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1
00:00:04,014 --> 00:00:06,057
Oh, Steven, there you are.
2
00:00:06,098 --> 00:00:07,600
I almost didn't
recognize you without
3
00:00:07,642 --> 00:00:09,362
a disgusting stripper
attached to your lips.
4
00:00:11,187 --> 00:00:13,606
Huh? Well,
I recognized you right away.
5
00:00:13,648 --> 00:00:16,985
Since you walked in here alone,
with no job and no boyfriend.
6
00:00:18,444 --> 00:00:20,112
Oh, this sounds like fun.
7
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,158
Someone say
something mean about me.
8
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:27,161
I don't think so, Fez.
9
00:00:27,203 --> 00:00:29,163
Oh, come on,
you never let me play.
10
00:00:30,623 --> 00:00:32,709
Fine. You're stupid
and you're fat.
11
00:00:37,213 --> 00:00:39,298
That was
completely uncalled for.
12
00:00:41,259 --> 00:00:43,135
What is Donna
doing out with Randy?
13
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,846
When I called her earlier today
14
00:00:44,888 --> 00:00:46,072
to see if she
wanted to do something,
15
00:00:46,096 --> 00:00:48,058
she said she was
staying in all day.
16
00:00:48,098 --> 00:00:51,686
I mean, I was gonna blow her
off at the last minute, but still.
17
00:00:51,728 --> 00:00:54,040
Yeah. And yesterday when I
went to spy on her from her closet,
18
00:00:54,064 --> 00:00:56,107
she was already out with Randy.
19
00:00:59,069 --> 00:01:01,112
That guy is really
cutting into my peep-time.
20
00:01:04,407 --> 00:01:07,035
Do you think something is going
on between Donna and Randy?
21
00:01:07,077 --> 00:01:08,411
Steven, what do you think?
22
00:01:08,453 --> 00:01:10,204
I have a definite
opinion on this.
23
00:01:10,914 --> 00:01:12,123
I don't care.
24
00:01:13,083 --> 00:01:15,126
You just don't like to gossip.
25
00:01:15,167 --> 00:01:16,795
Which is good,
because you should
26
00:01:16,836 --> 00:01:18,379
hear what people say about you.
27
00:01:19,798 --> 00:01:21,108
Well, if you guys
are gonna act like
28
00:01:21,132 --> 00:01:22,443
a bunch of immature
babies, go ahead.
29
00:01:22,467 --> 00:01:24,385
Now, if you'll excuse me,
30
00:01:24,427 --> 00:01:25,821
I'm gonna drive my car
through some really big puddles
31
00:01:25,845 --> 00:01:27,639
and splash some old people.
32
00:01:28,473 --> 00:01:29,849
Hey.
Hi.
33
00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:32,268
Where have you two been?
34
00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:34,562
We went and saw Rocky II.
It was awesome.
35
00:01:34,604 --> 00:01:36,982
This chubby guy in the
audience got all inspired
36
00:01:37,023 --> 00:01:39,943
and then punched out an usher.
37
00:01:39,985 --> 00:01:42,570
Donna, does Eric know you took
another man to the movies?
38
00:01:42,612 --> 00:01:46,282
Actually, I invited her. I won
tickets from a radio station.
39
00:01:46,324 --> 00:01:47,742
My cousin's a DJ.
40
00:01:47,784 --> 00:01:50,202
So I just called him up and
told him the phrase that pays.
41
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,580
My mom has a picture of you
and your sister in the bathtub.
42
00:01:54,499 --> 00:01:58,503
But, why I wonder, did you
invite Donna instead of any of us?
43
00:01:58,544 --> 00:02:01,464
Is it because she is
beautiful, blonde and curvy?
44
00:02:01,506 --> 00:02:04,175
Actually, you know what,
that's a good choice.
45
00:02:05,093 --> 00:02:07,012
Fries up for Donna and Randy.
46
00:02:07,053 --> 00:02:08,179
That's us.
47
00:02:10,515 --> 00:02:12,558
Look at them!
They're sharing fries!
48
00:02:14,686 --> 00:02:17,856
I know. And did you see how
fast Randy changed the subject
49
00:02:17,897 --> 00:02:19,107
when you mentioned Eric?
50
00:02:19,149 --> 00:02:21,442
Yeah, something
is definitely up.
51
00:02:21,484 --> 00:02:25,279
The needle on the Hanky-Panky
meter is all the way up to Panky!
52
00:02:25,321 --> 00:02:27,991
You know what? I think
Donna is cheating on Eric.
53
00:02:29,117 --> 00:02:31,202
Oh, my God,
I think you're right.
54
00:02:31,243 --> 00:02:33,538
That is awful.
55
00:02:33,579 --> 00:02:35,379
I can just picture that
hot-blooded seductress
56
00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:37,792
giving it away in
a sweaty moment of lust.
57
00:02:39,878 --> 00:02:41,629
Oh, why do I do that to myself?
58
00:02:46,384 --> 00:02:48,218
♪ Hanging out
59
00:02:49,971 --> 00:02:51,931
♪ Down the street
60
00:02:53,558 --> 00:02:55,434
♪ The same old thing
61
00:02:57,145 --> 00:02:59,229
♪ We did last week
62
00:03:00,565 --> 00:03:03,943
♪ Not a thing to do
63
00:03:04,736 --> 00:03:07,279
♪ But talk to you
64
00:03:08,406 --> 00:03:10,158
♪ We're all all right
65
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,660
♪ We're all all right
66
00:03:12,702 --> 00:03:14,620
♪ Hello, Wisconsin! ♪
67
00:03:23,253 --> 00:03:25,548
Kitty! I just got
a letter from the
68
00:03:25,590 --> 00:03:27,800
Point Place
Veterans Association.
69
00:03:27,842 --> 00:03:29,594
Our reunion is coming up.
70
00:03:29,635 --> 00:03:32,430
It is so nice to have a place
where everyone applauds
71
00:03:32,471 --> 00:03:34,265
after you say how
many people you shot.
72
00:03:37,227 --> 00:03:39,771
And this year is
gonna be special.
73
00:03:39,812 --> 00:03:41,147
You remember Larry Simmens?
74
00:03:41,189 --> 00:03:44,109
The fellow who
won the Bronze Star on D-Day?
75
00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:46,402
Yep. The bastard
finally died.
76
00:03:47,862 --> 00:03:50,115
Struck by lightning.
77
00:03:50,156 --> 00:03:51,449
The sucker could dodge a bullet
78
00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:54,535
but Mother Nature got
him right in the ass.
79
00:03:54,577 --> 00:03:56,955
Well, I hope someone shouted,
"Fire in the hole."
80
00:03:58,289 --> 00:03:59,916
And now that he's gone,
81
00:03:59,958 --> 00:04:02,543
I'll be the most
decorated soldier there.
82
00:04:02,585 --> 00:04:06,798
Which means the added respect
of my peers plus enough free booze
83
00:04:06,839 --> 00:04:08,883
to fill Mike Kaleigh's fake leg.
84
00:04:10,426 --> 00:04:12,303
You know,
whenever you soldier buddies
85
00:04:12,344 --> 00:04:14,222
get together you have cocktails.
86
00:04:14,264 --> 00:04:16,141
I should have been in the army.
87
00:04:18,184 --> 00:04:20,394
Hey, look!
I finally got invited to
88
00:04:20,436 --> 00:04:23,564
the Point Place
veterans' reunion. What?
89
00:04:23,606 --> 00:04:25,984
They don't invite
National Guardsmen.
90
00:04:26,025 --> 00:04:28,402
They didn't.
But I wrote a bunch of
91
00:04:28,444 --> 00:04:30,244
angry letters until they
changed their policy.
92
00:04:32,364 --> 00:04:34,784
Well, that's just great, Bob.
93
00:04:34,826 --> 00:04:37,411
Maybe if you'd written a
bunch of angry letters to Hitler
94
00:04:37,453 --> 00:04:39,872
we could've avoided
a war in the first place.
95
00:04:41,124 --> 00:04:43,501
I don't think that
would have worked.
96
00:04:43,542 --> 00:04:46,337
That Hitler seemed
like a real cranky bear.
97
00:04:48,714 --> 00:04:51,884
Oh, Red, the vets needed
someone to hire a photographer.
98
00:04:51,926 --> 00:04:53,970
So I signed you up to find one.
99
00:04:54,012 --> 00:04:56,889
Why would you do that?
100
00:04:56,931 --> 00:05:00,559
Because I felt like I
wasn't contributing.
101
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,353
You should hire Leo
to be your photographer.
102
00:05:02,394 --> 00:05:04,689
He's like a pro.
Shot all my fake IDs.
103
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,526
I'm not taking a hippie
down to the Veterans Hall.
104
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:10,069
They wouldn't put up with it.
105
00:05:10,111 --> 00:05:12,404
The bathrooms have
Jane Fonda urinal targets.
106
00:05:14,907 --> 00:05:18,619
You know, Leo took some pretty
great pictures of Bob and Midge
107
00:05:18,661 --> 00:05:20,746
when they renewed their vows.
108
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:23,374
He even got a rare
one of Red smiling.
109
00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:27,920
I sent it to the museum.
110
00:05:29,964 --> 00:05:32,884
Well, if you wanna ask him,
he's down in the basement.
111
00:05:32,925 --> 00:05:35,261
What's Leo doing in my basement?
112
00:05:36,012 --> 00:05:37,305
I don't know.
113
00:05:39,557 --> 00:05:41,809
But, just to be safe,
why don't you give it
114
00:05:41,851 --> 00:05:43,936
about 15 minutes
before you come down?
115
00:05:48,774 --> 00:05:51,819
So, Leo, Steven tells me
that you're a photographer.
116
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:53,905
How much do you charge?
117
00:05:53,946 --> 00:05:57,407
Not much, man. I try to
pay for everything with cash.
118
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,662
Okay, never mind.
119
00:06:01,704 --> 00:06:03,307
Come on, Red, he's really
good and he works cheap.
120
00:06:03,331 --> 00:06:04,749
Leo, tell him what your fee is.
121
00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:06,125
A hundred bucks.
122
00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:07,377
How about $75?
123
00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:09,712
$50 and that's my final offer.
124
00:06:13,758 --> 00:06:15,718
And if you bargain with him
when you get there,
125
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,320
you'll probably wind
up making 10 bucks.
126
00:06:18,930 --> 00:06:20,348
$15.
127
00:06:25,144 --> 00:06:27,188
Okay, fine, you're hired.
128
00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:29,399
But this is a big night for me.
129
00:06:29,439 --> 00:06:32,068
So I want you to
clean up and look nice.
130
00:06:32,110 --> 00:06:35,363
These men are veterans.
They deserve your respect.
131
00:06:35,405 --> 00:06:37,949
Hey, I'm cool
with veterans, man.
132
00:06:37,990 --> 00:06:41,451
Anybody that can put
a cast on a dog is okay by me.
133
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,212
Hey, if you guys see Donna, can
you tell her I'm down at The Hub?
134
00:06:51,254 --> 00:06:53,631
Okay, did you guys have plans?
135
00:06:53,672 --> 00:06:56,342
Yeah, we were gonna
hang out at her house,
136
00:06:56,384 --> 00:06:58,719
but I get a little
uncomfortable with Bob there.
137
00:06:58,761 --> 00:07:01,081
You know, most people wear
underwear when they wear a robe.
138
00:07:09,063 --> 00:07:11,482
Did you hear that?
"Hang out."
139
00:07:12,608 --> 00:07:14,402
They are going to have sex.
140
00:07:15,486 --> 00:07:17,613
How does hang out mean have sex?
141
00:07:17,655 --> 00:07:19,698
I can make a sexual innuendo
out of anything.
142
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,242
Try me.
143
00:07:23,202 --> 00:07:25,121
Stove.
144
00:07:25,163 --> 00:07:27,999
Well, I'd like to cook
something on her stove.
145
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,625
See? Anything!
146
00:07:31,794 --> 00:07:34,839
Oh, my God, Fez,
I feel really bad for Eric.
147
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,633
When Michael was cheating
on me, I was devastated.
148
00:07:37,675 --> 00:07:40,094
But eventually I learned
that the saying is true.
149
00:07:40,136 --> 00:07:42,472
It's better to have loved
and lost than to be butt-ugly.
150
00:07:44,390 --> 00:07:45,891
Oh, hey, Miss Kitty.
151
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,268
Hi.
Okay.
152
00:07:47,310 --> 00:07:49,937
We need some advice.
153
00:07:49,979 --> 00:07:55,067
There is this guy whose
girlfriend is cheating on him.
154
00:07:55,109 --> 00:07:57,487
What do you think we should do?
155
00:07:57,528 --> 00:08:00,990
Well, Red and I once had
a friend named Bill Anderson
156
00:08:01,032 --> 00:08:03,451
and everyone thought his
wife was cheating on him.
157
00:08:03,493 --> 00:08:05,953
So one night, we were over there
158
00:08:05,995 --> 00:08:08,539
and I happened to see her purse
159
00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:12,502
and it happened to be open
and I happened to riffle through it
160
00:08:13,503 --> 00:08:15,129
and I found out it was true.
161
00:08:16,088 --> 00:08:17,089
So you told Bill?
162
00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:18,632
No, no, no, no.
163
00:08:18,674 --> 00:08:21,552
I do not like to get involved
in other people's business.
164
00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:24,430
But I wish I had.
165
00:08:24,472 --> 00:08:25,991
Because it might have
saved their marriage
166
00:08:26,015 --> 00:08:27,892
and I'd still be getting
their Christmas cards.
167
00:08:29,685 --> 00:08:33,481
Antlers on a dog,
that is so precious.
168
00:08:36,317 --> 00:08:38,236
Fez, I know what we need to do.
169
00:08:38,277 --> 00:08:39,945
Yeah, me, too.
But where are we
170
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:41,613
going to find
a dog with antlers?
171
00:08:43,449 --> 00:08:44,968
No, Fez. We need
to write Eric a letter
172
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:47,119
telling him what is going on
between Donna and Randy.
173
00:08:47,161 --> 00:08:49,080
Yeah, then Eric
is gonna come home,
174
00:08:49,121 --> 00:08:52,041
kick Randy's ass and then whisk
Donna off to someplace sexy.
175
00:08:54,502 --> 00:08:55,878
Like the garage.
176
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,713
What?
177
00:08:57,755 --> 00:09:00,425
How is the garage sexy?
178
00:09:00,466 --> 00:09:02,760
Well, I'd like to park
my car in her garage.
179
00:09:09,434 --> 00:09:12,562
Leo? This is
an important event.
180
00:09:12,603 --> 00:09:14,355
I thought I told
you to clean up.
181
00:09:14,397 --> 00:09:18,526
I did, man.
My apartment is spotless.
182
00:09:20,278 --> 00:09:23,864
You're supposed to wear a
military uniform to these things.
183
00:09:23,906 --> 00:09:25,616
That's why I rented this baby.
184
00:09:27,452 --> 00:09:29,328
Just be ready with
that camera, Leo.
185
00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:31,330
And keep it
pointed nice and low.
186
00:09:31,372 --> 00:09:35,460
I want a lot of close-ups of all
those patriotic men kissing my ass.
187
00:09:39,505 --> 00:09:41,715
Hey there, soldiers.
188
00:09:41,757 --> 00:09:44,218
Holy cow!
Look who it is!
189
00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:45,719
As you were, men.
190
00:09:45,761 --> 00:09:46,845
It's Leonard.
191
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,682
Leonard?
Who the hell is Leonard?
192
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,184
Hey, I'm Leonard.
193
00:09:53,644 --> 00:09:55,062
Hey!
194
00:09:55,104 --> 00:09:56,355
Hi there!
195
00:09:57,523 --> 00:10:00,901
Hey, how do you guys know him?
196
00:10:00,943 --> 00:10:03,529
We drove a supply truck
together during World War II.
197
00:10:03,571 --> 00:10:06,365
Leo? You're a veteran?
198
00:10:06,407 --> 00:10:08,576
How come you never told me?
199
00:10:08,618 --> 00:10:12,204
Well, there is a lot of things
you don't know about me, man.
200
00:10:12,246 --> 00:10:14,748
For instance, I'm a veteran.
201
00:10:20,463 --> 00:10:23,215
It's been two weeks since
we send Eric our letter.
202
00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:25,510
Shouldn't he be home by now?
203
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:27,719
Well, it takes about a week
to get a letter to Africa,
204
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:31,098
then there is three days of
Eric twitching and fidgeting.
205
00:10:31,140 --> 00:10:33,434
Oh, then there is a two day
hippo-ride to the airport.
206
00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:37,062
So, yeah,
he should be home by now.
207
00:10:38,689 --> 00:10:40,816
When is Samantha
coming back anyway?
208
00:10:40,858 --> 00:10:42,419
Oh, she's gotta stay
in Vegas for another
209
00:10:42,443 --> 00:10:43,837
week 'cause there's
a doctors convention.
210
00:10:43,861 --> 00:10:45,904
Which proves my
theory that no one
211
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:47,698
gets tired of
seeing naked ladies.
212
00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:51,910
Hey, Donna,
I'm glad you're here.
213
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:55,331
Have you heard from Eric? You
know, your supposed boyfriend?
214
00:10:57,833 --> 00:11:00,002
Actually I haven't
heard from Eric in a while.
215
00:11:01,003 --> 00:11:02,505
Really?
216
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,300
Hey, look, Fez,
it says right here
217
00:11:06,342 --> 00:11:07,677
some moron got
punched in the arm
218
00:11:07,718 --> 00:11:09,478
for sticking his nose
where it didn't belong.
219
00:11:12,223 --> 00:11:13,516
When?
220
00:11:14,266 --> 00:11:15,851
Now.
221
00:11:18,103 --> 00:11:20,523
So, Donna.
222
00:11:20,565 --> 00:11:24,652
I don't know, is there any relationship
news you'd like to share with us?
223
00:11:24,694 --> 00:11:26,612
Look, I really don't
want to talk about it.
224
00:11:26,654 --> 00:11:30,740
Oh! So that means, there
is something to talk about?
225
00:11:30,782 --> 00:11:33,369
Yeah. Spill it, girl!
226
00:11:35,079 --> 00:11:36,372
Will you just drop it?
227
00:11:36,414 --> 00:11:38,666
No. Not until you tell us
when Eric is coming home.
228
00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:40,959
What? He is not coming home.
229
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,211
Eric broke up with me.
230
00:11:42,253 --> 00:11:43,546
Yes!
231
00:11:46,924 --> 00:11:50,760
Is not what you say
when you hear that news.
232
00:11:59,769 --> 00:12:00,830
Did you two have something to do
233
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,523
with Forman and
Donna breaking up?
234
00:12:02,565 --> 00:12:04,483
Are you suggesting...
235
00:12:04,525 --> 00:12:06,193
Yeah, yes, we did.
236
00:12:08,404 --> 00:12:10,489
But we never...
237
00:12:10,531 --> 00:12:11,907
Actually we did that, too.
238
00:12:13,409 --> 00:12:14,993
But you can also blame...
239
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:21,250
Actually there is
no one else to blame.
240
00:12:21,292 --> 00:12:24,462
Look, Steven, all we did
was write a letter to Eric
241
00:12:24,503 --> 00:12:26,623
telling him that Donna was
cheating on him with Randy.
242
00:12:27,423 --> 00:12:29,717
What, my magic 8-ball
said it was a good idea
243
00:12:29,759 --> 00:12:31,176
and that thing is
right like, what,
244
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:35,347
one out of six times which
is pretty good for a ball.
245
00:12:35,389 --> 00:12:38,808
If you two were puppies, I'd smack
you in the nose with a magazine.
246
00:12:39,977 --> 00:12:41,687
In fact...
247
00:12:43,813 --> 00:12:46,567
You two idiots need
to tell Donna what you did.
248
00:12:46,609 --> 00:12:48,277
Are you kidding?
249
00:12:48,319 --> 00:12:51,155
No, no, no, no. She'll stomp
on us with her giant feet.
250
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:57,202
I do not want the last words
I hear to be Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum!
251
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,598
Yeah. It's gonna get ugly. That's
why I'm gonna come with you.
252
00:12:59,622 --> 00:13:01,831
To protect us?
No, to watch.
253
00:13:05,461 --> 00:13:08,838
I can't believe
that Leo is a veteran.
254
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,758
I don't know whether
to like him a little more
255
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,842
or like myself a little less.
256
00:13:14,136 --> 00:13:16,514
Red, this was supposed
to be your special night.
257
00:13:16,555 --> 00:13:19,016
We should be the ones
over there getting free drinks.
258
00:13:19,057 --> 00:13:20,225
We?
259
00:13:21,352 --> 00:13:23,521
I spent all my
money on this costume.
260
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,736
So, Leo, what exactly
did you do in the war?
261
00:13:30,778 --> 00:13:34,072
I mean, besides just
drive a supply truck.
262
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:38,452
Just drive a supply truck? Leo,
did you tell them what you did?
263
00:13:38,494 --> 00:13:41,038
No. It's embarrassing.
264
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,124
You gotta tell them.
265
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:47,461
All right.
I peed on Jane Fonda.
266
00:13:50,464 --> 00:13:53,467
Leo here drove his truck right
into a German tank formation
267
00:13:53,509 --> 00:13:55,427
and rescued an entire platoon.
268
00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:57,555
Really?
269
00:13:57,596 --> 00:13:59,056
Didn't you get a medal for that?
270
00:13:59,097 --> 00:14:01,433
Yeah.
I forget what it was called,
271
00:14:01,475 --> 00:14:03,352
but it was shaped
like a purple heart.
272
00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:06,104
Damn, Leo.
273
00:14:07,105 --> 00:14:09,358
I'm impressed.
274
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:13,153
From one veteran to another,
I'd like to buy you a drink.
275
00:14:13,195 --> 00:14:15,489
Actually I'd like
to buy you a drink.
276
00:14:15,531 --> 00:14:16,906
I'll take a drink.
277
00:14:19,410 --> 00:14:23,664
Sorry. This round is for men
who fought for Uncle Sam.
278
00:14:23,706 --> 00:14:28,126
Not spent the war hiding
in their Uncle Sam's house.
279
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:32,297
Hey, man, even if he didn't see
action, he still deserves a drink.
280
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:33,758
All right, fine.
281
00:14:33,799 --> 00:14:36,927
Bartender, one Shirley Temple!
282
00:14:46,061 --> 00:14:48,689
Hey, Donna, sorry to interrupt,
283
00:14:48,731 --> 00:14:51,358
but Nancy Drew
and Nancy-boy here
284
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,486
have something
they'd like to tell you.
285
00:14:54,528 --> 00:14:56,988
That's where Fez comes in.
Take it away, Fez.
286
00:14:58,407 --> 00:15:00,117
You sneaky little midget.
287
00:15:03,954 --> 00:15:06,957
Okay. Donna...
288
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,853
We are the reason why
Eric broke up with you.
289
00:15:09,877 --> 00:15:11,104
We wrote him
a letter saying that
290
00:15:11,128 --> 00:15:12,838
you were cheating
with Mr. Fancy Hair.
291
00:15:14,256 --> 00:15:17,008
What? Oh, come on,
how does he even do that?
292
00:15:18,427 --> 00:15:20,220
Let me clear
a couple of things up.
293
00:15:20,262 --> 00:15:21,722
Donna and I are just friends
294
00:15:21,764 --> 00:15:23,891
and I blow dry this
hair upside down.
295
00:15:25,893 --> 00:15:28,562
Why would you even think
that I was cheating with Randy?
296
00:15:28,604 --> 00:15:31,148
Oh, they have it on
the strongest authority.
297
00:15:31,189 --> 00:15:33,984
A fluid-filled plastic novelty
ball from Parker Brothers.
298
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:37,362
Look, the reason that we've been
299
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,907
hanging out so
much lately is because
300
00:15:39,949 --> 00:15:40,967
Randy was the only
one I could talk to
301
00:15:40,991 --> 00:15:42,534
about how Eric broke up with me.
302
00:15:44,161 --> 00:15:46,204
Three weeks ago.
303
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,290
Three weeks ago?
That means...
304
00:15:48,332 --> 00:15:50,626
That he broke up with you
before we sent the letter.
305
00:15:50,668 --> 00:15:52,252
Fez, it's not our fault!
306
00:15:52,294 --> 00:15:55,046
Oh, Eric just doesn't like
Donna anymore. Oh, happy day!
307
00:15:57,842 --> 00:15:59,593
Why didn't you tell us?
308
00:15:59,635 --> 00:16:02,304
Because I knew that if I told you
guys, Fez would only hit on me,
309
00:16:04,348 --> 00:16:06,033
Jackie would hurt my
feelings trying to be nice
310
00:16:06,057 --> 00:16:07,685
and you would
just shrug and go...
311
00:16:09,812 --> 00:16:12,022
How can you say that?
Tell me I'm wrong.
312
00:16:12,397 --> 00:16:13,565
Nah.
313
00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:17,903
And it's not like I went
looking for Randy. I mean...
314
00:16:17,945 --> 00:16:19,488
I was taking
the garbage out one day.
315
00:16:19,530 --> 00:16:22,658
He was playing hoops and
he said, "Hey, how is it going?"
316
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:24,201
So I took the basketball,
317
00:16:24,242 --> 00:16:26,162
I threw it through a window
and burst into tears.
318
00:16:28,413 --> 00:16:30,493
I think that's when he knew
that something was wrong.
319
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,460
I'm very astute.
320
00:16:35,086 --> 00:16:38,924
And he's been really great.
He listened, he brought me stuff.
321
00:16:38,966 --> 00:16:41,385
Ice cream,
Kleenex and bubble bath.
322
00:16:41,426 --> 00:16:42,803
It's the universal break-up kit.
323
00:16:42,845 --> 00:16:44,596
I read about it in Vogue.
324
00:16:47,057 --> 00:16:49,935
I have five sisters.
325
00:16:49,977 --> 00:16:53,605
Fine, I don't have any
sisters. I read Vogue!
326
00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:56,025
Donna, this must have
been really hard on you.
327
00:16:56,066 --> 00:16:59,319
Yeah. I can't believe
Eric and Donna are through.
328
00:16:59,361 --> 00:17:00,881
I always thought they'd
live happily ever after,
329
00:17:00,905 --> 00:17:02,781
like Romeo and Juliet.
330
00:17:04,033 --> 00:17:06,493
Have you ever read
Romeo and Juliet?
331
00:17:06,535 --> 00:17:08,829
I didn't have to finish it.
It is so obvious what happens.
332
00:17:10,998 --> 00:17:13,476
I'm sorry. I should have never
accused you for cheating on Eric.
333
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:17,462
Yeah. And Randy,
I owe you an apology.
334
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:19,924
Not just for the letter,
335
00:17:19,965 --> 00:17:21,967
but for letting the air
out of your tires.
336
00:17:23,594 --> 00:17:25,930
That's okay, man.
We're even.
337
00:17:25,971 --> 00:17:27,305
We are?
What did you do to me?
338
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:28,515
This!
339
00:17:30,642 --> 00:17:32,436
I heard that makes
you pee yourself.
340
00:17:32,477 --> 00:17:34,063
That's ridiculous!
341
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,155
This isn't over!
342
00:17:46,909 --> 00:17:50,245
I'm so surprised
you were in the army, Leo.
343
00:17:50,287 --> 00:17:54,124
I just can't picture
you shining your shoes.
344
00:17:54,165 --> 00:17:56,501
Can't really picture
you finding your shoes.
345
00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:00,130
Yeah, well,
I fought for my country
346
00:18:00,171 --> 00:18:01,840
and I have
the scars to prove it.
347
00:18:01,882 --> 00:18:05,636
Hey, me, too. Look at that.
348
00:18:05,677 --> 00:18:08,221
Guadalcanal, 1942.
349
00:18:08,263 --> 00:18:11,349
I took some shrapnel,
spent a month in the hospital.
350
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:14,144
That's how I met Bob Hope.
351
00:18:14,185 --> 00:18:17,147
Bastard made me laugh even
though I had two busted ribs.
352
00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:20,985
Dumb ass comedian.
353
00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:24,154
Check this out.
354
00:18:26,907 --> 00:18:29,034
I don't see anything.
355
00:18:29,076 --> 00:18:31,161
Yeah, it's more of
an emotional scar.
356
00:18:33,038 --> 00:18:34,999
Leo, I don't understand how you
357
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,750
could go from decorated war hero
358
00:18:36,792 --> 00:18:39,169
to hippie degenerate.
359
00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:42,172
Well, it all started the day
I got back to the States.
360
00:18:44,299 --> 00:18:47,469
My buddy and I
were saying goodbye.
361
00:18:47,511 --> 00:18:49,805
What are you gonna do now
that the war is over, Leonard?
362
00:18:49,847 --> 00:18:52,199
First I'm going back home to
work in my dad's pharmacy for a bit
363
00:18:52,223 --> 00:18:54,559
and then it's off
to medical school.
364
00:18:55,393 --> 00:18:56,854
See you, pal.
365
00:19:00,107 --> 00:19:03,652
And then these jazz
musicians pulled up in a car.
366
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,119
Hey, soldier.
Do you need a ride?
367
00:19:12,161 --> 00:19:14,163
No, it smells kind
of funny in there.
368
00:19:16,247 --> 00:19:18,542
Don't worry, kid.
You'll get used to it.
369
00:19:26,216 --> 00:19:28,010
And that's
the last thing I remember
370
00:19:28,052 --> 00:19:29,928
until you poured me
this cup of coffee.
371
00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:39,229
Yep.
372
00:19:39,771 --> 00:19:41,565
Hey, man.
Hi.
373
00:19:41,606 --> 00:19:44,068
Brought you
something to cheer you up.
374
00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:47,237
A picture of Eric.
375
00:19:48,030 --> 00:19:49,447
And a lighter.
376
00:19:53,077 --> 00:19:55,913
Thanks.
I'll burn it later.
377
00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:03,128
I don't really know what to say.
378
00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:04,922
You wanna tell me what happened?
379
00:20:04,963 --> 00:20:08,592
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't
really that big of a surprise.
380
00:20:09,968 --> 00:20:12,804
Eric said that ever
since he left for Africa,
381
00:20:12,846 --> 00:20:15,640
he felt like our
lives were drifting apart.
382
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:20,645
So he decided, for the both
of us, that we should move on.
383
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:23,107
So, I guess we moved on.
384
00:20:23,148 --> 00:20:26,610
You all right?
Yeah. I will be.
385
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,240
Eventually.
386
00:20:35,077 --> 00:20:38,622
Well, if you need anything,
you know where I'll be.
387
00:20:38,663 --> 00:20:39,664
Thanks, Hyde.
388
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:53,678
And if you need anything
from me, you know where I'll be.
389
00:20:56,140 --> 00:20:57,307
Thanks, Fez.
390
00:21:06,275 --> 00:21:08,401
Dear Eric.
It turns out Donna
391
00:21:08,443 --> 00:21:11,071
was not doing it
with Randy after all.
392
00:21:11,113 --> 00:21:13,490
I jumped to
the wrong conclusion.
393
00:21:13,531 --> 00:21:16,326
But I learned my lesson.
And it won't happen again.
394
00:21:17,953 --> 00:21:22,332
It was so nice having you over,
Leo. You have a safe trip home.
395
00:21:24,334 --> 00:21:26,753
And don't worry.
I remember where I live.
396
00:21:31,049 --> 00:21:35,053
Eric, I have horrible news. Your
mom and Leo are having an affair!
30287
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