All language subtitles for New Girl s06e03 Single and Sufficient.eng

I am so excited about
this glamping trip.

Sleeping bags are for
hobos and children.

WINSTON: I am so pumped for this trip.

Aly and I figured out how many
times we would have had sex

since we've been apart,
and it's a whole bunch.

And we're gonna play
catch-up on all of it.

All 52 times.

I am about to take
Aly to Mount Smushmore.

Know what I'm saying? [laughs]

Aw. That's lovely.

We need to invite other people.

- What about Nick?
- No, he can't.

He has some big writing weekend.

Wants me to give him notes on his novel.

He has all the pages in
some large freezer bag.

It's a hard presentation
to get excited about.

You know who would really want to come?

[groans]

I am in!

Do you want me to bring my
retractable s'mores pole?

Is that the car antenna that you've
been putting in the dishwasher?

That is a low-level mystery
that is driving me insane.

- Making him crazy.
- It's really handy.

All right, Jess. So just
a quick warning, okay?

This is a pretty couple-y's trip, and...

you know, we just don't want
you to feel like a third wheel.

- Yeah.
- Oh. I have people I can bring.

You...

I joined a singles group.

You're meeting new people.

- I think that's great.
- [quietly]: Oh, my.

It's actually...

a group of all singles dedicated

- to keeping each other single.
- Wow.

I think they could
probably come on the trip.

Emotionally, they may not be available,

but socially, they're available as hell.

[quietly]: Just talk
to her really quickly.

- You know what?
- Oh, you're already texting people.

They're probably not...

- They're in!
- Oh!

All of them! [laughing]

Honestly, they would have
gone to the DMV with you,

if you had asked.

[laughing]

Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
wwww.addic7ed.com

[inhales] [yells]

How long have you been standing there?

[whines]

What happened to you?

The Pepperwood Chronicles,
that's what happened to me.

- So it's really that bad.
- Nick.

This book...

is magnificent.

What?

Julius Pepperwood?

A hard-boiled Chicago cop
turned New Orleans detective,

racing around on fan-boats,

drowning that two-faced DA
in a bucket of jambalaya.

Yeah. Right in the jambalaya.

Finding John F. Kennedy...

alive?

That wasn't too far?

It's a masterpiece, Nick.

Is that my whiteboard?

- You said I could have it.
- Well, we both know that's not true,

but if it helps you get
more of this story out,

then, yes, you are welcome to it.

Well, all right, Schmidt,
hit me; I want your notes.

No notes!

- No notes?
- No notes.

- No notes?!
- No notes.

- No notes!
- No notes.

No notes!

No notes. It's perfect, Nick.

I want another chapter by
the time I get back on Sunday.

Then I guess it's time
for me to get to work.

My little wobbly-nosed Michael Chabon.

[both laugh]

- Hey, congratulations.
- Thank you, man.

I, uh... Thank you. I needed it.

I'm a writer.

[shrieks] 'Sup?

[both laughing]

[smooching] ALY: I love you. I
miss you. I love you. I miss you.

You clearly didn't get my text,

because your pants are still on.

[grunts]

[whooping] So excited about this.

Hey, Aly! Oh!

Your bra's already off. Okay.

We're out the door.

None of this in my car, please.

I just had it shampooed.

Jess.

I called ahead and got
us an early yurt check-in.

- Oh.
- Beep-beep.

People about to have sex coming through.

WINSTON: Look out. Aren't you coming?

Actually, I'm gonna go with my group.

We rented a van. It has
a built-in microwave.

We're all really stoked about it.

You're not making me feel any better

about this group of strangers.

Well, it's not all strangers.

Some of them are friends! [laughing]

- Robby?
- My Robby?

Yeah. I got here way too early,
so I've just been standing outside,

kind of waiting for my
opportunity to enter.

How'd I do?

Robby, are you in this group?

- [snorts]
- [laughing]: Is he in the group?

Robby is the founder, president,

and secretary of the group.

I formed the group
after Nadia dumped me.

I always use two sugars.

My mom says 'cause
I'm so sweet, you know.

Oh, whoa!

I didn't want to be alone,

but I also didn't want
to be in a relationship.

And that's when he got the
idea to bring people together

to help each other stay single.

Yeah, we meet weekly

for non-romantic companionship.

- But most of all, we just have fun.
- Yeah.

Like last week, we shut
down this Korean barbecue.

We paid with 13 different credit cards,

and we were asked to
never come back again.

It was epic!

- That sounds awesome.
- Oh, man.

It's a really cool group,
and we have our own motto.

BOTH: "I'm single and I'm sufficient."

- That's I-S-I-S. That's ISIS.
- Th-that's ISIS.

- Oh, my God.
- You're asking people to join ISIS.

- No, n-n-n-n-n-n-no.
- As communication czar

- I should have caught that.
- Yeah.

Isn't this group

just a painfully transparent
stall until you meet someone?

- Being single is a choice.
- Yeah.

- Don't single-shame.
- What is single-shame?

- No, honey. He was not single-shaming you.
- I-I wasn't...

- That was not his intention at all.
- I don't even know what that is.

Couples always try to
talk down to singles.

We can do everything
that you guys can do.

I take myself out for a
dessert date every Sunday.

Yeah, and yesterday, I had a backache,

and I rubbed it myself, in a doorjamb.

This is bummin' me out.

Is this group gonna
be a bummer? Be honest.

Absolutely not.

There's Brenda.

She's a circuit court judge

who also teaches
taxidermy class for kids.

And Hugh. He grows his own onions.

My former boss and current friend,

Principal Foster.

His hip surgeon has okayed him for sex,

but he hasn't okayed himself.

And of course, Robby, our leader.

Have you ever seen a group more ready

to have fun with themselves?

[cheering]

[horse hooves clopping]

Just look at this view;
we needed this so badly.

It's-it's perfect.

Is it, though?

[camera shutters clicking]

Can you stop hogging the vista?

There are other people who
would like to take a photo.

I don't want to lose this light.

It's a traditional high-noon.

Don't couple-splain light to us.

It just seems like it would be easier

- if you guys took a group photo.
- We actually need

- a picture for our web site,
- Oh, yeah.

So, all right, you
can take a group photo.

All right, let's do this.

Now, I'm only taking one shot,

so if the first one's

a silly one, you're gonna have

to live with a silly one.

Okay. One,

two, three. There we go. Great photo.

I'm gonna need one, too.

Actually, we're all gonna need one.

- What?
- Yeah, we don't share phones

like you people.

Who shares phones?

- How would we call each other?
- I don't know.

I can't do this. This
is... Take these back.

You guys are ruining

a perfectly good vista moment.

Can't you go someplace else
and "enjoy being single"?

[gasps] Did you just quote-hands
"enjoy being single" to us?

You guys are telling each other
that you're happy being this,

when we all know that
you would rather be this.

No. This is jazz hands,

the end of an explosive musical number.

This is O.J. trying to
put on the bloody glove.

This is freedom!

This is flying!

This is praying that
you can go back to this!

This is high fives for everybody!

All around! Yes! [chuckling]

Let's go to the lake, guys. Bye.

FOSTER: I call dibs

- on the slime-free part.
- Okay.

Just enjoy the view. I mean...

This is O.J. putting back on the glove.

No notes.

Okay, just...

just start and see what...
Just start. No notes.

All me.

No notes. What does
"no notes" even mean?!

No notes.

No notes?

Come on.

[chuckles]

Nick, I'm communing with
nature, and I'm almost at peace.

What do you want?

No notes?

- Seriously?
- It is just so nice

to get out of the city and watch TV.

What about this dumb thing?
When Pepperwood just watches

- a block of local news.
- Oh, I found that part

to be gutting, Nick. I mean, the irony

that Pepperwood's violent
world is being translated

into sound bites for mass consumption...

That's just me
transcribing Channel 3 News!

I didn't even change the anchors' names!

- It's called realism, Nick.
- No.

- Good-bye, genius.
- No!

[groans]

Ooh, that was... Ooh.

WINSTON: Oh, my gosh.

13 times.

Yeah. It's a lot of times.

- A lot of times.
- [chuckles] I had a good time.

- I had a great time.
- I could've gone

so many more times than that.

Yeah, that's actually nothing.

[both chuckle]

- I could go all night, girl.
- I could go

- tens of... so many more times.
- Tens of... Ten... Yeah.

- Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
- [sighs] Cool, cool, cool, cool.

- That's what's up. That's what's up.
- [phone ringing]

- That's what's up.
- Oh, it's the phone.

- [breathy]: Hella?
- Winston, are you...

Hey, Winnie, are you okay?

You sound like you're
being chased up a hill.

Oh, no. Aly and I are just
breaking each other off

basically nonstop. It's Nick.

I told him we were
breaking each other off

- basically nonstop.
- I know. I can hear you, honey.

- Oh, you heard everything? Okay.
- What does he want?

I'm in crisis right now.
Could you read my book

and give me notes, please?

Oh, man. I don't want to take a break.

Mmm. Mm-mm.

I'm like a freight train right now.

I can't slow down.

Me either.

This is crisis!

- But...
- Guys,

supporting our friend's
artistic endeavors

- is also insanely...
- Hey, guys. Guys, pay attention.

- It's sexy.
- This is crisis.

- But I was thinking the same thing.
- Oh, thank God.

- Hello? Winston! Winston,
- We could easily just both read the book

- you're supposed to be my friend.
- At the same time,

and then when we're done,
just get right back at it.

- Right?
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Great. Now, do y...
do you guys want a PDF

or do you want 100 individual JPEGs?

- JPEGs, JPEGs, J... JPEGs.
- Uh, 100 individual JPEGs, please.

Yeah! This is gonna take forever.

[laughing]

[groans]

Five-three.

[grunts]

Hey. Oh, I was just...

just playing a little single
and sufficient badminton.

Well, I hope you worked up an appetite,

because I'm gonna make
my Singles Sliders.

- Oh, yeah?
- Okay, so what I do is I take the meat

from three different sliders,
and then I just sort of mash 'em

into one big boy that stands on his own.

Oh. So, like a burger.

Yeah, it's like a burger
except it's bigger.

Oh. Well, if it isn't Schmidt.

Or should I call you Schmidt-tata

'cause you have so
much egg on your face?

- You little Italian egg omelet.
- [laughs, snorts] Nice.

Jess, what's happening
in the lake over there?

- Wait, is that a jellyfish?
- Come over here.

Oh, please, that's so much less sexual

than the stuff that you and
Nick do on a regular basis.

[chuckles] Ow.

- [sighs]
- It's happening.

Okay, Robby...

I'm on it.

[Hugh and Brenda laughing]

Guys, guys.

No, no, no, no, no. What are you doing?

You guys know that you
can only be in this group

if you're single, right?

It's tough.

I'm very horny.

I want you guys to be strong.

Let's do the motto.

- "I'm single
- "I'm single

- "and I'm sufficient."
- "and I'm sufficient".

Didn't sound like you
meant it. One more.

- BOTH: "I'm single and I'm sufficient."
- Yes.

- One last time.
- "I'm single and I'm sufficient!"

- Yes!
- FOSTER: Well, I just hope

we don't see a repeat
of that kind of behavior

with me later on.

You were amazing out there. Your ability

to dampen sexual
chemistry is astounding.

[chuckles softly]

Uh... [clears throat] Thanks.

FOSTER: Hey, guys!

I just caught a fish with my hand!

Wow. Nick's book is astonishing.

I thought it was gonna take
forever, but... it was perfect.

He really brings you into the world.

Every minor character
is so well thought out.

The newsboy? You could
see his whole life.

And am I the only one who
thought that the murderer's name

- was in the song?
- The murderer's song was in the song!

Ah. So good.

No notes.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Well...

sex?

- Yes!
- Yeah?

- Sex.
- I'm ready if you're ready.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- All right.

Just a short walk to our yurt.

Unless we take the scenic route.

Oh. Nothing gets me in
the mood like scenery.

- Mmm?
- Let's do that.

Yeah, let's go that way.

Yeah, let's do that. The scenic way.

Perhaps you could find the perfect bun

if... I don't know...
You had your glasses.

Oh. Oh, you know... you
know who else has glasses?

Six out of ten people
in the developed world,

including Robby and I?

Jess, just give over to
it. We're happy for you.

Use your yurt. You
have a world-class yurt.

Yeah, and if this is about me and Robby

dating years ago, trust me,

- it doesn't matter.
- Mm-mm.

We only did hand
stuff, per his neurosis,

- [groans]
- so you totally have my blessing.

Blessing for what?

- This.
- That.

Guys, I am not into Robby.

And I could never date
a guy who wears glasses

because of the clown from my dreams.

The clown who wears glasses.

Oh, my God, that clown is me.

I'm not dating Robby, okay?

Hey.

- Oh, Robby.
- Oh, hey, Robby.

I heard my name a bunch of
times. I mean, I could tell

that you weren't trying to
call me in here, but, uh,

my curiosity kicked
in, so... A couple of us

are gonna wander down and,
uh, you know, tell some stories

and, uh... [plays guitar]

sing a few songs.

That sounds great. Actually,
you know who loves to sing?

Actually, I've really
been hating music lately.

Come on, Jess, you're a
whore for singin'. Please.

- [phone ringing]
- Damn it!

Nick, if this is about
notes, so help me God.

I'm sorry, but I'm not
gonna stop bugging you

until you note me, Schmidt.

All right, Nick. Here's a note.

Stop cutting yourself off at
the knees like a selfish coward.

Okay, great, great. I love
the direction we're going.

We're getting more critical, but
can you refocus to the writing?

No, Nick, I cannot, and
you want to know why?

Because you are a writer.

And a damn good one at that.

But you're just too scared
to admit it to yourself.

Goodbye, sir.

No! Damn, you raven-haired dandy boy.

Yeah, thought carving our names

- in the trees would have taken longer.
- Yeah.

[owl hooting]

So... do you want... want to have sex?

Yeah. I think that's... Yeah, let's...

Listen, Aly, I got to
admit, I'm pretty tapped out.

I-I'm sorry to say it like
that, but, you know, I'm...

- No. Me, too! I know!
- We've had too much sex too fast!

- Why didn't we pace ourselves?
- [sighs]

I'm so exhausted.

Oh, my gosh, I think this
whole ordeal just illustrates

why three months isn't three days.

- So happy you said that.
- [laughs]

I'm just happy to be in
the same place as you.

Me, too.

And, you know, we did do it 13 times.

- That's a lot.
- That's a lot of times.

But you know what my favorite time was?

- 11? [laughs]
- 11. You knew.

Oh, I knew. 11 was great.

Mm. Maybe we should do 11 again.

But this time... I'm the mermaid.

Okay. I'm the mermaid.

[laughing]: No, I'm the mermaid.

- Kind of, uh... Yeah, right there.
- Perfect.

- Get your butt down there.
- [sighs]

Come here!

- Ooh!
- [laughs]

BOTH:
It's gonna take a
lot to drag me away from you

This is electric.

BOTH:
I bless the rains

-
Had.

I can't!

You can't what?

I can't ignore what's going
on with Brenda and Hugh!

We weren't doing anything!

I hope you guys were
behaving, all right?

Because you know what
happens on strike two.

Strike two and...

Strike... You're not out on strike two,

but, you know, strike
two, you're on thin ice.

- Jess should be on thin ice.
- Ugh!

She took us on a couples trip!

Yeah, that's like taking
alcoholics to a brewery!

Nobody here wants to
hear from you, Hugh.

You Hugh.

You... Hugh.

You made us hang out with
your lame couples friends!

- How are we lame?
- There is no reason to attack us.

And when singing Toto,
why is it always "Africa"?

- They've got a deep catalog!
- ROBBY: Okay.

Look, I think we can all agree

that Jess is a very important
member of this group.

You hypocrite.

Before you cast
aspersions on anyone else,

you need to take a good
long look at yourself, Robby!

- The emperor
- I don't even know

- has no clothes!
- why we bothered coming here!

[overlapping chatter]

And you sexualized Toto.

No, you make a good...

I know those guys. They're good guys!

Know what? Enough!

Okay, I'm not, uh...

Guys, I'm not actually
gonna smash my guitar

to get your attention.

But listen, I don't want you
to lose faith in this group.

Okay? Just...

lose faith in me.

Because you're right. I
have been a hypocrite. Uh...

I do have feelings for Jess.

Ooh.

[gasps]

Just... he didn't say
what kind of feelings.

They're sexual and romantic feelings.

- Oh, wow.
- Oh, boy.

BRENDA: Well, what do you know?

I'm really sorry about last
night. Where's the group?

The group is kind of permanently done.

Robby sent out a final e-mail.

It was in Latin, uh,

and it was in this gothic font.

I'm kind of worried about him.

Why don't you give
the guy a chance, Jess?

[sighs] I'm not interested right now.

So, what, are you just
gonna give up on love,

- be alone forever? Like...
- No, you know me.

I love love!

Anything in pairs makes me choked up.

Shoes, socks, chopsticks.

I'm just in kind of a
confusing place right now,

and I think you guys know why.

It's about Nick, right?

Yes, of course we are
talking about Nick.

- I knew it.
- Yes, I'm talking about Nick.

- I knew it.
- I knew it.

But, look, I want you to know something.

I'm really, really happy
being single right now.

I'm sorry if my group
ruined your weekend.

They're really cool people
if you get to know them.

- I'm sure.
- [phone chimes]

Yeah. Oh, my God, I have to go.

Foster got a corn chip in his eye.

SCHMIDT: Okay, you know what?

We need to make a pact

to befriend at least
one other married couple.

Yeah, but how are we gonna do that?

We don't have a kid, and I
refuse to take cooking classes.

I don't know. Maybe we just
go to a Norah Jones concert,

stand outside and look lost.

Well, Schmidty, you pulled a real

Mr. Miyagi on the whole "no
notes, tough love" routine.

Let me see it.

Ooh! Nick, there's a
whole nother chapter here!

How did you make this happen?

I worked... because of you. And...

who is this wise,

denim-clad Jewish chaplain?

Sch-Schmith?

That was the big thing.

You helped me realize that
Pepperwood needed a Schmith.

Okay. While it's an honor

to be included in the world
that you've created here,

um... [sighs]

the Schmith character
seems, uh, grotesque.

- Yeah, he's unlikeable.
- I don't understand why,

when we meet this character,
he-he's kicking a puppy.

He's the bad guy...
in Pepperwood's life.

He's mean, he's...

He's not somebody you want
to introduce to Mom and Dad.

- The cha... the character.
- Schmith is a dirt bag.

I have no respect for Schmith,

- and neither should anybody else.
- I think that's

a mistake to say those
things about the character.

I appreciate what you're saying,
but I'm happy with what I have.

- I don't need any notes.
- Oh, now it's no notes?!

Nick? Nick?!

Sit anywhere?

What's up, Robby?

Hey, sorry. I'll leave.
I was almost done..

No! You'll ruin your food!

Yeah, just like I ruined the group.

You didn't ruin anything. We're...

- We're still hanging out.
- Really?

Okay, so could you guys
vote me back in maybe?

We voted to get rid of voting.

It's the same, just,
uh, without the rules.

Jess, I don't really know what to say.

Don't say anything.

It's fine. I'm just gonna read.

Um, Winston gave me
a copy of Nick's book.

It's actually pretty good.

- Um...
- [laughing]

Except the foreword says,

"Best enjoyed with
shrimp cocktail." [laughs]

You can go back to
your crossword puzzle.

- It's a word search.
- Oh.

Hey, Robby?

Hmm?

Should... should we just share a table?

Is that crazy?

I don't think it's crazy at all. Do you?

- No. I mean, I suggested it, so, no.
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Oh, thanks.

[sighs]

Hey, Jess?

Um...

I just found the word "locomotive,"

backwards and diagonal.

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