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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,391
♪
>>> GRANDPA, WHEN CAN WE CLOSE
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00:00:05,391 --> 00:00:08,055
THE DOOR?
I'M FREEZING.
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00:00:08,055 --> 00:00:11,300
I CAN'T FEEL MY NOSE, I DON'T
KNOW IF IT'S A NOSE OR FINGER
4
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,303
THING.
>> I NEED TO FIX THE OUTLET,
5
00:00:13,303 --> 00:00:17,388
ONCE THE SMOKE SMELL IS GONE, WE
CAN PUT THE TV BACK AND CLOSE
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00:00:17,388 --> 00:00:20,693
THE DOOR.
>> IT WAS WARM WHEN THE FLAMES
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00:00:20,693 --> 00:00:24,498
SHOT OUT OF THE WALL.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'RE ALL
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00:00:24,498 --> 00:00:28,674
UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW.
SUCK IT UP.
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00:00:28,674 --> 00:00:36,965
>> DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON MARK.
HE'S A SWEET, INNOCENT KID WHO
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00:00:36,965 --> 00:00:38,937
DOES ALL OF OUR LAUNDRY.
YOUR STUFF IS BY THE DRYER, BY
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00:00:38,937 --> 00:00:40,740
THE WAY.
>> I'M SORRY, KID.
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00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:43,213
IT'S NOT YOU.
I GOT SOME STUFF GOING ON.
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00:00:43,213 --> 00:00:48,050
>> THAT'S OKAY.
IS IT GOING TO KEEP YOU AND
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00:00:48,050 --> 00:00:54,979
LOUISE FROM GOING TO MY
ACAPPELLA CONCERT?
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00:00:54,979 --> 00:00:59,916
>> LOUISE WON'T MAKE IT.
SHE'S NOT HAPPY WITH ME.
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00:00:59,916 --> 00:01:03,891
I'LL KEEP BOTH SEATS IN CASE I
NOD OFF AND TIP OVER.
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00:01:03,891 --> 00:01:10,911
>> I FOUND SOMETHING WE CAN HAVE
FOR DINNER WHILE WE KEEP OUR
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00:01:10,911 --> 00:01:16,819
HANDS WARM ON THE TRASH CAN FIRE
I'M GOING TO START.
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00:01:16,819 --> 00:01:18,561
MAC AND CHEESE, WITH THE CHEESE
PACKETS MISSING.
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00:01:18,561 --> 00:01:22,126
>> THAT'S ON ME.
THE NACHO CHIPS I BOUGHT DIDN'T
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00:01:22,126 --> 00:01:27,653
HAVE ENOUGH CHEESE ON THEM.
SO I RECHEESED THEM FROM THE
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00:01:27,653 --> 00:01:28,925
PACKETS.
>> WE CAN PROBABLY PUT SOMETHING
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00:01:28,925 --> 00:01:34,933
ELSE ON THEM.
WE HAVE CHINESE MUSTARD AND RED
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00:01:34,933 --> 00:01:38,067
CHILI FLAKES.
JUST THROW THAT ON THE MACARONI
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00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:42,593
AND SEE WHO TAPS OUT FIRST.
>> ANOTHER WAY TO SOLVE THIS
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00:01:42,593 --> 00:01:45,798
PROBLEM IS BY SOMEBODY GOING
SHOPPING.
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00:01:45,798 --> 00:01:49,503
>> I HAVE THREE HOURS OF THE NEW
HAMPSHIRE PRIMARY I HAVE TO
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00:01:49,503 --> 00:01:51,605
WATCH FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW, AND
I'D LIKE SOME SNACKS.
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00:01:51,605 --> 00:01:55,811
>> THAT'S GREAT.
I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR KIDS
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00:01:55,811 --> 00:02:03,231
TO LEARN HOW POLITICS WORK.
>> YEAH, THE EARLY PRIMARIES ARE
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00:02:03,231 --> 00:02:05,905
FASCINATING.
YOU GET TO SEE THE YOUNG
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00:02:05,905 --> 00:02:10,511
CANDIDATES RIGHT BEFORE THE
CORPORATE ONES SWOOP IN WITH
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00:02:10,511 --> 00:02:16,699
THEIR CAMPAIGN DOLLARS.
>> WOW, MOM.
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00:02:16,699 --> 00:02:19,974
THAT'S PRETTY CYNICAL.
I THINK GEORGE WASHINGTON WAS A
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00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,546
GOOD CANDIDATE.
>> HE WAS RICH.
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00:02:21,546 --> 00:02:23,749
HE DIDN'T WANT IT.
THEY FORCED HIM.
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00:02:23,749 --> 00:02:26,452
>> OKAY, LINCOLN.
>> SHOT.
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00:02:26,452 --> 00:02:28,055
>> HAMILTON.
>> YEAH, HE WAS GOOD.
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00:02:28,055 --> 00:02:31,439
BUT HE WASN'T PRESIDENT.
HE'S JUST A CHARACTER IN A
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00:02:31,439 --> 00:02:38,078
REALLY COOL MUSICAL WE'LL NEVER
BE RICH ENOUGH TO AFFORD TO SEE.
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00:02:38,078 --> 00:02:41,983
OH, AND SHOT.
>> YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM BEING
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00:02:41,983 --> 00:02:44,327
OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THIS COUNTRY.
EVERYBODY HAS A RIGHT TO BE
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00:02:44,327 --> 00:02:46,630
HEARD.
DID YOU KNOW ANYONE CAN PICK UP
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00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:49,614
THE PHONE AND CALL THE WHITE
HOUSE.
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00:02:49,614 --> 00:02:52,548
>> NO WAY.
IF YOU CAN'T CALL THE ROCK, YOU
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00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,350
CAN'T CALL THE WHITE HOUSE.
>> WATCH.
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00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,553
>> THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE
WHITE HOUSE --
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00:02:56,553 --> 00:02:59,257
>> ARE YOU CRAZY?
THEY'RE GOING TO TRACE THIS BACK
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00:02:59,257 --> 00:03:03,613
TO US AND PUT US ON THE NO-FLY
LIST.
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00:03:03,613 --> 00:03:07,318
>> WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANY OF
US FLEW?
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00:03:07,318 --> 00:03:12,294
IF THEY EVER PUT US ON THE
NO-BUS LIST, THEN WE'LL HAVE A
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00:03:12,294 --> 00:03:14,667
PROBLEM.
>> WHY ARE YOU SCARED OF THE
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00:03:14,667 --> 00:03:16,470
GOVERNMENT?
THEY WORK FOR US.
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00:03:16,470 --> 00:03:19,204
YOU CAN EVEN TWEET THE PRESIDENT
AND TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT.
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00:03:19,204 --> 00:03:26,033
>> I'M NOT SCARED.
HI, DONALD TRUMP, SINCE YOU WORK
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00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:32,572
FOR US, CAN YOU SEND US SOME
CHEESE PACKETS FOR OUR MACARONI.
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00:03:32,572 --> 00:03:36,807
THIS IS REAL MARY CONNER, FROM
LANFORD, ILLINOIS.
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00:03:36,807 --> 00:03:42,835
>> HE'LL PROBABLY ANSWER BACK.
THAT GUY LOVES TO TWEET.
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00:03:42,835 --> 00:03:44,408
THAT'S HOW WE LEARN WHERE OUR
MILITARY IS.
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00:03:44,408 --> 00:03:49,174
>> HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
IT'S GOOD TO LIVE ON YOUR OWN,
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00:03:49,174 --> 00:03:51,417
BUT YOU MISS YOUR MOMMY, DON'T
YOU?
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00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:53,900
>> NO, GROSS.
MY LAPTOP DIED.
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00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:58,807
I CAME TO SEE IF IT WAS STILL
UNDER WARRANTY.
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00:03:58,807 --> 00:04:10,403
>> OF COURSE, SHE'LL SECOND IT
BACK TO WHERE SHE BOUGHT IT, GUY
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00:04:10,403 --> 00:04:13,206
ON OFF-RAMP IN OLD ARMY JACKET.
>> I NEED A NEW ONE.
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00:04:13,206 --> 00:04:15,209
>> ARE YOU INSANE, WE DON'T EVEN
HAVE FOOD.
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00:04:15,209 --> 00:04:19,685
>> I'M JUST TAKE MARK'S.
>> I'M GOING TO USE IT TO WRITE
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00:04:19,685 --> 00:04:24,862
MY REPORT ON THE PRIMARY.
>> JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK HE'S A
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00:04:24,862 --> 00:04:31,851
DORK DOESN'T MEAN YOU THINK HE
SHOULD HAVE YOUR LAPTOP.
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00:04:31,851 --> 00:04:34,125
>> YOU'RE FINALLY OLD ENOUGH TO
VOTE.
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00:04:34,125 --> 00:04:37,960
AND WHOEVER WINS THE PRIMARY IS
YOUR NOMINEE.
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00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:42,296
>> WHAT HAPPENS IF SOMEONE I
CARE ABOUT GETS THE NOMINATION
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00:04:42,296 --> 00:04:46,421
OVER SOMEBODY ELSE I DON'T CARE
ABOUT?
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00:04:46,421 --> 00:04:54,001
ALL POLITICIANS ARE THE SAME.
>> YES, SOME OF THEM ARE
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00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:56,565
TERRIBLE, BUT IF YOU DO
RESEARCH, YOU'LL FIND SOME ARE
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00:04:56,565 --> 00:04:59,469
REALLY, REALLY TERRIBLE.
IF YOU VOTE, YOU'LL BE PROUD TO
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00:04:59,469 --> 00:05:01,762
ELECT SOMEBODY WHO IS JUST
TERRIBLE.
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00:05:01,762 --> 00:05:08,731
>> SHE'S PROBABLY JUST HUNGRY.
SHE'LL FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE
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00:05:08,731 --> 00:05:14,809
GOVERNMENT ONCE SHE EATS A
DRAWER FULL OF CONDIMENTS.
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00:05:14,809 --> 00:05:15,911
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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00:05:15,911 --> 00:05:18,965
>> YOU ARE WATCHING "THE
CONNERS" LIVE RIGHT NOW, IN
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00:05:18,965 --> 00:05:23,141
FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
>> HEY, LOUISE.
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00:05:23,141 --> 00:05:24,903
>> HEY, DARLENE.
WHAT'S UP?
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00:05:24,903 --> 00:05:28,408
>> WE WERE ON OUR WAY TO THE
STORE, BUT THAT SEEMED LIKE A
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00:05:28,408 --> 00:05:30,010
LOT OF WORK.
SO WE CAME HERE.
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00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:32,684
>> BECKY, I WAS GOING TO CALL
YOU.
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00:05:32,684 --> 00:05:37,039
I'M LEAVING ON TOUR WITH MY BAND
ON WEDNESDAY.
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00:05:37,039 --> 00:05:39,212
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD
COVER MY SHIFT FOR A WEEK UNTIL
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00:05:39,212 --> 00:05:42,347
MY REPLACEMENT STARTS.
>> HOW LONG WILL YOU BE GONE?
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00:05:42,347 --> 00:05:45,080
>> AT LEAST THREE MONTHS.
>> WOW.
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00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,654
DAD DIDN'T MENTION YOU WERE
GOING ON TOUR.
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00:05:47,654 --> 00:05:50,257
>> HE DIDN'T?
>> NOPE.
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00:05:50,257 --> 00:05:53,842
>> YEAH.
I BET HE WAS UPSET WHEN HE FOUND
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00:05:53,842 --> 00:05:57,447
OUT YOU WERE LEAVING.
DID HE TELL YOU HE DIDN'T WANT
95
00:05:57,447 --> 00:05:59,390
YOU TO GO?
>> NO, HE SAID IT WAS A GREAT
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00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:00,651
OPPORTUNITY AND I SHOULD TAKE
IT.
97
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:06,699
SO I'M TAKING IT.
>> DAD IS AN IDIOT, A WOMAN WITH
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00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:10,715
THAT WAISTLINE IN THIS TOWN, AND
NO METH PROBLEM?
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00:06:10,715 --> 00:06:14,420
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND THAT.
>> YEAH, I BET HE ALREADY
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00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:16,693
REGRETS IT.
THAT'S WHY HE'S BEEN IN SUCH A
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00:06:16,693 --> 00:06:19,867
BAD MOOD.
HE'S WORRIED SHE'S GOING TO MEET
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00:06:19,867 --> 00:06:26,686
SOMEBODY ON THE ROAD.
>> WHY WOULD LOUISE CHEAT ON
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00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:31,092
DAD?
>> THE LAST TIME I SAW THEM
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00:06:31,092 --> 00:06:34,897
TOGETHER, THEY WERE ON THE COUCH
AND HE FELL ASLEEP AND FELL
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00:06:34,897 --> 00:06:36,540
OVER.
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE DAD IS GOING
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00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:42,698
TO BLOW THIS.
>> HE HASN'T DATED IN 45 YEARS.
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00:06:42,698 --> 00:06:48,666
IT'S LIKE CHIPPING A NEANDERTHAL
OUT OF THE ICE.
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00:06:48,666 --> 00:06:51,640
YOU CAN'T JUST THROW HIM ON
TINDER.
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00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:56,446
>> HE'S NOT GOING TO SAY HE
LOVES HER IN TWO DAYS.
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00:06:56,446 --> 00:07:00,302
HE'S NEVER EVEN SAID IT TO ME.
>> TAKE A HINT AND MOVE ON.
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00:07:00,302 --> 00:07:03,336
>> WE ALL KNOW THAT DAD OPENS UP
WHEN HE DRINKS.
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00:07:03,336 --> 00:07:07,882
WE THROW A FAKE LITTLE GOING
AWAY PARTY, GET A FEW SHOTS IN
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00:07:07,882 --> 00:07:11,747
HIM, AND MAYBE HE OPENS UP AND
CEMENTS THE RELATIONSHIP.
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00:07:11,747 --> 00:07:14,501
>> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
>> NO, IT'S NOT.
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00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,705
>> NO, IT'S NOT.
>> LOOK, IT'S ALL I GOT.
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00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:22,211
DO YOU WANT TO HELP DAD OFF THE
POT WHEN HE'S 80?
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00:07:22,211 --> 00:07:32,175
>> I'M BACK TO LIKING IT.
>> LOUISE, COULDN'T HELP
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00:07:32,175 --> 00:07:33,376
OVERHEARING, I WORK WITH DAN
EVERY DAY.
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00:07:33,376 --> 00:07:37,582
AND NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS, HE'S
GOING TO BE MISSING HIS LADY
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00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,555
LIKE CRAZY.
>> I'M NOT HIS LADY.
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00:07:39,555 --> 00:07:43,830
AND JUST BETWEEN US, DAN
COULDN'T COMMIT TO A REAL
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00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:49,147
RELATIONSHIP.
SO I BROKE UP WITH HIM.
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00:07:49,147 --> 00:07:54,925
>> LOUISE, I'M SHOOK.
BUT I UNDERSTAND WHAT A TOUGH
124
00:07:54,925 --> 00:07:59,431
NUT TO CRACK DAN IS.
THIS ONE TIME, WE HAD A FEW
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00:07:59,431 --> 00:08:02,035
BEERS, THROWING FIRECRACKERS AT
ONE ANOTHER.
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00:08:02,035 --> 00:08:03,987
I MADE THE MISTAKE OF OPENING
UP.
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00:08:03,987 --> 00:08:05,620
BUT IT'S OKAY.
I DIDN'T SAY I LOVE YOU FOR HIM.
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00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:12,128
I SAID IT FOR ME.
>> THANKS, DWIGHT.
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00:08:12,128 --> 00:08:14,131
I'M JUST GLAD I'M GOING ON THIS
TOUR.
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00:08:14,131 --> 00:08:17,836
I REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM
RIGHT NOW.
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00:08:17,836 --> 00:08:21,030
>> SHOULD WE GET THEM IN THE
SAME ROOM TOGETHER AND JUST LET
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00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:23,934
THE MAGIC HAPPEN?
>> I THINK DAD WILL REALLY THANK
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00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:27,699
US FOR GETTING INVOLVED.
>> MAYBE YOUR DAD WILL.
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00:08:27,699 --> 00:08:31,344
MY DAD IS A VENGEFUL GOD WHO
WILL STRIKE US DOWN AND SCATTER
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00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:35,059
OUR BONES TO THE FOUR CORNERS OF
THE EARTH.
136
00:08:35,059 --> 00:08:37,633
>> IT DOESN'T MEAN WE STILL
CAN'T HAVE A NICE EVENING.
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00:08:45,544 --> 00:08:47,977
>>> WHAT'S THE UPDATE ON NEW
HAMPSHIRE?
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00:08:47,977 --> 00:08:52,683
>> 15% OF THE VOTE IS IN.
I HAVE A THEORY THE DNC IS
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00:08:52,683 --> 00:08:54,486
HOLDING BACK SOME OF THE
RESULTS.
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00:08:54,486 --> 00:08:59,042
THEY DON'T WANT TO AFFECT THE
NUMBERS IN IOWA.
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00:08:59,042 --> 00:09:06,322
>> YOU'RE NOT LETTING THAT GO,
HUH?
142
00:09:06,322 --> 00:09:09,526
SERIOUSLY, HOW IS BUTTIGIEG
DOING?
143
00:09:09,526 --> 00:09:11,649
>> YOU'RE ONLY ASKING ME BECAUSE
WE'RE BOTH GAY.
144
00:09:11,649 --> 00:09:22,393
>> NO, I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE
REALLY INTO MAYORS.
145
00:09:22,393 --> 00:09:23,264
OKAY, I'M SORRY I MADE THAT
ASSUMPTION.
146
00:09:23,264 --> 00:09:27,630
THAT WAS PRETTY UNEVOLVED.
>> YOU'RE WATCHING THE PRIMARY?
147
00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:31,926
HOW IS YOUR BOYFRIEND DOING?
>> WOW, BEN.
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00:09:31,926 --> 00:09:37,293
SOME PEOPLE DON'T GET IT, RIGHT?
>> HE'S AN EXCELLENT POLITICIAN,
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00:09:37,293 --> 00:09:41,068
AND QUALIFIED TO BE PRESIDENT.
BUT HE'S NOT NECESSARILY MY
150
00:09:41,068 --> 00:09:43,772
CANDIDATE JUST BECAUSE HE'S GAY.
DID ALL BLACK PEOPLE VOTE FOR
151
00:09:43,772 --> 00:09:48,198
OBAMA?
>> YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.
152
00:09:48,198 --> 00:09:52,233
ABOUT 96%.
>> OKAY.
153
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:56,369
BEVERLY ROSE IS ASLEEP.
CAN I GET MY MONEY NOW?
154
00:09:56,369 --> 00:10:01,145
>> HERE YOU GO.
YOU GET THE OTHER HALF IF YOU'RE
155
00:10:01,145 --> 00:10:07,504
HERE WHEN I GET BACK.
>> FINE.
156
00:10:07,504 --> 00:10:11,409
>> WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS
STRONG PERFORMANCE
157
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,013
BY AMY
158
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,445
KLOBUCHAR.
>> IS THE PRIMARY OVER?
159
00:10:15,445 --> 00:10:17,988
>> NO, BUT SANDERS IS DOING
WELL.
160
00:10:17,988 --> 00:10:23,045
SOME EXPERTS THINK IF HE WINS,
THERE'S A CHANCE HE MIGHT STOP
161
00:10:23,045 --> 00:10:28,252
YELLING.
>> IT DOESN'T MATTER.
162
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:33,489
BLOOMBERG JUST BOUGHT THE STATE
AND RENAMED IT NEW BLOOMSHIRE.
163
00:10:33,489 --> 00:10:35,011
>> IS YOUR BOYFRIEND STILL
RUNNING?
164
00:10:35,011 --> 00:10:38,075
>> OH, MY GOD.
IF YOU DON'T TAKE THIS
165
00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:41,750
SERIOUSLY, YOU GET THE
GOVERNMENT YOU DESERVE.
166
00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:50,732
PETE HAS GREAT IDEAS ABOUT
HEALTH CARE AND A PUGGLE RESCUE
167
00:10:50,732 --> 00:10:53,586
THAT IS REALLY CUTE.
>> BERNIE SANDERS IS LEADING.
168
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:57,221
>> MAN, WARREN COULD USE A
BOOST.
169
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:59,955
>> IT'S NICE TO HAVE A CANDIDATE
WHO IS ALSO A SINGLE MOM.
170
00:10:59,955 --> 00:11:04,230
SHE PROVIDED CHILD CARE FOR THE
CAUCUSES LAST WEEK.
171
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:07,735
I WAS THIS CLOSE TO FLYING TO
IOWA SO I COULD GO TO A MOVIE.
172
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:12,892
>> WE HAVE TO WATCH THIS STUPID
THING, LET ME HAVE THE LAPTOP.
173
00:11:12,892 --> 00:11:22,635
I HAVE TO STUDY FOR MY G.E.D.
>> WHAT DOES IT STAND FOR?
174
00:11:22,635 --> 00:11:32,068
>> GENERAL EQUIVALENCY.
>> THERE, YOU JUST PASSED.
175
00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:36,744
WHAT THE HELL?
YOU ALMOST BROKE MY LAPTOP, YOU
176
00:11:36,744 --> 00:11:39,208
PSYCHO.
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY STUFF.
177
00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:41,731
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING
BUT YOURSELF.
178
00:11:41,731 --> 00:11:45,867
>> RELAX, IT'S NOT BROKEN.
>> YOU DON'T LIVE HERE.
179
00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:49,341
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE?
AND DON'T SAY GOOD-BYE THIS
180
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:51,614
TIME, EITHER.
>> WHAT?
181
00:11:51,614 --> 00:11:54,148
YOU'RE MAD THAT I MOVED OUT?
>> YEAH.
182
00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:58,283
YOU JUST WALKED OUT AND LEFT ME
HERE WITH THESE CRAZY PEOPLE.
183
00:11:58,283 --> 00:12:02,409
>> WHOA, HEY, HEY.
YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE ME FEEL
184
00:12:02,409 --> 00:12:07,346
GUILTY BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO
LIVE MY OWN LIFE.
185
00:12:07,346 --> 00:12:10,149
IF YOU LOOK AT OUR FAMILY, YOU
MAY NOT KNOW IT, BUT PEOPLE ARE
186
00:12:10,149 --> 00:12:13,894
SUPPOSED TO MOVE OUT.
>> I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO NOW.
187
00:12:13,894 --> 00:12:23,918
I TOLD GRANDPA WE HAD A BOY
CRUSH, AND WE WATCHED SPARTACUS
188
00:12:23,918 --> 00:12:27,663
AND ATE A BUCKET OF FRIED
CHICKEN.
189
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,766
>> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
>> I DO HAVE A PROBLEM, BUT IT'S
190
00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:33,451
A WASTE OF TIME TALKING TO YOU.
SCREW YOU!
191
00:12:33,451 --> 00:12:36,224
WE ONLY HAVE ONE TV IN THE
HOUSE.
192
00:12:36,224 --> 00:12:51,455
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE.
>> OH, HEY.
193
00:12:51,455 --> 00:12:56,702
THANKS FOR OFFERING TO CLOSE UP,
IT'S PRETTY DEAD IN HERE.
194
00:12:56,702 --> 00:13:01,008
I'M GOING TO GO HOME AND PACK.
>> WHERE THE HELL ARE D.J. AND
195
00:13:01,008 --> 00:13:04,973
DAD?
LOUISE IS GOING TO LEAVE.
196
00:13:04,973 --> 00:13:08,969
>> I'LL STALL HER.
WAIT!
197
00:13:08,969 --> 00:13:14,276
WE'RE NOT GOING TO SEE YOU FOR A
WHILE, AND I JUST WANT TO LET
198
00:13:14,276 --> 00:13:17,811
YOU KNOW WHAT AN INSPIRATION YOU
ARE, ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE
199
00:13:17,811 --> 00:13:24,600
TAUGHT ME.
LIKE PUTTING RICE IN THE SALT
200
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:25,271
SHAKERS.
THANKS.
201
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,504
>> SURPRISE!
>> IT'S YOUR GOING AWAY PARTY.
202
00:13:27,504 --> 00:13:29,977
>> YOU TOLD ME SHE ALREADY LEFT.
>> YES, I DID.
203
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,951
>> THIS IS SWEET, BUT I HAVE TO
GET HOME.
204
00:13:32,951 --> 00:13:36,185
>> WAIT, NOT UNTIL WE GET A GOOD
PICTURE OF YOU.
205
00:13:36,185 --> 00:13:41,713
>> THAT WAY YOU'LL HAVE A
PICTURE YOU OF DAN YOU CAN TAKE
206
00:13:41,713 --> 00:13:46,479
WITH YOU ON THE ROAD.
>> I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THIS.
207
00:13:46,479 --> 00:13:49,123
>> HOLD ON A SECOND.
I CAN'T GET IT OFF SELFIE.
208
00:13:49,123 --> 00:13:53,058
>> WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL YOUR
FAMILY THAT WE BROKE UP?
209
00:13:53,058 --> 00:13:56,583
>> BECAUSE IF I TALK TO MY
FAMILY, THAT ENCOURAGES THEM TO
210
00:13:56,583 --> 00:14:00,819
TALK BACK TO ME.
>> NOW IT'S AN LANDSCAPE.
211
00:14:00,819 --> 00:14:04,153
HOLD ON.
>> ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
212
00:14:04,153 --> 00:14:06,927
LET'S NOT EMBARRASS ANYBODY, GET
THIS OVER QUICK, AND YOU CAN
213
00:14:06,927 --> 00:14:11,162
TELL THEM WHEN I LEAVE.
>> OKAY, I GOT IT.
214
00:14:11,162 --> 00:14:13,716
>> ALL RIGHT, THIS WAS GREAT.
BUT I HAVE TO GET HOME.
215
00:14:13,716 --> 00:14:16,119
I'M LEAVING SO EARLY IN THE
MORNING.
216
00:14:16,119 --> 00:14:21,426
>> WHY GO TO BED AT ALL?
LET'S DO SOME SHOTS.
217
00:14:21,426 --> 00:14:23,970
TO LOUISE, WE'RE GOING TO MISS
YOU.
218
00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:30,859
>> TO LOUISE!
>> TO DAN, WHO IS GOING TO MISS
219
00:14:30,859 --> 00:14:31,790
LOUISE.
>> TO DAN!
220
00:14:31,790 --> 00:14:34,834
>> TO LOUISE AND DAN, WHO WILL
MISS EACH OTHER.
221
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:37,668
>> TO LOUISE AND DAN!
>> DARLENE, STOP.
222
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,372
>> OKAY, DAD, THEN YOU MAKE A
TOAST.
223
00:14:40,372 --> 00:14:43,606
TO LOUISE.
>> I SAID STOP.
224
00:14:43,606 --> 00:14:49,134
I NKNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, AND
DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.
225
00:14:49,134 --> 00:14:50,305
LOUISE, WAIT.
LET ME DRIVE YOU HOME.
226
00:14:50,305 --> 00:14:54,411
>> NO, I NEED THIS TO END.
AND I REALLY NEED YOU TO LEAVE
227
00:14:54,411 --> 00:15:03,673
ME ALONE.
SORRY, GUYS.
228
00:15:07,188 --> 00:15:11,193
>>> YOU KNOW, HERE IN THE CONNER
FAMILY, WE'RE NOT SHY ABOUT
229
00:15:11,193 --> 00:15:16,090
TELLING IT HOW WE FEEL.
>> WE'RE TELLING YOU, DEMOCRACY
230
00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:24,161
ONLY WORKS IF YOU GET UP AND
VOTE.
231
00:15:24,161 --> 00:15:31,461
>> WE'RE TEAMING UP WITH I AM A
VOTER TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE
232
00:15:31,461 --> 00:15:39,502
REGISTER TO VOTE.
VISIT IAMAVOTER.COM.
233
00:15:39,502 --> 00:15:45,710
>>> THE DAY AFTER THE CONTEST IS
OVER IS A TOUGH DAY IF YOU
234
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:47,582
DIDN'T GET ANY DELEGATES IN THE
PREVIOUS STATE.
235
00:15:47,582 --> 00:15:48,964
IF ELIZABETH WARREN OR JOE
BIDEN --
236
00:15:48,964 --> 00:15:52,399
>> HEY.
I CHECKED THE PRIMARY ON MY
237
00:15:52,399 --> 00:15:56,174
PHONE.
THE OLDER CANDIDATES ARE SAYING
238
00:15:56,174 --> 00:16:00,049
THEY HAVE A BIGGER ADVANTAGE
OVER THE YOUNGER CANDIDATES
239
00:16:00,049 --> 00:16:01,311
BECAUSE THEY HAVE MORE
EXPERIENCE.
240
00:16:01,311 --> 00:16:06,538
BUT I SAY A RAP BATTLE AT A CLUB
WILL MAKE IT WAY MORE FAIR.
241
00:16:06,538 --> 00:16:11,114
>> AUNT JACKIE IS HERE, YOU CAN
LEAVE.
242
00:16:11,114 --> 00:16:20,086
>> I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
YOU CAN TELL ME ABOUT YOUR
243
00:16:20,086 --> 00:16:20,827
PRO
PROBLEM.
244
00:16:20,827 --> 00:16:24,342
COME ON, SPILL THE TEA.
>> REMEMBER AUSTIN?
245
00:16:24,342 --> 00:16:26,114
WELL, WE KIND OF GOT TOGETHER
AGAIN.
246
00:16:26,114 --> 00:16:30,250
BUT HE IGNORES ME AT SCHOOL
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT ANYONE
247
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:34,426
TO KNOW HE'S GAY.
HE EVEN MAKES FUN OF ME
248
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:37,259
SOMETIMES, AND IT MAKES ME FEEL
REALLY BAD ABOUT MYSELF.
249
00:16:37,259 --> 00:16:42,386
BUT I LIKE HIM.
>> DUMP HIS ASS.
250
00:16:42,386 --> 00:16:46,722
>> BUT IT'S NOT ALL HIS FAULT.
HIS FAMILY JUST DOESN'T ACCEPT
251
00:16:46,722 --> 00:16:50,167
HIM FOR WHO HE IS.
>> THAT DOESN'T GIVE HIM THE
252
00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:53,371
RIGHT TO TREAT YOU LIKE CRAP,
MARK.
253
00:16:53,371 --> 00:16:54,503
BOY, BYE.
>> BUT --
254
00:16:54,503 --> 00:16:57,987
>> NO.
YOU WANTED ME BACK IN YOUR LIFE,
255
00:16:57,987 --> 00:17:03,395
YOU GOT ME.
FROM NOW ON, YOU'RE RUNNING ALL
256
00:17:03,395 --> 00:17:06,639
OF YOUR BOYFRIENDS BY ME.
>> AND IF YOU EVER GET A
257
00:17:06,639 --> 00:17:09,643
BOYFRIEND, YOU CAN RUN HIM BY
ME.
258
00:17:09,643 --> 00:17:11,526
>> I'M A STRONG, INDEPENDENT
WOMAN.
259
00:17:11,526 --> 00:17:13,859
THEREFORE, I'M ALONE.
>> WHO'S AHEAD?
260
00:17:13,859 --> 00:17:18,135
>> I DON'T KNOW.
THE BACHELOR PROMOS AT THE
261
00:17:18,135 --> 00:17:21,639
BOTTOM KEEP COVERING IT UP.
>> OH, THEY MOVED THE ROSE.
262
00:17:21,639 --> 00:17:26,746
BERNIE HAS 28%.
KLOBUCHAR IS UP TO 21%.
263
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:34,406
AND YANG DROPPED OUT.
>> HOW DID THE PARTY GO?
264
00:17:34,406 --> 00:17:37,310
>> IT WIAS A GOING AWAY PARTY,
AND SHE CERTAINLY WENT AWAY.
265
00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:42,648
>> NICE JOB, YOU THREW A PARTY
FOR TWO PEOPLE WHO BROKE UP LAST
266
00:17:42,648 --> 00:17:44,190
WEEK.
>> WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?
267
00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:46,343
>> BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR
DAMN BUSINESS?
268
00:17:46,343 --> 00:17:49,507
>> GOT IT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
269
00:17:49,507 --> 00:17:54,684
>> YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO STOP,
ARE YOU?
270
00:17:54,684 --> 00:17:57,888
LOUISE BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE
I WASN'T READY TO COMMIT.
271
00:17:57,888 --> 00:18:02,474
AND NOW YOU'VE MADE IT WORSE.
>> DON'T BLAME US.
272
00:18:02,474 --> 00:18:04,347
YOU HAVE BEEN DRAGGING YOUR FEET
WITH HER FOREVER.
273
00:18:04,347 --> 00:18:06,450
WE WERE GIVING YOU A CHANCE TO
MAKE IT RIGHT.
274
00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:09,954
>> I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT RIGHT
WHEN I WAS READY.
275
00:18:09,954 --> 00:18:13,790
I'VE BEEN HAVING A HELL OF A
TIME GETTING OVER YOUR MOM.
276
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:17,234
SO I WENT TO CHURCH.
>> YOU WENT TO CHURCH?
277
00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:22,351
>> YES, I WENT TO CHURCH.
THEY WERE HAVING A RUMMAGE SALE
278
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:26,026
AND I DRIFTED IN.
I WAS LOOKING FOR A NEW RADIO
279
00:18:26,026 --> 00:18:29,331
FOR THE TRUCK, AND I FIGURED
NOBODY IS GOING TO SCREW YOU IN
280
00:18:29,331 --> 00:18:31,734
THE CHURCH.
THE FATHER WAS THERE, AND I TOLD
281
00:18:31,734 --> 00:18:39,324
HIM WHAT WAS BOTHERING ME.
>> WHAT DID HE SAY?
282
00:18:39,324 --> 00:18:42,298
>> DON'T LAUGH.
HE TOLD ME TO WRITE A LETTER TO
283
00:18:42,298 --> 00:18:46,934
YOUR MOM ABOUT HOW GUILTY I WAS
FEELING ABOUT LOUISE, AND THEN
284
00:18:46,934 --> 00:18:49,908
SET IT ON FIRE, SO I COULD LET
IT GO AND MOVE ON.
285
00:18:49,908 --> 00:18:52,091
>> DID YOU DO IT?
>> NO.
286
00:18:52,091 --> 00:18:56,337
I WAS GOING TO DO IT IN TWO
WEEKS ON YOUR MOM'S BIRTHDAY,
287
00:18:56,337 --> 00:18:59,601
AND TALK TO LOUISE.
BUT NOW IT'S POINTLESS.
288
00:18:59,601 --> 00:19:02,475
SHE NEVER WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN.
>> OH, COME ON, DAD.
289
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,409
YOU'RE JUST GOING TO GIVE UP AND
BE ONE OF THOSE WEIRD OLD DUDES
290
00:19:05,409 --> 00:19:10,035
THAT GOES TO THE DMV TO BE
AROUND PEOPLE?
291
00:19:10,035 --> 00:19:13,069
JUST LET US HELP YOU.
WE CAN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
292
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:16,074
>> NO, WE AREN'T FIGURING
ANYTHING OUT.
293
00:19:16,074 --> 00:19:18,977
I WILL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT IN
MY WAY.
294
00:19:18,977 --> 00:19:21,851
IN MY TIME.
>> FINE.
295
00:19:21,851 --> 00:19:27,639
IT'S ALL YOU.
WHEN YOU SAY IN MY TIME, ARE YOU
296
00:19:27,639 --> 00:19:29,812
TALKING MONTHS, YEARS?
>> JUST GIVE US A BALLPARK.
297
00:19:29,812 --> 00:19:33,016
>> GO TO YOUR ROOMS.
>> WE'RE NOT CHILDREN.
298
00:19:33,016 --> 00:19:35,269
>> YOU WANT TO PAY RENT?
>> GO, BECKY, GO!
299
00:19:38,824 --> 00:19:45,453
>>> BERNIE SANDERS' TEAM WILL
POINT OUT IF THAT WERE THE
300
00:19:45,453 --> 00:19:47,155
CASE --
>> HELLO?
301
00:19:47,155 --> 00:19:55,326
>> HI, THIS IS HILLARY CLINTON
AND I'M CALLING ON BEHALF OF THE
302
00:19:55,326 --> 00:20:01,425
DEMOCRATIC PARTY.
>> STUPID ROBO CALL.
303
00:20:01,425 --> 00:20:07,663
>> PEOPLE HAVE ACCUSED ME OF
BEING A ROBOT, BUT THIS IS
304
00:20:07,663 --> 00:20:10,998
REALLY HILLARY CLINTON.
>> LET ME GET WHERE THERE IS
305
00:20:10,998 --> 00:20:11,899
BETTER RECEPTION.
OKAY.
306
00:20:11,899 --> 00:20:15,424
THIS IS BETTER.
>> YEAH, I SEE THAT YOU JUST
307
00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:19,459
TURNED 18, HARRIS.
AND THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT
308
00:20:19,459 --> 00:20:22,834
ELECTION.
YOU KNOW, AS I GAZE UPON THE
309
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:26,869
LINCOLN MEMORIAL, HERE IN OUR
NATION'S CAPITAL, I THINK ABOUT
310
00:20:26,869 --> 00:20:32,927
THE ROLE OF WOMEN IN THIS
ELECTION, AND HOW WE'RE STRONGER
311
00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,170
TOGETHER.
>> HEY, WHILE YOU'RE IN THE
312
00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:41,008
NATION'S CAPITAL, WOULD YOU MIND
CLEANING THE LINT TRAP?
313
00:20:41,008 --> 00:20:44,042
>> AH!
HARRIS, JUST VOTE.
314
00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:45,714
>> WHY?
>> BECAUSE SOME OF THESE PEOPLE
315
00:20:45,714 --> 00:20:52,504
ARE TRYING TO HELP YOU.
WARREN AND SANDERS WANT TO PAY
316
00:20:52,504 --> 00:21:03,288
YOUR COLLEGE TUITION.
YANG WANTS TO GIVE YOU $1,000 A
317
00:21:03,288 --> 00:21:09,376
MONTH.
>> OKAY, I'LL VOTE.
318
00:21:09,376 --> 00:21:23,986
>> THIS COUNTRY IS DOOMED.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
26019
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