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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,532
??
2
00:00:19,382 --> 00:00:21,782
(SOFTLY) Good morning.
3
00:00:23,452 --> 00:00:25,151
Hi.
4
00:00:25,152 --> 00:00:26,691
- How'd you sleep?
- Better?
5
00:00:26,692 --> 00:00:28,191
I think so.
6
00:00:28,192 --> 00:00:29,821
Starting to get used to it here?
7
00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:32,292
I think so.
8
00:00:33,932 --> 00:00:35,461
- Lunchbox?
- Check.
9
00:00:35,462 --> 00:00:36,601
- Water bottle?
- Check.
10
00:00:36,602 --> 00:00:39,771
Oh, hey. Thought I missed you guys.
11
00:00:39,772 --> 00:00:41,141
You're fine.
12
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,371
- I meant to get up.
- You're good.
13
00:00:42,372 --> 00:00:44,511
Yeah. Have a great day, kiddo.
14
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,041
- Okay.
- I'll see you at work.
15
00:00:46,042 --> 00:00:48,111
Yeah. Uh, real quick, um...
16
00:00:48,112 --> 00:00:49,911
Who has Lois this weekend?
17
00:00:49,912 --> 00:00:51,011
Oh, Michael and Ethan.
18
00:00:51,012 --> 00:00:52,151
Yay!
19
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:53,411
What's up?
20
00:00:53,412 --> 00:00:54,581
Well, I just have this thing
21
00:00:54,582 --> 00:00:55,581
and I wanted to know
if you wanted to come.
22
00:00:55,582 --> 00:00:56,851
What's the thing?
23
00:00:56,852 --> 00:00:58,621
I was nominated for
an Independent Spirit Award.
24
00:00:58,622 --> 00:01:01,291
Wow! Congratulations.
25
00:01:01,292 --> 00:01:02,361
Mom, we're gonna be late.
26
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:03,761
Oh, okay.
27
00:01:03,762 --> 00:01:05,061
- Good-bye.
- Mwah.
28
00:01:05,062 --> 00:01:07,191
- One more.
- Mwah.
29
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:10,231
What's an Independent Spirit Award?
30
00:01:10,232 --> 00:01:11,902
Uh, I have no idea.
31
00:01:13,732 --> 00:01:15,901
So, all those in favor
32
00:01:15,902 --> 00:01:18,141
of Groundlings open-mic night
say "aye."
33
00:01:18,142 --> 00:01:19,741
- Aye.
- Aye.
34
00:01:19,742 --> 00:01:21,241
All right, well,
since only three of us
35
00:01:21,242 --> 00:01:23,941
even bother to show up,
I guess it's unanimous.
36
00:01:23,942 --> 00:01:25,681
All right. Are we done?
37
00:01:25,682 --> 00:01:27,781
Well, there is the Larry Dorf issue.
38
00:01:27,782 --> 00:01:29,181
- Ugh.
- Right.
39
00:01:29,182 --> 00:01:30,282
Larry?
40
00:01:32,722 --> 00:01:33,921
Hello, friends.
41
00:01:33,922 --> 00:01:35,161
I wish we didn't have to meet
42
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,621
under such auspicious circumstances.
43
00:01:37,622 --> 00:01:39,361
Do you know what "auspicious" means?
44
00:01:39,362 --> 00:01:41,161
Uh, no, I do not.
45
00:01:41,162 --> 00:01:43,431
Larry, what do you have
to say for yourself?
46
00:01:43,432 --> 00:01:44,631
Oh, I don't know.
47
00:01:44,632 --> 00:01:46,371
I don't want to im-perjure myself.
48
00:01:46,372 --> 00:01:47,571
"Im-perjure"?
49
00:01:47,572 --> 00:01:49,071
All right, um,
50
00:01:49,072 --> 00:01:51,771
I'm gonna read from
the Groundlings brochure.
51
00:01:51,772 --> 00:01:54,371
"Groundlings corporate training
workshops are fun
52
00:01:54,372 --> 00:01:56,381
"and unlike any team-building program
53
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,211
your company has ever experienced."
54
00:01:58,212 --> 00:01:59,481
Okay.
55
00:01:59,482 --> 00:02:02,621
Now I'm gonna read from your brochure.
56
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,891
"Groundlings-style corporate
training workshops are fun
57
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,691
"and unlike any team-building program
58
00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:09,591
your company has ever experienced."
59
00:02:09,592 --> 00:02:11,461
I don't see what the problem is.
60
00:02:11,462 --> 00:02:13,091
Larry, they're the same thing.
61
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,531
No, they're not.
62
00:02:14,532 --> 00:02:17,901
Mine very clearly states
"Groundlings-style,"
63
00:02:17,902 --> 00:02:21,171
thereby differentiating
my company from your company.
64
00:02:21,172 --> 00:02:24,041
You can barely see the word "style."
65
00:02:24,042 --> 00:02:25,671
That's 'cause I don't want
people to get hung up on that.
66
00:02:25,672 --> 00:02:27,471
Larry, you are taking business away
67
00:02:27,472 --> 00:02:29,041
from your own theater company.
68
00:02:29,042 --> 00:02:30,411
It's disgusting.
69
00:02:30,412 --> 00:02:31,511
Is it illegal?
70
00:02:31,512 --> 00:02:33,011
It's unethical.
71
00:02:33,012 --> 00:02:34,651
So not illegal.
72
00:02:34,652 --> 00:02:36,312
Thank you.
73
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:40,991
Are you really not gonna show us
what's in your stupid briefcase?
74
00:02:40,992 --> 00:02:43,522
Uh, this I just got
from the prop room.
75
00:02:50,632 --> 00:02:53,401
This is probably for a sketch
about marbles.
76
00:02:53,402 --> 00:02:56,101
"The Guest House"
is a half-hour comedy
77
00:02:56,102 --> 00:02:58,011
Andrew and I wrote for Comedy Central,
78
00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,671
and we're looking
to add a few writers.
79
00:03:00,672 --> 00:03:03,381
(ANDREW) So mostly kid stuff on here.
80
00:03:03,382 --> 00:03:07,981
Uh, yes, I got my start
in children's animation.
81
00:03:07,982 --> 00:03:09,851
Um... but most recently,
82
00:03:09,852 --> 00:03:12,251
I was writing on a sitcom for CBS.
83
00:03:12,252 --> 00:03:13,651
Oh, which one?
84
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,291
"Open Dorf Policy."
85
00:03:15,292 --> 00:03:17,391
I don't think I've heard of that.
86
00:03:17,392 --> 00:03:18,961
Did it not get picked up?
87
00:03:18,962 --> 00:03:20,531
It got picked up, uh...
88
00:03:20,532 --> 00:03:23,531
but then they...
they changed the title.
89
00:03:23,532 --> 00:03:26,071
Oh. And the cast.
90
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:27,872
And the concept.
91
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,641
And the writers.
92
00:03:30,642 --> 00:03:33,071
- Oh.
- Oh. (CHUCKLES)
93
00:03:33,072 --> 00:03:36,741
Well, um, have you written on a show
94
00:03:36,742 --> 00:03:39,181
that's actually been on the air?
95
00:03:39,182 --> 00:03:42,051
You mean other than "The Fartlemans"?
96
00:03:42,052 --> 00:03:43,351
The, the cartoon. Yeah.
97
00:03:43,352 --> 00:03:45,091
Yeah, like... Like a real show.
98
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:47,591
Um...
99
00:03:47,592 --> 00:03:50,861
I wrote a spec script
for "My Name is Earl"
100
00:03:50,862 --> 00:03:52,761
about ten years ago.
101
00:03:52,762 --> 00:03:55,401
So what sitcoms do you like,
102
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,401
like, just to get a sense
of your comedic tastes,
103
00:03:57,402 --> 00:03:58,731
like what... what do you watch?
104
00:03:58,732 --> 00:04:00,572
Um... "Seinfeld"?
105
00:04:03,342 --> 00:04:06,541
So you're not really
into contemporary comedy.
106
00:04:06,542 --> 00:04:08,741
No, I guess not.
107
00:04:08,742 --> 00:04:10,881
Well, it was nice meeting you.
108
00:04:10,882 --> 00:04:12,042
Yeah.
109
00:04:13,682 --> 00:04:15,251
Hello?
110
00:04:15,252 --> 00:04:18,021
Hi, Hugh, it's Bradley
from Ethan Flaum's office.
111
00:04:18,022 --> 00:04:20,551
Bradley, I really don't want
to talk to Ethan right now.
112
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,161
Oh, actually, I'm just
calling to give you
113
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,461
some feedback from your meeting.
114
00:04:23,462 --> 00:04:25,231
The terrible meeting that I just left?
115
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:27,461
I just spoke with Andrew and Lindsey,
116
00:04:27,462 --> 00:04:29,061
the people you just met with.
117
00:04:29,062 --> 00:04:30,761
Doesn't look like
it's gonna go forward.
118
00:04:30,762 --> 00:04:32,801
Okay, well, it was good
talking to you.
119
00:04:32,802 --> 00:04:35,371
Do you have any feedback for me?
120
00:04:35,372 --> 00:04:36,771
As a junior agent,
121
00:04:36,772 --> 00:04:40,841
any feedback I could get from
you could be super valuable.
122
00:04:40,842 --> 00:04:42,411
You did a great job, Bradley.
123
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:46,751
You told me when and where
the meeting was and...
124
00:04:46,752 --> 00:04:48,981
all I can say is
you exceeded my expectations.
125
00:04:48,982 --> 00:04:50,221
That's great.
126
00:04:50,222 --> 00:04:54,591
I really appreciate that
because Ethan has decided
127
00:04:54,592 --> 00:04:57,661
to give me a few
of his struggling clients,
128
00:04:57,662 --> 00:05:01,191
and that would be you and Larry.
129
00:05:01,192 --> 00:05:03,261
So...
130
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:04,962
congratulations.
131
00:05:08,902 --> 00:05:11,241
Um, I don't know what to say to that.
132
00:05:11,242 --> 00:05:12,611
- Um...
- (PHONE BEEPS)
133
00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:14,541
- Uh, hang on.
- (BEEP)
134
00:05:14,542 --> 00:05:16,181
- I mean, good-bye.
- Buh-by...
135
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,581
Hello?
136
00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:18,651
(LARRY) Are you sitting down?
137
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:19,981
No, are you?
138
00:05:19,982 --> 00:05:21,111
I am.
139
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:23,151
I have a business proposition for you.
140
00:05:23,152 --> 00:05:26,951
How would you like to go
to your great state of Texas,
141
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:30,121
teach improv to a bunch
of businesspeople,
142
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:33,691
one night, all expenses paid,
143
00:05:33,692 --> 00:05:36,061
$1,500 in your pocket?
144
00:05:36,062 --> 00:05:37,301
What are you talking about?
145
00:05:37,302 --> 00:05:39,701
Like a Groundlings
corporate training gig?
146
00:05:39,702 --> 00:05:43,801
Yes, this is like a Groundlings
corporate training gig, exactly.
147
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,611
Yeah, I'll do it.
148
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:46,941
Oh, great.
149
00:05:46,942 --> 00:05:48,511
Wonderful.
150
00:05:48,512 --> 00:05:49,811
(TOILET FLUSHING)
151
00:05:49,812 --> 00:05:51,851
Are you sitting on a toilet?
152
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,182
No.
153
00:05:53,276 --> 00:05:56,559
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
154
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,105
Add a bit of length here
in the sleeve.
155
00:05:58,106 --> 00:05:59,645
That looks perfect.
156
00:05:59,646 --> 00:06:01,706
- Everybody decent?
- I am.
157
00:06:01,707 --> 00:06:04,036
Oh, shame. (CHUCKLES)
158
00:06:04,037 --> 00:06:05,466
Do you have pages?
159
00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:08,576
Yes, I do and they are very
funny because I wrote them.
160
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,706
You look so handsome.
161
00:06:10,707 --> 00:06:12,476
This is for the Independent
Spirit Awards.
162
00:06:12,477 --> 00:06:15,416
- What do you think?
- Mmm, gorgie.
163
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,646
Hey, Mark-Paul.
164
00:06:16,647 --> 00:06:17,786
Can you go to the stage for a second?
165
00:06:17,787 --> 00:06:18,816
They're rehearsing the diner scene.
166
00:06:18,817 --> 00:06:19,886
Mm-hmm, yeah.
167
00:06:19,887 --> 00:06:20,916
- We good?
- Good, yes.
168
00:06:20,917 --> 00:06:21,986
Thank you. Very good.
169
00:06:21,987 --> 00:06:23,156
(BITSY) There we go.
170
00:06:23,157 --> 00:06:25,456
Rachel, darling, really quickly.
171
00:06:25,457 --> 00:06:28,396
I want to coordinate Mark-Paul's
necktie with your gown.
172
00:06:28,397 --> 00:06:29,996
What color are you wearing
to the awards show?
173
00:06:29,997 --> 00:06:32,566
Just a simple black dress,
you know, nothing fancy.
174
00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:33,866
A black dress?
175
00:06:33,867 --> 00:06:35,366
It's not a cocktail party, darling.
176
00:06:35,367 --> 00:06:37,166
It's a red carpet, you're
going to be photographed.
177
00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:38,366
You need to pop.
178
00:06:38,367 --> 00:06:41,576
No, I... I don't want to pop,
I'm just gonna blend in.
179
00:06:41,577 --> 00:06:42,736
Darling...
180
00:06:42,737 --> 00:06:44,006
this is the first time
the public will meet
181
00:06:44,007 --> 00:06:45,846
Mark-Paul Gosselaar's girlfriend.
182
00:06:45,847 --> 00:06:47,046
You can't blend in.
183
00:06:47,047 --> 00:06:48,946
This is your Amal Clooney moment.
184
00:06:48,947 --> 00:06:50,276
You need to bring it.
185
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,616
Um...
186
00:06:51,617 --> 00:06:53,086
I mean, look at you.
187
00:06:53,087 --> 00:06:54,446
You show up at work each day,
188
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:56,616
you don't even bother
putting on makeup.
189
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:57,917
I'm wearing makeup.
190
00:06:59,357 --> 00:07:00,726
I have very sensitive skin,
191
00:07:00,727 --> 00:07:02,956
so I can't war lots of makeup
or I break out.
192
00:07:02,957 --> 00:07:04,297
You make me so sad.
193
00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:09,096
(HUGH) Well, after a stop
194
00:07:09,097 --> 00:07:13,106
at Salt Lake City and Phoenix,
195
00:07:13,107 --> 00:07:15,636
and then a long cab ride
from the Austin airport,
196
00:07:15,637 --> 00:07:17,876
at least we are staying
in the not-lovely
197
00:07:17,877 --> 00:07:19,947
South Austin Budget Inn.
198
00:07:23,347 --> 00:07:26,616
Hey, uh, where's my room?
Give me my key.
199
00:07:26,617 --> 00:07:28,047
Oh, um...
200
00:07:29,287 --> 00:07:30,786
We have to share a room.
201
00:07:30,787 --> 00:07:32,326
When did Groundlings get so cheap?
202
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,426
I'm gonna call the theater.
203
00:07:33,427 --> 00:07:34,956
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
204
00:07:34,957 --> 00:07:38,066
This is actually not
a Groundlings gig.
205
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:39,926
It's a Groundlings-style gig.
206
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,136
My God, Larry.
207
00:07:42,137 --> 00:07:43,536
What have you gotten me into?
208
00:07:43,537 --> 00:07:44,806
This is better!
209
00:07:44,807 --> 00:07:46,506
This way we get to split the profits.
210
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:47,566
There's no overhead.
211
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,076
You wanna go home with the money,
212
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:51,106
you don't want to spend it
on a direct flight
213
00:07:51,107 --> 00:07:52,346
or a nice hotel.
214
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:55,846
If you are so desperate
to scrimp and save,
215
00:07:55,847 --> 00:07:58,086
why didn't you just
do this job yourself
216
00:07:58,087 --> 00:07:59,586
and keep all the money?
217
00:07:59,587 --> 00:08:01,616
Because I don't know
how to teach improv.
218
00:08:01,617 --> 00:08:04,286
I know how to get the job,
I don't know how to do the job.
219
00:08:04,287 --> 00:08:05,356
(SIGHS)
220
00:08:05,357 --> 00:08:06,826
This'll be fun!
221
00:08:06,827 --> 00:08:09,656
What, you can't go one night
without masturbating?
222
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:10,926
- Are you addicted?
- (SIGHS)
223
00:08:10,927 --> 00:08:12,466
Come on.
224
00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:14,596
Give it a chance, buddy, old pal.
225
00:08:14,597 --> 00:08:17,336
Whoo, that's a smell, huh?
226
00:08:17,337 --> 00:08:18,706
- (BEN) So.
- (RACHEL) Yeah.
227
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:19,966
Let's get into it.
228
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,476
Why did Rach need to see
B-Dog the Tree Frog?
229
00:08:22,477 --> 00:08:24,676
Okay, so I'm going to
the Independent Spirit Awards.
230
00:08:24,677 --> 00:08:27,006
Oh, right, Mark-Paul is
nominated for that movie
231
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,446
about the guy who can't
go out in the sunlight.
232
00:08:28,447 --> 00:08:29,546
"The Boy in the Dark."
233
00:08:29,547 --> 00:08:31,316
- Mmm, so good.
- You saw it?
234
00:08:31,317 --> 00:08:33,646
- Mm-mm.
- No, I didn't either.
235
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,456
Just...
236
00:08:35,457 --> 00:08:37,686
I don't know, I'm nervous
about the red carpet.
237
00:08:37,687 --> 00:08:38,856
What is that like?
238
00:08:38,857 --> 00:08:41,556
You know, walking next to a celebrity?
239
00:08:41,557 --> 00:08:43,926
You mean what's it like,
uh, walking the red carpet
240
00:08:43,927 --> 00:08:45,496
with another celebrity like me?
241
00:08:45,497 --> 00:08:47,326
No, like, what's it like for you,
242
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,236
like, walking with a celebrity?
243
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,896
Oh, like walking the red carpet
244
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:52,836
with lots of celebrities like me.
245
00:08:52,837 --> 00:08:54,366
Yeah, mm-hmm.
246
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,476
- Can I give you a piece of advice?
- Yes.
247
00:08:56,477 --> 00:08:57,736
Red-carpet advice that I heard
248
00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:59,506
from none other than Dame Judi Dench?
249
00:08:59,507 --> 00:09:01,146
- Oh, my God.
- She said...
250
00:09:01,147 --> 00:09:05,686
"Sometimes, people don't
know what it is you bring,
251
00:09:05,687 --> 00:09:09,016
so bring everything you
think they will want."
252
00:09:09,017 --> 00:09:12,556
And when the photographers
yell "for fashion,"
253
00:09:12,557 --> 00:09:14,186
that is usually for the women
254
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:15,596
and they want a head-to-toe shot,
255
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,356
they wanna see the whole dress,
256
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,496
so get those dogs out of the barn
257
00:09:19,497 --> 00:09:20,826
and throw it at the camera.
258
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:24,866
Act like I'm... somebody.
259
00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:26,006
Oh, it's gonna be great.
260
00:09:26,007 --> 00:09:27,467
You're so beautiful in your own way.
261
00:09:28,707 --> 00:09:30,606
Yeah, mm-hmm.
262
00:09:30,607 --> 00:09:32,177
(TOILET FLUSHING)
263
00:09:33,477 --> 00:09:36,046
Oh, no! Come on, don't get sleepy!
264
00:09:36,047 --> 00:09:37,576
We gotta go out.
265
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,086
You gotta show me around your Austin.
266
00:09:40,087 --> 00:09:41,246
I'm from San Antonio.
267
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,856
I don't know anything about Austin.
268
00:09:42,857 --> 00:09:44,116
You just don't want to go out
269
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,826
because you can go out
anytime you want.
270
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:47,086
Oh, that's right.
271
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,226
That's the joy of being
all alone in this world,
272
00:09:49,227 --> 00:09:50,926
you can go out whenever
you want and no one cares.
273
00:09:50,927 --> 00:09:52,196
One drink.
274
00:09:52,197 --> 00:09:54,466
Oh, God, all right.
275
00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:55,836
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
276
00:09:55,837 --> 00:09:57,966
That's the spirit.
Ooh, hold on one second.
277
00:09:57,967 --> 00:09:59,166
Hey!
278
00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:01,036
Hi! We miss you!
279
00:10:01,037 --> 00:10:02,606
I miss you guys.
280
00:10:02,607 --> 00:10:05,176
How are the boys, how are the babies?
281
00:10:05,177 --> 00:10:07,306
Lihuan is putting Connor
and Ryder to sleep,
282
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,316
and Jack and Elliot
are both in a time-out
283
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,376
because they peed on each other.
284
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,246
(LARRY LAUGHS)
285
00:10:12,247 --> 00:10:14,586
But I'm finally getting
a chance to sit down.
286
00:10:14,587 --> 00:10:15,756
How was your flight?
287
00:10:15,757 --> 00:10:17,056
It was good.
288
00:10:17,057 --> 00:10:19,357
I got some pilot's wings for the boys.
289
00:10:20,627 --> 00:10:21,956
How's the hotel?
290
00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:24,096
You know, it's a good hotel.
291
00:10:24,097 --> 00:10:25,896
Hugh, what do you think of the hotel?
292
00:10:25,897 --> 00:10:27,127
Hugh?
293
00:10:28,197 --> 00:10:29,636
Hugh!
294
00:10:29,637 --> 00:10:30,896
Say hi to Jen.
295
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:32,066
Huh? What?
296
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,336
Hi, Hugh!
297
00:10:33,337 --> 00:10:35,476
Oh, hi.
298
00:10:35,477 --> 00:10:37,836
He's crabby 'cause
he hasn't had a drink yet.
299
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:40,006
Well, I better let you go.
300
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,646
I love you.
301
00:10:42,647 --> 00:10:44,647
Oh, I love you. Bye!
302
00:10:45,747 --> 00:10:47,186
(PHONE BEEPS)
303
00:10:47,187 --> 00:10:50,986
You know what, I just got
a sudden wave of tiredness.
304
00:10:50,987 --> 00:10:52,656
Maybe we stay in?
305
00:10:52,657 --> 00:10:54,186
Yeah, you're right, we don't need
306
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,587
to waste a bunch of money at a bar.
307
00:10:59,527 --> 00:11:02,096
Maybe we'll just watch some TV.
308
00:11:02,097 --> 00:11:03,696
Ooh, maybe we'll rent a porno.
309
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,506
Is that weird?
310
00:11:05,507 --> 00:11:06,937
Super.
311
00:11:08,607 --> 00:11:09,776
What about this one?
312
00:11:09,777 --> 00:11:11,446
Aren't you supposed to wear,
like, a fancy gown
313
00:11:11,447 --> 00:11:12,706
with red sparkles?
314
00:11:12,707 --> 00:11:15,416
When have you ever seen me
in a gown with red sparkles?
315
00:11:15,417 --> 00:11:16,946
(MARK-PAUL) Okay, how's it going?
316
00:11:16,947 --> 00:11:18,816
Good, so good. Yeah?
317
00:11:18,817 --> 00:11:20,786
You know, the car's gonna
be here in a few hours.
318
00:11:20,787 --> 00:11:21,816
Oh, yeah.
319
00:11:21,817 --> 00:11:23,116
Okay.
320
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,656
What are we watching, kiddo?
321
00:11:24,657 --> 00:11:25,786
Nickelodeon.
322
00:11:25,787 --> 00:11:27,026
Nickelodeon?
323
00:11:27,027 --> 00:11:28,296
You gonna watch
the awards show tonight?
324
00:11:28,297 --> 00:11:29,526
I don't know.
325
00:11:29,527 --> 00:11:31,766
You don't know? Hmm.
326
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:34,496
Well, I guess I gotta
make a deal with you.
327
00:11:34,497 --> 00:11:37,036
If I win, which is pretty
unlikely, but if I do win,
328
00:11:37,037 --> 00:11:38,866
and I'm up there and I'm giving
my acceptance speech,
329
00:11:38,867 --> 00:11:40,706
and I'm thanking all the nobodies,
330
00:11:40,707 --> 00:11:42,306
you know, I really want
to thank somebody
331
00:11:42,307 --> 00:11:45,506
who matters to me, which would be you,
332
00:11:45,507 --> 00:11:48,746
so what if we had a secret
signal that I gave you,
333
00:11:48,747 --> 00:11:52,016
like, I don't know,
maybe I could tap my head,
334
00:11:52,017 --> 00:11:53,816
kind of make it look
like I'm thinking.
335
00:11:53,817 --> 00:11:57,216
But what if that really meant
"thank you, Lois"?
336
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,986
Really? Really!
337
00:11:58,987 --> 00:12:00,286
If I win.
338
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:01,996
'Cause I'm up against Ryan Reynolds.
339
00:12:01,997 --> 00:12:04,626
He did an Australian accent.
That's really hard.
340
00:12:04,627 --> 00:12:06,296
Yeah.
341
00:12:06,297 --> 00:12:07,896
Thank you, Lois.
342
00:12:07,897 --> 00:12:10,496
- Promise?
- I promise.
343
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,397
Okay, I'll leave you girls alone.
344
00:12:13,837 --> 00:12:15,407
That was really sweet, wasn't it?
345
00:12:16,607 --> 00:12:18,246
Okay, what about this one?
346
00:12:18,247 --> 00:12:20,946
That looks the same as the first one.
347
00:12:20,947 --> 00:12:23,046
Okay, I'm calling Daddy.
348
00:12:23,047 --> 00:12:25,746
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
349
00:12:25,747 --> 00:12:27,216
Hey.
350
00:12:27,217 --> 00:12:28,916
Hey, are you busy?
351
00:12:28,917 --> 00:12:30,286
Mmm, kinda, why?
352
00:12:30,287 --> 00:12:31,586
I need to find a dress
353
00:12:31,587 --> 00:12:33,886
for the Independent Spirit
Awards right now.
354
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,596
Okay, don't panic.
355
00:12:35,597 --> 00:12:37,626
We will zip over to Barneys,
356
00:12:37,627 --> 00:12:39,266
we'll get something sleek and sexy,
357
00:12:39,267 --> 00:12:40,896
and if we're lucky,
we'll still have time
358
00:12:40,897 --> 00:12:42,566
to share a chopped
chicken salad at Fred's.
359
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:43,937
Thank you.
360
00:12:45,707 --> 00:12:48,906
See, hon? That's why you
gotta marry a gay guy.
361
00:12:48,907 --> 00:12:50,706
Well...
362
00:12:50,707 --> 00:12:52,946
Yeah, first husband.
363
00:12:52,947 --> 00:12:56,776
Now, these old boys right here
are from the Groundlings.
364
00:12:56,777 --> 00:13:00,846
Now, that's a very famous
comedy outfit out of Hollywood,
365
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,256
and now, like I told you,
366
00:13:02,257 --> 00:13:05,086
a lot of very famous folks have
come from the Groundlings,
367
00:13:05,087 --> 00:13:07,756
including Will Ferrell,
Melissa McCarthy,
368
00:13:07,757 --> 00:13:11,226
Kristen Wiig, Pee-wee Herman,
369
00:13:11,227 --> 00:13:13,366
and Flo from the Progressive
commercials.
370
00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:15,866
That lady has nice bosoms.
371
00:13:15,867 --> 00:13:18,266
That's another trip to HR
for you, Julio.
372
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:19,406
Thank you.
373
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,636
Now, we got two of those
groundlings right here
374
00:13:21,637 --> 00:13:25,776
in Austin, Texas to teach us
how to do some improv.
375
00:13:25,777 --> 00:13:27,176
So, without further ado,
376
00:13:27,177 --> 00:13:29,116
let's give a big Texas
welcome to Larry Dorf!
377
00:13:29,117 --> 00:13:31,277
- Larry, come on up here, son.
- (HUGH CHUCKLES)
378
00:13:35,387 --> 00:13:37,516
You're a cement company.
379
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,226
You make cement.
380
00:13:39,227 --> 00:13:43,857
Now, you're probably thinking,
why do I need to learn improv?
381
00:13:45,927 --> 00:13:47,497
Hugh?
382
00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:54,136
Uh, hi.
383
00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:56,006
Um...
384
00:13:56,007 --> 00:14:00,146
Improv will, uh, in fact,
help you in your communication
385
00:14:00,147 --> 00:14:02,316
and hopefully in your...
in your business.
386
00:14:02,317 --> 00:14:03,846
And probably the cornerstone of it
387
00:14:03,847 --> 00:14:06,816
is to say "yes and" to ideas,
388
00:14:06,817 --> 00:14:08,656
rather than, "no, I have my own idea."
389
00:14:08,657 --> 00:14:12,526
So for example, when Larry
put me on the spot
390
00:14:12,527 --> 00:14:15,326
and made me entirely responsible
391
00:14:15,327 --> 00:14:18,466
for describing to you
the purpose of our visit here,
392
00:14:18,467 --> 00:14:22,636
my human instinct might be
to say, "no, go to hell,
393
00:14:22,637 --> 00:14:24,196
you explain it, Larry,"
394
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:28,166
but the improv part of me
can say, "yes and," Larry,
395
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,736
and I'll come out here
and I'll stand before you
396
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,346
and assume responsibility,
397
00:14:32,347 --> 00:14:34,677
so "yes and" is gonna be our thing.
398
00:14:36,177 --> 00:14:38,176
? I've got electric juice
in my guitar... ?
399
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:39,346
Mark! Mark!
400
00:14:39,347 --> 00:14:40,546
Over here! Right here!
401
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,816
(WOMAN) For fashion!
402
00:14:41,817 --> 00:14:42,986
Oh, I know what that is.
403
00:14:42,987 --> 00:14:44,656
I got it, you're good.
404
00:14:44,657 --> 00:14:45,726
(PHOTOGRAPHERS)
Mark-Paul! Mark-Paul, Mark-Paul!
405
00:14:45,727 --> 00:14:47,326
I don't know who did my dress.
406
00:14:47,327 --> 00:14:49,226
My ex-husband picked it out
at Barneys.
407
00:14:49,227 --> 00:14:51,296
His husband paid for it.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
408
00:14:51,297 --> 00:14:53,026
I don't know who did my shoes.
409
00:14:53,027 --> 00:14:54,666
Let's see real fast.
410
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:57,366
I wore 'em to my cousin's
bat mitzvah, but it doesn't...
411
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:58,566
They're super comfy.
412
00:14:58,567 --> 00:14:59,906
Mark-Paul! Mark-Paul...
413
00:14:59,907 --> 00:15:01,437
Oh.
414
00:15:02,607 --> 00:15:04,076
Oh. Oh, my God.
415
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:05,406
We're twins!
416
00:15:05,407 --> 00:15:06,476
(LAUGHS)
417
00:15:06,477 --> 00:15:07,607
Sure we are.
418
00:15:09,017 --> 00:15:10,946
Yes, and the water was cold.
419
00:15:10,947 --> 00:15:13,786
Yes, and you got out of the water
420
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:14,886
'cause it was too cold.
421
00:15:14,887 --> 00:15:16,716
Yes, and I put on a blanket.
422
00:15:16,717 --> 00:15:18,756
Yes, but then the blanket got wet,
423
00:15:18,757 --> 00:15:20,486
so then you had to... Yes. "Yes and."
424
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,296
Sorry, "yes and," not "yes but."
425
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,796
Yes, and...
426
00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:25,396
Um... (CLEARING THROAT)
427
00:15:25,397 --> 00:15:26,726
Whatever's on the top of your head,
428
00:15:26,727 --> 00:15:27,796
whatever you're thinking of right now.
429
00:15:27,797 --> 00:15:28,866
My daughter.
430
00:15:28,867 --> 00:15:30,496
Yes and my daughter.
431
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,866
My daughter hasn't spoken
to me in 14 years
432
00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:35,806
because she blames me
for her brother's death.
433
00:15:35,807 --> 00:15:38,346
Yes, and she blames you
for her brother's death
434
00:15:38,347 --> 00:15:40,106
because you murdered her brother.
435
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,746
No, I-I-I didn't murder him,
436
00:15:41,747 --> 00:15:44,246
he drowned in the Guadalupe River.
437
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:45,816
Yes, and he drowned
in the Guadalupe River.
438
00:15:45,817 --> 00:15:47,716
(SOBBING) Right, Hugh?
439
00:15:47,717 --> 00:15:48,956
She has to say "yes and."
440
00:15:48,957 --> 00:15:50,216
Julio, I believe this is real.
441
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,786
Yes, and he drowned
in the Guadalupe River,
442
00:15:52,787 --> 00:15:54,926
and I do blame myself.
443
00:15:54,927 --> 00:15:55,996
(SOBBING)
444
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,296
Uh, hey, Larry?
445
00:15:57,297 --> 00:15:58,896
How about maybe you do something
446
00:15:58,897 --> 00:16:00,466
besides be on your phone?
447
00:16:00,467 --> 00:16:01,566
Yes.
448
00:16:01,567 --> 00:16:03,796
Yes and we are out of time.
449
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,436
(SOBBING)
450
00:16:05,437 --> 00:16:09,606
And if you could just remember
to use this improv training
451
00:16:09,607 --> 00:16:12,776
as you, you know, make cement,
452
00:16:12,777 --> 00:16:15,976
everything is just gonna
be way better.
453
00:16:15,977 --> 00:16:17,576
(SOBBING)
454
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,977
So thank you so much.
455
00:16:21,757 --> 00:16:23,956
Pretty easy way to make
3,000 bucks, huh?
456
00:16:23,957 --> 00:16:25,456
How nice of you to give me half,
457
00:16:25,457 --> 00:16:27,986
considering I did all of the work.
458
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,756
That was amazing, boys.
459
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:31,926
I'm gonna tell you what,
460
00:16:31,927 --> 00:16:33,766
I really think it made a difference.
461
00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:36,336
Oh, and by the way, Larry...
(CLEARS THROAT)
462
00:16:36,337 --> 00:16:38,096
- ...here's your check.
- Thank you.
463
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:40,606
Best $12,000 I ever did spend.
464
00:16:40,607 --> 00:16:42,507
(LAUGHING) Golly.
465
00:16:50,117 --> 00:16:51,516
(WHISPERING) I'm so nervous.
466
00:16:51,517 --> 00:16:53,686
Don't be. I'm not gonna win.
467
00:16:53,687 --> 00:16:56,656
(ANNOUNCER) To present the
award for Best Male Lead,
468
00:16:56,657 --> 00:16:59,517
the Emmy-nominated Sarah Chalke.
469
00:17:02,697 --> 00:17:06,426
A man who can't go into the sun
due to a rare disease.
470
00:17:06,427 --> 00:17:08,796
A father, who, due to a rare disease,
471
00:17:08,797 --> 00:17:11,236
loses his ability to speak.
472
00:17:11,237 --> 00:17:15,806
A rancher stricken by an incurable
disease that is also rare
473
00:17:15,807 --> 00:17:18,336
fights to save his family's
home in the outback.
474
00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:20,476
- Okay.
- No, I love that one.
475
00:17:20,477 --> 00:17:21,846
And a perfectly healthy soldier
476
00:17:21,847 --> 00:17:24,216
who sacrifices everything
for his mother,
477
00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:27,486
who's also battling a rare
and incurable disease.
478
00:17:27,487 --> 00:17:31,556
And the nominees
for best male lead are...
479
00:17:31,557 --> 00:17:33,556
Ryan Reynolds, "The Hometowners."
480
00:17:33,557 --> 00:17:36,126
(APPLAUSE)
481
00:17:36,127 --> 00:17:39,066
Mark Ruffalo, "The 12 Days of Winter."
482
00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:42,566
(APPLAUSE)
483
00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:44,866
Mark-Paul Gosselaar,
"The Boy in the Dark."
484
00:17:44,867 --> 00:17:49,176
(APPLAUSE)
485
00:17:49,177 --> 00:17:51,946
And Demi�n Bichir, "Lo Siento, Mama."
486
00:17:51,947 --> 00:17:53,206
- What?
- Mmm.
487
00:17:53,207 --> 00:17:56,746
And the Independent Spirit Award
goes to...
488
00:17:56,747 --> 00:17:59,686
Mark-Paul Gosselaar,
"The Boy in the Dark"!
489
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:00,746
Ah!
490
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,971
Oh, yeah!
491
00:18:01,972 --> 00:18:04,561
(ANNOUNCER) This is Mark-Paul Gosselaar's
first Independent Spirit Award
492
00:18:04,562 --> 00:18:05,917
and third nomination.
493
00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:10,226
Thank you, oh, my God.
494
00:18:10,227 --> 00:18:11,396
Uh...
495
00:18:11,397 --> 00:18:12,966
Wow, this is...
496
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,996
I'm... I was not expecting this.
497
00:18:15,997 --> 00:18:17,936
Uh, this thing's heavy.
498
00:18:17,937 --> 00:18:20,206
Um, uh, this is such an honor
499
00:18:20,207 --> 00:18:23,706
to even be mentioned
among such talented actors.
500
00:18:23,707 --> 00:18:26,406
Wow. I am unprepared.
501
00:18:26,407 --> 00:18:30,216
First, I'd like to thank
the insanely talented
502
00:18:30,217 --> 00:18:34,546
writer-director Hillary Wentz
for making this important film.
503
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:37,516
(APPLAUSE)
We need more voices like you.
504
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,956
I'd also like to thank
my agent Marci Janetti
505
00:18:40,957 --> 00:18:43,156
and everyone at CAA,
506
00:18:43,157 --> 00:18:46,766
and I'd also like to thank
my lawyer Bob Rosenthal,
507
00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:48,266
are you out there, Bob?
508
00:18:48,267 --> 00:18:50,096
Guys, really, I was not
expecting to be here,
509
00:18:50,097 --> 00:18:52,806
so I just don't want
to forget anybody. Um...
510
00:18:52,807 --> 00:18:55,436
Tap your head,
please tap your head for Lois.
511
00:18:55,437 --> 00:18:57,406
Of course.
512
00:18:57,407 --> 00:18:59,446
My beautiful girlfriend.
513
00:18:59,447 --> 00:19:01,746
Rachel, I love you.
514
00:19:01,747 --> 00:19:04,076
And, uh, I think that's...
515
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:07,286
Oh, how could I forget?
516
00:19:07,287 --> 00:19:09,856
Pay attention, here it comes.
517
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,386
The most important,
the most important "thank you"
518
00:19:11,387 --> 00:19:15,056
goes out to each and every one
of you and all my fans.
519
00:19:15,057 --> 00:19:16,826
Thank you so much
for making this happen.
520
00:19:16,827 --> 00:19:18,327
(APPLAUSE)
521
00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:24,167
- Great speech.
- Thanks.
522
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,329
I mean, what would possess you
523
00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:38,669
to book our return flight
at 11:50 p.m.
524
00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:41,869
I did not even know they offered
red-eyes that went west.
525
00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:43,909
Well, first it goes east.
526
00:19:43,910 --> 00:19:46,809
First, we go to Charlotte,
then we go west,
527
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,410
to Las Vegas, and then we go home.
528
00:19:50,780 --> 00:19:52,149
So I was thinking about it
529
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,549
and I do want to give you
half the money.
530
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:56,019
Why? Because that's what
you said you were gonna do?
531
00:19:56,020 --> 00:20:00,159
Partly, but also because
you deserve it.
532
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,059
No, you keep it.
You need it more than I do.
533
00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:05,259
And... honestly,
534
00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:07,729
I was just glad to get away from...
535
00:20:07,730 --> 00:20:08,636
Is that Rachel?
536
00:20:08,637 --> 00:20:10,455
(WOMAN ON TV) We're here
with Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
537
00:20:10,456 --> 00:20:12,221
Mark-Paul, you were
nominated for the film
538
00:20:12,222 --> 00:20:13,561
"The Boy in the Dark."
539
00:20:13,562 --> 00:20:14,821
"The Boy in the Dark," yes.
540
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,731
It's a very, very important film.
541
00:20:16,732 --> 00:20:18,761
Well, congratulations.
Thank you so much.
542
00:20:18,762 --> 00:20:20,931
So tell us, who is this
lovely lady on your arm?
543
00:20:20,932 --> 00:20:23,071
This is my beautiful
and talented girlfriend
544
00:20:23,072 --> 00:20:24,171
Rachel Ramras.
545
00:20:24,172 --> 00:20:25,801
Yeah, I'm not beautiful.
546
00:20:25,802 --> 00:20:27,741
I mean, I'm not, like, ugly,
I'm not, like, a gargoyle.
547
00:20:27,742 --> 00:20:29,411
I'm just, you know... I'm just...
548
00:20:29,412 --> 00:20:30,841
You know, and I'm not so talented.
549
00:20:30,842 --> 00:20:32,511
I'm like, fine talented,
very average talented,
550
00:20:32,512 --> 00:20:33,841
I'm not, like, the most
talented person in the world.
551
00:20:33,842 --> 00:20:35,711
This sounds pretty serious.
552
00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:39,981
Well, she did just
move in with me, so.
553
00:20:39,982 --> 00:20:43,451
Wow, that's one step away
from wedding bells.
554
00:20:43,452 --> 00:20:44,991
Congratulations, you two.
555
00:20:44,992 --> 00:20:46,852
Thank you so much, thank you so much.
556
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:50,061
Wow, I didn't know
they moved in together.
557
00:20:50,062 --> 00:20:52,031
Did you?
558
00:20:52,032 --> 00:20:53,961
- No.
- Huh.
559
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:57,431
(MAN ON PA) American Airlines,
Flight 1471 to Charlotte
560
00:20:57,432 --> 00:20:59,671
is now pre-boarding at Gate 22.
561
00:20:59,672 --> 00:21:01,572
That is us.
562
00:21:03,172 --> 00:21:05,341
What? We're all settled up.
563
00:21:05,342 --> 00:21:07,341
You know, I'm... I'm...
564
00:21:07,342 --> 00:21:10,752
I think I might just
hang out for a bit.
565
00:21:12,152 --> 00:21:13,521
Like, in this bar?
566
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,991
No, like, in Texas.
567
00:21:15,992 --> 00:21:17,651
I haven't been here in a long time.
568
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:20,321
Maybe I'll just kinda...
569
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:22,561
stay.
570
00:21:22,562 --> 00:21:23,991
For how long?
571
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:26,232
I don't know.
572
00:21:28,002 --> 00:21:30,031
Well, I should get going
573
00:21:30,032 --> 00:21:32,841
just 'cause I should
get back to my family.
574
00:21:32,842 --> 00:21:35,101
Yeah, yeah, go.
575
00:21:35,102 --> 00:21:37,242
Okay. You're...
576
00:21:38,842 --> 00:21:40,411
You're okay. You're all right?
577
00:21:40,412 --> 00:21:42,082
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay. (CLEARS THROAT)
578
00:21:45,822 --> 00:21:50,052
? When she asked if she
could come with me again ?
579
00:21:52,022 --> 00:21:53,821
? This was my reply ?
580
00:21:53,822 --> 00:21:55,531
Excuse me, sir?
581
00:21:55,532 --> 00:21:57,191
Could I get one more of these, please?
582
00:21:57,192 --> 00:22:00,531
? Single, no return ?
583
00:22:00,532 --> 00:22:02,571
? My bridges burn ?
584
00:22:02,572 --> 00:22:05,601
? But everything that I have learned ?
585
00:22:05,602 --> 00:22:07,871
? Points to this one thing ?
586
00:22:07,872 --> 00:22:10,102
? Single, no return... ??
587
00:22:10,334 --> 00:22:16,434
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588
00:22:16,484 --> 00:22:21,034
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