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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,200 My name is Maddalena, I'm 30 years old, 2 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,320 and I do not like anything about myself. 3 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:52,400 Starting with my body. It's a far cry from the ones seen in commercials, 4 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:56,000 which is why I don't like it and I'm sure men don't either. 5 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,320 I'm single, but I share my apartment with Stefano, 6 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,760 a roommate I would describe as shitty? 7 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,200 He's lazy. He lives his life like a videogame, 8 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,600 in which I always lose. 9 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,000 My mother, Grazia, is the parish's queen. 10 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,560 A widow with two daughters, me and my sister Maria 11 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,600 who is skinny, married, has one child and another on the way. 12 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,240 Madda, please don't. Carbs will make you fat. 13 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,920 - You need to eat for two. - Thanks, Mom. 14 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,200 Can you guess who her favorite is? 15 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,600 I work for a publishing house as a temp. 16 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,640 My contract is as uncertain as my mental health 17 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,360 because I work a lot and make very little, and get treated... 18 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:39,960 - Thanks. - Like a doormat. 19 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:42,840 Except by him. 20 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,640 I'm a ghostwriter. 21 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:50,160 Basically I write books for people who can't do it themselves... 22 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,400 Drink herbal tea, bitches! 23 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,520 And sometimes don't even read them. 24 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,160 Buy the book to get a photo with Samantha. 25 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,680 This rectangular object made of paper that you can flip through 26 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,840 and buy is called a book. 27 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,240 We've given you our best writer. 28 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,680 It feels like you stepped inside my head. 29 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,880 I thought it was empty, but no, she was in there! 30 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,840 Of course, I always fall for the wrong guy. 31 00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:17,600 You're sharp, clever, deep. 32 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:19,920 Let's fuck. 33 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,960 Or maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the problem. 34 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:29,240 STILL FABULOUS 35 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:45,880 It's you. 36 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,400 Who else would it be? 37 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,920 What's all this for? 38 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,880 It's fat-reducing. Helps take the weight off. 39 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,600 Does the reason for this torture have a name? 40 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,960 Not that asshole Donato? 41 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,400 He's not an asshole. 42 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,400 You're about to freeze-dry your self-esteem again. 43 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,280 I hate having to pick up the crumbs of your self-respect. 44 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,560 You can't even brush your own teeth. 45 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,520 This is an eco-friendly toothbrush. 46 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,800 Anyways, Donato and his wife are separating. 47 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,680 He's taking me out this weekend for the first time. 48 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,360 Just the two of us. 49 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,560 Maddalena? 50 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,160 You know, I'm really... 51 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,000 turned on. 52 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,360 Why don't you undress for me? 53 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,200 - Okay. - Room, turn up the music. 54 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:40,880 Feeling shy? 55 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,520 Even in a baggy tee, you're beautiful. Come here. 56 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,040 You first. 57 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,280 Use your mouth. 58 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:07,760 What happened? 59 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,520 Room, turn off the lights. 60 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,040 Room, turn on the lights. 61 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,680 - Why? - I like dim lighting. 62 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,160 I don't. 63 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,600 I like to see what I'm doing. 64 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,880 - Okay, no... - What is it? 65 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,520 It can't be like this, Maddalena. 66 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:34,480 Do you want me to tie you up? Do you want to start off with a sex toy? 67 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:35,680 Should I spank you? 68 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,320 We could watch porn. 69 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,120 Too much? 70 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:41,600 Well, 71 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,080 I give up. 72 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,120 I've never been with a woman like you. 73 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,760 What... 74 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,200 What do you mean by that? 75 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:55,760 A smart woman, a good girl who doesn't care about sex. 76 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:56,920 That's all. 77 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:03,880 What is it? 78 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,400 If you don't mind, I'm going to go to sleep. 79 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,200 See you at breakfast. 80 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,080 Room, turn off the lights. 81 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,640 Fuck! 82 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:33,240 Ste! 83 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:37,000 - Use a pot to heat up food! - I'd have to wash them after. 84 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,440 - I fucked up with Donato. - No shit. 85 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,720 Don't make that face. I'm not good at comforting people. 86 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,680 - Plus, I'm busy talking to a hot guy. - Come on! 87 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,760 It was a disaster. He said I'm not sexy. 88 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,760 He even asked me to watch porn! 89 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,040 Why not? I do it all the time. 90 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,400 Am I the only one who's never watched porn? 91 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,240 This cake is delicious. 92 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,200 Where are you going? 93 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,040 That's my space cake. There's weed in it. 94 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,160 Be careful. It's too much for you. 95 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,840 Wow. This Legolas guy is hot. 96 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,360 HOW TO BE AMAZING IN BED 97 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,400 HOT? - MAKE HIM MELT GUIDE YOUR MAN TO PLEASURE 98 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,720 HOW TO PLEASE PARTNER VEGAN POPSICLE BLOWJOB 99 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,600 HAVE SEX LIKE A PORNSTAR 100 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,680 PLEASE HIM!!! VALENTINA NAPPI'S SECRETS - ENTER 101 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,080 You okay? 102 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,800 Need a hand or will yours do? 103 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,440 Easy Edizioni, good morning. 104 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,320 He's not available. Do you want to leave a message? 105 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,320 Hi, Erika. 106 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,160 Samantha's book did so well, I had an idea for another. 107 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,880 The weekly sales report? 108 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,520 - I sent it out at 8:00 this morning. - I want it before everyone else. 109 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,840 - Printed out, on my desk at 7:00 a.m. - All right. 110 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,960 Good. If you want to be like me, you have to give it your all. 111 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,200 Actually, I want to be a writer. 112 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,840 I had this idea for a self-help book. 113 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,520 The ultimate manual that will make all others obsolete. 114 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,960 - Ironically, of course. - We love your sense of humor. 115 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,760 Can we talk about this after I pee? 116 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,640 Marilena, please make coffee for everyone. 117 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,560 - Thanks. - It's Maddalena. 118 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,280 My name is Maddalena. 119 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,120 Maddalena. 120 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:25,000 - They're coming. Donato. - Go. 121 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,280 - We're ready. - Let's do it. 122 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,480 - Sit there. - Okay. 123 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,800 Good morning. 124 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,440 Everybody, please welcome Lara. 125 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,840 Influencer, content creator. 126 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,560 Tommaso is our press guy. 127 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,200 Donato, our Editorial Director. 128 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,880 This is Serena, my manager. 129 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,600 Hello... Stop. 130 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,480 - What are you doing? - It... 131 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,960 Sorry, it's for our social media page. 132 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,840 She has a built-in face filter. 133 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,040 Lara has a flight to Paris to catch, so... 134 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,880 I'm the spokesperson for a product line that doesn't test on animals. 135 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,040 Not that I've ever seen a cow wearing face cream! 136 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,440 We'll be quick. We really believe in this project. 137 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,600 In all modesty, success is our creed. 138 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,120 Your book... 139 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,640 what do you want it to be about? 140 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,000 Me! 141 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:33,200 Me and all the obstacles I've overcome, 142 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,760 such as brittle fingernails, 143 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,400 oily scalp, split ends... 144 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,360 - My whole story. - Well... 145 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,840 That's an excellent starting point to delve deeper. 146 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,200 Delve deeper? 147 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,280 - You want me to talk about cellulite? - No. 148 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:52,280 In any case, we can provide you with our best ghostwriter... 149 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,840 And author. 150 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,520 Your book, Lara, will be a bestseller. 151 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:02,480 We at Easy Edizioni aim to fill the shelves at gas stations, 152 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,840 - supermarkets... - Newsstands. 153 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,800 - Everywhere! - Great. 154 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:11,840 Unlike award-winning writers, who are losers unable to make big sales, 155 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,640 we go for big numbers. 156 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,880 - We'll have it published by Christmas. - Christmas? Perfect! 157 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,360 I know. Let's make the cover red. 158 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,560 Genius. It'll make the perfect gift. 159 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,880 Red at Christmas, what a novel idea. 160 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,320 - You're a visionary, Lara. - I know! 161 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,080 We'd like for her... 162 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,560 to spend part of the day with you, 163 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:40,880 so that she'll be able to tell your readers the truth. 164 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,280 Look, nobody likes the truth. 165 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,080 Haven't you noticed that when something is beautiful, 166 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,600 everyone says it looks fake? 167 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:53,440 It's just a way for the two of you to get to know each other, right... 168 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,120 Maddalena. 169 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,200 Don't worry, she's our best writer. 170 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,360 I'm sure your voice will come through. 171 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,800 Yes. Absolutely. 172 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,200 You drugged me with that cake! 173 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,400 You're the one who took off with it. 174 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,680 Anyway, Grandma Carla's recipe is very mild. 175 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,400 - Do you have any tights? - On me? 176 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,320 - No, at home. - Why do you need them? 177 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,040 - A kink of mine. You got any? - In my drawer. 178 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:32,480 Listen, Ste, I want to give Donato another chance. 179 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:33,960 He believes in me. 180 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:35,840 And he's super-hot. 181 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,400 He loves books! I mean, he's a catch, isn't he? 182 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,080 - What should I do? - What you see in porn. 183 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,800 I can't slip into the shower with him. We're at the office. 184 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,480 I'll throw him in an armchair and I'll ride him. 185 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,320 No, I'm wearing pants. 186 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,560 I'll get on my knees under his desk. 187 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,880 Nice. Bat your eyes at him like Sailor Moon. 188 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,280 Sailor Moon? 189 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,440 Like a horny anime girl. 190 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,000 What if he doesn't understand? 191 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,080 Then he's a moron. 192 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,520 Send him a nude pic. 193 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,400 Actually, since you're at the office, photocopy your boobs. 194 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,720 That's so '90s. 195 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,360 It's coming back. 196 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,720 - It's better than a toilet selfie. - Okay. 197 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,600 Okay, stay on the line. I'll try. 198 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,640 What are you doing? 199 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,040 Running a check. It needs one every now and then. 200 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,400 Of course. 201 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,080 How's it going? 202 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,880 Fine. 203 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,040 Okay. Bye. 204 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,400 Is it in color, at least? 205 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,600 Well... 206 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,560 It's an interesting editorial project. 207 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,680 Is it too much? 208 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,760 I'll take care of it. 209 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,080 All right... 210 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:15,560 Sailor Moon. 211 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,360 - Sailor Moon. - What are you doing? 212 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,400 Okay! 213 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,440 Are you giving a blowjob or a prostrate check? 214 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:32,560 Are you okay? 215 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,840 Yes! All good. 216 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,120 - Working under a desk takes some practice. - What's happening to me? 217 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,000 Maddalena. 218 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,160 - Are you real? - I'm not, but those are. 219 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,760 Are you hitting on me? 220 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,280 Maddalena, what's going on? 221 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:49,360 Nothing. I lost my hair tie. 222 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,720 - I'm fine. - Your hair tie? 223 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,960 - What do you want? - You summoned me. 224 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,960 - Why did you come here? - I can come anywhere. 225 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,040 - Leave! - Maddalena. 226 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,760 Did you change your mind? 227 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,320 It wasn't a bad idea. 228 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,520 No! I mean, yes. Sorry, actually, I... 229 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,680 Actually, sorry. I have so many things to do. 230 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,840 So I have to go do the things I have to to do. 231 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,000 God. Not you again. 232 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,360 When will the effects of the cake wear off? 233 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,880 We need to talk. 234 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,440 - Sorry, did I get you wet? - You're not the first. 235 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:31,320 - Why is this happening to me? - You watched too much porn. 236 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,760 Billie Eilish is right. "Porn destroys your brain." 237 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,840 No, that's religion. 238 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,120 You're not real. You don't exist. 239 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,480 You're just in my head, you're just in my... 240 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,520 I'm in a lot of people's heads. 241 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,680 Please go away, please. 242 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,400 Go away, please go away. 243 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,360 - Come. - Now? 244 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,440 Come with me. 245 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,800 Sure. 246 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,320 - Where are we going? - Inside your self-esteem. 247 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,480 But that's a toilet. 248 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,000 It's just the entrance. 249 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:23,600 Voilà! 250 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,280 - This is my self-esteem? - Exactly. 251 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,400 - It's an empty room. - Exactly. 252 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,400 Funny. I thought I'd find my mother comparing me to my sister. 253 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,160 Shit, my sister! 254 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:47,040 A white cat with blue eyes 255 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:50,280 An old vase on the TV 256 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,400 The smoke of the candles in the air 257 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,840 Two cheeks, red as apples 258 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,800 She has a potion against jealousy... 259 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,560 Sweets, sweets. 260 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,640 Pineapple helps lose weight. 261 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,160 Isn't your sister talented? 262 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,800 She's always had a beautiful voice. 263 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:19,520 - She was even chosen for... - The Zecchino d'Oro. I know, Mom. 264 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,520 Then your father died. 265 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,160 And I couldn't take her to the finals. 266 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,360 She would have won for sure. 267 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,920 Well done. Let's eat! 268 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,880 - Let's go! - Fill up those bellies! 269 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:37,680 Have you seen Marcello's new girlfriend? She's plain, so plain... 270 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,640 "Girlfriend." Marcello never gets serious. 271 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,040 He always looks so handsome though, right? 272 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:45,600 Which one is he? 273 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,640 - They all look the same. - He's over there. 274 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,720 Mom! 275 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,000 He hasn't changed at all. 276 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,640 You made a wonderful couple. 277 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,080 You and Marcello, Maria and Giuseppe. 278 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,960 Two sisters and two brothers united in the love of Jesus. 279 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:05,320 If you lost some weight and took better care of yourself, he'd come back to you. 280 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,040 I don't want him back. He broke up with me on Christmas Eve. 281 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,720 After taking his present. 282 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,320 Shall I bless the prosecco? 283 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,400 Father Massimo! 284 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,480 I think your mother wants to bang the vicar. 285 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,840 Not now, Valentina. Go away! 286 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:31,520 Sister-in-law! A drink? 287 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,400 Actually, Maria wanted to make a toast. 288 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,040 Excuse me! 289 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,240 Now that we're all here. Guys... 290 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,240 I know I shouldn't do this with cranberry juice, 291 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:48,920 but I would really like to raise a heartfelt toast 292 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:54,480 to Marcello and Ludovica Vittoria, who've just announced their engagement! 293 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,320 Congratulations! 294 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:58,680 And to your sister. 295 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,680 And a toast to my big sister, Madda. 296 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:07,360 I hope that one day you'll finally find a good man 297 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:11,120 who will make you as happy as Giuseppe makes me every day. 298 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,000 - Thanks. - You deserve it. 299 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,480 We'll pray for you. Won't we, Father Massimo? 300 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,080 - Day and night. - To Madda! 301 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,800 - Thank you. - To Madda! 302 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,160 Now for the long-awaited moment. 303 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,640 - Let me. - The gender reveal! Cut the cake. 304 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,080 - I'm cutting... - Cut away! 305 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,560 - Oh, my God! - What will it be? 306 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,080 Here we go! 307 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,440 - A boy! - It's a boy! 308 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,760 - A boy! - A boy! 309 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,720 Good thing it's a boy. I bought a blue onesie. 310 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,760 You could tell from her pointed belly. 311 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,360 I got her a thermos to store the placenta in. 312 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,680 Cool. I made this with my first placenta. 313 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,400 - I'd like to try cooking it this time. - Do you have a good recipe? 314 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,200 - I'll send it to you. - Thanks! 315 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,720 I enjoy placenta with cheese and pork. 316 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:06,680 Listen, do you need some air? 317 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,000 - A lot of it? - Yes. 318 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:10,880 Come with me. 319 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,880 Sorry. Thanks. 320 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,240 - Can I light this? - Yes, of course. 321 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,400 - You smoke? - No, I don't. 322 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,600 I did eat a space cake once. 323 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:31,640 - Really? - Yes. 324 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,080 I'm the black sheep of the family. 325 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,160 Come on. 326 00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:43,800 - Come on. - Okay. 327 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,720 You have nothing in common with them. 328 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,000 What do you have to do with them? 329 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,960 You'll never believe this, but I was officially invited. 330 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,520 You? 331 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,400 You're breaking my heart! 332 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:09,200 I've been friends with your brother-in-law for a long time. 333 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,720 My dad and his went to university together. 334 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,800 Now they're colleagues at the hospital. 335 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,600 But while his dad is proud of him, 336 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,000 mine has reconsidered his views on abortion. 337 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,680 So that's why Giuseppe never told me about you. 338 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,040 He's introduced me to all his single friends. 339 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:33,800 Who says I'm single? 340 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:38,200 You're right. I'm sorry, I didn't think... 341 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,200 Sorry. You're right. 342 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,680 I... I don't know why... 343 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,200 I've been single for ages. 344 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:50,360 But Giuseppe would never introduce his wife's sister to someone like me. 345 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,680 - What do you mean? - A black sheep. 346 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,520 You're one too? 347 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,880 Clearly, they don't know the type I usually fall for. 348 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,280 Good thing my second nephew is another boy. 349 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,760 If it was a girl, I would've felt sorry for her. 350 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,280 Destined to diet her whole life, 351 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,560 to look into a mirror and hate herself. 352 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:21,360 Destined to try on 300 outfits to go on a date with some internet asshole 353 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,720 who thinks he's hot shit because his mom always told him he was special. 354 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,600 You should drop by the club. 355 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,640 It's called L'Altrove. 356 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,800 They're hosting a cool event there on Thursday night. 357 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,320 Okay. Sure. Why not? 358 00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:46,720 I have to go. 359 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,000 Thanks for that. 360 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,280 Whenever you feel like messing around, I'm here. 361 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:54,440 Okay. 362 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,440 By the way, I'm Leonardo. 363 00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,520 Maddalena. 364 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,400 I haven't forgotten. 365 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:04,800 Be careful. 366 00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:15,560 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 367 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,280 "What do you want?" 368 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,960 You! What do you want? 369 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,240 What do I want? 370 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,080 I want to be sexy! 371 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,280 You finally said it. 372 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,760 What makes you think you're not sexy? 373 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,320 Look at me! 374 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,360 I'd have sex with you. 375 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,440 But I'm not sexy enough for Donato. 376 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,000 Who cares about Donato. Come with me. 377 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:54,840 Where are we now? 378 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,200 In the world of porn. 379 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,560 Here, women are sorted into categories. 380 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,640 Categories? Who came up with them? 381 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,920 Men. They can't even jerk off without being given directions. 382 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,440 Lesson number one. All women are sexy. 383 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,200 Honestly, I'd fuck the ones without children too. 384 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,480 Poor things. Are they okay? 385 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,680 It's a fashion style. They're fit as a fiddle. 386 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,480 Easy to come across at any Calcutta concert. 387 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,240 I didn't know indie was sexy. 388 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,360 It is. And no shaving required. 389 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:29,320 Girls. 390 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,720 Lesson number two. To each their own. 391 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,000 For vintage lovers. 392 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,080 Natural girls. 393 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,120 For people who got stuck in the Cristina d'Avena loop. 394 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,160 All these are considered sexy? 395 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,400 Lesson number three. 396 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,640 Women are sexy when they feel sexy. 397 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,720 It's up to you, not the observer. 398 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,440 In fact, lesson number four. 399 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,560 The shape of your body has nothing to do with it. 400 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,360 These are big beautiful women. 401 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,920 Beauties from size 48 and upwards. 402 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,640 They're stunning! 403 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,040 That dress! 404 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:24,800 Ste. 405 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,600 What's going on? 406 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:31,760 It's an eco-friendly drying rack. I got it from the dumpster. 407 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,480 I have nothing to wear. Want to come shopping with me? 408 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:40,200 I can't. It's Thursday. You know I have dinner with my friends on Thursdays. 409 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:41,720 It's 11:00 a.m. 410 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:46,200 Don't ask me to be the best friend who takes you to the mall, 411 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,080 I'm not that kind of guy. 412 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,600 I have my dignity. 413 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:51,600 Yeah. 414 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,040 We wouldn't actually be going to the mall. 415 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:55,160 No? 416 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:57,880 No. 417 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,040 Excellent! 418 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,080 Could you warn me before you show up? You keep making me jump! 419 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,760 This would get you tons of views on social media. 420 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,920 - Want to try? - I'll take your word for it. 421 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:28,640 Nice, isn't it? 422 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,520 If you like it, my work here is done. 423 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,680 No, please, stay with me. 424 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:36,800 All right. 425 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,800 Let's make a deal. I'll teach you to be sexy, if you learn to love yourself. 426 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,160 I didn't know you were such a romantic. 427 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,160 Yes. I love having anal sex under the stars. 428 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,680 - Do I really look all right? - You look fantastic. 429 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:58,000 Buy it, put it on, go out and have fun! 430 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,320 Are you hitting on me again? 431 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,000 - Is everything okay? - Yes! Here I am. 432 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,040 You know what, it's not bad. 433 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,920 What are you wearing it to? 434 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,360 Well... 435 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,960 - I thought I might go... - Are you getting shy? 436 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:22,760 I'm coming with you. 437 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:24,240 With me? 438 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,360 Yes. With you and your friends. 439 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,080 Let's have a crazy night out. We'll have fun. You never take me out. 440 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,480 - A night out with gays doesn't count. - Shut up! 441 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,200 - What? - No. 442 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,000 It's just if I can't tag along... I'll just shut up. 443 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,800 Of course you can, if you want to. 444 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,320 Thanks. 445 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,960 You're a coward. 446 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,640 Don't talk when people are around or I'll go to therapy and make you vanish. 447 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,960 You don't need therapy for that, nine inches would be enough. 448 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,920 Help me out, I need to feed. 449 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,640 - Turn right. - Okay. 450 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,440 - Hey. - Hi. 451 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,240 What is this place? 452 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:07,480 These are my friends. 453 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,120 We're Gaymers. Gay gamers. 454 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:11,880 - Gaymers. - Gay... Yes. 455 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:13,840 I... 456 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,200 I thought this would be a club, some place to dance and have fun. 457 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:23,840 We never go to those places. They wouldn't let us in anyway. 458 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,080 Guys, this is Maddalena, my roommate. 459 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,200 You're gorgeous, Maddalena. What character are you? 460 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,520 Where were you hiding her? 461 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,120 You're super sexy! 462 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:33,440 Really? 463 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,320 Lesson number five. 464 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,960 Learn to take a compliment. Say thank you. 465 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:39,040 Thanks! 466 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,760 - Do you want to play with us? - Enough! 467 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,960 It's Thursday. You have a date elsewhere, remember? 468 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:50,080 I would love to, but I just realized I have some place to be... 469 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,760 I'd forgotten. Maybe I'll see you guys later! 470 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:55,280 Go. Have fun. 471 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,480 Recently, I've realized I'm getting old. 472 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,440 I've found my first gray hairs, 473 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:10,160 and I never miss an episode of Uomini e Donne. 474 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,520 Throne, over. 475 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:17,600 When I used to go to clubs like the one we're in now, 476 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,360 I had one goal. 477 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,720 Finding a hot guy who would sleep with me, 478 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,320 and never wanting to hear from me again. 479 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,160 I just spotted one back there... 480 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,880 Meet me in the restroom. 481 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,400 We'll play Rummy. I'll let you win. Call me granny. 482 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,360 Thanks. 483 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:42,080 With this, I leave the stage to another comedian 484 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,480 who, like me, is brave enough to get up here, 485 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:46,360 but is terrified of living life. 486 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,040 Leonardo Fedele. 487 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:52,640 Bravo! 488 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,560 Daniela Delle Foglie. Let's give her another round of applause. 489 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,200 What shall we discuss tonight? 490 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:06,160 How about a trend that I think signals the end of Western society. 491 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,080 Gender reveals. If you don't know what they are, let me explain. 492 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,560 It's a party of sorts, to announce 493 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,040 and reveal to the world whether the baby 494 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,880 will have a shitty life or not. 495 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,240 In other words, whether it's a boy or a girl. 496 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,200 And I met a girl, who is here with us tonight, 497 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,160 who rightly asked, "Why do we feel the need 498 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,960 "to celebrate the birth of a human who'll be on a lifelong diet? 499 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:35,720 "Who'll never love herself? 500 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:39,640 "Who'll have to date someone she met on the internet?" 501 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,640 Someone who might turn out to be a moron. Like me. 502 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,800 No, trust me, I wouldn't wish myself 503 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,680 on the bitchiest bitch. 504 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,120 I laugh at my own farts. 505 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,080 I don't wash much. 506 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:55,880 I smoke tons of weed. 507 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,320 I live off the small change you drop in my hat. 508 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,800 Which never amounts to very much, assholes! 509 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,480 Acting the clown on this stage 510 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:12,120 is still better than dancing on social media. 511 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,400 Well said. Enough of these influencers! 512 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:15,880 I wish they were influencers. 513 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:21,320 They're lawyers, gynecologists, architects, freelancers! 514 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:26,760 When exactly did humanity decide to start dancing on social media? 515 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,280 - Thank you. - Bravo! 516 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,720 But let's move on. 517 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,720 - Is it your first time here? - Why? 518 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,240 Because I'm sure I would have noticed you. 519 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:45,920 What can I get you? 520 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,120 A craft beer, please. 521 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,320 I'll be outside drinking, if you'd like to join me. 522 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:54,960 Okay. 523 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:56,760 Okay. 524 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,440 - That'll be five euros. - Sure. 525 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:01,720 She's my guest. 526 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,200 Give us another and put everything on my tab. 527 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,880 The tab you've been running since 2018 and never settled? 528 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:10,560 Come on, don't embarrass me in front of my friends! 529 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,600 I swear I'll pay... sooner or later. 530 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:14,680 Yeah, right. 531 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,640 Thanks. You didn't have to. 532 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,000 No worries. 533 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,640 You gave me so many ideas, it was basically plagiarism. 534 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,440 - Do you want to go for a walk? - Yeah. 535 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,680 - I'll grab my stuff. See you outside? - Yeah. 536 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,240 Sure thing. Give me that. I'll wait! 537 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,600 Bet you 100 euros I can fuck that fatass. 538 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:44,520 No fucking way. 539 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,520 Did you see her dress? She wants to fuck. 540 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:50,160 - But does she want to fuck you? - I'm a catch for someone like that. 541 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:51,600 Stop it. 542 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:53,560 Wait, sorry... 543 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,000 What are you doing? 544 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,440 He's a moron. 545 00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,760 He'd have to pay to be with someone like you. 546 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,200 I didn't mean... What I meant is that you're... 547 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,600 Sorry. I think you're very pretty... 548 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:06,840 All good? 549 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,560 Leonardo, you're amazing! You crack me up. 550 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,120 And you guys really suck. 551 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:14,480 Shall we? 552 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,000 Leonardo, we love you! 553 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:24,800 You should be a writer. 554 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,120 What you told me at the party worked great. 555 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:31,280 It's actually my job. I'm a ghostwriter. 556 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:33,760 I should have known. 557 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:38,960 What do you write about? 558 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,800 You know those self-help books in the top 10 lists? 559 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,880 Such as Find the Guts to be Brave. 560 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,160 Or Be Who You Are, but Maybe Less of an Asshole. 561 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,000 Have you never written anything of your own? 562 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,320 I would like to, but writing a book is hard. 563 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,240 It takes time, a contract. 564 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,880 If you don't have any followers, you're a nobody. 565 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,280 You could go on stage in the meantime. Make yourself heard. 566 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:05,400 No! 567 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,280 It's not for me. 568 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,120 My place is behind a computer. 569 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:13,280 - You get to hook up with a lot of people. - I'm very picky. 570 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:14,920 Really? 571 00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:17,760 What's your type? 572 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,080 I've never told anyone. 573 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,160 Father Pius! 574 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,680 Sorry, but what the fuck are you talking about? 575 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,520 I've had a crush on him for years. 576 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,800 Maybe because my grandma's house was full of pictures of him. 577 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,480 I don't know, it's just... 578 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,480 He's super hipster. 579 00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,520 Big beard, mysterious look. 580 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:42,680 He'd definitely ghost you. 581 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,280 Don't laugh. 582 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,080 That's why I don't like Saint Francis. 583 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,880 Vegan, environmentalist, a dog lover. No way. 584 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,560 No. It's Father Pius for me. 585 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,520 This would sound great on stage. 586 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,200 I think I'll steal it. 587 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,320 I have a... Well, it's not exactly an audition. 588 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:14,280 Some writers from a comedy TV show are coming to watch us at the club. 589 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,120 If my dad saw me on TV, he might start taking me seriously. 590 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:22,520 You fight a lot? 591 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,880 Worse. He ignores me. 592 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,880 He's the one who got me started, sending me to church. 593 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,040 What does stand-up comedy have to do with churchgoing? 594 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:37,360 Back then, 595 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,360 I went to Sunday school and got bullied. 596 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,120 - At Sunday school? - Yes. 597 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,200 - You're kidding. - It's true. 598 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,760 Then one day I lost my temper, 599 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,760 climbed up on the altar, took the mic from the priest, 600 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,680 and started talking shit in front of everyone. 601 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,160 And the assholes who beat me up laughed! 602 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:57,680 Amazing. 603 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,920 - What did the priest do? - He called an exorcist. 604 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,040 Cute. No way that happened. 605 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,560 DONATO: YOU OKAY? WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT LARA'S BOOK TOMORROW. 606 00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,160 I NEED ALL YOUR TALENT... 607 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:21,320 I should go. It's getting late. I have an early start tomorrow. 608 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,280 - Let's keep in touch. - We will. 609 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:26,720 - Sure. - Yeah. 610 00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:29,080 Bye. 611 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:30,200 Sorry. 612 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,040 Bye. 613 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,160 Father Pius? Maybe you're right. 614 00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:42,760 Bald, with a hipster beard. 615 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,040 A bit of a bear. Cool. 616 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,480 Trouble with the washing machine? 617 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,080 - Excuse me? - Your skirt. 618 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,600 It's noticeably shorter than usual. 619 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,960 I wanted to change my style a bit. 620 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,640 - Good choice. - Thanks. 621 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,960 You wanted to talk about Lara's book? 622 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,360 Yes. I scheduled you a meeting for this afternoon. 623 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,720 Do your best. First impressions are important. 624 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:16,680 Of course. 625 00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,240 Then again, 626 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,040 if things go badly, you can always... 627 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,000 try again. 628 00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,120 He wants to fuck. 629 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,520 - Are we still talking about Lara? - Of course. 630 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,240 Prep her well. We're announcing the book at FEDVED, 631 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,160 the publishing fair that actually sells. 632 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:39,800 What a bitch. 633 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:41,120 Go now. 634 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,560 - I'm going. - Go. 635 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,040 Go. Bye. 636 00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:01,560 Welcome. 637 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:03,960 Your house is... 638 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,800 Small, I know. It's cramped. 639 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,480 I needed a place downtown. 640 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,240 I'm renovating my lake house, look. 641 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:15,440 We use this place for work too. It's very convenient. 642 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,520 Sounds good. 643 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:18,840 Shall we sit here? 644 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,200 We only use that for photos, it's awful. 645 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:22,920 Let's sit on the real sofa. 646 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,120 Come along. 647 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:28,800 Here we are. 648 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:31,200 Girls. 649 00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:33,520 - Thanks. - Thanks. 650 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,640 Have a slice of protein cake. Apples and cinnamon. 651 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,560 - Smells like happiness. - It has the calories of a chickpea. 652 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:45,880 I know. 653 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,440 Shall we get you ready for the publishing fair? 654 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:54,800 We'll announce your book and you'll have to answer questions from journalists. 655 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,000 You think I can do it? 656 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:58,320 Of course. I'll help you. 657 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:03,120 Sometimes I'm scared of sounding stupid, and of carpeted hotel floors. 658 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,240 Not in this hotel. 659 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:07,960 The event will be held at a five-star resort. 660 00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:11,400 Those are nothing special, when you have a spa at home. 661 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,760 Where would you like to start? Your family? 662 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,520 My parents separated when I was very young, 663 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,520 and they worked all the time, so I hardly saw them. 664 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,600 My mum now manages my company. 665 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,000 I get along with my dad's girlfriend. 666 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,680 She's my age, so... 667 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,240 I was raised by my grandmother. 668 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:32,800 She's... 669 00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:36,040 - She's very ill now. - I'm sorry. 670 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,360 What do the doctors say? 671 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:41,480 That there's nothing to be done. There's no cure 672 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:43,800 for ingrown nails. 673 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,080 - Oh, dear. - Yeah. 674 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:52,600 Why don't we go around looking for gender reveal parties to crash? 675 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,280 I need new material. 676 00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:58,640 You could join the pilgrimage to Our Lady of Childbirth, 677 00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:00,920 organized for my sister by my mother. 678 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,720 Wow. A home elevator. 679 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,440 It's practically the size of a studio apartment. 680 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,560 - What a great life she has. - Great? 681 00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,600 - Her life is a cage. - What are you talking about? 682 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:18,240 Lara's famous, she's rolling in cash and everybody wants her. 683 00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,120 It must be amazing to be so admired and desired. 684 00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,200 Accepted? Picked? 685 00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:26,720 That too, I guess. Why? 686 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:28,720 If that's what you want. 687 00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,040 What's happening? 688 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,280 Open this thing. Valentina, no! 689 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,040 Where are we this time? 690 00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:46,000 - A blow-up doll store? - Sort of. These are women. 691 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:49,040 Here, women are picked. Look. 692 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:51,520 But... 693 00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:57,040 This is what you want, right? To be picked. 694 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,400 - That's Maria! - Of course. 695 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:05,920 Father Massimo! 696 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:07,760 Where's he going? 697 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,200 My mother is here too? 698 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,560 Yes. They're all here. 699 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,560 Go. Go get picked. 700 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:56,080 Madda, instead of begging men for attention 701 00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,280 in the hopes that someone will finally pick you, 702 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,480 why don't you learn to pick yourself? 703 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,000 What do you mean? 704 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,800 Lesson number six. 705 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:07,400 In life, you have to figure out what you like and go get it. 706 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,520 You need to become an active subject. 707 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,520 Stop being a passive object. 708 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:12,640 How do I do that? 709 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,360 Too skinny for me. 710 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:20,280 Lesson number seven. Never judge a book by its cover. 711 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,000 It might deliver a big surprise. 712 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:24,080 Madda? 713 00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:26,840 Can I use your straightener? 714 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,400 - Yes. - Thanks. 715 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:30,000 What do you need it for? 716 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:32,920 This guy? 717 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:34,640 Cute. 718 00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:36,920 What if he doesn't like me? 719 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,640 Subject, not object, Madda. 720 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,360 He looks interesting. 721 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:43,800 Why did you delete him? 722 00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,680 He likes inexperienced girls. 723 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:48,480 Then he's perfect for me. 724 00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:50,520 No, these guys are the worst. 725 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,400 They hate women like me and love women like you. 726 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,800 Because they can shape them into whatever they want. 727 00:43:57,880 --> 00:43:59,080 That is, a mother. 728 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,160 You're right. Thanks. 729 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,480 Enough with the sappy kisses. 730 00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,560 Lick my pussy or stop it. 731 00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:07,840 Done. 732 00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,640 - Did you use it to toast bread? - No. 733 00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:12,880 I straightened my armpit hair to see how long it is. 734 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,040 It's for a challenge. I won! 735 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,680 Why haven't I kicked him out? 736 00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:20,240 You don't earn enough to live on your own. 737 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,560 He's cute. I like him. 738 00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:25,040 MATCH! MESSAGE - CONTINUE BROWSING 739 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,960 We matched! Amazing! 740 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,200 I get it. All right. 741 00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:32,480 I get it, okay! 742 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:53,160 Come on. 743 00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:00,920 I'm sure he also has a dick. 744 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:23,800 Hey. How is he? 745 00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:26,120 He's an XL. 746 00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:28,080 Okay. 747 00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,240 So? What's it like to pick? 748 00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:00,320 Nice. 749 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:05,840 It makes me feel new, powerful, invincible. 750 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,000 It makes me feel sexy! 751 00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,920 Ready to seduce... Donato! 752 00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:16,040 No! Not Donato! 753 00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,520 Not Donato! 754 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:21,240 Fuck it! 755 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:38,080 Yeah, he'll never notice me. 756 00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,640 Cut it out! Have I taught you nothing? 757 00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:43,160 You're still comparing yourself to others? 758 00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:46,720 These "others" are extremely hot! 759 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,080 Then picture them as they... I don't know. Pop a pimple. 760 00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:51,520 They're still hot. 761 00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:53,240 Lesson number eight. 762 00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,360 Why waste time comparing yourself to other women, 763 00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:57,840 when you could bang them. 764 00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:01,240 You're not helping. 765 00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:03,360 There's Erika. Let's go. 766 00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,880 Finally. Check us in, we're busy. 767 00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,320 Have you seen Lara? I can't tell her apart. 768 00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,400 - They all look the same. - She's over there. 769 00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:13,760 The writer is very good. 770 00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,880 - Isn't that... - He had a book written too. 771 00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:17,880 I'll send it to you. 772 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,840 They're friends. Let's ask him to help with the launch. 773 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:22,440 Great idea! Take care of it. 774 00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:24,360 Where's Donato? 775 00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:26,120 Waiting in the conference room. 776 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:27,240 - See you there. - Okay. 777 00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:28,760 Thank you. 778 00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:30,120 - Good work. - Sorry. 779 00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:32,600 Right. 780 00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:40,160 - How boring. There's no pictures. - Why bring it to the spa? 781 00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:43,000 Mariano gave me this. What should I do with it? 782 00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:45,520 Post it to your Stories, I guess. 783 00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,440 Can we invite him to the launch? 784 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:49,840 What kind of Stories? 785 00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:51,800 I don't know... 786 00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,720 Like what you usually post to promote something. 787 00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,920 For example, "I'll try out this cream and let you know." 788 00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,400 The usual. 789 00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:03,120 How do I try out a book? 790 00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:07,520 Good question. 791 00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,400 - You read it? - Read? 792 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,040 I'm going to the spa, I need to focus. 793 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:19,160 You're so good at everything you do, couldn't you summarize it for me? 794 00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:20,840 Please. Pretty please. 795 00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:22,920 Thanks a million. 796 00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,120 You were right, this place is charming. 797 00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:26,920 And the floors aren't carpeted. 798 00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:32,280 Please, come in. 799 00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,080 How Do I Try Out a Book? 800 00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,520 The perfect title for an essay on the death of publishing. 801 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,520 I'd publish it. 802 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,760 Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. 803 00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:45,280 I'm Malika. Nice to meet you. 804 00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:46,520 Maddalena. 805 00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,160 Hello, Maddalena. 806 00:48:48,240 --> 00:48:52,160 I run a small publishing house, and published this. 807 00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:54,680 Should I give it to Lara? 808 00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:55,880 No, it's for you. 809 00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,160 I'd like your opinion. 810 00:48:58,240 --> 00:49:01,200 Perhaps you'd like to write something similar? 811 00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,800 How do you know I'm a writer? 812 00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:06,840 Your aura. 813 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:07,920 Of bad luck? 814 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,920 No. Your ghostwriter aura. 815 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,600 Everyone in the industry is familiar with the writers in the top 10. 816 00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:19,520 My business card is inside. If you want to write, you know where to find me. 817 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:20,600 Okay. 818 00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:22,160 Malika. 819 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,200 If I were to write a book, whose name would be on it? 820 00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,120 Yours. 821 00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:29,560 Hope to see you soon. 822 00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:30,640 See you soon. 823 00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:32,960 Mine. 824 00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:38,200 Fuck! Mariano. 825 00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:45,040 Six, eight. 826 00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,400 Which room is he in? 827 00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:49,520 Six, six. 828 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,480 - Mariano Di Vaio. Yes. - Hey... 829 00:49:57,560 --> 00:50:00,120 I don't usually walk around like this. I was at the spa. 830 00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:02,200 No problem. 831 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,080 You have no idea how many pornos start this way. 832 00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:08,200 The key's not working. 833 00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:10,920 - The old-fashioned ones worked better. - Need a hand? 834 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,200 - Only a hand? - Don't worry about it. 835 00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:15,640 I'll break it down. 836 00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:17,600 What a man. 837 00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:19,360 Is that my book? 838 00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:22,480 Yes. Lara gave it to me. 839 00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:23,880 You know Lara? 840 00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:25,680 Sort of. 841 00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,720 Are you sure you don't need help? 842 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,840 It's all yours. 843 00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:38,400 Voilà. 844 00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:40,320 I owe you one. 845 00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:43,280 Can I do anything for you? 846 00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:44,880 Ask him. 847 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:49,240 The launch of Lara's book, 848 00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,320 - it would be really helpful if you came. - Is that all? 849 00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:53,960 Is that all? 850 00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,440 - Ask him. - Shut up for a minute. 851 00:50:57,960 --> 00:50:59,680 Could I have your towel? 852 00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:03,440 Good girl! Lesson number nine. 853 00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,840 Boldness is always a good idea. 854 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:16,480 Fuck. 855 00:51:17,240 --> 00:51:18,760 Go ahead. Have a good evening. 856 00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:21,560 - Hello, I'm... - Your name, please. 857 00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:23,880 I have to see if you're on the list. 858 00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:25,440 I work for the publishing company. 859 00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:28,280 Good for you. I still need your name. 860 00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:29,800 Maddalena Gentili. 861 00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:31,720 Maddalena Gentili... 862 00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:33,840 With a J or a G? 863 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,400 - With a G. - G. 864 00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:38,280 It's not there. 865 00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,800 Try... Try Marilena. 866 00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:44,880 No. 867 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:48,480 Are you checking the Easy Edizioni list? 868 00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,080 - It's got to be there. - Sorry. 869 00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:57,240 Look, my colleagues are inside. Let me through and I'll fix this. 870 00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:00,120 - It'll only take a second. - No need to get agitated. 871 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,520 I can't let you through. 872 00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,720 There are limited seats. It's an insider event. 873 00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:07,560 I'm the one writing this masterpiece. 874 00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:08,880 Sure you are. 875 00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:12,400 Sorry, I'm following directions. 876 00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,040 We've been instructed not to let Lara's fans in. 877 00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:17,200 Fan? I'm not a fan. 878 00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:19,960 Do you know how many have tried this today? 879 00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:21,400 Come on now. 880 00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,600 If you're not on the list, you don't exist. 881 00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,520 I don't exist if I'm not on the list? 882 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,120 - What's your name? - Maddalena, lower your voice. 883 00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,160 - She's with me. - I'm with him. 884 00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:31,360 Update the list. 885 00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,480 I'm so sorry. Make way for the famous writer! 886 00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:37,520 Give these to the guys writing for Social and Terza età. Go. 887 00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:40,240 - Group photo! - Let's go. 888 00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:41,640 - Come on. - All right. 889 00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:44,000 - Squeeze closer. - All together now. 890 00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,280 Di Vaio came, did you see? 891 00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,760 Maddy! Come take a photo with us! 892 00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:50,160 No. She can't. 893 00:52:50,240 --> 00:52:51,520 Why not? She's so talented. 894 00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,720 Best to keep her contribution quiet. 895 00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:56,480 You can't tell she wrote my book from a photo! 896 00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:59,560 She worked with me and I want her in the picture. 897 00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:02,080 - I said no. She works for me. - Lower your voices. 898 00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:03,800 These dramatics are stupid. 899 00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:08,560 - Why not? - Have you seen her? 900 00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:10,280 She's clumsy and awkward. 901 00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:13,440 Look at the clothes she wears. 902 00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,920 - She looks like a pear. - She's right there. 903 00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,880 - Come on. - You shouldn't talk like that. 904 00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:23,760 I give up. I've never been with a woman like you... 905 00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:26,400 Bet you 100 euro I can fuck that fatass. 906 00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:30,480 If you lost some weight and took better care of yourself, he'd come back to you. 907 00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,520 Look at the clothes she wears. She looks like a pear. 908 00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:38,600 I don't want to be in your fucking picture anyway. 909 00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:40,680 Donato, can you... Thanks. 910 00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:41,880 - Excuse us. - Maddalena. 911 00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:44,080 Come along. 912 00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:46,600 - Behave, please. - "Behave"? 913 00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,440 Behave? I always behave. 914 00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:52,560 I'm tired of behaving in front of someone 915 00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:56,160 who says my body ruins a book launch. 916 00:53:56,240 --> 00:53:59,760 You're ruining the launch, Marilena. Enough already. 917 00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:01,960 Maddalena. My name is Maddalena. 918 00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:05,000 I didn't know being a writer required a perfect body. 919 00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:08,920 Is that why you've ignored my ideas for months, if not years? 920 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:09,880 Of course. 921 00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:14,200 You have to be skinny, beautiful and famous to be successful. 922 00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:16,840 Sorry, Lara. This goes for ghostwriters too. 923 00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:20,960 Those of us who write books for people who don't even read them. 924 00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:28,160 I'm tired of feeling bad because the world finds it convenient. 925 00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:33,040 It's convenient for me to spend money on miraculous herbal tea and slimming belts, 926 00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,000 or on fucking books telling me 927 00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:38,680 how to improve my life and hide my flaws under my clothes. 928 00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:43,200 Wouldn't our lives improve if we simply accepted ourselves the way we are? 929 00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:46,200 Thin, fat, pretty, ugly. 930 00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:47,360 Cool. 931 00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:48,560 Uncool. 932 00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:50,280 Like me. 933 00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:54,480 Snap your photos and write your own books. I'm done with this. 934 00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,800 I want to stop hating myself. Don't you? 935 00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:02,000 Aren't you tired of judging people the way you judge books? 936 00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:04,320 By the cover. 937 00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:05,400 Come on. 938 00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:09,480 Besides, I like my cover a lot. 939 00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:11,520 And many other people like it too. 940 00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:14,600 You're fired. I never want to see you again. 941 00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:16,880 - Erika, please. - Me?! 942 00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:20,920 Well said. 943 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,480 - Awesome. - Well done. 944 00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:24,240 Someone finally said it. 945 00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,800 Take my hand 946 00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,480 Lord 947 00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,640 Guide me through the world as you see fit 948 00:55:35,720 --> 00:55:38,040 This is Father Massimo's seat. Sit over there. 949 00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:43,400 The road is long and hard 950 00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:48,040 But I hold no fear with you in my heart 951 00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:52,120 I couldn't wait to travel 952 00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:55,560 Don't use your phone on a pilgrimage. Hand it over. 953 00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:56,960 - Mom. - Hand it over. 954 00:55:57,040 --> 00:55:59,560 - Let me turn it off. - It's an addiction. 955 00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:01,040 I'll turn it off. 956 00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,040 A woman 957 00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:09,080 Take my hand, Lord 958 00:56:09,720 --> 00:56:14,600 Guide me through the world as you see fit 959 00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:21,520 Are you all right, Madda? 960 00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:24,120 Just catching my breath. 961 00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:27,000 You can't stop. We have to reach the top together. 962 00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,040 Otherwise, Our Lady of Childbirth won't bless your sister. 963 00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:32,640 - How will she get through labor? - With an epidural. 964 00:56:32,720 --> 00:56:34,720 I'm taking a break. Give me a minute. 965 00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:37,200 Madda, all you do is take breaks. 966 00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:38,440 You waste time. 967 00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:43,240 Life should be taken head on. Got it? Now grit your teeth and let's go. 968 00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:46,280 You have to fight. You need to learn to fight. 969 00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:48,560 You think you taught me to fight? 970 00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:49,920 Yeah, right. 971 00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:53,360 All my life, you've been sabotaging my self-esteem. 972 00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:57,120 "Madda, do this," "Don't do that," "Eat pineapple, it helps weight loss." 973 00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:59,160 So don't complain that I've given up, 974 00:56:59,240 --> 00:57:02,000 or about the fact I'm single, ugly, sad and unemployed! 975 00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:04,800 You're unemployed? 976 00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:06,640 Yes, and it's your fault. 977 00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:21,040 See you up there? 978 00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:23,760 Don't even think about ditching me. Come with me. 979 00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:29,400 Beautiful! 980 00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:32,400 That was harder than a gang bang. 981 00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:45,080 Sister-in-law, have I ever introduced you to my childhood friend, Leonardo? 982 00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:46,960 - No. - No. 983 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,200 Then let's get it done now! 984 00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:52,160 My love, zip up your jacket, you'll catch a cold! 985 00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:53,640 Stop fussing. 986 00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:55,160 You came. 987 00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:59,360 I couldn't miss this. I'll have enough material for three shows. 988 00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,000 - Shall we join together in prayer? - Let's join together. 989 00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:05,600 Let's go say a Rosary. 990 00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:08,000 - Want to join them? - Do we have to? 991 00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:10,480 Not at all. Come with me. 992 00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:13,080 Where to? Where are we going? 993 00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:14,600 It's a surprise. 994 00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:19,080 Keep your eyes closed. We're nearly there. 995 00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:20,200 Okay. 996 00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:23,400 Careful, there's some mud here. 997 00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:25,320 - Which way? - Follow me. Don't worry. 998 00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:27,360 - Trust me. Mind the poop. - No! 999 00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:28,440 You stepped in it. 1000 00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:30,920 - You're joking. - I was. 1001 00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:33,520 Careful now. 1002 00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,480 - Okay. - It's a bit steep. 1003 00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:37,400 - Okay. - Easy does it. 1004 00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:39,640 - Now... - Help! 1005 00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:40,760 - Help! - Come along. 1006 00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:42,720 - Am I going to die? - Why would you? 1007 00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:44,720 - I don't know. - I prefer you alive. 1008 00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:46,440 - How strange... - Up you come. 1009 00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:49,160 - What's this? - Now... 1010 00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:50,600 Open your arms. 1011 00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:54,200 - You want to do the Titanic pose? - Much better than that. 1012 00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:57,400 Close your arms and open your eyes. 1013 00:58:59,920 --> 00:59:01,200 No way! 1014 00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:04,400 Father Pius! 1015 00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:05,800 I don't believe this! 1016 00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:08,280 You're completely crazy! 1017 00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,240 You said he was your type! 1018 00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:11,360 He is. 1019 00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:13,560 How wonderful! 1020 00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:25,680 I'm glad I came here. 1021 00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:29,120 Surrounded by sheep, in the company of a black sheep. 1022 00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:31,920 I'm a black sheep too. 1023 00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:33,720 Look there. 1024 00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:36,240 Two black sheep making their own flock. 1025 00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:46,920 Anyways... 1026 00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:51,280 I really will write a piece about the pilgrimage. 1027 00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:53,720 Yeah. Are you coming to the audition? 1028 00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:56,320 It's an open event. 1029 00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:59,960 The writers want feedback. I need some loud laughter. 1030 01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:04,240 - I'll roll you a blunt before the show. - There's no need. 1031 01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:05,480 Of course I'll be there. 1032 01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:10,720 You'll do great. Everyone will love it. 1033 01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:13,720 You'll get to be on TV. 1034 01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:18,440 And you'll make your dad proud. 1035 01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:23,880 Let's hope so. 1036 01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:29,080 Don't be reckless. 1037 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:31,920 - See you around? - Don't be reckless. 1038 01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:33,560 - Don't commit impure acts. - Bye. 1039 01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:36,080 Again, don't be reckless. 1040 01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:39,800 Don't be reckless. 1041 01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:41,960 Where's Mom? 1042 01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:45,600 In the car. Did you purposely miss the bus to avoid her? 1043 01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:47,680 That would be impossible. 1044 01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:52,040 This is from her. Try and make up, or I'll be dragged into it. 1045 01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:54,560 - Is that Leonardo? - Yes. 1046 01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:56,640 Be careful. 1047 01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:05,360 One day without your phone and the world goes mad? 1048 01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:07,520 I don't know what's going on. 1049 01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,760 But something must have happened. 1050 01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:11,600 I'm getting lots of new followers. 1051 01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:13,080 No way! 1052 01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:15,960 Someone filmed my rant at the fair! 1053 01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:17,600 Shit! 1054 01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:20,640 I think you've gone... 1055 01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:23,480 - viral! - Viral! 1056 01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:25,160 Cool. 1057 01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:27,640 Just don't start drinking herbal tea. 1058 01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:29,320 No... 1059 01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:30,920 Excuse me. 1060 01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:36,760 DONATO: COME TO THE OFFICE TOMORROW 1061 01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:40,840 - Shall we go? - Yeah. 1062 01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:41,920 Okay. 1063 01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,560 Are you sure you want to do this, Lara? 1064 01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:49,480 - I'm worried you'll lose the contract. - No, the truth is trendy right now. 1065 01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:50,960 Look at Maddalena. 1066 01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:53,600 - Hey. - Hi. 1067 01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:55,200 - Hello, Madda. - Hello. 1068 01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:58,400 I'm sorry we aren't working together anymore. 1069 01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:00,600 - I feel kind of guilty... - Don't. 1070 01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:05,080 We just met my new gho... gha... The new you. 1071 01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:07,520 She's nice, but you were cooler. 1072 01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:09,800 Thanks. Don't worry. 1073 01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:13,920 I figured they'd assign you a new ghostwriter. 1074 01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:17,720 I screwed up, so... 1075 01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:21,200 At least you're an influencer now. Why don't you come to my party? 1076 01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:23,000 It's actually a private party 1077 01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:26,360 for the launch of the beauty line Lara is the face of. 1078 01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:27,840 Di Vaio will be there too. 1079 01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:29,400 He asked for your number. 1080 01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,800 - I gave it to him. He's the Di Vaio. - That's good. 1081 01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:34,680 - Promise to think about it? - Yeah. 1082 01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:39,120 You see these cadeaux, Maddalena? 1083 01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:42,920 Brands sent them after you went viral. 1084 01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:45,680 They're for you. Tag the brands. 1085 01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:47,960 Everyone knows who you are now. 1086 01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:51,720 We've always known. And we always had faith in you. 1087 01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:54,480 How many projects did we trust her with? 1088 01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:56,320 How many? 1089 01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:58,080 Shall we bury the hatchet? 1090 01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:01,000 I'm not fired anymore? 1091 01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:07,560 You are. Only because we want to offer you an exclusive contract to write a book. 1092 01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:09,760 We want you to write a book. 1093 01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:12,960 A book of your very own. 1094 01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,000 Don't trust them. 1095 01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:18,720 You really must write something about this lovely business 1096 01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:20,960 of accepting yourself as you are. 1097 01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:22,440 People love it. 1098 01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:26,120 Body positivity is all the rage. 1099 01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:30,360 Your success on social media proves that this is your moment. 1100 01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:32,520 You must ride the wave. 1101 01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:35,800 This is your big chance. 1102 01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:38,760 We're your big chance. 1103 01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:40,160 Or are you theirs? 1104 01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:48,040 - Ste, guess what... Hello. - Hello. 1105 01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:50,600 They've asked me to write a book of my own! 1106 01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:52,600 Great! 1107 01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:54,960 Where are you going? 1108 01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,920 To stay at Giacomo's. He's my boyfriend. 1109 01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:03,560 - I'll wait in the car. - Yeah. 1110 01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:06,800 You got together with Legolas? 1111 01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:08,600 Cool. Since when? 1112 01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:09,680 A while now. 1113 01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:11,760 I didn't know. 1114 01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:15,680 Because you only ever talk about your life and never ask about mine. 1115 01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:18,040 Okay, sorry. 1116 01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:19,800 When will you be back? 1117 01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:22,520 Never. 1118 01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:27,800 I'll stop by later this week to pick up the rest of my stuff. 1119 01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:31,240 - I've given the landlord notice. - What? 1120 01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:35,280 I'll help you rent out the room again. 1121 01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:40,160 There's no need. I can afford this place now. 1122 01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:44,240 Bye. 1123 01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,720 Be-wild herbal tea. 1124 01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:04,520 I'm delighted to be collaborating with Nuova Vita Herbal Tea. 1125 01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,960 This herbal tea is amazing, slimming and delicious. 1126 01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:12,120 It's plastic-free. The bottle is made of glass and bamboo. 1127 01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:13,880 Swipe up to find out more! 1128 01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:38,920 Could you like our Page when you have time? 1129 01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:40,160 Welcome. Allow me. 1130 01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:41,280 My phone is dead. 1131 01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:45,360 It only takes a minute. Easy Edizioni, you can't go wrong. 1132 01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:46,600 I'll take a look later. 1133 01:05:46,680 --> 01:05:48,920 - We have thousands of followers. - Hello! 1134 01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:51,400 You can give us a like, 1135 01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:53,880 - and unlike us if we're not for you. - Excuse me. 1136 01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:56,680 Why don't you answer my messages? 1137 01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:00,080 Because... 1138 01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:01,560 Wait here. 1139 01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:03,600 - I'll get you a drink. - Okay. 1140 01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:10,960 I just want to repay you with the classic invitation to dinner? 1141 01:06:11,040 --> 01:06:13,440 - I eat a lot. - So do I. 1142 01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:17,600 What is with the fake laughter? 1143 01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:20,920 Right now, I'm craving cherries. 1144 01:06:22,040 --> 01:06:23,800 You aren't interested in this guy at all. 1145 01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:33,040 Are you trying to make Donato jealous? 1146 01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:34,400 You're pathetic. 1147 01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:36,760 We're ready for the toast, guys. Follow me. 1148 01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:41,440 Text me. I'll answer this time. 1149 01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:46,920 - Can I take a selfie with you? - Sure. 1150 01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:52,240 - Thank you so much! - No problem. 1151 01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:56,360 LEONARDO: BLACK SHEEP, AUDITION IN AN HOUR. COUNTING ON YOU! 1152 01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:58,600 - Can I take a selfie with you? - Sure. 1153 01:06:58,680 --> 01:06:59,680 Thanks. 1154 01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:04,400 - Thank you! - Speech! 1155 01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:07,080 - Thanks. - Speech! 1156 01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:09,640 Speech! 1157 01:07:09,720 --> 01:07:11,040 Hello, everyone. 1158 01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:13,640 I'm not very good at speeches. 1159 01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:15,560 I'm much better at making videos. 1160 01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:17,840 But I'd like to take advantage of the launch 1161 01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:20,200 of this beauty line that was made so thoughtfully, 1162 01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:22,320 to speak to you from my heart. 1163 01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:25,040 I've always shared everything with my fans. 1164 01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:27,080 Except this. 1165 01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:31,400 Wow. Okay. 1166 01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:36,600 Free at last. 1167 01:07:39,560 --> 01:07:41,320 My love. 1168 01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:42,880 Wait, that's enough. 1169 01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:46,320 We work together, Erika. I'm not sure we should do this. 1170 01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:47,400 No? 1171 01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:48,880 You're fired. 1172 01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:53,920 Let's raise a toast! 1173 01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:55,800 Now that's a genuine relationship. 1174 01:08:02,680 --> 01:08:06,400 Can I buy you a drink or do you only accept them from VIPs? 1175 01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:09,120 You'll have to catch me first. 1176 01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:15,560 You know I love a good challenge. 1177 01:08:16,880 --> 01:08:18,600 I know he's married! 1178 01:08:21,440 --> 01:08:23,440 Why not find yourself a single guy? 1179 01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,320 People are so greedy. 1180 01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:32,240 Maddalena, not him. 1181 01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:35,560 Let's get out of here. 1182 01:08:36,040 --> 01:08:37,120 Let's go to my place. 1183 01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:39,240 What about your wife? 1184 01:08:40,440 --> 01:08:41,440 She left. 1185 01:08:50,720 --> 01:08:52,040 Everything okay in there? 1186 01:08:52,120 --> 01:08:53,600 Yes, I'm fine. 1187 01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:13,640 I can't believe we're doing this again. 1188 01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:14,760 God. 1189 01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:16,000 You taught me all this. 1190 01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:19,560 To be sexy and take who I want. To be the subject, not an object. 1191 01:09:19,640 --> 01:09:22,640 I didn't teach you to self-sabotage! 1192 01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:23,880 Get out there. 1193 01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:25,080 Out! 1194 01:09:28,360 --> 01:09:30,520 - Get in. - What is this? 1195 01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:33,240 - Get inside! - Not again! 1196 01:09:33,320 --> 01:09:34,440 Fine. 1197 01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:39,760 Look what your self-esteem has become. 1198 01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:41,880 - It looks beautiful. - It's a cage. 1199 01:09:41,960 --> 01:09:44,600 No place is beautiful when there's no way out. 1200 01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:48,000 Your self-esteem depends on other people's opinions. 1201 01:09:48,080 --> 01:09:49,920 I'm a role model for many people. 1202 01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:51,960 Except for yourself, Maddalena. 1203 01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:55,800 What's bothering you so much? 1204 01:09:55,880 --> 01:09:58,920 The fact that you haven't grasped the most important lesson of all! 1205 01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:03,280 You don't need other people's approval, you only need your own. 1206 01:10:09,280 --> 01:10:10,280 You're afraid. 1207 01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:12,720 Of what? 1208 01:10:12,800 --> 01:10:13,920 Of me being happy. 1209 01:10:14,560 --> 01:10:15,440 That's right. 1210 01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:18,640 If I'm happy, I won't need you anymore. 1211 01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:21,040 And you'll vanish. 1212 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:46,560 LEONARDO: WHERE ARE YOU? 1213 01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:00,000 Finally. 1214 01:11:01,200 --> 01:11:02,360 What? 1215 01:11:02,440 --> 01:11:04,000 You seem different. 1216 01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:05,200 You're... 1217 01:11:07,080 --> 01:11:08,240 more sure of yourself. 1218 01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:11,240 Free of your inhibitions. 1219 01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:15,040 Now you know what you want. 1220 01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:19,320 You're right, I do. 1221 01:11:21,840 --> 01:11:23,320 Wait here. 1222 01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:24,640 I want to celebrate. 1223 01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:38,480 I want to raise a glass to you. You've finally realized your worth. 1224 01:11:42,560 --> 01:11:45,400 - Didn't you say your wife left? - Yes. 1225 01:11:45,480 --> 01:11:47,440 For a weekend with her girlfriends. 1226 01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:56,120 What are you doing? 1227 01:11:56,840 --> 01:12:01,000 Once you realize you deserve better, you'll wonder how you settled for so long. 1228 01:12:01,080 --> 01:12:03,080 Aren't you tired of living like this? 1229 01:12:03,160 --> 01:12:05,000 I honestly feel sorry for you, Donato. 1230 01:12:05,440 --> 01:12:09,040 Because, deep down, you're better than all of this. 1231 01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:12,000 But... 1232 01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:23,640 - You did well. - The others were worse. 1233 01:12:23,720 --> 01:12:25,120 - Thanks. - No problem. 1234 01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:26,920 - Thank you. Bye. - We're leaving. 1235 01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:28,240 - Hi. - See you! 1236 01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:30,160 How did it go? Did you kill it? 1237 01:12:30,240 --> 01:12:32,720 No. It hasn't been a great night. 1238 01:12:33,440 --> 01:12:35,600 - Why not? - It happens. 1239 01:12:36,320 --> 01:12:38,080 The audience was off. 1240 01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:41,800 Sometimes a joke that has always worked fails to land. 1241 01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:45,920 I'm sorry I didn't get here on time. 1242 01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:51,120 I was silly to text you while you were at the party. 1243 01:12:52,120 --> 01:12:53,360 I saw your Stories. 1244 01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:56,720 I still hoped you'd show up. 1245 01:12:57,840 --> 01:13:00,400 Because two black sheep can make their own flock. 1246 01:13:03,800 --> 01:13:06,680 You're not a black sheep anymore though, are you? 1247 01:13:11,720 --> 01:13:15,000 Shall we grab a beer? 1248 01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:17,560 We could take a walk, just the two of us. 1249 01:13:21,560 --> 01:13:22,840 It's late, Maddalena. 1250 01:14:27,520 --> 01:14:28,600 PLEASE HIM!!! ENTER 1251 01:14:28,680 --> 01:14:30,160 VALENTINA NAPPI'S SECRETS 1252 01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:07,040 Valentina, where are you? 1253 01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,440 MOM: MARIA IS IN LABOR! 1254 01:15:35,200 --> 01:15:36,200 Madda. 1255 01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:44,640 WELCOME ALDO 1256 01:15:44,720 --> 01:15:45,960 She named him after Dad! 1257 01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:48,880 It was a surprise for me too. 1258 01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:52,320 - Sister-in-law! - Congratulations. 1259 01:15:52,920 --> 01:15:53,800 Thanks. 1260 01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:55,600 Maria and little Aldo are resting. 1261 01:15:55,680 --> 01:15:57,720 I'm going to Mom's to pick up Enrico. 1262 01:15:57,800 --> 01:16:00,200 I'll try and squeeze in a shower, too. Later! 1263 01:16:00,280 --> 01:16:01,520 - Bye. - Bye. 1264 01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:08,200 - You should get some rest too. - I wouldn't be able to sleep. 1265 01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:11,040 - Too anxious? - Too happy. 1266 01:16:11,960 --> 01:16:14,000 That's what a mother's life is like. 1267 01:16:14,920 --> 01:16:17,960 Sometimes it's joy, sometimes it's sorrow. 1268 01:16:22,040 --> 01:16:23,720 I'm sorry, Mom. 1269 01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:26,720 - I was a bitch. - Watch your language, Madda! 1270 01:16:26,800 --> 01:16:29,920 - I can call myself a bitch! - You're not though. 1271 01:16:31,040 --> 01:16:32,840 Yet I'm never good enough for you. 1272 01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:36,000 What's not good enough is seeing you unhappy. 1273 01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:38,720 It's a sin, how little you believe in yourself. 1274 01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:41,480 So every now and then, I try to give you advice. 1275 01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:47,440 - Every now and then? - Yes, every now... 1276 01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:49,120 Every... 1277 01:16:49,200 --> 01:16:51,080 Every so often. 1278 01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:56,240 Do you ever think that your idea of happiness 1279 01:16:56,320 --> 01:16:57,840 may be different from mine? 1280 01:17:00,560 --> 01:17:02,800 It's the only one I know. 1281 01:17:03,680 --> 01:17:06,480 All my life, I've been a mother... 1282 01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:09,400 It wasn't easy raising you all by myself. 1283 01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:14,360 I was terrified that the world would not be kind to you. 1284 01:17:14,440 --> 01:17:16,240 You're too sensitive, Madda. 1285 01:17:22,080 --> 01:17:24,480 - You did great. - Well... 1286 01:17:26,520 --> 01:17:28,240 I'll never be like you and Maria, 1287 01:17:29,160 --> 01:17:31,440 but now I know that being myself is fine too. 1288 01:17:34,240 --> 01:17:38,320 I'm proud of you, and everything that you're doing. 1289 01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:41,000 I'm sorry if I never told you that. 1290 01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:44,920 I'm not brave. But you... you're perfect. 1291 01:17:45,720 --> 01:17:47,640 You're perfect the way you are, Madda. 1292 01:17:52,560 --> 01:17:54,600 Of course I am. I'm your daughter. 1293 01:17:56,680 --> 01:17:57,680 Indeed. 1294 01:18:04,640 --> 01:18:05,640 Want a sandwich? 1295 01:18:06,280 --> 01:18:07,280 All right. 1296 01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:09,800 A midnight sandwich. 1297 01:18:11,160 --> 01:18:12,160 Look. 1298 01:18:12,240 --> 01:18:15,560 - Father Massimo, at this hour! - Grazia. 1299 01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:17,880 - For our grandson, this and more. - Yes... 1300 01:18:18,560 --> 01:18:19,960 - Coffee? - Yeah. 1301 01:18:20,720 --> 01:18:22,600 We'll go find the vending machine. 1302 01:18:27,040 --> 01:18:29,840 Vale, I think you were right about my mom and the vicar. 1303 01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:37,560 What's this delicious smell of ham? 1304 01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:45,240 So good. 1305 01:18:45,320 --> 01:18:47,960 I've dreamed of nothing else for nine months. 1306 01:18:48,720 --> 01:18:50,680 Where did you get it, at this hour? 1307 01:18:50,760 --> 01:18:52,680 The 24/7 supermarket. 1308 01:18:52,760 --> 01:18:53,960 You can't imagine. 1309 01:18:54,040 --> 01:18:56,400 It was packed with kids with the munchies. 1310 01:18:56,480 --> 01:18:57,480 Lucky them. 1311 01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:01,960 You get the munchies after smoking weed. 1312 01:19:02,840 --> 01:19:04,960 I know, that's why I said "lucky them"! 1313 01:19:05,040 --> 01:19:06,320 Are you crazy? 1314 01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:09,840 You think I've never smoked a joint? 1315 01:19:09,920 --> 01:19:11,240 You? No way... 1316 01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:15,280 - When I was young. - You are young. 1317 01:19:15,360 --> 01:19:17,480 You're no longer young when you have a kid. 1318 01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:19,000 Never mind two kids. 1319 01:19:20,320 --> 01:19:21,320 He's so cute. 1320 01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:25,080 Look how cute he is, sleeping away. 1321 01:19:25,760 --> 01:19:27,840 He's got an old man's name. Aldo. 1322 01:19:27,920 --> 01:19:30,200 But it was Dad's name, so... 1323 01:19:30,280 --> 01:19:31,400 Mommy's here. 1324 01:19:32,640 --> 01:19:34,280 You'll be a super-mom to him too. 1325 01:19:36,520 --> 01:19:37,720 I don't know. 1326 01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:41,960 Have you ever thought about the fact that the Virgin Mary only had one kid? 1327 01:19:42,680 --> 01:19:44,360 It must mean something. 1328 01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:45,600 Of course. 1329 01:21:13,680 --> 01:21:15,760 He likes dolls. 1330 01:21:15,840 --> 01:21:19,000 Enrico, give me the doll. 1331 01:21:19,080 --> 01:21:22,440 - Cut it out, Mom. - You should play with... Give me the doll! 1332 01:21:22,520 --> 01:21:24,400 Who cares what he plays with. 1333 01:21:24,520 --> 01:21:26,040 Come! Let's go to your aunt! 1334 01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:27,200 Hi! 1335 01:21:27,280 --> 01:21:28,720 Here he is! 1336 01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:31,480 No, no, no. 1337 01:21:31,560 --> 01:21:34,280 - Isn't he cute? - It's kind of hot in here. 1338 01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:35,840 Go, please. 1339 01:21:35,920 --> 01:21:37,560 - Yeah. - Keep an eye on him. 1340 01:21:38,040 --> 01:21:40,040 - Be careful! - I will be. Go! 1341 01:21:40,120 --> 01:21:42,000 Behave, darling, okay? 1342 01:21:43,560 --> 01:21:44,840 You'll regret this. 1343 01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:46,520 I don't think so. 1344 01:21:50,240 --> 01:21:51,520 - Tommaso! - Yes, ma'am. 1345 01:22:13,520 --> 01:22:15,800 They are not influencers. 1346 01:22:15,880 --> 01:22:18,360 If they were, they'd promote herbal tea. 1347 01:22:18,440 --> 01:22:21,480 That is, they'd sell their soul to the devil. 1348 01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:23,880 No. They're lawyers. 1349 01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:27,040 They're professionals, freelancers! 1350 01:22:38,680 --> 01:22:44,680 DI VAIO: I'M INVITING YOU TO DINNER, LET'S SEE IF YOU'LL ANSWER THIS TIME... 1351 01:22:45,440 --> 01:22:49,560 OF COURSE, BUT WILL YOU FORGIVE ME IF I'M NOT COMING? 1352 01:22:49,640 --> 01:22:53,960 MY HEAD IS... ELSEWHERE. 1353 01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:10,000 MADDALENA GENTILI MY SELF-ESTEEM IS AN EMPTY ROOM 1354 01:23:10,760 --> 01:23:12,840 TO THE BLACK SHEEP 1355 01:23:16,360 --> 01:23:17,440 Hello. 1356 01:23:17,520 --> 01:23:18,640 - Hello. - Hello. 1357 01:23:18,720 --> 01:23:22,840 Some of you know me personally, and others because of that viral video. 1358 01:23:22,920 --> 01:23:25,520 It's strange being a meme. 1359 01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:28,880 Especially after spending my life running away from my appearance. 1360 01:23:28,960 --> 01:23:31,840 Suddenly I'm everywhere, even on strangers' phones in the subway. 1361 01:23:31,920 --> 01:23:35,200 My mother even shared the video in our parish's group chat. 1362 01:23:35,280 --> 01:23:36,600 I'm not joking. 1363 01:23:37,440 --> 01:23:39,960 A year ago, I would have introduced myself like this: 1364 01:23:40,040 --> 01:23:44,800 "My name is Maddalena, I'm 30 years old, and I don't like anything about myself." 1365 01:23:45,280 --> 01:23:46,280 But not today. 1366 01:23:47,280 --> 01:23:49,920 Because at some point, things change. 1367 01:23:51,240 --> 01:23:52,680 Or perhaps, we change. 1368 01:23:52,760 --> 01:23:55,680 And our self-esteem begins to blossom. 1369 01:24:03,040 --> 01:24:06,360 In this book, you'll meet the many people who helped me 1370 01:24:06,440 --> 01:24:09,080 fill up the bare room that was my self-esteem. 1371 01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:18,040 Among them is the funniest guy I've ever met. 1372 01:24:18,120 --> 01:24:19,840 He laughs at my jokes, 1373 01:24:19,920 --> 01:24:22,920 smokes tons of weed and will never hold down a serious job. 1374 01:24:23,000 --> 01:24:24,480 He helped me a lot. 1375 01:24:24,560 --> 01:24:27,440 Helped me understand that I want a guy who can really see me, 1376 01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:29,600 even though I've been hiding my whole life. 1377 01:24:30,440 --> 01:24:34,160 A guy who'll love me when I hate myself, even when I stay in my pajamas 1378 01:24:34,240 --> 01:24:36,520 three days straight watching porn. 1379 01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:37,920 Sorry, Mom. 1380 01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:40,320 A guy who believes in me more than I believe in myself. 1381 01:24:40,400 --> 01:24:42,200 Who pushes me to do things 1382 01:24:42,280 --> 01:24:45,640 I would never have the guts to do like write this book 1383 01:24:45,720 --> 01:24:47,160 and get up on this stage. 1384 01:24:47,240 --> 01:24:51,920 And since we're on the subject, will you have a beer with me later? 1385 01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:54,320 Because I like you. A lot. 1386 01:24:54,400 --> 01:24:55,720 More than Father Pius. 1387 01:24:57,280 --> 01:24:59,160 And because you're right. 1388 01:24:59,240 --> 01:25:01,480 Two black sheep make their own flock. 1389 01:25:08,760 --> 01:25:09,760 Thank you. 1390 01:25:11,960 --> 01:25:12,960 Hey. 1391 01:25:15,200 --> 01:25:16,200 Hey! 1392 01:25:40,240 --> 01:25:42,720 - I can't do it. - Go to the bathroom. Go! 1393 01:25:57,840 --> 01:25:59,600 Are they... 1394 01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:01,000 Remember us? 1395 01:26:05,200 --> 01:26:06,960 - Do you want... - Are you stupid? 1396 01:26:07,080 --> 01:26:08,200 We don't need a third. 1397 01:26:29,720 --> 01:26:30,880 You messed up my hair. 1398 01:26:34,920 --> 01:26:35,920 No... 1399 01:26:37,160 --> 01:26:39,920 - What's wrong? - Nothing, it's amazing, but... 1400 01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:41,400 You're crying. 1401 01:26:41,480 --> 01:26:44,240 Yes. No, but... 1402 01:26:44,320 --> 01:26:48,440 It's amazing. I don't know, this has never happened to me before... 1403 01:26:48,520 --> 01:26:50,800 - You cry when you orgasm. - Maybe. 1404 01:26:51,720 --> 01:26:53,000 I laugh. 1405 01:26:54,040 --> 01:26:55,040 Yeah! 1406 01:26:59,480 --> 01:27:00,480 I'm thirsty. 1407 01:27:00,920 --> 01:27:02,520 I'm really thirsty. 1408 01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:12,040 Madda. Lesson number 10. 1409 01:27:12,120 --> 01:27:16,520 When you're in love, don't forget about the sex. 1410 01:27:16,600 --> 01:27:17,680 Okay. 1411 01:27:18,520 --> 01:27:19,600 You look beautiful. 1412 01:27:20,960 --> 01:27:23,520 - How about another round? - That would be three. 1413 01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:25,800 Four, actually. 1414 01:27:29,160 --> 01:27:31,680 Well, one more is good. 1415 01:28:09,920 --> 01:28:12,160 STILL FABULOUS 1416 01:28:18,680 --> 01:28:19,520 Thank you. 1417 01:28:19,600 --> 01:28:22,440 - I love your movies. Can I take a selfie? - Of course. 1418 01:28:24,320 --> 01:28:26,000 - Thanks. Bye. - No problem. Bye! 1419 01:28:26,960 --> 01:28:27,960 Hello. 1420 01:28:28,000 --> 01:28:29,120 Vale! 1421 01:28:29,200 --> 01:28:32,040 - Hi! - Get in line like everyone else, please. 1422 01:28:32,120 --> 01:28:35,480 No, I know her! Vale, it's me, Maddalena! 1423 01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:38,920 You've stopped showing up because you don't think I need you. 1424 01:28:39,000 --> 01:28:40,720 Don't be silly. I miss you, Vale! 1425 01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:42,120 - Let me go! - Who's this nutjob? 1426 01:28:42,200 --> 01:28:43,440 Please do something. 1427 01:28:43,520 --> 01:28:46,040 Vale, we came to this store together! 1428 01:28:46,120 --> 01:28:47,360 Don't you remember? 1429 01:28:47,440 --> 01:28:50,080 - Vale, please! - I don't know her. 1430 01:28:51,640 --> 01:28:53,720 I haven't fucked her, either. 1431 01:28:53,800 --> 01:28:55,440 At least, I don't think I have. 103548