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Opening statements today
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in the trial of celebrity
chef Susanna Gabey,
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accused of killing her husband.
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The special tonight:
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cold-blooded murder.
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The jury is expected to
be sequestered four weeks.
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Ooh, look, that's her. (laughs)
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ANCHORMAN: In this
high profile case,
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initial courtroom reports
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note an annoyingly inquisitive jury.
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In otter news, an otter was born
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- at the zoo today.
- Oh! - Oh, dip.
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I can't believe Jess
is gonna be sequestered.
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for so long.
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Who am I supposed to go
to for lady advice now?
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I mean, I'm having
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- a real crisis with KC.
- NICK: It's not a crisis.
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She posted a photo of another
dude; it's no big deal.
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Yeah, but when I asked
her about it, she said,
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"He's a work friend, Winston. Slow down."
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I'm like, "Slow down?
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"We've been dating for four months already.
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I've seen one of your breasts."
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What was the situation where you only saw
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one of her breasts?
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We were playing dinosaur.
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Look, I just need Jess.
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Winston, it's gonna be okay,
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because I can help.
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I told Jess that I was gonna
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take care of her boys while she was away.
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What, you don't think I can be supportive?
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(phone chimes)
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No...
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Todd is in town.
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- Ploons?
- Are you kidding me?
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Went to college with this guy.
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He's the worst guy on Planet Earth.
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(dance music playing)
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His grandfather invented the springs
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that go inside pens.
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He's got, like, a billion dollars.
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Once he paid apl.de.ap
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from The Black Eyed Peas
to hang out with him,
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just so he could look cool.
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How much are you guys
gettin' paid for this?
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Bunch of marijuana.
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And these carrots.
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- (phone chimes)
- Ugh.
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I just got a text from him.
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"Nick the Dick"... hate that...
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"it's Hot Daddy T"... hate that...
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"in La-La Land."... hate that...
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"Excited to talk
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"bachelor party with you.
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Vegass?"
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He spelled "Vegas" with two S's.
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He spelled it with two?
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That's ass. That's Veg-ass.
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You see what he did?
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You see what he did?
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It's so like Ploons
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to assume he's coming
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- to the bachelors party.
- He said Vegas?
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You can't invite him, Schmidt.
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On the other hand, you know,
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a bachelor party does cost a lot of money.
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I'm your best man.
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I got this bachelors
party under control, buddy.
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First of all, you're saying
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"bachelors party," which is wrong.
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Okay, so where we going?
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- Where are we going?
- Yeah.
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- For the party?
- For the party, yeah.
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We don't have to go anywhere.
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You want to go somewhere, right?
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- Uh...
- NICK: We're going someplace.
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Someplace that is so much better
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than what Ploons could do.
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Well, he'd go to Vegas,
which... which sounds awesome.
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We're going to Tokyo!
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I mean, look at you. You're obsessed
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with Japanese culture,
you wear the kimono, right?
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I'm gonna take you where
Ploons can never take you.
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I'm taking you to Tokyo.
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(choked up): This... this is pimp.
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This is so pimp.
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(crying): I just really need to know, um...
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(clears throat)
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I was gonna say, how are
we paying for all of this?
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- Doesn't matter.
- How does anybody pay for anything?
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WINSTON: No, no, seriously,
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how are we paying for this?
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Boom, boom, boom...
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- (imitates playing guitar)
- Who cares?
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BOTH: We're going to Tokyo!
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Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
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(humming Super Mario Bros.
underground levels music)
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Is there a three-prong
outlet in here somewhere?
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(vocalizing)
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God, I love echoes in bathrooms.
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It's so good.
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Hey, there's a stranger in the bathroom.
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- That's just Brandon.
- Who the hell is Brandon?
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Brandon's how we're
paying for Tokyo, Schmidt.
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You see, I put a thing online.
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I'm renting out Jess's
room while she's gone.
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- Oh...
- I'm gonna rent out all the rooms.
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Are you insane?
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I don't think so, no.
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Do you have any idea
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the amount of bodily fluids
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that people let loose onacation?
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Brandon's a really good guy.
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He's just here to finish his novel.
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I appreciate the effort, I do,
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but we don't need to go to...
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we don't need to go to Tokyo.
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Not for this. I'm not willing to
turn our home into a public pool.
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One: I understand your concern
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and I'll make note of it.
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You're not even typing.
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Two: I already bought the tickets
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and they're nonrefundable.
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We need to come up with $9,000.
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You don't need Jess's bowl
of advice, Winston, all right?
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I really do, CeCe.
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00:04:06,377 --> 00:04:07,695
I mean, look. She's cheating on me.
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00:04:07,891 --> 00:04:09,546
KC's cheating on me.
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00:04:09,581 --> 00:04:11,848
- Hmm.
- The same thing happened with Daisy.
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Everything's all good,
then all of a sudden,
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she's hiding a basketball
player in the shower
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and I own a cat!
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I'm in a cycle.
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I'm in a bad woman cycle.
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She posts a picture with a hot guy,
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you post a picture with a hot girl.
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That-that's great. That's
perfect advice, CeCe.
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I know. Thank you very much.
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You're welcome.
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If only I knew a hot girl.
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Hmm.
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Ah...
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Trust me, it'll work.
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I've done the math,
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and if we rent out every room for a month,
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we'll have enough money,
we won't need Todd.
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The hospitality industry is fast-paced
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and it's detail-oriented.
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And you have the focus
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of a coked-up Italian on a summer day.
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I'm very focused.
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You're not even looking at me right now.
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I thought I saw something shiny.
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Um...
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But no, it was nothing.
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How do you drive your
car and not hit people?
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I have never been more focused in my...
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It was a spoon.
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I saw the... it was just a spoon.
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Nick, let's just call Todd.
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Let's bite the bullet...
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No, Schmidt, we don't
need his money. Look at me.
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(sighs) Okay...
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Schmidty, I'm your best man.
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And I may not be a rich man.
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The only thing my parents invented
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was a wand
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to push the buttons on the
microwave from the table,
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so you don't have to get up.
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- You mean like a stick?
- My point is,
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it's my job to give you
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the bachelors party of your dreams.
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And I intend on doing that.
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Why don't you close your eyes for me?
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What do you see
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when you see your dream bachelors party?
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- Sushi.
-(chuckles) A lot of it.
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Sake.
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Honor.
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And no Todd, right?
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Look around. Is Todd there?
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'Cause we don't need him.
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We can do this.
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I want you to look at me
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and tell me you believe we can do this.
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Do you believe, Schmidty?
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Do you believe?
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Schmidty? Do you believe?
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- I believe...!
- Do you believe?
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- I believe!
- Yeah!
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I'm gonna eat sushi off my own ass!
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Why you using tongs?
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We don't use tongs at home.
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Don't forget to write your reviews
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and it'd be nice if you mentioned Nick.
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- So you're just full-blown running a hotel now?
- MAN: All right, let's go.
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It's a boutique hotel, yes.
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We are offering a premiere experience
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in a competitive marketplace.
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Okay? And the reviews are everything.
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- So grab a vacuum...
- I'm gonna go take my 15.
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It's not time for a break.
You just started working.
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It takes a staff to run...
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There's no work ethic
there... how do you work...?
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- (phone ringing)
- Look at that.
207
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KC took the bait.
208
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I gotta take my 15.
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Uh, hello? What it do, Jacques?
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Everybody's taking their 15.
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Got no staff.
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00:06:35,330 --> 00:06:36,395
Kumiko, how are you?
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Hey, Kumiko.
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Kumiko, you're from Japan, yes?
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Well, you know, Nick and I
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are going to Japan. Any tips?
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Yes?
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Cleaning.
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00:06:51,713 --> 00:06:53,079
She's talking about the shower.
220
00:06:53,114 --> 00:06:55,021
- Oh!
- SCHMIDT: Yes.
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00:06:55,046 --> 00:06:56,682
- Let me help you with that shower.
- Okay, you just...
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00:06:56,718 --> 00:06:59,185
- stay there for a second, cowboy.
- Please.
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00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:00,271
We're running a business here.
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We're running a hotel.
225
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No sex with the guests.
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00:07:03,826 --> 00:07:04,757
You gotta focus, here.
227
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,826
Hey, you know this:
I'm a businessman first.
228
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,594
- Yes.
- I'm a sex guy second.
229
00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:09,829
- Okay?
- Stay focused, man.
230
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,831
- No sex, no Todd.
- No Todd.
231
00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,499
- Tokyo!
- Tokyo.
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233
00:07:16,371 --> 00:07:18,170
Oh. Thought you were Nick.
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00:07:18,206 --> 00:07:21,173
Well, uh, KC saw the picture.
235
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Oh, great, you're welcome.
236
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,873
And she instantly broke up with me.
237
00:07:26,568 --> 00:07:27,426
(softly): Oh.
238
00:07:27,786 --> 00:07:28,674
Um...
239
00:07:28,873 --> 00:07:29,972
I'm sorry.
240
00:07:30,008 --> 00:07:31,040
You okay?
241
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:32,108
Yeah.
242
00:07:32,143 --> 00:07:35,144
(loud continuous sob)
243
00:07:40,485 --> 00:07:41,651
(sob winds down)
244
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(sob resumes)
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This is your fault.
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I need Jess.
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00:07:46,929 --> 00:07:49,469
No, you know what, no, you
don't need, you don't need Jess.
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'Cause I'm here, and I've got this.
249
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So what can I do that's Jess-like?
250
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,231
You want some, you want some tea?
251
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- You want, like, cupcakes or a cute song?
- I need Jess.
252
00:07:58,484 --> 00:08:00,158
Okay, you know what, I'm
gonna do the tea thing.
253
00:08:00,183 --> 00:08:01,357
How about I do the tea thing for you,
254
00:08:01,382 --> 00:08:03,226
and then I'll, it'll soothe you, okay?
255
00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:04,693
So, how do I, how do you make tea?
256
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:05,607
How do you make tea?!
257
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I'll fig... I'll figure it
out. I'll just get some water
258
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- and I'll ta...
- Yeah.
259
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:09,645
You know, it's...
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Water and leaves!
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- Water and leaves!
- Water and leaves.
262
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,351
So, this is hot, and this is cold.
263
00:08:15,386 --> 00:08:17,459
Yes. (chuckles)
264
00:08:17,484 --> 00:08:19,884
Wet down there.
265
00:08:22,527 --> 00:08:25,361
Wet down there.
266
00:08:26,564 --> 00:08:29,165
Oh, I don't need to know that, Kumiko.
267
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,053
That is, that is not my business.
268
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,679
Wet down there!
269
00:08:32,704 --> 00:08:35,171
Oh, you mean down there! Yeah...
270
00:08:35,206 --> 00:08:36,873
- Yes!
- That's really...
271
00:08:36,908 --> 00:08:38,092
- (groans)
- Yes, that's, yeah,
272
00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:40,645
that's actually, yeah.
Let me get in the drain.
273
00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:42,178
Sorry about that glass.
274
00:08:42,213 --> 00:08:42,912
(chuckles)
275
00:08:42,937 --> 00:08:44,373
I was in the zone writing, and I just...
276
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,415
- It's just a glass, right?
- Yeah.
277
00:08:46,451 --> 00:08:48,084
As a reminder,
278
00:08:48,119 --> 00:08:49,886
there's some plastic disposable cups,
279
00:08:49,921 --> 00:08:51,454
literally, right there, so there's no need
280
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,689
to rummage through the cabinets
with your travelers' hands.
281
00:08:53,725 --> 00:08:54,590
- Okay.
- Okay.
282
00:08:54,626 --> 00:08:55,758
But how's the novel coming?
283
00:08:55,793 --> 00:08:58,310
Oh, I mean, I'm stuck on a love scene.
284
00:08:58,521 --> 00:08:59,795
Ain't that always the case?
285
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,197
Couldn't imagine.
286
00:09:01,232 --> 00:09:02,428
- Listen to this.
- What?
287
00:09:02,453 --> 00:09:04,200
"As his electric car powered down,
288
00:09:04,235 --> 00:09:05,368
the first thing he saw was..."
289
00:09:05,403 --> 00:09:06,702
No, look at me.
290
00:09:07,119 --> 00:09:08,285
Look at me.
291
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:09,272
- Do I have to?
- Yeah.
292
00:09:09,307 --> 00:09:12,308
"...first thing he saw was
her virgin breasts glowing
293
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,643
"in the Alabama moonlight.
294
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,211
"She said,
295
00:09:15,246 --> 00:09:16,812
"'Which one do you want to see?
296
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,447
"The left or the right?'
297
00:09:18,483 --> 00:09:19,916
"And I said, 'Both.'
298
00:09:19,951 --> 00:09:22,318
"She said, 'No, pick one.'
299
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,487
"So I said, 'Left.'
300
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,621
"She finally showed him,
301
00:09:25,657 --> 00:09:27,390
"and it was as big as a Cadillac.
302
00:09:27,425 --> 00:09:31,560
"She grabbed him by the potatoes
and led him up the stairs.
303
00:09:31,596 --> 00:09:33,095
"So many stairs.
304
00:09:33,131 --> 00:09:36,165
"Left, right, left,
305
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,801
"right, left,
306
00:09:38,836 --> 00:09:39,842
"right.
307
00:09:39,867 --> 00:09:42,238
He grabbed the bannister and then let go."
308
00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:43,839
Oh, that's erotic stuff.
309
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:44,974
- Oh, thank you.
- You're very welcome.
310
00:09:45,009 --> 00:09:46,242
That's very sexy stuff you're writing.
311
00:09:46,277 --> 00:09:47,834
- Thanks.
- The sexiest, really.
312
00:09:47,859 --> 00:09:48,925
Where the hell have you been?
313
00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:50,504
"The parakeet was still in the room,
314
00:09:50,529 --> 00:09:53,896
"but it turned out to be a welcome addition
315
00:09:54,099 --> 00:09:56,152
to the games at hand."
316
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,220
Lose that one?
317
00:09:58,256 --> 00:09:59,889
I don't even get that
one. I didn't get that one.
318
00:09:59,924 --> 00:10:01,757
Let go of it. I have
no emotional connection.
319
00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:04,026
- You're cracking; take your 15.
- I'm not cracking.
320
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,461
Oh!
321
00:10:05,496 --> 00:10:06,329
Nuts.
322
00:10:06,364 --> 00:10:07,848
- You weak-handed moron!
- Hey!
323
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:10,967
Who also is our cherished guest here.
324
00:10:11,002 --> 00:10:12,099
It's just the weight of it.
325
00:10:12,124 --> 00:10:14,770
The liquid and the balance
of it... I'm so sorry.
326
00:10:14,806 --> 00:10:16,372
- I'll help clean it up.
- No, please, let me clean it up.
327
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,506
You keep writing.
328
00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:18,441
(clicks tongue)
329
00:10:18,476 --> 00:10:19,542
I think you're cracking.
330
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,010
You need to take your 15.
331
00:10:21,045 --> 00:10:22,712
I don't need a 15; I'm
gonna take a 15 more of work.
332
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:23,946
- You need a 15; take a 15.
- Pull it together.
333
00:10:23,982 --> 00:10:25,181
I will not take a 15 ever
again in my whole life.
334
00:10:25,216 --> 00:10:26,816
I'm so sorry about this. Take a 15.
335
00:10:26,851 --> 00:10:28,484
"She took a 15 on my face."
336
00:10:30,766 --> 00:10:31,832
Focus.
337
00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:33,787
Focus!
338
00:10:33,812 --> 00:10:34,988
NICK: Sorry about the
little misunderstanding
339
00:10:35,013 --> 00:10:35,891
there, all right?
340
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,537
(chuckles)
341
00:10:37,615 --> 00:10:40,235
_
342
00:10:40,616 --> 00:10:43,349
_
343
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,971
- This oolong tea?
- Yeah.
344
00:10:49,007 --> 00:10:50,506
Yeah, well, Jess never gives me caffeine.
345
00:10:50,541 --> 00:10:52,459
Why wouldn't you tell me that?
346
00:10:52,484 --> 00:10:54,184
You know, this breakup has
got me going crazy, Cece.
347
00:10:54,209 --> 00:10:55,408
So you just need to calm down, okay?
348
00:10:55,433 --> 00:10:56,700
I'm gonna need you to nurture me.
349
00:10:56,725 --> 00:10:57,991
I'm gonna need you to nurture me.
350
00:10:58,016 --> 00:11:00,016
Okay, all right, I can
do that part. Here we go.
351
00:11:00,051 --> 00:11:01,684
So, um, maybe this breakup
352
00:11:01,719 --> 00:11:03,568
isn't such a bad thing.
353
00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:05,855
- Mm-hmm.
- Now you can stop wasting your life and find someone
354
00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:07,865
more realistic.
355
00:11:08,349 --> 00:11:10,192
Yeah, someone who's, like, in your league.
356
00:11:10,228 --> 00:11:11,832
- What?
- Because you don't want to die alone,
357
00:11:11,857 --> 00:11:13,162
so you kind of have to settle
358
00:11:13,197 --> 00:11:14,248
and lower your standards
359
00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:16,699
and find someone that's
just, like, in your lane.
360
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:17,373
What...?
361
00:11:17,398 --> 00:11:18,428
If you stay in your lane,
362
00:11:18,453 --> 00:11:20,732
you'll be happy, 'cause you won't be alone.
363
00:11:20,757 --> 00:11:21,849
- Right?
- What are you saying?
364
00:11:21,874 --> 00:11:24,074
Someone a little older, dumpier.
365
00:11:24,099 --> 00:11:25,615
(crying): You are so bad at this.
366
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:26,881
For crying out loud.
367
00:11:26,906 --> 00:11:28,340
Who do we give our laundry to?
368
00:11:28,365 --> 00:11:29,763
The ad said it was included.
369
00:11:29,788 --> 00:11:31,910
I suppose, I suppose me, uh, I guess.
370
00:11:31,935 --> 00:11:33,082
- Here you go.
- Oh, dear Lord.
371
00:11:33,117 --> 00:11:34,517
Where do the entertainment
types tend to hang out?
372
00:11:34,552 --> 00:11:36,085
Crystal is a performer.
373
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:37,720
We'd love to get her in front
of the right set of eyes.
374
00:11:37,755 --> 00:11:39,822
- This is all underpants.
- Showtime!
375
00:11:39,857 --> 00:11:41,170
Mm... No, oh, no, no.
376
00:11:41,195 --> 00:11:42,361
Crystal!
377
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:43,759
SCHMIDT: Oh, no.
378
00:11:43,795 --> 00:11:45,361
No, no, no, no, honey, no acting.
379
00:11:45,396 --> 00:11:47,029
I feel that you're gonna
start a monologue of some sort,
380
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:49,208
and I really don't want to
hear it. I have no tolerance.
381
00:11:49,233 --> 00:11:50,566
- Please, I'm begging you.
- (clears throat)
382
00:11:50,601 --> 00:11:52,435
Is that your moment before?
Please don't do that.
383
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,090
You don't know what out of order is,
384
00:11:54,115 --> 00:11:55,971
- What the hell?
- Mr. Trask!
385
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,941
If I were the man I was five years ago,
386
00:11:58,976 --> 00:12:01,777
I'd take a flame thrower to this place!
387
00:12:01,813 --> 00:12:03,192
Pacino, Scent of a Woman.
388
00:12:03,217 --> 00:12:04,146
I got the referen...
389
00:12:04,631 --> 00:12:05,948
Wait a minute.
390
00:12:05,983 --> 00:12:07,412
Is that my cashmere window pane blazer?
391
00:12:07,437 --> 00:12:09,084
I know it was you, Fredo.
392
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:10,803
You broke my heart.
393
00:12:10,828 --> 00:12:12,170
- Do you only do Pacino?
- (kisses)
394
00:12:12,195 --> 00:12:13,556
You knock him down.
395
00:12:13,591 --> 00:12:15,424
Why don't you try knockin' me down now?
396
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:16,295
Rocky V?
397
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,760
No, no, in the ring.
398
00:12:17,795 --> 00:12:19,795
Tommy Gunn only fights in the ring.
399
00:12:19,831 --> 00:12:21,162
Of all the Rockys?
400
00:12:21,187 --> 00:12:22,754
Baby, let's do the cop one. Do Heat.
401
00:12:22,779 --> 00:12:24,310
Don't do Heat. I'm... Oh, God.
402
00:12:24,335 --> 00:12:26,771
'Cause she's got a great ass!
403
00:12:32,967 --> 00:12:34,357
Nickolo.
404
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:35,811
What up, my man?
405
00:12:35,847 --> 00:12:37,654
You got a weird vibe right now, bud.
406
00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:38,778
I called Todd.
407
00:12:39,404 --> 00:12:41,283
W-W... You just say, "Hi, what's up?
408
00:12:41,319 --> 00:12:42,618
- No.
- Don't come to the bachelor party."
409
00:12:42,653 --> 00:12:44,153
No, I made plans with him.
410
00:12:44,576 --> 00:12:46,622
I'm gonna invite him and ask him to pay.
411
00:12:46,657 --> 00:12:48,185
- What?! You...
- I'm sorry!
412
00:12:48,210 --> 00:12:49,859
I hear the blues a-callin'
413
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,670
Tossed salad and scrambled eggs
414
00:12:52,695 --> 00:12:54,262
Is she listening to Frasier reruns?
415
00:12:54,287 --> 00:12:55,675
I'm in the middle of a fight with you.
416
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:56,866
There's this one episode, right?
417
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,000
Where Niles,
418
00:12:58,035 --> 00:13:00,436
he's making an origami flower,
419
00:13:00,471 --> 00:13:02,371
and Frasier comes in and asks...
420
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:04,773
Well, I'm sorry, actually, it's
Daphne that comes in and asks...
421
00:13:04,809 --> 00:13:05,875
Why'd you invite Todd!
422
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,877
Is that what Daphne asks?
423
00:13:08,482 --> 00:13:10,763
'Cause if I'm Daphne,
that's what I'm asking.
424
00:13:10,788 --> 00:13:12,615
He sucks. I could've done it!
425
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,092
Then what does, uh, Frasier say?
426
00:13:14,117 --> 00:13:15,560
You would never be
Frasier in this scenario.
427
00:13:15,585 --> 00:13:17,384
- Who would I be?
- Obviously the dad,
428
00:13:17,409 --> 00:13:19,298
the lazy piece of dump
429
00:13:19,323 --> 00:13:21,045
that sits on the chair.
430
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:27,196
- And you just broke my heart.
- (Kumiko giggles)
431
00:13:28,983 --> 00:13:31,055
CECE: Well, the McQuaids
sure left a mess.
432
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,379
WINSTON: Nick, I would just like to say
433
00:13:32,415 --> 00:13:33,847
that you had a vision for this hotel.
434
00:13:34,288 --> 00:13:37,446
I'd also like to say that I may die alone.
435
00:13:37,471 --> 00:13:38,702
- It could happen.
- Yeah.
436
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,389
- Be nice if you surprised us.
- I'll try.
437
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,529
Okay, look, Nick, I'm
sorry that I called Todd.
438
00:13:42,565 --> 00:13:44,530
You can suck Todd's gas
till you're blue in the face,
439
00:13:44,555 --> 00:13:45,353
but I won't.
440
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,558
Not now, not ever.
441
00:13:48,437 --> 00:13:49,603
I'll pay my own way to Tokyo,
442
00:13:49,638 --> 00:13:50,944
'cause he hotel's still open, so...
443
00:13:50,969 --> 00:13:52,068
Kumiko seems happy.
444
00:13:52,093 --> 00:13:53,818
You could get some money back from her.
445
00:13:53,843 --> 00:13:54,724
Yeah.
446
00:13:54,749 --> 00:13:56,184
I ca... I'm not gonna charge
her; I can't charge her.
447
00:13:56,209 --> 00:13:57,544
- What?
- Why wouldn't you charge her?
448
00:13:57,580 --> 00:13:59,225
Why can't you charge Kumiko?
449
00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:03,103
To be honest, because we
had a sexual encounter.
450
00:14:03,128 --> 00:14:03,927
There we go.
451
00:14:03,952 --> 00:14:05,122
Shame, shame.
452
00:14:05,147 --> 00:14:06,119
SCHMIDT: I knew it, Nick!
453
00:14:06,155 --> 00:14:08,088
You weren't in the
bathroom fixing the shower.
454
00:14:08,123 --> 00:14:10,157
You were showing her the business center.
455
00:14:10,192 --> 00:14:12,458
Okay, in my defense,
it wasn't in the shower.
456
00:14:12,483 --> 00:14:14,628
It was in the hallway for a few moments.
457
00:14:14,663 --> 00:14:17,202
Don't refer to it as a hallway. Yuck.
458
00:14:17,227 --> 00:14:19,161
I literally meant the hallway.
459
00:14:19,186 --> 00:14:20,901
And it was vibrant, if
that's a word you could use
460
00:14:20,936 --> 00:14:22,769
in this situation, 'cause that's
what it was; it was like...
461
00:14:22,805 --> 00:14:25,505
- Just admit it, Nick, you screwed up.
- I did not screw up!
462
00:14:25,541 --> 00:14:27,174
Well, you certainly can't charge her now.
463
00:14:27,209 --> 00:14:28,508
Yes, I can.
464
00:14:29,038 --> 00:14:30,277
Sure I can.
465
00:14:33,983 --> 00:14:35,393
Hey, Kumiko.
466
00:14:37,694 --> 00:14:39,114
Can I have a minute of your time?
467
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,120
(grunts)
468
00:14:41,824 --> 00:14:44,013
(sighs deeply) I had a...
469
00:14:44,038 --> 00:14:45,959
I enjoyed our special time today.
470
00:14:45,995 --> 00:14:47,995
I haven't taken my pants
off in front of a woman
471
00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,653
in quite some time.
472
00:14:49,678 --> 00:14:51,739
I'm sorry that the pretzel fell out.
473
00:14:51,764 --> 00:14:53,405
That was unexpected.
474
00:14:53,811 --> 00:14:56,130
I honestly don't know how
long it was in my underpants,
475
00:14:56,155 --> 00:14:58,077
and that was disturbing to me.
476
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,155
Thank you for not overreacting to it.
477
00:15:01,176 --> 00:15:02,542
I'm here to talk about money.
478
00:15:02,867 --> 00:15:04,300
American currency.
479
00:15:04,452 --> 00:15:06,045
Our special time
480
00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:10,317
was not included,
financially, in the room rate.
481
00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:11,551
'Cause I'm running a business.
482
00:15:11,587 --> 00:15:14,038
And I can't be soft here.
483
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,981
I understand.
484
00:15:17,006 --> 00:15:18,859
I give you money.
485
00:15:18,894 --> 00:15:20,527
Thank you for being so
cool! That's what... Yes.
486
00:15:20,562 --> 00:15:22,334
You are prostitute.
487
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:26,583
- Working boy.
- No, no.
488
00:15:26,608 --> 00:15:29,002
I want sex.
489
00:15:29,038 --> 00:15:30,678
You want sex.
490
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,028
But need money.
491
00:15:33,053 --> 00:15:35,075
- Prostitute.
- Hotel owner.
492
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:37,744
Sorry, Winston, I mean,
this is all my fault.
493
00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:39,802
No, no, no, no. No, Cece, you're fine.
494
00:15:39,827 --> 00:15:41,581
You were right. You really were.
495
00:15:41,617 --> 00:15:44,700
I mean, KC and I were,
we weren't going anywhere.
496
00:15:44,725 --> 00:15:45,655
Let's be honest.
497
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,231
I just want to find
somebody, Cece; I really do.
498
00:15:48,256 --> 00:15:50,091
So bad it hurts.
499
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,892
From my head to my turd pipe.
500
00:15:51,927 --> 00:15:54,528
That's... sweet.
501
00:15:54,563 --> 00:15:57,036
I got so much love to give, Cece.
502
00:15:57,061 --> 00:16:00,302
I really do, so why am
I always on the phone,
503
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,005
getting dumped, crying
my eyes out like an idiot?
504
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:05,397
Well, there must be
something that you can do.
505
00:16:05,441 --> 00:16:07,274
Well, you know, if Jess were
here, she would tell me to:
506
00:16:07,309 --> 00:16:08,942
(imitating Jess): "Just
believe in yourself, Winston,
507
00:16:08,978 --> 00:16:11,545
and, like, be positive."
508
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,599
Well, forget what Jess would say
509
00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:16,317
and forget what I would say.
510
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:18,252
What do you think would really
511
00:16:18,287 --> 00:16:19,163
break the cycle?
512
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:20,491
I just want, for once in my life,
513
00:16:20,516 --> 00:16:22,716
for someone to cry over me.
514
00:16:22,741 --> 00:16:24,024
Right, okay, explore that.
515
00:16:24,059 --> 00:16:26,155
Somebody to just cry because of...
516
00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:30,020
That's a great idea, Cece!
517
00:16:30,045 --> 00:16:31,037
- It is?
- Yes!
518
00:16:31,062 --> 00:16:32,077
This is what I'm gonna do.
519
00:16:32,102 --> 00:16:35,342
We're gonna make KC cry over me.
520
00:16:36,334 --> 00:16:37,584
Oh, no, no, that's not,
521
00:16:37,609 --> 00:16:38,975
that's not where I
thought you were going...
522
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,600
We're gonna make a girl cry today!
523
00:16:51,187 --> 00:16:52,753
Couldn't take the money?
524
00:16:54,624 --> 00:16:56,452
Thought you were a prostitute?
525
00:16:56,488 --> 00:16:59,922
(wry laugh)
526
00:16:59,958 --> 00:17:01,557
It's time for Todd.
527
00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:05,905
Yeah, okay.
528
00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:06,944
All right.
529
00:17:12,717 --> 00:17:14,455
You ever taken gloves off before?
530
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,078
We could've paid for Tokyo,
531
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:19,099
but a business venture
went south and ultimately,
532
00:17:19,124 --> 00:17:21,792
it was my fault because
the company was my baby.
533
00:17:21,827 --> 00:17:23,857
I can't believe you guys
have never been to Tokyo.
534
00:17:23,882 --> 00:17:25,864
I've been there 28 times!
535
00:17:25,889 --> 00:17:27,388
Where do you guys get your sneakers?
536
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:28,645
- 28 times?
- Yes.
537
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:29,702
And you idiots couldn't even
538
00:17:29,727 --> 00:17:31,081
figure out how to get there once?
539
00:17:31,106 --> 00:17:32,051
Ha! You know what you
540
00:17:32,086 --> 00:17:33,202
- deserve for that, Nick?
- What?
541
00:17:33,227 --> 00:17:34,760
You deserve a one-nut slap, my friend.
542
00:17:34,773 --> 00:17:37,021
You're not slapping one of my nuts, Todd.
543
00:17:37,046 --> 00:17:38,030
- Oh, yes, I am.
- I'm an adult man.
544
00:17:38,055 --> 00:17:39,046
Tokyo?
545
00:17:40,034 --> 00:17:42,067
Get that leg up, come on.
546
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,392
- All right.
- Get that nut!
547
00:17:51,427 --> 00:17:53,366
This is for you, best
man. We're going to Tokyo.
548
00:17:53,391 --> 00:17:54,390
Yeah, get it up there. Here we go.
549
00:17:54,415 --> 00:17:55,794
- Ooh...
- Okay, no!
550
00:17:55,819 --> 00:17:56,866
- S-Stop it!
- What!?
551
00:17:56,891 --> 00:17:57,874
- Get your hand out of here!
- Oh!
552
00:17:57,899 --> 00:17:59,287
You're not slapping anybody's nuts.
553
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,466
Boo!
554
00:18:00,491 --> 00:18:01,975
SCHMIDT: We don't need your money, Todd.
555
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,217
I'm gonna love my bachelor
party, no matter what.
556
00:18:05,763 --> 00:18:08,241
You're my best man. We're gonna do this.
557
00:18:08,265 --> 00:18:10,265
- Yeah, we can do this.
- Do it anywhere we want to do it.
558
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,567
- That's right.
- It doesn't matter.
559
00:18:11,592 --> 00:18:13,825
I do, however, still owe $9,000.
560
00:18:13,850 --> 00:18:15,970
Wow. You guys are good friends.
561
00:18:16,006 --> 00:18:17,341
- Yep.
- Yeah.
562
00:18:17,366 --> 00:18:19,114
I don't have any friends.
563
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,192
No one likes me.
564
00:18:20,217 --> 00:18:21,743
Ooh, why would you say that, Todd?
565
00:18:21,778 --> 00:18:23,444
I have a terrible personality.
566
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,312
True.
567
00:18:24,347 --> 00:18:26,648
(sobs quietly)
568
00:18:26,683 --> 00:18:29,540
- You're fake crying, aren't you?
- No I'm not! I'm...
569
00:18:29,565 --> 00:18:31,031
Yeah, all right, you guys caught me.
570
00:18:32,489 --> 00:18:34,689
(choking)
571
00:18:34,724 --> 00:18:36,457
I see it in your mouth.
572
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:41,796
Look, there she is.
573
00:18:41,831 --> 00:18:43,888
Hey, Winston, I am not
doing this, all right?
574
00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:46,567
It is the worst idea
that I have ever heard.
575
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:47,635
Uh, remember when you said,
576
00:18:47,671 --> 00:18:50,138
"I'm Cece. I'm super supportive"?
577
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:51,339
Now's your time to shine.
578
00:18:51,374 --> 00:18:52,840
Yes, it isn't like a blank check, though.
579
00:18:52,876 --> 00:18:55,510
This idea does not deserve to be supported,
580
00:18:55,545 --> 00:18:56,844
because it's insane.
581
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,046
Yeah, that's what I need, Cece!
582
00:18:58,081 --> 00:18:59,872
I need insane!
583
00:18:59,897 --> 00:19:01,210
Look, Cece,
584
00:19:01,905 --> 00:19:04,388
it's no big deal, but I need this more
585
00:19:04,413 --> 00:19:07,069
than I've needed anything
in my entire life.
586
00:19:07,632 --> 00:19:10,224
(groaning): I don't want to...
587
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,185
CECE: KC, um...
588
00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:13,361
I really...
589
00:19:13,396 --> 00:19:16,297
wish I didn't have to be
the one to tell you this,
590
00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:18,633
but Winston is
591
00:19:19,733 --> 00:19:20,997
dead.
592
00:19:21,022 --> 00:19:21,970
Wait, what?
593
00:19:22,005 --> 00:19:22,837
Yeah, uh...
594
00:19:22,872 --> 00:19:24,472
Oh, my God!
595
00:19:24,507 --> 00:19:25,905
Uh, yeah, he...
596
00:19:26,155 --> 00:19:27,138
Oh, my God!
597
00:19:27,163 --> 00:19:29,177
- You okay, babe?
- No!
598
00:19:29,212 --> 00:19:31,079
Oh, the...?
599
00:19:32,485 --> 00:19:33,785
So you were...?
600
00:19:34,903 --> 00:19:38,067
Well, then, um, KC,
601
00:19:38,092 --> 00:19:39,694
you should know
602
00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:42,099
that Winston's last words,
603
00:19:42,124 --> 00:19:44,919
right before the truck...
604
00:19:44,944 --> 00:19:47,060
- Oh.
- hit him...
605
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:50,067
were, um, "This is all KC's fault.
606
00:19:50,092 --> 00:19:52,014
"And I wouldn't be dead
607
00:19:52,522 --> 00:19:53,601
if it wasn't for her."
608
00:19:53,910 --> 00:19:56,143
(wailing)
609
00:19:58,775 --> 00:20:00,575
Hah! (KC screams)
610
00:20:00,610 --> 00:20:02,757
It's me and I'm alive!
611
00:20:02,782 --> 00:20:03,851
He's alive!
612
00:20:03,876 --> 00:20:05,242
- Scared this dude.
- I know.
613
00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:06,366
- CECE: Hmm...
- WINSTON: Yeah.
614
00:20:06,401 --> 00:20:07,259
What? What is going on?
615
00:20:07,284 --> 00:20:08,439
Thank you for this, Cece. I needed this.
616
00:20:08,464 --> 00:20:09,864
- Yeah, you're welcome.
- This means a lot.
617
00:20:09,884 --> 00:20:11,266
Okay, but... Winston, I need you,
618
00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:12,257
I need you to go.
619
00:20:12,292 --> 00:20:14,292
Hey, guy from the picture...
620
00:20:14,327 --> 00:20:16,400
Mm-hmm if that's your real name...
621
00:20:16,735 --> 00:20:18,250
y'all look good together.
622
00:20:18,275 --> 00:20:19,097
We out.
623
00:20:19,132 --> 00:20:20,798
CECE: (chuckles) Bye.
624
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:22,800
- Wait, who...?
- I-I-I...
625
00:20:23,767 --> 00:20:26,093
Oh, my God, that was so messed up.
626
00:20:26,118 --> 00:20:28,329
- You've changed my life, Cece.
- Uh-huh.
627
00:20:28,354 --> 00:20:30,118
The cycle is broken!
628
00:20:30,127 --> 00:20:31,426
It's a whole new day.
629
00:20:31,461 --> 00:20:32,571
From now on,
630
00:20:32,596 --> 00:20:34,095
the woman I'm in a relationship with
631
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,078
is gonna be crying over me!
632
00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:38,085
That shouldn't be the goal, though.
633
00:20:38,110 --> 00:20:39,289
You know that, right?
634
00:20:39,314 --> 00:20:40,554
I want some ice cream.
635
00:20:40,579 --> 00:20:41,758
Never tell anyone we did this.
636
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:42,939
Can we get some ice cream?
637
00:20:42,964 --> 00:20:45,306
SCHMIDT: Well, whose stuff
is all this? Is Jess back?
638
00:20:46,326 --> 00:20:48,165
Oh... (laughs)
639
00:20:48,190 --> 00:20:50,492
- Jess, what are you doing here?
- Huh! Jess!
640
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,592
(high-pitched): Hi, Nick. Hi, Schmidt.
641
00:20:58,083 --> 00:20:59,275
Hey, Brendan.
642
00:20:59,601 --> 00:21:01,243
Cool vibe, Brendan.
643
00:21:01,306 --> 00:21:02,439
Is this cute?
644
00:21:03,715 --> 00:21:04,982
Mmm? Polka dots?
645
00:21:06,402 --> 00:21:08,770
Or... don't go anywhere.
646
00:21:11,834 --> 00:21:13,118
Yellow?
647
00:21:15,738 --> 00:21:16,852
Mm-mm.
648
00:21:18,014 --> 00:21:19,432
Wear the stripy one.
649
00:21:19,591 --> 00:21:21,571
- Hmm...
- I think that
650
00:21:21,596 --> 00:21:23,169
will look nice with
your face and everything.
651
00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:24,194
Yeah.
652
00:21:27,165 --> 00:21:29,047
- Yeah.
- That's a good one.
653
00:21:29,340 --> 00:21:30,422
That's nice.
654
00:21:31,112 --> 00:21:32,245
NICK: You look pretty today.
655
00:21:32,270 --> 00:21:33,141
BRANDON: Thank you.
656
00:21:33,165 --> 00:21:33,760
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.om
657
00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:38,360
Repair and Synchronization by
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