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1
00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:02,442
- What's the damage?
2
00:00:03,401 --> 00:00:04,486
- It's on the house.
3
00:00:04,527 --> 00:00:06,154
- Oh, Dad, I know
business has been slow--
4
00:00:06,196 --> 00:00:07,489
- $4.50.
5
00:00:09,657 --> 00:00:10,784
- Keep the change.
6
00:00:10,825 --> 00:00:11,951
- 50ยข?
7
00:00:11,993 --> 00:00:14,412
That's your tip?
8
00:00:14,454 --> 00:00:15,997
- Well, yeah,
that's, like, 15%.
9
00:00:16,039 --> 00:00:18,416
- It's 11%.
10
00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:22,086
I'm glad I'm not
stripping for you.
11
00:00:22,128 --> 00:00:24,506
I'd have to go home
with change in my panties.
12
00:00:30,929 --> 00:00:32,055
Warmer.
13
00:00:40,063 --> 00:00:41,815
[bell clanging]
14
00:00:41,856 --> 00:00:44,192
Big tipper here!
We got a big tipper!
15
00:00:45,985 --> 00:00:48,613
- * It's true *
16
00:00:48,655 --> 00:00:52,742
* The marriage that we once
had now is through *
17
00:00:52,784 --> 00:00:56,746
* And now we're doing
all that we can do *
18
00:00:56,788 --> 00:01:01,376
* To keep us all together
as a crew *
19
00:01:01,417 --> 00:01:05,171
* Just do as we say,
not as we do *
20
00:01:05,213 --> 00:01:09,175
* We really thought
that we were done *
21
00:01:09,217 --> 00:01:11,553
* But we've just begun *
22
00:01:13,596 --> 00:01:14,931
[buzzer blares]
23
00:01:14,973 --> 00:01:16,516
- And that's 14 losses
in a row
24
00:01:16,558 --> 00:01:19,686
for the Boston Celtics,
a terrible losing streak.
25
00:01:19,727 --> 00:01:22,814
Trey Taylor,
upset on the sideline.
26
00:01:22,856 --> 00:01:24,149
- Poor Trey.
27
00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:26,359
- Forget Trey.
Look around!
28
00:01:26,401 --> 00:01:28,570
This losing streak is bad
for my business.
29
00:01:28,611 --> 00:01:31,656
- Maybe if you had a TV
that was made this century.
30
00:01:31,698 --> 00:01:33,116
- Who can afford a new TV?
31
00:01:33,158 --> 00:01:34,659
I'm thinking about selling
the one I got.
32
00:01:34,701 --> 00:01:37,036
- Whoa, Dad, no one's
gonna buy that old TV.
33
00:01:37,078 --> 00:01:39,706
- Hey, before you go.
34
00:01:39,747 --> 00:01:41,040
It's 50 bucks.
35
00:01:41,082 --> 00:01:42,584
Small dent, but it's something.
36
00:01:42,625 --> 00:01:45,920
- Oh, Dad, please, that--
that money wasn't a loan.
37
00:01:45,962 --> 00:01:47,380
It was a gift.
I don't need it back.
38
00:01:47,422 --> 00:01:51,426
- Oh! You don't need
three grand, Rockefeller?
39
00:01:51,468 --> 00:01:53,595
Must be nice.
40
00:01:53,636 --> 00:01:55,346
I've never been in debt
in my life,
41
00:01:55,388 --> 00:01:56,931
and it's weighing on me.
Just take it.
42
00:01:56,973 --> 00:01:58,391
- You sold your blood?
43
00:01:58,433 --> 00:02:00,852
- I donated,
and they gave me money.
44
00:02:00,894 --> 00:02:03,271
- When you donate something
and they give you money,
45
00:02:03,313 --> 00:02:06,357
that's called
selling something.
46
00:02:06,399 --> 00:02:08,359
- What else am I gonna do
with my blood?
47
00:02:08,401 --> 00:02:11,863
It's just swishing around
in my arteries, doing nothing.
48
00:02:11,905 --> 00:02:13,573
- I'm not taking
your literal blood money.
49
00:02:13,615 --> 00:02:16,242
- Take it.
I wish my body made it faster,
50
00:02:16,284 --> 00:02:18,328
but I can get you more
next week.
51
00:02:18,369 --> 00:02:19,746
- Things will turn around.
52
00:02:19,788 --> 00:02:22,040
I-if there's anything I can do,
just say the word.
53
00:02:22,081 --> 00:02:24,667
- Now that you mention it,
54
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:26,961
I need Trey to do me a favor.
55
00:02:27,003 --> 00:02:28,755
- Dad, we can't ask Trey
for money.
56
00:02:28,797 --> 00:02:30,173
- I'm not asking for money.
57
00:02:30,215 --> 00:02:32,008
I need him to send
a player over here
58
00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:34,093
for a meet and greet.
59
00:02:34,135 --> 00:02:36,554
You said, "Say the word."
60
00:02:36,596 --> 00:02:38,556
- Yeah, but I can't start
asking Trey for favors.
61
00:02:38,598 --> 00:02:42,268
- You just now said,
"Say the word."
62
00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:44,187
- I should have
excluded the words
63
00:02:44,229 --> 00:02:45,396
"Trey," "favor," and "ask."
64
00:02:45,438 --> 00:02:47,273
- It'd be good for him too.
65
00:02:47,315 --> 00:02:50,568
He sends a player over,
it creates community goodwill.
66
00:02:50,610 --> 00:02:51,903
It's a win-win.
67
00:02:51,945 --> 00:02:54,739
I'd ask him myself,
but I can't go hat in hand.
68
00:02:54,781 --> 00:02:57,742
- But it's okay for me
to go hat in hand?
69
00:02:57,784 --> 00:02:59,452
- It's not you asking.
70
00:02:59,494 --> 00:03:00,495
I'm asking.
71
00:03:00,537 --> 00:03:02,038
Just put the words
in your mouth,
72
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,456
you go over there,
open your mouth,
73
00:03:03,498 --> 00:03:05,500
the words come out,
and they're from me.
74
00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:08,753
- Let me think about it.
I don't like
75
00:03:08,795 --> 00:03:10,797
mixing family with...family.
76
00:03:10,839 --> 00:03:12,340
- Hey, wait.
77
00:03:13,508 --> 00:03:15,885
That's 3 bucks
towards the next 50.
78
00:03:15,927 --> 00:03:18,972
[upbeat rock music]
79
00:03:19,013 --> 00:03:20,473
- Grace, dinner's here!
80
00:03:20,515 --> 00:03:22,559
You're sure you won't stay
for a slice?
81
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,436
- Yeah, Dad, you can have
some of mine.
82
00:03:24,477 --> 00:03:26,896
- Mm, thanks, but Dad's
watching his tummy,
83
00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:29,482
and I'd rather not
watch it explode.
84
00:03:29,524 --> 00:03:32,318
- Mom, I just beat these two
at Monopoly so bad.
85
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,070
At one point, Dad had
to borrow money from me
86
00:03:34,112 --> 00:03:35,864
so he could pay me rent.
- What?
87
00:03:35,905 --> 00:03:37,991
- Yes, your daughter's
quite the loan shark.
88
00:03:38,032 --> 00:03:40,076
The vig is 20%.
89
00:03:40,118 --> 00:03:41,911
She now owns
my blue cashmere sweater.
90
00:03:41,953 --> 00:03:44,581
- So soft.
91
00:03:44,622 --> 00:03:46,458
- When I couldn't pay rent
on Marvin Gardens,
92
00:03:46,499 --> 00:03:48,376
she made me bark like a dog.
93
00:03:49,502 --> 00:03:51,379
- Please be kind to each other.
94
00:03:53,089 --> 00:03:55,049
- She's not the person
you think she is.
95
00:03:55,091 --> 00:03:56,050
- Yes, I am.
96
00:03:56,092 --> 00:03:58,386
Sit, Jimmy. Sit.
97
00:03:58,428 --> 00:04:01,306
- So how's Trey holding up?
98
00:04:01,347 --> 00:04:02,474
- How do you mean?
99
00:04:02,515 --> 00:04:04,142
- Well, Celtics are
in the toilet,
100
00:04:04,184 --> 00:04:07,395
and you consoling him
has become a meme.
101
00:04:09,022 --> 00:04:10,356
- He's fine.
102
00:04:10,398 --> 00:04:11,733
You know,
but when he gets here,
103
00:04:11,775 --> 00:04:14,027
let's try not to mention
the team, okay?
104
00:04:14,068 --> 00:04:15,528
You know, don't say "Celtics,"
105
00:04:15,570 --> 00:04:16,863
"basketball," "basket,"
or "ball."
106
00:04:16,905 --> 00:04:18,823
Don't say "lose," "lost,"
"losing," or "loss."
107
00:04:18,865 --> 00:04:20,992
Don't say "dog," "wallet,"
"keys," or "virginity"--
108
00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:22,035
anything he's lost.
109
00:04:22,076 --> 00:04:23,203
[door closes]
110
00:04:23,244 --> 00:04:25,997
And don't give him any advice.
111
00:04:26,039 --> 00:04:29,209
- The coach has gotta work
on basic skills with them.
112
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:32,921
Shooting drills, passing
drills, and conditioning.
113
00:04:32,962 --> 00:04:35,799
- Thank you, Jimmy,
but they're all pretty fit.
114
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,801
- Hey, why don't you just
get all-new players?
115
00:04:40,303 --> 00:04:42,847
- I'll give that
some thought, Grace.
116
00:04:42,889 --> 00:04:44,682
- Why don't you two be kind,
go in the living room,
117
00:04:44,724 --> 00:04:46,392
be kind, finish your pizza,
be kind.
118
00:04:47,894 --> 00:04:49,270
Hey, hon.
- Hi, baby.
119
00:04:56,277 --> 00:04:58,613
- B-T-dubs,
loving that beard, bro.
120
00:04:58,655 --> 00:05:01,116
- Thanks, homeslice.
Um...
121
00:05:01,157 --> 00:05:03,743
but it's not for style.
122
00:05:03,785 --> 00:05:05,036
It's for good juju.
123
00:05:05,078 --> 00:05:07,747
So no shaving
124
00:05:07,789 --> 00:05:09,749
until we snap
this losing streak.
125
00:05:09,791 --> 00:05:11,251
- I wouldn't get
too worried about it.
126
00:05:11,292 --> 00:05:12,710
All teams have
unlucky stretches.
127
00:05:12,752 --> 00:05:14,295
- And I've been praying
every night
128
00:05:14,337 --> 00:05:15,505
that things will turn around.
129
00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:17,340
- Yeah, well, pray extra hard,
130
00:05:17,382 --> 00:05:19,676
because Boston's not happy.
131
00:05:19,717 --> 00:05:21,261
Today, I walked
into Dunkin' Donuts,
132
00:05:21,302 --> 00:05:23,513
and they just said, "Nope."
133
00:05:24,722 --> 00:05:26,850
- That shirt is
really good on you.
134
00:05:30,270 --> 00:05:31,396
- What do you want?
135
00:05:31,438 --> 00:05:32,689
- Look, you know that I have
136
00:05:32,730 --> 00:05:34,315
never asked you
for anything before,
137
00:05:34,357 --> 00:05:36,443
even though I drove you home
from your colonoscopy,
138
00:05:36,484 --> 00:05:38,778
which I was glad to do,
you know, for you
139
00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:41,114
and your colon.
140
00:05:41,156 --> 00:05:42,115
- Spit it out, Jim.
141
00:05:42,157 --> 00:05:43,283
- Okay.
142
00:05:43,324 --> 00:05:44,909
Business has been slow
at my dad's bar,
143
00:05:44,951 --> 00:05:46,870
so he wants you to send
a player down
144
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:49,873
for a meet and greet--but hey,
it's a win for you too.
145
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:52,459
Dad gets a Celtic,
and you get community goodwill.
146
00:05:54,752 --> 00:05:57,589
Okay, it's in no way
a win for you.
147
00:05:57,630 --> 00:06:00,175
The truth is, last month,
I threw my dad
148
00:06:00,216 --> 00:06:01,509
a few grand
to cover some bills.
149
00:06:01,551 --> 00:06:03,470
It was a gift, not a loan,
150
00:06:03,511 --> 00:06:05,138
but he insists
on paying me back.
151
00:06:05,180 --> 00:06:06,473
It's--it's maddening.
152
00:06:06,514 --> 00:06:07,724
If we were Vikings,
I would have
153
00:06:07,765 --> 00:06:09,225
pushed him
off a cliff a long time ago.
154
00:06:10,643 --> 00:06:12,395
- Jim, I just don't have
the bandwidth.
155
00:06:12,437 --> 00:06:14,481
- Look, my dad has been
selling his blood.
156
00:06:14,522 --> 00:06:17,358
And I'm not sure how much blood
he even has anymore.
157
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:21,488
- All right, I guess I could
send over Yuri Kobilska.
158
00:06:21,529 --> 00:06:24,491
- There's a Celtic
named Kobilska?
159
00:06:24,532 --> 00:06:27,577
Does he come on a roll
with mustard?
160
00:06:27,619 --> 00:06:29,704
- He's a new guy, Slovakian.
161
00:06:29,746 --> 00:06:31,080
I was gonna send him
back to the G League,
162
00:06:31,122 --> 00:06:33,124
but you know what,
I'll keep him one more week
163
00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:34,125
just for you.
164
00:06:34,167 --> 00:06:35,543
- For my dad.
165
00:06:35,585 --> 00:06:37,378
Uh, so his name again
was Yuri...
166
00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:38,838
- Kobilska.
167
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,340
- [spits] Done.
168
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,453
- That good beard juju
kicked in.
169
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,456
Kobilska's led us
to eight straight wins.
170
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:56,167
- Yet still no shaving.
171
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:58,502
- Obviously, if I shave now,
we'd lose again.
172
00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:00,838
I mean, that's Juju 101.
173
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,049
- Syracuse didn't offer
a degree in juju.
174
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,550
[mellow rock music]
175
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,385
- Yuri, you dominated tonight--
176
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:08,804
a triple-double,
including 14 assists.
177
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,765
- I think we played well
as a team,
178
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:14,018
but all glory goes to God.
179
00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:16,354
- So Yuri's coming.
Dad's gonna have a big night.
180
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:18,439
It's Linsanity all over again.
181
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,733
- We market tested
"Yur-insanity."
182
00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:22,902
It looked better on paper.
183
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:29,033
* *
184
00:07:29,075 --> 00:07:30,701
We messed with the juju.
185
00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:33,746
- Honey, I'm sorry.
186
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:36,582
I just wanted to kiss you
without getting lacerations.
187
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,542
- Can you not see
there's a causal connection
188
00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,002
between us losing last night
189
00:07:40,044 --> 00:07:42,672
and me trimming my beard
to now resemble an Amish elder?
190
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,550
- Is that thy carriage
parked outside?
191
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:49,261
Because thy horse has pooped.
192
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:50,513
- It's not funny.
193
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,722
- What's the matter with him?
194
00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:53,724
- Trey thinks the Celtics lost
last night
195
00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:55,101
because he trimmed his beard.
196
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,812
- The juju's been disrupted.
197
00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,313
- Don't sweat it.
It was one game.
198
00:07:59,355 --> 00:08:01,732
- If I would have just left
the hair on my face alone,
199
00:08:01,774 --> 00:08:03,442
there was a clear path
to a title.
200
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:06,028
But no, you wanted a kiss.
201
00:08:08,114 --> 00:08:10,074
- I think we're gonna go.
202
00:08:10,116 --> 00:08:11,909
Um, come on,
let's get you a donut.
203
00:08:11,951 --> 00:08:14,620
I'm buying.
- You're gonna have to buy.
204
00:08:16,789 --> 00:08:18,958
- There's three grand.
We're square.
205
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,584
- Wow, you're--
you're pulling in that much?
206
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:21,711
- Piece of cake!
207
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,337
I got a $20 cover.
208
00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:24,714
Drinks cost double tonight.
209
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:28,009
It's called dynamic pricing.
210
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:31,178
You see, son, some people just
have a natural business sense.
211
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,597
No matter what ups and downs
the economy takes,
212
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,599
they can still turn a buck.
213
00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:37,727
And it happens to be the Kid.
214
00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,939
We got a problem.
215
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:46,986
- Thank God you got that
natural business sense, Kid.
216
00:08:47,028 --> 00:08:48,946
- Yuri won't come out
of the walk-in cooler.
217
00:08:48,988 --> 00:08:50,906
If he thinks he's gonna get
a piece of the action,
218
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,324
he can forget it.
- Whoa, whoa, Dad, Dad.
219
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,118
I'll--I'll talk to him.
- I'lltalk to him.
220
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,996
I'm not afraid
of some 6'3" Slovakian.
221
00:08:57,038 --> 00:08:58,414
- He's 6'11".
222
00:08:58,456 --> 00:09:01,125
- Better you go alone.
223
00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:04,128
* *
224
00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:06,297
- Oh. Hey, there.
225
00:09:06,339 --> 00:09:09,467
Um, hope I'm not interrupting.
226
00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:11,469
Uh, we haven't officially met.
227
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,137
Uh, I'm Jim Kearney.
228
00:09:13,179 --> 00:09:14,972
My dad owns the bar.
229
00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:18,309
Uh, wonder if I could have
a quick word with you, Yuri.
230
00:09:18,351 --> 00:09:19,935
Oh, may I call you Yuri?
231
00:09:23,022 --> 00:09:25,649
Your--your fans are
really excited to see you.
232
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:27,318
Uh, they--they love you.
233
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:28,819
- When I score.
234
00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:31,113
But last night, I blow game.
235
00:09:31,155 --> 00:09:32,656
We lost because of me.
236
00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,492
I began to believe
those who say,
237
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,868
"Yuri is a baller.
238
00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:37,953
Yuri is the shizzle."
239
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,622
And you see what happened?
240
00:09:39,664 --> 00:09:41,540
I let God down.
241
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,876
- Oh, no, pfft.
God's not let down.
242
00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:45,169
God's fine.
[chuckles]
243
00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:46,796
God's got other stuff
on his mind.
244
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,466
- Before I come to America,
245
00:09:50,508 --> 00:09:52,760
I was studying
to become a priest.
246
00:09:52,802 --> 00:09:55,012
But in the seminary
intramural league,
247
00:09:55,054 --> 00:09:57,598
I discovered hidden ability
to play.
248
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:58,808
- Uh, I don't know
about "hidden."
249
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,768
Uh, you're very tall.
250
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:03,396
- When I start
to have success in NBA,
251
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,481
I lose sight of God.
252
00:10:05,523 --> 00:10:07,024
I have failed.
253
00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:08,359
- Oh, no, no.
254
00:10:08,401 --> 00:10:10,236
You--you didn't fail.
255
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,363
Look, you know, we all--
we all love the big guy.
256
00:10:12,405 --> 00:10:16,909
You know, uh, I mean, he--
he turned water into wine,
257
00:10:16,951 --> 00:10:18,661
and, uh...
[strains]
258
00:10:18,703 --> 00:10:20,871
That whole parting
of the Red Sea thing,
259
00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:24,625
that was, uh--
that was pretty cool.
260
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:25,876
Um...
261
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:28,629
uh, bubonic plague
was a misstep.
262
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,550
But he bounced back
with the Matterhorn--
263
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:35,261
both the mountain and the ride.
264
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,929
- God is so amazing.
265
00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:39,890
- Yes, and he gets plenty
of praise and attention for it.
266
00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:42,435
Uh, uh, temples,
mosques, churches,
267
00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:46,605
Chick-fil-A is closed
on Sunday, all for him.
268
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,065
And you honor him too.
269
00:10:48,107 --> 00:10:49,734
Uh, What do you say
in your postgame interviews?
270
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:51,027
- Glory goes to God.
271
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:53,237
- Yeah, right.
So what happens to you
272
00:10:53,279 --> 00:10:55,072
is part of God's plan.
273
00:10:55,114 --> 00:10:57,992
Those free throws you ganked
the other night?
274
00:10:58,034 --> 00:11:00,286
That's on him, not you.
275
00:11:00,328 --> 00:11:02,288
- I never think
like this way before.
276
00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:05,458
- Well, start thinking
like this way, my friend.
277
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,668
It's all a part of his plan.
278
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:11,130
- You are very wise,
Jim Kearney.
279
00:11:11,172 --> 00:11:13,341
Can we speak more
about this sometime?
280
00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:14,884
- Uh, sure we can, out there,
281
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,719
uh, after we meet,
uh, and greet,
282
00:11:16,761 --> 00:11:18,471
which are, admittedly,
the same thing.
283
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,181
Um, so let's get you out there
284
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,641
and meeting
your adoring public.
285
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,643
So--oh, oh, goodness. Okay.
286
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:25,895
Um...
287
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:30,149
- Even your head
is like basketball.
288
00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:31,400
* *
289
00:11:31,442 --> 00:11:34,362
[crowd cheering]
290
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,451
- Who's the Kid now?
291
00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:42,244
- Thank you, son.
292
00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:47,249
- Hey, Yuri,
what happened last night?
293
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,419
You were the opposite
of clutch.
294
00:11:50,461 --> 00:11:51,837
- I do not like to lose,
295
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,215
but sometimes losing is
a part of God's plan.
296
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,801
- But you bricked
the two free throws.
297
00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:58,010
That would've made
the difference.
298
00:11:58,052 --> 00:12:00,096
- Your math is correct.
299
00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:02,723
My intention is always
to score.
300
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,350
But once the ball
leaves my hand,
301
00:12:04,392 --> 00:12:06,102
the outcome is not up to me.
302
00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:08,562
So if people do not like
the outcome,
303
00:12:08,604 --> 00:12:10,648
people should not blame me.
304
00:12:10,690 --> 00:12:13,317
You should blame God.
305
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,201
- Oof! Another Monopoly
beatdown, Jimmy.
306
00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:25,204
Pennsylvania Avenue
with three houses?
307
00:12:25,246 --> 00:12:27,290
[clicks tongue] Next game,
you're gonna owe me a thousand.
308
00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:30,001
- Dad, tell her debts don't
carry over to the next game.
309
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,128
- Well, yes, they do.
310
00:12:32,170 --> 00:12:33,963
Unless--
- I'm not barking.
311
00:12:34,005 --> 00:12:35,464
- Jimmy, you're my brother.
312
00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:37,091
I wouldn't make you bark.
313
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,467
Can you roll over?
314
00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:39,552
- Mom.
315
00:12:41,053 --> 00:12:43,014
- Kids, be kind to each other.
316
00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:45,975
One day, your father
and I will be dead.
317
00:12:46,017 --> 00:12:48,519
- Such a lovely thought.
318
00:12:48,561 --> 00:12:51,939
- Might we grab you for
a little confab in the kitchen?
319
00:12:51,981 --> 00:12:53,608
- Okay, I'll take
what money you got,
320
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:54,775
plus you have to roll over.
321
00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:55,818
- I'm not doing it.
- [scoffs]
322
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:57,236
[baby voice] Who's a good boy?
323
00:12:57,278 --> 00:12:58,821
- Stop.
- Who's a good boy?
324
00:12:58,863 --> 00:13:00,656
- I need to have
a word with you, bro.
325
00:13:00,698 --> 00:13:02,617
- Why is he looking at me
like something is my fault?
326
00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:04,619
- Because something is
your fault, Jim.
327
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:07,580
- Word has gotten out
about Mr. Kobilska's comments
328
00:13:07,622 --> 00:13:10,291
last night, and there have
been some feelings.
329
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:12,668
- They're not
positive feelings, Jim.
330
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:15,713
- People are not happy that
Yuri threw God under the bus.
331
00:13:15,755 --> 00:13:18,674
- God is already under the bus.
332
00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:20,134
He's everywhere.
333
00:13:22,386 --> 00:13:24,805
- People are protesting
outside of TD Garden.
334
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,849
- Who the hell is protesting?
- People who believe
335
00:13:26,891 --> 00:13:28,017
that God has been insulted--
336
00:13:28,059 --> 00:13:30,102
and there's a lot of them.
337
00:13:30,144 --> 00:13:31,521
- Well, this is America.
338
00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:33,481
People are entitled
to their religious beliefs,
339
00:13:33,523 --> 00:13:34,982
but that stuff has nothing
to do with me.
340
00:13:35,024 --> 00:13:36,984
- Oh, really?
341
00:13:37,026 --> 00:13:39,195
Because an hour ago,
I asked Mr. Kobilska
342
00:13:39,237 --> 00:13:40,613
how he arrived
at the conclusion
343
00:13:40,655 --> 00:13:43,366
that the Lord Almighty
is somehow to blame
344
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:45,034
for his laughable
free throw skills...
345
00:13:45,076 --> 00:13:46,619
- And guess what he said?
346
00:13:46,661 --> 00:13:49,539
- "I really should practice
my free throws"?
347
00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:51,624
- No, he said
he received guidance
348
00:13:51,666 --> 00:13:54,210
from his spiritual advisor.
349
00:13:54,252 --> 00:13:55,628
- I was just trying
to get him out of the cooler.
350
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,547
- I should have never agreed
to send Yuri!
351
00:13:57,588 --> 00:14:00,550
- You only kept Yuri
because I asked for the favor.
352
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:01,592
Ha!
- Ha?
353
00:14:01,634 --> 00:14:03,219
You don't get to "ha" him!
354
00:14:03,261 --> 00:14:05,847
- I'm gonna need to re-borrow.
355
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,223
- Where the hell
did you come from?
356
00:14:07,265 --> 00:14:08,808
- From my God-blaming bar,
357
00:14:08,850 --> 00:14:10,226
where people are
demanding refunds.
358
00:14:10,268 --> 00:14:11,561
- Refunds? For what?
359
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:13,145
- That's what I said.
360
00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:15,982
I told 'em, no way I'm paying
for beers they already drank.
361
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,067
They threatened to set fire
to the building.
362
00:14:18,109 --> 00:14:20,653
So we compromised,
and I gave 'em refunds.
363
00:14:20,695 --> 00:14:22,363
I had no choice!
364
00:14:22,405 --> 00:14:24,699
All because this guy's
star player
365
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:27,160
is a God-blaming blasphemer!
366
00:14:28,411 --> 00:14:29,954
- I told Yuri you'd want
to counsel him
367
00:14:29,996 --> 00:14:31,581
in his time of strife.
- Uh, I'm having
368
00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:33,583
my own time of strife.
369
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:36,169
I do not want
to be repaid, Dad.
370
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,004
You're not allowed to repay me.
371
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:42,383
- If I have to sell a kidney,
you'll get every penny back.
372
00:14:42,425 --> 00:14:46,804
- Nobody wants
your 71-year-old kidneys.
373
00:14:46,846 --> 00:14:50,516
- You wish your pee stream
was as strong as mine.
374
00:14:50,558 --> 00:14:54,145
I'll put a frozen rope
into that sink from right here!
375
00:14:57,732 --> 00:14:59,692
- Please don't.
376
00:14:59,734 --> 00:15:01,110
[doorbell rings]
377
00:15:01,152 --> 00:15:03,529
- All right, Jim, you're up.
378
00:15:03,571 --> 00:15:05,114
- He's here?
Why is he here?
379
00:15:05,156 --> 00:15:07,033
- Because there are
people protesting
380
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,410
outside of TD Garden!
381
00:15:10,828 --> 00:15:12,121
- What am I supposed to say?
382
00:15:12,163 --> 00:15:13,456
- Oh, bestow your wisdom
383
00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:15,583
about the nature of God
and the universe.
384
00:15:15,625 --> 00:15:16,876
- I know next to nothing
385
00:15:16,918 --> 00:15:18,461
about the nature
of God and the universe.
386
00:15:18,503 --> 00:15:19,545
I'm a layman.
387
00:15:19,587 --> 00:15:21,422
- Jim, this is impacting
Trey's business,
388
00:15:21,464 --> 00:15:23,257
all because your father can't
accept your generosity
389
00:15:23,299 --> 00:15:25,593
like a normal human being!
390
00:15:25,635 --> 00:15:28,846
- I'm not gonna take money
from my own son!
391
00:15:28,888 --> 00:15:31,390
Well, except this check.
392
00:15:31,432 --> 00:15:32,892
- Listen up, Reverend Jim.
393
00:15:32,934 --> 00:15:35,811
You asked for the favor,
and you are going to fix this!
394
00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:37,146
- All right.
Here we go.
395
00:15:37,188 --> 00:15:38,481
- Well, well, well.
396
00:15:38,523 --> 00:15:40,900
If it isn't
the human hand grenade.
397
00:15:40,942 --> 00:15:42,235
- Not helpful, Dad.
398
00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:44,445
- Mr. Taylor said
you wanted to talk to me.
399
00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:46,989
- Yeah.
Yeah, I--I--
400
00:15:47,031 --> 00:15:50,117
I think you may have taken
something I said yesterday
401
00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:51,160
the wrong way.
402
00:15:51,202 --> 00:15:52,995
- No, I understand completely.
403
00:15:53,037 --> 00:15:54,747
Your message is so simple:
404
00:15:54,789 --> 00:15:56,958
God has a plan.
405
00:15:56,999 --> 00:16:01,087
- Jim, why don't you illuminate
us and Mr. Kobilska
406
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,464
about the concept of free will
407
00:16:03,506 --> 00:16:07,301
and how it fits
within God's plan?
408
00:16:07,343 --> 00:16:10,930
- Yuri, my clumsy
inarticulations
409
00:16:10,972 --> 00:16:14,475
have, uh, led you astray...
410
00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:16,185
my son.
411
00:16:16,227 --> 00:16:19,021
Uh, and as a--a good shepherd,
412
00:16:19,063 --> 00:16:22,066
uh, who tends his flock,
413
00:16:22,108 --> 00:16:24,527
I must bring you
back into the--
414
00:16:24,569 --> 00:16:25,528
- Herd.
415
00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:31,117
- Flock.
416
00:16:35,246 --> 00:16:38,416
Each sheep, uh, grows wool,
417
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:44,046
uh, for--
for making socks and, uh...
418
00:16:44,088 --> 00:16:46,090
- Mittens.
- Yes, mittens.
419
00:16:46,132 --> 00:16:47,633
- People need mittens.
- Yes.
420
00:16:47,675 --> 00:16:50,803
Uh, and sometimes you--you give
your mittens to someone--
421
00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:52,722
a family member, perhaps--
422
00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:55,725
and they think they need
to give you those mittens back,
423
00:16:55,766 --> 00:16:58,269
even though you repeatedly--
repeatedly--
424
00:16:58,311 --> 00:17:01,689
tell them
you do not want them back.
425
00:17:01,731 --> 00:17:06,110
So you, uh, ask someone
who has, uh, an extra sheep
426
00:17:06,152 --> 00:17:08,946
to--to loan you a--a sheep,
427
00:17:08,988 --> 00:17:12,200
uh, so that the aforementioned
family member
428
00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:15,119
can gather their own wool,
429
00:17:15,161 --> 00:17:19,707
so they can make
their own mittens.
430
00:17:19,749 --> 00:17:23,920
- So we need you, Yuri,
to clarify...
431
00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:25,087
- That when you play poorly...
432
00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:26,422
- It's not God's fault.
433
00:17:26,464 --> 00:17:29,383
Does that make sense?
- Not really.
434
00:17:29,425 --> 00:17:31,344
- Pray on it, and it will.
435
00:17:31,385 --> 00:17:34,430
- Job 36:11,
"If they hear and serve him,
436
00:17:34,472 --> 00:17:37,141
"they will end their days
in prosperity
437
00:17:37,183 --> 00:17:38,851
and their years in pleasures."
438
00:17:38,893 --> 00:17:40,228
- I love that one.
439
00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:42,939
- 12 years of Catholic school.
[chuckles]
440
00:17:46,555 --> 00:17:47,139
[mellow rock music]
441
00:17:48,390 --> 00:17:49,558
- Trey will go first.
442
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,059
A quick statement
on behalf of the team,
443
00:17:51,101 --> 00:17:52,603
and then throw it
to Mr. Kobilska.
444
00:17:52,644 --> 00:17:54,855
Just read the statement
exactly as I wrote it,
445
00:17:54,897 --> 00:17:56,106
and everything will be fine.
446
00:17:56,148 --> 00:17:58,525
- I'm quite nervous.
447
00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:00,652
- I'd like to offer a few words
to my disciple--
448
00:18:00,694 --> 00:18:02,654
- No, no, no.
449
00:18:02,696 --> 00:18:04,990
You--I think you've said
enough, all right?
450
00:18:05,032 --> 00:18:07,493
You're gonna be fine.
This is just a clarification.
451
00:18:07,534 --> 00:18:09,661
That's all--
to finish what you started.
452
00:18:11,288 --> 00:18:12,456
- All right.
Go get 'em.
453
00:18:12,498 --> 00:18:14,082
- Hey, how's everybody doing?
454
00:18:14,124 --> 00:18:15,834
Thank you for coming out.
455
00:18:15,876 --> 00:18:18,712
Um, good afternoon.
456
00:18:18,754 --> 00:18:21,673
While the Celtics organization
respects religious freedom,
457
00:18:21,715 --> 00:18:24,676
we recognize that there
are appropriate times
458
00:18:24,718 --> 00:18:26,512
for its expression.
459
00:18:26,553 --> 00:18:29,681
To that end, Mr. Kobilska has,
uh, prepared a statement.
460
00:18:29,723 --> 00:18:32,768
- [clears throat]
I wish to apologize
461
00:18:32,810 --> 00:18:35,938
for any offense I have caused
to the people of Boston,
462
00:18:35,979 --> 00:18:38,398
America, and around the world.
463
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:42,069
My intention was never to--
464
00:18:49,076 --> 00:18:51,537
I believe God has a plan.
465
00:18:51,578 --> 00:18:53,539
But up until a few moments ago,
466
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:56,458
I was uncertain
of my part in it.
467
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,211
Then my wise employer,
Mr. Taylor,
468
00:18:59,253 --> 00:19:02,756
counseled me to finish
what I started.
469
00:19:02,798 --> 00:19:06,718
I believe his message
is a message from God.
470
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:10,180
So today, I am resigning
from the Celtics
471
00:19:10,222 --> 00:19:14,393
to return to Slovakia to finish
my studies in the seminary.
472
00:19:14,435 --> 00:19:16,770
I wish to thank
the Celtics organization
473
00:19:16,812 --> 00:19:18,814
for the opportunity to play.
474
00:19:18,856 --> 00:19:20,399
Glory to God.
475
00:19:20,441 --> 00:19:23,068
[reporters clamoring]
476
00:19:23,110 --> 00:19:26,196
- Man, you really got to watch
what you say to this guy.
477
00:19:26,238 --> 00:19:29,158
* *
478
00:19:29,199 --> 00:19:30,951
[buzzer blares]
479
00:19:30,993 --> 00:19:32,161
- And that'll do it.
480
00:19:32,202 --> 00:19:34,913
Miami Heat, 123; Celtics, 102.
481
00:19:34,955 --> 00:19:37,040
And the boys in green have
once again found themselves
482
00:19:37,082 --> 00:19:39,710
in the middle of
an embarrassing losing streak.
483
00:19:39,751 --> 00:19:43,130
Dear God, could the Celtics
have used Kobilska tonight.
484
00:19:44,256 --> 00:19:45,883
- There's another 100--
485
00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:47,468
50 from donating blood,
486
00:19:47,509 --> 00:19:50,929
and another 50
from donating more blood.
487
00:19:50,971 --> 00:19:54,933
I found a workaround,
and I gave him a fake ID.
488
00:19:54,975 --> 00:19:56,560
- Okay, we gotta
talk about this.
489
00:19:56,602 --> 00:19:59,229
This whole money thing never
should've even been a thing.
490
00:19:59,271 --> 00:20:01,148
You know, and it somehow
became another thing
491
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:02,941
that really complicated
a bigger thing,
492
00:20:02,983 --> 00:20:05,486
and that was not fun.
493
00:20:05,527 --> 00:20:07,321
Dad, I gave you that money
because you're my father,
494
00:20:07,362 --> 00:20:09,615
and what's mine is yours.
495
00:20:09,656 --> 00:20:12,326
Okay.
This is a list of all the times
496
00:20:12,367 --> 00:20:14,495
that you paid for stuff
that you didn't need to.
497
00:20:16,163 --> 00:20:17,790
- Senior prom, 80;
498
00:20:17,831 --> 00:20:19,249
new snow tires, 250;
499
00:20:19,291 --> 00:20:21,919
parking tickets, 150.
500
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,087
This adds up to three grand?
501
00:20:24,129 --> 00:20:26,423
- On the nose.
502
00:20:26,465 --> 00:20:29,384
- You're a good son.
503
00:20:29,426 --> 00:20:32,304
Three-card monte, 100 bucks?
- [chuckles]
504
00:20:32,346 --> 00:20:35,599
- I thought it was 250.
505
00:20:35,641 --> 00:20:37,893
- Pretty sure it was a--
a flat hundred.
506
00:20:37,935 --> 00:20:40,729
Anyway, I just wanted
to square our books.
507
00:20:40,771 --> 00:20:43,357
- It was 250.
508
00:20:45,150 --> 00:20:48,153
- Um, well, I'm--I'm saying,
you owe me nothing, so...
509
00:20:48,195 --> 00:20:49,988
- That loan I floated you
in college,
510
00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:52,199
that was 700, not 500.
511
00:20:54,034 --> 00:20:57,371
- Huh. Memory's a--
a funny thing, isn't it?
512
00:20:57,412 --> 00:20:59,331
So let's just say we're square.
513
00:20:59,373 --> 00:21:00,666
- [chuckles]
514
00:21:00,707 --> 00:21:03,836
That there is an amended total.
515
00:21:03,877 --> 00:21:04,837
- This looks like--
516
00:21:04,878 --> 00:21:07,589
- You owe me 2,110.
517
00:21:09,550 --> 00:21:11,385
- What?
- I don't need it right away.
518
00:21:11,426 --> 00:21:13,720
End of the month is fine.
519
00:21:13,762 --> 00:21:15,764
* *
520
00:21:15,814 --> 00:21:20,364
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