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1
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I always knew I'd be famous.
2
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Back at school,
if you'd have told me that four of us...
3
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,333
would become the biggest rock band
on the planet,
4
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,250
I'd have asked
who the other three were.
5
00:01:36,292 --> 00:01:37,583
I know what you're thinking.
6
00:01:37,750 --> 00:01:41,125
Everyone wants to be a rock star, right?
7
00:01:41,292 --> 00:01:44,458
Well, this wasn't some vague dream,
this was real.
8
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:53,666
I had it all planned out.
9
00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:55,458
Form a band.
10
00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:57,916
Release a series
of ground-breaking albums.
11
00:01:58,083 --> 00:02:00,583
Tour the world's greatest stadiums.
12
00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:04,708
Pull off the biggest rock and roll
invasion of America since the Beatles.
13
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,791
This life that I had going on
inside my head.
14
00:02:18,708 --> 00:02:20,750
It wasn't my life at all.
15
00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:24,416
It never was. It was his.
16
00:02:26,125 --> 00:02:27,875
He rises, I fall.
17
00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:30,416
He just gets bigger and better.
18
00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:33,958
I suck up all the shite luck
that never goes his way.
19
00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:44,208
Hey, is that the... It is!
20
00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:50,875
No!
21
00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:05,291
Get out of the way.
You out of the way, now there. Go on.
22
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,166
I always knew I'd be famous.
23
00:03:32,125 --> 00:03:34,250
What you brought that thing in for?
You'll have someone's eye out with that.
24
00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:36,916
- I've got a lesson with Mr. Rowland.
- What, that fogey old fart?
25
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,083
What's he gonna teach you,
a punk rock version of "Danny Boy"?
26
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:40,291
Yeah, maybe.
27
00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:43,250
Hey, Paul.
Paul, what's the craic?
28
00:03:43,416 --> 00:03:44,875
Larry's putting a band together.
29
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:46,791
Oh, great.
30
00:03:46,958 --> 00:03:49,750
- Who is Larry?
- Larry Mullen, two years below.
31
00:03:49,916 --> 00:03:51,875
- Oh, nice axe, man.
- Oh, cheers.
32
00:03:52,041 --> 00:03:53,541
Yeah, he saved all his pocket money
for three years,
33
00:03:53,708 --> 00:03:54,916
- he's so rock and roll, aren't ya?
- Oh, yeah.
34
00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:56,416
You should come and try out.
35
00:03:56,583 --> 00:03:58,916
- Hey, they need a singer.
- You're looking at him.
36
00:03:59,083 --> 00:04:02,750
You? It's bad enough having to
stand next to you in choir practice
37
00:04:02,916 --> 00:04:04,375
singing like you've lost a bollock.
38
00:04:04,541 --> 00:04:08,250
Besides, you... you really don't much
look like a front man, you know?
39
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,000
Oh, yeah?
What's a front man look like?
40
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,416
Yeah?
41
00:04:11,583 --> 00:04:13,541
- Like me!
- Oh.
42
00:04:13,708 --> 00:04:17,458
Sorry, Neil. Nice try.
But it's my gig.
43
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,041
There's plenty more bands out there.
44
00:04:26,291 --> 00:04:28,250
See you on Top of the Pops, boys.
45
00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:39,041
- G's my favourite key.
- Oh, sorry, yeah.
46
00:04:39,208 --> 00:04:42,791
Oh, Jesus, lads. Make some space.
Mick Jagger didn't have to deal
47
00:04:42,958 --> 00:04:45,333
with a bass in his face
and a drum kit up his arse.
48
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,333
Made it myself.
I got the design from a mag.
49
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,000
What, was it a bird spotting mag,
was it?
50
00:04:49,166 --> 00:04:51,333
It looks like a duck
with a stick up its arse.
51
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,125
Do you really need a guitar as well?
You know you can't play it.
52
00:04:54,291 --> 00:04:55,750
You can talk.
53
00:04:55,916 --> 00:04:58,083
Jesus Christ, can nobody
play their instruments here?
54
00:04:58,250 --> 00:04:59,791
Will you relax, Larry?
We've got Dave.
55
00:04:59,958 --> 00:05:03,250
Give us a shot at yours, then.
I'll show you what it can do.
56
00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:05,333
- Yeah, OK. Here.
- Just for...
57
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,833
OK. One, two.
One, two. One, two.
58
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,958
OK, come on, guys. Come on.
Can we just play something together?
59
00:05:11,125 --> 00:05:13,708
- You know, at the same time, all right?
- OK, right. Whoa, whoa.
60
00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:15,999
What do we know?
61
00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:18,791
Um...
62
00:05:18,958 --> 00:05:20,208
Do we know anything?
David Bowie, yeah?
63
00:05:20,374 --> 00:05:21,666
- Yeah.
- Anyone heard the Ramones?
64
00:05:21,833 --> 00:05:23,291
- Yeah, was that...
- The Clash?
65
00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:26,291
Or how about Thin Lizzy?
Thin Lizzy?
66
00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:29,291
- Yeah, yeah.
- Sex Pistols and Dire Straits.
67
00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:31,833
OK, just forget I said that.
68
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,249
Right, lads, fuck it.
I've got it, right?
69
00:05:36,583 --> 00:05:39,583
That's Iggy. I know that.
That's Iggy. Let's do it, OK?
70
00:05:39,749 --> 00:05:42,541
One, two. One, two, three, four.
71
00:05:45,541 --> 00:05:48,541
# Gimme some skin
Try to give me some skin
72
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:50,958
Whoo!
73
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,374
Yeah!
74
00:05:53,708 --> 00:05:57,416
# My girlfriend, she got soul
Sucks all night on Lord Asshole
75
00:05:57,583 --> 00:06:01,583
# She puts me right up her ass
She shoots speed, she smokes grass
76
00:06:01,749 --> 00:06:03,874
# But I don't mind
77
00:06:04,041 --> 00:06:07,833
# If your mind is gone
If you want my body
78
00:06:07,999 --> 00:06:11,166
# Come on, baby
Now give me some skin #
79
00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:12,374
Two chips, please.
80
00:06:12,541 --> 00:06:14,416
Man, she was
definitely eyeing you up.
81
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,249
Every girl in school is acting like
you're made out of Mars bars.
82
00:06:17,416 --> 00:06:20,166
That's band life for you, man.
83
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:22,833
Well, dip me in rock and roll
and throw me to the girls.
84
00:06:26,249 --> 00:06:28,166
How's it going, anyway?
85
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:30,749
Apart from becoming
an overnight fanny magnet.
86
00:06:30,916 --> 00:06:34,374
It's going great, you know? I can
finally see it all coming together.
87
00:06:36,416 --> 00:06:38,333
We want Ivan.
88
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,333
What?
89
00:06:40,499 --> 00:06:43,124
We want your brother on rhythm guitar.
90
00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:45,583
Well, you can't have him.
On rhythm guitar or anywhere.
91
00:06:45,749 --> 00:06:48,499
He's with me. Ivan's the lead guitar
and I head up the band.
92
00:06:48,666 --> 00:06:49,999
- You've got a band?
- Yeah.
93
00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:51,541
What are you called?
94
00:06:51,708 --> 00:06:54,708
What are we called?
We're... we're called The, uh...
95
00:06:54,874 --> 00:06:57,624
...Undertakers.
- The, Uh, Undertakers?
96
00:06:57,791 --> 00:06:59,041
Yes.
97
00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:00,374
Well, good on yous.
98
00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:02,624
- You've certainly got the mouth for it.
- Fuck off.
99
00:07:02,791 --> 00:07:04,208
And I can see your face on the posters.
100
00:07:04,374 --> 00:07:07,583
Yeah, you too.
That's if the teeny boppers go in
101
00:07:07,749 --> 00:07:11,083
for that mop-haired, leaping gnome
sort of thing.
102
00:07:12,916 --> 00:07:15,041
Listen, so I just tell Ivan straight
he didn't get in, yeah?
103
00:07:15,208 --> 00:07:18,041
No, no. Leave it with me.
104
00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:19,249
He's my brother.
105
00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:23,333
You don't have to say a word, OK?
106
00:07:23,499 --> 00:07:25,458
Yeah.
107
00:07:25,624 --> 00:07:26,999
Yeah, sure.
108
00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:33,374
Listen...
109
00:07:33,541 --> 00:07:37,416
...we're doing a gig next month.
Maybe you boys should support us?
110
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,041
Maybe you should support us.
111
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:43,041
Maybe we should support each other.
Equal billing. Shoulder to shoulder.
112
00:07:43,208 --> 00:07:46,208
- Your band and mine, brother.
- Taking on the world together!
113
00:07:49,374 --> 00:07:52,124
So, have yous got a name yet?
What about the McCormick Brothers?
114
00:07:52,291 --> 00:07:55,041
That's not very punk, is it, Dad?
We'd sound like a folk band.
115
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,291
We'd have to grow beards
and live in a commune.
116
00:07:57,458 --> 00:07:59,333
We're called The Undertakers,
Mr. McCormick.
117
00:07:59,499 --> 00:08:02,166
Yeah, Frankie is Frankie Corpse.
Ivan, is Ivan Axe.
118
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:03,874
I'm Eric Cadaver.
119
00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:05,999
No. You're still Hopeless Eric.
120
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:08,499
And Kev over there is Kevin Carcass.
121
00:08:08,666 --> 00:08:11,458
I wanted to be called Jonny Durex,
but I was afraid it'd upset me ma.
122
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:14,416
She's gotta know what a Durex is, son,
or you wouldn't be here.
123
00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:16,624
- What's a Durex?
- I'll tell you later.
124
00:08:16,791 --> 00:08:17,916
Six years later.
125
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:20,166
You'll be needing
punk hair-dos.
126
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,249
I'll do them for you. No point
in wasting money at the barbers.
127
00:08:23,416 --> 00:08:26,708
Yeah, but we can do without
all that swearing... and the vomit.
128
00:08:27,624 --> 00:08:30,291
We've our first gig next week. It's with
Paul's lot, they're called The Hype.
129
00:08:30,458 --> 00:08:32,666
Oh, yeah, the band I almost joined.
130
00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:34,833
Next week,
we'll blow them off the stage.
131
00:08:34,999 --> 00:08:36,583
And then you'll be glad
you stuck with your big brother.
132
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:39,416
It's lovely to see
the two of you working together.
133
00:08:41,666 --> 00:08:43,166
It's just a different sound.
134
00:08:43,333 --> 00:08:47,041
Yeah, yeah.
It's a whole new quality, it's great.
135
00:08:50,957 --> 00:08:53,041
Hey, lads. What's going on?
136
00:08:53,207 --> 00:08:55,624
Oh, Paul was just talking to me
about second guitar.
137
00:08:55,791 --> 00:08:57,082
Was he?
138
00:08:58,166 --> 00:09:00,041
And what was he saying?
139
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,791
We decided we don't need one, so...
140
00:09:03,957 --> 00:09:05,957
- No hard feelings, hey, Ivan?
- No, you're grand.
141
00:09:06,124 --> 00:09:08,457
Course not.
He plays lead for The Undertakers now.
142
00:09:08,624 --> 00:09:10,749
Never mind second guitar.
143
00:09:10,957 --> 00:09:12,291
Why are we second billing?
144
00:09:12,457 --> 00:09:14,207
Hey? You said we'd be equal.
145
00:09:14,374 --> 00:09:16,916
Well, we're both on the banner.
The Hype and The Undertakers.
146
00:09:17,082 --> 00:09:19,416
- Are we?
- Well, look at it this way.
147
00:09:19,582 --> 00:09:22,124
It gives you a chance
to steal our thunder.
148
00:09:24,374 --> 00:09:26,957
- That's Neil McCormick?
- Yeah, that's him there.
149
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,791
OK, guys,
you're the support act, right?
150
00:09:28,957 --> 00:09:31,707
So, four songs, then clear the way
for the headliners.
151
00:09:31,916 --> 00:09:34,916
What? Who put him in charge?
Who's that? Who are you?
152
00:09:35,082 --> 00:09:36,582
Oh, this is Paul McGuinness,
our manager.
153
00:09:36,749 --> 00:09:39,416
Look, man, I've gotta go and do
a sound check here, yeah?
154
00:09:40,541 --> 00:09:43,082
One, two. One, two.
One, two. Check.
155
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,832
Yous look like you're bricking it.
156
00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:48,457
- All right, Plugger?
- Fifty P a pop, right?
157
00:09:48,666 --> 00:09:51,749
Purple ones are uppers.
Green ones are downers.
158
00:09:51,916 --> 00:09:53,624
I don't know
what the white ones are for,
159
00:09:53,832 --> 00:09:55,499
but you shouldn't take them
with alcohol.
160
00:09:55,707 --> 00:09:57,624
What are you, Plugger?
Their dealer?
161
00:09:57,832 --> 00:10:00,749
- I just get paid to hump the gear.
- One, two. One, two. One, two.
162
00:10:00,957 --> 00:10:04,374
- Well, a manager and a roadie!
- Check. One, two.
163
00:10:04,582 --> 00:10:07,999
One, two. One, two.
One, two. Perfect.
164
00:10:10,999 --> 00:10:13,832
# Oh!
165
00:10:15,541 --> 00:10:18,916
# Why don't you ask them
166
00:10:19,124 --> 00:10:21,416
# What they expect from you?
167
00:10:22,499 --> 00:10:25,582
# Why don't you tell them
168
00:10:25,749 --> 00:10:27,957
# What you are gonna do
169
00:10:28,916 --> 00:10:32,957
# You get so lonely
170
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,582
# Maybe it's better that way
171
00:10:35,791 --> 00:10:38,332
# It ain't you only
172
00:10:39,874 --> 00:10:43,207
# You got something to say
173
00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:46,291
# Do anything you wanna do
174
00:10:48,791 --> 00:10:50,166
# Come on
175
00:10:50,374 --> 00:10:53,041
# Do anything you wanna do #
176
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,749
# And I'm promising nothing
177
00:11:08,916 --> 00:11:12,166
# I'm just living a smile
178
00:11:12,374 --> 00:11:14,666
# I casually arrange it
179
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:17,624
# I walk tall
Walk in the wild wind
180
00:11:17,791 --> 00:11:20,249
# I live an image of plastic and gold
181
00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:23,832
# Some say maybe tomorrow
182
00:11:23,999 --> 00:11:27,249
# A resurrection, hello
I know, know, know
183
00:11:27,457 --> 00:11:31,499
# Well, I know, know, know
Well, I know, know, know
184
00:11:34,332 --> 00:11:37,832
They're sounding tight, man.
Their drummer can actually drum.
185
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:39,832
- They're even playing their own stuff.
- Huh?
186
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:41,707
I said they're playing their own stuff.
187
00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:43,291
Well, we can write our own songs too.
188
00:11:43,457 --> 00:11:46,166
Plus, we'll have something
that they'll never have.
189
00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:48,541
Brotherhood.
Neil and Ivan McCormick.
190
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:53,874
Well, Ivan and Neil. It's alphabetical
like Lennon and McCartney.
191
00:11:54,082 --> 00:11:55,624
Bollocks.
192
00:11:55,791 --> 00:11:58,916
- I'm older, I'm going first.
- Whoo!
193
00:12:04,749 --> 00:12:06,874
# Oh!
194
00:12:07,082 --> 00:12:11,541
# I need something
195
00:12:11,707 --> 00:12:15,082
# I need someone
196
00:12:15,249 --> 00:12:18,832
# I've got you
197
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,582
# Street mission
198
00:12:21,749 --> 00:12:24,999
# Street mission
199
00:12:25,165 --> 00:12:28,124
# Street mission #
200
00:12:30,749 --> 00:12:33,124
Good night!
201
00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:47,665
You big riot, ya.
202
00:12:47,832 --> 00:12:50,874
Neil McCormick here with home-grown
rock sensations The Hype,
203
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,874
still sweaty from
a blistering live show.
204
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:57,540
So, boys, tell us. Where do you see
The Hype in say five years time?
205
00:12:57,707 --> 00:13:00,249
Five years?
The Hype'll be history.
206
00:13:00,415 --> 00:13:01,957
- What?
- What?
207
00:13:02,124 --> 00:13:03,249
What?
208
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:04,957
Why? You boys
were fucking amazing tonight.
209
00:13:05,124 --> 00:13:07,165
You said that this was what
you wanted to do forever, like.
210
00:13:07,332 --> 00:13:08,874
- Yeah.
- It is.
211
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,165
So we're changing our names
to something good.
212
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,665
Oh?
213
00:13:14,290 --> 00:13:16,499
You're looking at U2.
214
00:13:18,874 --> 00:13:20,499
U2?
215
00:13:20,665 --> 00:13:22,249
U2?
216
00:13:24,415 --> 00:13:26,999
That is so...
217
00:13:27,165 --> 00:13:28,540
...shite!
218
00:13:31,790 --> 00:13:33,540
Thank you, Neil.
I didn't want to say it.
219
00:13:33,707 --> 00:13:35,040
It sounds like a bleeding submarine.
220
00:13:35,207 --> 00:13:37,165
- And we're changing our names.
- What?
221
00:13:37,332 --> 00:13:39,332
Dave wants to be known as The Edge.
222
00:13:39,499 --> 00:13:41,999
What, like, Edge Evans or Dave Edge?
223
00:13:42,165 --> 00:13:43,874
Just The Edge.
224
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,249
The edge of what?
225
00:13:45,415 --> 00:13:48,332
And from now on, he's Bono.
226
00:13:49,249 --> 00:13:50,415
- Bono?
- Bono!
227
00:13:50,582 --> 00:13:51,832
Bono?
228
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:55,915
Yeah, yeah, it's good, it's good.
I could be... Biro.
229
00:13:56,082 --> 00:13:59,457
- I could be The Hedge.
- Stop taking the piss.
230
00:13:59,624 --> 00:14:02,457
At least I'm not the one jumping
up and down on stage wearing these.
231
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:05,874
- Would you look at the state of him?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
232
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,874
You fucking poser.
233
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,374
He likes 'em. He likes 'em.
234
00:14:30,332 --> 00:14:33,499
# Dreams are making a mess of me
235
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:37,624
# They say I'm like a ghost
but they don't understand
236
00:14:37,790 --> 00:14:40,957
# I'm the haunted not the haunting
237
00:14:41,124 --> 00:14:42,374
# I need to get some peace
238
00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:45,540
# I'm walking in my sleep #
239
00:14:45,707 --> 00:14:48,124
If I'm honest, Neil, I don't get
half the stuff you sing about.
240
00:14:48,290 --> 00:14:49,832
Your lyrics are a bit weird, Neil.
241
00:14:49,999 --> 00:14:51,540
Well, next you'll be telling me
that Bob Dylan's weird.
242
00:14:51,707 --> 00:14:54,499
Is Bob Dylan weird, is he?
Or Leonard Cohen?
243
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,290
- Yeah.
- Yeah, very weird.
244
00:15:03,915 --> 00:15:08,540
Ah, nice of you to swing by.
Who needs a lead guitar anyway?
245
00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,832
Check this out.
246
00:15:10,999 --> 00:15:13,165
- What the fuck?
- Look at it.
247
00:15:13,332 --> 00:15:15,040
- It's really real.
- Just watch the corners.
248
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:16,332
It's really happening for the boys.
249
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:19,249
- Oh, my God.
- Take it easy with it.
250
00:15:19,415 --> 00:15:22,165
Yeah, but Rolling Stone magazine
reckons it's pretty mediocre.
251
00:15:22,332 --> 00:15:24,415
Oh, man. This could have been
my first album.
252
00:15:24,582 --> 00:15:26,374
In your dreams, man.
253
00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:27,915
No, I was nearly in the band.
254
00:15:28,082 --> 00:15:29,874
No, you weren't.
You stood in Larry's kitchen once.
255
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,332
That's his great claim to fame.
256
00:15:31,499 --> 00:15:34,249
Well, at least I auditioned for them,
Neil. That's more than you ever did.
257
00:15:34,415 --> 00:15:35,957
Where'd you get this anyway?
258
00:15:36,124 --> 00:15:38,290
- Oh, I bumped into Bono.
- What?
259
00:15:38,457 --> 00:15:40,374
Down at The Vinyl Frontier.
260
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,290
- I played him our demo.
- Great.
261
00:15:42,457 --> 00:15:45,082
So now he'll pinch all my lyrics
for his next album, will he?
262
00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:46,540
He reckons he can get us signed.
263
00:15:46,707 --> 00:15:48,748
- Signed?
- Signed, signed.
264
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:50,123
- What?
- Yes!
265
00:15:50,290 --> 00:15:51,582
We can get out of
this bleeding garage, boys.
266
00:15:51,748 --> 00:15:53,665
And you wanna follow
in their footsteps?
267
00:15:53,832 --> 00:15:57,373
No. We are not playing
catch up with U2.
268
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,915
Not now. Not ever.
269
00:16:00,082 --> 00:16:03,165
We'll do this our own way.
And we will get our own deal.
270
00:16:03,332 --> 00:16:06,332
Well, hang on. I don't see
that happening here, Neil.
271
00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:08,165
Yeah, well, I can make it happen.
272
00:16:08,332 --> 00:16:10,957
Yeah, when?
Where are you going?
273
00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:13,957
I just told you.
To make it happen.
274
00:16:17,582 --> 00:16:18,707
Jesus.
275
00:16:35,707 --> 00:16:38,915
Jesus, it's the U2 fucking fanzine
in full effect.
276
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:42,123
- Do you want a Bono pin-badge?
- Do I bollocks?
277
00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:45,373
Well, would you
look at that, Maureen?
278
00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:48,290
A rare sighting of our
most elusive scribe, hmm?
279
00:16:48,457 --> 00:16:50,123
How's the work allergy?
280
00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:52,540
Hey, Niall, don't come all
proddy work ethic with me.
281
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,248
I'm not the one
pretending to be disabled.
282
00:16:54,415 --> 00:16:57,790
Hey. The insurance pay-out
on this little baby pays your wages.
283
00:16:57,957 --> 00:17:00,748
So where have you been, Lord Byron?
Fannying about penning poetry again?
284
00:17:00,915 --> 00:17:04,790
Actually, I've been in the studio,
yeah? Laying down some new tracks.
285
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,957
Besides, I've already filed
my article for this week.
286
00:17:07,123 --> 00:17:08,623
Yeah, but it was meant for last week.
287
00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:10,748
Lucky you can write,
that's all I can say, hmm?
288
00:17:10,915 --> 00:17:13,790
"In his search for the singular identity
in the landscape of the bland,
289
00:17:13,957 --> 00:17:16,040
Adam Ant has somehow evolved
into a post-punk,
290
00:17:16,207 --> 00:17:18,082
Dick Turpin with a pirate fetish".
291
00:17:18,248 --> 00:17:20,207
I like that.
"Landscape of the bland".
292
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,207
Yeah, well, I thought it preferable
to "a sea of shit".
293
00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:23,498
Are you giving it the cover?
294
00:17:23,665 --> 00:17:26,165
No, I think Ireland's hottest band
just pushed it out.
295
00:17:26,332 --> 00:17:27,915
What? Gary's U2 piece?
296
00:17:28,082 --> 00:17:30,540
It's only Gary's U2 piece
'cause you turned it down.
297
00:17:30,707 --> 00:17:31,915
You picky bastard.
298
00:17:32,082 --> 00:17:33,832
Thanks, I am standing right here,
you know?
299
00:17:33,998 --> 00:17:35,457
Yeah, and I didn't want
to give it to a rookie.
300
00:17:35,623 --> 00:17:38,540
- Yeah.
- Well, it's weird, but I...
301
00:17:39,748 --> 00:17:41,207
It's weird,
but I didn't really much fancy
302
00:17:41,373 --> 00:17:44,373
talking to my old school mates about
how brilliantly amazing they are
303
00:17:44,540 --> 00:17:46,373
and how much hot sex they're getting,
you know?
304
00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:48,123
Yeah, there's a little bit more to it
than that.
305
00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:51,248
Yeah, I bet. "U2 are brill.
And hasn't Bono got lovely hair.
306
00:17:51,415 --> 00:17:52,707
And he's dead good at singing
and that".
307
00:17:52,873 --> 00:17:55,748
You're just jealous 'cause no one
writes about your poxy band.
308
00:17:55,915 --> 00:17:57,748
Oh, really?
309
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:05,415
Ah, Jesus.
Neil, not more fucking demo tapes.
310
00:18:05,582 --> 00:18:08,540
You've already carpet-bombed
every poor bugger in my address book.
311
00:18:08,707 --> 00:18:11,540
That's not true, actually.
I've only gone up to P.
312
00:18:11,707 --> 00:18:13,373
Look, look.
313
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:17,457
I know the owner of a place in town,
and I could get you a slot if...
314
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:21,540
If you cover the Horse Slips gig for me.
Quid pro quo.
315
00:18:21,707 --> 00:18:24,540
No way. Their singer still wants to
murder me after that last piece I wrote.
316
00:18:26,665 --> 00:18:28,165
Where's the venue?
317
00:18:28,332 --> 00:18:30,707
- McGarrety's.
- Fuck off!
318
00:18:30,873 --> 00:18:32,873
- Fuck off!
- I hope you said yes.
319
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,082
Of course I said yes, it's McGarrety's.
Legends are born in the place.
320
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:38,040
- When is this?
- Next Saturday.
321
00:18:38,207 --> 00:18:40,957
Hold on. That's the day
the Pope is in town.
322
00:18:41,123 --> 00:18:42,957
- I'm sorry?
- The Pope?
323
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,873
Wears a big popey hat.
Drives a popemobile. He's the Pope.
324
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,582
Who's gonna go and see the Pope?
It's only the Pope.
325
00:18:47,748 --> 00:18:50,248
- It's not like it's anyone good.
- I'm going.
326
00:18:50,415 --> 00:18:52,332
I'm an altar boy.
327
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:53,873
Fuck off!
328
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,540
Eric, who do you wanna be
in ten years time, eh?
329
00:18:57,707 --> 00:19:00,998
Keith Moon? Rocking out
with the biggest band in the world?
330
00:19:01,165 --> 00:19:04,707
Neck deep in girls and booze
and drugs, yeah?
331
00:19:04,873 --> 00:19:07,040
Or a piss-poor,
30 year old altar boy,
332
00:19:07,207 --> 00:19:09,665
who sits in at the weekend
and pulls his winky?
333
00:19:09,832 --> 00:19:12,165
Didn't Keith Moon die?
334
00:19:12,332 --> 00:19:14,498
Listen, Eric...
335
00:19:14,665 --> 00:19:19,081
I am asking you to make a choice.
336
00:19:19,248 --> 00:19:21,998
It's me or God.
337
00:19:39,748 --> 00:19:42,165
I can't believe the Pope
fucked our band.
338
00:19:42,331 --> 00:19:45,665
I never liked him. He has no
appreciation of the live music scene.
339
00:19:45,831 --> 00:19:47,540
And not a single person here.
340
00:19:47,706 --> 00:19:50,206
Bugger me. The McCormick's?
341
00:19:50,373 --> 00:19:51,956
Yous great pair of arse bandits.
342
00:19:52,123 --> 00:19:53,165
What are you doing here, Plugger?
343
00:19:53,331 --> 00:19:56,081
Me boss, Danny Machin,
runs security here.
344
00:19:56,248 --> 00:19:58,373
I keep the eejits in line.
345
00:19:58,540 --> 00:20:01,081
Well, when they show up I do.
346
00:20:01,248 --> 00:20:03,706
What? Danny Machin the criminal?
347
00:20:03,873 --> 00:20:05,498
He prefers enpreteneur.
348
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:09,165
He doesn't mind if I deal a bit of gear
on the side, you know?
349
00:20:09,331 --> 00:20:12,373
So, if you want anything.
Coke, acid, weed, I'm your man.
350
00:20:12,540 --> 00:20:14,540
No, you're all right, Plugger, but...
351
00:20:14,706 --> 00:20:16,373
It's good to see you've
done well for yourself.
352
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:20,040
And those tossers at Mount Temple
said I'd never amount to shite.
353
00:20:20,206 --> 00:20:22,081
What about Bono and the lads, yeah?
354
00:20:22,248 --> 00:20:24,040
- Away to the big time.
- Yeah.
355
00:20:24,206 --> 00:20:27,790
We should have stuck with them,
we'd be getting a ride every night.
356
00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:30,331
Hey.
357
00:20:30,498 --> 00:20:32,498
Hasn't your man, Machin,
got a venue or two of his own?
358
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:35,248
No, Neil.
He'll cut off our balls.
359
00:20:35,415 --> 00:20:37,373
Could you put in
a word for us, Plugger?
360
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,456
You know, maybe get us a gig
for old time's sake?
361
00:20:39,623 --> 00:20:40,665
Sure.
362
00:20:40,831 --> 00:20:43,665
Leave it with me, lads.
I know just the place.
363
00:20:55,581 --> 00:20:58,623
I don't like this. I've never been
this far out of Dublin before.
364
00:21:05,540 --> 00:21:09,040
# Sleep keeps playing tricks on me
365
00:21:09,206 --> 00:21:12,956
# Dragging out the day
while I'm waiting for the night
366
00:21:13,123 --> 00:21:16,248
# Darkness got a fix on me
367
00:21:16,415 --> 00:21:19,665
# Playing with the silence
I'm trying to keep it quiet
368
00:21:19,831 --> 00:21:23,706
# Shake your dreams from your hair
369
00:21:23,873 --> 00:21:27,331
# When the break up comes
you're going to be nowhere
370
00:21:27,498 --> 00:21:30,540
# And I'll meet you there
371
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:35,540
# When the circle's complete
I'll take you walking in my sleep
372
00:21:37,290 --> 00:21:38,873
# In my sleep
373
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,665
- # I'm walking in my sleep
- # Walking in my sleep
374
00:21:44,165 --> 00:21:46,040
- # I'm walking in my sleep
- # Walking in my sleep
375
00:21:48,081 --> 00:21:49,623
# Wake up #
376
00:21:52,665 --> 00:21:54,081
Ow!
377
00:21:59,915 --> 00:22:01,498
- Thank you.
- Thanks very much.
378
00:22:02,373 --> 00:22:06,206
What a crowd.
You guys were great.
379
00:22:06,415 --> 00:22:08,748
God almighty. Oh.
380
00:22:08,915 --> 00:22:10,498
How are you?
Can I have a whiskey, please?
381
00:22:10,706 --> 00:22:11,998
- Whiskey. Thanks.
- Ah!
382
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,081
Man, what a buzz.
That was great.
383
00:22:15,248 --> 00:22:17,748
That was shite.
We died on our arses up there.
384
00:22:17,956 --> 00:22:20,415
Maybe you would have noticed if you
weren't having some kind of fit.
385
00:22:20,623 --> 00:22:22,998
- What was that?
- My moves.
386
00:22:23,206 --> 00:22:25,081
Plus I got us our first headline gig.
387
00:22:25,290 --> 00:22:27,956
Yeah, in an illegal titty bar,
in the arse end of nowhere,
388
00:22:28,165 --> 00:22:29,456
run by a known killer.
389
00:22:29,665 --> 00:22:31,790
This is Mr. Machin, lads.
390
00:22:37,248 --> 00:22:38,706
What'd you think, Mr. Machin?
391
00:22:38,915 --> 00:22:42,956
Godless, mindless and tuneless.
392
00:22:43,164 --> 00:22:45,581
Still, you had the girls going.
393
00:22:45,789 --> 00:22:48,373
I'm surprised you could hear anything
at all. The sound is shite in here.
394
00:22:48,581 --> 00:22:51,581
You really want to get yourself a better
system if you want decent bands to play.
395
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:57,039
Yeah, well, when I find a decent band,
maybe I will.
396
00:22:57,248 --> 00:22:59,456
Neil, we'll go. Shall we?
397
00:23:01,873 --> 00:23:05,039
Come upstairs if you want your cut.
Just the cocky fucker.
398
00:23:05,206 --> 00:23:07,498
The skinny one with the stupid haircut
can piss off.
399
00:23:12,998 --> 00:23:14,623
He means you, Ivan.
400
00:23:16,789 --> 00:23:18,498
Stay here.
401
00:23:24,123 --> 00:23:26,164
- Hi.
- How's it heading? How're you going?
402
00:23:26,373 --> 00:23:27,998
Fine.
403
00:23:36,998 --> 00:23:38,789
You don't take your baths in here,
do you?
404
00:23:38,998 --> 00:23:41,456
No. That's for people who annoy me.
405
00:23:42,831 --> 00:23:45,914
You know, not many people talk to me
like you did back there.
406
00:23:46,081 --> 00:23:49,581
There's always been that connection,
between gangsters and celebrities.
407
00:23:49,748 --> 00:23:50,914
Oh, you're a gangster, are you?
408
00:23:51,081 --> 00:23:53,539
'Cause you're sure not
a fucking celebrity.
409
00:23:56,706 --> 00:23:58,248
It's only a matter of time.
410
00:24:00,248 --> 00:24:01,873
I don't suppose you know anyone
411
00:24:02,039 --> 00:24:04,331
looking to invest in
an incredible new band?
412
00:24:04,498 --> 00:24:07,206
Why, do you know
an incredible new band?
413
00:24:07,373 --> 00:24:10,373
Come on, you saw us play.
We just had the wrong crowd tonight.
414
00:24:10,581 --> 00:24:12,789
But with the right crowd
and the right backer we can...
415
00:24:12,998 --> 00:24:16,248
You know, when my girls
go on their break,
416
00:24:16,414 --> 00:24:20,789
they usually duck out the back
for a fag and a go at the crossword.
417
00:24:20,998 --> 00:24:23,623
Tonight, they were clocking you.
418
00:24:23,789 --> 00:24:27,206
- Tea, Plug.
- Well, there you go.
419
00:24:27,373 --> 00:24:28,914
There's money to be made in music.
420
00:24:29,081 --> 00:24:32,248
Money that doesn't involve
someone getting buried.
421
00:24:34,123 --> 00:24:36,164
I mean, look at U2.
422
00:24:36,331 --> 00:24:38,998
I bet you wish you'd got in there before
the lawyers had them all sewn up,
423
00:24:39,164 --> 00:24:41,373
and we're gonna be bigger than them.
424
00:24:44,539 --> 00:24:47,664
Yeah, you're better looking than Bono.
I'll give you that.
425
00:24:47,831 --> 00:24:49,373
Thanks.
426
00:24:49,539 --> 00:24:53,998
But the... the question is,
do you want in?
427
00:24:54,164 --> 00:24:57,331
- Five grand.
- Ten would be more realistic.
428
00:24:57,498 --> 00:25:00,289
I could do ten.
429
00:25:00,456 --> 00:25:03,164
My ten buys me twenty-five per cent.
430
00:25:03,956 --> 00:25:06,248
You don't get twenty-five per cent
of me that easy.
431
00:25:06,456 --> 00:25:08,664
Is this my negotiating face?
432
00:25:08,831 --> 00:25:11,456
OK, ten.
And a ticket to London.
433
00:25:11,623 --> 00:25:15,956
I'll give you two tickets. One for you
and one for the skinny fucker.
434
00:25:16,123 --> 00:25:19,248
And remember.
If you fuck with me...
435
00:25:21,623 --> 00:25:23,289
...I will kill you.
436
00:25:26,664 --> 00:25:28,956
OK, everyone your attention, please.
Wake up!
437
00:25:29,123 --> 00:25:31,248
I've an important announcement
to make.
438
00:25:31,414 --> 00:25:33,331
I am quitting.
439
00:25:35,373 --> 00:25:38,206
I'm off to London
to become world famous.
440
00:25:38,373 --> 00:25:40,498
Oh.
441
00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:43,456
Oh, come on now.
442
00:25:43,623 --> 00:25:45,706
Don't cry.
443
00:25:45,873 --> 00:25:48,331
She's not crying over you,
you great fucking eejit.
444
00:25:51,581 --> 00:25:52,748
What?
445
00:25:53,789 --> 00:25:56,039
What's happened?
Who's done this?
446
00:25:56,206 --> 00:25:59,039
Some sad... loner psycho.
447
00:25:59,789 --> 00:26:03,164
That's how
you become famous fast, hmm?
448
00:26:03,331 --> 00:26:05,706
Pull a trigger.
449
00:26:11,289 --> 00:26:13,914
Remember listening to dad's
scratchy old copy of Abbey Road?
450
00:26:14,081 --> 00:26:15,456
Yeah.
451
00:26:15,622 --> 00:26:17,831
- First songs you ever learnt to play.
- Yeah.
452
00:26:20,081 --> 00:26:22,331
It just makes you wanna pack it all in.
453
00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:26,914
No. It makes you realise
how short life is.
454
00:26:27,081 --> 00:26:29,997
I'm sick of waiting around
for shit to happen. I just...
455
00:26:30,831 --> 00:26:32,581
It won't unless we make it.
456
00:26:34,414 --> 00:26:35,997
How?
457
00:26:36,164 --> 00:26:37,622
We get out.
458
00:26:38,789 --> 00:26:40,039
We move to London.
459
00:26:40,206 --> 00:26:41,956
What?
460
00:26:42,122 --> 00:26:44,247
Where did all this come from, Neil?
461
00:26:44,414 --> 00:26:45,706
Give me one good reason why not?
462
00:26:45,872 --> 00:26:46,997
Because we're broke.
463
00:26:47,164 --> 00:26:50,747
I've enough to cover us until we're
in London, signed and earning.
464
00:26:50,914 --> 00:26:52,831
I filed a lot of articles
with Hot Press.
465
00:26:52,997 --> 00:26:55,247
OK, well. I've got a girlfriend.
466
00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:57,039
Well, they do have girls in London.
467
00:26:57,206 --> 00:26:59,664
- Apparently.
- OK, look.
468
00:26:59,831 --> 00:27:02,581
What about Bono's offer of a deal?
469
00:27:02,747 --> 00:27:04,289
Are you just gonna
walk away from that?
470
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,289
If Bono thinks we're great,
we don't need him.
471
00:27:06,456 --> 00:27:08,581
Oh, that makes loads of sense, Neil.
472
00:27:08,747 --> 00:27:11,664
We go straight to the source.
To the majors. Atlantic. Columbia.
473
00:27:11,831 --> 00:27:13,664
The McCormick brothers together.
474
00:27:13,831 --> 00:27:16,664
Yeah, just... just fucking
hang on here a moment.
475
00:27:16,831 --> 00:27:20,497
Look, you're asking me to
rip all this up and start again
476
00:27:20,664 --> 00:27:24,331
just 'cause you say so,
when, you know, we're doing OK here.
477
00:27:24,497 --> 00:27:26,206
- OK? OK, shite.
- Yeah.
478
00:27:26,372 --> 00:27:28,039
There's one for the tombstone,
isn't there?
479
00:27:28,206 --> 00:27:29,872
"Here lies Ivan, he was OK".
480
00:27:30,039 --> 00:27:34,247
If you stay here, you'll spend the
rest of your life wondering what if?
481
00:27:35,622 --> 00:27:39,789
And then, you will always be
a ninety-nine per center.
482
00:27:41,622 --> 00:27:42,831
What?
483
00:27:42,997 --> 00:27:45,414
What the fuck is that?
You just made that up.
484
00:27:45,581 --> 00:27:46,622
No.
485
00:27:46,789 --> 00:27:49,164
The bands who never make it.
The rock and roll graveyard.
486
00:27:49,331 --> 00:27:51,581
Either you break on through
or you add your bones to the pile.
487
00:27:51,747 --> 00:27:55,497
Yes, I am asking you to rip it all up
and start again.
488
00:27:56,664 --> 00:27:58,622
Trust me, kid.
489
00:27:58,789 --> 00:28:01,122
The world doesn't know it yet...
490
00:28:01,872 --> 00:28:03,831
...but the next big thing
491
00:28:03,997 --> 00:28:07,081
is lurking in an Irish backwater.
492
00:28:23,831 --> 00:28:26,747
- Hey, here it is. Come on.
- OK, OK.
493
00:28:31,456 --> 00:28:32,956
- Here.
- Hey, how's the hair?
494
00:28:33,122 --> 00:28:35,747
Yeah. Yeah, cool.
495
00:28:35,914 --> 00:28:39,497
# But some kind of loving
lasts forever
496
00:28:39,664 --> 00:28:43,247
- # Some kind of loving
- # Turns to some kind of hatred
497
00:28:43,414 --> 00:28:47,289
- # Some kind of loving
- # It gets you sooner or later
498
00:28:47,456 --> 00:28:52,622
- # Some kind of loving
- # Locks your heart behind a brick wall
499
00:28:52,789 --> 00:28:56,456
- # Some kind of loving #
- # Is no kind of love at all #
500
00:28:56,622 --> 00:28:59,289
See, pop songs are usually about
501
00:28:59,456 --> 00:29:02,289
fantasising about having sex
with hot women,
502
00:29:02,456 --> 00:29:04,456
actually having sex with hot women,
503
00:29:04,622 --> 00:29:08,414
or reminiscing about having sex
with hot women.
504
00:29:09,872 --> 00:29:12,456
This one appears to be about rape.
505
00:29:15,914 --> 00:29:17,706
On one level, yes.
506
00:29:17,872 --> 00:29:21,372
But on another,
it's about existential angst.
507
00:29:21,539 --> 00:29:25,331
Mmm. Right, well, either way
that's a pretty hard sell
508
00:29:25,497 --> 00:29:28,039
for Top of the Pops, but I'm sure
we can sort that out later.
509
00:29:28,206 --> 00:29:30,872
So, you do want to sign us, then?
Do you?
510
00:29:31,039 --> 00:29:32,706
Well, that depends.
511
00:29:32,872 --> 00:29:34,956
See, the music industry
is a very fickle business.
512
00:29:35,122 --> 00:29:37,706
It's like a harem filled
with beautiful people
513
00:29:37,872 --> 00:29:40,039
all fucking each other's brains out.
514
00:29:40,206 --> 00:29:44,080
But outside there are thousands
of ugly, talentless lepers
515
00:29:44,247 --> 00:29:47,330
all clawing their way in,
trying to get a piece of the action.
516
00:29:49,330 --> 00:29:51,080
Which one are you?
517
00:29:51,247 --> 00:29:52,872
Um...
518
00:29:53,039 --> 00:29:55,622
The beautiful people.
519
00:29:57,122 --> 00:29:59,247
Do you want in to the harem?
520
00:29:59,414 --> 00:30:01,914
Yes, please.
Yes, I do. I do.
521
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,747
Well, OK then.
522
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,205
Yes. Yes. Yes.
523
00:30:12,372 --> 00:30:14,497
And try and write a song
that doesn't have kids
524
00:30:14,664 --> 00:30:16,622
reaching for their dictionaries.
525
00:30:17,789 --> 00:30:20,497
And also, steer clear
of the whole rape area.
526
00:30:20,664 --> 00:30:23,039
It's a bad area.
527
00:30:23,205 --> 00:30:25,705
And... and The McCormick Brothers.
Change your name.
528
00:30:25,872 --> 00:30:28,330
You sound like a fucking folk act.
Now get out.
529
00:30:28,497 --> 00:30:31,247
Arrange an appointment. We'll come
back and squiggle a contract next time.
530
00:30:31,414 --> 00:30:34,080
Go!
531
00:30:36,247 --> 00:30:38,039
What?!
532
00:30:39,539 --> 00:30:42,955
Well... I did say it would
be easy in London.
533
00:30:43,122 --> 00:30:46,539
That wasn't easy,
that was a big fat piece of easy...
534
00:30:46,705 --> 00:30:48,747
peasy fucking lemon squeezy cake,
535
00:30:48,914 --> 00:30:51,705
given away free,
with today's Easy Times.
536
00:30:52,914 --> 00:30:56,414
Come here, you beauty!
We just got signed.
537
00:30:56,580 --> 00:30:58,789
- We got signed.
- Yes!
538
00:31:01,872 --> 00:31:04,872
You'll need to know my rules,
of course.
539
00:31:05,039 --> 00:31:06,539
No drugs.
540
00:31:06,705 --> 00:31:10,247
Unless, of course, shared with
the landlord to supplement the rent.
541
00:31:11,455 --> 00:31:12,914
Mmm.
542
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,039
And no outlawed sexual practices.
543
00:31:16,205 --> 00:31:18,164
Unless ditto the above.
544
00:31:26,289 --> 00:31:29,539
- Wow.
- Yeah, cosy.
545
00:31:29,705 --> 00:31:31,455
Perfect for band practise though.
546
00:31:31,622 --> 00:31:34,539
Ah. Budding rock stars.
I might have known.
547
00:31:35,164 --> 00:31:37,872
I've shot a lot of pretty boys like you.
548
00:31:38,039 --> 00:31:39,455
Is that legal in this country?
549
00:31:39,622 --> 00:31:42,872
In between my fashion work.
550
00:31:43,039 --> 00:31:46,789
- Oh, you're a photographer.
- Was. Now I'm just growing old.
551
00:31:46,955 --> 00:31:50,414
Disgracefully.
Pickling myself for posterity.
552
00:31:50,580 --> 00:31:54,122
One party at a time. Oh, if you do
take the place, by the way,
553
00:31:54,289 --> 00:31:56,747
you'll have to get used to
my parties.
554
00:31:59,205 --> 00:32:00,539
Tell me...
555
00:32:00,705 --> 00:32:02,580
...how long have you two
been together?
556
00:32:02,747 --> 00:32:04,914
Well, they've been together
for about four years, now.
557
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,455
- They formed at school, so...
- Not U2, you idiot.
558
00:32:08,622 --> 00:32:10,205
Us two. We...
559
00:32:10,372 --> 00:32:13,330
We've... we've been together
since we were boys, Karl.
560
00:32:13,497 --> 00:32:16,205
- Yeah, that is a long time.
- Yeah, well, obviously. We are...
561
00:32:16,372 --> 00:32:19,455
Ivan? Band meeting. Now.
562
00:32:24,039 --> 00:32:26,289
I want it, it's incredible.
Think what we could do with this place.
563
00:32:26,455 --> 00:32:28,580
There's no furniture.
It's a fucking factory.
564
00:32:28,747 --> 00:32:32,664
Plus, I think he's weird. Plus, I think
he wants to stick his thing in me.
565
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,289
- Exactly.
- What?
566
00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:38,414
He is looking for
a certain type of tenant.
567
00:32:38,580 --> 00:32:40,247
I can feel a deal here.
All we have to do...
568
00:32:40,414 --> 00:32:43,622
Is what? Is be his rent boy,
and he'll drop the rent? No, Neil.
569
00:32:43,789 --> 00:32:45,830
Seriously, if you do this,
I'm off back to Ireland.
570
00:32:45,997 --> 00:32:47,664
OK, OK, OK, OK.
571
00:32:47,830 --> 00:32:49,830
- I'll tell him. I will tell him.
- OK, do.
572
00:32:50,997 --> 00:32:52,039
Hi, Karl!
573
00:32:52,205 --> 00:32:53,372
Oh, hi, Gloria.
574
00:32:57,497 --> 00:32:59,747
That's Gloria. Lives next door.
575
00:32:59,914 --> 00:33:02,789
- We'll take it.
- Oh.
576
00:33:13,330 --> 00:33:15,205
Boys, boys.
577
00:33:15,372 --> 00:33:16,997
Oh, well, look at you.
578
00:33:17,163 --> 00:33:20,663
Somebody's been raiding
Spandau Ballet's closet, haven't they?
579
00:33:20,830 --> 00:33:23,413
- Gloria?
- Hi, Karl.
580
00:33:23,580 --> 00:33:25,413
Come and meet your neighbours.
581
00:33:25,580 --> 00:33:27,747
- Hello, neighbours.
- Oh, you're American.
582
00:33:27,913 --> 00:33:29,580
How did you guess?
Was it my accent?
583
00:33:29,747 --> 00:33:33,122
Sorry, this is Ivan. Sometimes
he acts like he lives in a field.
584
00:33:33,288 --> 00:33:37,872
Oh, and this is Neil. Sometimes
he acts like a massive nobhead.
585
00:33:38,038 --> 00:33:39,413
Gloria used to be in your game.
586
00:33:39,580 --> 00:33:42,997
- That's the original punk rocker.
- Cool.
587
00:33:43,163 --> 00:33:44,622
- So you boys are in a band?
- Yeah.
588
00:33:44,788 --> 00:33:47,955
Oh, good. I guess that would
explain the costumes.
589
00:33:49,288 --> 00:33:52,580
- These aren't costumes.
- No, we always dress like this.
590
00:33:52,747 --> 00:33:55,747
Hey, Ivan. Why don't you go
and get us some beers?
591
00:33:55,913 --> 00:33:57,122
Yes. Come along, tiger.
592
00:33:57,288 --> 00:34:00,122
Let's get you socially lubricated.
593
00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:02,122
Yeah, go on, tiger.
594
00:34:03,788 --> 00:34:07,122
- Hi, guys. I want you to meet Ivan.
- Hiya, girls. How's it going?
595
00:34:07,288 --> 00:34:09,205
Ivan, never mind the girls.
Meet the boys.
596
00:34:09,372 --> 00:34:11,747
This is Mervin and Joshua and Raphael.
597
00:34:11,913 --> 00:34:14,122
Oh, you've met him before.
Gwen, love.
598
00:34:15,205 --> 00:34:16,747
So, you're a punk?
599
00:34:16,913 --> 00:34:18,205
Am I?
600
00:34:18,372 --> 00:34:20,163
Well, that's what Karl said.
601
00:34:20,330 --> 00:34:23,413
Plus, before,
I saw your... t-shirt.
602
00:34:23,580 --> 00:34:28,122
Not now, before. The Ramones.
Good choice. Good choice.
603
00:34:28,330 --> 00:34:30,747
Sorry. Is that a bit...
604
00:34:30,913 --> 00:34:33,247
...a bit creepy, me remembering that?
A bit too stalker?
605
00:34:33,413 --> 00:34:34,747
- Yep.
- Right.
606
00:34:35,913 --> 00:34:37,122
Right.
607
00:34:45,497 --> 00:34:48,288
- Fancy a toot, love?
- Oh.
608
00:34:48,497 --> 00:34:49,497
Thanks, love.
609
00:34:52,997 --> 00:34:55,288
- That hit the spot?
- Uh-huh.
610
00:34:56,788 --> 00:34:58,622
Gloria.
611
00:34:58,830 --> 00:35:01,955
Don't hog the boy.
He's got to spread himself around.
612
00:35:02,163 --> 00:35:04,913
I'm telling people they're the next U2.
613
00:35:05,122 --> 00:35:06,580
Only better looking.
614
00:35:06,747 --> 00:35:08,622
And gay.
615
00:35:08,830 --> 00:35:13,122
Oh, the gay U2. Has a certain ring
to it. Don't you think, Neil?
616
00:35:13,330 --> 00:35:17,122
It's OK, Karl. He's all yours. I was
just leaving, I have a play to go to.
617
00:35:18,288 --> 00:35:20,830
- Bye.
- Gloria.
618
00:35:28,455 --> 00:35:32,080
I leave you alone for five minutes and
you're snorting drugs at a gay party.
619
00:35:32,288 --> 00:35:35,205
- What would mam say?
- I know.
620
00:35:36,830 --> 00:35:38,622
- Has he got any more, do you think?
- Yeah, yeah.
621
00:35:52,705 --> 00:35:55,080
And we're gonna be in the studio soon.
We're gonna be doing a music video.
622
00:35:55,288 --> 00:35:57,955
Like those big fuck off, snow white
palace in all the snow, like.
623
00:35:58,163 --> 00:35:59,788
Except for we're naked.
Except for we're wearing fur.
624
00:35:59,997 --> 00:36:01,788
And everybody's dancing,
everybody's thinking about
625
00:36:01,997 --> 00:36:03,622
having sex with each other.
But no, wait.
626
00:36:03,830 --> 00:36:05,705
Everybody is actually
having sex with each other.
627
00:36:05,872 --> 00:36:09,038
You, me, everyone in the whole video,
all up in Iceland and stuff.
628
00:36:09,205 --> 00:36:12,205
Fucking hell, look, he's snogging
that bird now. Get off her!
629
00:36:12,372 --> 00:36:13,913
Jesus. Oh, shit.
630
00:36:30,705 --> 00:36:33,872
Would you mind if we did it
with the lights off?
631
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,330
I hope that shag was worth it, 'cause
we're late for signing our contract.
632
00:36:39,497 --> 00:36:42,038
Maybe I'm getting heartache. I'm feeling
a bit worried 'cause of the coke.
633
00:36:42,246 --> 00:36:44,788
- I think I'm feeling a bit hyper.
- Will you shut up?
634
00:36:53,580 --> 00:36:54,830
Hello.
635
00:36:55,038 --> 00:36:56,996
Hi, where is Hammond?
636
00:36:57,205 --> 00:36:58,788
- Are you the new runners?
- No.
637
00:36:58,955 --> 00:37:01,913
No, no, we are not the new runners.
We're the McCormick's.
638
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,163
We're Hammond's new act, we're just
here to sign the old contracts.
639
00:37:05,371 --> 00:37:07,496
Hammond's history. Axed.
640
00:37:08,121 --> 00:37:11,121
Kept spunking cash into Kajagoogoo.
641
00:37:12,330 --> 00:37:14,330
I'm the new Hammond.
642
00:37:14,955 --> 00:37:15,955
- What?
- No.
643
00:37:16,163 --> 00:37:18,121
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
644
00:37:18,288 --> 00:37:19,996
What was the last thing he said
before he left?
645
00:37:20,205 --> 00:37:23,121
Let me think.
646
00:37:23,288 --> 00:37:25,996
I'm gonna sue you bastards
right through the arsehole.
647
00:37:26,163 --> 00:37:29,746
Then he sort of broke down.
It was all very uncool.
648
00:37:29,955 --> 00:37:31,455
Yeah, but he did tell you
about our deal?
649
00:37:31,621 --> 00:37:33,746
Yeah, and the fifty grand advance.
650
00:37:33,913 --> 00:37:36,913
Oh yeah, it's ringing bells.
Ding-aling-ling.
651
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:40,746
But I'd say a hundred's
more realistic.
652
00:37:40,955 --> 00:37:42,580
- A hundred grand?
- Yeah.
653
00:37:42,746 --> 00:37:44,538
- I tell you what.
- What?
654
00:37:44,705 --> 00:37:47,663
You boys will look
fucking fantastic on camera.
655
00:37:47,830 --> 00:37:50,496
We'll do you a video
to rival Duran Duran.
656
00:37:50,663 --> 00:37:51,663
OK, yeah.
657
00:37:51,871 --> 00:37:54,038
And we'll shoot it on the moon.
658
00:37:54,205 --> 00:37:56,080
What? Really?
659
00:37:56,246 --> 00:37:58,913
No. Not really.
660
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:02,496
In fact, I'll tell you why you boys
will never be signed to this label.
661
00:38:02,663 --> 00:38:06,955
You look like a pair of mental
fortune tellers from a gypsy fair.
662
00:38:07,121 --> 00:38:10,288
And Hammond liked you.
Therefore, I hate you.
663
00:38:10,455 --> 00:38:12,996
I wouldn't sign you to this label
if you paid me a hundred grand
664
00:38:13,163 --> 00:38:14,955
and let me John Paul Pope your mother.
665
00:38:16,205 --> 00:38:19,080
Don't hit me. Don't hit me.
666
00:38:19,246 --> 00:38:22,038
You do not throw the McCormick's
out with the trash.
667
00:38:22,205 --> 00:38:23,246
Did you hear me?
668
00:38:23,413 --> 00:38:25,996
This means war!
669
00:38:57,663 --> 00:38:58,705
Neil McCormick.
670
00:38:58,871 --> 00:39:01,746
Neil, you're a hard bugger
to track down.
671
00:39:03,371 --> 00:39:04,871
Did you listen to the new U2 album?
672
00:39:05,038 --> 00:39:07,663
Yeah. Yeah... it's OK.
673
00:39:07,830 --> 00:39:09,913
Never gonna knock Thriller
off the top spot though, is it?
674
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,413
Still, you told Mr. Machin
you'd be bigger than them
675
00:39:12,580 --> 00:39:15,705
and you're still a pair of no marks.
Sharon, you're late.
676
00:39:17,996 --> 00:39:20,330
He wants come back on his cash
or he'll cut yous off.
677
00:39:20,496 --> 00:39:22,996
He says you're his biggest
cash haemorrhoid.
678
00:39:23,163 --> 00:39:26,871
Haemorrhage, Plugger.
We're his biggest cash haemorrhage.
679
00:39:27,038 --> 00:39:29,996
But I'm gonna sort it out.
That'll change.
680
00:39:30,163 --> 00:39:32,330
Well, it better.
Don't make me come over there, Neil.
681
00:39:32,496 --> 00:39:33,871
You know I get sick on that ferry.
682
00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:38,371
Yeah, yeah. OK. Love you too.
OK. OK, love you. Bye.
683
00:39:39,830 --> 00:39:43,871
- Who was that?
- Ma. She sends her love.
684
00:39:44,830 --> 00:39:47,121
Take down those rejection letters.
They're not funny.
685
00:39:47,288 --> 00:39:48,621
They're just a bad reminder.
686
00:39:48,788 --> 00:39:51,163
Well, we only got the five today.
687
00:39:51,330 --> 00:39:55,955
Oh, and a postcard
from Bono in Florida.
688
00:39:56,121 --> 00:39:58,580
They just finished 48 shows
across America.
689
00:39:58,746 --> 00:40:00,288
And get this.
690
00:40:00,455 --> 00:40:04,455
They smoked cigars in Vegas...
with Sinatra.
691
00:40:06,621 --> 00:40:09,246
Whereas we took on the music industry.
692
00:40:09,413 --> 00:40:12,746
And got kicked up the arse
by everyone in town.
693
00:40:12,913 --> 00:40:16,788
Let me remind you that this is not
a competition with U2.
694
00:40:16,954 --> 00:40:19,996
Good, 'cause if it was we'd be getting
our arses kicked there as well.
695
00:40:20,163 --> 00:40:21,829
Oh, come on.
We're pop, they're rock.
696
00:40:21,996 --> 00:40:26,163
No. They're great and we're shite.
697
00:40:26,329 --> 00:40:28,038
And now we're skint, too.
698
00:40:28,204 --> 00:40:30,329
I'll be surprised if Karl
doesn't evict us.
699
00:40:30,496 --> 00:40:32,621
And no, I'm not selling him my arse.
700
00:40:32,788 --> 00:40:34,788
- We can get more money.
- Where?
701
00:40:34,954 --> 00:40:36,329
Where's all this been coming from?
702
00:40:36,496 --> 00:40:39,204
I told you. The savings.
703
00:40:39,371 --> 00:40:40,996
You said it would be different here.
704
00:40:41,163 --> 00:40:43,746
But all we've really done
is change the scenery,
705
00:40:43,913 --> 00:40:46,996
and traded our band
for a fucking tape recorder.
706
00:40:48,163 --> 00:40:52,413
Maybe we should just face reality,
and go home.
707
00:40:52,579 --> 00:40:54,621
We can't leave now.
708
00:40:55,454 --> 00:40:57,746
- We've only just started.
- Just started?
709
00:40:57,913 --> 00:41:00,871
We've been standing still.
For months.
710
00:41:01,038 --> 00:41:02,871
Going nowhere.
711
00:41:03,038 --> 00:41:05,204
And that is where
we've been going wrong.
712
00:41:05,371 --> 00:41:07,913
The business needs to see us live.
713
00:41:08,079 --> 00:41:10,121
Instead of us going
to see the wankers,
714
00:41:10,288 --> 00:41:13,454
we get the wankers
to come and see us.
715
00:41:13,621 --> 00:41:15,621
We need to get a band together.
716
00:41:18,079 --> 00:41:19,829
Where are we gonna find a band?
717
00:41:51,663 --> 00:41:53,829
# Save your skin
and you start to believe me
718
00:41:53,996 --> 00:41:56,329
# Lie, lie, lie
then you start to deceive me
719
00:41:56,496 --> 00:41:59,496
# Kill the dreams like you
don't have a reason
720
00:42:02,079 --> 00:42:05,246
# Cry
721
00:42:09,163 --> 00:42:12,329
Hold on. Hold on. Shut up.
722
00:42:13,246 --> 00:42:14,704
Hi, Gloria.
723
00:42:14,871 --> 00:42:16,954
Gloria, this is the new band.
724
00:42:17,121 --> 00:42:18,954
Band, Gloria.
725
00:42:19,121 --> 00:42:22,454
Do you think you can try cranking it
down a few thousand decibels?
726
00:42:22,621 --> 00:42:25,204
It's like flat sharing
with Napalm fucking Death.
727
00:42:25,371 --> 00:42:27,329
Sorry.
728
00:42:29,038 --> 00:42:31,246
Hey, Gloria. Aren't you supposed
to be on a theatre tour?
729
00:42:31,413 --> 00:42:35,829
Here, I'll help you.
Let me do that. Grand.
730
00:42:35,996 --> 00:42:38,204
My company folded so we're gonna
have to find some new way
731
00:42:38,371 --> 00:42:41,079
to put up with each other without having
to resort to ear plugs. Or murder.
732
00:42:41,246 --> 00:42:44,454
Listen, I'm really sorry, Gloria.
We'll try and turn it down.
733
00:42:44,621 --> 00:42:46,538
You really don't have to leave.
734
00:42:46,704 --> 00:42:48,663
Yes, I do. I have a job interview.
735
00:42:49,496 --> 00:42:52,204
Go on, practice on me. What's
the first thing you want out of a job?
736
00:42:52,371 --> 00:42:54,829
- You're not interviewing me, Neil.
- Oh, come on.
737
00:42:54,996 --> 00:42:57,496
Oh, OK, I don't know...
738
00:42:57,663 --> 00:43:00,288
The usual stuff:
pleasure, satisfaction.
739
00:43:00,454 --> 00:43:02,538
What about a job that combines
pleasure, satisfaction
740
00:43:02,704 --> 00:43:05,121
- and appeals to your love of music?
- Where are you going with this?
741
00:43:05,288 --> 00:43:07,163
I thought if you can't put up
with us, you could join us.
742
00:43:07,329 --> 00:43:09,788
I am not joining your band.
743
00:43:10,496 --> 00:43:12,663
No, but you could be our manager.
744
00:43:14,246 --> 00:43:16,329
Are you fucking with me?
Because I'm already running late.
745
00:43:16,496 --> 00:43:18,413
No, I just thought that you know,
you know the scene,
746
00:43:18,579 --> 00:43:20,329
and what with all your shite luck
at the theatre and everything,
747
00:43:20,496 --> 00:43:22,288
you know, maybe we could combine
our shite luck,
748
00:43:22,454 --> 00:43:25,371
and together we can make something
a little bit less shite.
749
00:43:25,538 --> 00:43:26,996
That's tempting.
750
00:43:27,163 --> 00:43:29,288
No, seriously,
you need the work, we need help.
751
00:43:29,454 --> 00:43:30,996
We're made for each other.
We'll give you ten per cent.
752
00:43:31,163 --> 00:43:32,496
Ten per cent of nothing is nothing.
753
00:43:32,663 --> 00:43:34,538
Brilliant! See, you can do the maths
and everything.
754
00:43:34,704 --> 00:43:38,079
Plus, you run a theatre,
so you know how to handle people.
755
00:43:39,038 --> 00:43:40,913
Music people are very different.
756
00:43:41,079 --> 00:43:42,662
Just start with the idea
they're all arses
757
00:43:42,829 --> 00:43:45,121
and every so often you will be
pleasantly surprised.
758
00:43:47,704 --> 00:43:49,079
Go on.
759
00:43:52,454 --> 00:43:53,996
So, does the band have a name?
760
00:43:54,162 --> 00:43:55,537
At the moment
we're stuck somewhere
761
00:43:55,704 --> 00:43:58,829
between The Cheese Graters
and Lady Garden.
762
00:44:00,287 --> 00:44:02,746
Wow. You really do need help,
don't you?
763
00:44:06,996 --> 00:44:08,329
Let me think about it, all right?
764
00:44:08,496 --> 00:44:10,537
Couldn't ask for more.
765
00:44:12,162 --> 00:44:14,621
Well, you are the hottest label in town.
766
00:44:14,787 --> 00:44:16,287
Surely you've heard of Shook Up?
767
00:44:16,454 --> 00:44:18,496
You should hear the new stuff
they're coming up with.
768
00:44:18,662 --> 00:44:20,079
OK then, I'll set a lunch.
769
00:44:27,787 --> 00:44:30,829
# I drank all the tea in China
770
00:44:30,996 --> 00:44:34,246
# I walked all the roads to Rome
A bit of this.
771
00:44:34,412 --> 00:44:37,746
# I looked in the maps to find ya
772
00:44:37,912 --> 00:44:40,537
That's pretty...
that's sounding good, actually.
773
00:44:40,704 --> 00:44:43,662
It sounded good but we need
some juice. We need some moves.
774
00:44:50,246 --> 00:44:53,912
# I need you in conversation
775
00:44:54,079 --> 00:44:57,162
# I want you to be my friend
776
00:44:57,329 --> 00:45:00,371
# Our love was a celebration
777
00:45:00,537 --> 00:45:03,412
# Beginning is now at an end
778
00:45:03,579 --> 00:45:06,287
# I'm on my own
779
00:45:09,412 --> 00:45:12,079
# I can't be alone #
780
00:45:16,454 --> 00:45:18,121
Pretty good.
781
00:45:20,204 --> 00:45:23,746
OK, you've gotta stop beating yourself
up after every single gig.
782
00:45:23,912 --> 00:45:25,871
I've been here before.
This is how it works.
783
00:45:26,037 --> 00:45:27,954
Overnight success is a myth.
784
00:45:28,871 --> 00:45:30,371
Is it?
785
00:45:30,537 --> 00:45:32,579
Then how do you explain that?
786
00:45:32,746 --> 00:45:33,787
What?
787
00:45:33,954 --> 00:45:36,954
A million copies of the album sold.
788
00:45:37,121 --> 00:45:38,371
A million.
789
00:45:41,246 --> 00:45:44,454
That's like the population of
a small country jumping up and down
790
00:45:44,621 --> 00:45:46,454
because they think you're great.
791
00:45:46,621 --> 00:45:50,412
- To our ten.
- So, who gives a shit?
792
00:45:50,579 --> 00:45:52,246
They're doing their thing.
793
00:45:52,412 --> 00:45:54,287
You're doing yours.
794
00:45:54,454 --> 00:45:56,537
What's your problem?
795
00:46:01,704 --> 00:46:04,662
I stopped Ivan being in the band.
796
00:46:04,829 --> 00:46:06,912
- What band?
- That band.
797
00:46:07,079 --> 00:46:08,996
U2?
798
00:46:10,704 --> 00:46:11,746
Yeah.
799
00:46:11,912 --> 00:46:13,996
Jesus, Neil, how?
800
00:46:14,162 --> 00:46:16,954
Well, we grew up with them back home.
801
00:46:17,121 --> 00:46:19,204
They wanted Ivan.
802
00:46:20,287 --> 00:46:22,412
I sorta hung on to him.
803
00:46:24,621 --> 00:46:26,537
And then I lied to him.
804
00:46:28,954 --> 00:46:31,121
And he still doesn't know.
805
00:46:33,579 --> 00:46:34,996
Wow.
806
00:46:35,912 --> 00:46:37,746
You total asshole.
807
00:46:37,912 --> 00:46:41,037
It was before they were famous.
808
00:46:41,204 --> 00:46:43,037
I thought we were gonna be
bigger than them.
809
00:46:43,204 --> 00:46:45,829
That's why it's not enough for us
to just be OK.
810
00:46:45,996 --> 00:46:49,704
We have to be... we have to be big.
We have to be really, really big.
811
00:46:49,912 --> 00:46:51,496
So that I can look him in the eye
and I can say
812
00:46:51,662 --> 00:46:53,954
"Are you glad you stuck with me?"
813
00:46:58,496 --> 00:47:00,662
You must love him a lot.
814
00:47:00,829 --> 00:47:02,746
Yeah.
815
00:47:06,162 --> 00:47:07,954
But it's also the guilt.
816
00:47:09,079 --> 00:47:11,829
You know how good
the Irish are at that.
817
00:47:27,537 --> 00:47:30,537
So why'd you give up your band?
818
00:47:30,745 --> 00:47:32,787
My ex took it.
819
00:47:33,620 --> 00:47:35,579
It was kind of like a divorce.
820
00:47:35,787 --> 00:47:39,495
He got the band
and I got my life back.
821
00:47:39,704 --> 00:47:41,162
Mine was the better deal.
822
00:47:41,329 --> 00:47:43,120
You were in a band with your ex?
823
00:47:43,287 --> 00:47:45,704
What was it like, Sonny and Cher?
824
00:47:45,912 --> 00:47:49,204
Ah, more like Sid and Nancy.
825
00:47:49,412 --> 00:47:53,954
And then when he split back
to New York I swore that
826
00:47:54,162 --> 00:47:57,412
I would never get involved
with anyone on the scene again.
827
00:47:58,454 --> 00:47:59,454
Yeah.
828
00:47:59,662 --> 00:48:04,204
But, I've always been a bit crap
with promises.
829
00:48:06,787 --> 00:48:08,870
Do you wanna come in?
830
00:48:10,245 --> 00:48:12,204
What, isn't that one of the perks
of being a rock star,
831
00:48:12,412 --> 00:48:14,704
or don't you wanna have sex with me?
832
00:48:25,870 --> 00:48:27,412
Now, will I be in one of your songs?
833
00:48:27,579 --> 00:48:29,454
After that, you'll be the whole album.
834
00:48:30,704 --> 00:48:33,870
It's kind of hard to find something
that rhymes with Gloria.
835
00:48:34,079 --> 00:48:36,662
Actually, there is already a song
called "Gloria", but...
836
00:48:36,870 --> 00:48:38,037
...but I didn't write it.
837
00:48:38,245 --> 00:48:40,037
Who did?
838
00:48:40,245 --> 00:48:41,412
Bono.
839
00:48:47,537 --> 00:48:51,495
# And when you phone me, baby
840
00:48:51,704 --> 00:48:55,287
# From the other side
841
00:48:57,620 --> 00:49:01,995
# Keep sending home the money
and I'll be all right
842
00:49:05,287 --> 00:49:09,579
# It is the season
for your playing dead
843
00:49:09,787 --> 00:49:13,537
# You give me a reason to get into bed
844
00:49:13,704 --> 00:49:17,287
# I'll put the flowers
where you lay your head
845
00:49:17,495 --> 00:49:21,079
# You be the coward
that's running away
846
00:49:21,287 --> 00:49:25,329
# Before you leave me
847
00:49:25,537 --> 00:49:28,079
# Play dead for me
848
00:49:28,870 --> 00:49:33,162
# If you want to hurt me
849
00:49:33,329 --> 00:49:36,120
# Play dead for me
850
00:49:37,162 --> 00:49:42,287
# Before you leave me
851
00:49:42,454 --> 00:49:43,912
Come in, then.
852
00:49:44,870 --> 00:49:49,495
# If you want to leave me #
853
00:49:49,662 --> 00:49:50,829
It could be a hit.
854
00:49:51,954 --> 00:49:53,829
Yes. Absolutely.
855
00:49:53,995 --> 00:49:55,329
In the right hands.
856
00:49:55,495 --> 00:49:58,912
I could get it to Rod.
857
00:49:59,787 --> 00:50:03,204
Rod Stewart?
858
00:50:03,370 --> 00:50:05,912
- I mean that would be great.
- That would be shite.
859
00:50:07,162 --> 00:50:08,704
You don't like Rod? Hmm?
860
00:50:08,870 --> 00:50:10,829
Rod is huge.
861
00:50:10,995 --> 00:50:13,454
Rod is God.
862
00:50:13,662 --> 00:50:15,704
I like The Faces Rod Stewart.
863
00:50:15,870 --> 00:50:17,704
Not that twat who sings
"Do You Think I'm Sexy?",
864
00:50:17,870 --> 00:50:19,829
and lives in a bollocking mansion
in Beverly Hills.
865
00:50:19,995 --> 00:50:22,370
OK, Neil. You can go tell Rod
to stuff himself.
866
00:50:22,537 --> 00:50:24,995
Meanwhile, we don't have barely
enough change in our pockets
867
00:50:25,204 --> 00:50:26,912
- for the ticket home.
- I'm just trying.
868
00:50:27,079 --> 00:50:29,704
OK, OK. I'm sensing your vibe,
and what I'm getting is
869
00:50:29,870 --> 00:50:34,329
you don't want some heavy-handed
rocker trampling on your artistry.
870
00:50:35,079 --> 00:50:37,370
Barry Manilow?
871
00:50:37,537 --> 00:50:40,787
- Barry fucking Marshmanilow.
- Manilow shmanilow.
872
00:50:40,953 --> 00:50:42,870
Jesus Christ.
We just turned down Rod Stewart.
873
00:50:43,037 --> 00:50:44,995
- He's a prick.
- I don't care if he's a prick.
874
00:50:45,162 --> 00:50:46,203
He's a rich successful prick
875
00:50:46,370 --> 00:50:49,495
with a decade of hit records
and leggy blondes behind him.
876
00:50:49,662 --> 00:50:51,453
And if that makes him a prick.
877
00:50:51,620 --> 00:50:54,495
Well then, I want to be a prick, too.
878
00:50:54,662 --> 00:50:56,578
Listen, arsehole.
Let me tell you something.
879
00:50:56,745 --> 00:50:58,412
- This whole business is run on dirt.
- Hammond!
880
00:50:58,578 --> 00:51:01,412
Dirty deals. Dirty money.
Dirty shitty people.
881
00:51:01,578 --> 00:51:03,453
And you're the shittiest
of the lot of them.
882
00:51:03,620 --> 00:51:04,953
Hammond, what are you doing here?
883
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:06,412
Do I know you?
884
00:51:06,578 --> 00:51:08,537
Yes, yes. You said we could
be in your harem.
885
00:51:08,703 --> 00:51:10,828
You know, "Beautiful folk in,
ugly lepers out".
886
00:51:10,995 --> 00:51:13,953
- Neil McCormick.
- The McCormick brothers. Remember?
887
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,203
Oh, yeah. The folk act
with the rape song.
888
00:51:16,370 --> 00:51:19,120
- Yeah, yeah!
- Oh, I quite liked that, didn't I?
889
00:51:19,287 --> 00:51:20,870
Yeah, you said you loved it.
890
00:51:21,037 --> 00:51:23,703
All right, look,
meet me downstairs in a minute.
891
00:51:23,870 --> 00:51:25,203
OK. Neil.
892
00:51:25,370 --> 00:51:26,912
Fuck off.
893
00:51:27,078 --> 00:51:30,495
What the hell happened? You offered us
a deal and then you buggered off.
894
00:51:30,662 --> 00:51:32,662
Yeah, I don't know.
I had some kind of misunderstanding
895
00:51:32,828 --> 00:51:35,662
with those arseholes there,
but I've formed my own label now, so...
896
00:51:35,828 --> 00:51:39,578
Sort of a free floating,
free-loving, free agent. Yeah?
897
00:51:39,745 --> 00:51:42,370
Are you still doing
that folk rape shit?
898
00:51:42,537 --> 00:51:46,703
No, no. These days we're sounding more
like U2 but with a bigger hit potential.
899
00:51:46,870 --> 00:51:50,287
- Did I ever see you play?
- No.
900
00:51:50,453 --> 00:51:53,120
I mean call me old fashioned,
but I don't like to sign anybody
901
00:51:53,287 --> 00:51:54,703
until I've seen them live.
902
00:51:54,870 --> 00:51:57,787
You know, it's so I can really
experience that wow factor.
903
00:51:57,953 --> 00:52:01,495
Second Saturday in July.
It's gonna be amazing.
904
00:52:01,662 --> 00:52:03,953
Probably one of the best gigs
you've ever seen in your entire life.
905
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:05,162
- So, that's...
- What?
906
00:52:05,328 --> 00:52:07,328
Wow, OK.
907
00:52:07,495 --> 00:52:10,287
That's amazing. Here's my card.
908
00:52:10,453 --> 00:52:12,078
- I'll see you there.
- Yeah.
909
00:52:12,245 --> 00:52:15,120
- I'm so pleased.
- OK, hugs. Good.
910
00:52:15,287 --> 00:52:19,328
Great, great, great, great.
Fucking great.
911
00:52:19,495 --> 00:52:21,120
Did I just have an acid flashback?
912
00:52:21,287 --> 00:52:24,662
No. No, that actually happened.
Look. Look.
913
00:52:24,828 --> 00:52:27,537
Hang on though. Hang on.
We don't have a pot to piss in
914
00:52:27,703 --> 00:52:29,495
and you just promised
Mr. Definitely Maybe
915
00:52:29,662 --> 00:52:31,495
the most stupendous gig in history.
916
00:52:31,662 --> 00:52:33,995
Don't you worry your curly
little melon about it.
917
00:52:34,162 --> 00:52:35,495
You worry about the music.
918
00:52:35,662 --> 00:52:39,037
And I will take care of... that.
919
00:52:39,870 --> 00:52:42,370
Good afternoon, ladies
and gentlemen and welcome to Dublin.
920
00:52:42,537 --> 00:52:45,120
All in-bound passengers wishing
to travel to the city centre
921
00:52:45,287 --> 00:52:46,953
please follow the signs
at the pick-up point...
922
00:52:58,995 --> 00:53:01,037
Bono and the lads
are doing great, you know?
923
00:53:01,203 --> 00:53:04,870
Are they? Really? Sure, you don't
hear anything about them in London.
924
00:53:05,037 --> 00:53:06,620
It's like another country over there.
925
00:53:06,787 --> 00:53:09,328
I hope you've come with good news
for Mr. Machin.
926
00:53:09,495 --> 00:53:12,453
I vouched for you so it's my balls
on the block too, you know?
927
00:53:12,620 --> 00:53:15,037
Stop your messing.
928
00:53:16,203 --> 00:53:19,203
Jesus! Is that a gun?
Why've you got a gun?
929
00:53:19,370 --> 00:53:22,620
I wouldn't be much good at me job
without one, would I?
930
00:53:36,912 --> 00:53:39,203
- All right, girls?
- How are you?
931
00:53:39,370 --> 00:53:43,037
He's the next big U2.
Neil McCormick.
932
00:53:43,203 --> 00:53:45,745
He's a rock star, and all.
933
00:53:51,745 --> 00:53:54,162
Your mate Bono's off
conquering the world
934
00:53:54,328 --> 00:53:56,745
and you can't even conquer
your own fucking haircut.
935
00:53:56,912 --> 00:53:58,995
Just tease it out a bit, love.
936
00:53:59,162 --> 00:54:01,745
So, what have you got to show
for me money?
937
00:54:01,912 --> 00:54:03,453
Well, we've got
this label guy, Hammond,
938
00:54:03,620 --> 00:54:04,787
and he really, really
wants to sign us,
939
00:54:04,953 --> 00:54:06,537
but he says he needs to see us
play live first,
940
00:54:06,703 --> 00:54:08,412
so we need a bit more cash
so we can play that gig,
941
00:54:08,578 --> 00:54:09,912
and then he'll come through
with a deal and that.
942
00:54:10,078 --> 00:54:12,286
What happened to my ten thousand?
943
00:54:12,453 --> 00:54:15,578
Well, there...
there's been a lot of admin.
944
00:54:15,745 --> 00:54:19,203
Ten grand
on bloody envelopes?
945
00:54:19,370 --> 00:54:21,411
Don't come the monkey with me, son.
946
00:54:21,578 --> 00:54:25,495
You're standing there cap in hand and
you're already into me up to your tits.
947
00:54:30,203 --> 00:54:32,453
You've got to spend money
to make money.
948
00:54:32,620 --> 00:54:34,203
And didn't you just rob some place?
949
00:54:36,453 --> 00:54:39,995
Sorry, Mr. Machin. I...
I can't help what the papers say.
950
00:54:40,161 --> 00:54:42,536
Scurrilous bastards.
951
00:54:42,703 --> 00:54:46,911
They'd pin every crime and calamity
from here to Cork on me if they could.
952
00:54:47,745 --> 00:54:52,370
I just hope my poor old mam's
not reading this shite.
953
00:54:52,536 --> 00:54:55,870
I'm a household name.
Like Marigold.
954
00:54:56,078 --> 00:54:58,036
Like Hoover.
955
00:55:00,870 --> 00:55:03,161
While you've been falling on your arse
trying to get famous,
956
00:55:03,328 --> 00:55:05,995
I got more famous
than the pair of yous.
957
00:55:06,161 --> 00:55:10,578
So I've an image problem,
a cash flow problem, and you.
958
00:55:10,745 --> 00:55:12,411
What if I called in the debt?
959
00:55:12,578 --> 00:55:16,536
- Well, I can't pay, so...
- So what?
960
00:55:16,745 --> 00:55:19,245
So I suppose you would
have to kill me.
961
00:55:24,078 --> 00:55:28,120
For Christ's sake, Neil, I'm not
an Italian. I'm not going to kill ya.
962
00:55:29,578 --> 00:55:30,995
Yet.
963
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:35,286
I need to see your return
and you're no use to me dead.
964
00:55:36,661 --> 00:55:38,495
I'll pay for your gig.
965
00:55:39,870 --> 00:55:41,411
But on one condition.
966
00:55:41,578 --> 00:55:43,495
I am not playing any Van Morrison.
967
00:55:43,661 --> 00:55:45,453
I'm coming over to see yous.
968
00:55:45,661 --> 00:55:47,536
I could do with a change
of surroundings.
969
00:55:47,745 --> 00:55:50,495
And I expect V-I-fucking P.
970
00:55:53,995 --> 00:55:55,578
Oh shit, that's grand.
971
00:55:55,786 --> 00:55:59,245
- Hey, guys. Check this out.
- Wicked.
972
00:55:59,453 --> 00:56:01,661
- That is handsome.
- You look like a girl.
973
00:56:01,870 --> 00:56:04,703
I have got us a gig
at the best venue in town.
974
00:56:09,328 --> 00:56:10,328
Neil.
975
00:56:13,078 --> 00:56:15,078
Come on, mate.
Who's paying for all this?
976
00:56:15,995 --> 00:56:18,286
Now, I know you went to Dublin,
you sneaky git.
977
00:56:18,495 --> 00:56:19,495
I saw the tickets.
978
00:56:19,703 --> 00:56:22,203
Just please tell me Dad
didn't bail us out.
979
00:56:25,953 --> 00:56:28,203
It was Bono.
980
00:56:28,786 --> 00:56:29,786
Really?
981
00:56:29,995 --> 00:56:32,911
Who else do we know with any money?
982
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:34,745
Hey, aren't they incredible?
983
00:56:34,911 --> 00:56:35,911
Yeah.
984
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:39,703
We're gonna give Hammond something
that is undeniable, man.
985
00:56:39,911 --> 00:56:41,620
Hang on a sec, is that Bob Geldof?
986
00:56:41,828 --> 00:56:42,911
- What?
- Turn that up there, Doug.
987
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:46,286
Among acts confirmed for
the Live Aid benefit at Wembley Stadium
988
00:56:46,495 --> 00:56:52,161
are The Who, Queen, David Bowie,
Elton John, Sting and U2.
989
00:56:52,328 --> 00:56:54,495
When is this?
990
00:56:54,703 --> 00:56:57,453
The concert, on the thirteenth of July,
is expected to be watched
991
00:56:57,661 --> 00:57:01,495
by a global television audience
of over two billion people.
992
00:57:01,703 --> 00:57:02,870
Rock stars, Bob Geldof...
993
00:57:03,078 --> 00:57:06,453
That's the same date you chose
for our gig.
994
00:57:06,661 --> 00:57:08,661
I'll tell you what's undeniable.
995
00:57:08,870 --> 00:57:10,661
That you are a cock!
996
00:57:10,870 --> 00:57:14,120
You're a stupid, arsehole,
tosspot, bollock.
997
00:57:14,328 --> 00:57:15,703
- Easy.
- Hey, wait.
998
00:57:15,870 --> 00:57:18,620
- Don't you know Bob Geldof?
- He's from Ireland.
999
00:57:18,786 --> 00:57:21,786
Oh, yeah. Yeah, Bob Geldof,
he's from Ireland, yeah.
1000
00:57:21,995 --> 00:57:24,661
I'll just give Bob a call.
Hey, Bob, you know your thing
1001
00:57:24,828 --> 00:57:27,161
with the big fuck off stars and
the billions of people and that?
1002
00:57:27,370 --> 00:57:29,495
For the starving kids in Africa?
Well, we've got a bit of a clash
1003
00:57:29,661 --> 00:57:32,161
with our gig in Camden and wondering
if you could push yours back a week.
1004
00:57:32,370 --> 00:57:34,078
Major cock up, Neil.
1005
00:57:34,286 --> 00:57:37,786
- How is this my fault?
- It always bloody is.
1006
00:57:37,995 --> 00:57:40,328
You're a genius at making
shite decisions.
1007
00:57:40,536 --> 00:57:43,536
You booked a gig on the same day the
Pope was doing his greatest hits tour.
1008
00:57:43,703 --> 00:57:47,453
You booked another gig on the same
day as the biggest gig in history.
1009
00:57:47,661 --> 00:57:50,494
You turned down Bono's help
for us to get a record deal.
1010
00:57:50,703 --> 00:57:54,411
And you turned down the chance
to sell our songs to Rod Stewart.
1011
00:57:55,828 --> 00:57:58,369
OK, boys. Let's just calm down.
1012
00:57:58,578 --> 00:58:00,703
We'll just change the date.
1013
00:58:08,661 --> 00:58:13,619
Direct from London, a group
whose heart is in Dublin, Ireland.
1014
00:58:15,786 --> 00:58:17,911
Whose spirit is with the world.
1015
00:58:18,119 --> 00:58:23,161
A group that's never had any problem
saying how they feel. U2.
1016
00:58:24,078 --> 00:58:26,744
Look at the size of that crowd.
1017
00:58:26,911 --> 00:58:30,744
We're an Irish band.
We come from Dublin city, Ireland.
1018
00:58:31,369 --> 00:58:35,661
Like all cities, it has its good.
1019
00:58:35,828 --> 00:58:38,036
And it has its bad.
1020
00:58:38,203 --> 00:58:39,911
This is a song called Bad.
1021
00:58:43,203 --> 00:58:45,744
We've got our own gig
to rehearse for, yeah?
1022
00:58:50,161 --> 00:58:51,536
Come on.
1023
00:58:51,744 --> 00:58:54,744
One, two. One, two, three.
1024
00:59:01,369 --> 00:59:04,453
# Oh
1025
00:59:04,619 --> 00:59:07,869
# Oh, oh, oh
1026
00:59:08,078 --> 00:59:10,911
# Whoa, oh, oh
1027
00:59:11,078 --> 00:59:14,078
# Sun is shining on the sea today
1028
00:59:14,244 --> 00:59:17,661
# You're living your life the easy way
1029
00:59:17,828 --> 00:59:19,786
# You've left behind
1030
00:59:20,744 --> 00:59:23,536
# The world again
1031
00:59:23,703 --> 00:59:27,286
# So be a tourist
Hear the call
1032
00:59:27,453 --> 00:59:30,619
# Now you've been saving your money
You can spend it all
1033
00:59:30,786 --> 00:59:33,161
# And you come away
1034
00:59:34,661 --> 00:59:36,786
# With me today
1035
00:59:37,453 --> 00:59:43,161
# Free from all
you're meant to be
1036
00:59:43,953 --> 00:59:49,578
# Come on, baby
Jump right in
1037
00:59:49,744 --> 00:59:52,911
# 'Cause tonight
1038
00:59:56,744 --> 01:00:01,286
# We can be right here
where we wanna be
1039
01:00:10,536 --> 01:00:12,494
# Oh, oh, oh
1040
01:00:13,786 --> 01:00:15,994
# Oh, oh, oh
1041
01:00:16,161 --> 01:00:18,036
# Come away
1042
01:00:19,703 --> 01:00:21,786
# Come away
1043
01:00:23,119 --> 01:00:24,994
# Get away
1044
01:00:25,161 --> 01:00:26,619
Come on, boys!
1045
01:00:26,786 --> 01:00:30,286
# Save yourself
1046
01:00:30,453 --> 01:00:36,369
# Free from all
you're supposed to be
1047
01:00:36,536 --> 01:00:42,619
# Come on, baby,
feel the breeze
1048
01:00:42,786 --> 01:00:45,828
# 'Cause today
1049
01:00:54,578 --> 01:00:57,036
So, Mr. Hammond.
1050
01:00:57,203 --> 01:00:58,744
What did you think?
1051
01:00:58,911 --> 01:01:01,203
I think I like your style.
1052
01:01:01,369 --> 01:01:04,578
Good mix of stadium rock,
balladeering,
1053
01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:06,911
- electric, Celtic...
- Cosmic.
1054
01:01:07,078 --> 01:01:08,578
Orgasmic.
1055
01:01:08,744 --> 01:01:11,661
We stand among stars
in the ascendant. Hmm.
1056
01:01:13,369 --> 01:01:17,202
I haven't been that excited
since I first saw Sting.
1057
01:01:17,911 --> 01:01:19,702
This is my wife, Danielle.
1058
01:01:19,869 --> 01:01:21,119
Big fan of The Police,
aren't you, love?
1059
01:01:21,327 --> 01:01:22,327
Nice boys.
1060
01:01:22,536 --> 01:01:26,327
Why don't you go and get yourself
another fucking drink, darling?
1061
01:01:26,494 --> 01:01:30,577
Now, we were trying to work out
who else you remind us of.
1062
01:01:30,744 --> 01:01:32,244
U2.
1063
01:01:32,411 --> 01:01:34,911
That's it.
Oh, sorry. Who are you?
1064
01:01:35,077 --> 01:01:36,619
Their priest.
1065
01:01:36,786 --> 01:01:38,536
How'd you do, Mr. Hammond, is it?
1066
01:01:38,702 --> 01:01:41,077
Yes, that's right.
Yeah, yeah... yeah.
1067
01:01:41,244 --> 01:01:43,827
So... what are you doing...
1068
01:01:43,994 --> 01:01:46,452
What the fuck is he doing here?
1069
01:01:46,619 --> 01:01:48,702
Well, it's just friendly support
from back home, isn't it?
1070
01:01:48,869 --> 01:01:50,661
- From Danny fucking Machin?
- Martin.
1071
01:01:50,827 --> 01:01:55,202
Father Martin, from the local parish.
Come to bless the gig.
1072
01:01:55,369 --> 01:01:57,994
Oh. Isn't that charming?
1073
01:01:58,161 --> 01:02:00,077
Well, it's nice to have God
in our corner.
1074
01:02:00,244 --> 01:02:04,952
Use all the support we can get
in this fucking, shitty business.
1075
01:02:05,119 --> 01:02:08,994
So, did you bring a contract?
'Cause...
1076
01:02:09,911 --> 01:02:11,952
...I brought a pen.
- Now, then.
1077
01:02:12,119 --> 01:02:17,452
Danielle, are we going to sign
this young band to our new label?
1078
01:02:17,619 --> 01:02:20,161
I thought they were really great.
1079
01:02:20,369 --> 01:02:23,036
They're a big hit with the girls.
1080
01:02:24,036 --> 01:02:25,161
Apparently.
1081
01:02:25,327 --> 01:02:27,911
You don't want to be the poor chap
who reads about these boys
1082
01:02:28,077 --> 01:02:30,327
in Rolling Stone next week, do you?
1083
01:02:30,494 --> 01:02:34,077
Wishing that he could make this
slippery little bugger of a decision
1084
01:02:34,244 --> 01:02:35,411
all over again.
1085
01:02:35,577 --> 01:02:37,786
Surely you've seen enough
to make up your mind?
1086
01:02:37,952 --> 01:02:41,286
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
But I don't invest lightly.
1087
01:02:41,452 --> 01:02:44,036
I mean, are these boys going to
set the world on fire? I don't know.
1088
01:02:44,202 --> 01:02:47,411
Can you explain
Frankie Goes to Hollywood?
1089
01:02:47,577 --> 01:02:49,327
I can't.
1090
01:02:49,494 --> 01:02:51,286
I don't even like music.
1091
01:02:51,452 --> 01:02:52,619
What?
1092
01:02:52,786 --> 01:02:55,786
Mr. Hammond, could I have
a word with you in private?
1093
01:02:55,952 --> 01:03:00,411
Would you mind?
If it's not too much of an imposition.
1094
01:03:00,577 --> 01:03:03,202
There are only two reasons
I can think of
1095
01:03:03,369 --> 01:03:05,911
for two gentlemen to share
a toilet cubicle.
1096
01:03:06,077 --> 01:03:08,036
Well, it's not the first one.
1097
01:03:08,202 --> 01:03:10,327
Good.
Thank God for that.
1098
01:03:10,494 --> 01:03:12,077
That's what I love about
the Catholic church.
1099
01:03:12,244 --> 01:03:14,286
You really know how
to enjoy yourselves.
1100
01:03:14,452 --> 01:03:16,119
Shall we use your gear, or mine?
1101
01:03:16,286 --> 01:03:18,036
Neither. I've sinned enough.
1102
01:03:18,202 --> 01:03:21,744
I want to see my boys succeed.
1103
01:03:23,494 --> 01:03:26,577
Am I being given the hard sell
by their priest?
1104
01:03:26,744 --> 01:03:29,577
No. You're getting it
from Danny Machin.
1105
01:03:29,744 --> 01:03:31,661
Who the fuck's Danny Machin?
1106
01:03:31,827 --> 01:03:33,369
Who the fuck is Danny Machin?
1107
01:03:33,536 --> 01:03:36,202
- Yeah.
- I'll tell you who Danny Machin is.
1108
01:03:36,369 --> 01:03:38,327
He's the answer to your prayers.
1109
01:03:38,494 --> 01:03:41,494
He's the boy can make
your dreams come true.
1110
01:03:41,661 --> 01:03:44,452
Now, it can be the best wet dream
you ever had.
1111
01:03:44,619 --> 01:03:47,452
Or your worst fucking nightmare.
1112
01:03:47,619 --> 01:03:50,744
I can rip your head off
and shit down your throat.
1113
01:03:50,911 --> 01:03:53,952
It's up to you.
1114
01:03:56,702 --> 01:04:00,452
Welcome to the label.
1115
01:04:00,952 --> 01:04:04,911
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
1116
01:04:22,327 --> 01:04:24,827
Now, I want postcards from every gig.
1117
01:04:24,994 --> 01:04:26,702
With all the lurid details.
1118
01:04:26,869 --> 01:04:28,369
- No problem.
- Thanks for everything, Karl.
1119
01:04:28,536 --> 01:04:30,994
And don't worry, we'll get you
VIP passes when we play Wembley.
1120
01:04:31,161 --> 01:04:32,994
- Access all areas.
- Ah!
1121
01:04:33,161 --> 01:04:35,994
I'll make you sorry you ever said that.
1122
01:04:36,161 --> 01:04:40,119
Now, boys. A word to the wise
from an old man before you go.
1123
01:04:40,285 --> 01:04:42,369
Remember only this.
1124
01:04:42,535 --> 01:04:47,160
The measure of a man is what's left
when fame falls away.
1125
01:04:47,327 --> 01:04:49,244
Hmm?
1126
01:04:49,410 --> 01:04:50,619
Oh, and another thing.
1127
01:04:50,785 --> 01:04:52,994
Get as much sex as you can.
1128
01:04:55,285 --> 01:04:57,160
There's no problem there at all, Karl.
1129
01:04:57,327 --> 01:04:58,494
- Love you.
- Thanks, Karl.
1130
01:04:58,660 --> 01:05:00,119
Take care.
1131
01:05:00,285 --> 01:05:02,535
- Oh, I'll just get that.
- Leave it, man.
1132
01:05:02,702 --> 01:05:04,160
It might be mam.
1133
01:05:15,410 --> 01:05:16,535
Yeah.
1134
01:05:16,702 --> 01:05:18,952
You can run but you can't hide,
McCormick.
1135
01:05:19,119 --> 01:05:20,285
Bono!
1136
01:05:20,452 --> 01:05:22,410
I've been looking out for you
on Top of the Pops.
1137
01:05:22,577 --> 01:05:24,702
Yeah, well, apparently
they've this Irish quota.
1138
01:05:24,869 --> 01:05:27,827
It's one out, one in. And seeing as U2
are on telly every night,
1139
01:05:27,994 --> 01:05:29,785
I'll have to kill you to get my turn.
1140
01:05:29,952 --> 01:05:31,369
Kill Bono?
1141
01:05:31,535 --> 01:05:33,577
I know a few people
that would wear that t-shirt.
1142
01:05:33,744 --> 01:05:35,827
I'm already wearing that t-shirt.
1143
01:05:36,410 --> 01:05:37,910
Where are you, anyway?
1144
01:05:38,077 --> 01:05:40,702
Washington D.C.
Laid up in a hotel room
1145
01:05:40,869 --> 01:05:42,910
with my arm in a sling
and a medicinal bottle of bourbon.
1146
01:05:43,077 --> 01:05:44,119
Yeah, let me guess.
1147
01:05:44,285 --> 01:05:46,410
The fame went to your head
and you thought you could fly.
1148
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:48,327
Got it in one.
1149
01:05:48,494 --> 01:05:51,035
Right off stage.
Popped my arm out of its socket.
1150
01:05:51,202 --> 01:05:54,535
So, now you need me to come
and take over as front man for U2?
1151
01:05:54,702 --> 01:05:56,452
Well, OK. Seeing as it's you.
1152
01:05:57,244 --> 01:05:58,785
Not exactly.
1153
01:05:58,952 --> 01:06:01,035
But I was gonna ask if you'd
open for us in Dublin?
1154
01:06:01,869 --> 01:06:03,910
Get to fuck, you gobshite.
1155
01:06:04,077 --> 01:06:05,660
You mean support U2?
1156
01:06:05,827 --> 01:06:08,160
Well, we're doing Croke Park
at the end of June, and I thought,
1157
01:06:08,327 --> 01:06:11,160
you know, when we tour we like to
support local bands, you know?
1158
01:06:11,327 --> 01:06:14,535
Well, so... so technically you would be
supporting us then?
1159
01:06:14,702 --> 01:06:15,952
McCormick.
1160
01:06:16,119 --> 01:06:18,827
Look, we'd be supporting each other.
Like the old days.
1161
01:06:18,994 --> 01:06:21,119
Yeah, listen, Bono.
1162
01:06:22,035 --> 01:06:24,827
We are just playing our own tour
at the moment.
1163
01:06:24,994 --> 01:06:29,410
Just a few UK dates and Europe.
1164
01:06:29,577 --> 01:06:31,535
We got ourselves signed too,
you know?
1165
01:06:31,702 --> 01:06:34,869
Hey, congratulations, man.
I never doubted you for a minute.
1166
01:06:35,535 --> 01:06:36,952
Thanks.
1167
01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:40,119
I mean...
1168
01:06:40,285 --> 01:06:42,202
Call me crazy, but...
1169
01:06:42,369 --> 01:06:46,119
Since it's been a bit of a bastard
getting here...
1170
01:06:48,285 --> 01:06:50,827
I just think we'd rather play
to five hundred of our own fans
1171
01:06:50,994 --> 01:06:53,452
than fifty thousand of yours,
you know?
1172
01:06:55,910 --> 01:06:57,869
Well, so that's a no?
1173
01:07:04,494 --> 01:07:06,494
Yeah.
1174
01:07:08,494 --> 01:07:11,410
Look, I've got to go, Neil.
Talk to you later.
1175
01:07:26,952 --> 01:07:29,994
Oh, nice of you to join.
Who was that, then?
1176
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,785
Uh... Mam. She wishes us luck.
1177
01:07:32,952 --> 01:07:35,369
Check out the bus!
1178
01:07:38,619 --> 01:07:40,785
Jesus.
1179
01:07:43,410 --> 01:07:45,577
# The city it wakes for me
1180
01:07:46,702 --> 01:07:49,160
# I'm alone
1181
01:07:49,327 --> 01:07:52,577
# I brought my six string company
1182
01:07:52,744 --> 01:07:55,785
# The night is cold
1183
01:07:55,952 --> 01:07:58,369
# And so is the living space
1184
01:07:58,535 --> 01:08:01,577
# It's hard to know
1185
01:08:01,744 --> 01:08:04,702
# The reason for our great race
1186
01:08:04,869 --> 01:08:07,035
# If you had a choice
1187
01:08:07,869 --> 01:08:10,993
# Of a better way
would you take it?
1188
01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:14,785
# If you had a choice of a better way
1189
01:08:14,952 --> 01:08:19,243
S/H/O/O/K U/P.
Shook Up.
1190
01:08:19,410 --> 01:08:21,285
No, not shut up.
1191
01:08:21,452 --> 01:08:22,993
This fucking accent.
1192
01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:24,660
You must be Will Hammond?
1193
01:08:24,827 --> 01:08:26,493
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Gary Hagan. Hot Press.
1194
01:08:26,660 --> 01:08:30,910
Oh, hi, Gary. Thanks for flying in
at such short notice. Cool, cool.
1195
01:08:31,077 --> 01:08:33,202
Oh no, are you kidding? I was born
to break this story, you know?
1196
01:08:33,618 --> 01:08:36,327
- Excuse me, darling.
- The McCormick's and me go way back.
1197
01:08:36,493 --> 01:08:38,743
And what with the U2 connection...
1198
01:08:38,910 --> 01:08:41,535
Yeah, this story should make
a great splash.
1199
01:08:43,035 --> 01:08:44,952
What U2 connection?
1200
01:08:53,535 --> 01:08:54,577
Gary.
1201
01:08:55,452 --> 01:08:57,077
Hey, now I know we've made it.
1202
01:08:57,243 --> 01:08:59,952
- Hot Press are in the building.
- Whoo!
1203
01:09:00,118 --> 01:09:01,952
I wouldn't have missed this
for the world, Neil.
1204
01:09:02,118 --> 01:09:03,660
You're part of a great fucking story.
1205
01:09:03,827 --> 01:09:06,660
Yeah, thanks.
What do you mean "part of"?
1206
01:09:06,827 --> 01:09:09,285
Well, you know, two bands
umbilically tied.
1207
01:09:09,452 --> 01:09:11,493
One in orbit. One still...
1208
01:09:11,660 --> 01:09:14,285
...grinding it out.
- Just drop it.
1209
01:09:14,452 --> 01:09:16,993
Do you have to shoehorn U2
into every piece you write?
1210
01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:19,493
Just 'cause we're from the same
bloody country. Right, come on, boys.
1211
01:09:19,660 --> 01:09:21,702
We've got a gig to play.
I'll give you some quotes after.
1212
01:09:21,868 --> 01:09:24,243
But I am not talking about U2.
1213
01:09:27,785 --> 01:09:29,868
Ivan, what about you?
Will you talk about U2?
1214
01:09:30,035 --> 01:09:32,993
Look, Neil's right. We grew up
with them, what's to talk about?
1215
01:09:33,160 --> 01:09:35,910
Oh, I don't know. Just the fact that you
could have been the fifth member.
1216
01:09:36,077 --> 01:09:39,077
No, that's bollocks. It was just some
arseing around in Larry's kitchen.
1217
01:09:39,243 --> 01:09:42,743
That's not all though, is it?
I've just been on tour with them.
1218
01:09:42,910 --> 01:09:44,993
Bono said he wanted you in the band.
1219
01:09:45,743 --> 01:09:47,785
- What, Bono said that?
- Yeah.
1220
01:09:47,952 --> 01:09:51,785
But Neil told him no.
You wanted to stick with family.
1221
01:09:53,327 --> 01:09:55,243
Shook Up, Shook Up.
1222
01:09:55,410 --> 01:10:00,077
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Whoo!
1223
01:10:02,160 --> 01:10:04,493
Neil said that?
1224
01:10:12,785 --> 01:10:15,993
Drink it in, bro. Drink it in.
1225
01:10:16,202 --> 01:10:19,202
Fuck you, Neil!
1226
01:10:20,243 --> 01:10:23,118
- Get off me!
- Fight, fight, fight!
1227
01:10:23,285 --> 01:10:25,243
I'm gonna fuckin' kill him.
Get off me!
1228
01:10:25,410 --> 01:10:27,535
- What the cock is going on?
- Get off!
1229
01:10:28,785 --> 01:10:31,118
Betrayed by my own brother.
1230
01:10:31,285 --> 01:10:35,285
We have spent years living in
a warehouse, eating beans from a can.
1231
01:10:35,452 --> 01:10:37,660
Whereas I could have been in orbit
with the best band in the world.
1232
01:10:37,827 --> 01:10:39,327
Get off me!
1233
01:10:42,035 --> 01:10:44,618
- Where has this come from, Ivan?
- Gary told me.
1234
01:10:44,785 --> 01:10:46,868
And he heard it straight from Bono.
1235
01:10:47,035 --> 01:10:48,827
So, are you telling me it's a lie?
1236
01:10:50,743 --> 01:10:53,452
No. So, give me the truth.
1237
01:11:00,368 --> 01:11:02,452
We were kids.
1238
01:11:02,618 --> 01:11:05,785
It was ten years ago.
What do you want me to say?
1239
01:11:05,952 --> 01:11:09,618
- Sorry?
- Yes. Yes!
1240
01:11:09,785 --> 01:11:12,452
I want you to say sorry.
1241
01:11:12,618 --> 01:11:15,368
Sorry for all the record deals
you turned down,
1242
01:11:15,535 --> 01:11:16,993
while you were waiting
for the big one.
1243
01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:20,077
Sorry that everything you touch
turns to shite.
1244
01:11:20,243 --> 01:11:25,160
Sorry that you made
the worst decision of my life!
1245
01:11:25,327 --> 01:11:27,827
Well, I'm not sorry, Ivan.
Listen to me.
1246
01:11:27,993 --> 01:11:30,618
- Get out of my way.
- Calm down. Listen. Calm down!
1247
01:11:30,785 --> 01:11:32,618
I am not sorry!
1248
01:11:32,785 --> 01:11:36,118
I'm not sorry for knowing all along
that we could make it on our own.
1249
01:11:36,285 --> 01:11:39,951
I'm not sorry that every shitty decision
I ever made has brought us here.
1250
01:11:40,118 --> 01:11:42,410
And I am not fucking sorry
1251
01:11:42,576 --> 01:11:46,493
that we are Shook Up and not U2.
1252
01:11:46,660 --> 01:11:48,993
- Listen.
- Shook Up, Shook up!
1253
01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:50,451
Hear that?
1254
01:11:50,618 --> 01:11:53,285
They're waiting for us out there, Ivan.
1255
01:12:02,660 --> 01:12:05,410
You're not breaking up, are you?
1256
01:12:05,576 --> 01:12:06,910
Are you?
1257
01:12:08,493 --> 01:12:11,618
Oh, great. Great!
1258
01:12:14,951 --> 01:12:17,326
Shook Up! Shook Up!
1259
01:12:18,743 --> 01:12:20,118
It's so your fault.
1260
01:12:20,285 --> 01:12:22,201
You fucking get out there.
This is a gig.
1261
01:12:22,368 --> 01:12:24,243
Right, I'm going to announce you.
Watch.
1262
01:12:26,368 --> 01:12:28,701
One, two. Hello?
1263
01:12:28,868 --> 01:12:31,118
Hello, music lovers.
1264
01:12:31,785 --> 01:12:35,076
Oi! Oi! Don't boo me!
I went to Eton.
1265
01:12:35,243 --> 01:12:38,993
All right, here's Shook Up!
1266
01:12:42,910 --> 01:12:45,743
Get out here! Get out!
1267
01:12:48,493 --> 01:12:50,160
You fucking ponce.
1268
01:13:14,451 --> 01:13:17,326
# Well, I've been
looking for you everywhere
1269
01:13:17,493 --> 01:13:20,868
# You're like a breeze
in the midnight air
1270
01:13:21,035 --> 01:13:24,076
# I thought I saw you
in a crowded place
1271
01:13:24,243 --> 01:13:26,535
# And now I see your eyes
on every face
1272
01:13:26,701 --> 01:13:28,576
# So help me
1273
01:13:30,951 --> 01:13:35,868
# Say it's true
that you were wrong
1274
01:13:37,243 --> 01:13:40,576
# Say it to me all day long
1275
01:13:45,243 --> 01:13:47,243
# It's kicking off again
1276
01:13:47,410 --> 01:13:50,285
# Wasting away
Face it again
1277
01:13:50,451 --> 01:13:52,701
# Piss it away
1278
01:13:52,868 --> 01:13:55,743
# You
1279
01:13:58,451 --> 01:14:01,160
# It's kicking off again
1280
01:14:01,326 --> 01:14:04,326
# The road
It never ever ends
1281
01:14:04,493 --> 01:14:07,618
# It's kicking off again
1282
01:14:08,701 --> 01:14:10,493
# Say what? #
1283
01:14:11,910 --> 01:14:14,076
Ha!
1284
01:14:26,535 --> 01:14:28,785
You run press.
1285
01:14:28,951 --> 01:14:31,785
Could you have stopped this?
1286
01:14:31,951 --> 01:14:35,076
Why would I? It's a gift.
1287
01:14:36,535 --> 01:14:39,285
Neil, you can't buy this kind of press.
1288
01:14:39,451 --> 01:14:40,618
Buy it?
1289
01:14:40,785 --> 01:14:42,993
Right now, I would pay
to make it go away.
1290
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:45,243
Well, this isn't helping.
1291
01:14:45,410 --> 01:14:49,576
I am drinking on an empty bus...
because of this.
1292
01:14:49,743 --> 01:14:51,243
Because of you.
1293
01:14:51,410 --> 01:14:53,493
I didn't stop Ivan being in U2.
1294
01:14:53,660 --> 01:14:55,576
No, but you told
the entire world about it.
1295
01:14:55,743 --> 01:14:59,076
Neil. Chill out.
1296
01:14:59,243 --> 01:15:01,035
Just keep your eye on the prize.
1297
01:15:01,201 --> 01:15:03,160
My band's not talking to me.
1298
01:15:03,326 --> 01:15:06,243
My brother hates my guts.
If this is the prize...
1299
01:15:06,410 --> 01:15:08,076
...I don't want it.
1300
01:15:09,784 --> 01:15:11,201
Shit happens.
1301
01:15:11,368 --> 01:15:12,868
You move on.
1302
01:15:13,034 --> 01:15:17,076
Tonight, you'll be back there on-stage
with all the girls.
1303
01:15:18,909 --> 01:15:20,451
Danielle, I'm seeing someone.
1304
01:15:20,618 --> 01:15:24,034
A faithful rock star.
That's a new one.
1305
01:15:24,201 --> 01:15:26,951
Don't worry, I won't tell anybody.
1306
01:15:27,118 --> 01:15:29,326
Where is she, anyway?
1307
01:15:30,159 --> 01:15:33,284
More important things
to take care of, has she?
1308
01:15:33,451 --> 01:15:34,993
Well, I'm here now.
1309
01:15:35,159 --> 01:15:38,951
Screwing the boss's wife.
That'd be another fine career move.
1310
01:15:39,118 --> 01:15:40,659
It would.
1311
01:15:40,826 --> 01:15:43,243
You wanna go far, don't you?
1312
01:15:43,409 --> 01:15:46,159
I'm very good at what I do.
1313
01:15:46,326 --> 01:15:47,743
Yeah, I bet you are.
1314
01:15:47,909 --> 01:15:49,993
You've seen the way I look at you.
1315
01:15:50,159 --> 01:15:52,368
Yeah, and so has your husband.
1316
01:15:52,534 --> 01:15:57,118
I look after him. And I'll make sure
you're looked after too.
1317
01:15:57,284 --> 01:15:59,868
All you have to do...
1318
01:16:04,909 --> 01:16:08,368
...is look... after me.
1319
01:16:23,993 --> 01:16:25,284
Thank you.
1320
01:16:32,576 --> 01:16:34,159
Have you guys agreed on an encore?
1321
01:16:34,326 --> 01:16:35,618
- Yeah, "Kicking Off Again".
- Yeah, "The Great Beyond".
1322
01:16:35,784 --> 01:16:37,368
- What?
- I'm not singing that shite again.
1323
01:16:37,534 --> 01:16:39,826
You've done it again,
you bloody slag.
1324
01:16:39,993 --> 01:16:42,951
Will, please. It's the last time.
Don't make a scene, please.
1325
01:16:43,118 --> 01:16:47,201
I mean, Sting I could understand.
But Neil McCormick?
1326
01:16:47,368 --> 01:16:48,409
Problem?
1327
01:16:48,576 --> 01:16:50,034
Cock-driven little turd.
1328
01:16:50,201 --> 01:16:52,576
- Oh, Will. Will!
- Shook Up! Shook Up!
1329
01:16:52,743 --> 01:16:55,826
Is there a problem?
Is it about the deal?
1330
01:16:55,993 --> 01:16:59,493
It's about your boyfriend
fucking my wife.
1331
01:17:02,618 --> 01:17:06,451
Well, I thought you'd made
every cock-up known to man.
1332
01:17:06,659 --> 01:17:09,159
But this... this tops everything.
1333
01:17:09,826 --> 01:17:11,284
But I... I just... I...
1334
01:17:11,451 --> 01:17:13,993
You actually had sex
with this man's wife?
1335
01:17:15,618 --> 01:17:17,201
You said we had to be nice to her.
1336
01:17:18,743 --> 01:17:24,243
Looking at you is... makes me
wanna do some really nasty things.
1337
01:17:24,409 --> 01:17:26,118
Wait. You're not gonna drop us?
1338
01:17:26,326 --> 01:17:27,784
You can't.
We've only just started.
1339
01:17:27,993 --> 01:17:30,951
OK. All good bands run on democracy.
1340
01:17:31,159 --> 01:17:33,034
So, let's have a show of hands.
1341
01:17:33,243 --> 01:17:38,034
Who would object if I told Neil
to fuck off out of the band?
1342
01:17:38,993 --> 01:17:40,034
What?
1343
01:17:47,243 --> 01:17:49,201
Looks like you're on your own.
1344
01:17:49,409 --> 01:17:53,451
Right. Whose turn is it to hit you?
1345
01:17:53,659 --> 01:17:55,784
You've had a go.
That just leaves me and...
1346
01:17:55,993 --> 01:17:58,159
Gloria. Ah!
1347
01:18:11,076 --> 01:18:12,493
Gloria!
1348
01:18:14,159 --> 01:18:18,118
One, two.
One, two, three, four.
1349
01:18:22,159 --> 01:18:24,368
Gloria, wait. I'm sorry.
1350
01:18:24,576 --> 01:18:26,034
Spare yourself, Neil.
1351
01:18:26,201 --> 01:18:29,868
And what's the point of being a rock
star if you don't get to sleep around?
1352
01:18:30,076 --> 01:18:32,576
- I didn't mean to hurt you.
- Yeah, well I meant to hurt you.
1353
01:18:32,784 --> 01:18:35,659
Yeah, well you did.
It was actually a really good punch.
1354
01:18:37,784 --> 01:18:38,992
You know what?
1355
01:18:39,201 --> 01:18:40,742
This isn't even about me.
1356
01:18:40,951 --> 01:18:45,659
It's about you constantly
screwing things up for yourself.
1357
01:19:01,326 --> 01:19:04,659
# Fade into grey
1358
01:19:04,826 --> 01:19:08,576
# And it don't matter anymore
1359
01:19:08,784 --> 01:19:11,951
# What you wanna buy
It ain't in store
1360
01:19:12,117 --> 01:19:14,867
# Sometimes you gotta write
your own songs
1361
01:19:15,076 --> 01:19:18,076
# When you wanna sing
1362
01:19:21,117 --> 01:19:24,284
# Disengage and leave the ground
1363
01:19:24,492 --> 01:19:28,117
# Setting my sights
On the great beyond
1364
01:19:28,326 --> 01:19:31,909
# Silence is the loudest sound
1365
01:19:32,117 --> 01:19:35,534
# I can't believe it
It's so beautiful
1366
01:19:35,742 --> 01:19:39,076
# I was lost but now I'm found
1367
01:19:39,284 --> 01:19:42,867
# Setting my sights
on the great beyond
1368
01:19:43,076 --> 01:19:47,284
# Disengage and leave the ground #
1369
01:19:59,909 --> 01:20:01,784
Yeah, yeah, so I'll see ya.
1370
01:20:20,951 --> 01:20:23,617
Christ sake, Neil.
Have you been drinking all night?
1371
01:20:25,326 --> 01:20:27,701
So, are you really getting on that bus?
1372
01:20:27,867 --> 01:20:29,742
Well, what do you expect?
1373
01:20:30,534 --> 01:20:32,742
Come with me.
1374
01:20:32,909 --> 01:20:35,826
Where to? Back to square one?
1375
01:20:35,992 --> 01:20:40,534
Another few years of living off fags
and chips and rejection letters?
1376
01:20:40,742 --> 01:20:43,576
- No.
- No, not to square one.
1377
01:20:43,784 --> 01:20:46,617
We're on the map now.
People out there are talking about us.
1378
01:20:46,826 --> 01:20:48,701
They're listening to us.
They're loving us.
1379
01:20:48,909 --> 01:20:50,701
Not you. Not me. Us.
1380
01:20:50,909 --> 01:20:54,159
The head of the record label hates
your guts and wants you to go to hell.
1381
01:20:54,326 --> 01:20:56,701
- Think that might be a problem?
- So what.
1382
01:20:56,909 --> 01:20:58,534
He's small time, anyway.
If... if he doesn't want us
1383
01:20:58,742 --> 01:21:00,159
then we'll go bigger.
We'll go better.
1384
01:21:00,326 --> 01:21:02,367
Look, Jesus...
1385
01:21:03,492 --> 01:21:06,492
You never did know
when to give up, did you?
1386
01:21:06,659 --> 01:21:09,742
If I did... do you think
we'd have come this far?
1387
01:21:09,951 --> 01:21:11,034
Come this far?
1388
01:21:11,201 --> 01:21:12,659
Yeah.
1389
01:21:12,826 --> 01:21:15,492
I could have been in U2.
1390
01:21:15,659 --> 01:21:17,451
I should have been in U2.
1391
01:21:17,617 --> 01:21:20,159
You have held me back long enough.
1392
01:21:20,326 --> 01:21:21,784
I thought all that was behind us?
1393
01:21:21,951 --> 01:21:24,159
It is behind me.
It's in front of me.
1394
01:21:24,367 --> 01:21:27,784
It's everywhere I look.
It's my whole life, Neil.
1395
01:21:27,951 --> 01:21:30,242
And now I want it back!
1396
01:21:31,409 --> 01:21:34,826
- Don't cut me out now.
- You cut yourself out!
1397
01:21:39,076 --> 01:21:40,784
Ivan!
1398
01:21:41,576 --> 01:21:43,867
Fuck's sake.
1399
01:22:04,534 --> 01:22:06,201
I'm sorry.
1400
01:22:57,575 --> 01:22:59,492
Is pop music's biggest loser in?
1401
01:22:59,659 --> 01:23:02,409
- What?
- Come on, I know he's back in Dublin.
1402
01:23:02,575 --> 01:23:04,659
- Do you mind if I come in?
- I do, yeah.
1403
01:23:07,034 --> 01:23:08,450
McCormick?
1404
01:23:08,617 --> 01:23:10,284
McCormick!
1405
01:23:12,700 --> 01:23:13,867
Where is he?
1406
01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:18,325
Hi, Temple Hill.
Leave a message.
1407
01:23:18,492 --> 01:23:19,909
Oh, bugger.
1408
01:23:20,075 --> 01:23:21,825
Yeah, hi, Bono. It's Neil.
1409
01:23:21,992 --> 01:23:24,450
I heard you were back from the States,
just leaving you a message.
1410
01:23:24,659 --> 01:23:27,575
Listen, I've been having a think
about your offer and...
1411
01:23:27,742 --> 01:23:30,909
...and it struck me just as
a bit silly really,
1412
01:23:31,075 --> 01:23:35,617
to turn down the big gig. Moment of
madness really there, on my part.
1413
01:23:35,784 --> 01:23:37,117
I managed to juggle a few bits,
1414
01:23:37,284 --> 01:23:40,617
and I would be happy
to support you on the...
1415
01:23:40,784 --> 01:23:42,659
Bugger!
1416
01:23:47,825 --> 01:23:49,825
I hate nature.
1417
01:23:50,784 --> 01:23:52,200
Can you guys get a shake on?
1418
01:23:52,367 --> 01:23:55,784
It's like watching the world's
most depressing water feature.
1419
01:23:55,950 --> 01:23:57,117
Could someone please explain to me
1420
01:23:57,284 --> 01:23:59,659
why you were so
spectacularly awful last night?
1421
01:23:59,825 --> 01:24:01,617
Look. Are you saying we were shite?
1422
01:24:01,784 --> 01:24:03,742
More lively crowd
at my mother's funeral.
1423
01:24:03,909 --> 01:24:05,867
You think we sound like
we've lost something.
1424
01:24:06,034 --> 01:24:08,700
- Maybe it's 'cause we have.
- All right, we'll get another singer.
1425
01:24:08,867 --> 01:24:11,034
Wham! have just split up.
Maybe we could get that guy.
1426
01:24:11,200 --> 01:24:12,284
George Michael?
1427
01:24:12,450 --> 01:24:14,034
No, we'd never get him.
The other one.
1428
01:24:14,200 --> 01:24:16,950
We don't need a new singer.
We've lost our front man.
1429
01:24:17,117 --> 01:24:19,534
And whatever you say about Neil,
that's what he was.
1430
01:24:19,700 --> 01:24:21,409
And let's face it.
1431
01:24:21,575 --> 01:24:23,325
Your wife wouldn't have shagged
a bass player.
1432
01:24:23,492 --> 01:24:25,575
- You don't know that.
- Oi!
1433
01:24:25,742 --> 01:24:27,784
Cheeky git. I'll fire you, n'all.
1434
01:24:27,950 --> 01:24:29,409
Look.
1435
01:24:29,575 --> 01:24:32,909
Neil was part of
what really made this band.
1436
01:24:33,909 --> 01:24:35,992
And you fired him.
1437
01:24:36,159 --> 01:24:38,784
No. We fired him.
1438
01:24:43,242 --> 01:24:44,992
Yeah.
1439
01:24:46,784 --> 01:24:50,534
We... are supporting U2.
1440
01:24:51,200 --> 01:24:52,742
- What?
- Bog off!
1441
01:24:52,909 --> 01:24:55,034
Bono asked me himself.
They want a local band to support them.
1442
01:24:55,200 --> 01:24:57,575
- Just like old times.
- We can't support U2.
1443
01:24:57,742 --> 01:24:59,242
I work in a chicken factory.
1444
01:24:59,409 --> 01:25:01,409
Would it kill you to quit?
1445
01:25:01,575 --> 01:25:03,450
I don't know whether I can still play.
1446
01:25:03,617 --> 01:25:06,034
You never could.
No one will notice.
1447
01:25:06,200 --> 01:25:07,534
Eighty thousand people might notice.
1448
01:25:07,700 --> 01:25:10,409
What about your brother?
I thought yous fell out?
1449
01:25:12,617 --> 01:25:14,867
You leave Ivan to me.
1450
01:25:15,034 --> 01:25:17,450
Trust me.
He'll want to come back for this.
1451
01:25:18,409 --> 01:25:20,409
McCormick!
1452
01:25:20,575 --> 01:25:22,700
There you are, you little shite.
1453
01:25:22,867 --> 01:25:25,075
I've been looking for you all over.
1454
01:25:26,159 --> 01:25:28,284
Plugger! I haven't seen you...
1455
01:25:28,450 --> 01:25:30,200
Shut the fuck up, burger boy.
1456
01:25:30,367 --> 01:25:32,325
Mr. Machin's been hearing
ugly rumours.
1457
01:25:32,492 --> 01:25:34,159
Word is the band is split up.
1458
01:25:34,325 --> 01:25:36,367
You come running home
with your tail between your legs?
1459
01:25:36,534 --> 01:25:38,742
Absolute crap.
This is the band.
1460
01:25:38,908 --> 01:25:41,242
- Hi.
- What?
1461
01:25:41,408 --> 01:25:45,492
And as it happens, we're over
to support U2 at Croke Park.
1462
01:25:45,658 --> 01:25:48,283
But I haven't seen your name
on any of the posters.
1463
01:25:48,450 --> 01:25:49,825
Is this true, twat features?
1464
01:25:49,992 --> 01:25:52,908
Yeah. U2, Croke Park. Yeah.
1465
01:25:57,617 --> 01:26:01,325
So, this should see me and
Mr. Machin straight, right?
1466
01:26:01,492 --> 01:26:04,742
OK. I'll call some people.
1467
01:26:04,908 --> 01:26:08,075
Check your story.
If you're lying,
1468
01:26:08,242 --> 01:26:10,617
I'll introduce the lot of yous
to Mr. Machin's bath.
1469
01:26:19,075 --> 01:26:20,450
His bath?
1470
01:26:21,200 --> 01:26:22,658
Jesus, Neil.
1471
01:26:22,825 --> 01:26:24,950
What are you still mixing
with those murderous bastards?
1472
01:26:25,117 --> 01:26:26,533
Like, thank God you're
telling the truth.
1473
01:26:26,700 --> 01:26:29,200
Or else we'd be in the shit.
1474
01:26:30,283 --> 01:26:32,908
Hi, Bono? Yeah, me, Neil again.
1475
01:26:33,075 --> 01:26:35,575
Just calling to check
you got my last message.
1476
01:26:35,742 --> 01:26:36,825
Got all my band sorted.
1477
01:26:36,992 --> 01:26:39,408
We're all in town and we're
raring to go, man.
1478
01:26:39,575 --> 01:26:41,450
OK, bye.
1479
01:26:48,908 --> 01:26:50,283
How are you, Dad?
1480
01:26:50,450 --> 01:26:53,200
Ivan, we'd hoped you might
call sooner, son.
1481
01:26:53,367 --> 01:26:54,617
Yeah, I know. I've just been...
1482
01:26:54,783 --> 01:26:57,283
I've been busy with the tour
and that and...
1483
01:26:58,825 --> 01:26:59,867
How's Neil?
1484
01:27:00,033 --> 01:27:01,700
Fucked, frankly.
1485
01:27:01,867 --> 01:27:04,283
He's been living like a tramp.
We haven't seen him for days
1486
01:27:04,450 --> 01:27:06,575
and I just had some hard arse round
looking for him.
1487
01:27:06,742 --> 01:27:08,700
- Who?
- Some kid.
1488
01:27:08,867 --> 01:27:12,367
The type who'd happily take your head
off. Is he in some kind of trouble?
1489
01:27:17,992 --> 01:27:21,033
Ah! Well, if it isn't
our very own rock star.
1490
01:27:21,200 --> 01:27:22,992
How are ya, Niall?
1491
01:27:23,158 --> 01:27:27,658
I'm just trying to track down Bono.
Do you know where he is?
1492
01:27:27,825 --> 01:27:30,825
The bands just back in town for the gig.
They're rehearsing down at the factory
1493
01:27:30,992 --> 01:27:32,908
and then they're holed up at
the Stanford doing press.
1494
01:27:33,075 --> 01:27:34,783
- Great.
- Morning, Gary.
1495
01:27:34,950 --> 01:27:36,450
How's Grace Jones?
1496
01:27:36,617 --> 01:27:39,658
Fucking terrifying.
What's he doing here?
1497
01:27:39,825 --> 01:27:41,700
Gary. Still writing
poof pieces for Bono
1498
01:27:41,867 --> 01:27:43,867
with your pen in one hand
and your prick in the other?
1499
01:27:44,033 --> 01:27:47,450
Could always do another piece on you.
The refugee from rock bottom.
1500
01:27:47,617 --> 01:27:50,242
I think you've done enough damage
after the last time.
1501
01:27:51,242 --> 01:27:53,408
And anyway it might be the best thing
that has ever happened,
1502
01:27:53,575 --> 01:27:57,450
because I am back here
to support... U2.
1503
01:27:58,825 --> 01:28:00,825
Hi. Hiya.
1504
01:28:00,992 --> 01:28:02,408
Neil McCormick here to see Bono.
1505
01:28:02,575 --> 01:28:04,867
He's working.
He don't take social calls.
1506
01:28:05,033 --> 01:28:06,617
You're not press, are ya?
1507
01:28:06,783 --> 01:28:10,075
- I hate fucking press.
- Yeah, me too.
1508
01:28:10,242 --> 01:28:11,450
I hate press.
1509
01:28:11,617 --> 01:28:14,742
I'm not press. I'm a friend of his,
we're... good mates.
1510
01:28:16,200 --> 01:28:18,033
Everyone in Dublin says that.
1511
01:28:18,200 --> 01:28:19,533
Well, what do you want me to do?
1512
01:28:19,700 --> 01:28:21,783
Flash my "I went to school
with Bono" card?
1513
01:28:21,950 --> 01:28:23,075
Yeah?
1514
01:28:30,242 --> 01:28:32,533
What do you mean
we're supporting U2?
1515
01:28:32,700 --> 01:28:35,367
Well, that's what Neil said.
Are you telling me he was having us on?
1516
01:28:35,533 --> 01:28:38,742
Maybe. I don't know?
It's news to bloody me, you know?
1517
01:28:38,908 --> 01:28:40,742
I just don't know what's going on
in Neil's head.
1518
01:28:40,908 --> 01:28:43,992
Well, he was acting a bit mental.
More so than usual, that is.
1519
01:28:44,158 --> 01:28:47,158
- And did he say where he was going?
- Sure, he was on the hunt for Bono.
1520
01:28:48,033 --> 01:28:49,367
Neil McCormick. Hot Press.
1521
01:28:53,658 --> 01:28:55,867
Hi. Here to see Bono.
1522
01:28:56,033 --> 01:28:58,450
Bono's not registered with us, sir.
1523
01:28:58,617 --> 01:28:59,908
No, he's not a guest.
He's with the band.
1524
01:29:00,075 --> 01:29:01,492
They're here for the press conference.
1525
01:29:01,658 --> 01:29:04,408
The band? And what band
would that be now?
1526
01:29:05,117 --> 01:29:06,533
I'll give you a clue.
1527
01:29:06,700 --> 01:29:08,991
I love clues. I love clues.
1528
01:29:09,158 --> 01:29:10,283
Bono!
1529
01:29:10,450 --> 01:29:15,575
Oh, right, Bono.
Bono is not registered with us.
1530
01:29:15,741 --> 01:29:18,866
Listen to me, you little tight arse.
We both know he's in the building.
1531
01:29:19,033 --> 01:29:21,241
There's a small army
of U2 fans outside.
1532
01:29:21,408 --> 01:29:23,658
So, just tell me the way
to the fucking conference.
1533
01:29:23,825 --> 01:29:25,033
He's not registered.
1534
01:29:25,200 --> 01:29:27,283
Security! Security!
1535
01:29:27,950 --> 01:29:30,116
Paul! Paul.
Its... it's Neil McCormick.
1536
01:29:30,283 --> 01:29:32,616
Hey, it's all right he's with me.
1537
01:29:33,908 --> 01:29:35,408
Jesus, Neil. You look different.
1538
01:29:35,575 --> 01:29:37,241
I thought you were off
touring the world?
1539
01:29:37,408 --> 01:29:38,741
Yeah, well, it's a long story.
1540
01:29:38,908 --> 01:29:41,825
Listen, while I have you, I did
just wanna firm up our support gig.
1541
01:29:41,991 --> 01:29:44,408
- The one you turned down?
- Yeah, yeah. That's the one.
1542
01:29:44,575 --> 01:29:47,033
Listen, I've had a bit of a rethink
and count me in.
1543
01:29:47,200 --> 01:29:51,200
Sorry, Neil. You said no. Call him crazy
but Bono did take that as a no.
1544
01:29:51,366 --> 01:29:53,908
Paul.
1545
01:29:54,075 --> 01:29:57,741
So that's it? End of story?
1546
01:29:57,908 --> 01:29:59,366
What can I say?
1547
01:29:59,533 --> 01:30:01,908
Now, if you'll excuse me?
We are kind of busy at the moment.
1548
01:30:02,075 --> 01:30:03,325
Might catch you at the party later.
1549
01:30:03,491 --> 01:30:05,241
Yeah, be sure and put me on the list.
1550
01:30:05,408 --> 01:30:07,783
Can I see your pass, please?
1551
01:30:07,950 --> 01:30:10,533
Gary Hagan, Hot Press. Some people say
you're on your way to becoming
1552
01:30:10,700 --> 01:30:13,700
- the biggest rock star on the planet.
- I wouldn't say that, Gary.
1553
01:30:13,866 --> 01:30:16,033
I mean, I'm only five foot nine
and that's with the hat.
1554
01:30:17,325 --> 01:30:20,700
If you want to print it.
Feel free, I'll read it.
1555
01:30:20,866 --> 01:30:24,991
You know it makes me laugh, I mean...
You hear a lot of people saying U2
1556
01:30:25,158 --> 01:30:27,033
they're going to be the next this,
the next that.
1557
01:30:27,200 --> 01:30:30,450
There was all this expectation
after The Unforgettable Fire.
1558
01:30:44,825 --> 01:30:46,241
- Excuse me.
- Yeah?
1559
01:30:46,408 --> 01:30:48,283
Can you tell me
where I can find Bono?
1560
01:30:54,741 --> 01:30:57,241
Bono? Bono.
1561
01:30:57,408 --> 01:31:01,450
No, there doesn't seem to be
anyone here by that name, sir. No.
1562
01:31:01,616 --> 01:31:03,366
Oh, except for that Bono.
1563
01:31:03,533 --> 01:31:05,783
- Yeah, that Bono.
- Ivan McCormick, come here.
1564
01:31:05,950 --> 01:31:07,991
Hey, Paul! How are ya?
1565
01:31:08,158 --> 01:31:10,116
The prodigal son returns.
1566
01:31:33,908 --> 01:31:36,491
Plugger.
Thank God that's you.
1567
01:31:36,658 --> 01:31:39,491
We just spoke with Jimmy O'Mahoney.
U2's roadie.
1568
01:31:39,575 --> 01:31:40,533
- What?
- Yeah.
1569
01:31:40,616 --> 01:31:42,741
He's heard no talk of you
playing with them, you bollix.
1570
01:31:42,908 --> 01:31:44,325
Get in the bastard car.
1571
01:31:44,866 --> 01:31:47,325
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
You're driving.
1572
01:31:47,491 --> 01:31:50,366
I'll be right behind you
with me little friend here.
1573
01:31:52,491 --> 01:31:54,366
And no funny shite.
1574
01:32:06,866 --> 01:32:10,158
Mr. Machin does sort of like you,
you know?
1575
01:32:10,325 --> 01:32:13,325
- Well, that's a relief.
- It's always harder when you like 'em.
1576
01:32:13,491 --> 01:32:16,116
What? Wait, what's harder?
1577
01:32:16,283 --> 01:32:19,866
We thought you were gonna be another
Bono. You had us all going there.
1578
01:32:20,033 --> 01:32:22,575
Yeah. I had myself going.
1579
01:32:30,283 --> 01:32:32,741
I spoke to McGuiness.
He said he looked pretty rough.
1580
01:32:32,908 --> 01:32:36,616
I'd no idea it'd got so bad.
Maybe he finally flipped?
1581
01:32:36,783 --> 01:32:40,491
It's been on the cards.
And to tell you the truth?
1582
01:32:40,658 --> 01:32:42,866
You might have had
something to do with it.
1583
01:32:45,408 --> 01:32:47,866
Everyone wants to be
a rock star, right?
1584
01:32:48,033 --> 01:32:49,783
Back at school,
if you'd have told me that four of us
1585
01:32:49,949 --> 01:32:52,616
would become the biggest
rock band on the planet,
1586
01:32:52,783 --> 01:32:54,783
I'd have asked who
the other three were.
1587
01:32:55,574 --> 01:32:57,324
You always were a cocky fucker.
1588
01:32:57,491 --> 01:32:59,491
You're everywhere.
1589
01:32:59,658 --> 01:33:03,283
The press, the posters
and the albums and awards.
1590
01:33:03,449 --> 01:33:08,324
And your face on every billboard
and limited edition china ware.
1591
01:33:08,491 --> 01:33:10,824
It's a good little earner,
the Bono tea set.
1592
01:33:10,991 --> 01:33:13,616
I think people like to smash it up.
1593
01:33:13,783 --> 01:33:16,449
We were going to take on the world
with our music.
1594
01:33:16,616 --> 01:33:19,533
Sure, when we got going there'd
be no fucking stopping us.
1595
01:33:19,699 --> 01:33:21,616
But you've got your own thing going on.
1596
01:33:21,783 --> 01:33:23,491
You're not still sore about
not being in the band?
1597
01:33:23,658 --> 01:33:25,533
No, no. I'm fine about that.
1598
01:33:25,699 --> 01:33:30,366
Not a day goes by when I don't thank
my lucky stars I'm not in your band.
1599
01:33:32,533 --> 01:33:35,366
What do you do when your best friends
become your greatest rivals?
1600
01:33:35,533 --> 01:33:38,116
What was I supposed to do?
Just... just lie down
1601
01:33:38,283 --> 01:33:41,491
and let my little brother get snapped up
by the competition? No, no.
1602
01:33:41,658 --> 01:33:43,908
Well, Neil wouldn't let me have you.
And I don't blame him.
1603
01:33:44,074 --> 01:33:46,574
I mean, if you were my brother
I wouldn't have let you join
1604
01:33:46,741 --> 01:33:50,449
- some other shitty garage band.
- Oh, shit. You were U2.
1605
01:33:50,616 --> 01:33:53,533
We didn't know that.
None of us did.
1606
01:33:53,699 --> 01:33:56,366
- And we were pretty shitty.
- Yeah.
1607
01:33:59,241 --> 01:34:01,949
I had it all planned out.
Form a band.
1608
01:34:02,116 --> 01:34:05,741
Given the choice, would you
really have picked us over him?
1609
01:34:05,908 --> 01:34:08,116
Release a series
of ground-breaking albums.
1610
01:34:08,283 --> 01:34:10,533
I'd wanna say, yes.
1611
01:34:10,699 --> 01:34:12,158
Tour the world's greatest stadiums.
1612
01:34:12,324 --> 01:34:15,783
But could you... have picked us
over your own brother?
1613
01:34:15,949 --> 01:34:18,991
Pull off the biggest rock and roll
invasion of America since the Beatles.
1614
01:34:23,783 --> 01:34:28,866
This was my life. Just waiting to happen
and all I had to do was live it.
1615
01:34:29,033 --> 01:34:31,116
There was just one problem.
1616
01:34:31,283 --> 01:34:32,908
Him.
1617
01:34:34,991 --> 01:34:37,658
Well, if you've got a problem, why
don't you just do something about it?
1618
01:34:37,824 --> 01:34:39,616
Oh, yeah? What?
1619
01:34:39,783 --> 01:34:41,699
What, what?
What should I do about it?
1620
01:34:43,574 --> 01:34:45,824
Will you keep your eyes on the road?
1621
01:34:49,158 --> 01:34:50,949
Hey, is that the...
1622
01:34:57,116 --> 01:34:58,783
Neil!
1623
01:34:59,283 --> 01:35:01,658
Neil! Neil!
1624
01:35:05,866 --> 01:35:08,324
Look, it's just a shame you can't
support us on Saturday.
1625
01:35:08,491 --> 01:35:09,616
What?
1626
01:35:09,783 --> 01:35:12,366
We offered you a support slot,
you said no.
1627
01:35:13,158 --> 01:35:14,783
What?
1628
01:35:18,533 --> 01:35:21,949
- He didn't tell you?
- No. He didn't tell me.
1629
01:35:26,491 --> 01:35:28,741
Would you be willing to repeat this
in a court of law?
1630
01:35:28,908 --> 01:35:30,533
On behalf of the defence?
1631
01:35:36,491 --> 01:35:37,699
- Whose defence?
- Mine.
1632
01:35:37,866 --> 01:35:40,408
Because I'm going to
bleeding murder him.
1633
01:36:05,491 --> 01:36:07,282
OK, I guess this is it.
Are you ready?
1634
01:36:12,199 --> 01:36:15,866
- For my 15 seconds of fame?
- Enough to put you off forever.
1635
01:36:18,532 --> 01:36:22,116
Get out of me fucking way.
You out of the way, now. Come on.
1636
01:36:22,282 --> 01:36:25,157
Bono. Bono.
1637
01:36:44,949 --> 01:36:47,116
Neil McCormick.
I'm a friend of the band's.
1638
01:36:47,282 --> 01:36:49,991
I should be under
Paul McGuinness's list.
1639
01:36:50,157 --> 01:36:52,491
- OK, go straight in.
- Thanks.
1640
01:40:13,199 --> 01:40:15,657
Neil. What the fuck are you doing?
1641
01:40:15,865 --> 01:40:17,240
Ivan.
1642
01:40:18,407 --> 01:40:21,490
What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be on tour.
1643
01:40:21,699 --> 01:40:24,157
Yeah, I know. I came back for you,
you dickhead.
1644
01:40:25,657 --> 01:40:27,407
- Yeah?
- Yeah, but...
1645
01:40:27,615 --> 01:40:30,532
...I'm an idiot because...
What happened to your face?
1646
01:40:30,740 --> 01:40:33,824
Never mind. Because I found out
about the U2 gig.
1647
01:40:34,032 --> 01:40:35,824
- Oh.
- Oh.
1648
01:40:35,990 --> 01:40:38,990
You turned down U2, Neil. Again.
1649
01:40:39,199 --> 01:40:42,907
On my behalf, again,
without telling me.
1650
01:40:43,699 --> 01:40:44,949
Again.
1651
01:40:45,157 --> 01:40:47,365
I just wanted us to do it on our own.
1652
01:40:47,574 --> 01:40:51,699
Why does everything that we ever do
always have to come back to them?
1653
01:40:51,865 --> 01:40:54,699
It's like some sick cosmic joke!
1654
01:40:57,574 --> 01:41:00,657
Have you heard this song? I mean,
is he taking the piss now or what?
1655
01:41:00,824 --> 01:41:04,574
He still hasn't found what he's looking
for. He's got everything he ever wanted.
1656
01:41:04,782 --> 01:41:07,865
No, he's got everything
that you ever wanted.
1657
01:41:08,032 --> 01:41:09,324
How do you know what he wants?
1658
01:41:09,532 --> 01:41:13,115
I mean, you're going on about him
like he's a fifty foot, singing genie
1659
01:41:13,324 --> 01:41:16,240
that you can't shove
back in the bottle. No!
1660
01:41:16,407 --> 01:41:18,615
He's Bono.
1661
01:41:18,824 --> 01:41:23,199
He's just Paul Hewson grown up.
And you need to get over it,
1662
01:41:23,407 --> 01:41:24,949
and get yourself to-fucking-gether,
1663
01:41:25,157 --> 01:41:28,407
so we can play this gig
and steal their thunder.
1664
01:41:30,657 --> 01:41:33,324
It's not happening. I spoke to
McGuinness. The gig is off.
1665
01:41:33,532 --> 01:41:36,449
Well, I told Bono that we'd do it.
1666
01:41:38,574 --> 01:41:40,365
What?
1667
01:41:40,532 --> 01:41:42,240
Even though you've
bollocksed it up again,
1668
01:41:42,449 --> 01:41:44,407
and probably don't deserve it,
1669
01:41:44,615 --> 01:41:45,865
it is on.
1670
01:41:46,074 --> 01:41:47,449
All you got to do is sing, man.
1671
01:41:47,657 --> 01:41:49,782
It's four numbers.
Just like back at school.
1672
01:41:49,949 --> 01:41:51,490
We're supporting U2!
1673
01:41:52,949 --> 01:41:54,740
We're supporting U...
1674
01:41:55,782 --> 01:41:56,782
...2.
1675
01:41:59,907 --> 01:42:01,615
- What the fuck is that?
- Just leave it, never mind.
1676
01:42:01,824 --> 01:42:03,782
What do you mean, never mind?
There was a firearm
1677
01:42:03,949 --> 01:42:05,740
shoved down the front of your trousers.
1678
01:42:06,782 --> 01:42:09,449
What would you have done if I wasn't
here? What's the plan, Neil?
1679
01:42:09,615 --> 01:42:11,824
Come down and stick that thing
to Bono's head?
1680
01:42:12,032 --> 01:42:15,282
- Don't be stupid.
- That's what it looks like, genius!
1681
01:42:15,449 --> 01:42:17,824
Like a complete nut job
trying to solve all his problems
1682
01:42:18,032 --> 01:42:19,907
by coming in here and killing Bono.
1683
01:42:40,699 --> 01:42:42,657
No.
1684
01:42:45,490 --> 01:42:47,699
There's two lads
in the toilet with a gun.
1685
01:42:49,115 --> 01:42:52,115
- I think we should probably leave now.
- Yeah, I think you're probably right.
1686
01:42:53,115 --> 01:42:54,657
No, fuck it. Go.
1687
01:42:54,824 --> 01:42:56,699
Move, move!
1688
01:42:56,907 --> 01:42:58,074
Get out of here.
1689
01:42:59,740 --> 01:43:01,449
Neil!
1690
01:43:04,240 --> 01:43:05,782
What do you think I am? Stupid?
1691
01:43:06,865 --> 01:43:08,407
Right, come here...
1692
01:43:08,615 --> 01:43:10,240
Piss off.
1693
01:43:10,407 --> 01:43:11,740
Ah, right.
1694
01:43:13,698 --> 01:43:16,073
Jump in.
You've business with Mr. Machin.
1695
01:43:16,240 --> 01:43:17,865
No, no, no, Plugger. Wait.
1696
01:43:18,032 --> 01:43:20,407
We got the gig.
We're supporting U2.
1697
01:43:20,615 --> 01:43:22,157
Is that what do you think I am?
Stupid?
1698
01:43:22,323 --> 01:43:24,698
I take it that's why you had the gun?
1699
01:43:24,907 --> 01:43:28,823
So... fill me in, brother.
1700
01:43:29,032 --> 01:43:32,115
How much are we into
Danny Machin for?
1701
01:43:32,282 --> 01:43:33,615
All in all?
1702
01:43:33,782 --> 01:43:36,407
- Thirteen grand, give or take.
- Thirteen grand?
1703
01:43:36,573 --> 01:43:39,490
What is that, five grand a kneecap
and three for our heads?
1704
01:43:40,407 --> 01:43:42,782
- That doesn't add up, Ivan.
- I don't care!
1705
01:43:42,990 --> 01:43:45,032
I should be on top of the world
but now I'm gonna die.
1706
01:43:45,240 --> 01:43:47,032
And it's your fault.
1707
01:43:47,198 --> 01:43:48,282
Again!
1708
01:44:01,740 --> 01:44:02,990
Got them.
1709
01:44:03,615 --> 01:44:04,948
Don't shoot me!
1710
01:44:05,115 --> 01:44:07,407
Get 'em out.
1711
01:44:07,573 --> 01:44:10,323
- Mr. Machin!
- Let's get this over with.
1712
01:44:10,823 --> 01:44:12,865
Mr. Machin,
you've got to believe us.
1713
01:44:13,073 --> 01:44:15,615
We've landed a really, really,
really massive gig.
1714
01:44:18,740 --> 01:44:20,865
Sit the fuck down.
1715
01:44:21,823 --> 01:44:24,365
The press want to bury me.
1716
01:44:24,573 --> 01:44:27,573
It's a fucking witch-hunt!
1717
01:44:42,282 --> 01:44:46,282
And I'm calling in all debts.
1718
01:44:46,448 --> 01:44:48,032
Well...
1719
01:44:49,615 --> 01:44:52,615
We can't pay but...
but if you just maybe give us some...
1720
01:44:52,782 --> 01:44:57,240
I'm not giving anything!
No more fucking favours!
1721
01:44:59,782 --> 01:45:03,407
Now you're not leaving here,
till you pay me back.
1722
01:45:06,032 --> 01:45:09,782
And if you can't pay me back,
you're not leaving at all.
1723
01:45:13,323 --> 01:45:15,407
We're really gonna die.
1724
01:45:15,573 --> 01:45:19,573
Now, Plugger here tells me
you were a journalist.
1725
01:45:19,740 --> 01:45:22,948
Uh, yeah. Yeah, rock critic
for Hot Press.
1726
01:45:23,115 --> 01:45:24,490
A few bits for the school mag.
1727
01:45:24,657 --> 01:45:26,532
I tell you, my Pulitzer Prize
is still a ways off, I...
1728
01:45:26,698 --> 01:45:29,365
Shut up, Neil. Neil's just
being modest, Mr. Machin.
1729
01:45:29,532 --> 01:45:30,948
He's a great writer.
He's brilliant.
1730
01:45:31,115 --> 01:45:33,323
It's his calling.
Isn't that right, Neil?
1731
01:45:36,698 --> 01:45:39,032
Yeah. Yeah.
1732
01:45:39,198 --> 01:45:42,073
My calling. You need someone
with press credentials.
1733
01:45:42,240 --> 01:45:44,782
Someone to tell your side of the story.
Set the record straight.
1734
01:45:44,990 --> 01:45:46,490
The man behind the myth,
kind of thing.
1735
01:45:46,657 --> 01:45:49,198
Without bias, without agenda.
1736
01:45:53,865 --> 01:45:56,115
Oh, there's an agenda, all right.
1737
01:45:57,698 --> 01:45:59,782
I assume you want to live?
1738
01:46:01,657 --> 01:46:04,323
OK. So you do this thing for me.
You write my story,
1739
01:46:04,490 --> 01:46:07,698
you sell it to the papers
and you pay me back every penny.
1740
01:46:07,865 --> 01:46:10,740
You can ask me anything you like.
But you stay here and you write
1741
01:46:10,907 --> 01:46:13,073
till you're finished and it better be
good enough to publish.
1742
01:46:13,240 --> 01:46:14,823
Hang on.
We can't stay here.
1743
01:46:14,990 --> 01:46:16,532
Like we said,
we've got this big gig on...
1744
01:46:16,698 --> 01:46:19,407
You're not going anywhere,
you daft bollock.
1745
01:46:19,573 --> 01:46:22,823
Either of you.
You can sharpen his pencils.
1746
01:46:30,240 --> 01:46:32,198
- Come on.
- Will you stop your pacing?
1747
01:46:32,365 --> 01:46:34,907
I can't. We're supposed to be
sound checking right now.
1748
01:46:35,073 --> 01:46:37,740
You were the one that convinced him
this was such a great idea.
1749
01:46:37,906 --> 01:46:42,031
In what fucking universe
is this my fault?
1750
01:46:42,198 --> 01:46:45,365
You have a gift.
Never mind the pop star bollocks.
1751
01:46:45,531 --> 01:46:49,365
You could be the next James Joyce.
Only with better punctuation.
1752
01:46:49,531 --> 01:46:51,781
Oh, here we go.
1753
01:46:51,948 --> 01:46:54,823
We may not have time to finish this.
1754
01:46:57,448 --> 01:46:59,906
- Will we take the Land Rover?
- You take it.
1755
01:47:04,323 --> 01:47:05,906
Right, lads. Let's go.
1756
01:47:06,073 --> 01:47:10,240
And if I don't see your piece
in the papers by the weekend...
1757
01:47:10,406 --> 01:47:14,573
...it's bath time with Plugger.
Understand?
1758
01:47:22,573 --> 01:47:24,823
Come on. Machin's in there.
1759
01:47:27,740 --> 01:47:29,656
Go, go, go, go, go!
1760
01:47:34,281 --> 01:47:36,323
- Don't move!
- Right, fucking don't move!
1761
01:47:37,865 --> 01:47:40,323
Seamus. Ronan.
1762
01:47:45,490 --> 01:47:46,948
Right, lads.
Get ready to jump out.
1763
01:47:47,115 --> 01:47:49,156
Dublin road's just over that hill.
1764
01:47:49,323 --> 01:47:52,406
It's been rock and roll, lads.
Now bugger off outta here.
1765
01:47:52,573 --> 01:47:54,281
- What, here?
- Yeah.
1766
01:47:54,865 --> 01:47:57,115
- It's in the middle of nowhere.
- Piss off!
1767
01:47:57,281 --> 01:47:58,781
Plugger!
1768
01:48:00,323 --> 01:48:01,656
I'm fucking freezing.
1769
01:48:02,615 --> 01:48:04,448
This way, is it?
1770
01:48:16,990 --> 01:48:19,073
- What's so funny?
- Being alive.
1771
01:48:19,240 --> 01:48:21,323
It's fucking absurd but it's great,
isn't it?
1772
01:48:21,490 --> 01:48:22,531
Yeah.
1773
01:48:23,906 --> 01:48:26,406
Do you reckon that's the Dublin bus?
1774
01:48:26,573 --> 01:48:27,906
If it is, we still might make the gig.
1775
01:48:28,073 --> 01:48:29,573
No, we're miles away,
we'll never make it.
1776
01:48:29,740 --> 01:48:32,031
Yeah, of course we'll make it.
We can do anything we wanna do.
1777
01:48:32,198 --> 01:48:33,448
Be anything we wanna be.
1778
01:48:33,615 --> 01:48:35,823
- Will you just shut up and run?
- Right.
1779
01:48:36,531 --> 01:48:37,948
I just want you to know...
1780
01:48:38,115 --> 01:48:40,698
I never doubted us for a second.
I never doubted we'd make it.
1781
01:48:40,865 --> 01:48:43,531
- We're not there yet.
- Oh, trust me, we'll get there.
1782
01:48:43,698 --> 01:48:46,573
I can feel it. It's meant to be.
140055
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