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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,391 ♪ >>> GRANDPA, WHEN CAN WE CLOSE 2 00:00:05,391 --> 00:00:08,055 THE DOOR? I'M FREEZING. 3 00:00:08,055 --> 00:00:11,300 I CAN'T FEEL MY NOSE, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S A NOSE OR FINGER 4 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,303 THING. >> I NEED TO FIX THE OUTLET, 5 00:00:13,303 --> 00:00:17,388 ONCE THE SMOKE SMELL IS GONE, WE CAN PUT THE TV BACK AND CLOSE 6 00:00:17,388 --> 00:00:20,693 THE DOOR. >> IT WAS WARM WHEN THE FLAMES 7 00:00:20,693 --> 00:00:24,498 SHOT OUT OF THE WALL. >> YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'RE ALL 8 00:00:24,498 --> 00:00:28,674 UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW. SUCK IT UP. 9 00:00:28,674 --> 00:00:36,965 >> DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON MARK. HE'S A SWEET, INNOCENT KID WHO 10 00:00:36,965 --> 00:00:38,937 DOES ALL OF OUR LAUNDRY. YOUR STUFF IS BY THE DRYER, BY 11 00:00:38,937 --> 00:00:40,740 THE WAY. >> I'M SORRY, KID. 12 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:43,213 IT'S NOT YOU. I GOT SOME STUFF GOING ON. 13 00:00:43,213 --> 00:00:48,050 >> THAT'S OKAY. IS IT GOING TO KEEP YOU AND 14 00:00:48,050 --> 00:00:54,979 LOUISE FROM GOING TO MY ACAPPELLA CONCERT? 15 00:00:54,979 --> 00:00:59,916 >> LOUISE WON'T MAKE IT. SHE'S NOT HAPPY WITH ME. 16 00:00:59,916 --> 00:01:03,891 I'LL KEEP BOTH SEATS IN CASE I NOD OFF AND TIP OVER. 17 00:01:03,891 --> 00:01:10,911 >> I FOUND SOMETHING WE CAN HAVE FOR DINNER WHILE WE KEEP OUR 18 00:01:10,911 --> 00:01:16,819 HANDS WARM ON THE TRASH CAN FIRE I'M GOING TO START. 19 00:01:16,819 --> 00:01:18,561 MAC AND CHEESE, WITH THE CHEESE PACKETS MISSING. 20 00:01:18,561 --> 00:01:22,126 >> THAT'S ON ME. THE NACHO CHIPS I BOUGHT DIDN'T 21 00:01:22,126 --> 00:01:27,653 HAVE ENOUGH CHEESE ON THEM. SO I RECHEESED THEM FROM THE 22 00:01:27,653 --> 00:01:28,925 PACKETS. >> WE CAN PROBABLY PUT SOMETHING 23 00:01:28,925 --> 00:01:34,933 ELSE ON THEM. WE HAVE CHINESE MUSTARD AND RED 24 00:01:34,933 --> 00:01:38,067 CHILI FLAKES. JUST THROW THAT ON THE MACARONI 25 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:42,593 AND SEE WHO TAPS OUT FIRST. >> ANOTHER WAY TO SOLVE THIS 26 00:01:42,593 --> 00:01:45,798 PROBLEM IS BY SOMEBODY GOING SHOPPING. 27 00:01:45,798 --> 00:01:49,503 >> I HAVE THREE HOURS OF THE NEW HAMPSHIRE PRIMARY I HAVE TO 28 00:01:49,503 --> 00:01:51,605 WATCH FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW, AND I'D LIKE SOME SNACKS. 29 00:01:51,605 --> 00:01:55,811 >> THAT'S GREAT. I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR KIDS 30 00:01:55,811 --> 00:02:03,231 TO LEARN HOW POLITICS WORK. >> YEAH, THE EARLY PRIMARIES ARE 31 00:02:03,231 --> 00:02:05,905 FASCINATING. YOU GET TO SEE THE YOUNG 32 00:02:05,905 --> 00:02:10,511 CANDIDATES RIGHT BEFORE THE CORPORATE ONES SWOOP IN WITH 33 00:02:10,511 --> 00:02:16,699 THEIR CAMPAIGN DOLLARS. >> WOW, MOM. 34 00:02:16,699 --> 00:02:19,974 THAT'S PRETTY CYNICAL. I THINK GEORGE WASHINGTON WAS A 35 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,546 GOOD CANDIDATE. >> HE WAS RICH. 36 00:02:21,546 --> 00:02:23,749 HE DIDN'T WANT IT. THEY FORCED HIM. 37 00:02:23,749 --> 00:02:26,452 >> OKAY, LINCOLN. >> SHOT. 38 00:02:26,452 --> 00:02:28,055 >> HAMILTON. >> YEAH, HE WAS GOOD. 39 00:02:28,055 --> 00:02:31,439 BUT HE WASN'T PRESIDENT. HE'S JUST A CHARACTER IN A 40 00:02:31,439 --> 00:02:38,078 REALLY COOL MUSICAL WE'LL NEVER BE RICH ENOUGH TO AFFORD TO SEE. 41 00:02:38,078 --> 00:02:41,983 OH, AND SHOT. >> YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM BEING 42 00:02:41,983 --> 00:02:44,327 OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THIS COUNTRY. EVERYBODY HAS A RIGHT TO BE 43 00:02:44,327 --> 00:02:46,630 HEARD. DID YOU KNOW ANYONE CAN PICK UP 44 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:49,614 THE PHONE AND CALL THE WHITE HOUSE. 45 00:02:49,614 --> 00:02:52,548 >> NO WAY. IF YOU CAN'T CALL THE ROCK, YOU 46 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,350 CAN'T CALL THE WHITE HOUSE. >> WATCH. 47 00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,553 >> THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE WHITE HOUSE -- 48 00:02:56,553 --> 00:02:59,257 >> ARE YOU CRAZY? THEY'RE GOING TO TRACE THIS BACK 49 00:02:59,257 --> 00:03:03,613 TO US AND PUT US ON THE NO-FLY LIST. 50 00:03:03,613 --> 00:03:07,318 >> WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANY OF US FLEW? 51 00:03:07,318 --> 00:03:12,294 IF THEY EVER PUT US ON THE NO-BUS LIST, THEN WE'LL HAVE A 52 00:03:12,294 --> 00:03:14,667 PROBLEM. >> WHY ARE YOU SCARED OF THE 53 00:03:14,667 --> 00:03:16,470 GOVERNMENT? THEY WORK FOR US. 54 00:03:16,470 --> 00:03:19,204 YOU CAN EVEN TWEET THE PRESIDENT AND TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT. 55 00:03:19,204 --> 00:03:26,033 >> I'M NOT SCARED. HI, DONALD TRUMP, SINCE YOU WORK 56 00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:32,572 FOR US, CAN YOU SEND US SOME CHEESE PACKETS FOR OUR MACARONI. 57 00:03:32,572 --> 00:03:36,807 THIS IS REAL MARY CONNER, FROM LANFORD, ILLINOIS. 58 00:03:36,807 --> 00:03:42,835 >> HE'LL PROBABLY ANSWER BACK. THAT GUY LOVES TO TWEET. 59 00:03:42,835 --> 00:03:44,408 THAT'S HOW WE LEARN WHERE OUR MILITARY IS. 60 00:03:44,408 --> 00:03:49,174 >> HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE. IT'S GOOD TO LIVE ON YOUR OWN, 61 00:03:49,174 --> 00:03:51,417 BUT YOU MISS YOUR MOMMY, DON'T YOU? 62 00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:53,900 >> NO, GROSS. MY LAPTOP DIED. 63 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:58,807 I CAME TO SEE IF IT WAS STILL UNDER WARRANTY. 64 00:03:58,807 --> 00:04:10,403 >> OF COURSE, SHE'LL SECOND IT BACK TO WHERE SHE BOUGHT IT, GUY 65 00:04:10,403 --> 00:04:13,206 ON OFF-RAMP IN OLD ARMY JACKET. >> I NEED A NEW ONE. 66 00:04:13,206 --> 00:04:15,209 >> ARE YOU INSANE, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE FOOD. 67 00:04:15,209 --> 00:04:19,685 >> I'M JUST TAKE MARK'S. >> I'M GOING TO USE IT TO WRITE 68 00:04:19,685 --> 00:04:24,862 MY REPORT ON THE PRIMARY. >> JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK HE'S A 69 00:04:24,862 --> 00:04:31,851 DORK DOESN'T MEAN YOU THINK HE SHOULD HAVE YOUR LAPTOP. 70 00:04:31,851 --> 00:04:34,125 >> YOU'RE FINALLY OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE. 71 00:04:34,125 --> 00:04:37,960 AND WHOEVER WINS THE PRIMARY IS YOUR NOMINEE. 72 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:42,296 >> WHAT HAPPENS IF SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT GETS THE NOMINATION 73 00:04:42,296 --> 00:04:46,421 OVER SOMEBODY ELSE I DON'T CARE ABOUT? 74 00:04:46,421 --> 00:04:54,001 ALL POLITICIANS ARE THE SAME. >> YES, SOME OF THEM ARE 75 00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:56,565 TERRIBLE, BUT IF YOU DO RESEARCH, YOU'LL FIND SOME ARE 76 00:04:56,565 --> 00:04:59,469 REALLY, REALLY TERRIBLE. IF YOU VOTE, YOU'LL BE PROUD TO 77 00:04:59,469 --> 00:05:01,762 ELECT SOMEBODY WHO IS JUST TERRIBLE. 78 00:05:01,762 --> 00:05:08,731 >> SHE'S PROBABLY JUST HUNGRY. SHE'LL FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE 79 00:05:08,731 --> 00:05:14,809 GOVERNMENT ONCE SHE EATS A DRAWER FULL OF CONDIMENTS. 80 00:05:14,809 --> 00:05:15,911 ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 81 00:05:15,911 --> 00:05:18,965 >> YOU ARE WATCHING "THE CONNERS" LIVE RIGHT NOW, IN 82 00:05:18,965 --> 00:05:23,141 FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE. >> HEY, LOUISE. 83 00:05:23,141 --> 00:05:24,903 >> HEY, DARLENE. WHAT'S UP? 84 00:05:24,903 --> 00:05:28,408 >> WE WERE ON OUR WAY TO THE STORE, BUT THAT SEEMED LIKE A 85 00:05:28,408 --> 00:05:30,010 LOT OF WORK. SO WE CAME HERE. 86 00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:32,684 >> BECKY, I WAS GOING TO CALL YOU. 87 00:05:32,684 --> 00:05:37,039 I'M LEAVING ON TOUR WITH MY BAND ON WEDNESDAY. 88 00:05:37,039 --> 00:05:39,212 I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD COVER MY SHIFT FOR A WEEK UNTIL 89 00:05:39,212 --> 00:05:42,347 MY REPLACEMENT STARTS. >> HOW LONG WILL YOU BE GONE? 90 00:05:42,347 --> 00:05:45,080 >> AT LEAST THREE MONTHS. >> WOW. 91 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,654 DAD DIDN'T MENTION YOU WERE GOING ON TOUR. 92 00:05:47,654 --> 00:05:50,257 >> HE DIDN'T? >> NOPE. 93 00:05:50,257 --> 00:05:53,842 >> YEAH. I BET HE WAS UPSET WHEN HE FOUND 94 00:05:53,842 --> 00:05:57,447 OUT YOU WERE LEAVING. DID HE TELL YOU HE DIDN'T WANT 95 00:05:57,447 --> 00:05:59,390 YOU TO GO? >> NO, HE SAID IT WAS A GREAT 96 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:00,651 OPPORTUNITY AND I SHOULD TAKE IT. 97 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:06,699 SO I'M TAKING IT. >> DAD IS AN IDIOT, A WOMAN WITH 98 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:10,715 THAT WAISTLINE IN THIS TOWN, AND NO METH PROBLEM? 99 00:06:10,715 --> 00:06:14,420 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND THAT. >> YEAH, I BET HE ALREADY 100 00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:16,693 REGRETS IT. THAT'S WHY HE'S BEEN IN SUCH A 101 00:06:16,693 --> 00:06:19,867 BAD MOOD. HE'S WORRIED SHE'S GOING TO MEET 102 00:06:19,867 --> 00:06:26,686 SOMEBODY ON THE ROAD. >> WHY WOULD LOUISE CHEAT ON 103 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:31,092 DAD? >> THE LAST TIME I SAW THEM 104 00:06:31,092 --> 00:06:34,897 TOGETHER, THEY WERE ON THE COUCH AND HE FELL ASLEEP AND FELL 105 00:06:34,897 --> 00:06:36,540 OVER. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE DAD IS GOING 106 00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:42,698 TO BLOW THIS. >> HE HASN'T DATED IN 45 YEARS. 107 00:06:42,698 --> 00:06:48,666 IT'S LIKE CHIPPING A NEANDERTHAL OUT OF THE ICE. 108 00:06:48,666 --> 00:06:51,640 YOU CAN'T JUST THROW HIM ON TINDER. 109 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:56,446 >> HE'S NOT GOING TO SAY HE LOVES HER IN TWO DAYS. 110 00:06:56,446 --> 00:07:00,302 HE'S NEVER EVEN SAID IT TO ME. >> TAKE A HINT AND MOVE ON. 111 00:07:00,302 --> 00:07:03,336 >> WE ALL KNOW THAT DAD OPENS UP WHEN HE DRINKS. 112 00:07:03,336 --> 00:07:07,882 WE THROW A FAKE LITTLE GOING AWAY PARTY, GET A FEW SHOTS IN 113 00:07:07,882 --> 00:07:11,747 HIM, AND MAYBE HE OPENS UP AND CEMENTS THE RELATIONSHIP. 114 00:07:11,747 --> 00:07:14,501 >> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. >> NO, IT'S NOT. 115 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,705 >> NO, IT'S NOT. >> LOOK, IT'S ALL I GOT. 116 00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:22,211 DO YOU WANT TO HELP DAD OFF THE POT WHEN HE'S 80? 117 00:07:22,211 --> 00:07:32,175 >> I'M BACK TO LIKING IT. >> LOUISE, COULDN'T HELP 118 00:07:32,175 --> 00:07:33,376 OVERHEARING, I WORK WITH DAN EVERY DAY. 119 00:07:33,376 --> 00:07:37,582 AND NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS, HE'S GOING TO BE MISSING HIS LADY 120 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,555 LIKE CRAZY. >> I'M NOT HIS LADY. 121 00:07:39,555 --> 00:07:43,830 AND JUST BETWEEN US, DAN COULDN'T COMMIT TO A REAL 122 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:49,147 RELATIONSHIP. SO I BROKE UP WITH HIM. 123 00:07:49,147 --> 00:07:54,925 >> LOUISE, I'M SHOOK. BUT I UNDERSTAND WHAT A TOUGH 124 00:07:54,925 --> 00:07:59,431 NUT TO CRACK DAN IS. THIS ONE TIME, WE HAD A FEW 125 00:07:59,431 --> 00:08:02,035 BEERS, THROWING FIRECRACKERS AT ONE ANOTHER. 126 00:08:02,035 --> 00:08:03,987 I MADE THE MISTAKE OF OPENING UP. 127 00:08:03,987 --> 00:08:05,620 BUT IT'S OKAY. I DIDN'T SAY I LOVE YOU FOR HIM. 128 00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:12,128 I SAID IT FOR ME. >> THANKS, DWIGHT. 129 00:08:12,128 --> 00:08:14,131 I'M JUST GLAD I'M GOING ON THIS TOUR. 130 00:08:14,131 --> 00:08:17,836 I REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM RIGHT NOW. 131 00:08:17,836 --> 00:08:21,030 >> SHOULD WE GET THEM IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER AND JUST LET 132 00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:23,934 THE MAGIC HAPPEN? >> I THINK DAD WILL REALLY THANK 133 00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:27,699 US FOR GETTING INVOLVED. >> MAYBE YOUR DAD WILL. 134 00:08:27,699 --> 00:08:31,344 MY DAD IS A VENGEFUL GOD WHO WILL STRIKE US DOWN AND SCATTER 135 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:35,059 OUR BONES TO THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH. 136 00:08:35,059 --> 00:08:37,633 >> IT DOESN'T MEAN WE STILL CAN'T HAVE A NICE EVENING. 137 00:08:45,544 --> 00:08:47,977 >>> WHAT'S THE UPDATE ON NEW HAMPSHIRE? 138 00:08:47,977 --> 00:08:52,683 >> 15% OF THE VOTE IS IN. I HAVE A THEORY THE DNC IS 139 00:08:52,683 --> 00:08:54,486 HOLDING BACK SOME OF THE RESULTS. 140 00:08:54,486 --> 00:08:59,042 THEY DON'T WANT TO AFFECT THE NUMBERS IN IOWA. 141 00:08:59,042 --> 00:09:06,322 >> YOU'RE NOT LETTING THAT GO, HUH? 142 00:09:06,322 --> 00:09:09,526 SERIOUSLY, HOW IS BUTTIGIEG DOING? 143 00:09:09,526 --> 00:09:11,649 >> YOU'RE ONLY ASKING ME BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH GAY. 144 00:09:11,649 --> 00:09:22,393 >> NO, I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE REALLY INTO MAYORS. 145 00:09:22,393 --> 00:09:23,264 OKAY, I'M SORRY I MADE THAT ASSUMPTION. 146 00:09:23,264 --> 00:09:27,630 THAT WAS PRETTY UNEVOLVED. >> YOU'RE WATCHING THE PRIMARY? 147 00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:31,926 HOW IS YOUR BOYFRIEND DOING? >> WOW, BEN. 148 00:09:31,926 --> 00:09:37,293 SOME PEOPLE DON'T GET IT, RIGHT? >> HE'S AN EXCELLENT POLITICIAN, 149 00:09:37,293 --> 00:09:41,068 AND QUALIFIED TO BE PRESIDENT. BUT HE'S NOT NECESSARILY MY 150 00:09:41,068 --> 00:09:43,772 CANDIDATE JUST BECAUSE HE'S GAY. DID ALL BLACK PEOPLE VOTE FOR 151 00:09:43,772 --> 00:09:48,198 OBAMA? >> YEAH, PRETTY MUCH. 152 00:09:48,198 --> 00:09:52,233 ABOUT 96%. >> OKAY. 153 00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:56,369 BEVERLY ROSE IS ASLEEP. CAN I GET MY MONEY NOW? 154 00:09:56,369 --> 00:10:01,145 >> HERE YOU GO. YOU GET THE OTHER HALF IF YOU'RE 155 00:10:01,145 --> 00:10:07,504 HERE WHEN I GET BACK. >> FINE. 156 00:10:07,504 --> 00:10:11,409 >> WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS STRONG PERFORMANCE 157 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,013 BY AMY   158 00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,445 KLOBUCHAR. >> IS THE PRIMARY OVER? 159 00:10:15,445 --> 00:10:17,988 >> NO, BUT SANDERS IS DOING WELL. 160 00:10:17,988 --> 00:10:23,045 SOME EXPERTS THINK IF HE WINS, THERE'S A CHANCE HE MIGHT STOP 161 00:10:23,045 --> 00:10:28,252 YELLING. >> IT DOESN'T MATTER. 162 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:33,489 BLOOMBERG JUST BOUGHT THE STATE AND RENAMED IT NEW BLOOMSHIRE. 163 00:10:33,489 --> 00:10:35,011 >> IS YOUR BOYFRIEND STILL RUNNING? 164 00:10:35,011 --> 00:10:38,075 >> OH, MY GOD. IF YOU DON'T TAKE THIS 165 00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:41,750 SERIOUSLY, YOU GET THE GOVERNMENT YOU DESERVE. 166 00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:50,732 PETE HAS GREAT IDEAS ABOUT HEALTH CARE AND A PUGGLE RESCUE 167 00:10:50,732 --> 00:10:53,586 THAT IS REALLY CUTE. >> BERNIE SANDERS IS LEADING. 168 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:57,221 >> MAN, WARREN COULD USE A BOOST. 169 00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:59,955 >> IT'S NICE TO HAVE A CANDIDATE WHO IS ALSO A SINGLE MOM. 170 00:10:59,955 --> 00:11:04,230 SHE PROVIDED CHILD CARE FOR THE CAUCUSES LAST WEEK. 171 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:07,735 I WAS THIS CLOSE TO FLYING TO IOWA SO I COULD GO TO A MOVIE. 172 00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:12,892 >> WE HAVE TO WATCH THIS STUPID THING, LET ME HAVE THE LAPTOP. 173 00:11:12,892 --> 00:11:22,635 I HAVE TO STUDY FOR MY G.E.D. >> WHAT DOES IT STAND FOR? 174 00:11:22,635 --> 00:11:32,068 >> GENERAL EQUIVALENCY. >> THERE, YOU JUST PASSED. 175 00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:36,744 WHAT THE HELL? YOU ALMOST BROKE MY LAPTOP, YOU 176 00:11:36,744 --> 00:11:39,208 PSYCHO. YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY STUFF. 177 00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:41,731 YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOURSELF. 178 00:11:41,731 --> 00:11:45,867 >> RELAX, IT'S NOT BROKEN. >> YOU DON'T LIVE HERE. 179 00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:49,341 SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE? AND DON'T SAY GOOD-BYE THIS 180 00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:51,614 TIME, EITHER. >> WHAT? 181 00:11:51,614 --> 00:11:54,148 YOU'RE MAD THAT I MOVED OUT? >> YEAH. 182 00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:58,283 YOU JUST WALKED OUT AND LEFT ME HERE WITH THESE CRAZY PEOPLE. 183 00:11:58,283 --> 00:12:02,409 >> WHOA, HEY, HEY. YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE ME FEEL 184 00:12:02,409 --> 00:12:07,346 GUILTY BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE. 185 00:12:07,346 --> 00:12:10,149 IF YOU LOOK AT OUR FAMILY, YOU MAY NOT KNOW IT, BUT PEOPLE ARE 186 00:12:10,149 --> 00:12:13,894 SUPPOSED TO MOVE OUT. >> I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO NOW. 187 00:12:13,894 --> 00:12:23,918 I TOLD GRANDPA WE HAD A BOY CRUSH, AND WE WATCHED SPARTACUS 188 00:12:23,918 --> 00:12:27,663 AND ATE A BUCKET OF FRIED CHICKEN. 189 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,766 >> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? >> I DO HAVE A PROBLEM, BUT IT'S 190 00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:33,451 A WASTE OF TIME TALKING TO YOU. SCREW YOU! 191 00:12:33,451 --> 00:12:36,224 WE ONLY HAVE ONE TV IN THE HOUSE. 192 00:12:36,224 --> 00:12:51,455 YOU HAVE TO LEAVE. >> OH, HEY. 193 00:12:51,455 --> 00:12:56,702 THANKS FOR OFFERING TO CLOSE UP, IT'S PRETTY DEAD IN HERE. 194 00:12:56,702 --> 00:13:01,008 I'M GOING TO GO HOME AND PACK. >> WHERE THE HELL ARE D.J. AND 195 00:13:01,008 --> 00:13:04,973 DAD? LOUISE IS GOING TO LEAVE. 196 00:13:04,973 --> 00:13:08,969 >> I'LL STALL HER. WAIT! 197 00:13:08,969 --> 00:13:14,276 WE'RE NOT GOING TO SEE YOU FOR A WHILE, AND I JUST WANT TO LET 198 00:13:14,276 --> 00:13:17,811 YOU KNOW WHAT AN INSPIRATION YOU ARE, ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE 199 00:13:17,811 --> 00:13:24,600 TAUGHT ME. LIKE PUTTING RICE IN THE SALT 200 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:25,271 SHAKERS. THANKS. 201 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,504 >> SURPRISE! >> IT'S YOUR GOING AWAY PARTY. 202 00:13:27,504 --> 00:13:29,977 >> YOU TOLD ME SHE ALREADY LEFT. >> YES, I DID. 203 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,951 >> THIS IS SWEET, BUT I HAVE TO GET HOME. 204 00:13:32,951 --> 00:13:36,185 >> WAIT, NOT UNTIL WE GET A GOOD PICTURE OF YOU. 205 00:13:36,185 --> 00:13:41,713 >> THAT WAY YOU'LL HAVE A PICTURE YOU OF DAN YOU CAN TAKE 206 00:13:41,713 --> 00:13:46,479 WITH YOU ON THE ROAD. >> I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THIS. 207 00:13:46,479 --> 00:13:49,123 >> HOLD ON A SECOND. I CAN'T GET IT OFF SELFIE. 208 00:13:49,123 --> 00:13:53,058 >> WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL YOUR FAMILY THAT WE BROKE UP? 209 00:13:53,058 --> 00:13:56,583 >> BECAUSE IF I TALK TO MY FAMILY, THAT ENCOURAGES THEM TO 210 00:13:56,583 --> 00:14:00,819 TALK BACK TO ME. >> NOW IT'S AN LANDSCAPE. 211 00:14:00,819 --> 00:14:04,153 HOLD ON. >> ALL RIGHT, LOOK. 212 00:14:04,153 --> 00:14:06,927 LET'S NOT EMBARRASS ANYBODY, GET THIS OVER QUICK, AND YOU CAN 213 00:14:06,927 --> 00:14:11,162 TELL THEM WHEN I LEAVE. >> OKAY, I GOT IT. 214 00:14:11,162 --> 00:14:13,716 >> ALL RIGHT, THIS WAS GREAT. BUT I HAVE TO GET HOME. 215 00:14:13,716 --> 00:14:16,119 I'M LEAVING SO EARLY IN THE MORNING. 216 00:14:16,119 --> 00:14:21,426 >> WHY GO TO BED AT ALL? LET'S DO SOME SHOTS. 217 00:14:21,426 --> 00:14:23,970 TO LOUISE, WE'RE GOING TO MISS YOU. 218 00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:30,859 >> TO LOUISE! >> TO DAN, WHO IS GOING TO MISS 219 00:14:30,859 --> 00:14:31,790 LOUISE. >> TO DAN! 220 00:14:31,790 --> 00:14:34,834 >> TO LOUISE AND DAN, WHO WILL MISS EACH OTHER. 221 00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:37,668 >> TO LOUISE AND DAN! >> DARLENE, STOP. 222 00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,372 >> OKAY, DAD, THEN YOU MAKE A TOAST. 223 00:14:40,372 --> 00:14:43,606 TO LOUISE. >> I SAID STOP. 224 00:14:43,606 --> 00:14:49,134 I NKNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, AND DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. 225 00:14:49,134 --> 00:14:50,305 LOUISE, WAIT. LET ME DRIVE YOU HOME. 226 00:14:50,305 --> 00:14:54,411 >> NO, I NEED THIS TO END. AND I REALLY NEED YOU TO LEAVE 227 00:14:54,411 --> 00:15:03,673 ME ALONE. SORRY, GUYS. 228 00:15:07,188 --> 00:15:11,193 >>> YOU KNOW, HERE IN THE CONNER FAMILY, WE'RE NOT SHY ABOUT 229 00:15:11,193 --> 00:15:16,090 TELLING IT HOW WE FEEL. >> WE'RE TELLING YOU, DEMOCRACY 230 00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:24,161 ONLY WORKS IF YOU GET UP AND VOTE. 231 00:15:24,161 --> 00:15:31,461 >> WE'RE TEAMING UP WITH I AM A VOTER TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE 232 00:15:31,461 --> 00:15:39,502 REGISTER TO VOTE. VISIT IAMAVOTER.COM. 233 00:15:39,502 --> 00:15:45,710 >>> THE DAY AFTER THE CONTEST IS OVER IS A TOUGH DAY IF YOU 234 00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:47,582 DIDN'T GET ANY DELEGATES IN THE PREVIOUS STATE. 235 00:15:47,582 --> 00:15:48,964 IF ELIZABETH WARREN OR JOE BIDEN -- 236 00:15:48,964 --> 00:15:52,399 >> HEY. I CHECKED THE PRIMARY ON MY 237 00:15:52,399 --> 00:15:56,174 PHONE. THE OLDER CANDIDATES ARE SAYING 238 00:15:56,174 --> 00:16:00,049 THEY HAVE A BIGGER ADVANTAGE OVER THE YOUNGER CANDIDATES 239 00:16:00,049 --> 00:16:01,311 BECAUSE THEY HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE. 240 00:16:01,311 --> 00:16:06,538 BUT I SAY A RAP BATTLE AT A CLUB WILL MAKE IT WAY MORE FAIR. 241 00:16:06,538 --> 00:16:11,114 >> AUNT JACKIE IS HERE, YOU CAN LEAVE. 242 00:16:11,114 --> 00:16:20,086 >> I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. YOU CAN TELL ME ABOUT YOUR 243 00:16:20,086 --> 00:16:20,827 PRO PROBLEM. 244 00:16:20,827 --> 00:16:24,342 COME ON, SPILL THE TEA. >> REMEMBER AUSTIN? 245 00:16:24,342 --> 00:16:26,114 WELL, WE KIND OF GOT TOGETHER AGAIN. 246 00:16:26,114 --> 00:16:30,250 BUT HE IGNORES ME AT SCHOOL BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT ANYONE 247 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:34,426 TO KNOW HE'S GAY. HE EVEN MAKES FUN OF ME 248 00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:37,259 SOMETIMES, AND IT MAKES ME FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT MYSELF. 249 00:16:37,259 --> 00:16:42,386 BUT I LIKE HIM. >> DUMP HIS ASS. 250 00:16:42,386 --> 00:16:46,722 >> BUT IT'S NOT ALL HIS FAULT. HIS FAMILY JUST DOESN'T ACCEPT 251 00:16:46,722 --> 00:16:50,167 HIM FOR WHO HE IS. >> THAT DOESN'T GIVE HIM THE 252 00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:53,371 RIGHT TO TREAT YOU LIKE CRAP, MARK. 253 00:16:53,371 --> 00:16:54,503 BOY, BYE. >> BUT -- 254 00:16:54,503 --> 00:16:57,987 >> NO. YOU WANTED ME BACK IN YOUR LIFE, 255 00:16:57,987 --> 00:17:03,395 YOU GOT ME. FROM NOW ON, YOU'RE RUNNING ALL 256 00:17:03,395 --> 00:17:06,639 OF YOUR BOYFRIENDS BY ME. >> AND IF YOU EVER GET A 257 00:17:06,639 --> 00:17:09,643 BOYFRIEND, YOU CAN RUN HIM BY ME. 258 00:17:09,643 --> 00:17:11,526 >> I'M A STRONG, INDEPENDENT WOMAN. 259 00:17:11,526 --> 00:17:13,859 THEREFORE, I'M ALONE. >> WHO'S AHEAD? 260 00:17:13,859 --> 00:17:18,135 >> I DON'T KNOW. THE BACHELOR PROMOS AT THE 261 00:17:18,135 --> 00:17:21,639 BOTTOM KEEP COVERING IT UP. >> OH, THEY MOVED THE ROSE. 262 00:17:21,639 --> 00:17:26,746 BERNIE HAS 28%. KLOBUCHAR IS UP TO 21%. 263 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:34,406 AND YANG DROPPED OUT. >> HOW DID THE PARTY GO? 264 00:17:34,406 --> 00:17:37,310 >> IT WIAS A GOING AWAY PARTY, AND SHE CERTAINLY WENT AWAY. 265 00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:42,648 >> NICE JOB, YOU THREW A PARTY FOR TWO PEOPLE WHO BROKE UP LAST 266 00:17:42,648 --> 00:17:44,190 WEEK. >> WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US? 267 00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:46,343 >> BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS? 268 00:17:46,343 --> 00:17:49,507 >> GOT IT. WHAT HAPPENED? 269 00:17:49,507 --> 00:17:54,684 >> YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO STOP, ARE YOU? 270 00:17:54,684 --> 00:17:57,888 LOUISE BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE I WASN'T READY TO COMMIT. 271 00:17:57,888 --> 00:18:02,474 AND NOW YOU'VE MADE IT WORSE. >> DON'T BLAME US. 272 00:18:02,474 --> 00:18:04,347 YOU HAVE BEEN DRAGGING YOUR FEET WITH HER FOREVER. 273 00:18:04,347 --> 00:18:06,450 WE WERE GIVING YOU A CHANCE TO MAKE IT RIGHT. 274 00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:09,954 >> I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT RIGHT WHEN I WAS READY. 275 00:18:09,954 --> 00:18:13,790 I'VE BEEN HAVING A HELL OF A TIME GETTING OVER YOUR MOM. 276 00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:17,234 SO I WENT TO CHURCH. >> YOU WENT TO CHURCH? 277 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:22,351 >> YES, I WENT TO CHURCH. THEY WERE HAVING A RUMMAGE SALE 278 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:26,026 AND I DRIFTED IN. I WAS LOOKING FOR A NEW RADIO 279 00:18:26,026 --> 00:18:29,331 FOR THE TRUCK, AND I FIGURED NOBODY IS GOING TO SCREW YOU IN 280 00:18:29,331 --> 00:18:31,734 THE CHURCH. THE FATHER WAS THERE, AND I TOLD 281 00:18:31,734 --> 00:18:39,324 HIM WHAT WAS BOTHERING ME. >> WHAT DID HE SAY? 282 00:18:39,324 --> 00:18:42,298 >> DON'T LAUGH. HE TOLD ME TO WRITE A LETTER TO 283 00:18:42,298 --> 00:18:46,934 YOUR MOM ABOUT HOW GUILTY I WAS FEELING ABOUT LOUISE, AND THEN 284 00:18:46,934 --> 00:18:49,908 SET IT ON FIRE, SO I COULD LET IT GO AND MOVE ON. 285 00:18:49,908 --> 00:18:52,091 >> DID YOU DO IT? >> NO. 286 00:18:52,091 --> 00:18:56,337 I WAS GOING TO DO IT IN TWO WEEKS ON YOUR MOM'S BIRTHDAY, 287 00:18:56,337 --> 00:18:59,601 AND TALK TO LOUISE. BUT NOW IT'S POINTLESS. 288 00:18:59,601 --> 00:19:02,475 SHE NEVER WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN. >> OH, COME ON, DAD. 289 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,409 YOU'RE JUST GOING TO GIVE UP AND BE ONE OF THOSE WEIRD OLD DUDES 290 00:19:05,409 --> 00:19:10,035 THAT GOES TO THE DMV TO BE AROUND PEOPLE? 291 00:19:10,035 --> 00:19:13,069 JUST LET US HELP YOU. WE CAN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. 292 00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:16,074 >> NO, WE AREN'T FIGURING ANYTHING OUT. 293 00:19:16,074 --> 00:19:18,977 I WILL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT IN MY WAY. 294 00:19:18,977 --> 00:19:21,851 IN MY TIME. >> FINE. 295 00:19:21,851 --> 00:19:27,639 IT'S ALL YOU. WHEN YOU SAY IN MY TIME, ARE YOU 296 00:19:27,639 --> 00:19:29,812 TALKING MONTHS, YEARS? >> JUST GIVE US A BALLPARK. 297 00:19:29,812 --> 00:19:33,016 >> GO TO YOUR ROOMS. >> WE'RE NOT CHILDREN. 298 00:19:33,016 --> 00:19:35,269 >> YOU WANT TO PAY RENT? >> GO, BECKY, GO! 299 00:19:38,824 --> 00:19:45,453 >>> BERNIE SANDERS' TEAM WILL POINT OUT IF THAT WERE THE 300 00:19:45,453 --> 00:19:47,155 CASE -- >> HELLO? 301 00:19:47,155 --> 00:19:55,326 >> HI, THIS IS HILLARY CLINTON AND I'M CALLING ON BEHALF OF THE 302 00:19:55,326 --> 00:20:01,425 DEMOCRATIC PARTY. >> STUPID ROBO CALL. 303 00:20:01,425 --> 00:20:07,663 >> PEOPLE HAVE ACCUSED ME OF BEING A ROBOT, BUT THIS IS 304 00:20:07,663 --> 00:20:10,998 REALLY HILLARY CLINTON. >> LET ME GET WHERE THERE IS 305 00:20:10,998 --> 00:20:11,899 BETTER RECEPTION. OKAY. 306 00:20:11,899 --> 00:20:15,424 THIS IS BETTER. >> YEAH, I SEE THAT YOU JUST 307 00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:19,459 TURNED 18, HARRIS. AND THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT 308 00:20:19,459 --> 00:20:22,834 ELECTION. YOU KNOW, AS I GAZE UPON THE 309 00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:26,869 LINCOLN MEMORIAL, HERE IN OUR NATION'S CAPITAL, I THINK ABOUT 310 00:20:26,869 --> 00:20:32,927 THE ROLE OF WOMEN IN THIS ELECTION, AND HOW WE'RE STRONGER 311 00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,170 TOGETHER. >> HEY, WHILE YOU'RE IN THE 312 00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:41,008 NATION'S CAPITAL, WOULD YOU MIND CLEANING THE LINT TRAP? 313 00:20:41,008 --> 00:20:44,042 >> AH! HARRIS, JUST VOTE. 314 00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:45,714 >> WHY? >> BECAUSE SOME OF THESE PEOPLE 315 00:20:45,714 --> 00:20:52,504 ARE TRYING TO HELP YOU. WARREN AND SANDERS WANT TO PAY 316 00:20:52,504 --> 00:21:03,288 YOUR COLLEGE TUITION. YANG WANTS TO GIVE YOU $1,000 A 317 00:21:03,288 --> 00:21:09,376 MONTH. >> OKAY, I'LL VOTE. 318 00:21:09,376 --> 00:21:23,986 >> THIS COUNTRY IS DOOMED. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 26019

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