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1
00:01:01,909 --> 00:01:04,241
Lexx 2.03 Lyekka
2
00:02:06,386 --> 00:02:08,532
All night by the dead Zev.
3
00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:12,113
All night by dead Zev I did lay.
4
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:15,343
If only my tears could be real,
5
00:02:16,175 --> 00:02:18,695
I would rust myself away.
Oh Zev! Zev!
6
00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:52,879
You want me to just -
7
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you want me
8
00:02:56,179 --> 00:02:56,946
to just -
9
00:02:57,383 --> 00:02:58,423
say it?
10
00:03:00,451 --> 00:03:01,969
Yeah, go ahead.
11
00:03:02,187 --> 00:03:04,181
Say what you're thinking.
12
00:03:09,281 --> 00:03:11,903
Er - the thing is, Lyekka,
no-one really notices me much.
13
00:03:12,130 --> 00:03:14,906
and you're popular, even though
some people say bad things about you.
14
00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:18,934
but you're different from those
other girls,you're nicer.
15
00:03:19,451 --> 00:03:21,761
So, I was wondering if maybe somehow,
you might, ummm -
16
00:03:22,379 --> 00:03:23,858
You can say it, Stanley.
17
00:03:27,755 --> 00:03:29,872
Consider going to the dance with me?
18
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:31,921
Me?
19
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,044
Go to the dance with you,
Stanley Tweedle?
20
00:03:35,661 --> 00:03:37,774
Yeah - could be fun.
21
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,891
Girls, you gotta hear this!
22
00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:50,220
he wants to go to the dance with me!
23
00:03:53,783 --> 00:03:55,471
Just
24
00:03:56,489 --> 00:03:57,602
but...
25
00:04:29,274 --> 00:04:30,636
What was that?!
26
00:04:33,434 --> 00:04:35,408
Who's there?!
27
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,765
Lyekka? Lyekka - yes. Stanley?
Lyekka?! I'd like to dance with you.
28
00:04:58,649 --> 00:04:59,963
This is strange.
29
00:05:03,934 --> 00:05:05,368
I was just...
30
00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:08,606
dreaming about you.
31
00:05:08,906 --> 00:05:11,034
and now, here you are.
32
00:05:11,317 --> 00:05:12,806
but that was such a long time ago.
33
00:05:13,305 --> 00:05:16,996
Maybe I am the woman of your dreams.
34
00:05:18,357 --> 00:05:20,315
Maybe.
35
00:05:20,315 --> 00:05:22,287
Once you were, for while.
36
00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:26,664
How did you get here?
37
00:05:27,797 --> 00:05:28,838
I came from your dream.
38
00:05:30,753 --> 00:05:32,276
I don't understand.
39
00:05:32,997 --> 00:05:34,739
I don't understand either - oops.
40
00:05:49,774 --> 00:05:51,732
I'd better go wake up Kai.
41
00:06:10,423 --> 00:06:12,580
Eagle 5, this is Mission Control
42
00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:15,915
We're all green lights down here.
43
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:17,567
Whenever you're ready, captain.
44
00:06:18,709 --> 00:06:19,771
For generations
45
00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:23,584
we have dreamed of being able to see
into space beyond the Great Ion Veil.
46
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,880
Today, the first men from
our small planet
47
00:06:27,449 --> 00:06:30,229
have begun to travel beyond
that Great Ion Cloud,
48
00:06:30,606 --> 00:06:34,362
that shrouds our small planet
in silence and isolation and
49
00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:35,676
we will...
50
00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,250
we will...
51
00:06:38,477 --> 00:06:39,583
er, we will...
52
00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:40,469
begin to see,
53
00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:42,099
what, er
54
00:06:42,622 --> 00:06:44,780
wondrous and great
55
00:06:45,737 --> 00:06:46,613
things -
56
00:06:50,381 --> 00:06:52,593
We're all ears, captain.
57
00:06:53,365 --> 00:06:54,159
So, er.
58
00:06:55,317 --> 00:06:57,716
we the crew of the Eagle 5.
59
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:01,462
if we do encounter, make
first contact with alien beings,
60
00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,658
it is a friendship greeting
61
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:09,675
from the children of our small
but great planet of Potatoho
62
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,576
It's a great moment in history.
63
00:07:12,895 --> 00:07:14,406
Hull temperature up 70% captain.
64
00:07:16,442 --> 00:07:19,454
Mission control, this is great,
great big goodbye time.
65
00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:21,813
We will enter the Ion Veil in
66
00:07:22,185 --> 00:07:24,869
12 seconds, 10 seconds now, 9, 8...
67
00:07:24,869 --> 00:07:26,270
One great big goodbye to Eagle 5,
68
00:07:26,567 --> 00:07:28,964
from all the boys here
at Mission Control.
69
00:07:28,964 --> 00:07:32,369
Talk to you again in 22 months.
Good luck, fellas.
70
00:08:25,862 --> 00:08:27,850
Hull temperature dropping.
71
00:08:29,697 --> 00:08:31,580
Captain, let me be the first to tell you
72
00:08:31,581 --> 00:08:35,677
that weare the first to perforate
the Ion Veil.
73
00:08:38,339 --> 00:08:38,853
That's great.
74
00:08:40,069 --> 00:08:40,944
Damage?
75
00:08:41,784 --> 00:08:43,210
Couple of scratches
76
00:08:45,049 --> 00:08:47,885
but no broken bones.
best as I can tell Captain.
77
00:08:47,885 --> 00:08:53,065
Dig dig! Mash mash! Fat ass!
78
00:08:56,624 --> 00:08:57,685
You hear anything out there?
79
00:08:57,893 --> 00:08:59,130
I hear squat so far, sir.
80
00:08:59,921 --> 00:09:00,872
Ok.
81
00:09:01,967 --> 00:09:03,021
Gentlemen -
82
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:07,359
we're on our way.
83
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:29,627
Eyes like jewels, skin sublime,
Zev was the zeviest of all time.
84
00:09:31,685 --> 00:09:33,745
We got a visitor, tin head.
85
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,667
Not interested!
86
00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:40,613
Mouth of an angel,
hair beyond compare
87
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,323
Oh Zev, Zev, Zev,
will you ever be there?
88
00:09:45,881 --> 00:09:47,409
I don't know how it happened,
89
00:09:47,410 --> 00:09:50,465
but there's a girl I used to know,
and now she's on the Lexx!
90
00:09:51,188 --> 00:09:51,791
At least, I think it's a girl.
91
00:09:52,415 --> 00:09:54,364
Please, I'm concentrating!
92
00:09:55,579 --> 00:09:58,545
Hands of gold, buttery thighs,
93
00:09:58,874 --> 00:10:01,645
Breasts that were the perfect size.
94
00:10:02,389 --> 00:10:03,440
Who are you talking about?
95
00:10:04,786 --> 00:10:05,038
Zev of course.
96
00:10:05,442 --> 00:10:07,928
you pale imitation of the human
female form.
97
00:10:20,544 --> 00:10:21,967
You have need of me?
98
00:10:23,127 --> 00:10:23,464
Er - yeah, I think so.
99
00:10:27,057 --> 00:10:28,881
Umm - This is Lyekka. I used to
know a Lyekka, a long time ago.
100
00:10:28,882 --> 00:10:31,930
and I was dreaming about her,
and I woke up, and there she is -
101
00:10:32,610 --> 00:10:35,007
at least I - something that looks like her.
102
00:10:36,945 --> 00:10:38,379
What sort of a thing are you?
103
00:10:39,090 --> 00:10:40,330
A plant, I think.
104
00:10:41,294 --> 00:10:43,058
I came from Stan's dream.
105
00:10:45,041 --> 00:10:46,639
It must have been a good dream.
106
00:10:48,489 --> 00:10:49,288
No, not really.
107
00:10:49,943 --> 00:10:51,444
Wait, wait, wait!
108
00:10:52,407 --> 00:10:55,622
The thing is, that she's, um, -
109
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,475
she's smooth, right round the bend.
110
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:00,699
No sex parts.
111
00:11:01,038 --> 00:11:02,668
And she doesn't know
how she got here.
112
00:11:11,751 --> 00:11:13,065
Isn't this the ultimate fantasy?
113
00:11:13,783 --> 00:11:15,250
Not even close.
114
00:11:16,332 --> 00:11:20,736
The ultimate fantasy is an all expenses
paid dreamdate with a super model
115
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:23,046
who only wants me for my body.
116
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,213
Which super model?
117
00:11:26,024 --> 00:11:27,524
Any super model.
118
00:11:29,506 --> 00:11:32,101
Bando - you wouldn't know what to do
with a super model if you had one.
119
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,652
Oh, that hurts, Moss.
120
00:11:35,155 --> 00:11:38,707
I would take my super model to a
real expensive restaurant -
121
00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:41,520
fancy, fancy, fancy.
122
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,525
But she can't concentrate
on the food,
123
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:45,726
cause she's so turned on.
124
00:11:49,514 --> 00:11:50,685
She likes astronauts?
125
00:11:51,341 --> 00:11:53,391
She likes this astronaut - big time.
126
00:11:54,073 --> 00:11:55,791
There's candlelight,
127
00:11:56,553 --> 00:11:57,835
some nice music,
128
00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:01,088
everything's real classy.
129
00:12:01,811 --> 00:12:03,802
We got a bottle of real wine,
130
00:12:04,279 --> 00:12:06,817
she starts playing footsie under
the table.
131
00:12:07,915 --> 00:12:08,806
And then?
132
00:12:09,528 --> 00:12:10,885
You mean after dinner?
133
00:12:11,942 --> 00:12:14,770
I give her the big one.
134
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:19,141
Wait a minute - does Sally Sue
know you're renting out the big one?
135
00:12:19,141 --> 00:12:21,891
Sally Sue is not part of my fantasy.
136
00:12:22,964 --> 00:12:24,968
She's part of my real life.
137
00:12:26,161 --> 00:12:27,541
OK. Fair enough.
138
00:12:29,413 --> 00:12:30,595
What about you, Boosh?
139
00:12:30,934 --> 00:12:31,459
My fantasy?
Yeah
140
00:12:33,265 --> 00:12:34,995
If I had a fantasy, this would be it.
141
00:12:34,995 --> 00:12:36,813
No, no, what's your fantasy?
142
00:12:36,813 --> 00:12:37,334
This.
143
00:12:38,089 --> 00:12:40,202
I've been waiting my
whole life for this moment.
144
00:12:40,618 --> 00:12:41,110
You see,
145
00:12:42,030 --> 00:12:45,062
I wanna go down
in the history books as the first,
146
00:12:45,543 --> 00:12:49,644
the very first to come into contact
with intelligent alien life forms.
147
00:12:50,147 --> 00:12:51,143
How about you, Moss?
148
00:12:51,821 --> 00:12:52,941
Being out here your ultimate fantasy?
149
00:12:53,298 --> 00:12:54,282
No siree.
150
00:12:54,510 --> 00:12:55,475
What then?
151
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:56,652
Values.
152
00:12:57,856 --> 00:12:58,643
I don't get it.
153
00:12:58,643 --> 00:13:00,294
Values.
154
00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:02,937
The quiet, good, simple life
we have back on Potatoho.
155
00:13:04,754 --> 00:13:07,021
You see, I like,
I like to be in a garden.
156
00:13:07,831 --> 00:13:09,660
I like to work the soil with my hands,
157
00:13:10,119 --> 00:13:11,850
get everything just right.
158
00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:15,094
And then just as the sun changes,
159
00:13:16,035 --> 00:13:18,807
Becky Boo'll come out on the back
porch and she'll say
160
00:13:19,541 --> 00:13:23,221
"EJ, are you gonna stop playing
around in that silly old garden,
161
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:26,427
and come in here and start playing
around with me??"
162
00:13:27,512 --> 00:13:28,662
Well, you know what they say captain?
163
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:29,966
No, what?
164
00:13:30,361 --> 00:13:32,057
You can take the boy out of Potatoho,
but you -
165
00:13:32,527 --> 00:13:34,324
- can't take the Potatoho -
out of the boy!
166
00:13:37,573 --> 00:13:39,972
Captain? I think I hear something.
167
00:13:40,803 --> 00:13:42,818
Real distant, but it might be
something interesting.
168
00:13:47,176 --> 00:13:48,412
What are you?
169
00:13:48,851 --> 00:13:51,051
A broken heart in a metal head.
170
00:13:51,543 --> 00:13:55,212
My darling Zev is dead, dead, dead!
171
00:13:57,199 --> 00:13:59,159
Oh, how full and moist your lips.
172
00:13:59,159 --> 00:14:02,181
Oh, how round and choice your hips.
173
00:14:02,902 --> 00:14:05,379
And your voice, so full of glee...
174
00:14:05,991 --> 00:14:08,236
Please be Zev again for me.
175
00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:10,743
Zev was a crew member. She died.
176
00:14:11,903 --> 00:14:13,185
That's all that's left of her.
177
00:14:18,246 --> 00:14:20,803
I like Stanley better than I like you.
178
00:14:21,592 --> 00:14:22,336
Why?
179
00:14:23,091 --> 00:14:25,191
I don't like dead things.
180
00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:30,020
I do not understand what she is.
181
00:14:31,477 --> 00:14:32,849
I'm hungry!
182
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,011
Come in.
183
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,069
This is Eagle 5.
184
00:14:38,923 --> 00:14:41,003
Can you identify yourself?
185
00:14:42,356 --> 00:14:43,601
I repeat.
186
00:14:43,937 --> 00:14:45,358
this is Eagle 5.
187
00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:47,077
It seems we have more visitors.
188
00:14:47,292 --> 00:14:48,585
Can you acknowledge?
189
00:14:48,785 --> 00:14:50,910
Great - open house on the Lexx.
190
00:14:51,117 --> 00:14:53,275
I repeat, this is Eagle 5.
191
00:14:54,271 --> 00:14:55,989
Can you acknowledge?
192
00:14:56,679 --> 00:14:58,388
We are intelligent.
193
00:15:05,967 --> 00:15:08,020
I don't know if this is such
a good idea.
194
00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:10,074
maybe we should just blast 'em?
195
00:15:10,466 --> 00:15:11,922
They don't show any signs of aggression.
Yet
196
00:15:14,091 --> 00:15:15,436
I like them.
197
00:16:21,616 --> 00:16:23,730
Greetings,
198
00:16:24,068 --> 00:16:26,105
from the children of the planet
199
00:16:26,621 --> 00:16:28,006
Potatoho
200
00:16:29,911 --> 00:16:31,149
This is -
201
00:16:31,685 --> 00:16:33,886
a potato..
202
00:16:33,886 --> 00:16:35,867
It is a symbol
203
00:16:35,867 --> 00:16:37,641
of the fertile soil
204
00:16:38,902 --> 00:16:41,943
of our beautiful planet.
205
00:16:44,178 --> 00:16:46,182
I am -
206
00:16:47,878 --> 00:16:49,301
EJ Moss
207
00:16:49,871 --> 00:16:51,151
Moss
208
00:16:51,853 --> 00:16:53,134
captain
209
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,476
of the Eagle 5.
210
00:16:56,647 --> 00:17:00,525
And er, this is LL Boosh..
211
00:17:00,996 --> 00:17:03,265
He is the science officer.
212
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:09,331
and this is PT Bando.
213
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:14,551
he is the, er, the flight officer,
the flight officer, navigator -
214
00:17:15,163 --> 00:17:16,291
We can understand you.
215
00:17:16,947 --> 00:17:18,458
You can?
216
00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:20,548
Yes
217
00:17:20,899 --> 00:17:21,843
we can.
218
00:17:23,201 --> 00:17:23,803
I am -
219
00:17:24,483 --> 00:17:25,749
Stanley Tweedle,
220
00:17:26,439 --> 00:17:27,764
captain of the Lexx.
221
00:17:29,054 --> 00:17:31,365
Er - you can, you can take off
your helmets.
222
00:17:32,690 --> 00:17:33,676
Well
223
00:17:48,297 --> 00:17:51,463
um - what is the Lexx?
224
00:17:53,302 --> 00:17:56,258
Er, well, Lexx - why don't you
tell them who you are?
225
00:17:56,729 --> 00:17:58,941
I am the Lexx.
226
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,404
Hi, Hi... And I'm Lyekka.
Yeah, well, Lyekka's, um, er, well -
227
00:18:08,405 --> 00:18:10,128
Lyekka's actually, well,
pretty difficult to explain
228
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:12,766
You're humanoids. You're humanoids!
229
00:18:20,387 --> 00:18:21,087
Hi, hi. You're humanoids.
Hi, how are ya?
230
00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:24,545
Well, I definitely am.
231
00:18:27,171 --> 00:18:29,296
Lyekka - I'm not, well, I think
she's a plant,
232
00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:32,808
and Kai - well, Kai was
233
00:18:33,630 --> 00:18:34,188
You were?
234
00:18:34,845 --> 00:18:35,621
Yes I was,
235
00:18:35,971 --> 00:18:38,436
until I died, 2009 years ago.
236
00:18:39,407 --> 00:18:41,936
You - wow.
237
00:18:46,022 --> 00:18:46,701
Isn't that something?
238
00:18:57,961 --> 00:19:00,863
OK. Well, This is
the cryochamber here.
239
00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:02,842
This is a cryopod, and er -
240
00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:05,713
Is that where you sleep?
241
00:19:07,671 --> 00:19:09,558
No, no, no - Kai stays in this one,
242
00:19:09,995 --> 00:19:11,598
this one, open one,
243
00:19:11,898 --> 00:19:14,773
and this is the cryopod control unit.
244
00:19:17,127 --> 00:19:20,433
and um - oh look, here, here,
right here.
245
00:19:21,979 --> 00:19:26,081
This is 790. He's a semi
intelligent robot head.
246
00:19:26,409 --> 00:19:27,391
with the emphasis on semi!
247
00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:29,588
Get lost, creeps, all of you.
248
00:19:29,828 --> 00:19:33,321
Leave me alone with the most perfect
woman who ever lived.
249
00:19:33,528 --> 00:19:35,972
Yeah, we used to have another
crew member. Her name was Zev.
250
00:19:36,189 --> 00:19:39,835
She got blasted into that gooey
protein in that jar there.
251
00:19:40,185 --> 00:19:41,279
What was she like?
252
00:19:41,279 --> 00:19:44,728
You heard me. The most perfect woman
who ever lived.
253
00:19:44,728 --> 00:19:48,112
The most perfect woman who
ever could be.
254
00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:52,223
Zev and I..
255
00:19:52,406 --> 00:19:54,803
didn't, er - but she was OK.
It's too bad.
256
00:19:57,175 --> 00:19:58,781
She's nice!
257
00:19:59,327 --> 00:20:01,179
Ah! Kai, kill her at once, please!
258
00:20:01,583 --> 00:20:03,183
She's eating my darling Zev!
259
00:20:03,477 --> 00:20:05,041
I will not do that, 790.
260
00:20:05,775 --> 00:20:09,827
Yeah, well, 790 has an a
ttitude problem - easily agitated.
261
00:20:10,222 --> 00:20:11,272
Kill him too!
262
00:20:11,523 --> 00:20:13,002
I will also not kill him -
263
00:20:14,228 --> 00:20:14,731
now.
264
00:20:15,213 --> 00:20:17,140
And you call yourself an assassin!
265
00:20:19,712 --> 00:20:20,961
I'm hungry.
266
00:20:21,519 --> 00:20:22,537
and I like you.
267
00:20:22,843 --> 00:20:24,568
OK, well, we'll get you something.
268
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:27,401
Um - you guys, you guys hungry at all?
269
00:20:28,466 --> 00:20:30,251
Huh - you betcha!
270
00:20:36,057 --> 00:20:40,392
So, just order whatever it is you
like fellas, and Lexx makes it for ya -
271
00:20:41,695 --> 00:20:43,586
most days,
272
00:20:43,587 --> 00:20:47,368
if all his special organs are working
right - which isn't all the time!
273
00:20:50,730 --> 00:20:53,568
How, er - how do you recreate
the protein?
274
00:20:54,245 --> 00:20:55,413
Recreate the protein?
275
00:20:57,604 --> 00:21:03,352
Yeah. Well, I assume that you create
diverse and complex foodstuffs
276
00:21:03,604 --> 00:21:05,323
from simple protein?
277
00:21:05,956 --> 00:21:07,896
I don't know - who's counting?
278
00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:12,483
Lexx - feed 'em.
279
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:14,454
Go ahead.
280
00:21:14,781 --> 00:21:17,125
Yeah? OK, I'll have some - mmm,
281
00:21:18,603 --> 00:21:19,344
potatoes.
282
00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:23,121
Sweet garden potatoes, please.
283
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,241
Scalloped for me, please.
284
00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:28,249
Just a plain order of big old fries
for me please.
285
00:21:41,195 --> 00:21:43,801
Yeah, well, I'm not sure potatoes
are Lexx's strong point,
286
00:21:44,852 --> 00:21:46,340
but it will taste potato-like -
287
00:21:47,315 --> 00:21:49,079
if you use your imagination. Lyekka?
288
00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:53,961
I'm not hungry for potatoes.
289
00:21:58,397 --> 00:21:59,916
So, er - well, what's so great
about Potatoho anyway?
290
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:02,666
What is it, got a lot of potatoes there,
291
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:05,445
or is it just shaped like a potato,
292
00:22:06,179 --> 00:22:09,419
or does it smell like a potato?
293
00:22:09,951 --> 00:22:11,417
Let me tell you something, captain.
294
00:22:12,731 --> 00:22:15,435
I'll tell you what the great thing
about Potatoho is.
295
00:22:15,927 --> 00:22:17,440
It's the great people.
296
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,704
That and our great values.
297
00:22:20,318 --> 00:22:21,587
Isn't that right fellas?
Yes sir
298
00:22:22,704 --> 00:22:25,496
I mean, we may seem backward
to you captain,
299
00:22:26,230 --> 00:22:31,300
but I don't think there's a man of us here'd
exchange any of this for what we got on Potatoho.
300
00:22:32,329 --> 00:22:34,235
I mean, when I think of my, my farm,
301
00:22:34,881 --> 00:22:36,687
my little garden,
302
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:38,701
my Becky Boo,
303
00:22:39,490 --> 00:22:40,124
my girl -
304
00:22:40,714 --> 00:22:42,138
I mean that, that can't be beat.
305
00:22:42,761 --> 00:22:47,296
The only thing that does beat that captain, is snuggling up for a big cuddle with my Sally Sue.
306
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:48,739
Oh, my Becky Boo -
307
00:22:49,002 --> 00:22:49,900
My Sally Sue -
308
00:22:50,557 --> 00:22:52,869
You have to excuse them, Captain Tweedle.
They get it just about right
309
00:22:52,869 --> 00:22:54,532
except for one little detail.
Oh yeah?
310
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:58,371
I'm the only man gets to go home
at night to my Mary Moo.
311
00:23:00,238 --> 00:23:01,353
Sure.
312
00:23:02,437 --> 00:23:03,511
She's just great.
313
00:23:05,076 --> 00:23:07,353
You guys are lucky, I guess.
314
00:23:07,605 --> 00:23:09,344
You got girls to go home to.
Yeah
315
00:23:17,550 --> 00:23:18,784
Captain Excuse me. Could you tell me
something? Yes?
316
00:23:20,591 --> 00:23:26,911
Did you ever come across any other intelligent
life forms out in the great unknown yonder?
317
00:23:27,667 --> 00:23:29,209
Are you kidding me?!
318
00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:30,458
Where are you guys from?
319
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,621
Captain - our small but great planet Potatoho
320
00:23:37,190 --> 00:23:41,439
is located inside the Great Ion Veil,
321
00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:45,445
so it is blind to any
electromagnetic signals
322
00:23:45,762 --> 00:23:47,886
that might be coming from the great
unknown yonder.
323
00:23:48,159 --> 00:23:50,819
Guess that'd keep ya a bit out of touch.
324
00:23:51,379 --> 00:23:53,609
Captain - how exactly
do you pilot the Lexx?
325
00:23:53,727 --> 00:23:56,223
Drive this thing? Oh, it's very technical.
326
00:23:56,420 --> 00:23:59,523
But actually, all you gotta know
is that Lexx does
327
00:23:59,723 --> 00:24:03,843
what I tell it to, when I tell it to -
me and only me.
328
00:24:04,743 --> 00:24:07,159
Well, for instance, if I was to say, er,
329
00:24:07,648 --> 00:24:09,783
Lexx, blow up that small planet -
330
00:24:10,056 --> 00:24:12,245
As you request, Stan.
331
00:24:29,219 --> 00:24:29,799
Good shot.
332
00:24:31,059 --> 00:24:33,862
Potato-riffic! Big time!
333
00:24:35,394 --> 00:24:38,186
Captain - where's our capsule?
334
00:24:42,589 --> 00:24:45,369
Well, actually, er, Lexx just
blew it up. Sorry.
335
00:24:53,090 --> 00:24:56,287
So - how are we gonna get back home?
336
00:25:26,419 --> 00:25:27,720
I'm only saying it once.
337
00:25:30,886 --> 00:25:32,720
We'll do one hour recon.
338
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,216
I'll go forward, Boosh, you aft,
Bando, you got the bridge area.
339
00:25:35,216 --> 00:25:36,541
One hour recon, bridge area, check.
340
00:25:36,758 --> 00:25:38,653
One hour aft, check.
341
00:25:38,653 --> 00:25:41,895
We'll meet in one hour. Be careful of that guy
with the hair. - One hour. Yes captain.
342
00:25:43,965 --> 00:25:44,873
Watch out for the girl.
343
00:25:44,873 --> 00:25:46,099
Yes sir. I'll just be thinking
of Sally Sue.
344
00:25:47,106 --> 00:25:48,168
And me Mary Moo.
345
00:25:48,408 --> 00:25:49,502
One hour, gentlemen.
346
00:26:18,169 --> 00:26:19,273
Hello? Hi. Who's there?
347
00:26:19,664 --> 00:26:20,371
It's me - Lyekka.
348
00:26:26,633 --> 00:26:27,827
Where are you?
349
00:26:30,816 --> 00:26:32,009
I'm right here.
350
00:26:36,621 --> 00:26:38,088
Are you...
351
00:26:40,288 --> 00:26:41,646
alone?
352
00:26:42,533 --> 00:26:43,945
I'm not alone right now.
353
00:26:44,601 --> 00:26:46,320
I'm with you.
354
00:26:50,448 --> 00:26:52,178
Would you like to have me,
355
00:26:52,955 --> 00:26:54,860
Flight Officer Bando?
356
00:26:59,875 --> 00:27:01,134
No no no, I have a -
357
00:27:01,134 --> 00:27:02,086
What?
358
00:27:07,233 --> 00:27:09,928
Yeah, I would like to have you.
359
00:27:24,921 --> 00:27:26,072
So, er - you know what I am?
360
00:27:28,086 --> 00:27:29,936
You're an astronaut.
361
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:34,349
I'm a pretty big astronaut.
362
00:27:35,878 --> 00:27:37,689
Big where it counts.
363
00:27:38,455 --> 00:27:39,999
That's great!
364
00:27:40,677 --> 00:27:42,331
You're great!
365
00:27:53,504 --> 00:27:57,761
You can call me Big Boy Bando.
Big Boy Bando.
366
00:28:06,599 --> 00:28:09,173
I bet I'm the biggest boy you ever had.
367
00:28:12,470 --> 00:28:13,619
Who's a big boy?
You're a big boy
368
00:28:16,150 --> 00:28:16,850
Louder!
You're a big boy!
369
00:28:20,946 --> 00:28:22,686
I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy!
I'm Big Boy Bando!
370
00:28:54,863 --> 00:28:58,596
I would like now, on behalf of all
the great citizens of Potatoho,
371
00:28:59,155 --> 00:29:06,110
to take a moment of heartfelt prayer,
372
00:29:06,110 --> 00:29:09,659
And we pray that our boys
373
00:29:09,944 --> 00:29:11,311
will do us proud, that they -
374
00:29:11,311 --> 00:29:12,034
Sir?
375
00:29:12,976 --> 00:29:13,676
Not now -
376
00:29:13,676 --> 00:29:16,178
that our brave boys, who represent
377
00:29:16,179 --> 00:29:18,681
the small but great
planet of Potatoho, will -
378
00:29:19,195 --> 00:29:20,288
Sir?!
379
00:29:30,808 --> 00:29:33,681
Creamy calves, delicious toes.
380
00:29:34,743 --> 00:29:38,313
Zev is gone, oh worst of woes!
381
00:29:38,513 --> 00:29:39,846
Cheer up, pal.
382
00:29:40,624 --> 00:29:42,168
You ain't seen the girls on Potatoho yet.
383
00:29:45,183 --> 00:29:46,551
I can't find -
384
00:29:48,551 --> 00:29:49,800
I can't find Bando!
385
00:29:51,507 --> 00:29:53,412
You go that way, I'll go this.
386
00:31:06,472 --> 00:31:10,130
Hello? Hi. I was really thirsty,
but I'm still kind of -
387
00:31:11,104 --> 00:31:12,668
hungry.
388
00:31:18,967 --> 00:31:20,500
What are you?
389
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,325
I'm Lyekka, silly.
390
00:31:23,695 --> 00:31:25,381
Where'd you come from?
391
00:31:26,167 --> 00:31:27,645
I'm a friend of Stanley's.
392
00:31:30,362 --> 00:31:32,170
Would you like to be with me?
393
00:31:37,947 --> 00:31:40,484
This will be just between you and me, right?
394
00:31:40,944 --> 00:31:42,843
Our little secret?
395
00:31:46,908 --> 00:31:48,780
Touch me.
396
00:32:28,115 --> 00:32:29,537
Did you see that?!
397
00:32:33,252 --> 00:32:34,751
I saw it!
398
00:32:35,812 --> 00:32:38,563
I saw it! We definitely got ourselves
a third stage encounter!
399
00:32:40,621 --> 00:32:43,500
Well, Boosh - why don't you
look after it?
400
00:32:44,005 --> 00:32:45,676
Say hi for us, OK?
401
00:32:46,008 --> 00:32:48,594
I'm gonna be the first to make contact.
402
00:32:51,187 --> 00:32:53,444
Would you like to have me, Boosh?
403
00:32:54,899 --> 00:32:56,761
I can do anything.
404
00:32:59,910 --> 00:33:02,051
Isn't this the ultimate fantasy?
405
00:33:02,620 --> 00:33:03,560
That's great, Boosh. Yeah...
406
00:33:08,928 --> 00:33:10,580
Boosh, I'm right here.
407
00:33:12,474 --> 00:33:13,339
Guys -
408
00:33:13,940 --> 00:33:17,354
we've got a definite alien life form confirmed!
409
00:33:17,698 --> 00:33:18,464
Really?
410
00:33:18,704 --> 00:33:19,700
That's great Boosh.
411
00:33:20,235 --> 00:33:22,569
So you ended up being the very first.
412
00:33:24,003 --> 00:33:25,766
Yeah - you beat us to it, Boosh.
413
00:33:26,919 --> 00:33:29,752
Boosh, turn around, look.
414
00:33:30,877 --> 00:33:32,856
I'm inside now, Boosh
415
00:33:35,897 --> 00:33:38,321
This is truly incredible!
416
00:33:38,954 --> 00:33:42,049
I'm a real live alien, Boosh.
417
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:49,200
I've been saving this special
potato ever since I was a kid.
418
00:33:49,885 --> 00:33:51,696
I wanted to be the first
419
00:33:51,875 --> 00:33:54,397
to give it to an alien.
420
00:33:55,298 --> 00:33:59,131
Would you also like
to make me feel good, Boosh?
421
00:34:04,116 --> 00:34:05,440
I wanna be the first.
422
00:34:07,958 --> 00:34:09,847
Come closer.
423
00:34:13,382 --> 00:34:15,406
I wanna be the first.
424
00:34:18,188 --> 00:34:21,539
Would you like to be the first
to make an alien feel good?
425
00:34:24,861 --> 00:34:27,167
I wanna be the first.
426
00:34:28,755 --> 00:34:33,629
I wanna be the first
to make an alien feel really good.
427
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,690
Stanley. I have been observing Lyekka,
428
00:35:20,216 --> 00:35:22,808
and searching my memories
to better understand her .
429
00:35:24,606 --> 00:35:25,115
What?
430
00:35:25,596 --> 00:35:28,345
Her food gathering strategy
is to imitate other life forms,
431
00:35:28,706 --> 00:35:31,967
so these targeted life forms will not
act defensively before being consumed.
432
00:35:32,872 --> 00:35:35,231
Lyekka consumed Boosh and Bando.
433
00:35:36,654 --> 00:35:38,460
What, you mean she ate them?
Yes.
434
00:35:41,833 --> 00:35:43,323
Oh, that's just great!
435
00:35:45,962 --> 00:35:47,199
we gonna save Moss?
436
00:35:48,173 --> 00:35:51,369
I have no motivation to save Moss from Lyekka.
437
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,369
or Lyekka from Moss.
438
00:36:06,976 --> 00:36:07,720
Captain?
439
00:36:07,917 --> 00:36:08,738
What?
440
00:36:10,359 --> 00:36:11,552
Where's Boosh and Bando?!
441
00:36:11,552 --> 00:36:11,990
I don't know.
442
00:36:12,723 --> 00:36:14,935
I had a rendezvous with my men 37 minutes ago!
Yeah?
443
00:36:16,127 --> 00:36:18,172
Men from my unit are well trained,
and are never late!
444
00:36:20,079 --> 00:36:21,315
Stan, we're here.
445
00:36:23,877 --> 00:36:24,865
I don't get it.
446
00:36:25,390 --> 00:36:26,539
What don't you get, captain?
447
00:36:26,912 --> 00:36:29,057
You sure you gave me the right
co-ordinates for Potatoho?
448
00:36:29,057 --> 00:36:30,317
I know where my planet is.
449
00:36:30,656 --> 00:36:33,175
Yeah, well, maybe, but we're here,
and it's not.
450
00:36:34,315 --> 00:36:35,255
What are you saying?
451
00:36:35,782 --> 00:36:39,308
I'm saying that it looks like Potatoho
has - gone for a walk.
452
00:36:41,459 --> 00:36:42,851
Don't joke with me.
453
00:36:44,012 --> 00:36:45,769
Well, maybe it's a travelling planet,
454
00:36:46,328 --> 00:36:49,711
or if it's a potato maybe somebody ate it.
455
00:36:51,068 --> 00:36:51,912
That's, that's...
456
00:36:52,514 --> 00:36:53,423
it's, what?
457
00:36:53,423 --> 00:36:53,903
right - oh, oh,
458
00:36:54,406 --> 00:36:59,739
sweet potato,
459
00:36:59,739 --> 00:37:01,722
no, sweet potato -
460
00:37:03,363 --> 00:37:04,612
You blew it up, didn't you?!
No, no!
461
00:37:05,558 --> 00:37:07,064
Yes you did, you blew it up.
462
00:37:08,005 --> 00:37:10,237
First the capsule -
an accident, oh right!
463
00:37:10,567 --> 00:37:13,654
and then my friends, sure,
and now my planet!
464
00:37:13,654 --> 00:37:15,549
Oh god, my Potatoho's gone!
465
00:37:17,905 --> 00:37:19,185
What's that?
466
00:37:26,556 --> 00:37:27,191
What's this?
467
00:37:27,398 --> 00:37:29,544
I did not blow up Potatoho.
468
00:37:30,552 --> 00:37:31,341
What's this?!
469
00:37:32,162 --> 00:37:33,519
I didn't do anything to your buddies!
470
00:37:34,165 --> 00:37:35,468
It's her, it's that!
471
00:37:35,468 --> 00:37:35,993
What?
472
00:37:36,133 --> 00:37:37,562
It's Lyekka, she's a plant!
473
00:37:37,841 --> 00:37:39,659
No she's not, she's more human
than you or me.
474
00:37:39,909 --> 00:37:43,437
No, she's a plant from my dreams that
eats people, Kai told me!! Kai? Yes, Kai.
475
00:37:48,681 --> 00:37:50,477
The robot head said he was an assassin.
476
00:37:51,353 --> 00:37:52,479
That dirty bastard.
477
00:37:53,036 --> 00:37:54,084
Where is he?!
478
00:37:54,084 --> 00:37:55,922
You don't wanna mess with Kai, Moss, trust me!
479
00:37:55,922 --> 00:37:56,998
Yes I do!
480
00:37:57,357 --> 00:37:59,778
It's not Kai you gotta worry about, it's Lyekka!.
481
00:38:01,015 --> 00:38:04,147
Zev, those lips, that kiss you blew.
482
00:38:04,147 --> 00:38:07,135
Zev's the girl I want to -
483
00:38:07,683 --> 00:38:08,613
huh?!
484
00:38:09,772 --> 00:38:10,932
What do you think you're doing?!
485
00:38:10,932 --> 00:38:12,082
Put Zev down!
486
00:38:13,385 --> 00:38:13,998
Horror!
487
00:38:14,414 --> 00:38:15,267
Outrage!
488
00:38:15,267 --> 00:38:16,219
Madness!
489
00:38:16,986 --> 00:38:18,912
Where's the assassin?!
490
00:38:19,458 --> 00:38:22,602
You, whoever you are!
make her put my beloved down!
491
00:38:23,116 --> 00:38:24,418
Where's my buddies?
492
00:38:24,952 --> 00:38:26,746
I kind of ate them.
493
00:38:27,801 --> 00:38:29,652
They were really tasty too.
494
00:38:31,304 --> 00:38:33,790
You heard her - she ate them.
Now kill her!
495
00:38:34,283 --> 00:38:36,966
And then kill yourself - unless there's
others onboard!
496
00:38:37,172 --> 00:38:39,427
If so, kill them first before
killing yourself -
497
00:38:40,030 --> 00:38:41,760
after you return Zev, of course.
498
00:38:42,416 --> 00:38:44,036
Shut up!
499
00:38:47,376 --> 00:38:48,821
Robot heads.
500
00:38:49,806 --> 00:38:51,406
Really dead guys.
501
00:38:51,908 --> 00:38:54,043
Weird little chicks from
who knows where.
502
00:38:54,570 --> 00:38:56,816
Potatoho gone.
503
00:39:01,368 --> 00:39:03,327
I don't know what you know,
little lady -
504
00:39:04,684 --> 00:39:05,966
but I'm gonna find out,
505
00:39:07,038 --> 00:39:08,876
and you're gonna be really sorry.
506
00:39:11,427 --> 00:39:13,979
No! Bring back my Zev!!
507
00:39:21,333 --> 00:39:22,712
What happened?
508
00:39:23,156 --> 00:39:25,587
She took Zev.
I think she might eat her!
509
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,153
Tweedle - I promise you.
If you can somehow save her protein,
510
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:34,076
I'll never say another bad word
about you ever again!
511
00:39:34,437 --> 00:39:35,821
I promise!
512
00:39:39,678 --> 00:39:42,121
Hold on there, missy.
Where's my buddies?
513
00:39:44,451 --> 00:39:45,338
I told you.
514
00:39:45,941 --> 00:39:47,003
I was hungry -
515
00:39:47,462 --> 00:39:48,731
and they were yummy.
516
00:39:48,731 --> 00:39:51,294
Don't laugh at me. I'm having a tough day.
517
00:39:51,797 --> 00:39:53,297
Where's my buddies?
518
00:39:53,865 --> 00:39:55,223
You're not afraid of me?
519
00:39:55,691 --> 00:39:56,445
are you?
520
00:39:57,299 --> 00:39:58,044
Why?
521
00:39:58,569 --> 00:40:01,098
Lady, I'm from Potatoho.
522
00:40:07,438 --> 00:40:09,638
Would you like to make me happy?
523
00:40:14,195 --> 00:40:15,224
What?
524
00:40:16,340 --> 00:40:18,749
I would like to make you happy.
525
00:40:21,486 --> 00:40:23,709
You know, I just don't get
young people these days.
526
00:40:28,951 --> 00:40:30,258
Kai! Don't touch her, she's got Zev.
527
00:40:30,882 --> 00:40:31,879
Get out of my way.
528
00:40:33,302 --> 00:40:35,121
I will make you happy.
529
00:40:36,499 --> 00:40:38,086
Get out of my way.
530
00:40:38,711 --> 00:40:41,710
It's time for little women
to make way for the men.
531
00:40:54,697 --> 00:40:58,687
EJ! Are you gonna play in that silly old garden
all day, or are you gonna play with me?
532
00:41:09,375 --> 00:41:10,810
Garden.
533
00:41:21,258 --> 00:41:22,626
Good garden.
534
00:41:24,666 --> 00:41:26,287
Good virtue.
535
00:41:28,286 --> 00:41:29,824
Drink up.
536
00:41:31,773 --> 00:41:34,313
Garden is virtue.
537
00:41:50,222 --> 00:41:52,713
Cheer up, son.
538
00:41:53,687 --> 00:41:57,213
Garden is value.
539
00:42:00,782 --> 00:42:05,326
Home sweet home Potatoho.
540
00:42:06,683 --> 00:42:08,885
Whatever makes you happy, dear.
541
00:42:18,818 --> 00:42:20,514
Zev! Kai - use your brace!
542
00:42:20,864 --> 00:42:21,477
To do what?
543
00:42:21,662 --> 00:42:23,413
Smash it open, get Zev out of there!
544
00:42:25,951 --> 00:42:27,804
Look, don't hurt Lyekka, OK?
545
00:42:28,153 --> 00:42:29,118
Who cares about Lyekka?
546
00:42:29,511 --> 00:42:30,496
She's eating Zev!
547
00:42:30,933 --> 00:42:34,209
Kai, please Kai, shoot, hurry!
548
00:42:34,701 --> 00:42:36,968
Wait - Lyekka can tell us what's going on.
549
00:42:36,968 --> 00:42:38,791
Kill the murderer!
550
00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,094
Lyekka, where are the other two astronauts?
551
00:42:41,401 --> 00:42:42,485
I ate them both.
552
00:42:43,346 --> 00:42:44,409
they were tasty.
553
00:42:44,409 --> 00:42:46,213
See - she's a killer!
554
00:42:46,474 --> 00:42:48,226
A stone cold killer!
555
00:42:48,674 --> 00:42:50,480
Both - why did you eat the third?
556
00:42:50,699 --> 00:42:51,948
I used his protein,
557
00:42:52,495 --> 00:42:55,868
and Zev's - to make you a present.
558
00:42:55,868 --> 00:42:57,083
A present?
559
00:42:57,361 --> 00:42:59,442
Because I want to make you happy.
560
00:43:00,873 --> 00:43:03,159
I looked inside you while you were sleeping,
561
00:43:03,616 --> 00:43:06,391
and I took the form of a girl I saw there.
562
00:43:06,792 --> 00:43:08,796
I knew right away that I liked you.
563
00:43:09,209 --> 00:43:11,694
What are you talking about,
what present? What - ?!
564
00:44:34,970 --> 00:44:35,988
Xev? You're different
565
00:44:37,620 --> 00:44:39,711
but it is really you!
566
00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:42,776
I had to go on your description.
567
00:44:43,066 --> 00:44:44,400
I hope she's OK.
568
00:44:44,663 --> 00:44:47,029
She's perfect!
569
00:44:47,973 --> 00:44:49,348
I'm back!
570
00:44:57,650 --> 00:44:59,072
I'm not hungry anymore.
571
00:44:59,959 --> 00:45:01,864
I have to rest for a while.
572
00:45:02,707 --> 00:45:04,393
Is that OK with you, Stan?
573
00:45:06,238 --> 00:45:07,864
You're OK with me, Lyekka.
574
00:45:11,084 --> 00:45:14,468
But what happens when you
wake up and you're hungry again?
575
00:45:15,059 --> 00:45:16,910
Then I will need to eat again.
576
00:45:17,424 --> 00:45:19,767
We will try to find you a planet
suitable to your needs.
577
00:45:20,889 --> 00:45:22,563
That would be nice.
578
00:45:31,090 --> 00:45:34,528
Sweet dreams.
579
00:45:45,886 --> 00:45:46,390
I, um -
580
00:45:46,649 --> 00:45:48,089
we all missed you.
581
00:45:48,338 --> 00:45:50,676
Not as much as me, maggot brain.
582
00:45:50,911 --> 00:45:54,184
You promised there were going
to be no more insults.
583
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:55,485
I lied.
584
00:46:06,153 --> 00:46:09,756
Hi. It is nice to see you again, Xev.
585
00:46:10,696 --> 00:46:13,478
Maybe she can help bring you
back to life too.
586
00:46:14,791 --> 00:46:16,258
I do not contain protein.
587
00:46:21,273 --> 00:46:23,401
I guess I'd better get dressed.
588
00:46:23,708 --> 00:46:24,188
How?
589
00:46:24,659 --> 00:46:26,115
Well, I'll have to make something.
590
00:46:26,608 --> 00:46:27,427
Out of what?
591
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,507
Cluster lizard, of course.
40771
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