
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:23,480
and yet you're gonna take doctors
away from providing care
601
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,520
to be the judge and jury
602
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,960
to assess patients as to whether
they should have lethal drugs
603
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,360
to shorten life.
604
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,200
And there's no backfilling,
605
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,960
so more and more people are not
gonna get the care they need.
606
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,440
We banned capital punishment
607
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,240
because there had been
wrongful convictions.
608
00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:57,120
We know that there had been
misdiagnosis,
609
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:01,480
we know of someone who was told he
had severe lung disease in Canada.
610
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,320
He had lethal drugs,
his life was ended.
611
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:08,400
And at postmortem, that lung disease
was not there at all.
612
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,480
This was misinformation.
613
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:13,760
We know from other jurisdictions
that young women
614
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:18,560
who had been sexually abused
earlier in life, severely abused,
615
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:23,040
in despair, now with anorexia
and other mental health conditions,
616
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,440
had been given lethal drugs.
617
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:31,040
I sort of think it's the usual
muddying of the waters.
618
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:35,000
It's the same stuff about
whether anorexic girls
619
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,280
should be allowed
to take their own lives.
620
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,560
And this stuff, it's never gonna be
within the scope of a law
621
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,120
put forward.
622
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,040
Is it always about people
whether they're mentally competent?
623
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,160
If you're talking about
a teenager with anorexia,
624
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,240
they are going through
a mental health condition,
625
00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:52,480
which means that they are not
mentally competent,
626
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,520
so we shouldn't be talking about
them as you say.
627
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:55,840
Or children under a certain age,
628
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:59,000
they don't need to be brought
into this conversation at all.
629
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,040
Where people are weak or vulnerable
or exposed to risk,
630
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:06,520
you can just shut down the risk
with a decent bit of legislation.
631
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:28,240
Until the age of three,
I was non-disabled.
632
00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:33,200
And then in 1949, I got polio,
was paralysed from the waist down.
633
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,760
Was put in a machine
called an iron lung,
634
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:37,880
and that's the only reason
I'm here talking to you.
635
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:41,640
This is serious stuff. This isn't...
636
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:44,920
It's not easy to talk about,
or it's not a subject
637
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,960
that people want to really
think about
638
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:50,720
cos it's... it's about people dying.
639
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:56,280
And the debates about disability
640
00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:02,320
and end of life really began
to gain traction 15 years ago
641
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:07,000
as a solution to ending interminable
suffering, you know, that kind of...
642
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,680
So disabled people,
like myself and others,
643
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:14,880
began to get very worried
about where we would fit
644
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,520
in this new world.
645
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:19,720
It's bad enough as it is now,
646
00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:24,440
let alone adding a treatment
called assisted suicide.
647
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,280
No, thank you.
648
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:42,080
Feels a bit like the sort of meeting
at the OK Corral.
649
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:44,720
How are you, Phil? Nice to meet you.
How are you doing?
650
00:45:44,720 --> 00:45:47,040
Very nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too. At last.
651
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,640
It's good not to get run over
as well. Yes!
652
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,360
As if we haven't got enough
to worry about. I know, I know.
653
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,680
An odd kind of meeting, isn't it?
Yeah, it is. It is.
654
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:58,480
It's lovely to see you.
And you, too.
655
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,600
The question we should ask ourselves
maybe, Phil,
656
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:05,880
is how do two such fine gentlemen
in wheelchairs
657
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:10,440
end up, you know, in a park,
on a grey day,
658
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,520
which is a good day
to talk about death, isn't it? Yes.
659
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:14,800
What got us here, Phil?
660
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:19,240
I'm a part of a group of disabled
people called Not Dead Yet UK.
661
00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:22,200
And our mission
is to resist all attempts
662
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:24,520
to change the law
on assisted suicide.
663
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,040
So what that does
is put you and me together.
664
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,400
As adversaries.
665
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,120
No, I wouldn't say adversaries.
666
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:34,240
I would say that you have your view,
and I have mine.
667
00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:35,920
It's people like you and me
668
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,240
who are actually
in the middle of this debate.
669
00:46:38,240 --> 00:46:39,440
Yeah.
670
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,560
I think we probably
all have views about suicide,
671
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:46,560
and sadly, for very severely
disabled people like yourself,
672
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:50,640
administering your own medication,
say, to kill yourself,
673
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:52,360
is beyond
your physical capabilities.
674
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:56,840
So there is no question
that for people like yourself,
675
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:59,200
who face a very uncertain future,
676
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:02,040
erm, that is out of your control
677
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:05,160
is... terrifying.
678
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:08,240
Putting it plainly.
It's how I would feel anyway.
679
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:10,440
It is frightening, yeah.
680
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:14,680
But I think until we have
systems in place
681
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:19,080
that can provide
first-class social care,
682
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:22,920
can provide first-class
end-of-life care, palliative care...
683
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:27,360
..in my view, would be dangerous
to change the law.
684
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:30,200
And we have never really looked at
685
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:34,040
one main cause of people
wanting to end their lives,
686
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,560
which far from popular belief,
is pain.
687
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,440
It isn't, it's about being a burden.
688
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:43,360
You and I both rely incredibly
on our partners. My wife, your wife.
689
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:44,480
Yeah, yeah.
690
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:47,320
And there will be times, I know,
when I think,
691
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:51,680
"Having me around, apart
from my charming personality...
692
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:54,720
"having me around
stops Sue doing things."
693
00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:56,880
There's no question about that.
Yeah, absolutely.
694
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:58,880
And it's gonna get worse
as I get older,
695
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:04,840
so I think that it's dangerous
to offer assisted suicide
696
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,040
as a treatment plan
697
00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:10,080
as opposed to the more expensive
palliative care,
698
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:11,440
social care and so on.
699
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:13,200
I feel that.
700
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:19,880
But there comes a point where,
you know, if there is no more value,
701
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:25,040
if there is no more enjoyment
in life,
702
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:30,840
and there's more suffering,
then by keeping me alive,
703
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:35,800
it's... you know,
it's not good for anyone,
704
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:38,320
and at least of all me.
705
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:49,600
Right. So, Phil, how do you
feel about assisting a suicide?
706
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,360
PHIL LAUGHS
A Reggie Perrin.
707
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:53,760
Yeah.
708
00:48:56,640 --> 00:49:01,160
I'm resigned to the fact that
nothing will change in my lifetime.
709
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:07,800
But there are a lot of people
like me who will find ways
710
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:11,520
in very lonely
and desperate circumstances
711
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:13,360
of taking their own lives.
712
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:17,360
Hundreds of terminally ill people
do that every year.
713
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:21,440
I know that palliative care
can take away pain.
714
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,200
I had five sets of drugs last night.
715
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,000
And I know it can take away anxiety.
716
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:30,080
But it's not... It can never really
take away my anguish,
717
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,320
you know, the burden
of struggling to breathe.
718
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,120
I say, well, what about us?
719
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:38,480
How long do people like us
have to wait?
720
00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:44,440
For people around now that are
managing the end of their lives
721
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:48,600
without the legal recourse
to assisted suicide...
722
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:51,640
..that's obviously awful.
723
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:52,840
Yeah.
724
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,960
But what I'm also trying to get
across is that disabled people
725
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:57,680
often feel very vulnerable,
726
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:01,680
and it's very difficult to then say,
of course,
727
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:05,160
change the law that makes our
position even more vulnerable,
728
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:06,440
potentially.
729
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,760
Potentially. And, you see,
the words you used there like that,
730
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,640
the "mights" and "coulds"
and "potentially".
731
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:15,440
Now, I know there's, you know,
some very definites
732
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,080
in the way I'm going.
733
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:19,120
Here, we're talking about
something
734
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,800
that's gonna lead
to potentially people dying.
735
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,920
So good enough isn't...
Hopefully, it will.
736
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:26,360
Yeah,
but good enough is not good enough.
737
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:30,880
We've gotta be sure that we've put
in place all of the components
738
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:34,520
that protect everybody from harm,
basically.
739
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:37,840
And I think it's fair to say
that the jury's out
740
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:39,440
amongst disabled people.
741
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:42,040
Disabled people don't all go,
"No way." No.
742
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:45,760
Most disabled people are either
not sure what they think about this
743
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:48,600
or they take one view,
which is "no way,"
744
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:50,760
or they say,
"I wanna die by my own hand."
745
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,440
Yeah, but it's kind of ironic
that the polling shows that,
746
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:55,880
you know, across religious groups,
747
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:58,800
and across disabled
and non-disabled people,
748
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,480
that they're in favour
of a change in the law.
749
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:04,600
Right, so, Phil,
is the law gonna change?
750
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,240
I think the answer's probably yes.
Yeah.
751
00:51:09,240 --> 00:51:11,480
I'm a realist.
Yeah.
752
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:15,000
There's enough momentum behind...
753
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:19,280
..something changing
on assisted suicide
754
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:23,720
that it will happen at some point,
and maybe when I'm not here either.
755
00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:28,240
But we have to fashion this
in a way that what works for us.
756
00:51:28,240 --> 00:51:32,040
My fear about this, really,
is that we're gonna be,
757
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,960
as a country, shamed into this
and rushed into this.
758
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,920
And that will involve
bad legislation,
759
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:39,600
and that will be a right mess.
760
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:41,200
And you won't benefit from that.
761
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,160
In fact, no-one will benefit
from that.
762
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:08,520
OK.
763
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:14,080
This must look really weird.
764
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:17,960
Good technique for, erm...
765
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:22,360
..licking lollies, maybe.
766
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:33,640
Gotta write this
biographical sketch, erm...
767
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:36,120
..which is a bit weird,
768
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:38,480
cos I've never had to do
something like this before.
769
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:40,840
As well as the technology
being a bugger,
770
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,760
it's an inverse job app...
771
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:47,120
I've never thought about it
like that, application to die.
772
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:49,320
So...
773
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:52,520
..born in Chatham, Kent, 1976.
774
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:54,480
Parents: Frankie and John Monks.
775
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:59,840
Diagnosed with multiple sclerosis
in...
776
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:02,360
Maybe it doesn't look like
the word "sclerosis".
777
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,160
Infuriating.
778
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:10,760
Have the use of my left arm
and hand.
779
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:13,400
Crap.
780
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:19,480
I think it doesn't like my kind of
slightly chavvy North Kent accent.
781
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:21,800
I'm just approaching this process
as I would
782
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:24,760
anything else
I've approached in life.
783
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:30,520
And the fact that it's about
my demise, ultimately, is by the by.
784
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:33,080
But you're determined to do it,
aren't you?
785
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:36,240
Because you're never thinking
about an alternative.
786
00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:38,440
I always have been determined
to do it.
787
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,960
But I'm open-minded about when,
788
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:46,040
and I'm certainly not in a position
where I want to die yet.
789
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:47,240
If I can get all this...
790
00:53:48,240 --> 00:53:50,160
..sorted and organised...
791
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,880
..then when the time comes,
I can just say, "Right...
792
00:53:55,960 --> 00:54:00,640
"You know, book the Channel Tunnel.
We're off to Switzerland."
793
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:04,400
That's there, that's my
get-out-of-jail-free card, you know?
794
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:06,600
Cos that's what it is.
That's what it will feel like.
795
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:10,120
Do you feel that you've got months,
got years?
796
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:11,480
It flips around.
797
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:15,680
If it's bad, I'll feel like
I've got three or four months left.
798
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:19,000
At other times, I won't even
think like that, you know?
799
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:24,200
I'll be making plans for next year
and booking holidays for the summer,
800
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:25,960
which we've done.
801
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:28,560
You know, every Christmas,
I'm like...
802
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:31,760
WHISPERS:
"..is this the last Christmas?"
803
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:05,200
DI: He spent a lot of time
texting people.
804
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:07,760
He instructed me on how to make
805
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:13,240
the Trevor signature loaf
for the staff.
806
00:55:13,240 --> 00:55:17,880
Then towards the end of the day,
he said,
807
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:19,520
"Take the dogs for a walk,
808
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:22,880
"and then you can take me back
to the hospice."
809
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:26,600
Come on, Meg!
810
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:31,760
'I was a few fields away,
811
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:35,040
'and my phone pinged.'
812
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:42,000
So the text says,
"My dearest friend, lover, and wife,
813
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,800
"I'm so sorry for what I have done.
814
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:49,880
"I cannot continue with my life
the way it is now.
815
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,960
"I can't walk, talk, eat,
816
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:57,400
"and I'm losing the use
of my right arm and leg.
817
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:01,600
"I'm only bringing
forward the inevitable.
818
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:04,360
"I love you more than I can say,
819
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:09,520
"and I thank you
for spending your life with me.
820
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:12,480
"Your ever-loving husband, Trev.
821
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:15,400
"Of course,
I wouldn't have to do this
822
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:20,080
"if this stupid country
allowed assisted dying!
823
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:26,480
"You will find me in the workshop.
Don't hate me, please, Di."
824
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:37,440
He'd clearly taken an overdose.
825
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:41,680
And these drugs,
which I didn't know what they were
826
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:43,760
or where he'd got them from,
827
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:50,400
obviously preplanned,
and he'd put them through the tube.
828
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:53,200
He was unconscious.
829
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:57,240
Erm... his heart was still beating.
830
00:56:57,240 --> 00:57:02,160
Two and a half hours later, I think
it was, he still hadn't died.
831
00:57:15,720 --> 00:57:20,240
Any means of ending his own life
832
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:23,600
was taken from him,
833
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:27,920
which left him
with the only option he had is to...
834
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:34,320
..prevent them from giving him
any nutrition,
835
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:37,480
so he stopped taking water as well.
836
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:42,200
To start with, I thought...
"Good on you, Trev.
837
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:47,360
"That's the only way you're gonna do
what you want, and, you know,
838
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:52,200
"hopefully, no water will mean
it will happen quite quickly."
839
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:54,000
But I...
840
00:57:54,000 --> 00:58:00,560
I didn't realise how desperately
thirsty he would get, and he was...
841
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,040
It was really horrible to watch.
842
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:07,280
And I did say to him, "Are you sure
you want to do it like this?"
843
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:09,000
But absolutely he did.
844
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:11,760
It was his only choice.
845
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:25,760
I was so lucky to find him.
846
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:27,120
We were good together.
847
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:33,000
It's horrible.
It's horrible not having him here.
848
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,040
But he's in the best place for him
now.
849
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:45,440
Once he was able to...
850
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:51,200
..communicate on his iPad after his
suicide attempt, I asked him...
851
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:57,560
if he wanted me to see you guys
again and tell the end of his story,
852
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:00,720
and he was insistent that I did.
853
00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:05,920
He felt passionately
that he should have had the choice
854
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:07,760
to do what he wanted to do
855
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:12,320
and me not to have to face
potential legal...
856
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:15,640
..connotations.
857
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:31,600
OK, we're recording now, so, Kimmy,
it's the... What day is it today?
858
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:34,520
Sunday the what, do you know?
859
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:50,000
And a week today,
we should be over in...
860
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:52,120
Switzerland. Switzerland.
So, why's that?
861
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:19,280
So you completed all the forms
and things like that
862
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:23,480
and asked me to get them
sent off and things for you,
863
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:26,680
and I'm going to accompany you
to Switzerland.
864
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:31,920
Mm.
865
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:35,400
And what will happen there?
866
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:08,280
We have a law at the moment
867
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:13,800
which has a firm face
but a kind heart.
868
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:17,280
If somebody assists suicide
in this country,
869
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:21,120
if there is evidence
that the person tried really hard
870
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:23,080
to support the person,
871
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:26,880
dissuade them, the law looks on them
in a much more lenient way.
872
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:29,840
But every case
is assessed individually.
873
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:35,640
The boundary is clear, the message
is clear. You don't do it.
874
01:01:35,640 --> 01:01:40,920
If you break it, the extenuating
circumstances are looked at
875
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:43,280
in a kindly way by our law.
876
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:45,440
That's how our law works.
877
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:52,440
When we got back from Switzerland,
878
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:55,800
we went back
to our respective homes,
879
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:58,880
and then my sister was in bed
880
01:01:58,880 --> 01:02:01,440
at 7pm on the Sunday evening
the following day
881
01:02:01,440 --> 01:02:04,440
when there was a violent banging
on her front door.
882
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:05,960
It was Humberside Police
883
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:09,960
saying that they had reason to
believe a crime had been committed.
884
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:11,760
And they came,
and they did the interview,
885
01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:14,440
and there are very sympathetic,
and they were very reassuring
886
01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:17,960
when they left that this was
a procedural thing.
887
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:21,440
Somebody had reported a crime,
so they had to be seen
888
01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:24,360
to be investigating that,
but not to worry.
889
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:27,800
"The most likely outcome here
is that within six weeks,
890
01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:30,920
"you will get a missive
from the Crown Prosecution Service
891
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:33,360
"saying that it's not
in the public interest
892
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:37,120
"to prosecute you
or that there is no case to answer."
893
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:38,880
It didn't happen like that.
894
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:46,560
The police asked me for permission
to go through my bank account.
895
01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:49,560
They asked for access
to my sister's bank account.
896
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:54,840
They went to Mum's two sisters,
to a close family friend,
897
01:02:54,840 --> 01:02:56,120
and to one of her carers,
898
01:02:56,120 --> 01:02:59,200
and asked for witness statements
as to Mum's state of mind,
899
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:01,960
and I did a two-hour interview
under police caution.
900
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:05,280
So we'd go for two or three months,
901
01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:08,120
and it would seem as if things were
quiet, and I would forget about it,
902
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:10,040
and then I'd have another phone call
saying,
903
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:12,880
"Now you need to produce this,"
or, "Now you need to produce that."
904
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:32,600
'I regarded what we had helped Mum
to do as an act of love.
905
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:36,120
'And that was criminalised,
obviously,
906
01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:40,440
'and it made it feel dirty,
and it drove it underground.'
907
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:46,360
I was seething with anger.
908
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:52,080
I was angry that we were distracted
again and again and again
909
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:54,000
from mourning our mum.
910
01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:59,600
'And increasingly, as time went by,
911
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:02,160
'thought that there was
a very real chance
912
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:04,560
'that I might go to prison
for 14 years.'
913
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:10,280
I had serious suicidal thoughts
914
01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:14,480
when it came to the possibility
of a prison sentence.
915
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:16,040
I just couldn't have gone to prison.
916
01:04:18,240 --> 01:04:21,320
I couldn't have done it.
I would rather have been dead
917
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:23,520
than serve a prison sentence
for what happened.
918
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:47,600
Same here.
919
01:04:50,040 --> 01:04:51,880
Same here.
920
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:54,400
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Don't be sad.
921
01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:58,120
You'll make me sad, don't...
Stop it.
922
01:04:58,120 --> 01:04:59,160
HE CHUCKLES
923
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:02,480
If you don't want to go through
with this, love,
924
01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:05,160
you can always change your mind.
You must be...
925
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:08,120
You must be sure, OK?
Yeah.
926
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:13,680
I understand.
927
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:20,960
I don't mind caring for you,
but I don't like to see you suffer,
928
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:25,120
and if that's your decision,
you just must be sure.
929
01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:30,240
OK. Got it.
930
01:05:39,320 --> 01:05:43,800
Well, none of us want you
to be alone. You can't be alone.
931
01:05:46,680 --> 01:05:50,040
We're gonna be there to support
and love and care for you, OK?
932
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:53,880
HE CLEARS THROAT
933
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:54,920
OK?
934
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:20,280
You know you don't come back
from this, right?
935
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:21,520
Mm-hm.
936
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:25,440
You OK with that?
937
01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:31,640
You don't have to.
938
01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:39,200
You warm enough?
939
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:41,280
Gonna pop that there.
940
01:06:41,280 --> 01:06:42,320
All right.
941
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:46,080
Are we ready for off?
Mm-hm.
942
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:47,640
HE CHUCKLES
OK.
943
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:49,200
Sure?
Mm-hm.
944
01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:51,880
Are you going to say that halfway
down the road we missed anything?
945
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:52,920
No?
946
01:06:54,560 --> 01:06:55,840
Got the passports.
947
01:06:57,320 --> 01:07:00,080
MUSIC: 'Build Me Up Buttercup'
by The Foundations
948
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:03,080
# You know that I have
From the start
949
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:06,040
# So build me up, buttercup...
950
01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:08,040
# Don't break my heart... #
951
01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:11,160
Shall we sing along, Kim?
952
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:15,040
# To you, I'm a toy
But I could be the boy you adore
953
01:07:15,040 --> 01:07:17,760
# If you'd just let me know
954
01:07:17,760 --> 01:07:22,520
# Although you're untrue
I'm attracted to you all the more
955
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:25,480
# Why do I need you so...? #
956
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:28,920
'The whole journey is going
to take us at least eight hours.'
957
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:32,120
I have to use the wheelchair,
of course.
958
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:35,920
'We've had to make
special arrangements
959
01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:39,080
'through airline assistance
in order to get Kim to Zurich
960
01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:41,400
'because she's in a wheelchair.
961
01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:48,680
'Airline travel to Amsterdam.
962
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:53,240
'Layover in Amsterdam Airport.
963
01:07:54,280 --> 01:07:57,120
'Another flight to Zurich,
964
01:07:57,120 --> 01:07:59,880
'and then a long taxi drive
965
01:07:59,880 --> 01:08:03,440
'to a hotel near Dignitas.
966
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:05,840
'A little distance from Zurich.'
967
01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:19,480
Does it feel today
like you expected it to feel?
968
01:08:36,640 --> 01:08:38,400
Hi.
Hello, I'm the doctor.
969
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:40,360
Andy. Nice to meet you. Come in.
Nice to meet you.
970
01:08:41,680 --> 01:08:44,880
Hello, I'm the doctor.
Nice to meet you.
971
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:57,960
What did the doctor ask you, Kim?
972
01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:15,320
Do you really feel you have to go?
973
01:09:35,480 --> 01:09:36,640
It's OK.
974
01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:52,080
It's OK.
975
01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:10,200
Love you.
976
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:11,760
BIRDSONG
977
01:10:16,280 --> 01:10:17,680
ANDREA: Morning.
Morning.
978
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:20,720
I'm Andrea.
Nice to meet you. Hi. Andy.
979
01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:22,760
This is Kim. Nice to meet you.
980
01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:25,000
Hi. I'm Andrea.
Hi.
981
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:27,920
Josh, Sean.
982
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:30,240
Let's go.
983
01:10:30,240 --> 01:10:32,880
Please take a seat.
OK.
984
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:36,080
Do you have
the original documents here?
985
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:39,360
Yes, which ones do you want?
The birth.
986
01:10:39,360 --> 01:10:43,640
We keep the passport here
for the police to take,
987
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:49,080
and then we send it back in ten,
14 days with the death certificate.
988
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:51,000
We've got the certificate
of naturalisation
989
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:52,640
cos we don't have
a birth certificate
990
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:55,440
because she was born in Vietnam,
so we have a...
991
01:10:55,440 --> 01:10:57,240
And we've got a new copy of that.
992
01:10:57,240 --> 01:11:00,000
And you need the marriage
certificate, I think. Yes.
993
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:03,360
OK, then we have all three.
SUSAN: Thank you very much.
994
01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:05,320
Thank you.
995
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:08,280
OK, we need your signature here.
996
01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:10,880
OK.
997
01:11:19,120 --> 01:11:22,800
Would you like to take
something with you in the coffin?
998
01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:25,400
Something personal,
999
01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:28,400
like a flower or a letter
1000
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:31,640
or a photo or something like that?
1001
01:11:32,680 --> 01:11:35,560
We look in the garden for a flower?
Mm-hm.
1002
01:11:35,560 --> 01:11:36,920
Yes?
1003
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:39,000
Did the doctor explain you
1004
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:44,600
the procedure here with the
first medication for your stomach?
1005
01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:48,280
And then we have to wait
minimum 25 minutes,
1006
01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:52,840
and when you're ready,
you can take the last medication.
1007
01:11:52,840 --> 01:11:58,640
So it's up to you when you want
to start with the first medication.
1008
01:12:04,040 --> 01:12:06,800
Do you need some time
with your family?
1009
01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:07,840
KIM: Mm.
1010
01:12:12,160 --> 01:12:15,400
And you know you can stop it
any time,
1011
01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:18,680
and you can go back if you want.
1012
01:12:18,680 --> 01:12:20,160
There is no pressure.
1013
01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:22,640
That is beautiful.
Isn't that lovely?
1014
01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:26,120
It's your favourite, isn't it?
1015
01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:30,120
It does smell beautiful, doesn't it?
1016
01:12:31,440 --> 01:12:32,480
Oh, yeah.
1017
01:12:32,480 --> 01:12:33,840
You want a drink of water?
1018
01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:40,240
OK, do you want to...? I'll do that.
1019
01:12:41,720 --> 01:12:42,920
KNOCKING ON DOOR
1020
01:12:42,920 --> 01:12:44,760
First medication, yes.
First one? OK.
1021
01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:46,400
We will bring it.
OK.
1022
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:50,360
This is the first medication
for your stomach.
1023
01:12:50,360 --> 01:12:53,840
There are some chocolates there,
as well, looks like.
1024
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:56,960
I think water would be best.
OK.
1025
01:12:56,960 --> 01:12:58,760
SUSAN: For her stomach?
Yeah, yeah.
1026
01:12:58,760 --> 01:13:00,000
OK.
Well done.
1027
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:02,760
Now we have to wait
minimum 25 minutes,
1028
01:13:02,760 --> 01:13:05,040
but you can wait longer.
1029
01:13:05,040 --> 01:13:06,800
There is no pressure.
1030
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:09,640
Yeah, do you want to sit
in the comfy chair?
1031
01:13:09,640 --> 01:13:13,080
This is... Look, this looks like
a reclining chair, doesn't it?
1032
01:13:13,080 --> 01:13:14,600
What's best?
1033
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:17,800
For the last medication,
when you lie on the bed.
1034
01:13:17,800 --> 01:13:19,560
Up you come.
Maybe...
1035
01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:21,840
No, no, it's OK. She can walk.
Oh.
1036
01:13:21,840 --> 01:13:23,520
She'll be OK. It's just...
1037
01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:26,320
She needs just some help,
that's all.
1038
01:13:26,320 --> 01:13:27,880
Right, do you want to...?
1039
01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:30,040
Let's get rocking. There you go.
1040
01:13:30,040 --> 01:13:33,600
That's it, until you feel the bed
at the back of your legs.
1041
01:13:35,440 --> 01:13:37,440
Do you want to be
a little further backwards?
1042
01:13:38,680 --> 01:13:41,960
Then we'll leave you alone
for this time, and...
1043
01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:43,440
OK, thank you very much.
1044
01:13:43,440 --> 01:13:46,200
When you are ready,
knock on the door. OK.
1045
01:13:46,200 --> 01:13:48,480
OK.
1046
01:13:48,480 --> 01:13:51,040
SOFTLY: OK, good.
1047
01:13:51,040 --> 01:13:53,960
Can you grab me a tissue, Joshy?
1048
01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:55,480
ANDY SNIFFLES
1049
01:13:55,480 --> 01:13:57,720
There's one right there.
Oh, there's one here.
1050
01:13:59,960 --> 01:14:01,480
HE BLOWS NOSE
1051
01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:19,600
INTERVIEWER:
Why are you thanking us, Kim?
1052
01:14:20,960 --> 01:14:22,240
Yes.
1053
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,960
You're a very brave woman.
1054
01:14:33,240 --> 01:14:34,560
OK?
SUSAN: OK.
1055
01:14:40,760 --> 01:14:45,120
Would you like to take
the last medication?
1056
01:14:45,120 --> 01:14:46,720
OK.
1057
01:14:50,400 --> 01:14:53,040
WHISPERS: I love you.
1058
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:56,840
If you think about
your best day in your life,
1059
01:14:56,840 --> 01:14:58,400
and have a good sleep.
1060
01:14:58,400 --> 01:15:00,040
It's OK.
1061
01:15:00,040 --> 01:15:03,160
WHISPERS: Thank you so much.
I love you, Kim.
1062
01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:05,920
Thank you for raising me.
We're all here.
1063
01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:17,760
I love you more than anything.
1064
01:15:21,840 --> 01:15:23,760
I love you, darling.
1065
01:15:32,640 --> 01:15:34,520
I think she's stopped breathing.
Yeah.
1066
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:36,560
I think she has stopped breathing,
yes.
1067
01:15:49,480 --> 01:15:50,680
ANDY SNIFFS
1068
01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:53,320
She does like
the most peaceful of scenery.
1069
01:15:54,520 --> 01:15:56,000
Couple of years.
1070
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:58,560
ANDY EXHALES
1071
01:15:59,760 --> 01:16:02,040
THEY SNIFF
1072
01:16:04,840 --> 01:16:06,280
ANDY EXHALES HEAVILY
1073
01:16:06,280 --> 01:16:09,120
You've done well, you guys,
dealing with this. Well done.
1074
01:16:09,120 --> 01:16:10,480
SNIFFS
1075
01:16:14,160 --> 01:16:17,600
Let's leave her in peace
and let these guys do what they do.
1076
01:16:20,480 --> 01:16:22,360
Bye-bye, love.
1077
01:16:24,400 --> 01:16:27,440
HE SIGHS,
SNIFFS
1078
01:16:35,640 --> 01:16:37,760
ANDY SNIFFS
1079
01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:40,040
Thank you.
1080
01:16:40,040 --> 01:16:41,800
It's a lovely place you have here.
1081
01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:47,760
OK, let's go.
1082
01:16:47,760 --> 01:16:49,280
Right.
1083
01:16:53,520 --> 01:16:56,760
MUSIC: 'Here Today'
by Laurie Lewis
1084
01:17:04,760 --> 01:17:10,440
# I've had my share of good times
1085
01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:14,080
# The taste of love
1086
01:17:14,080 --> 01:17:16,880
# The kiss of wine
1087
01:17:16,880 --> 01:17:23,560
# And I've tried to stand up
And be strong
1088
01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:29,360
# I've tried to help
My friends along
1089
01:17:29,360 --> 01:17:31,840
# And when I'm gone
1090
01:17:31,840 --> 01:17:35,000
# They'll weep for me
1091
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:40,920
# But I'll be a fading memory
1092
01:17:40,920 --> 01:17:44,200
# We're here today
1093
01:17:44,200 --> 01:17:47,000
# And then we're gone
1094
01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:50,480
# This life will end
1095
01:17:50,480 --> 01:17:53,240
# Just like a song
1096
01:17:53,240 --> 01:17:59,360
# We only have this little time... #
1097
01:17:59,360 --> 01:18:03,720
I think it's just too dangerous
to go down this road.
1098
01:18:03,720 --> 01:18:07,680
There are risks,
there are unintended consequences.
1099
01:18:07,680 --> 01:18:09,400
There are things that go wrong.
1100
01:18:09,400 --> 01:18:14,880
Every bit of legislation I've seen
has got room for error in it,
1101
01:18:14,880 --> 01:18:18,080
has got room
for people to get caught up.
1102
01:18:18,080 --> 01:18:20,120
And if you're going to
change the law,
1103
01:18:20,120 --> 01:18:23,160
you have to make sure
that it's safe.
1104
01:18:23,160 --> 01:18:26,000
This just is not safe.
It's too risky.
1105
01:18:27,440 --> 01:18:30,800
# I've tried to walk
1106
01:18:30,800 --> 01:18:33,520
# The path that winds
1107
01:18:33,520 --> 01:18:39,840
# And leave just
These few tombs behind
1108
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:43,320
# So when you hear
1109
01:18:43,320 --> 01:18:46,480
# The night bird cry
1110
01:18:46,480 --> 01:18:52,920
# Won't you think of me and sigh?
1111
01:18:52,920 --> 01:18:55,680
# And when the wind
1112
01:18:55,680 --> 01:18:58,960
# Sings through the trees
1113
01:18:58,960 --> 01:19:04,320
# Won't you sometimes
Think of me...? #
1114
01:19:07,240 --> 01:19:09,160
My sister said,
1115
01:19:09,160 --> 01:19:11,520
"I think that we should keep
a lock of her hair each."
1116
01:19:11,520 --> 01:19:13,880
People knew her for her hair,
people used to say,
1117
01:19:13,880 --> 01:19:16,440
"Oh, she's the smart lady
with the silver bob."
1118
01:19:16,440 --> 01:19:20,160
And I just remember kissing her
and feeling that fuzzy face
1119
01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:22,440
and smelling her hair,
it was lovely.
1120
01:19:22,440 --> 01:19:24,480
And this hair,
I've kept it in a little box,
1121
01:19:24,480 --> 01:19:26,120
hoping that the smell would stay.
1122
01:19:26,120 --> 01:19:28,400
Obviously, it's been
a couple of years now, so it's gone,
1123
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:30,040
but, yeah, just that.
1124
01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:32,760
And her laugh,
she had a great laugh.
1125
01:19:32,760 --> 01:19:33,920
Yeah.
1126
01:19:35,920 --> 01:19:39,160
# We're here today
1127
01:19:39,160 --> 01:19:42,120
# And then we're gone
1128
01:19:42,120 --> 01:19:45,720
# This life will end
1129
01:19:45,720 --> 01:19:48,360
# Just like a song
1130
01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:54,520
# We only have this little time
1131
01:19:54,520 --> 01:20:01,520
# So come and let our voices twine
1132
01:20:01,520 --> 01:20:05,440
# We're here today. #
1133
01:20:05,440 --> 01:20:07,480
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com
89946
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.